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bearcountrygg - Sunday Sep 22, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

It's a rainy last day of summer here today.......almost 9 and I'm still not hungry...had a cup of coffee with zero cal caramel......but no hunger equals no eating...and nothing sounds good so there is that.  Just doing little odds and ends around here today....oddly...I woke up having a dream that was the actual continuation of a dream I had several months ago....the first dream a while back was about some guy ( salesman?) coming to the house to give us an estimate for an addition and he also mentioned that he did tattoos....I told him NO TATTOOS......just house addition......well...in last nights dream...he showed up with another guy to do what I thought was working on the addition...but instead he gave me  a shot in the arm????? and he showed me the tattoo I was going to get...I told them NO TATTOOS.......they sat there smiling...and surprised that I was not getting the tattoo...well...believe me when i say that I was very happy to wake up and get the heck out of that dream! 


grannyannie on 09/22/2019:
Strange! I have no tattoos and no desire for any. Wouldn't mind getting a conservatory though. :D

BearCountryGG on 09/22/2019:
I know...and I remember both dreams in detail.....so weird.....LOL....I'm wondering if this came up again because we have actually been looking at some very large acreage parcels around here....we never thought we would tackle a move again unless it was bcause we needed to be taken care of...and in that case we would move back down state again near our oldest son.....but we have been getting a bit irritated with all of the racin motorcycles and quad runners up and down our road...and the wifi has been undependable.....and well...we may very well stay here...we are also considering a place further back from the road...so that may explain the construction part ( we had a construction business and D was a carpenter but too old to deal with that anymore and 4 yrs ago when we added onto this place we had a very hard time finding anyone to do the work up here...electricians and plumbers are rare here too......so that might explain the guys arriving to do the construction and really wanting to do a tattoo...LOL...the mind..( mine at least) works in mysterious ways...LOL

Donkey on 09/22/2019:
It is rainy here today as well. Supposed to rain all day, although it is not currently raining. Everything is wet; the tree line in the backyard is saturated.

Your dream made me smile. Both are quite painful to go through!

I understand what you are saying though. Where my folks used to live, in the middle of Wisconsin, was quite secluded up until the last 5 years (?) they were there? I drove up there, and I saw they had plans for a subdivision - disgusting!

BearCountryGG on 09/22/2019:
What used to be peaceful just isn't anymore. There just seem to be more people acting like they have no respect for others around here anyway......they just come up here...throw their trash everywhere, rip up the roads and then disappear. Subdivisions were popping up all over where we used to live....so far...not here but there is several acres behind us that anything could happen with..here it is often oil wells that appear...and actually that could happen on our 4 acres because we don't have the mineral rights currently ( looks like it might be 4 more years before we can get them)...when we bought and built this place 14 or 15 years ago...it was just going to be a hunting camp...with a simple 800 square foot house on it....eventually we bought the 2 acres next door to add to it that had a small pole building on it....and that actually has an access for oil rigs...so if the current mineral rights owner wants to,....he could actually allow them to put a well here...we decided to add on to the house and the barn....and here we are 4 years later....wondwring if we dare to start the whole process over again in a new location.

grannyannie on 09/22/2019:
I have lots of weird dreams as well!!

We will not move unless we need to be taken care of in a nursing home! Our location is ideal. Peaceful, pretty, no crime, yet not that far into the city or airport (1 1/2 hrs). Behind us is Forestry Dept owned forest, in front is a sea loch.

BearCountryGG on 09/22/2019:
Sounds beautiful where you are...it also describes a lot of whahere we live.....but we are a resort town ( because of the Ausable river)...and the people come....and act like fools while they are here...and it ruins it for those of us that live here......I suspect that if we didn't have that river that for months on end has events, river rafting, canoeing etc....it would be so much more peaceful.

bearcountrygg - Saturday Sep 21, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Got up this morning ready to kick into working harder mode.  Getting up at 4 is kind of irritating but laying around in bed doesn't lead to falling back to sleep most days...so i've decided just to go with it and be more productive.  It will hit me in a couple of hours....but i've decided not to give into it today and push on........I create new habits so fast.......hopefully I can break those habits as quickly. 

