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biscottibody59 - Sunday Jun 16, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 152

Calories: 2117; Burned: 3194; 17% Activities; Deficit: 1077;
Water: >110 oz
Day 153

Calories: 2205; Burned: 2947; 11% Activities; Deficit: 742;
Water: >80 oz
Day 154

Calories: 2732; Burned: 2968; 12% Activities; Deficit: 236;
Water: >80 oz
The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain. --Richard M. Nixon (1913-1994)

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there!

I've been making a mixed bag of choices and staying active. I did 62 min on the NordicTrack on Thursday (Day 152) including leg lifts and pushups (did 20 in a row on the last set--woohoo!), which turned out to be a bit much. I made sure I drank plenty of water, but on Friday (Day 153) I had a bit of a sick headache (partially from overdoing it the day before and making a command decision to stop caffeine--again--after 4 or 5 in the p.m.) and I'm still sticking to this--it's hard not to reach for a Pepsi at about 9 or 10 p.m. And of course by the time I felt better I elected to mow the lawn (groannnnnnn!).

Made cheese/tomato/garlic butter bread twice--accounts for alot of calories and went to a Chinese buffet yesterday. Also yesterday alot of yard cleanup, a small walk, am finally "training" my dog to heel after lots of frustration. Constant repetition--maybe that's why it's called training, ya'll--hahaha! It actually is working.

So, no more cheese toast and I'm maintaining my activity level. After being "yukked out" on Friday, I'm going to keep my activity at that level, but not overdo it.

I am at a different level of mindfulness foodwise. I bought a bag of Hershey's MilkChoc Nuggets and I'm glad they put as a serving FOUR of those THINGS (replace with expletive having initials of MF;-). 'Cause I only ate 3 over an entire day--could have had half the bag or even the whole bag.

Anyone out there wear Brooks running shoes? I've always worn Saucony brand, but am thinking of changing. I've been burned way too many times buying anything Nike. Please share your running shoe opinions, if you please.

Hope you have a good food choice day--keep at it--if at first you don't succeed, try, try again--it really works--especially when you find that beating yourself up is simply a waste! Acknowledge your mistake and move on. Make it again, but stop sooner--I swear this works! Eat a smaller portion of whatever is your weakness; make better choices next time.

Have a great day and I'll see ya' later!

inmorning on 06/16/2002:
Good job only eating three of the chocolate nuggets. I am still in the mindset that if I start I can't stop myself. I always wore nike's but I see you don't like those and my husband swears by converse.

inmorning on 06/16/2002:
To answer your question, I haven't worked up the the arms yet. I have tried to do them but I thought you were supposed to do them all the time and it felt like I was dying. Thanks for the tip. I will try using the arms every 3 minute to begin with.

Crittermama on 06/16/2002:
Great job on your resistance of those Hersey Nuggets. I love them too much to even have them in the house!!

MichelleP on 06/16/2002:

Oh girlfriend you asked the million dollar question! I have tried a few different running shoes. I paid a small fortune for Rockports, and got a stress fracture and heal bonespurs after 3 days. That cost me 6 weeks in a full leg cast. I have tried Nikes but they hurt my knees. I have been using Reebok DMX and have had no problems. When I got my last pair it was when I really started to up the exercise, we went to the store and I wore them for about 20 minutes running around and jumping up and down like a crazy person. LOL my DH said he is never going sneaker shopping with me ever again!

I really agree beating yourself up is a waste of energy! Take that energy and do some type of exercise! Portion control is key! You are doing great keep at it!

Have a great day!

biscottibody59 - Thursday Jun 13, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 151

Calories: 1815; Burned: 2704; 0% Activities; Deficit: 889;
Water: >60 oz
The three most beautiful sights: a potato garden in bloom, a ship in sail, a woman after the birth of her child. --Irish Proverb

Happy Wednesday! (I mean Thursday!--yeah, it's Thursday!!!)

