Happy Sunday! This morning marked two straight weeks of me walking every morning. Most days I did three miles in about 45 minutes or a little more, but my minimum is 30 minutes. I honestly think this is the longest streak I've ever had of any sort of exercise. The funny thing is it wasn't something I planned. I was struggling with some anxiety/depression around the current state of the world, and read an article about how much exercise can help alleviate both naturally, and just sort of took it one day at a time. And now it's been two weeks and I can't seem to relax until I've had my daily walk. It really has helped with my anxiety, among other things.

I remember when we lived in Indiana with hopes of someday moving to Florida (we moved here almost seven years ago now), I would tell myself that once I didn't have to deal with winters anymore I would walk all year round outside. Until now I've never stuck to any regular walking routine here. Now that I am doing it regularly I feel a little sad at all the walks I missed. We live in a small, rural lakeside neighborhood in central Florida with an abundance of live oaks covered in Spanish moss, magnolias and cypress trees, among other various tropical trees and plants. The morning song of birds and briney smell of the lake air that accompanies the sunrises I'm able to witness each morning...it's darn near a religious experience. I'm sad for all the time I wasted but I'm grateful I finally started.

I can feel my legs getting stronger, too. In the past I would discount mere walking as "not being a good enough workout," but walking an average of a 17 minute mile, especially on uneven ground, isn't a joke. And it's definitely more than what I was doing (pretty much nothing).

My relationship with food is a different story. My highest weight, back in 2009/2010 was 199. I lost forty pounds on WW in 2011, and kept if off for a good two years. Moving to Florida, changing jobs three times within the first four years and all the fun and stress that accompanied all of that led me to slowly put on 20 pounds. The last two years I've been floating there, around that 180 mark, but I'm thankful I've at least been mindful enough to have not gained all of it back (or even more).

Sometimes I forget what an accomplishment that is. And all of the things I've accomplished. I made moving here happen. I finally found *the* job, then went for a promotion 18 months after I started and got that, too. We bought a house that needed a lot of work and have made it our own. I've healed relationships. I've found and nurtured some new friendships and worked to keep long distance ones alive. I've completely changed the way I eat and what I feed my family, choosing whole, natural ingredients and avoiding processed food as much as possible (this was definitely not a priority ten years ago). I've also tackled some health issues of my own, dealing with two surgeries in the past seven years. Reading the old post here last night at first made me sad, feeling like ten years have passed and I'm still struggling with the same thing. That's true, but just to a point. A LOT has changed in the past ten years, and although I still struggle in my relationship with food in a lot of similar ways, I've also grown tremendously as a human being. And struggling with how I deal with food is at least better than throwing in the towel altogether. This will mostly likely be a struggle for me as long as I live. All I can do is try, and learn, and do a little better than yesterday.

 I believe my last post here in DD was over 10 years ago. I can't believe I remembered my password. In reading those old posts, my biggest realization is that, as far as my complicated relationship with food, nothing much has changed. I still weigh about the same, and I'm still constantly starting over and going back and forth between WW and calorie counting. The only thing I've done consistently over the past 30+ years that I've been struggling with my weight is to break promises I make to myself about losing it.

So where do I go from here? What's the point of declaring yet another goal or plan? I'm now in my mid forties and am still at least 30 pounds heavier than where I'd like to be. I'm still not comfortable with my body. And now, in the words of Nora Ephron, I feel bad about my neck.

i know what I need to do. No matter what plan I'm following, good days all look the same. And bad days all lead me down a path of depression and are followed by more bad days. I'm not going to promise that I'll do anything tomorrow. Except try. If I've learned anything about myself in reading those old posts, it's that I'm not ready to give up on myself.

Morning all!  Hope all is well.  I had a bad couple days food wise.  I was doing great there for a few weeks and then allowed myself one day of junk food (hubby's B-day), which turned into a weekend, which turned into 6 days.  I stopped at the grocery before work this morning and got some supplies...apples, natural pb, larabars and odwalla bars, protein shakes, etc.  I also got fish oil capsules and baby aspirins.  My father in law has been hospitilized probably 10 times over the last few years with heart related stuff, plus both my grandmothers have had heart attacks, and 2 uncles.  I want to lose this weight but I also want to live a healthy, long life.  I have been worried about this for awhile, as I know I am not in the best of shape anyway, plus I get a lot of swelling in my hands and feet and I worry that this has something to do with my heart.  The heart hospital in Indy does $99 heart scans so I think I will schedule one, just to be sure.  My family doctor kind of blew me off when I told her I was concerned, and told me to lose weight.  Nice.  I did have blood test done and my kidneys and liver are fine as well as my blood count and thyroid.  I don't know, its just weird.  My hands and feet get all red and hot and swollen at weird times, and its worse when I get up in the morning or when I sit at work all day, or if I walk my hands do it.  I have been doing this for a couple years now, and am curious to see if losing weight and regular exercise will help.

