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bearcountrygg - Thursday Aug 29, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

First thing this AM...no internet....reset...and it's back.  Well....good to know...I will try resetting it in the future instead of waiting for it to come back by itself......

Electronics rule my life.....I come from the generation with phones teathered to the wall and party lines with 4 different families phones ringing into my house..........

Starting with 2 cups coffee with 0 cal caramel (walden farms chemicals)...LOL...tasty...found it in the cupboard  and probably should not ever buy it again...but it's here so it is fair game...and will use it up....looking at a lot of food in the pantry and wondering what posessed me to buy it in the first place......but will be using it.

Breakfast was 2 cups coffee, walden farms zero caramel,  1 mini box of kelloggs frosted mini wheats. 1/3 cup silk unsweetened almond milk, mini cup dole ruby red grapefruit = 213 cals

Changing it up a little today and cleaning everything out of my Bd Rm closet that no longer fits...bad habits have been created by my not wanting to even go in there right now...too many clean clothes have been living on a chair lately....so everything that doesn't fit comes out and will be dealt with one way or another and ONLY clothess that fit will go back in.also...shoes that I never wear...need to go..   Also will be tackling the laundry room closet......discovered that we have enough TP, garbage bags ,cleaning supplies and kleenex for the next year...good to know...but not a good way to use that closet space. Back to work!

New rules for my clothes closet......only clothes that fit.  I must wear EVERYTHING in a rotation to begin with...and anything that i do not like, doesn't fit right or is seriously out of style and I won't wear...must GO>  I just found a huge stash of medical scrubs......all in perfect condition....except I just unearthed a pair of elastic waist scrub pants with the elastic shot because of unuse.....someone could have made use of those but not now.....i will never work in a medical office again...i think I kept them all to be used as lounging pajamas......well....NOW I have to wear them all or else out they go........plus...i have shrunk 2 inches in height in the last few years..( totally typical I hear).....and now many of my pants are too long.......only the petite lengths really fit now.............wearing EVERYTHING  will prove it all.

D will be late getting home for lunch...and I just caught myself mindlessly eating cookies because lunch is more than an hour late....wow...how quickly and easily that happened Obviously no pics of that....the good thing is that they are gone now though...back to my old trick of making food disappear..........wow

Well...I guess the cookies ended up being lunch...and we had dinner instead of lunch today......chicken, peas and pasta.....no pics...D came home and put a bunch of stuff on the table....and totally blocked where I take pics....UGH....and since apparently the holiday has begun....we are bombarded with people comming to the forrest for the last summer holiday.....so wifi is again wonky......and the dust is rolling down the road.........happy labor day weekend!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/29/2019:
i'm really enjoying the fact that EVERYONE is showing a strong vocabulary. lately, i'm reading the word "tether" also in a book i am reading. so you reminded me of it when you wrote it here ;)

your breakfast looks very tasty. i enjoy that type of breakfast especially when waking up late and lunch is soon after on the weekends. very tasty indeed. lately i'm eating much more sweets and carbs, tasty at the moment when i eat them too and i have a corn muffin to enjoy later tonight or tomorrow :)

wishing you a productive cleanup!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
Did we all get out our thesaurus? Back in college I was taking a graphic design class ( no idea why...I was a psych/soc major)...and I had learned a word there...that was used in class...and a while later I ran into the word in the newspaper and was quite impressed with myself...LOL....wish I could remember what the word was.......LOL

Donkey on 08/29/2019:
Pretty picture - good for you for using up the pantry food!

I found that I am slowly getting rid of my fat clothes. I still have a couple of favorites left. I admire your determination to get it done!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
Wearing myself out...and not eating as much work...LOL Still using my Christmas cup...I should probably clean out kitchen cupboards too. They are really Campbell's soup mugs....but the name you know......suddenly we had a cupboard full of them when they went on sale.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/29/2019:
and yes, good for you finding food to use...i have SO MUCH pantry food and you've reminded me to *possibly* cook up some noodles and other things on the weekend.

i have my keto brownie mix to try.....i cannot wait!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
I'm staying away from the store.....things are getting close to expiring...or already have...so it's time here.

legcramps on 08/29/2019:
I remember those party lines...I used to sit at Grandma's house with the phone glued to my ear just listening to everyone else's conversations :0 I can't believe how commonplace it was back then, and how that would be such a breach of privacy now!

