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bearcountrygg - Saturday May 19, 2018
(Intuitive Eating)
Weight: 241.2

Watched the royal wedding.......and took a bath......and need to eat something I guess.....coffee so far....scales not moving at all.......there is a absolute need to shake things up.. It's raining.......Haven't eaten any more cuties or cantelope...and upper lip rash is getting irritating.............I seriously dislike dermatitis....................so I guess that brings it back to outside allergies because I can't think of anything else it could be that I have eaten that is seasonal or different......Finally ate toast and peanut butter...and  if I take benedryl...I will be out for the day....probably should because I keep accidentally biting my bottom lip and that is getting in the way too now...................I DO NOT understand why anyone would purposely have lip injections to get the trout pout.....!!!!!!!  This is one way to cut the calories!  Good night!!

The benedryl helped a little.....and I slept for a long time

Meal #2 = sweet potato 1/2 cup, peas, 1/2 cup, meatloaf, blueberries


Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

graindart on 05/19/2018:
Bet my mom watched the royal wedding. I remember her and my sisters watching the Princess Diana wedding back in the day.

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
I watched Charles and Diana's too.... this was quite different from the usual royal weddings....and it was very nice.

Maria7 on 05/19/2018:
I watched the royal Harry and Meghan wedding live on tv also...began very, very early this morning watching it, since we are 5 hours behind them. Wasn't it sweet?

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
Yes it was sweet......They look so happy...and Harry was so nervous.....I absolutely loved the choir singing Stand By Me...that was out of this world!!!!!...I could watch it over and over again.

Maria7 on 05/19/2018:
It was a very beautiful wedding.

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
yes it was.

Donkey on 05/19/2018:
I got up at 3:30am to watch and I sure am glad that I did, although I'm very tired right now. I was too young to wake up early for Charles & Diana. For the life of me, I can't remember what was going on that I missed Wills & Kate.

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
This wedding really broke with tradition...but it was so contemporary and fitting for todays couples. I can't remember William and Kates either.

bearcountrygg - Friday May 18, 2018
(Intuitive Eating)
Weight: 241.2

Lots of dog barking overnight...neighbors on both sides...and ours a little.....but we had the window open all night...and that makes for better sleep around here...but probably not good for allergies....didn't eat any cuties or cantelope yesterday and top lip 's rash is worse than ever and is now swelling a bit...not dangerously...but puffy............life goes on.  Another day on the road a lot...errands need to be done...and that's that.

Scale is not moving...but I did snack a bit last night on salty stuff.

Meal #1 coffee  then came home and had toast and cookies...

Meaal #2 meatloaf, sweet potato, peas

Meal #3 banana, pkg cheese and crackers, fiber one bar, nuts, dark chocolate

I'm not going to start it yet because we will be away from home for a couple of days next week....but..............................I was thinking of something today that I did many years ago that worked so well for me...and I'm thinking of trying it again for a week...possibly in june.

1.  Determine how many calories I want to eat in a day and multiply it by 7 = weekly cals

2.  Then...eat what I want daily counting cals but there will be no limit per day...until the last 2 days ( have to leave some for those 2 days)

3.  the last 2 days can be rough and for me usually consisted of low cal veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers etc...and zero cal drinks....but if enough are left by choice...then use them all.

4.  The beauty of this is that every day is different and it allows all foods....some higher cal days and some lower cal days keep metabolism up.

5. Some weeks I used all of the cals and had 2 miserable days....but it worked and I knew it would be over soon.

6. I actually lost weight well doing this...and I only felt like I was on a diet for 2 days a week....there was no rebelling for 5 days...there was no wanting to give up for 5 days...and the weight loss was so good it all felt worth it............

7.  Some days I want to eat a lot...and other days I'm not very hungry and this adjusts really well to that

8.  Weigh in on morning of day 1...and don't weigh in until day one of next week...no checking just for fun in between.......that can throw the whole thing off.

9.  The biggest drawback other than 2 possibly rough days at the ened...is that you still have to count calories.

I think this would be a really good way for me to start at the end of may or beginning of June...........it was like playing a game that is always changing...and that suits me really well....


Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2018:
your weekly cal plan is similar to mine in that i do know my weekly cals each week...have a good day doing errands BCGG and perhaps you can buy a cream to put on your rash?

bearcountrygg on 05/18/2018:
Nothing that could go on lips.....I will see tomorrow...If I don't have to go anywhere tomorrow..I may just take some benedryl...can't drive with that...it totally knocks me out cold...and then I sleep a long time. The rash is spreading up to my nose like in the past.....it's weird.

graindart on 05/18/2018:
The wife's been leaving the windows open at night lately, up until today's high of 49 degrees.

Whatever plan you can stick with is the plan that will end up providing the results.

bearcountrygg on 05/18/2018:
Totally agree...and it was nice to have that window open...fresh air is wonderful.

Donkey on 05/18/2018:
I like this plan - I think it's worth trying (again) for a period of time, at least.

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
Looking forward to it.

bearcountrygg - Thursday May 17, 2018
(Intuitive Eating)
Weight: 241.2

Beautiful day here today...our allergies are in full swing though....and the seasonal rash I get on my lips and under my nose is  a thing again......comes from breathing  in something I am allergic too....kind of like a dermatitis rash......must be the trees/buds/grasses...etc......feels like sandpaper....and thankfully does not itch...I will be happy to have that go away......but it's an annual thing.  Also lots of runny noses and coughing.

