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bearcountrygg - Saturday May 11, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Cool and overcast here in the forrest......and spending this saturday cleaning and rearranging things...it's a good thing....eating has been actually minimal...sweets yes....but also fish....and a couple of other things...but it does truly seem like I can easily trade eating and housecleaning up very easily...it's always been that way...I guess when I get stressed..I just sit down and eat.....when I plan a day of cleaning.......I have very little appetite....as Legs said.....trading one addiction for another does work......

There is a lot of satisfaction for me in having a clean and well organized house...there is a lot of momentary satisfaction and a looong unhappy time with eating the wrong things at the wrong times.........

I guess that housecleaning will be my addiction of choice...because Kaboom  and food just do not mix...LOL

Tomorrow.....back to the pictures because I make better choices then...and tomorrow will be another huge cleaning day because i eat less then...time to stack the deck for success!!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/12/2019:
what type of fish were you eating?

i also love a really clean place, plus it's good exercise when you clean! it's amazing how fast things get dusty!!

bearcountrygg - Friday May 10, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

My agrivation with myself............parents that were sugarholics...especially chocolate...set the standard....chocolate is not to be frowned on...in fact my Moms chocolate addiction was a part of her funeral....her addiction started as a child living across the street from a grocery store....and her penchant for begging her Dad for a nickel for candy....I will say it was cute when during the service her surviving brother and sister were brought into that by the pastor.  There they were in their very advanced old age nodding and remembering the candy from the store across the street...seeing them interacting with the pastor was cute...and in their senility they still remembered....but my chocolate filled childhood is still with me......for many of my thin years I successfully avoided it........then...oddly...what started it again in my 40's was a stressful time when Perry Drug store ( now Rite Aid).....donated all of their leftover easter candy to social services.......( a sons friend was working there and they were looking for a charity to donate to).....he delivered it to us and said to take what we wanted....give away what we wanted...and take the rest to social services ( we were foster parents at the time and the social workers were thrilled)..........so that got me back into a little bit of chocolate..and it  only got worse from there...it became a "THING" again....and truly has never stopped...........is it genetics?  Is it what i was taught?  Is it lack of self control?  One thing I know is that even though my parents would actually drive to a store just for chocolate...I would not.....NO...I am a little more savvy then that...I STAY WELL STOCKED....UGH!

I will say that D has better self control with food...coming from a family where both parents were diabetic and he and 2 sisters are now....he can eat a little and stop.................and his last A1C test was great....still on meds...but great.   I'm not a good example for him........I still buy the stuff...I still put it in the cupboards.....today..I removed most of it from his sight......I don't want to continue to be a bad example for him...he needs to deal with his problem without me making it worse.

On the other had with myself having LOW blood sugar...I HAVE to have it readily available quickly...what a mess.  I take advantage of that and eat a lot of it...yet...how am I avoiding diabetes?????  My Mother and grandfather were diabetic......how am I avoiding that with my sugar addiction?  

I went off the sugar awhile back and had all kinds of medical issues...felt terrible..obviously craving the sugar.......bloated and worse.......added the sugar back and health issues settled down.......I need to get a handle on this or I will be back to my higest weight again..( been there and done that)....I have had the idea that if it is in the house it is fair game...yet i never allow myself to use it up and keep it out after that.............schwans, boxed, walmart and amazon groceries...are no help......I keep ordering, they keep delivering and I keep eating..........I have self control in every stinking area of my life...WHY NOT FOOD????????   This is not a question to anyone...I guess I am asking myself.  Maybe because i am restrained in every other area???????  Maybe because I don't want to give it up or eat in moderation...maybe because I refuse to give up my ONE VICE????........................................................................................................Food just seems to be a all or nothing thing for me.  

Why am I so weak when it comes to eating right.....?????

Maria7 on 05/10/2019:
For me, food is a comfort...a comfort from stress...a comfort from things I feel I am missing out on sometimes...Sweets is my thing...I feel stressed, then it is time for something crunchy to eat...I feel I am missing out on something...Time for more comforting food, sometimes lots of it...sometimes it doesn't matter if it is sweet or salty...Food is comforting...until we get on the scale and then there is disgust...we feel like failures...We can't wear the size we prefer to wear...We see that our bodies have fat on them that doesn't need to be on them...We are not as healthy as we could be if we were thinner...Just park in a parking lot of a busy store and count how many overweight people get out of their vehicles and go into the store until you finally see 'one' that might be normal weight...most Americans are overweight...Discipline is not always the answer when food is an addiction for many people...It is one thing that makes them feel better temporarily...Food is comforting.