I was gonna do one of those "just the facts ma'am" entries and then I thought, it's so true that "youth is wasted on the young!" and I'm only just 43;-) I got to thinking that if being a girl/young woman today means being all things to all people--your parents, your coaches, your school, your boyfriend--INSTEAD of being really good to yourself and the people around you making sure your incredibly fragile self-esteem is protected, then my envy of the young has vaporized into nothing.

You get to be 35 or 40 and no matter what, you may begin to think that life has passed you by and you question yourself about what it's all about AND you wonder if there's time to change. Your parents are old or already deceased or you may be estranged from them because of a past incident/misunderstanding (justifiably or not). Or your parents may rely on you more than you'd like and you dread the phone ringing. If you have children as well, add that to the mix. Self-esteem is a fragile aspect of us no matter our age. It is worth taking care of YOUR self-esteem! Take good care of yourselves!

Again, losing the pounds and inches and exercising (that I've done in the past year) may not add much to my family and others around me--but it's done a world of good for me:-) I'm grateful for all the support that I've received in the past--Thanks ya'll!

I didn't do any outside exercise, but every day I'm learning! See you later folks!

CharlieAngel on 06/13/2002:
AMEN! However, I do think that taking care of yourself, making time for yourself adds to the family dynamic. For me it as simple as this: If I am happy with myself and taking good care of me that gives me more energy and patience to deal with life's little arrows! Eddy teases me alot but he really does have the right mind set: If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! I also feel that today's society places too much pressure on kids. Whatever happened to unconditional love? And have you noticed that very few kids actually play outside anymore? Mom used to have to drag me into the house! You are so insightful and have once again challenged me to do some thinking about this! Thanks!! Charlotte

SacFatCity on 06/13/2002:
"If I only knew then, what I know now." Isn't it the truth? I thank my mother that she got me so involved with sports when I was young. I had a pretty good self esteem through highschool and college, but now that the beautiful body I had is gone, I regret taking it for granted. I know I can just have a different beautiful body now(I swear, these saddlebags are here for life now :). But if I could go back, I would have worn more dresses, tight jeans, and taken care of myself so that I wouldn't have gained this weight in the first place. I remember when I first started gaining weight, I wasted a lot of time moaning and groaning about getting up to 140!! And now I wish I could get back down to 140!! You're right there is a lot of time wasted because of people's self-esteem and self-consciousness or just plain short-sighted perspective of life. Thanks for the thought-filled entry! Have a great day!

inmorning on 06/13/2002:
Thanks for the nice comments you gave me, I love reading your entries I find them such an inspiration. You have such a healthy attitude.

biscottibody59 - Wednesday Jun 12, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 150

Calories: 1589; Burned: 3031; 12% Activities; Deficit: 1442;
Water: >100 oz
Each had his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart; and his friends could only read the title. --Virginia Woolf

The beat goes on . . . lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub!

I did about 42 min on the NordicTrack and a short 10 min walk. Made some black bean soup, good stuff maynard! I can't imagine having an Ana monkey on my back. I feel too good eating and exercising and drinking water and sweating and eating and exercising and sleeping and laughing and possessing neither a perfect life nor a perfect body and eating and oh, did I mention exercising--exercise makes me feel really good.

I wasn't anywhere near believing I could feel this good nearly a year ago when I took a stab at DDs again. So there's hope for everyone in their very own personal journey. You can jump on my bandwagon, but I simply can't offer any guarantees. You'll feel more of a sense of accomplishment if you follow your own lead and "to thine ownself be true!"

See ya' later buddies!

MichelleP on 06/12/2002:

You are doing awesome, I hope I am where you are in a year. But if it take 2 years or more I am in for the long haul!

I love that saying "to thine ownself be true", there is a country song by Reba called Fancy it has that in one of the lines.

Take care and have a wonderful night!

inmorning on 06/13/2002:
Your entry today was an encouragement. I have not been here that long but seeing how you feel after a year, reaffirms my belief that I have done the right thing coming here.