Anyway, my plan of action right now is 800-1000 calories per day and 100 grams of carbs or less per day, plus all carbs coming from natural foods.  No bread, potatoes or sugar.  I know it sounds extreme but I also know my metabolism very well.  I have hormonal imbalances and my maintenance level seems to be around 1500 per day.  This is what I did for about 3 weeks in Feb and lost 6 pounds, but I'm sure I gained some back.  My normal weigh in day is Tuesday and I am not weighing until then, so hopefully I can undo some of the damamge I did this week.  I also am going to start doing the circuit at the gym 3 days per week.  It's similar to curves and gets my heart rate up while hitting all the major muscle groups, plus it is a no brainer.  I can just put my Ipod on and do it. 

So, plan for today:

apple w/ organic pb and cinnamon, protein shake, larabar, scrambled egg whites w/ salsa,  organic yogurt w/ berries.  1 hour at gym, circuit+treadmill

Whelp, I'm off - Have a great day!

"I'm not overweight.  I'm just nine inches too short." ~Shelley Winters

Well hello there!

So much has gone on since I last posted here, but I have been lurking now and then as I still think about my "DD friends" often.  I love that you can feel so connected to people you have never met. 

I am still blogging regularly and have a weekly post each Tuesday called Fat Tuesday where I talk about my current weight loss efforts.  I have been doing pretty well the past few weeks, so hopefully I am following a good path that I can stay on.

My son turns 17 next month and right now we are preparing for a spring break trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains in northern GA for his birthday week.  I would really like to get down to 175 or so by then, which is possible in 3 1/2 weeks I would think. It has been years since I have been in the 170s and I think it would do remarkable things to my psyche if I were to make it there before vacation.

So, I hope you all are well.  I see a lot of familiar names in the side bar.  I would like to become a regular again, mainly because I'm selfish.  I miss the support and like-mindedness of this site, so here's to starting over!

Today's menu:

protein shake, cottage cheese, sugar free jello, almonds, scrambled egg whites w/ salsa, yogurt w/ berries

We just got home from FL Sunday night and I still haven't unpacked, so I will try to get a work out in tonight but at some point I will have to unpack.  I went to grocery last night and worked yesterday and today.  I am beat!  Hope you all are well!

xoxo-A 

Hi ladies!  Think I'll come hang out again.  I have been doing really well in life, not so much in food, but it is what it is.  Just got back from vacation and know i really need to get serious about my health.  I have been reading and lurking in here, just have not been ready to post.  I am so much better, as far as my bouts of depression/anxiety and really feel ready to tackle my issues with food.  Hope you all are doing well!

Hello daaahhhlings!  Happy almost-spring to you.  I am in an ab-fabulous mood today.  Hope you all are doing well and enjoying the wonderfulness of Friday. 

I am not officially doing JC any longer, but still following the general concept, which is planning out each day and sticking to the plan.  I have been logging everything on "The Daily Plate" and doing really well.  The JC food was wonderful and I love the structure and one-on-oneness of it, but just too expensive and far-away for me.  I have my second weigh in tomorrow and am hoping to be at 184, but we shall see.

Come check out my blog anytime:

http://abfab74-abfab74.blogspot.com/2009/03/precipice.html

Have a wonderful weekend! xoxo - A

Hi all,

Still following program to a T.  It is pretty easy right now and I am not really having cravings or anything.  I have my first weigh in on saturday morning.  I am down about 4 pounds at home so far and I still have a few days left so we'll see.  I have to go to the store after work as I am out of fruit and veggies almost completely.  James has to work late tonight, and I haven't worked out all week as my back has been hurting pretty bad.  Feeling a little better today and I would love to get on the treadmill a little tonight.  It is just so hard to get started again once you haven't worked out for awhile.  I know once Ido it once I will feel better and motivated to keep doing it. 

Anyway, sunday is James' B-day, and I am taking him to a comedy club Saturday night and to a wild big cat preserve on sunday which I know he will love.  I want to get him an actual gift but am not sure what to buy.  we'll see...

Hope you all are well.  Have a great day!