BearCountryGG on 05/10/2019:
You are exactly right Maria....what you wrote sounds like it was written by me........You understand completely and I appreciate that so much! Thank you!

legcramps on 05/10/2019:
Yes, addiction is addiction, no matter how you look at it. I agree with Maria when she says that discipline is not always the answer. Maybe the first step is trying to understand how addictions can be managed and/or treated?

In my life - and i've heard this from many other people as well - I have substituted one addiction for another, and that's how I have overcome some pretty bad habits/addictions from my past. Instead of smoking, I bike. Instead of drinking, I swim. Instead of arguing, I lift. But just because i'm doing healthier things doesn't mean I don't still struggle with addiction. I've only become very good at distracting myself!

The part about discipline that no one really talks about is that it is a form of control. And we can only control so many things in our lives. So we control our food intake, the cleanliness of the house, the relationships we have with other, and then - when we inevitably fail to be 100% at these things - we fall apart. And when we fall apart, we feel disappointment, despair, worthless, and we fall even deeper, until we attempt to control these things yet again. And the cycle continues.

It's not a sign that you are anything other than HUMAN. I don't have the answer, but I think it is hiding somewhere in SELF-ACCEPTANCE. Love the person you are, right now, first. Maybe then you will allow yourself the space you need to succeed.

BearCountryGG on 05/10/2019:
I agree..it is definately an addiction....and yoyo dieting has been an issue before...I think your idea of substituting one addiction for another makes all kinds of sense...and I believe I can substitute house cleaning instead...I guess that is why I'm back on FLYLADYS homemaking schedule...I know for a fact that I do not eat when I'm cleaning....it does work. Thanks for the reminders...I totally agree.

horn_of_plenty on 05/10/2019:
a little is OK of anything. you can actually make chocolate part of the day, instaed of saying it's fully off-limits.

i have learned that i can't avoid things or i binge later.

BearCountryGG on 05/10/2019:
It's a catch 22 for me...I can't seem to eat just 1 serving of certain things....buying just 1 serving is probably the only way for me......and I agree with total avoidance...it can lead to a binge too.

Donkey on 05/11/2019:
A very honest entry, with lots of really good feedback. Wish I had the answer... I did think about what your wrote.

BearCountryGG on 05/11/2019:
I have to say that is is an addiction......I am beginning to accept that. It could be worse...and it could be better....but it is a powerful force...I wish I had the answer too....

bearcountrygg - Thursday May 09, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Well it has been a crazy busy last few days and my general routines have suffered.  Now that Mr Sampson has taken over my laundry room with his litter box, dishes and various other kitty items...the laundy baskets have taken over the bedroom and it's an obstacle course in there.....Spent the last few days drinking decaf and that was NOT going to work.  I wanted to sleep or slept, or daydreamed about sleeping about 90% of the time.  Today the regular old coffee appeared back in my life and OH what a difference.  Routines have suffered and the house is a crazy mess.  I'm thinking about getting back into the FLYLADY routines......They work and the house has never run so efficiently.  To make matters worse I found some not so low cal things in the freezer...they had been hidden for far too long.  I got them out and am determined that they just get used up...I'm shopping differently now and I really don't want to be knowing they are in there......still too many things that tempt me around here even in the cupboards.....why does food have such a draw?????  Discovered that the batteries in the scale are dead.......need to get on that.  Sounds like I'm not the only one in a funk.....Allergy season is here for us too and we can barely breathe.....the struggle is real......On a happy note Sampson is a doll and keeps us laughing.  He has taken over my recliner and that might just be a good thing...D laughed at me this morning because I sat on the couch..haven't done that for awhile....I guss Sampson moved in and became the boss....LOL

Todays food is embarassing...... a breakfast bagel, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, 2 brownies and reeses peanut butter Easter eggs and a cup of real honest to goodness coffee.  I'm just giving up and giving in for the rest of the day...and tomorrow is going to be a lot different.

legcramps on 05/09/2019:
Your Sampson is beautiful!

BearCountryGG on 05/09/2019:
Thank you...We just love him.

Donkey on 05/09/2019:
Wow, I had forgotten about Flylady!

BearCountryGG on 05/09/2019:
Me too...and then I was reminded of her from a youtube video in fact 2 of them....2 people on youtube started with her routines and then eventually created their own to fit their needs and both are super organized homemakers and youtubers and both are really driven..I'm so impressed with their dedication to routines....I need to get back to that...this house is half the size of our last one so it is harder actually to keep up with because so many things are over crowding it now...

bearcountrygg - Monday May 06, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Looks like a busy day around here today...lots to do.


bagel = 220

spray butter = 0

1 t. honey = 43

strawberries = 47

coffee = 5

horn_of_plenty on 05/06/2019:
breakfast looks satisfying and delightful. i can taste it over here! yum!