CharlieAngel on 06/13/2002:
AMEN!!!!!!! You gotta do this for you! Not for anyone else. And I am so with you about the exercise! Sweating and sore muscles make me feel totally alive and full of zest for living! Thanks for being here!!! Have a great day...Love, Charlotte

biscottibody59 - Tuesday Jun 11, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 148

Calories: 1356; Burned: 2831; 5% Activities; Deficit: 1475;
Water: >100 oz
Day 149

Calories: 1722; Burned: 2915; 9% Activities; Deficit: 1193;
Water: >80 oz
We are all what we pretend to be, but, we had better be very careful what we pretend. --Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Happy Evening!

Well, it's been a very productive 2 days for me. And today hasn't been bad--got in some pre-breakfast exercise.

Pezzy34--if you don't come back on and you want support, drop me an email--K? I got to read your entry from yesterday and it prompted me to write a letter to a snack food from my childhood (anyone remember Dinkie Twinkies?). Bravo to you and your entry!

Then I thought again and slept on it and I just think I'll continue in my endeavor for myself and others who are going about their journey in a sensible, humane, and (I hope) healthy way. Onward, upward and downward with the scale. Speaking of, my measurements are down overall. My totals lost are back to where they were in September!

To TATERHOG: I wouldn't (and wouldn't want to:-) be able to do the calorie counts, etc. without the help of FitDay.com. They're just numbers and something to go by. They help to keep me vigilant--there's that word again . . .

Here's a bit from a comment "eighty-five" left me (thanks "85";-) that I think is IT in a nutshell for me. It's hard to remember to love ourselves sometimes.

That's my job now--to keep watch over myself always, and love myself, whether I'm "good" or "bad."

I'll see ya' all later!

CharlieAngel on 06/11/2002:
You are doing so great! And you are so right about doing this for yourself! I know that I won't let a few uninformed people keep me from coming here! I need you guys! Thanks, as always, for your insight and inspiration. See ya, Charlotte

Esperanza on 06/11/2002:
Congrats on your measurements being down!! That is definitley a great comment!! Take Care! You are doing great!!

:-) Esperanza

biscottibody59 - Sunday Jun 09, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 146

Calories: 2627; Burned: 3034; 15% Activities; Deficit: 407;
Water: >110 oz
Day 147

Calories: 2532; Burned: 2797; 5% Activities; Deficit: 265; Water: -0-
Don't expect mangoes when you plant papayas. --Mimfa A. Gibson

Happy Sunday!

To Pezzy, counting my calories is probably the most obsessive thing I do. Goodness knows if I were this obsessive about other things I'd be President of the US by now--hahaha! I'll rest easy knowing I'm not the only one who feels a little like a hamster spinning in a wheel sometimes:-)

I didn't do so great overall this week and so my weight is up, but I'm not changing it--dadgummit! I burned alot of calories on Friday with mowing, weedeating, and raking, but I almost consider those as negative calories because there's very little joy in it for me. I look forward to getting it done and it's a good exercise in accomplishment of a task, but I effing hate it!

I want to devote this week to eating to live rather than giving in to a junk or fast food craving (attack is a better word;-) I don't beat myself up over it so much if I'm doing something to offset the calories, but it's getting me nowhere. What do I have to lose--ya'll know--inches and pounds--Yiiiii-ha!

Also, I just want to say there's been somewhat of an explosion of "pro-ana," starvation-doing, (IMHO) "don't need to lose as much as they're planning to" people showing up on this humble website. Personally, I can't give support or keyboard time to the efforts of those who are doing very little to further their health and in some cases playing with fire. Vomit is vomit to your esophagus. Whether it's from acid reflux, GI illness, or purposeful purging of overeaten food to get rid of the full feeling. Stomach contents can scar, and over time cause cancer to develop in your esophagus (sounds kinda like a Nexxium commercial;-)

I suppose it's possible that alot of young women have witnessed their mothers or other family members using purging as a way to control weight. Well, my parents both smoked when I was small. You can overcome the imprinting of your home life--get help if you think you will benefit from it. I guess there's a fine line between taking care of yourself and abusing yourself. If I start losing 5 pounds a week and get to 88.5 pounds by eating 1200 calories a day and burning 900 from exercise and HOLLYWOOD calls and wants me to be the next Calista Flockhart, then I'm probably just as wrong-headed as one who is starving themself, because in effect--HELLO!--I'm starving myself! I wouldn't expect those pounds to stay off anyway.