Chilly here...and the trees are turning...lots of reds this year.....not anywhere near the peak of color but definately fall.  The days are a lot shorter.  I'm determined to make this next year super productive.....so I'm tweaking routines...and what I eat........I want more...more weight loss and more organization..........it seems like I have just been treading water with the weight............i need to move some clothes along to the donate bag.......so...doubling down and getting this done once and for all.  I will say I'm feeling great...so....on with this!

Sleepy already at 7.....not giving into it....started laundry.......breaking this bad habit today..waking up too early will not ever stop if i continue with the napping.......keeping busy so it will pass.

Funny food cravings here today...cinnamon raisin bread toasted, butter, peanut butter, nectarine and banana, coffee

grannyannie on 09/21/2019:
Great attitude! Have a very productive day!

BearCountryGG on 09/21/2019:
So far so good.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2019:
i agree, easy to make a new poor habit, easy then breaking it! ;)

have a productive day!!!

BearCountryGG on 09/21/2019:
Fought the urge to go back to bed and it passed!!

Donkey on 09/21/2019:
I'm rather envious that you can wake up naturally at 4am. I always seem to have such difficulty getting my body out of bed, even if I'm awake. I often lie there for extended periods of time, in half-sleep, trying to evaluate whether I should get up or not.

My husband, as he's retired now, gets up early, but usually takes a nap around 1pm. Could this work for you?

The leaves have *just* started to turn colors here. Many of the trees are still green. This in spite of the "summer" weather we've had here for the past 2 weeks.

BearCountryGG on 09/21/2019:
Retirement does make it easy to nap when ever.....but I was always an early riser....probably because we always had to get up at 4:30 when we worked.....I had hoped with retirement that would stop....but nope...we are still early risers.

bearcountrygg - Friday Sep 20, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Beautiful day here..........had coffee for breakfast and chicken and cheese on pita, and mac and cheese and cake for lunch........later will probably be chili....I'm really liking the seltzer waters and i think spindrift is my favorite so far...it has 17 calories......which is negligable...so drinking one of those.  Been on the phone for the last 2 days...and haven't gotten much done around here......did go online and order the 23andme heritage/health kits today.....something we have been talking about for years....D's sister and her husband did them and were really happy with the results........so i'm hoping D will actually do his....but if not...oldest son said he would...so I ordered 2. 

Right up until midnight I was 69........and I held onto that ....fell asleep and woke up at 1:05 A.M. and had to accept the truth......I want to make this a year of accomplishments.......and make something positive out of it.  Son T and I talked for hours this morning on the phone....he thinks it's a milestone....( NOT SO SURE THAT IS THE KIND OF MILESTONE I WANT>>>LOL)....But we had a lot of laughs....and truly...today feels no different than yesterday......

grannyannie on 09/20/2019:
I've done the DNA tests and so have my aunt, sister and one brother. Interesting!

I use decade birthdays as motivation for getting fit and a healthy weight. Just after my 40th I did it, did it before 50 and 60, all with good results. I'll use 70 for extra motivation - 2 years and 5 months away.

70 is still young!

BearCountryGG on 09/20/2019:
I have to admit...i feel the same as yesterday...I'm ready to work harder !!!!