Donkey on 05/07/2019:
Your new cat is so handsome!

bearcountrygg - Sunday May 05, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0


Schwans breakfast bagel = 330

1 banana = 80

17 grapes = 30

pomegranate powder in water = 20

coffee = 5



Our new little buddy Sampson


1 cup chili = 240

1 mini bag organic doritos = 130

1 cup strawberries = 46

2 T cool whip  lite = 20


so far today = 901


Red lentil pasta with tomato sauce, ground beef and peppers = 398

Built bar = 110

Green tea with lemon = 5


Total for day = 1,414

Horn_of_plenty on 05/05/2019:
awwwww Sampson is very, very adorable! welcome to the family!

is it me or is the bagel a straight shape, not round? it looks tasty!

your meals look soooo tasty!!!! doritos are striking up my taste buds. everything looks GREAT!

BearCountryGG on 05/05/2019:
Yup...the filled bagel is a rectangle.......they are good...and easy...but I may not get them again....I'm working on using things in the freezer up...not that it is nicer weather I will order only minimally from schwans...

bearcountrygg - Saturday May 04, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Up early and had coffee...but not hungry...I'll take that.  Foggy and humid out and in the 60's....Apparently I forgot a few things when I went shopping yesterday......so this morning I will be heading for the crummy store in town, the drug store and the bank...then back home to get things ready for the future cat......rearranging things to suit our new buddy.....and some general cleaning and picking up....the exercycle has now turned into a clothes hanger...this needs to stop.  I guess I bought the wrong cat food so need to fix that too.  I'm so excited in fact D is too....about the future little buddy......apparently there are 4 cats there...females aged 3 and 4...and an 8 year old male.......they are all in the running right now but a white and black 4 year old girl has been declawed so that gives her a bit of edge with us.....but apparently she is a nervous nelly there because of the noise at the shelter...so I'm just going to make a decision when I see how all 4 react to me.....Some of the supplies arrived yesterday...more will come today...and 1 last thing in a couple of weeks...but after today we will have all of the really necessary things.....carrier and litter box arrived yesterday......small town living is so limited....so thank goodness for the internet.......we will be driving about an hour to the shelter in the next few days...possibly tomorrow or Monday.  I'm excited but I want to be totally ready when they arrive.....not like my past years where I winged it....with several cats......it went well then...but boy ...life sure has changed from the old days ...now....it's like preparing for a baby...LOL

EDIT....got all of my running done this morning and got home and we made a snap decision to go to the shelter....Had a heck of a time finding it...I'm so glad D  went because I never would have found it myself.....( really bad directions)......The white cat that was declawed was on a  shelf up near the ceiling, and never noticed us...and the volunteer there was afraid of her....that wouldn't work.......the one sitting on the front desk I was warned was "feisty".....2 were friendly..until the calico lightly bit me........so...by process of elimination...we brought a beautiful orange 8 year old Samson home......and he is inspecting the house...and already found a pile of sawdust in the basement and rolled in it......he didn't care for the ride home but he loves roaming around here...and he comes when called...I love him already.  Gave him a bowl of water and dry food and he started eating...but when he heard me open a can of food...he was on his hind feet instantly...nothing wrong with his ears.

Never did have breakfast...just a part of a cup of coffee........so had 2 slices of cold pizza when we got home.........I plan to start counting and taking pictures again.......probably tomorrow.

7:00 banana and grapes


Horn_of_plenty on 05/04/2019:
Oh, i hadn't realized you are getting a new cat! how exciting! now, i think you and donkey (?) both have new cats!

wait, are you taking all the cats?

BearCountryGG on 05/04/2019:
Nope...just got 1...8 year old Samson. So far so good.

Donkey on 05/04/2019:
Something to keep in mind: When we adopted our last cat, it took her about 2 months to start feeling comfortable with us. The shelter had a 10-day return policy, but that wasn't nearly enough time for her to make the adjustment, which I completely understand. At the point where we were contemplating whether we had made the wrong choice in cats, we decided that even if kitty were to remain reclusive & skittish, having her in the house would still be OK with us, because *we* knew she was here with us and would be OK. Now she's the biggest love-butt in the world.

BearCountryGG on 05/04/2019:
Oh...That is so nice to hear.........This guy is pretty bold...he is upstairs and in the basement...checking everything out...and purring away...so hopefully he will be okay.....biggest worry is scratching things...our house is totally pine and we have leather furniture...we are hoping that won't become a problem...he isn't shy at all...typical guy...walking around inspecting everything... and D told me later that he had seem him scratching wood with all 4 feet.....at the shelter....I hope that doesn't become a problem.......but right now..he is purring like crazy....he had been at the shelter for several months....but Thanks for the heads up...he could make a turn at any time,...i will keep your experiences in mind. I'm hoping for the best.

