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TinaAnn - Tuesday Jan 01, 2013
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 155.0

Good evening everyone.  It's been awhile.  This is the time of year that the population here explodes.  It's a good thing if we can continue it.  While I have continued to slowly lose weight, I have not gotten back into exercise since July.  I will start again in a few days for reasons I'd rather not explain.  For now I am focusing on food.  A few months ago the dietitian at work told me which calorie counter program she recommended because she felt it the most accurate and wouldn't you know I can't remember what it was.  I thought I had written about it here but can't find it.  It was one I had used before and I checked the ones I could remember but I hadn't logged in to those in almost 2 years so they weren't right.  It's not Lose It, FitDay, or MyFitnessPal.  Any suggestions? My computer is in Pastor's office being looked at.  He's had it so long I don't know what he's really doing to it.  But if I had it, I could find it in the history.  I'm using Mom's now and unless I remember the name of the site, I can't find it here.  I'll keep trying.

Progress as of today: 26 lbs lost so far, only 35 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/02/2013:
I've used both FitDay and MyFitnessPal, and I liked both. I thought they were accurate enough for my purposes.

Have a good day today :)

TinaAnn - Friday Oct 05, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 158.0

 Hello, everyone.  I have been terrible about posting.  The loss has been excruciatingly slow.  I have terribly slacked on exercise.  At this point, my CNA job is my exercise.  I mean, running the hallways, lifting people, and doing all the things we do, 8 hours a day has to qualify for something.  I have mostly focused on eating.  I started eating a lot of soup.  One of my problems here has been the quality of food available- all white and processed stuff, pork and beef, etc.  And I cannot afford to buy and keep up with better stuff.  But there have been some of those Ruby’s Pantry and Second Harvest types of things where you go and either pay nothing or $10-$15 and you get a box full of food and one of the free ones has great stuff- whole grain and organic stuff.  A different one that Mom and her boyfriend went to actually had lots of chicken and whole grain pancakes.  I admit, I hoarded the soup in the basement because that is what I decided I would be eating a lot of because it is hydrating and helps you feel full for a long time.  I also hoarded a lot of the beans and whole grain tortillas.  There was a lot of oatmeal at one of them too so I have been making crockpot oatmeal using the apples from the tree in the yard.  Tonight I also added some overripe bananas because I love bananas, especially when they’re warm and these needed to be used.  I can’t wait to eat it in the morning.  I will also have an egg and whole grain pancakes.  I’m excited.  I have done will with eating breakfast, something I have struggled with.  I just hate getting up any earlier than I really have to for work but I have worked things out a little better.  When the boyfriend goes to town at night to pick up Mom from work (he leaves at like 8 or 9 and Mom gets done with work at midnight or 12:30), I bake chicken if I need to for my lunches and dinners, make oatmeal for breakfast the next day, and shower.  The days Mom drives herself are a little harder.  I do have to get up earlier and I have cold cereal and milk.  I bake enough chicken to last a few days so I hopefully always have that.  I’m started to get very “picky” about what I eat.  I refuse to eat the white bread and pasta (except, I will admit, in the cans of soup I eat.  I don’t know where to find soup with whole grain pasta and making it isn’t really an option right now).  I talk myself out of stopping at the activities office for the tootsie rolls and laffy taffy in the basket.  I try to avoid the cookies on the coffee cart.  I am not always successful at that but I’m getting better. 