bearcountrygg - Thursday Sep 19, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Up early....and not at all hungry...will start with coffee and wait........today is my first walmart grocery pick up.......funny how this makes me a bit nervous......D added some things to the shopping list last night...40 pound bag of birdseed...a cooler...lol...Hope there is room in my Equinox for all this...LOL.....apparently they will send me an email...and Then I respond with their app when I'm heading in their direction.........?????  Are they tracking me at that time...what do people without I phones do?  Can they do grocery pick up?  Questions...questions...already started a load of laundry at 5:30 A.M.........Apparently I'm not the only one with grocery pick up anxiety...LOL...there are a number of you tube videos about it...LOL....And a whole lot of you tube videos about how they love it......so....today is my maiden voyage...LOL...I think this is a great way to avoid impulse buys...and makes it a lot easier to know what I'm spending because it keeps a running total....plus...flu season has started...and I will never get another flu shot unless someone hog ties me and forces it on me...my Mom died a few hours after getting hers....so this will keep me away from some extra germs....this winter....and weirdly...I got a notice last night that Michiganders should stay inside to avoid some mosquito illness that is killing people,,,,good luck with that one...

Back from the walmark pickup....and it went well........super nice people...very quick and efficient...will definately be making this a part of my regular shopping.....

Ended up eating 2 pop tarts in the car at 11......and will have chicken for lunch along with mixed berries.

grannyannie on 09/19/2019:
Mosquito illness in Michigan? I'll have to check that out - my family is all there. Hope it's not Dengue Fever.

It's pretty much impossible to manage without a mobile phone over here and I'm sure it is the same in the US now.

BearCountryGG on 09/19/2019:
Agree with the phone...I feel naked without mine. And yes to EEE...people are dying in michigan of it..3 now as of yesterday...

grannyannie on 09/19/2019:
Yikes! Just checked on the mosquito disease and it's EEE which is much worse than Dengue Fever.

BearCountryGG on 09/19/2019:
Yup.....but they are never going to get people to stay inside....people have to work etc......I'm sure it will get worse!

grannyannie on 09/19/2019:
I know Deet is not good for you, but it's better than getting a disease from mozzies. We use it in Thailand - no malaria where we stay, but there is dengue fever there.

BearCountryGG on 09/19/2019:
We have deet.....boy...the insectisides scare me too...my Dad died of multiple myeloma which they think was caused by insecticides or herbicides....but do not want to get sick for sure.

legcramps on 09/19/2019:
Oh boy, that mosquito disease does not sound good at all! Please stay safe!

BearCountryGG on 09/19/2019:
I see it's showing up in Rhode island and massachussetts too.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/19/2019:
glad to hear you have been so productive today!

Donkey on 09/20/2019:
I completely agree with you on the fly shot. I truly feel that it has to be a personal decision. I don't get them, but my mom and my husband do.

I'm pleased that your Walmart experience was positive. I will have to tell me daughter. Oh, I guess I'll have to try it out eventually, too. I'm going to try to find some of the YouTube videos you mentioned, lol. #WeekendGoals (lol)

BearCountryGG on 09/20/2019:
I kind of miss the walking around exercise....but wow was it fast and easy and the people were so nice and efficient. It makes it so much easier to avoid impulse purchases...and would really help stay in budget.....i ordered simple things this first time...but the next time...it will be a full shopping trip...and will include meat the net time and some frozen things....

grannyannie on 09/20/2019:
I always get a flu injection every year. It's free at the doctors office when you are 65+. I used to pay a small fee before then.

BearCountryGG on 09/20/2019:
I got them when i worked in a drs office...then stopped them...and started again for 7 years because I had to take my Mom and I didn't want toget sick and pass it to her..( although i did get pneumonia once for 5 weeks)...but I wore a mask around her and left as quickly as i could....but I don't think I have ever gotten the actual flu...pneumonia is my issue more often and the pneumonia shot isn't for the kind I get. But after her death...i won't get it anymore...they do charge here although this year i'm seeing free shot signs...one in our town...but no..not for me.

innerpeace on 09/20/2019:
I haven't gotten a flu shot in five years. The last time i couldn't raise my arm over my head for five months afterwards. I think I was shot in a nerve or something. After getting the shot I had a big knot rise up (size of a ping pong ball), I would rub it and massage it thinking it was the actual serum or something. After it went down I couldn't raise my arm or sleep on it, it was so very sore. After that, I haven't had another...I haven't had the flu either...well yet.

