- Wednesday Dec 25, 2019
Merry Christmas!!!! It will be a quiet one for us.....talking to kids on the phone....gifts were mailed a few days ago and we are just enjoying the quiet day. With family hours away we don't get togerher for holidays anymore and instead visit throughout the year and ship gifts. The spirit of the day is with us andi we do a lot of talking on the phone.
D and I will have roast beef with roasted veggies and godiva lava cake.............
I'm excited for new years day actually...lots of new habits to make.........I've been doing some things to make more new habits easier.......and i haven't really used a planner since the early 80's when I was using a planner to set up my days hour to hour out of necessity.I was selling real estate at that time and had to keep track of clients and appointments.... Oddly enough I still have those 2 planners and they are quality...both leather...one beautiful red leather one but they aren't as large as i would like now...I could probably buy new pages for them ( they are notebook style)...and were handy at that time size wise.........but now i just need a desk size and don't plan on carrying it around....I love the new one I got from Michaels...spiral bound and large.
I'm committed to making 2020 the year of creating new habits.......
I'm committing to getting rid of these last few pounds......
I'm committed to recreating new routines that work and free up more time for things I enjoy......
- Tuesday Dec 24, 2019
Up and ready to get started again today.........balance is off yet blood sugars are good....ears are both plugged so that is the cause......press on anyway....things to do and no reason to use this as an excuse to get lazy.
Coffee so far and not hungry. Working hard to break some very old bad habits......technically...habits are not really that hard to break....I just have to replace them with something else....something like actually DOING the thing I'm avoiding!!!!
- Monday Dec 23, 2019
Sleep was spotty last night....got up at 5 and went back to bed an hour later.......sleepy again so an afternoon nap will happen too...otherwise...feeling great.....getting things done and staying busy....still coming up with ideas for 2020.....will probably be adding a gratitude journal and self care times.......I'm thinking that pics will probably happen on the daily rather I get tired of doing them or not....so quitting won't be an option. I also need to use up what we have around here and make it work.........probably won't be pretty pics...LOL....but I guess that isn't a prerequisite. I will definately be counting calories as well as points...and will keep a running notebook of those. I will also plan on a spending moratorium.......will buy food for D as well as perishables for both of us.....I plan to not buy any new clothes for myself....No need to buy something that I don't plan on wearing very long......I will use what is already on hand. Will still buy for D as he needs. I feel ready right now And I'm looking forward to January 1st.
- Sunday Dec 22, 2019
Looks like it will be a quiet Sunday.........Getting out a notebook and making a list of potential plans that can be incorporated in the new year. I think I will possibly do things in stages....setsome goals...make a promise to myself that I do not have to enjoy it but I do need to do it anyway. Anything worth doing is worth doing well so i need to work my way in to doing things automatically and then they will become habit.
I have never really set specific things to do at specific times with specific goals.......I have a planner waiting for January first and i will use it as a guidline for the year........no excuses, no changing plans...just following what i set out to do.
- Saturday Dec 21, 2019
Up early again...the older I get...the happier I am to get up at 4:00 A.M. because I rarely go back to sleep again at that time. We both had a cup of coffee and D had his breakfast and then we moved 4 pieces of furniture upstairs from the basement and I'm stoked. I have been wanting these up here for a long time. Luckily they all fit really well. In moving 1 piece i found a lot of tablecloths that had belonged to my parentss...had no idea they were in there and of course only a month after I ordered a new one because I don't ave any big enough to fit our ddining room table. Just another reason to begin focusing on the basement after the holidays. I also found a really old world war 1 photo of my Grandfathers....that needs to find a home on a wall up here too.
Not hungry yet but I think it will be some dinner lftovers....I never have a problem with eating dinner food for breakfast...in fact I think I just may like it better than breakfast foods that i find kind of bland.
Not counting now until Jan 1st..........and then thinking that I need to get a lot more serious about what I eat........I need to decide and just stick with it...like it or not..........
I had a couple of very long phone calls with family yesterday....youngest son hasn't been feeling well.....and trying to get him to go to the doctor is about as hard as getting myself to go.........and now we worry about him and his wife that is already fighting a form of muscular dystrophy. The other call was from one of D's sisters who is almost blind, an amputee and other serious health problems who is widowed and living alone and 2 years younger than me. We had a good heart to heart and both came away feeling like we had a very good meaningful conversation. But I came away with new worries that make me feel today like I need to keep busy and get things in order....which is what I do when i'm feeling helpless.....so be it.
I'm giving a lot of thought to what I want to achieve in 2020 and I noticed that my first thought was "can I do it?"....and then realized WHY I was questioning my abilities! By questioning myself before even starting...I was giving myself an out and why would I want to do that?
What if I set a program in place and then MADE myself do it???? Why is that such a difficult idea for me to process? What if I did it rather I wanted to or not? What if it became so routine that i did it without thinking and did not give myself any slack or even a choice for that matter.
My mindset makes me or breaks me........I need to make myself push on, when it's difficult, when I don't want to anymore......I need to look at it as something I have to do...like it or not.
I need to stay in my own lane and end up somewhere between 115 and 130 pounds by December 31, 2020
Edit...Happily surprised...Son called to say that he went to the walk in clinic this afternoon and they started him on antibiotics....so that makes us happy.......he missed a small Christmas party but didn't feel that he should expose anyone else to his germs either...so it worked out well....he just has had ear infections one after the other since birth and has been a tough bug to keep away for very long........we are happy he went...so sigh of relief here.