How did the basement cleanup go?

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
Party lines were so accepted....My mom wouldn't let me listen...but I was always curious who those people were...I wanted to know that so bad. She said they were neighbors...but I don't think so.....and at our house we had to keep calls very short....didn't want to bother anyone...LOL...a couple of times I was asked by someone who wanted to make a call to hang up so they could use it.....

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
Basement is coming along nicely...but wanted to take a break from tht today...just a little change of pace.

Maria7 on 08/29/2019:
Actually, BC, I think you are VERY SMART to have prepped with a lot of food storage and I think that would be a smart thing for everybody to do...to have some food storage built up...Who knows what prices of food might be (or what may be available) in the future? Yes, Sister, I need to also go through my closets (when I can get the time synced with the energy-level to do so), too. Hoping you have a blessed day. Yes, I remember those eavesdropping days of the phone connected by the little short cord to the wall and sharing party lines, ha!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
I'm quite surprised at some of the things I saved as far as clothing goes...LOL....i really doubt in fact I KNOW...I will NEVER be wearing these things again...What was I Thinking...LOL? I'm sure there are so many young people that have NO IDEA what life was like in our younger years....Baby boomers have seen it all....!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
I do think that i will prep the pantry in a different way the next time...there are some companies that sell foods that are pkged for 25 years storage...and D really wants to try.....army rations...LO...I do not think he will be happy with those...but I will get hom some.....the foods we have stored are expiring...so now...we have to use them up.

Maria7 on 08/29/2019:
I have a big stainless steel can of self-rising flour that sets in the kitchen, that I have used for years...keep adding and subtracting from it, ha. Holds probably 30 lbs of flour at least. I like to bake biscuits and cornbread sometimes, also make pies, etc. with the flour.

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
There are so many things that can be done with self rising flour in an emergency...a few years ago D had heard about fry bread on a western...and we had to try it....it wasn't half bad....and would definately be something to sustain life in an emergency....as I recall...it was only the flour mixed into a dough with water...and then fried...so simple.

Maria7 on 08/29/2019:
Yes, I have made my pancakes (we call it 'fried bread') many times using only the flour mixed with water and fried in oil...yummy! Sometimes I simply make fried bread to go with scrambled eggs with or without grits...it's very good and tasty. Oh, and Sister...We MUST resist the cookies if it means WEARING them...but you did real good, deciding for them to be your lunch. Smart thinking.

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
Thankfully the cookies are gone now.....no snacks tonight either........need to make it all total correctly....UGH

Horn_of_plenty on 08/29/2019:
good idea on wearing everything. i also had a HUGE amount of medical white scrub pants and blue collar shirts from a stint in the medical field that i did. they should be donated.i have a lot of clothes i can prob get rid of, again, soon.

bearcountrygg - Wednesday Aug 28, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Big downpour last night.......looks like it might be a nice day though.  The wifi has been going off and on and sometimes I'm lucky enough to use it a little.  Continuing on with the plan of the last couple of days......working well so far.  Phone is just too difficult to use here...so will be back when i can.  Hoping the logging trucks finish up here soon.


Donkey on 08/28/2019:
I agree -- this site is not phone-user friendly! I hope you have a good day!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
Yup......better to wait until I can use computer again.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2019:
i hope it's a nice day for you too.

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
It was very nice.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/28/2019:
yes, not phone user friendly. lol

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:

legcramps on 08/28/2019:
Have a nice day today! We've had some rain in the last couple of days too, but the sun comes out afterwards and it's quite pretty!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
More rain here for us tonight...thursday....but i like it...cools things off a bit.

Maria7 on 08/28/2019:
Looks like your plan is working very well for you, with sharing photos of your food plates which helps stay on track as well as we all like to look at them, too. You have a lot of work to do in your basement. I have work to do in my closets, cleaning them out. Hopefully if we keep doing some along and along we will get them accomplished.

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
I am frustrated about the quantity of stuff.......I like shopping too much....LOL

bearcountrygg - Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

It all came together yesterday for the first time in a long time........fitday/posting pics on DD/posting just before I go to bed/staying busy most of the day ....it all came together to make the perfect day for me.........no shopping......the day was a breeze to get through and no desire to snack last night.........I think this may just be the combo that counters my weak spots and strengthens everything else.  Just sipping my coffee for the moment...and planning a day exactly like yesterday.