D has a PT appt this morning bright and early.............he drove the truck for the first time yesterday.....getting in...great...getting out...a problem...UGH....I think we both enjoyed our break from each other...LOL....I will have to continue driving him to PT though..........hopefully...with some luck...there is only one more PT visit after today...we are ready for this to end.  Still lots of swelling and heat on knee...and even though they glued it shut ( 8-9 inch incision)...they stitched inside...and stitches from inside are working their way out...and that is weird....

EDIT...looked up the lip rash/bumps/dermatitis...and realized that although I always tied it to spring.....becasue that is when it always started...according to what I'm reading...it is more than likely food related...and since I do start buying cuties and cantelope in the spring....it actually may be one or both of those......will have to see how that plays out.

ALSO....my hair is longer than it ever has been in my life...and it's getting thinner and thinner.......so since it is now about 2 feet long....I guess I am going to have to cut it shorter....age/dieting/easier tangling....and if I don't do something pretty soon I won't have much left.....it had always been so thick...but now I'm seeing way too much scalp......and we are finding long hair everywhere around here...need to do a little research on that now too....I know when I crash dieted many years ago...I would have some hair loss behind both ears...this time...it's falling out all over..especially on top....if it isn't one thing...then it's another.

Anyway...after that long winded medical update...LOL

Not hungry for breakfast...so just having a cup of coffee = 5

Meal #1 subway sandwich =857

coffee with creamer..that I miss poured...so high creamer cals = 105


calories = 967

Cereal and almond milk = 220

1 pkg cheese crackers, 1 bar, a little dark chocolate

My calories are working out quite good...I may stop counting them again, it is a bit of a hassle.....I'm staying around the 1,200 to 1500 mark....but what is a pain is that the scales aren't moving at all...and at this calories rate...it should....I probably lowered my metabolism so bad between past crash dieting and low thyroid...that I would have to be on a starvation diet over a long time to lose well again.....this yoyo dieting I have done for so long is so damaging......BUT.....I will keep on...keeping on......and eating in a way that should help.



Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/17/2018:
thanks to sooo much rain, no allergies today as it's been raining full swing for over 24 hours now and will continue all week! i'm glad to skip a pill.

i'm guessing it's been dry by you since you say allergies are bad now.

WOW..PT is over already for him! boy does try move fast! the stictches will fall out? or they just turn outwards?

i had a friend that got a rash from limes / lemons on her upper lip.but it may have also been bc she was eating them in the sun causing a sunburn in that spot above her lip..

you have thick hair compared to most women i think according to your photo!

whenever i omit fats, my hair gets rough.

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2018:
No rain for a few days here...so it is beautifully dry and green. Allergies not great.....I'm thinking the lip rash is the cuties...or maybe citrus in general...I had a touch of it back a couple of weeks ago too.....I don't know what that is. There were no stiches on the skin...they were all internal...and they had 1 end of thread coming out each end of the incision...and those were cut off awhile ago...but now internal stitches are starting to poke out in spots...it's weird...I'm thinking his body is rejecting them....he cuts them when they appear....that may be why it is still very warm and swollen...but he doesn't have a fever so it's probably ok. 1 more PT and should be done...YAY!!!! I used to have thick hair...now...not so much...and what I think is adding to it is the fact that it is so long...it gets tangled easier...I'm still eatig butter and olive oil...but in the past...dieting did make 2 small patches fall out but they didn't show.....now..there is way too much scalp showing on top....I'm sure age is playing a part in it too...( Maybe my head is getting bigger,,,LOL)

happy-1 on 05/17/2018:
Hey - Question... I need to do a quick product feature writeup for a case study for my interview. What's something on Fitday that frustrates you or you wish was done differently? Do you pay for fitday or use their free app?

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2018:
Actually neither...I bought a CD from them many years ago...and I just install and reinstall whenever I want to use it...so mine is very outdated......I paid $35 for it back then...so I don't know what their new programs are about really....but that old CD is great....nothing actually bothers me.

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2018:
Now the Weight Watcher program online...that is a pain in the butt....but that probably isn't what you need.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/17/2018:
sometimes it takes longer than we want for the weight to come off...it takes a few more days of doing the good things :)

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2018:
I'm finding myself figuring in my head because I have a pretty good idea of the cals......seems like I'm sticking mostly around 1,500......I may have to concentrate on 200 or 300 lower....will see.

Donkey on 05/17/2018:
For thinning hair, I take gummy vitamin supplements labeled "Hair & Skin". that seems to have helped somewhat.

bearcountrygg on 05/18/2018:
Ok...thanks...I will check those out!!!

happy-1 on 05/17/2018:
Oh you are probably on their "PC app". Basically I need to do a case study on a feature I added to a software product n the past and how it turned out but I didn't save anything from ld companies so I'll just do a writeup on a feature to one of their apps.

bearcountrygg on 05/18/2018:
Not an app...it's an actual OLD CD from 2000....it's cracked...and scratched...but still works.

bearcountrygg - Wednesday May 16, 2018
(Intuitive Eating)
Weight: 241.2

Will be on the road much of today...to start....we bought 2 pkgs of wall fastenenrs a few days ago....get home...and 1pkg had been apparently previously bought by someone else who had taken some parts out...and broken another......and then returned them.......we needed all of it....so today...back to Home Depot....that's over 2 hours on the rd...then a quick trip into Walmart for milk, eggs and bananas.

Out of curiosity...I will start counting calories today....need to see if I'm on track calorie wise.  