In other news, I finally have a court date.  On October 19th, 2 weeks from today, I will be pleading with the judge to return my boys to me.  Remember that XH is court ordered to give Ds11 his meds and he admitted he doesn’t.  He is also court ordered to make sure Ds11 gets to his psychiatrist sessions and XH missed 3.  Ds11 missed only one of those but that really isn’t the point.  But it goes beyond that.  XH does not have day care so the boys are left unattended and his discipline that borders abusive.  I found and make all the appointments with Ds11’s therapist.  I attend every CST meeting and XH has missed 2 (he was the one that agreed to have them), he has refused to give his information so that Ds11 could receive county services designed for people with his “disabilities”, he told the therapist he didn’t want Ds11 to need therapy, he has been after the school staff to stop modifying Ds11’s homework assignments, which would make things harder for Ds11, I made appointments for the first day of school to meet both boys’ teachers and I took them there.  XH didn’t have time to be there and has only been at 2 therapy sessions.  I make the 1 ½-2 hour trip for these appointments 5-7 times a month.  These are 4-5 hour time commitments for me and gallons of gas I can’t afford.  Just another sacrifice I make for my boys.  In my mind, there is no way the judge could leave the boys with him.  Pastor reminds me, while it’s a no-brainer to me and those around me, the judge may not see things that way and I believe that XH will find some stories to make up in desperation to keep them.  I have no doubt he will be reprimanded in some way for the court order violations but me getting the boys back may not be part of that.  But I am praying hard and so are others around me, including my pastor, his family and the elders of my church.  I have made lots of plans for when they get back; meals, how to handle the grocery shopping (there will be more money and I will be able to do this), homework time, games, Christmas will be great, finding a place of our own, we will finally have our lives back.  The boys want to come back.  I am excited because I don’t see how the judge can leave the boys there and scared because he could.  Please pray that the former happens and not the latter!

Progress as of today: 23 lbs lost so far, only 38 lbs to go!

TinaAnn - Friday Aug 24, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 160.0

Today did not start out well.  When I work the floor I start at 6.  Today I was scheduled to do something different and start at 9.  At 6:10 the nurse called me and said she needed me on the floor.  I live 12 miles from work and had not showered or anything.  I was starving when I walked out the door so I grabbed a cinnamon roll.  I still believe that less than healthy options are better than having nothing at all.  But It's still not a good idea to make a habit of doing that.  We had a picnic today at work so the menu was hamburgers, brats, and hotdogs on white buns, a nasty pasta salad, beans, and potato chips.  Since I am avoiding pork, I opted for the hamburger with lettuce and tomato and pickles but was wishing I had brought something else.  I skipped the salad and chips and just had beans.  And a 7up.  They were out of diet.  Oh, and watermelon.  At least that was good.  I had to stop at the gas station for Mom's boyfriend's cigarettes and ended up buying Junior Mints, the big box, and a diet soda.  But dinner was good.  My chicken sandwich on wheat with avacado, mustard, lettuce and tomato.  I also did my Turbo Fire today.  My son and his fiance moved their wedding from October 4th, 2014 to December 1st, 2012 so I have a lot of work to do in a short period of time.  I still have 40 pounds and 34 inches to lose (not counting arms and legs).  I don't expect to lose it all but I want to lose as much of it as I can.  Now that the boys are sleeping, I should probably get lunch for tomorrow so I don't mess up.  Tomorrow's obstacle will be Ds8's birthday.  I am going to get him a cake and we have ice cream here.  I love birthday cake and ice cream.  He will be 9 on Monday but since I'm not allowed to have him on Monday because of his nasty dad, we have to celebrate early.

Progress as of today: 21 lbs lost so far, only 40 lbs to go!

TinaAnn - Thursday Aug 23, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 160.0

The fair was good.  I walked around a lot.  I didn't avoid the food entirely as I should have.  I had half of a corn dog (it was nasty), mini donuts, and ice cream.  I don't know that I would have eaten any more if I had had more money.  I don't think so.  But not having much money definately did help some, I think. 

In the last 4 months I have lost only 8 pounds.  I have 4 more months until my son's wedding.  (Yes, they have changed the date again.  It went from October 4th 2014 to December 1st 2012.)  So can I speed up the rate of weight loss for the wedding?  I'm sure going to try.  I don't know if I can afford it but I have decided to have my own little kitchen in the basement.  I looked at what was available in the cupboards upstairs and found that I really could not, and did not want to, eat anything that was there.  So I made my own list and was able to buy about half of what was on it.  I have cereal, milk, lettuce, avacados, bananas, apples, whole wheat bread, tomato sauce (a substitute for mayo on sandwiches), eggs, orange and grape juice, peanut butter, mustard, bbq sauce, frozen mixed vegeables, and canned chicken.  I want to get a toaster and microwave down here.  Washing dishes isn't a problem since I have lots of disposables down here.  But if I do need something else, I can go upstairs and get it and then bring it back up and wash it.  The only obstacle I have had is that I wanted to make a chicken sandwich last night and have frozen vegetables with it.  It would have been really good too with lettuce, tomato, tomato sauce, and avacado.  But I could not find the can opener anywhere.  So I had cereal and milk instead. 