Breakfast was coffee with 0 cal caramel syrup, joy bol cereal, banana, grapes =444 cals

Lunch was a salad of lettuce, cucumber, cheese, light ranch and everything but the bagel seasonong =236 cals

Wifi is being unpredictable today...but dinner will be like last night......

Donkey on 08/27/2019:
Key words "no shopping" - can be hard for me, too. Lovely colorful breakfast!

BearCountryGG on 08/27/2019:
Eating and shopping are just so darn easy and fun...LOL

grannyannie on 08/27/2019:
Good job! :)

BearCountryGG on 08/27/2019:
Thanks Annie!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/27/2019:
joy bol cereal looks good!

enjoy your day love looking at the fruit.

i love a nice, productive day also.

BearCountryGG on 08/27/2019:
I do like the joy bol...but it's pricy and I think is the last one here.....not sure if I would ever buy it again...but it's tasty.

happy-1 on 08/27/2019:
You could sign up for a CSA for fresh produce, meat and bread... no more shopping unless you want to go...

BearCountryGG on 08/27/2019:
I wish I could...they don 't offer that in our area.....I've checked all of them...it would really be nice.

happy-1 on 08/27/2019:
Aaaaw. Hugs. To the grocers for you then!!!

BearCountryGG on 08/29/2019:
yeah.......lots of driving...but doable.

bearcountrygg - Monday Aug 26, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Up and ready to get super serious today........did snack a bit last night but I will admit that here because i don't want to bring yesterdays post to the top......didn't count the cals.......but today is another thing!!!


I'm just so ready to spend about 6 to 7 hours in the basement today......I want to make that space more usable and get the "stuff" under control.  I'm also committing to calories in the 1,200 range today...taking this one day at a time...making the commitment 1 day at a time.  Life happens and because I am one of those people that think if I mess up,....I have to quit and restart again....UGH....such a restricting mind set......I know the first step is acknowleging it....so there is that. I am also recognizing that I have some OCD..........so the restarts will be daily....if I can't lick it...I will join it.

I am also watching macros......that is something that I have always had fun manipulating and it leads to better nutrition for me...more well rounded and just plain fun in my book. 

I am committing to using what is on hand........I will not be doing any shopping today of any kind.

I guess that recommitting myself daily will be something that satisfies my OCD brain...because I KNOWt that I can do anything for 1 day.


2 boiled eggs = 162 cals, 2 cups coffee = 5 cals, 2/3rds cup light plain yogurt = 90 cals

My WW subscription has ended and I am now using the FITDAY  classic which is free online.

Also adding another commitment...I will be back here tonight before bed...to post as a way of curtailing my evening snacking....and at the very least...a photo of the transgression...that should stop it.


Lunch was beef strips with tomatoes, onion and peppers, lite mozarella stick, banana, lots of grapes, lettuce  = 425 cals

The basement cleaning went very well this morning...got a lot done...and heading back down there again here in a couple of minutes.

Dinner was lettuce, cucumbers , baked beans, pulled pork mixed into beans = 550

Total cals for the day = 1,232

Just planning on drinking water for the rest of the day....and will check back in just before bedtime to confirm.

Basement is coming along really well...not nearly done...but getting there.

10 PM...heading to bed now...no evening eating.......so it was a sucessful day.


grannyannie on 08/26/2019:
Good plans for today.

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2019:
Thanx Annie.....I'm working on it!

Donkey on 08/26/2019:
If you feel like quitting, tell yourself that this is your job assignment today, as if you worked for a temp agency.

I can completely understand why people hire out organizational consultants. It can be so overwhelming. Heck, I can't even get to my pantry, and that should be easy!

So give yourself a lunch, and a 15 minute break, as if you worked in an office or for a boss. And at the end of the day, give yourself some praise :-)

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2019:
Very good ideas Donkey......I loved working and looking at this like a job will be a big help.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/26/2019:
i like how you put seasoning on your eggs...! now that i've been using my "everything bagel" mixed seasoning on eggs, i fear having to eat them plain!!!!!! i'm too used to the extra flavor now and eating a plain boiled egg doesn't appeal much anymore to me!

donkey's suggestions are quite good.!