Will use Fitday and report here..........Intuitive eating is comfortable for me.......one days lack of a food group does turn into another days completely covering it....so I'm depending on my cravings to lead me down the right path......but because fitday also gives nutritional value totals..... I can adjust it to cover anywhere from 1 day...to 2 years...( no need for the 2 year total...)....but I'm now curious...and interested in finding out if I'm eating too little or too many calories.

So...Hitting the road early.......and not hungry...just thirsty.

6:30 A.M.

Tea = 2

Back home again at 10:30 and hungry

365 yogurt/strawberry oatmeal = 250

1 cutie = 31


meal # 1 = 283 calories


Meal #2

12:45 P.M.

wheat bun = 150

beef patty = 270

mustard = 3

relish = 14

potato chips = 150

celery = 6

cantaloupe 1 cup = 55

coffee = 5


meal # 2 calories = 653

Days total so far = 936 calories


Meal #3 

5:30 P.M.

3 ounces pork = 213 cals

2 light string cheese sticks = 100

Kodiak blueberry muffin = 260


Meal #3 calories = 573

Total calories for day = 1,509





Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/16/2018:
when on the road, you may want to prepare snacks and things to bring with you if you are hungry...if you can prevent being too hungry once being home...

for me, if i'm on the road and come home too hungry, i overeat once i'm home. not sure you want to snack, though!

bearcountrygg on 05/16/2018:
I just wasn't hungry...and ate breakfast when I got back here....and then had lunch just a couple of hours later so it worked out ok.....heading back out again here and a few...and I I'm full......I usually keep some bars in the car....but didn't need them today. But is a good idea to have something there just in case.

horn_of_plenty on 05/16/2018:
yes, i also enjoy lighter dirnks also on the road...although i had wayyyy too many diet drinks and now my skin on my face is partially spitting out the chemicals lol in the form of pimples...but they are almost gone :)

bearcountrygg on 05/16/2018:
Drinks with the artificial sweeteners make my joints hurt....so I'm really enjoying the seltzer waters....although they do add a LOT of bubbles to the belly....LOL I still love my coffee and tap water....tea just seemed like something different today...and I enjoyed it. Nothing seems to give me pimples...but I do have an olive tone to my skin....and I suspect that is why...I never did sunburn either...just got pink on day one and the next morning I was just darker....now D and the boys...they have more skin problems..I do get hives.and boy do they itch for a few hours...and then they go away....but I've never figured out what causes them for sure.

Donkey on 05/16/2018:
Well done today! I like the idea of a "self-check" with calorie counting, just to make sure you're still on track. Thin people don't eat when they're not hungry, so I think it's a good thing that you didn't eat until later.

YANNY. No question.

bearcountrygg on 05/16/2018:
D heard Lauren......LOL

bearcountrygg on 05/16/2018:
That should have said D heard Laurel

bearcountrygg - Tuesday May 15, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 241.2

 Crazy week here..jam packed front to back........rained all night so it's the day to burn boxes..so D will try out his first driving skills today......the tractor is probably a good placce to start that...at least he won't be on the roads...LOL...and since I'm done ordering stuff for a long time....the box problem should be done.  I'm really enjoying the intuitive eating.......and I will probably be tweeking it in the next few days and start keeping track of calories...just to make sure I'm eating an appropriate amount......too little...or too much causes equal problems......the scales have been the exact same for 2 days....so I will give it a few more...and start tweeking it here and there...but keeping the same principles.  Laundry day will keep me busy...and putting off the errand day...until tomorrow....too much to do around here today.  

Since I am sitting at PT waiting for D for at least 3 hours a week.....I have plenty of time to read and play solitaire...etc...LOL....yesterday a lovely lady...who told me she was 82...decided to tell me her life story....she hasn't eaten anything other than ensure for months...she is losing weight quickly...and they are starting tests for cancer next week.....she is such a sweetheart and really needed to chat...I'm glad I was there and gave her someone to talk to ( basically I didn't say much other than to nod).....but I will say...she was dressed beautifully, she  stood in front of me chatting for over an hour......she teared up when she told me about her ex husband dying 3 years ago..( they had divorced but stayed friends)...she told me about making peace with a mouthy daughter inlaw on mothers day because her pastor told her too......and that someone had stolen her debit card and credit card.I suspect her daughter in law...but would never tell her that...so she had to cancel them that morning......Such a sweet, lonely lady....she may very well have cancer, she doesn't want to eat, she is very thin and living on ensure.......and there I sat....wanting to eat everything....and weighing twice what I should ,she was there for some relaxation massage......I can't get her out of my thoughts today.

Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/15/2018:
I meant this type of salad:


bearcountrygg on 05/15/2018:
I have never seen fresh seaweed here at all...even in the bigger cities like Detroit or Flint....in fact the dry shelf stable ones are even hard to find....But it does look like lettuce....NYC is very different to shop in than the Midwest. I loved shopping in Manhattan when we were there...but we did have to go to several stores to get what we needed.....here...we just don't have little stores...basically we have big supermarkets or big box stores...where you get everything you need...even butcher shops are disappearing now.....we have zero ethnic stores within a 2 hour radius.

horn_of_plenty on 05/15/2018:
sorry to hear about that lady...she has lots that she has lost especially concerning her husband.

i wouldn't even compare yourself to her as you have very diff situations and she could have been your mother. it sounds like you said - she is very lonely with nobody to help her or sit with her anymore.

bearcountrygg on 05/15/2018:
She is lonely...I'm glad that she had the time to connect like that. I hope she isn't really sick..

horn_of_plenty on 05/15/2018:
i think it is bought dried - can be found on amazon or other sites, and you can actually make it yourself using all the ingredients and you probably soak the dried seaweed in water to start.

i used to soak it and eat it, plain....wow...the things i used to do! i'd eat it without flavoring, yuck now.!

bearcountrygg on 05/15/2018:
Oh...OK...I will check amazon out. Thanks!!!!