BearCountryGG on 09/20/2019:
I don't blame you...sounds like a reaction for sure....my Mom died about 19 hours later......so I won't chance it anymore.

bearcountrygg - Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Just doing a whole house sweep of neatening today...and cleaning the litter boxes...maybe a bathroom swipe......bath and hair washing........loading the garbage can and putting that by the door...........kind of low key...........breakfast was coffee and toast..................jut enough to keep me busy around here.  Need to figure dinner out for D.....I think I want some leftovers.  I used to order from shutterrfly for printed photos...and it has been a long time....and it's been kind of hanging over my head...because there were so many to order in there...so finially bit the bullet last night and ordered 1 of  almost every pic.........boy has that place changed...they used to be so resonably priced......each pic was only between 9 cents and 16 cents each....but the shipping was rediculous...like $40....so once they arrive...I am shutting that account down.....and be happy to do it.

grannyannie on 09/18/2019:
Busy girl! I've used Shutterfly before but used somewhere else last time. Can't remember who. $40 for shipping is outrageous.

BearCountryGG on 09/18/2019:
They pull you in now with the low per pic price and gouge you on shipping...there is NO WAY in the world that those 2 packs of photos cost $40.00 to ship....Done with them...they are pout of touch now!!

BearCountryGG on 09/18/2019:
LOL...not POUT of touch...OUT of touch...although pout may be more accurate...LOL

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/18/2019:
wow that's high for shipping. maybe some of that they use for profit, and it's $40 so it seems low but then all of a sudden, the $40 at the end. hmmm. at least you got what you wanted out of it and can take a break after this.

BearCountryGG on 09/18/2019:
I can finally shut that sight down...although I see that I can't just close it...I will have to go and delete everything individually....that's for another day...after the pics arrive.

bearcountrygg - Tuesday Sep 17, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Quiet around here today...and feeling sleepy.....allergies are kicking up...but i'm used to that.....placed my first online order today for Walmart pick up...to be done on Thursday.....they recently started that....but the nearest store is 45 minutes away through some desolate forrest with nothing else for miles......so it may not be a winter option.......but i wanted to give it a try in the nice weather.  Other than being sleepy today...i'm feeling so good...no headaches or joint pain...intuitive eating has totally controlled my blood sugar....I do find that most of my cravings are for protein or grains.......but then all of a sudden I want fruits and veggies.....funny how that works.......but it has taken away any general pain that i have been having...no tylenol for days...when I had almost gotten into a daily dose.......the key aside from waiting until I definately KNOW what I want...then portion control HAS TO step in......and it works like a charm......I will admit...I'm eating some crazy things at crazy times....but apparently there is a reason for it.

grannyannie on 09/17/2019:
Glad you're feeling well. I know about allergies! Mine aren't seasonal - they are all the time.

BearCountryGG on 09/17/2019:
I have both...took the allergy shots for a long time until they started causing asthma attacks...since then...i just live with them....funny how they become such an accepted part of life though.

happy-1 on 09/17/2019:
I LOVE in store pickup at Sams Club. They also have it at Target. I'd commit a homicide without it.

BearCountryGG on 09/17/2019:
I think I'm going to use it a lot...especially for the heavy things like pails of kitty litter.....

happy-1 on 09/17/2019:
Sams club has home delivery for heavy stuff like kitty litter, bottled water, detergent, etc.

BearCountryGG on 09/17/2019:
Thats nice and handy...we don't have sams club or costco nearby...closet costco is 3 hrs away...but I used to love to shop there when we lived nearer the city.

Donkey on 09/18/2019:
I have yet to try some of these new services that Walmart has. I guess I'm old fashioned when it comes to shopping (among other things). I'm glad you tried it!