It's driving me crazy living here.  Mom has to always know what I'm doing.  Just now she came down and asked if I wanted pancakes for breakfast, which was nice but rare.  "No, I ate already."  "What'd you eat?"  Almost like she is afraid she is missing out on something.  "Cereal" My computer made a noise.  "What was that?"  Like I was hiding something from her.  The only thing I want to "hide" is my "kitchen".   "You don't work today, do you?"  "No"  I'm almost 40.  Does she really have to know what I ate and what I'm doing?  I've been here a year and I hate it just as much or more now than I did then.  Ladies, please pray hard that the boys come back very soon and we get my grandma's house!

Writing this blog post has helped me procrastinate my workout so I better get on it.  Since the boys were here for most of July, it's been so hard to get back into it.  I really really need to with my son's wedding coming up so fast now.  And just the fact that he will be home in 3 months.  I am running out of time.

Progress as of today: 21 lbs lost so far, only 40 lbs to go!

liza36 on 08/23/2012:
Hang in there!

TinaAnn - Saturday Aug 18, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 160.4

Hello. Ladies!  We're still moving forward!  I missed exercise yesterday because I was too lazy to do it before my afternoon shift and when I got home after that, the boys were very rowdy, we were panicking because DS11 misplaced his medicine bottle and he hadn't had his dose yet, and he was awake til 1 a.m..  I had a pill for him that I had saved in case of an emergency like that and I gave it to him and we found the bottle this morning so all is good now.  We all slept late this morning but I am hoping they will go to sleep early- or at least calmly watch a movie- so I can get it done tonight.  We are going to the fair today.  I am going to avoid as much fair food as possible.  I am too broke to buy much anyway.  And hopefully get to exercise tonight!

Progress as of today: 20.6 lbs lost so far, only 40.4 lbs to go!

TinaAnn - Wednesday Aug 15, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 161.4

I'm back for real in the exercise thing.  It's been so hard to get started again.  Even though I have not been very good about it, I have a feeling that when this TOM is over, I will be in the 150's- barely but still.  I am excited for that.  I've been fighting more cravings than I used to.  And it has helped to not have things available.  I am hopeful.

Last Thursday I signed the affidavit that will tell the court that XH is not doing his job.  I don't know if he has recieved the papers yet but when I called last night, not only did no one answer but it seems they shut off the voicemail.  I didn't know you could do that.  I have so many people praying for their safety.  XH's wrath is terrible and nothing is ever his fault.  He will see this as betrayal.  I don't know if it will help to call during the day when he and his girlfriend are gone to work because I hear XH's brother may be back in the house.  He's just as bad.  They are like twins born 6 years apart.  This waiting and worrying is stressful. 

Progress as of today: 19.6 lbs lost so far, only 41.4 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 08/15/2012:
Sorry for the X-stress. Hang in there and keep doing good things for yourself!

TinaAnn - Thursday Aug 02, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 161.4

Good afternoon, Ladies.  The boys have gone back to their dad's.  I feel like I am sending them to their doom.  Yesterday I called just before 8 and Ds11 had not taken his pill yet.  Because I fear for his safety if he misses it, I told him to do it.  He wouldn't until he hung up the phone.  When he was done talking, I reminded him again that he had to do that.  I know that this is not my responsibility but I don't want anything to happen to him because of his dad's negligence and I hope it will make the judge see that I am much more responsible and will go to any lengths to see that he is taken care of.  I would not be making the 4-hour time commitment it takes to go to his appointments if I had not been involved before.  But even more to go to this length, intrude on XH like that to make sure the meds are taken should further prove my commitment to my boys and that it is not about money as XH would have him believe.  I make monetary sacrifices to drive to the appointments.  It certainly cannot be about that.  It will become obvious that it is for XH.  Every accusation he has made about me, he has proven to be true of himself and I have disproven them about me.  Now that we are both under the watch of the professionals, how can the judge not see and could he not send them back to me?  He could have his own logic that I can never understand but whatever it could be would not keep my boys safe. 