Donkey on 05/15/2018:
Wow, I can see why that lady and her story would haunt you today. "Haunt" might be too harsh, so I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say. I hope she's not sick. Sick is hard enough without being lonely too :-(

bearcountrygg on 05/15/2018:
I know...I'm sad for her.

bearcountrygg - Monday May 14, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 241.2

A busy day ahead......starting with D's physical Therapy.........then there are so many things to do...errands and getting things ready for spring/summer.......can't pick up flowers yet though...the threat of frost is still a THING!  

The next two weeks  will be crazy.......appts, Grandson coming for a visit from Wyoming...and a short memorial weekend trip to decorate graves that will be an overnighter ......so plenty to keep busy with.

I just let nature take its course and instantly fell into intuituve eating...3 meals a day........and my mood is so much better.  Glucose numbers are good....and I have plenty of energy...and as long as I eat some seaweed most days....thyroid is pretty steady.  Over the years I have become very in tune with the low bloodglucose  and low thyroid symptoms......and get quick results...with the foods that are needed.

My low glucose (blood sugar) symptoms = unsteady on feet, headaches, irritable, tired

Low thyroid symptoms = depth perception issues while reaching for things, thick tongue/stumbling over words, spacey mind, tired

Feeling hungry is no longer a reason for me to just eat........I think about what I want...if nothing comes to mind...I drink water...until I know what I want...then I have that....as in the past......the days foods may not be well rounded...but the second day so far has totally evened things out......i do find that I'm liking protein foods ...but then the next day I will crave veggies...so it's all fine......I should also say...that I'm eating small portions...and looking for the hunger to leave during the meal...( which I am working on eating much slower since it takes 20 minutes for food to reach the stomach).....D is still eating fast...and looked at me funny a couple of days ago and asked why I was still at the table...LOL....guess it's obvious that I'm making some healthier changes...LOL

All in all...this is the way things need to be for me.......I will tweek portions...and add more water....so that the scales move in the right direction as I go along.

Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

graindart on 05/14/2018:
My nightly giant salad takes me forever to eat. The wife and girls are done with their entire meal before I finish the giant bowl of mostly lettuce. Then I eat the remainder of my calories usually at an empty table by myself.

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
I understand...I think that is going to be the way it is here too....but that's OK.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2018:
i also get those annoying low sugar signals.

smart to eat for a longer time, when i eat slower, i get full. when i gulp food, i am not satisfied...and for me it's become a habit to unfortunately eat too fast!

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
I have inhaled food for many years.....I have often thought...in fact I mentioned it to D yesterday...that it took me an hour to make that dinner...and he was up from the table in less that 15 minutes.....LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2018:
Happy Mother's Day, BCGG! i like seaweed too...you can even make your own seaweed salad!!!!!! - if you buy the right type that works well in that form / and has a light taste. I believe they have some sugar, but, still a low calorie seaweed option.

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
I don't think I can buy your kind here...mine comes in a pkg of 2 servings...which is about 10 small squares.....5 squares a serving......I will have to look up some other types though...it's apparently going to be a life long thing for me.

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
Maybe you mean to just crumble it into my salad...? That would work!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2018:
That's a beautiful way to spend memorial day decorating graves...do you volunteer to do it for graves of veterans you don't know?

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
We do it for 12 family members....but that is a nice idea you have there.

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
I love sesame-flavored seaweed

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
that's what I have here right now...I like it too.

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
Also, I am starting over with the thing where I put all the meals i am going to eat tomorrow in a little cooler with frozen water bottles. It makes it easier to stay on track because I pack it according to my meal plan after I ate dinner and then when I'm hungry there are fewer opportunities to make a bad choice. Might help u 2!

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
Great idea!!!!

Donkey on 05/14/2018:
Great job! You know what works for you. But we don't always do what's good for us, and I'm the first one to admit that! :-)

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
When it comes right down to it......this is just so easy...I fell right back into it without even thinking about it....that's the best for me...the easy thing...LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2018:
i was referring to another type of seaweed usually a mix of greens and also clear looking seaweed...different type than the squares!

bearcountrygg on 05/15/2018:
Nope...we don't have that here.

bearcountrygg - Sunday May 13, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 241.2


I'm happy with my new ways........food now feels like it's under control....I'm just naturally doing the intuitive eating...and I'm feeling really good.  Not actually eating much at all...or for that point...not even thinking about food much...even though I was moving it around the house....I'm finding some things that were expiring...so they went to the kitchen for the first new week.

Basically I'm eating 3 small meals a day...not interested in snacking at all.  Scales were great today and are basically proving to me that I'm on the track that suits me best.  It just occurred to me that maybe that is why the OLD WW worked well for me when I went to meetings...and all food was basically points.......I was was doing intuitive eating then too...and the forced weigh ins kept my quantities down....

Anyway...for me...waiting until hunger hits...then thinking about what I want....then eating just that...and while eating slowly....determining how hungry or not hungry I am...just suits me.  D is very understanding......we are sometimes eating different things...or not even eating at the same time...luckily he takes it in stride.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can say...like Gains...that all of the food is gone and we are replacing it every few days.