Portion control is everything, isn't it? *sigh*

BearCountryGG on 09/18/2019:
I was so excited for the nearest store to get grocery pick up...but then it kind of scared me....I order on the computer but I had to down;load their app to my phone and then I had to add my regular eamil to the phone and apparently they email me at my time and i respond to their app about when I will arrie....LOL.....I usually don't use my phone for much...i am such a baby about that...but I need to step out of my comfort zone and just do that...LOL

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/18/2019:
yep, always going back to portioning. sizes.

good job feeling better lately.

bearcountrygg - Monday Sep 16, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Looks like it will be a beautiful day here today....temps are perfect........and I'm still full of energy.......Since I began the great closet cleanouts...there are little explosions of things here and there all around the house.......today...those things will be finding new homes...some in other rooms...some go to the car to be donated the next time I go to town....hopefully today it will all come together and be done once and for all........

Will need to go get groceries sometime this week...but putting it off as long as possible.......unnecessary shopping is a bad habit....that has plagued me for several years..........getting a handle on that these days, and the bank account thanks me for that.....because everytime I go to the store...i buy things that are not needed........that fill up the house...and then I end up moving them out of the house.......I don't want to do that anymore....

Sipping my coffee....and waiting for a craving to show up......in the meantime.....I am loaded with energy......eating my cravings seems to lead me to what my body needs....not what my eyes want.  I'm having little to no pain these last few days and I'm amazed.  Advertising has such a huge impact on what we eat.....and I swear it has taken over our own natural instincts............

grannyannie on 09/16/2019:
I find that when I start doing deep cleaning and reorganising that I get inspired to keep going. I plan on starting soon including shampooing carpets.

I know what you mean about advertising tempting us to eat what we shouldn't.

bearcountrygg on 09/17/2019:
Once I really get into something it does keep me motivated to continue.....wish everything went this way,....LOL

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/16/2019:
YES, easy to buy unnecessary items at the store...

you sound very good lately! whatever you are doing, keep doing it!

bearcountrygg on 09/17/2019:
Feeling great and being productive...just feeling good does help with all kinds of motivation.

Maria7 on 09/16/2019:
Good to eat what one is hungry for instead of what we are 'told' we should eat daily, isn't it? We are never full if we continue to have cravings going on. Sounds like you are doing real well. Yes, staying out of the grocery stores as much as possible is a good idea, provided a person has a stash to last them a while of food and looks like now gas may be about to go up in price, too.

bearcountrygg on 09/17/2019:
It just works well.....in the past...I would sometimes eat what I thought I should and then ended up eating my cravings too.....LOL

bearcountrygg - Sunday Sep 15, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

If there is one thing that I've learned in life...it is to enjoy today...with an eye towards the future....because if today is my last day...I want to have enjoyed it...but if it is not my last day...I want to be able to live tomorrow as  if it is.  Nothing is ever going to be perfect. 

Jobs are a way to make money, money is necessary for life, jobs are done when you walk out of  their door, then your time begins, until it is time to walk back into that job door the next time.  Save some of that money and spend a little...so that you don't have to worry if an unexpected expense comes up...and it will....many times over your life....

People are a mixture of ones we like and ones we don't...Ones we think we understand and ones we definately know we don't.......spend our time with those we like...and and look right through the ones we don't as if they don't exist...life is too short wasting time on people that just don't click with us.......they may try to rile us...they may try to get our attention....but we are living OUR life...and we need to focus on living our life.  Be kind to all....but focus on what we want for our life....kindness  takes only a little time...so do that.....but focus on what we want for our life.

Life is like walking a tightrope.......keep our eyes on the prize...but balance where we are right now....

Focus on the things that bring you joy but save some joy for tomorrow too...just in case you are still here tomorrow.

Remember that we can never make another person truly happy....happiness is an inside job....if we enjoy helping another......then offer but offering does not guaranteee their happiness...it's just a suggestion and for them to accept or deny.......

Breathe.........relax.......feel the tenseness and let it go.......