Donkey on 05/05/2019:
Sounds like you picked up a friendly, easy-going guy! Do you have a scratching post? I would highly recommend that. You can put some catnip on it, so that he knows, "This is a good place to scratch."

Happy for your new family member :)

bearcountrygg - Friday May 03, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Got up early and hit the grocery store...and it was even busy at that time.....but the weekly shopping is done now and back home before 8 A.M....I like that......there is a lot to do today so it will help me get an early start on everything.....after a rain day yesterday...it is just chilly and overcast.....

breakfast bagel thing from Schwans and coffee

Picked up a frozen pizza for lunch...not a great choice but will control the portion

Since I am avoiding the scales and going by how clothes fit...I don't really know what I weigh right now....and I don't really want to know.....But I am at that grey area where I just seem to stay about the same.....and I will probably have to really buckle down and get more serious.......finding out that I have shrunk 2 inches is  seriously a bummer.  But healthy is better than unhealthy and it needs to be done........Guess it's about time to bring out the big guns.....( not today though)....LOL

horn_of_plenty on 05/03/2019:
yes, what you said about the French grandma is exactly what i experienced. they take their time with their food.

BearCountryGG on 05/03/2019:
They savor it.......and chat...and sip tea......and they have a totally different opinion about bathing and shaving and DEODORANT...LOL

horn_of_plenty on 05/03/2019:
i feel like i haven't missed a beat coming back to nyc from paris it's all chilly and overcast still! seems like much of the western world is experiencing this depressed weather!

i actually prefer frozen pizza bc the calories at least i can count ;)

i also am not really satisfied with the couple pounds i gained in Winter but i also seem to be staying the same and just going with it.

maybe you'll lose more once weather is better you can go outside more.

BearCountryGG on 05/03/2019:
I need to stop with the bars ( not alcohol...lol)....they have plagued ever since I tasted the first one so many years ago.....they are my kryptonite!

bearcountrygg - Thursday May 02, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Started the morning with a little fox news and a cup of coffee...then on to a schwans egg white, turkey bacon breakfast sandwich.

Began the decluttering of the kitchen with 2 drawers for utensils and silverware........HUGE bag on donations already piled up to take....does anyone really need 6 wine bottle openers, 8 whisks or 5 ice cream scoops....?  I think not!

We have made the decision to get a shelter cat......so I ordered the necessities and they will arrive tomorrow......already talking to the shelter...they have 4 cats there that are aged 3 to 8.....I have my eye on one 4 year old named heidi who is declawed.....but that doesn't mean we wouldn't pick a different one...they are all in the running.....I want a snuggler and I'm not sure that Heidi is one......so we will be making the trip there in the next few days....the supplies need to arrive first.  We have had 6 cats over our 52 year marriage...and it's been 5 years without.......it has taken this long to get over the the last dog and cat...but I think I'm ready now....I'm so excited.

Well...bath time and then back to the kitchen declutter...........

Got  those 2 l;arge kitchen drawers done and they look pretty good.....a load of laundry and a snack before lunch which was a red lental pasta with beef, peppers and tomatoes...very good...

Afternoon snack and thinking about rateher or not I be=need a 3rd meal...will see.


innerpeace on 05/02/2019:
Yes, everyone needs 5 ice cream scoops!! Good luck on getting a cat. I would love to have one, but DH says No, so I have dogs, one's a lover and one's a biter...j/k Have a good day.

BearCountryGG on 05/02/2019:
We have hound dogs but they are outside in a kennel.....I have really been missing a house pet.....One nice thing about dogs though..is that they usually love you...cats are loveable only when they want to be loved....pretty aloof too....but I'm looking for a snuggler. We sure don't need ice cream scoops anyway...or pizza cutters...LOL

Maria7 on 05/02/2019:
So sweet that you are giving a shelter cat a good, loving home. Happy for you both. I am also a 'cat' person...I currently have 2, one is a snuggler and one is a biter but both are outside cats, cannot have inside animals. I love them both very much. Some cats are more affectionate than others and I believe there is one waiting for you that is a snuggler type. Congratulations! Happy for you!

BearCountryGG on 05/03/2019:
We at one time had a snippy cat that wanted love only on her terms...then we had one that was sweet 100% of the time......I want another nice one...LOL

Horn_of_plenty on 05/03/2019:
TY for the built bar warning of temptations and sweet taste.