 Right now I'm noticing that I'm going for proteins......I'm sure that will shift...because after a protein breakfast......I'm not hungry...but...I can already see green beans on the menu for today later.....don't want them now.....but they are definately on my mind for later.  

This suits me...and the scales moved down...so I think this is my best life plan.

EDIT.....food getting organized in walk in closet is going really well......it's actually a good thing for me to see what we have....and what needs to be used sooner.  There really is a lot of healthy stuff here...and that makes me happy...of course there is plenty that doesn't work well for weight loss too....so it will be incorporated slower.....but there is actually less than I thought there was.  I have found some things that I thought we were out of...so no need to be buying anymore of those too....it's all just a good thing to be doing.....I''m looking forward to getting this closet emptied eventually.

I've been busy this morning...and I have lots of energy so I'm sure I'm on the right track.  I've also noticed a couple of my main hashimotos symptoms recently.....( I've been knocking things over with my hands and arms a lot lately....reaching for things and misjudging where they are....and also just tiredness)...but today it seems to have passed...thankfully...no awkwardness....no bumping into things....I'm happy that that has passed.....there is nothing like walking like a drunken sailor...knocking things over and  then bumbling away.....I need to eat more of the seaweed...that makes a huge difference in those symptoms...luckily...we have plenty...it needs to be a staple food in my diet. Iodine is so important for that...and seaweed is the best source of that.  




Progress as of today: 11.6 lbs lost so far, only 96.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 05/13/2018:
Thank you - and Happy Mother's Day to you too!!!

You'll be quite pleased how everything falls into place once you have the food part centered. I know that if I'm missing one part of the equation -- for me, it's usually water -- the rest of it doesn't work as well for results.

I seldom eat with my family any more except for dinner. That's probably why the drinking-water habit has been so important to me. During the day, we have different schedules and different hunger cues, so we just eat breakfast/lunch whenever. Sometimes I'll try to coordinate it with one or all of the other members, but more often than not, we're on our own, which works for us. Except for dinner; that's pretty much a rule. Even if you're not eating, you gotta sit at the table with us.

Keep it up - you KNOW what works for you. You can do this!

bearcountrygg on 05/13/2018:
I think we have both figured out what we need....we have to do what works for us.......success is whatever accomplishes what we want to achieve......

graindart on 05/13/2018:
I like the feeling of being in-control and organized. There are several facets of my life that are "messy" or out of my control. So I enjoy that the food intake portion of my life has become much more controlled / organized over the past year. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Weekdays I work during the day and the wife / kids are off at school (wife works as teacher's aid). So Mon-Fri we eat together nightly for dinner. The weekends tend to follow the same pattern with everyone eating together for dinner. Occasionally we'll eat lunch together on the weekend. That's about to change in another month when they're out of school for the summer, which will probably tempt me more to want to eat lunch since they're eating it.

bearcountrygg on 05/13/2018:
Kids snacking in the summer does make a lot more kitchen activity.....but do you work near the kitchen? Will they snack on things that you currently eat? Your new 4 week plan of possibly eating during the day will possibly be a way to handle that. At least the kids are big enough to fix their own snacks...that should help.

graindart on 05/13/2018:
I work from a home office, so pass by the kitchen many times per day. It's not a big issue when I'm here alone as the food is mostly out-of-sight in the fridge / cabinets. The temptations come on stronger when I hear / see / smell food being eaten by others. It tends to make me feel more "deprived". The girls take care of their own lunch / breakfast prep, so that's not an issue. Maybe I can avoid the temptation by wearing a clothes-pin on my nose and horse blinders on my face throughout the day.

happy-1 on 05/13/2018:
What about an iodine supplement?

bearcountrygg on 05/13/2018:
My Mom was allergic to iodine so I have been afraid to try it...but 1 serving of seaweed seems to work perfectly so I just use that.....I used to take levoxyl...but went totally prescription free about 16 years ago......or so.......

bearcountrygg - Saturday May 12, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 243.2

Thank you to everyone for all of the wonderful advise...I have learned a lot reading all of your comments....talking things out and AHA moments have brought a lot of things to light for me.......and I am doing a lot of changing things here this weekend.

1.  ALL food that is shelf stable will only be in the walk in closet......and only enough for a week with be in the kitchen...I will be shopping  from the closet once a week until it is all gone.   

2.  I am putting myself on a daily schedule....I miss a scheduled life...I thrived on it for many years....retirement has become too laid back....and I lack motivation.  

3.  I will use up ALL freezer/ref food and replace only when all is gone......then there will be stronger rules for what it will be replaced with........sugar and carbs are not good for D's diabetes...and I need to honor that in future shopping........it never will be zero carb/sugar....but it will be less.

4.  I seem to have food all over this house.....Kitchen,Garage, basement, bedroom, den, even in a living room cabinet.......................that stops today.

5.  I will shop with a list and buy only what is on the list.....I will not buy food online.  

6.  I know that when  I count calories or points...or even record what I eat....I eat more....when I make it a point to just eat when I'm hungry and only eat what I want...I eat a lot less......yesterday...not keeping track of anything...I can look back and see that I ate 3 very small meals......and I gave little thought to food in general.........over the years...this explains why when I am actively dieting...I have often stalled...or sometimes put weight on...the only times I actually lost were with WW...and I went to meetings for weigh ins....doing Ww at home never worked. And what I lost here...over months...I quickly put back on with D's medical issues........