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2019:
I have the everything but the bagel...never thought of that on eggs....will definately try...thanx for the suggestion HOP

happy-1 on 08/26/2019:
I tried to go through my mom’s papers last night. I looked at 2 envelopes and just couldn’t think my way through it. It was so much easier to toss stuff when she was alive. Now it just breaks my heart. Professional organizer might help me. If you’re able to open the boxes and toss or donate stuff, you are a hero.

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2019:
It is hard....since the stuff I brought here is the stuff i wasn't letting go of easily......I had to make super fast choices right after she passed.....D was 4 hours away...I was staying in their house, I needed to totally empty it and get it listed......it took me 3 months. Salvation army brought a huge truck and alot was taken away.....a dumpster , many loads to goodwill and salvation army in my car....some was given away to those who wanted it.....and this stuff came here because I felt it held the most memories....or would be useful to us. I am having trouble tossing these things....what I am doing is using alot...there are also things from all of my grandparents....my kids are not going to want most of this and will not have the memories that bind me to these things.....almost 5 years for my Mom and 12 years for my Dad.....it is still hard....I actually am finding it easier to just use a lot of it...then if it breaks or wears out...throwing it away will be easy. i spoke to a childhood frind the other day who said her and her brother just threw all of the photos away in a mad dash to settle her Moms estate.......i can't do that....in fact I am sending photos to an aunt and many cousins.....and it's only barely putting a dent in things....I do think that while i'm so far unable to donate much...I do think the more I handle these things the easier it will get.....I find it so much easier to get rid of my own things...than I do others.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/27/2019:
your meals look nice and filling! tons of veggies here and healthy eats.

happy-1 on 08/28/2019:
I can't even imagine throwing away photos

bearcountrygg - Sunday Aug 25, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Actually had leftovers from yesterdays dinner for breakfast this morning..( chicken, pork, mixed veggies , rice in a teriyaki sauce)...equaled a cup......plus a cup of coffee = 410 cals

I've been eating approx 1,300 cals a day...sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less.......and I feel like the losses have stalled......so I'm going to try to keep under 1,300 today and see how that goes.......1,200 is what i'm shooting for. 

Staying around the house and doing some odds and ends around here......tomorrow I start working on the basement again and I plan on being down there all day.....i really need to wrap that up....plus there are a few things I've been looking for and hopefully they will show up.

 Lunch was tomatoes, peppers, onions and beef...and a mini single serve pretzel/pb granola bite thing

Cereal and almond milk will round out the day.........and lots and lots of water.


happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
Good, strong mindset today. You go get that basement, girl. You are a force of nature and nothing will stop you.

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Keeping busy!

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Kicking my own butt into gear!!!

Donkey on 08/25/2019:
Nothing wrong with leftovers for breakfast!

Make sure that your reduction in calories doesn't set you up for going overboard.

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
I know...this is not going to be easy...but if i can keep my head in the right place it will work....keeping busy is a big part of that for me.

Donkey on 08/25/2019:
^^^oh but I am cheering you on. Please don't think I was trying to discourage you!

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Oh I know.......it's a slippery slope....

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Funny...how I said slippery slope and then I went down and read a comment you made to someone else....and you also said slippery slope.....we are thinking a lot alike today!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2019:
breakfast and lunch sound nice.

keep on don't quit. and keep finding what works for you.

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Keeping busy doing other things is really what I need to do!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2019:
good job on a good size breakfast portion.

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Kept me full!

bearcountrygg - Saturday Aug 24, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Breakfast was cereal, almond milk, banana and blueberries.......headed to the basement...and it is still overwhelming....I opened a few bins that have been closed for almost 5 years...things from my parents house that had been packed before moving them up here........things that meant so much to them and hold so many memories for me.......yet one day...my kids will have to deal with.......I  donated so much to Salvation army and goodwill while I was emptying their house....( my Mom had at one point before her passing say  that I "Had better not throw her stuff away".......well...some did get thrown away...family took some.....I took some.....and the rest got donated........it was impossible to keep all of it and I think it was unfair to expect me to keep all of it.....yet she did expect that........I'm not feeling guilty for doing what I did....but the things I brought here for me to keep is still alot.....I will try to pack it a bit tighter...I'm also displaying some....but I'm not  sure if that is totally healthy either........This house is only half the size of our old one....and the same size as the house my parents had.........thank goodness for the basement we have ,yet I can almost say that I dread going down there too.  It needs to be done and I've had enough of that for today.....it is truly overwhelming and I find I take the smallest excuse to escape it.......so much has already been done...yet there is even more than that to do.......I can picture how I want the basement to look....and this is sure NOT IT!!!   I'm kind of thinking that Monday I should just get serious about it......and keep at it until finished......what has been done so far was done in a similar way.....but what a mess........I came back upstairs telling D how overwhelming it was....he had to agree....i think a lot of stress will be taken off my shoulders when i finally get this finished....monday....it's game on....it will take days if not weeks...but it will be worth it in the end. 