I have been a bit lax in my exercising in having the boys home.  I think I said that before.  As you can see, it has not been damaging but certainly it could have been made better.  Tomorrow might be a good day to start again.  I do still have some bad habits to conquer.  I will be working on those.  I've been reading a dieter's devotional book even though I do not consider myself on a diet.  Still it is helpful. 

Progress as of today: 19.6 lbs lost so far, only 41.4 lbs to go!

TinaAnn - Thursday Jul 26, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 162.4

I'm pretty excited because with the boys here, I have not exercised all that much but I am still losing.  I think I have finally gotten the diet part right and when I finally get back to exercising regularly, things will work out fine.

Progress as of today: 18.6 lbs lost so far, only 42.4 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 07/26/2012:
Great news!

liza36 on 07/30/2012:
Glad you are enjoying having your kids there. And good news on the losing. Keep it up!

TinaAnn - Thursday Jul 19, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 163.0

Hey, Ladies.  I haven't abandoned this place.  I had to take ea few days off from exercise because I was so exhausted that I slept for 3 days.  I tried to keep up with working out.  I was doing 2 workouts a day to catch up but that exhausted me too.  So I picked a good place to stop and start again on a new week.  So this should be week 13 for me but I am doing week 12 instead.  I wish I could say that I stuck to good eating during that time but I didn't so much.  Because I have to be up at 5 am to go to work and I hate being up that early, I have had a hard time working in workouts because of the boys being here.  And that was also part of the problem before.  So I think I am going to have to start getting up at 4 to do it and get it done.  It will mean having to go to bed really early and hoping I can sleep and still get up.  It doesn't matter what time I go to bed.  Getting up before 7 is extremely difficult but I'm just going to have to do it.  If the boys come here to live permanently, I will have to have something worked out.  Even if they don't, it will be helpful to have it done.  You never know when there will be an emergency and it will be a good thing to have the workout done already.  On July 7th, I took the boys to a late 4th of July party.  The host gave all the kids sparklers.  I was watching Ds8 around the other adults and they seemed to be making sure the kids were really safe so I wasn't worried.  Then one of the adults told Ds8 to light 5 of them at once and he listened!  He hadn't even taken the plastic off.  He consequently burned his finger and thumb.  It wasn't serious but even after an hour his finger was hurting so much that we were afraid he wouldn't sleep so we took him to the ER because we didn't have anything to put on it.  We didn't get home until 1 am.  Guess who was sorry she didn't get her workout in that day. 

Progress as of today: 18 lbs lost so far, only 43 lbs to go!

TinaAnn - Thursday Jul 05, 2012
(Lean & Free 2000 Plus/What Would Jesus Eat/Chef MD)
Weight: 163.0

I love having my boys home.  It's been really great.  Getting to workout has been challenging though.  Here it is almost 10pm and just when I should be going to bed, I have to start Turbo.  And Ds8 wants to watch a movie while Ds11 wants to listen to music.  I will definately have to go into the next room but I will have to take the music with me and who knows how that will go.  But I have to get up very early so I need to get it done as soon as possible.  But if they are going to come back here to live, I have to learn how to do this.  I'm not a very good morning person and Ds11, no matter what time he goes to bed at night, tends to get up so early and when I have to be at work at 6, I am not getting up at 3 or 4 to do this.  I have this month to find a workable routine.  I'm also not able to do as much.  I can't walk Annie for an hour and 20 minutes, then spend 45 minutes on a walking video, and then do Turbo for another hour.  But It will all workout anyway.

I'm not going to list what I ate today because I need to get these 2 to stay in bed and get busy.  it was a high calorie day because of 4 little sandwich cookies and 2 Pepsi's.  Other than that, I did alright. 


Progress as of today: 18 lbs lost so far, only 43 lbs to go!

Em17 on 07/05/2012:
Hope you find time in the schedule!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/11/2012:
lol...late night workouts are hard! I do them too!

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