7.  I'm going to do everything differently.....starting today.

Progress as of today: 9.6 lbs lost so far, only 98.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 05/12/2018:
What I love about #1 is that you're "shopping" from yourself. THIS is a wonderful idea! And it makes the situation very black-and-white. You eat from the kitchen, not from a closet (or garage, basement, etc.). Very good to set boundaries!

I like your remaining numbers as well :-) Remember that it takes time to establish new habits, and so be patient with yourself as you find what works and what doesn't.

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2018:
That will force me to preplan meals....and use some older things up....no more adding to the stash...when we already have too much. Actually I'm looking forward to clearing things out.....no more ignoring perishable stuff to grab a can of something...and then tossing the perishables out of laziness either...LOL

graindart on 05/12/2018:
A couple years ago we started eating through our deep freeze. We'd thaw something every day or two and just worked through it over the course of a couple months and made sure not to buy anything that replenished it at all. When we finally ate the last thing, we unplugged it, cleaned it, and let it sit. After a couple months of not using it, we sold it on Craigslist. It was a mainstay of our house for years, but now I don't miss it at all. We don't miss it's quiet hum, have repurposed the wasted space it took up, and don't have to throw things out every couple years which saves additional money on groceries & electricity.

Glad to see you've got a plan going forward.

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2018:
We are going to empty ours as well....we will keep it though...it is needed around here for the rough winters.....since I stopped Schwans...we will need to be able to store meat for the winter....but I really don't like those surprise OLD things we sometimes find in the back...that have freezer burn....LOL

Maria7 on 05/12/2018:
Hope you are having a good day and your Hubby continuing to improve.

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2018:
He is doing wonderfully....no cane at all now...and doing lots of walking.

happy-1 on 05/13/2018:
Maybe also think about making a meal plan, and putting dry goods together in trays as kits for dinner so you can pull out for a meal super easy?

bearcountrygg on 05/13/2018:
Bagging things together is a good idea

bearcountrygg - Friday May 11, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 243.2

I'm finding myself just mindlessly eating...and while I am aware of it at the time...I'm not thinking about the after affects.............it seems like I'm more concerned about making food dissappear then I am about losing weight........I'm thinking that my only way of life where I lose weight...is when there literally is no food in the house...because I rarely drive for food.....I would sooner not eat at all.... .....Maybe this food prepping is more about having food to gorge on when the mood strikes...then actual prepping for something else.  This need to make food dissappear has been with me for many many years........I would sooner eat something I hate just to use it up than to throw it in the garbage.......what the heck kind of eating disorder is this?????  I have only ever heard of 1 other person with this same problem...and she has been on and off ww for years....the last I heard she was following ww.....( I should go check how that is going for her)......After spending a miserable night.....I have today to try to eat consciously.....I have no idea how I can just go eat cookies until the box is empty...and then go eat half of a package on a new pkg...and then grab 2 mini bags of potato sticks...and think that it was alright...sit down...and mindlessly eat them...and wonder why I have a stomach ache.........just realized..the box of potato sticks is almost empty...I MUST empty that box...I'm onto something here.

Just went and checked out person with the same affliction....she  struggles with low blood sugar regularly too.....I see that she has been trying to get below 200 pounds for 13 years.UGH! Suddenly stopped posting 2 days ago.....she does that when she backslides.

I'm wondering if I have to literally lock up all food around here.  

I'm wondering about hypnosis.

I'm wondering about a total lobotomy!!!!!!!

Well...I just googled it...I'm not the only one...and no one else knows what to do about it either...................

I do recogonise that I have spoken about this same issue in the past...and then went right back to counting calories...as if calories are my weight issue.....Today...I'm accepting that I have a much deeper issue....which has more to do with perfectionism...not body perfectionism...or dieting or exercise perfectionism...but perfectionism of the house...even deeper...perfectionism of the refrigerator and closets/cabinets....I want them to look perfect at all times.....I want to open the fridge..or the cupbboards and have them exactly right...so  I eat whatever is out of place...or whatever pkg is open...or whatever leftovers there are because they do not fit my idea of perfectionism.  I'm putting my kitchen cabinets/ref...ahead of my own life and health......when I have a pkg that is open...it must be used up...there is a deeper problem with me that has nothing to do with weight....and counting calories......I need to figure out how best to deal with it,  As far as my past....I had poor grandparents...who struggled...I had parents who were a product of that upbringing...and while they could afford nice things...they saved and scrimped.....on food...but spent at casinos........as a  child....these things made an impact....they were obsessed with their yard because others saw it...but then went in and ate boiled potatoes......food was something other than just food...it was something to worry about...something to buy as cheaply as humanly possible...and we lived on boiled potatoes, fried lunch meat and eggs.....I basically was not interested in eating.  I left home and shopped very normally for the rest of the next 30 years or so...then when 1999  hit and the threat of 2000 and food shortages happened ( which never occurred)...it started a food hoarding situation...that has never stopped.  My issues are not about dieting...my issues are about something that needs to be dealt with in some other way......