happy-1 on 08/24/2019:
I feel drowned and overwhelmed in all my parents stuff too. Hugs.

BearCountryGG on 08/24/2019:
Yeah...it's a lot. I'm sure you do understand!

happy-1 on 08/24/2019:
You just inspired me to follow up on the professional organizers I contacted on yelp.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2019:
yes, i could totally throw out much more and clean up so much more around here...but not now. haha

bearcountrygg - Friday Aug 23, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Fall is definately in the air...trees beginning to turn and the ferns are all dying...a sure sign that fall is pretty much here.  Bath done, hair washed and ready to start the day.......breakfast was all protein.........funny...I had just watched a youtube video about OMAD carnivores....LOL...and went straight to the kitchen and had an all protein meal...and coffee...LOL...the power of suggestion!   Apprently I am easily led. 


Donkey on 08/23/2019:
LOL! Oh the power of suggestion -- very applicable to eating, not so much to cleaning or budgeting, at least for me. I have to work up to those.

Fall has arrived here as well. Cooler temps, although we're supposed to have one more burst of summer-like temps on Monday, perhaps, if things go as they are forecasted to go. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I praise the relief from the summer - and from the summer real estate - but find myself not quite ready for the decrease in sunlight.

BearCountryGG on 08/23/2019:
The days are getting shorter....I'm not looking forward to the ice.....that just lasts too long.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/23/2019:
well, i guess it satisfied your appetite even just watching it on tv :) it must have looked really good and tempting for you to get up and enjoy the same thing!

BearCountryGG on 08/23/2019:
I guess so....just seemed like the thing to do...LOL

grannyannie on 08/23/2019:
Enjoy the rest of your day!

BearCountryGG on 08/23/2019:
It was a good one!

happy-1 on 08/23/2019:
Still summer here. All my plants are dying.

BearCountryGG on 08/24/2019:
I didn't even put out flowers this summer......I resented having to water them last year....it's perennials for me now...they take care of themselves.

bearcountrygg - Wednesday Aug 21, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

So it's D's 71st birthday today...and his meal picks are anything but diet food.....so today....no dieting for me...although I will use some care in serving sizes.....he can mainly eat up leftovers after today...so it's fine.    The morning will be spent prepping his potato salad and cole slaw...so that will keep me busy for awhile.........They state forrestry is doing burns up here for the last 2 days...so we will be in a smoke /fog situation..........He will be taking his hounds out to do some training......most likely....so it will be a quiet day....( his phone has been ringing from his siblings all day yesterday.......and already today.....everybody knows he is up way before dawn.........He has gotten cards and lottery tickets to scratch...we really don't give each other gifts anymore because we just get what we want when we want it....it does take the shopping out of the holidays......and we give our kids/and grandkids checks...so celebrating is a bit different from the old days...and a lot more relaxed........and we like it that way.....so today will be about his favorite meal...and then doing whatever he wants......

I will be cooking...LOL

Salads are made......just waiting for him to get home from training the hounds........having a nice little break right now.....I used to really love cooking when there were so many in the house....but for just the 2 of us....i just don't do it as often...took me 2 hours to get the potato salad and cole slaw made and run the dishwasher........glad for the little rest now.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/21/2019:
yay!!! Happy 71 to D! He's going to be very happy later when he eats his bday dinner made by YOU! enjoy your day and birthday celebrations. You guys are doing things right!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
Salads are made and waiting...glad to have that part finished.

grannyannie on 08/21/2019:
Hope you both enjoy hubby's birthday! Diet food on birthdays is a no go!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
definately not dieting today....LOL

Donkey on 08/21/2019:
Happy Birthday D!! Let us know if he wins the lottery (lol).