So, I've said my peace (sort of;-) so I'll stop with the mini-rant.

Have a great and enjoyable food and exercise day!

MichelleP on 06/09/2002:

All I have to say is AMEN!

Your rant was in just cause, mine today touched as well on the sudden outbreak. Enough said!

Good luck with your goal this week! You can do it! Take care and have a great week!

pezzy34 on 06/09/2002:
You rock! LOL I know it is obsession with me, when I actually had a thought.... keep in mind I didn't actually say this out loud... just thought it... "do my vitamins have calories?" Okay, so I'm not proud of that, but it still crossed my mind and then was quickly dismissed as "oh god woman, what is wrong with you!" Just don't go around telling everyone that I'm that much of a freak. bye!

TATERHOG on 06/09/2002:
Thanks for the encouraging email, it really helps to have you and everyone else out there supporting me. I cannot believe what an excellent job you do of tracking calories--I can't, no won't be that precise, I just get impatient!! I guess having a finance degree makes me sick of numbers at some levels. Maybe when I get a lot closer to my goal weight I will give you a shout for calorie counting ideas, but that is such a long rode away. I have a general sense of things, and try to focus more on eating healthy at this stage. Keep up the good work and I strongly agree with your comments today, this site is far above the individuals out there who choose to go down the "unhealthy path" of weight control. We want to lose to be healthy and feel great about and with ourselves, not just to please others!! Okay, now I'm running off at the mouth!! Have a great week and keep counting the calories, it definitly is working!!!

eighty-five on 06/10/2002:
I really liked what you wrote to MichelleP about vigilance. That is the right attitude for me today. If I am vigilant, I will not make many bad choices, and when I do, staying vigilant will keep me from making more. I just looked up the word- from the Latin for "to keep watch". That's my job now- to keep watch over myself always, and love myself, whether I'm "good" or "bad". Thanks!

biscottibody59 - Friday Jun 07, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 145
Calories: 2850; Burned: 2826; 6% Activities; Overage: 24

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know. --Michel de Montaigne

Happy Friday!

A second attempt at my entry! I drank >60 oz water. Did more yard work and raking and I'm still exhausted. But that could be because of the large amount of pizza I ate too! I had one good meal (lunch) yesterday. Not that the pizza wasn't good, but it isn't what I would choose to further my success. I also took a 10 min walk.

I face an urgent need to lose about 15 more pounds and I am implementing a plan to do my Circuit Aerobic Workout every other day and my NordicTrack for 20-40 min in the morning. The good news is that my plan doesn't need Congressional approval and shouldn't create a new bureaucracy:-) Unless someone knows something I don't.

Where's JellyBelly been all these days? Check in with us please!

Hope you have a good food choice day! See ya' later!

sacfatcity on 06/07/2002:
Sounds like a good plan, do your best to stick w/it. I'm having trouble sticking to my morning exercise plan (I'm a night owl). I wanted to take off 15lbs by July 17th, this goal is diminishing as we speak, but I still think if I work hard enough I can do it(3lbsx5weeks) Let's try to take 15 off together!! WE CAN DO IT. Get your exercise in, I'll be in the gym tonight!! Have a great day!

Crittermama on 06/07/2002:
I've been missing Jelly Belly too. I hope she's okay.

pezzy34 on 06/08/2002:
I sat and read a bunch of your diary entries and realized that we are doing pretty much the same thing and you have no idea how much you comforted me! I went over in calories yesterday and beat myself up about it all day and then weighed in heavier today, which I know is because all of that food is still sitting in there and the weight will go down in a few days, but you still get yourself into this psychotic mind set. Well, anyway, back to my point! I feel better after reading that you go over sometimes too. I also noticed that you keep track of everything most of the time like I do, and I never was sure if I was prudent and devoted or crazy and obsessed. I am sticking with the theory that it is devotion and not obsession! Thanks to you! You are also currently at my goal weight for July, so with a bit more work I will make it there too! Thank you for being an inspiration and not even knowing it!

biscottibody59 - Thursday Jun 06, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Days 143 & 144
No new tales to tell!