Having things here in abundance is not a good thing for me....accepting the idea that it  is okay...to run out of things because I can go get more as needed has to be my new mantra.  I have been so busy stocking up for the last 19 years it has all gotten out of hand........today...and possibly tomorrow too...I will be putting things out of sight...I will be taking things out of the kitchen and putting them in the food closet...there are also other places in cabbinets etc...in the den..that contain food.....not necessary...it will all go into the food closet.......out of sight will be better...food has taken over this house in a way that is not healthy.  Well stocked "things" will be a thing of the past......it has even spilled over to kleenex, TP, dish soap, laundry soap, otc meds....all in ridiculous abundance.......it's all going into the closet...to be taken out only by necessity..and that is where it will all live now.  I've decided not to count calories for now...or list what I eat.....I am taking the pressure off dieting for now...and will just see what happens....I will be here daily...but just in a different way.  I did stop shopping at Boxed, Amazon and jet for household supplies and food recently...and we also stopped Schwans...because the freezer was constantly packed.......so....getting the shelf stable things out of sight and using the freezer and ref. things up will be the next step...right now I can see why I'm frustrated with the freezer and ref/freezer....they are all packed to the point I can't even see what is in there...............Food/shopping had become way more important than it has deserved to be.......I'm looking forward to stopping the concern about it....


Progress as of today: 9.6 lbs lost so far, only 98.2 lbs to go!

graindart on 05/11/2018:
I don't think I have an obsession about it, but I do hate throwing food away now. If we have a half-eaten item, I'm always trying to incorporate it into the next meal so that it's used up. This morning was a breakfast scramble for the girls. It consisted of the last 1 egg, last of the mushrooms, bit of bacon, cheese, and leftover spaghetti squash. Used the last of 3 items all at once. Don't know how well the girls appreciated the squash in it, but I accomplished my goal......

We used to have a large deep freezer, full pantry, and fully stocked fridge. A year or two ago we got rid of the freezer, ate through the pantry, ate through the fridge & attached freezer. Now we try to shop for groceries on Sunday night and only buy exactly what we need to make it through the week. In fact we try to only buy for 5 days worth, because there always seems to be leftovers or something else that comes up.

We don't buy any cookies, candy, or anything like that to bring into the house. Without it in the house, I have to go out of my way to fall off the wagon. The wife and girls still get some candy and other stuff from school, church, etc. And I occasionally buy them a treat here and there. Candy bar for the wife on occasion that I know she likes. Or after my first softball game, I took them through the DQ drive through even though I wasn't getting anything for myself.

For me, the temptation just needs to stay out of the house for me to be successful.

bearcountrygg on 05/11/2018:
I agree totally......if it isn't here..I don't go out for it. I have to stop shopping to keep things available...( we are in a remote area that causes problems in the winter...but I have to carry through with this anyway. Ordering online has taken over in a bad way...cases of things are not a good thing.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2018:
I admit to having an overeating disorder. I eat to the point of relaxation and it def changes my body...when i overeat after work for instance, it numbs my thinking. it's very hard to change.

Maria on her says she has prayer involved.

I was thinking to try to meditate...

With meals, you may want to plan what you are having the day before instead of waiting till you are hungry to think of eat.

i was reading something about willpower and when it's down, it's hard to make the right choices. so you have to make the choices before your willpower is down! this is big for me...like when i'm eating at home, my choices change bc there's more options around...i have to somehow not change so much or give into eating more just bc i am home....and maybe go back to drinking low cal things right away when i'm done eating a portion so that the calorie consuming ends.

would this work for you? eat a set amount, but continue to drink afterwards? but have that drink ready!! or you'll just continue eating....this is me, anyways.

habits are hard to break...

bearcountrygg on 05/11/2018:
Habits are so very hard to break..we do have to do what works for us....already today....I'm not counting and not writing down...and already I have eaten and desired less in total...I don't dare count now...because it does encourage me to eat more...weird I know.....and last night it was definitely about using up food...and then I actually opened another pkg ...makes me wonder if it was just bait...for giving myself today the ok to finish that off......so many odd clues here for me....I'm my own worst enemy...but I am drinking more zero cal today too...

Horn_of_plenty on 05/11/2018:
my plan is to buy the zero cal drinks, all types, again and force myself to stop eating after a planned amount and just drink the drinks...should work especially if they haave some caffeine like after lunch on weekend or today for instance..

bearcountrygg on 05/11/2018:
I've been doing that too.

Donkey on 05/11/2018:
It seems as though there's an issue there. I can sort of relate because I grew up very poor, or with the impression that we were very poor. I'm a scrimp and saver. Don't like to throw out food. And now that I'm a recycler, I don't like to throw out anything either. I think all of this plays on OCD tendencies. So quite a few things spoke to me. I'll just comment them in no particular order of importance:

To stop mindless eating, try putting your food (cookies, nuts, bars, etc.) on a plate or a bowl. When the bowl is empty, you would have to make a conscious effort to refill. It might not stop you from refilling, but at least you'd have the opportunity to make the CHOICE.

While I'm with GAINS about not having it in the house, I feel that your living situation is unique because of where you live. It sounds like you can't just say, "Oh, I'm out of (whatever), let me run down to the Wal-Mart to pick up some." My folks lived in the woods of Wisconsin, where any errand was a drive. So I get your need to stockpile -- at least in the winter.

I'm at the point where "out of sight, out of mind" works 99% of the time. If I can keep it where it's hard to get at, or I can't see it, I've won most of the battle right there. Yes, sometimes I have my moments of weakness (see my entry regarding sneaky eating and the guilt that I felt as a result), but most times I'm successful with it.

Do you find that you are eating mindlessly out of anxiety or boredom, i.e. nothing to do, lack of structure to your day, etc.? I've found in myself that this is when I am most vulnerable, which is why I always try to have a few tasks to do during the day, even if it's a scheduled TV show, or an hour to read.