JUST A REMINDER TO MYSELF TODAY....living a long life does point out to me what is important and what isn't.  Unfortunately it takes many years for the wisdom to set in...and then it's too late to use it for the most part...maybe that is why old people are quiet....and relaxed.....and observant.....they know from experience......that life will never be perfect.....and that there will always be a lot of distractions that really mean nothing in the whole scheme of things........we may be our past, we make choices, some good, some not so good....but EVERYTHING in life is a learning lesson...and if we are wise....we will take those lessons and create a life that we can love.........battle scars and all.........and find peace in what we have learned...and enjoy today...with an eye to the future.....in case we are given another day.

I have been referring to myself as old...for a few years......this coming week.....I cross an age line...that REALLY IS OLD!!!  To me...the number 70 is shocking and it seems almost impossible to fathom.....I remember back so long ago...yet is at the same time feels like the blink of an eye....life is funny like that.

I'm taking today to remind myself that a life well lived has value........wonderful things have happened in my life.....and sad and painful things have happened as well.....never perfect...but managed..  To me .....being human means being imperfect yet striving for peace and happiness....with a memory of what doesn't work and an eye to what did.  Moving on using what I have learned......and making the best of it.

It seems funny to me that while computers are things that are relatively new in society ( I remember my Dad talking about a compter at General Motors that took up a whole room)...now my phone is one....and yet...for all time...our brain is actually a computer...........memory, good sites, bad sites, dredging up info when needed, and shorting out when stressed........

Today.......as I look forward...with a squinted eye...to what awaits me this week.......I have to remind myself that what it all comes down to is living my best life, hoping tomorrow comes and doing no harm to anyone or myself...........it's time to sit back, relax, know that the little annoyances in life are just that...little things........and that I need to focus on pure happiness.




grannyannie on 09/15/2019:
Very wise thoughts. :)

BearCountryGG on 09/15/2019:
In a contemplative mood today...Hubby and I had some heavy converstaions today.

Donkey on 09/15/2019:
This really spoke to me, and I appreciate you sharing your wisdom & insight, as a person who is older than I am. That is to say, it's like you're a little ahead on the path and just reminding me of where we are in this journey.

I loved all of this post. I think the first 3 paragraphs spoke the strongest to me, as if you were sitting across from me at the kitchen table. But I also like what you spoke to yourself towards the end as well.

What you speak of here is where I want to go...

BearCountryGG on 09/15/2019:
Enjoy the trip through life Donkey....because in the end...you will look back on only a very few of the times...so much just is not remembered...because it really wasn't that important. Just have fun!

Donkey on 09/15/2019:
I love the quote you started out with, too! I think of that song by Carly Simon, "Anticipation" where she sings "These are the good old days!"

I am reminded by the movie "The Hours" where Meryl Streep's character laments words to the effect of: I thought that this (past period in her life) was the beginning of happiness. Little did I know that it actually WAS the happiest time we would have together.

Lately, I have been reminding myself to embrace these moments of happiness. This is it.

BearCountryGG on 09/15/2019:
Yes...enjoy yourself....It's easy to rush through things figuring the best is yet to come.....but...the things you remember as good times were so often the things we rush through.

Maria7 on 09/15/2019:
I cannot express how much your post today resonated with my spirit. You could have been a therapist, Linda. A lot of wisdom you have and thank you so much for sharing it with us. Today of all days, I sure did really need to read your entry. Thank you. Also, the picture you put on the top describes my day today. Smile! Love, Maria

BearCountryGG on 09/15/2019:
I'm happy it helped Maria......lots of conversation at my house today too.

Grannyannie on 09/16/2019:
My husband turned 70 last Nov and I think it's the first time he felt he wasn't middle aged any more. He's physically in better shape than many 40 year olds. I will be 68 in Feb and not quite sure how I will feel when 70 is around the corner. I joke that I am old but don't feel old.

BearCountryGG on 09/16/2019:
I totally understand Annie.....my head says I'm 18.....D says the same thing.....But it seems like daily...we are learning of a classmates death...or a celebrity that is in our generation...or as in the past 2 years...family members.....That seems to point it out to us even more.