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
Nope...no wins......One son insists on sending lottery tickets for holidays...we tell them we don't need or want anything but they won't stop...LOL As parents we are something else aren't we.......having kids is like having your heart walk around outside of your body.....it really doesn't matter how old they get...they are still our babies...LOL...funny how we would give them anything..but we don't want them spending any of their money on us......

innerpeace on 08/21/2019:
Happy Birthday to D! Enjoy your do diet day!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
We will...thanks!

legcramps on 08/21/2019:
Happy Birthday D! Hope he enjoys his day!!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
So far so good.......Dinner was nice and now I think he is going to take a nap......LOL

Donkey on 08/22/2019:
Um... picture of the cake?

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
Happy Birthday to your hubby! I like the idea of lotto tickets for a birthday

bearcountrygg - Tuesday Aug 20, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Heading out to the grocery store this morning bright and early.....tomorrow is D's 71st birthday and I will pick up some of his favorites......I do feel like I may be getting over the "stocking up" thing....and I look at that now as kind of a stress reliever........I'm working on less automatic reactions...and instead dealing with things as they come up...instead of putting up that panic wall.....I did the math today...I see the food stockpiling coinsides with the earlier times of huge stress...................so it wasn't prepping for disaster as much as it was blocking my emotions about yesterdays topic I wrote about.  What started out as food stockpiling really was masking my need to avert diaster that really had nothing to do with what it looked like........I was laying in a ton of food to eat my problems away...and in that sense...it worked....I ate and ate........now.....finally seeing why.....and what the real cause was... I was just trying to cope with the overwhelming need to deal with my emotions and the realization that I couldn't change her and the necessity of removing her from our house for our own safety.........( we turned her back into the court system and they placed her back with her birth mother because they couldn't find anyone else within the foster care system that would take her).........that didn't last...she just ran away.....and got emancipated...so that ended all of everyones responsibility across the board. 

So.......while I was telling myself to stockpile to avert disaster.......I was just drowning my sorrows in food....well...look how that worked out!!! 

Now......I still deal with the stockpile......the good and healthy...and the bad and just plain unhealthy yet tempting.........LOL.....I can do this...because now I truly KNOW WHY.......


Went to a store almost an hour away to get groceries for D's birthday tomorrow.

Leaving the forrest is always an adventure........gas tank filled?  Tires ok?  Phone charged.......bathroom first.......I saw two homes on the way there that I was determined to get pictures of on my way back...and then I couldn'r find them again.... Next time!!!

1 had signs all acrossed the front yard telling specific people where to park.....LOL...apparently someone keeps blocking Dad in....LOL

The other one had a sign out front proclaining it KOSY KOTTAGE.......and there was STUFF EVERYWHERE!!!!  Stuff covered the entire yard....decorative stuff....stuff hanging from trees. faded stuff....car parts....I have no idea how they manage to mow the few grass patches.......but it is their KOSY KOTTAGE and I want a picture to remember it by...it reminds me of a place down state that has covered their entire front yard with mirrors...all standing up or hanging from trees.......somehow when you look at it you feel like you have traveled to another dimension.....I want pictures!!!   Next time for sure!

The shopping trip was a success...much bigger store than we have here...and I was able to get 2 single serving little cakes...perfect.......and the other favorites for the dinner......and they had there there...i had seen them online but never in our store...well...i guess i have to out of the forrest to get this stuff......

They are sweet and delicious.

grannyannie on 08/20/2019:
Happy birthday to your hubby. Mine will be 71 in Nov.

I am a stress eater as well. All I can do is make sure there are no 'cheat' foods in the house. Doesn't always work because husband is a beer drinker (and brewer) so that temptation is always around.

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
I swear I have enough junk here to last 3 years......I will NEVER do this again...no more bulk shopping for me!!

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
Hubby thanks you for the birthday wishes.......71 year old guys are still pretty cool aren't they!!!

grannyannie on 08/20/2019:
Yea, I think so! Mine is still very fit as well. :)

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
Gotta keep them active!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/20/2019:
when it's Winter i am sure you may find the urge to "stock up" again but now that it's the warmer months still, i guess it's easier for you to leave the house and make it out to the supermarket and also the fact that i continued reading to see you meant stocking up as a personal habit rather than for a need because of nature...got you.