I would recommend attacking this in 2 ways: behaviorally (counting calories, etc.) and emotionally (prayer, meditation, writing, listening, talking it out)... Oh this reminds me - I wanted to tell you that I'm going to check out your YouTube lady over the weekend, now that I will have the time to do so, to give it my proper attention.

Anyway, just my 2-cent insights, LOL.

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2018:
Totally agree with the OCD tendencies...I know there are some within me..... Going to Walmart involves 2 hours on the road....but it's do-able...just so inconvenient.... Yup...this weekend it will all be out of sight....and I will shop every few days from the closet....I'm glad you brought up lack of structure...because I am very guilty of that.....no wonder I loved working...I was the most scheduled person around because I also was going to college at the same time...and had kids in grade school.....I went from ultra scheduled to being a total slug...I need to put myself on a schedule...I am a much better person on a schedule....( I'm seeing that I apparently like extremes here...interesting observations)...I'm so glad...thank you for noticing that!!!!!! I love this place....I have learned so much about myself here!!!!Thanks DONKEY...you hit the nail on the head.

happy-1 on 05/11/2018:
Honestly it sounds more like you are so worried about D, this is just how you are going to go crazy for a little while. Priorities go with it.

I've visited family in areas where they had to stockpile... what I don't understand is the cash outlay. My "aunt" had to figure out the cost of gas as part of the grocery budget... and we were limited to only basics because the truck only held so much, and we were only getting stuff that couldn't be bought cheaper in bulk with neighbors splitting it up. Plus we had to store everything in seal tight pails or metal bins. There was no money for anything that took up space or gas or wasn't the same price as it would have cost to make. Most of the space was reserved for bulk buys of wood pellets. Only 1 person could go with my aunt on each trip and it was a huge reward to go.

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2018:
Unfortunately I discovered BOXED.COM...they deliver...it was way too easy!!! Then there was JET.COM...and Amazon.....That is truly when it got out of hand....it was just too easy.

happy-1 on 05/11/2018:
Like it must be so expensive to do so many trips to buy pre-packaged items... and then so expensive to eat off plan and increase health bills... and like... looking at my spending patterns I'm spending so much on food because I feel like it's the only place I'm allowed to spend and now I get why in DA they want us to make a spending plan and put something into each category... it's about avoiding deprivation and maintaining balance

bearcountrygg on 05/12/2018:
We just don't have many expenses these days...that comes with old age.......got rid of the expensive house.....living in one half the size now.....we are just at the stage of life where we have had it all...and done it all...and we are just basically coasting along.....we are relaxed...probably too relaxed....just basically doing what we want...instead of what we have to do.....we have had the high pressure, living on the edge life...and now it was supposed to be our time to just kick back...but I have to say...I miss the high intensity city life.....living in the forest is calming and beautiful...but it is also a big bore......I lost a lot of motivation making this move.

bearcountrygg - Thursday May 10, 2018
(Walking the fine line between happiness and health)
Weight: 243.2

Downpour all night long and we slept like logs.......love to hear rain beating on the metal roof.  D's PT appt is at 12:30 today...so that kind of breaks the day in half.......... and the air conditioning got turned on last night...spring is finally here.......

Meal # 1 

1 egg fried in PAM = 77

1 slice 15 grain bread toasted, plain = 130

coffee = 9


Meal #2

bagel toasted = 370

almond butter 1T = 95


Meal # 3

After D's PT we came home hungry....so made do with leftovers because they were fast....both of us had belly aches today......we need naps...LOL

1 1/2 brats = 350

wheat bun = 100

1 cup chili = 220

peas = 90

5 skinny fries = 62



calories so far today = 1,503

I have found a very interesting lady on you tube.....for me...she is vey inspirational.....and she walks the walk........Her videos are not about weight loss...or exercise...they are about self control and focusing on what you want out of life and then doing what needs to be done to achieve that.  She is an inspirational speaker...and was a teen mom who racked up a lot of debt...mostly on her education...and now she is working on paying off that debt...on an income of under $20,000 a year working part time.  She lives on $50 worth of groceries per month...and basically eats,rice, beans , vegetables  oatmeal and popcorn.....she says she is not losing weight ( she doesn't need to).....because she is eating enough calories........but her self control is about paying off her debt.  Her determination to get what she wants out of life is what i watch her videos for.  Her name is Stacey Flowers....and I think if anyone here is looking for a model about self control...she is worth looking at.

Las night I got hungry in the evening...and never gave it one thought...I headed for cookies and potato sticks.....I have no clue why it never once crossed my mind that I was stuffing myself.......it just didn;t register.......I also realized  during the night that my 3rd meal was huge.......I can say that I spend much of the night feeling like food was just laying in my stomach...and not digesting.......I'm quite unhappy with myself that I can actually eat...without even acknowlwging it to myself at the time.....after this long...how does this happen?


Progress as of today: 9.6 lbs lost so far, only 98.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/10/2018:
i'll take a look at her videos, she surely does sound inspirational....

happy spring and having an appointment later in the day or later in morning is my type of thing to so at least i do not have to rush out the door to it...i'm not a rush type of person, lol, at least compared to these NYers...they are so fast...i feel like i've been living under a log for many years comparatively speaking to how i act and my pace compared to theirs!

bearcountrygg on 05/10/2018:
She is well spoken...and totally on point with her determination. I think you will enjoy her videos.

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