- Friday Dec 20, 2019
Just feeling really good here lately......up at 4:00 A.M. and after my coffee got really productive and emptied a cabinet, washed down and replaced some of it...........I'm liking the way it's all turning out. Thankfully the 1 bedroom closet is picking up the slack...pretty unconventional to have a pantry in the bedroom...but I've gotta do what I gotta do. It works and that is all I care about right now.
The bedroom pantry will need an overhaul now...LOL
Eating just is so less important to me when I stay busy all day........I guess that is how I had so many slim years....
No need to count anything right now so not doing that....although i will probably start again after the holidays justt for the fun of it.....fun may not be the right word...LOL
I would really like to be between 115 and 130 in 2020......will see how that goes.
- Thursday Dec 19, 2019
Rearranging my time has made a huge difference for me. Putting my time where it makes the best impact on my happiness and life makes a lot more sense than wasting it on things that really have no impact on my happiness has been a good lesson.
I spent a big part of yesterday rearranging the kitchen to just work better ( it had mainly been the same as D had set it up for a hunting camp years ago and never has worked well for me)..............but I cook differently than he does.....he can reach higher shelves than I can......he cooks with cast iron pans and they are way too heavy for me. This kitchen is small....so small appliances are moving to a closet out of the kitchen.......right now i can't reach them without a 4 step ladder........taking them out of the room and putting them somewhere that I can easily reach will make using them a lot easier for me.
I had no imput in how this kitchen was designed and I'm uncomfortable with it.....not a kitchen built for ease of cooking but that doesn't mean that I can't make it better without a total rip out and redo......I'm on a mission.
I admit to being a bit snippy with D right now.......frustration is in the air....but it will pass when I get this done......hopefully today. I'm really now realizing how posessive I have been over the last 53 years when it comes to my kitchens........I had always been in control of that part of the house and had never had any opposition on how it was run.......and I'm now on a mission.
Breakfast for me was toasted bagel and PB with coffee....D had his usual breakfast cooked in cast iron...he truly is a creature of habit and his cast iron cookware will stay where it is for his convenience....and now back to work.
Emptying cabinets, scrubbing them out and refilling in a different way and I like it.
- Wednesday Dec 18, 2019
After taking an internet break of sorts ( just a limited amount each day)......and creating some new habits over the last 6 days I'm feeling energized and feeling a lot more productive. Sitting at the computer was consuming my days and becoming a habit that I was having trouble breaking.
I cut back on Facebook posts but scanned it daily. I read here daily to keep up with everyone..........and made some changes that get me off my butt and on my feet more. Email is an ongoing thing so had to keep up with that...as well as a few other necessities....but I made a lot of cuts and I'm fine with it.
I had cancelled my Weight Watchers subscription ( this has happened many times over the last few years)......and D finally voiced his opinion about that....he suggested that I just plan on being a WW member forever.....he was totally onboard...he didn't care if I followed the plan day to day or not but he did feel that rather I was actually doing the program or not that I got a lot of enjoyment from it here and there so I should just keep it up and use it when I wanted to......so I once again for the millionth time...joined and it will just be there in the background off and on and I will use it at will...he felt that it was $20.00 a month well spent......I thought I was saving money by quitting but he pointed out that he gets lots of magazine subscriptions and I don't...so he felt I got something out of it....so be it....there it is...some days I count points...some days I don't...but it also gives calories so I guess it's a win/win.
I do feel like I am making better use of my time now. I'm not letting so much of it slip away doing things that really don't matter in the whole scheme of things......I've set some personal standards that I'm enjoying a lot.
I often get into ruts that seem to lead me to more ruts....LOL......BUT...digging myself out of them is fun too.....and I'm having fun right now digging out.
Recently we found out that the house we built 40 years ago and had lived in for 32 years....had been remodeled over the last year and was sold in October. He bought it as a single guy and he is still single...and while living in it for 8 years he decided to bring it up to date and what an amazing redo he did. D and I have been pouring over the pictures of what he has done with it......what fun we have had reminising over that for the last few hours......he did an amazing job with it......I will see if I can get a addy for that and post it if I can...in case anyone is interested.
I think I need a lesson on how to copy and paste here....it wouldn't let me so I typed it in.
But I will say that we are super impressed with what our buyer did with it.
- Thursday Dec 12, 2019
Well.....I've proven to myself that at 1,200 calories I just maintain.......I do have hashimotos that slows down metabolism as does my past dieting history. I have also learned how to stay at that without counting until I'm done eating in the evening. So, I'm accepting that I am apparently where I should be rather I'm happy with that or not. I'm accepting that as meeting a goal of sorts because I'm not a fan of counting food all day for myself.
In anticipation of the new year.....I plan to cut back my online time........Over the last few years it has replaced my time reading and doing other things that I really want to get back to doing again. Of course I will never give up the internet totally....but I do want to cut back on it.
I hope everyone has a happy holiday season, and a happier new year.
- Wednesday Dec 11, 2019
Bright sun and bitter cold....D at the dentist...and I'm home trying to figure out why the printer prints pictures and no text......
Still eating the things that need to be used up........apparently i've learned the fine art of maintenence...scales haven't moved in apparently a long time. I heard last night that we burn 1 calorie per minute when we are sitting down......that is 1,440 calories burned per day just existing in a chair or bed..........................