Grannyannie on 09/16/2019:
To me, 80 is old and 70 is not. When I am 75 I'm sure that will change again.

BearCountryGG on 09/16/2019:
That is a great attitude!!!! 70 is really the first time I have dreaded the age.....but I'm sure that the day will feel like every other....the number just sounds a little scary to me though...I know my hubby didn't like it last year himself.....but...time marches on!

bearcountrygg - Saturday Sep 14, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

Woke up planning my closet further today...the laundry room is taking shape.......today it continues and should be finished today.  I love it when I wake up with plans...makes me wonder if I had been dreaming about it. 

As I have always known...when i count calories or record what i eat in a day...it makes me think about food too much.....it happened yesterday at lunch time......instead of eating intuitively...I ate to use things up.......usually not a good thing for me ( the human garbage can)..........and my calories were high........i need to just eat cravings when I'm hungry and leave it at that......it is so unconventional but it's definately a quirk that plagues me.....I need to listen to that........apparently I am just not going to fit into the mold...apparently I am just going to be me....LOL...apparently I will just do what I do and I need to listen to that.  Right after my coffee....i will take a bath, get dressed and finish up that laundry room closet......


grannyannie on 09/14/2019:
I have to record all food and calories otherwise I get too stressed.

Good job on reorganizing. I love when I get ambitious and have the urge to clean out and reorganize.

BearCountryGG on 09/14/2019:
I think you are the norm Annie.....it usually helps others.....why I fight it like that i have no idea.....but it is the way I react...I wish it wasn't that way. I don't usually fight anything else...just food...UGH!

Donkey on 09/14/2019:
Wow - after reading this, it was like I had an explosion of thoughts.

I cannot track macros (calories), or I get too caught up in a numbers game. It was hard enough to let go of the scale. When I started Keto, I uploaded the "Carb Manager" app on my phone, where all you have to do is enter the foods, and it calculates everything for you. Nope, couldn't even do that.

However, I dislike being the Leftover Queen at my house, i.e. eating things to get rid of them. That is one reason why I asked my husband to stop preparing so much meat, because then I get stuck feeling obligated to eat something just to be rid of it.

I don't have any answers or insights in my comment. Just saying, you're not alone.

BearCountryGG on 09/14/2019:
Can it be a Mom thing? Were we are so into caring for the family that we put ourselves last....? Now that they are grown, we have created long time habits that are hard to shake? Is it a self esteem thing...where we are used to taking our share out of what is leftover? It is frustrating!!!

Maria7 on 09/14/2019:
Wow, I just know your home is looking outstanding with all the work you have been putting into organizing everything in it!

BearCountryGG on 09/14/2019:
I will definately be able to find things easier!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/14/2019:
i am totally still craving a nice, warm Mighty Muffin....soon, soon.

i also like to wake up to plans, it def motivates me more than not. i'm glad to hear you are motivated to be up for the day.

it's ok to just eat when you are hungry, it's normal ;)

sometimes i also cannot eat the same as i usually do or cannot seem to think about it anymore....but i also am an extreme in planning food. so don't compare yourself to me...you are doing it totally OK!

BearCountryGG on 09/14/2019:
It works for me.

bearcountrygg - Friday Sep 13, 2019
(intuitive eating , around 1,200)
Weight: 0.0

WELL...it's friday the 13th and a full moon....so!!!!  I woke up thinking about how I am going to reorganize all of the laundry room cupboards and closets today........full of energy and ready to get at that.....some bins have been sitting in the hallway for a few days......we want our hallway back...getting tired of squeezing by those...today is the day....started out with coffee and hungry...but don't know what I want....so will wait until I do.  When I get hungry enough it will be a lot clearer to me. 