I hope next time to see photos of these unique homes!

those grapes are cute, i don't see such narrow ones in our supermarkets.

Happy birthday to D! what are you eating!?

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
I'm pretty sure now I was stress shopping and stress eating....Now that i know what I was doing...I can deal with it. His choices are NY strip steak, potato salad, cole slaw, cheese bread, cake and ice cream...nothing diet about it...LOL

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/20/2019:
Well doesn't he have good taste ;)

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
Pretty traditional midwest summer foods...LOL

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
I do the exact same thing when I am stressed... I buy too much food. It’s a poor choice and a constant burden. Working on going through stuff that my mom had and tossing anything with fake sugar as a start. I always said to her “that stuff probably causes cancer” and then...

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
Yeah,........shopping...just another addiction.....as well as sugar...another addiction.

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
I will say though that now that I use Sams Club and can just order the fresh produce only, we are making our way through stuff. It really helps to be a more organized shopper.

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
Yes it does...I am so guilty of ordering things I do not need...Just because they LOOK good.......now....I need to use it all up....UGH!

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
And his birthday dinner pick sounds awesome!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
Yes theydo....not dieting happening around here today....

Donkey on 08/21/2019:
I've had that kind of grapes before - it's like candy, they're so yummy!

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
They are very sweet...you are right...just like candy!

bearcountrygg - Monday Aug 19, 2019
(calorie counting)
Weight: 0.0

Fall is in the air and i'm loving it.....it's my favorite time of year!!   I hear that WW is once again changing it's program...apparently they are getting a lot of competition from a program called I TRACK BITES......with our wifi being so wonky it has definately made WW less accessable........and i figured that I would just cancel it until the wifi gets more dependable...besides...counting calories is easy enough...and...I have conditioned myself to eat around 1,200 to 1,500 cals a day anyway even without counting.....so there is that.......I have cut my online grocery shopping way back lately...( mainly used Boxed and Amazon) but also some Rite Aid and Doller General for things like Atkins bars for D........and a few other things........we really need to use what we have before buying more...shelf life for somethings is already past their dates ( They are still very safe.....as long as things look and smell okay...i'm okay with them...d not always...but for me...I don't have a problem with them.

I just had breakfast and realized I didn't take a pic...so I guess that just happened........looks like a busy no counting day, and 99% of the time i still stay in line when i go back the next day and figure it.......in my idea of a perfect world....I would never have to count again.......and I can actually see that happening.......no bingeing, no points or cals to worry about....just eating...in a healthy way physically and mentally. Eating all foods...where there are no banned or bad foods...just food..eaten in a way that is healthy and non obsessive.   More than half of my life has been that way........and I think that memory pattern is getting closer to happening again.......It really is not the foods fault...the fault lies with what I do to deal with life......and apparently eating isn't a healthy way to do that.....first of all...when I was in my forties food became a way to deal with an extremely dangerous and difficult foster/adopted daughter......and has been a problem since......before that...food was just a source of fuel/nutrition/ a way to celebrate family and friends around the table....then...it became poison and a way to cope with her........but she is grown now.....and still leading her dangerous life......we were facebook friends for years....and recently D reminded me that while she is not a threat to us....she is still a threat to herself and maybe I should just stop reading about her life messes on facebook.........and he was right.......the stress just drained away and I headed back to being the old me...before we brought her into our home....before police at the door, court cases, juvenile detention centers, B and E's and thefts from stores, and blocking our bedroom door at night..........she is her own worst enemy and acts exactly like her birth parents and other relatives.......over 15 years...we had some impact...even she says so...yet she fights the demons that genetics caused her...and we can't and couldn't do anything about that.....evrey family member of hers online is almost an exact copy...sad but true...we tried.....for a long long time....and it had a bad affect on my eating.....but it doesn't need to be that way anymore.....I'm free of dealing with her...and recently I am also free of reading about her sordid escapades and how she is one more blight on society......I can't fix her...I (we) tried..........she is cut from the same cookie cutter as her ancestors and I'm finally free of her daily forays into the seemy life...she has now lost custody of both of her children......and I don't want to know anymore about her life because it is affecting mine too much.......now...i need to just do what i I need to do and that is to put her in my past...accept that I couldn't "fix her"....and move on...and already this morning.....i'm just so much more relaxed...and even forgot to record breakfast....and it was fine...and such a relief.......I think i have won a battle...at least that is what it feels like.....