While in Paris, i noticed easily they don't snack as much on bars and things like we do. it's even hard to get any "diet" drinks at all. They generally looked to have better skin, less acne, overall healthier. i might try to get off the bars, but keep my snacking on nuts instead....but, i must admit i do like bars and the option to have them here and there!

in Paris, they do not snack like we do. it's more on healthy things like fruits. and they don't walk around on the streets with drinks, coffee, or food. they sit and eat properly. such a difference from the states! and yes, they were much thinner, even than me!

BearCountryGG on 05/03/2019:
That is true...I had a French Grandma and she was very focused on specific things and there never seemed to be snacks at all. They eat slowly...and chat and visit...no scarfing down food like some one was going to take it away.

bearcountrygg - Monday Apr 29, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

It is a beautiful spring day here today...the trees are budding and I'm keeping really busy opening bins in the basement and dealing with all of it.  I'm finding treasures as well as things that are no longer needed.  Spring cleaning has a whole new meaning this year.  All of the extra work and activity seems like a great way to think about other things than dieting and it is a welcome distraction. It's been a great way to remove eating or shopping as entertainment or boredom busters.  It has brightened up the house with some newly found old things that I had forgotten about and everything old is new again....makes me want to scrub, clean, rearrange and brighten things up.  Had a cup of coffee, threw a load of laundry in the washer and now heading for the basement to see what other goodies I can uncover!

Coffee = 2

10:45 = egg white, turkey bacon, cheese and multigrain biscuit sandwich = 220

Washer and dryer purring along, sorting through basement goodies and tripping over a big old heavy jack........thankfully landing on both feet...didn't see that coming while carrying a load of things....while I was flying there for a second I wasn't sure....just now finally getting over breaking a bone in my foot/toe after tripping over a mirror leg..maybe I should start wearing my glasses...LOL.

Getting ready to make D's lunch...so relaxing for a bit.

Watching for mail lady because Built bars are arriving today and apparently they should be refrigerated because the chocolate melts.  Since we just had a little snow flurry (ugh)...it probably won't hurt them to wait in the mailbox if they fit.  Probably won't fit though. 

1:00 = 1 cup ground beef with BBQ sauce = 366

1 cup peach slices from frozen = 60

1 cup lettuce = 8

dressing = 110

1/4 cup maple glazed pecans = 150

banana Built Bar = 110  OMG...these things are AMAZING..the best way I can describe it is a nougat filling covered with dark chocolate

legcramps on 04/30/2019:
What is a nougat?

How is the basement progress coming? I would LOVE to hit my basement too; it doesn't have a lot of stuff, but it could definitely be cleaned up. I wish there was more time in the day...

BearCountryGG on 04/30/2019:
Nougat is a chewy sweet...kind of like caramel but no brown sugar. Basement is coming along great......finding lots of things to put to use and plenty to donate and give away......I'm really glad to finally be ready to do this!

horn_of_plenty on 04/30/2019:
Built bars sound amazing !!!!

Lately I am sooooo enjoying my morning coffee !!

BearCountryGG on 04/30/2019:
Built bars could very easily become a problem....like an addictive problem...we have a lot of them from this order but I may not order again because they are rekindling a sweet problem. I'm just drinking 1 cup of coffee right now and it's okay....I may begin to add a cup of decaf daily too...will see.

bearcountrygg - Wednesday Apr 24, 2019
(Working on New Habits)
Weight: 0.0

Breakfast = 412 cals

boiled egg, toasted bagel with spray butter and cream cheese, orange, coffee

Finally got the pic up...but not sure how I did it.....LOL

When I let the computer update it enabled Microsoft One Drive which I was happier without...does anyone know if I can delete it without messing the computer up?

Power outage and running on the generator right now...had a big salad for lunch.....There is a big fire in town right now so that may be the cause......

horn_of_plenty on 04/24/2019:
it's nice to see you can quite a bit of food for low cals. was it a smaller bagel?

your breakfast yesterday was impressive so much food and it was definitely a nice amount of cals...i was impressed with the servings and filling breakfast, and yes, calories worked!

BearCountryGG on 04/24/2019:
Yes...definately smaller plain lender bagel.

legcramps on 04/24/2019:
yum, love bagels. Well, any carb really ;)

I don't know anything about One Drive, sorry, but it is just an added software program so it shouldn't mess up your computer.

BearCountryGG on 04/24/2019:
Our power is still out so I will be brief. I removed one drive and it came right back....I wish updating didn't change things so mush, now they are demanding phone numbers and I'm refusing. I get enough spam calls. I LOVE carbs too and the brain needs them...happy food.

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