Worked on emptying 1 laundry rm cupboard and started filling it with different things.(laundry supplies, garbage bags etc) Found the long lost iron...LOL....emptied the floor area of the big laundry room closet and dusted that....poked myself in the eye with the corner of a bin...now that might leave a mark!!!  Took some tylenol and got back to work.  It's a good thing I'm cleaning these things out...I have been rebuying things that were already hidden in this closet.....we now have enough Irish Spring soap and kleenex for the next couple of years......finding things that D can take to the barn...( tools, sponges, lighters)...good!!  Finding bedding for bed sizes we don't even own anymore......boy have we been wasting space storing things we didn't need.....donation bag is filling up. 

Finally decided what I wanted for breakfast and it was a Aunt Jemima pancake cup........it was perfect...hit the spot and I'm not hungry anymore....220 cals so with todays coffee it equals 228 cals so for today.  Lots of water going down too.

Lunch was huge and over my cals...but it was solid and will all I eat for the rest of the day....possibly coffee or tea later but no more food...still full 5 hours later......lunch was cole slaw, chicken, pork, potatoes and fruit juice....to total 2,147 for the day.....but I worked hard all day so i did use a lot of calories on that...so I'm happy.......and i cleared the hallway of bins...and the laundry room closet is looking good......as I continue to go down in clothing sizes that will clear a lot of it out.  The day was VERY successful.....and if I'm not too sore tomorrow...I will continue...if needed...I will take a break tomorrow and continue later.

In the evening I did have a cup of coffee and some crackers that are yogurt and berry based......( remembered last nights acid reflux and decided since i hadn't eaten since noon...I had better have something solid to go to bed on.)

grannyannie on 09/13/2019:
Feels good to reorganize! I've got several places I need to do this. I think I'll do the kitchen cupboards next.

Noticed the moon last night when it was nearly full. Wondering if there will be lots of howling tonight since it's also the 13th?!

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
This cleaning and reorganizing is energizing me...I'm loving it!

Donkey on 09/13/2019:
Thanks for the warning: it's going to be a crazy day at work!

I don't know how you even get started on these projects. I feel so overwhelmed... sad... discouraged... angry --I can't even approach my closets.

I have Closets of Denial in my house, lol.

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
Well...I did put a lot of this off for a long time...then when I finally got soooo fed up with it...that was the point I needed to get to it I guess...I have had a huge mess going on in the hallway and master bd room for several days....and now I've had it with that....so it's an action day.

Donkey on 09/13/2019:
Oh I forgot to mention: good for you for waiting to eat until you knew what you wanted. Good job!!

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
Waiting keeps me from eating any old thing...and then what I crave.....on top of that....I just eat less doing this...and figure it it isaving me a lot of calories....it works.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/13/2019:
and it's my boss' bday !!!! lol. my superior, superior boss, that is!

i haven't seen the aunt jemima pancake cup...but i will say i have a favorite brand of microwavable muffin...there is such a BIG variety in how the different brands stack up in taste.

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
I like the muffins too....they are more filling than I thought they would be....I have the kodiak muffins and the aunt jemima pancakes.....I don't need to add anything to them...they are carbs...but our brains and guts need carbs...so I don't really worry about that. They end up being lower calorie than what I might have eaten.....I can wait for luch without snacking usually with them.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/13/2019:
the muffins that i love, i think they are called Mighty Muffins. a little less calories than the kodiak, but similar. sometimes i add EXTRA chocolate chips into them LOL. and i cook it so it stays really moist in the center, like a lava cake. i'm craving one now!

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
Sound yummy!!

Maria7 on 09/13/2019:
Wow, you are doing fantastic organizing everything!

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
It's looking like a new place...LOL

happy-1 on 09/13/2019:
You are an inspiration. I need this kind of dedication to the clean out. I had the pro organizer in and she is coming back... But there's a lot of pre-work to do for one of the bedrooms and I need to get cracking. We have a cleanup week here on the 21st when you can run a yard sale without getting a permit and I would like to put some stuff out for sale or just for free so I don't have to haul it to donate.

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2019:
VERY good idea......You can do it...you will be glad you did!!! Getting rid of things is so satisfying!!!

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