We ALL make mistakes.......we were told by the school that they felt she was a demon.....twice.2 different school systems......if I have ever wondered if that was possible...she made me think about it............I'm still not sure......BUTwhile i KNOW that we all make mistakes...and hopefully learn from them........we are fine......some people..are just driven to be more than that......the things she does are not mistakes...they are coming from a really bad place...and it's scary......okay....got that out of my system...now I need to go get over my mistakes...and start just being a happier person again.......the imperfect me is finally heading in the correct direction.....

For all of the mistakes I have made in life.....and for all of the times I have made decisions that didn't work out.........today...I'm no longer letting them rule my world....I'm embracing my warrior.


innerpeace on 08/19/2019:
You should be proud of your success with the battle of food and emotional eating. That is very hard to overcome. I heard NOON was giving WW some competition as well with the younger people. I have never heard of Track Bites, may have to go and read about that.

I have family members that fit that cookie cutter mold and right now I am trying to deal with how this lot takes advantage of my mother and I hate hearing about how my mother supports their lifestyles and keeps them all clothed, housed, cars gassed up and all their utilities on for at least two, maybe three, households. When I lived in Oklahoma I would always tell her they need to take care of themselves. I asked her, what will happen when you are no longer around mom? She said...I just hope they make it. She is always stress and worrying. I am glad to be away from it, and I just hope my mom doesn't die from it.

Anyway, I'm glad you were able to break free from it. Have a great day!

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2019:
While I'm sorry that your family is dealing with similar problems...i know that it all takes such a toll on others...I actually did try noom...and while I read all of the lessons and it apparently has helped some...the group I was in acctually just ceased to exist...everyone quit doing the exercises...so the last few weeks of my subscription were basically non existant......I think the I TRACK BITES is an iphone app....I don't know if they are online or not but I'm sure you can google it. I feel bad for you and your Mom......it is so easy to get emotionally involved especially when it's family and it takes it's toll on everyone.

grannyannie on 08/19/2019:
None of us is anywhere near perfect. All we can do is the best we can.

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2019:

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/19/2019:
i also have periods of online spending followed by periods of actually using the stuff up!

I am sorry that you tried to do right and fix someone / help them, and it didn't hold. in the end, we do what we try for kids, but, once they become adults it is up to them to make the right choices. you tried and did your best. you have better relations with your other family thankfully. there are lots of problems in society and some people need meds and help that they don't get. we'll never know why there needs to be so much negativity out there, but it is best to stay away from it now if you can. I follow your thoughts completely and though i haven't faced any of this myself, i can understand where your thoughts and feelings are coming from <3

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2019:
Thanks HOP.....I have to admit that no longer seeing her facebook posts has helped a lot....

Donkey on 08/19/2019:
One really valuable lesson I've learned from my boss is not to dwell on the mistakes of the past but to work on the present for a solution or a plan.

Having said that, believe me, I have made some really bad choices/mistakes, and every so often, they do come back to weigh very heavily on my shoulders. I cry and blame myself as though they were made just yesterday.

But nothing can change the past. I did the best that I could, and unfortunately, that fell way short of acceptable. I try to move forward and be a better person, to learn from my mistakes. Most of the time, I think I'm doing OK. But then, it will creep up again.

Just something I have to live with now.

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2019:
Well...we all have to live with our mistakes and truly...they make us the people that we are today....as long as we learn something from them.....way more often than I want...I revisit mess ups...and regrets....but...moving on from them and looking at them as a character building does help......

Donkey on 08/19/2019:
(Responded to your previous entry too, about the yogurt for breakfast)

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2019:
I read that......the syrup needs to be used up.....and I haven't had pancakes for quite awhile...but I like it in plain yogurt....messed up this time in a couple of ways though...i didn't get greek yogurt...and that was way more syrup than was needed...

happy-1 on 08/19/2019:
Hugs, you were brave to adopt. I’m so sorry it was a nightmare. Big hugs to you. I wish I could send you a real one.

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
Thanx happy......We tried....

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