A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval.
--Mark Twain

Happy Thursday!

Oh woe is me--pity party potatoes (too easy to make--not worth it!). I can't really eat whatever the hell I want anymore because food like this (especially in mass quantities) is like a drug and you have to come down from a drug--right?--and then you want more drug--not a pretty scenario.

Onward and upward with food choices and (having recovered from a quite a bit of yardwork) back to some positive "me" exercise! Again I'll put it down on here: my short-term goal is 151 pounds. I did a couple of measurements and I have lost a quarter of an inch in my arm--but waist and a couple others were up or unchanged.

Gotta go . . . see you all later!

sacfatcity on 06/06/2002:
POTATOES!! The bane of our existence! They are so addicting, just look at all our potato products, fries, chips, mashies, baked, wedges... Try sweet potatoes, so much better for you. Good luck staying on track, you can do it!! Have a healthy day.

momof4 on 06/06/2002:
I like that short term goal - it is hard to keep going sometimes when all you see is the total you want to lose -- I think I'll go for 151 too!! Lets do it !!! I did my exercises tonight - now I have to hit the shower!

biscottibody59 - Tuesday Jun 04, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 142
No Counts Until Tomorrow!

Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. --Ambrose Bierce

Hi and Happy Tuesday!

I tried a bite of the Burger King Veggie--it was good, but $1.99 seemed a little high. A better choice though fatwise? Haven't checked out the nutritional info. I drank >60 oz water, not enough after working in the late heat.

What can I say. I ate a couple of choc chip cookies--not something I do often, but they were very satisfactory:-)

I just don't have much to say today! I'll see ya'll later!

kyrin on 06/04/2002:
Is there any meat on that veggie thing? I haven't seen it advertised on the TV yet...and don't go fast fooding very often.

Mmmmmmm! Those cookies sounded good. ...and your name doesn't help. Everytime that I check on you, I start wondering what kind of biscotti I should make. (We <i>love</i> them!) Guess that I should get busy and try to forget about munching on something that I don't need to be eating.

Keep on hanging in there!



biscottibody59 - Monday Jun 03, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Days 139-141
Didn't Count Calories, etc.--Did a bunch of outdoors work!

When you blame others, you give up your power to change.
--Douglas Adams

Hi People!

Let's just say, I kicked my ass cleaning up the yard! Yesterday, I ate 3 homemade grilled greasy hamburgers--mmmm!, 3 slices of french bread with butter and raspberry jam, 2 cans of Pepsi, 2 coffees with milk, 2 servings of oatmeal with soymilk, about 80 oz water, a serving of PowerAde (blue flavor!) and that was it--not good food choices, but I feel pretty good today. I really thought my back would feel much worse. Getting in reasonably good physical condition seems to have paid off--I haven't done this kind of yard work in ages.

I will have to finish up a few loose ends yardwise today, so food won't be good--my choice! I'm going to go back to decent choices tomorrow and get up and exercise!!!

Ya'll have a goody--day, food, or exercise . . . see ya' later!

Butterf;y21373 on 06/03/2002:
I did a lot of yard work too on my vacation....and that is definitely a workout! I trimmed our holly bushes one day with our electric hedger and boy was that an arm muscle workout! I even read in Self magazine that 1 hour of mowing the yard burns like 380 calories....not too shabby!! Have a great day!!

cHARLIEaNGEL on 06/03/2002:
You are so right. I have been not as strict with my diet as I should be but since I have been exercising and working out in the yard I haven't slipped back up the scale, instead I've been maintaining....which is a good thing to know, because I plan to kick it into overdrive now and want to be sure that I can maintain the loss. Afterall, I've lost the weight before, the trick is to keep it off....and still be sane! PS I had two slices of bread with butter and jam too....last night at 12:30.....don't know what came over me...just had to have it! Better than ice cream, I guess! I'm just rambling on her when I just wanted to tell you that you are such a special person and to thank you for being here and sharing! Charlotte

pastagal on 06/03/2002:
I think sometimes the body just really needs a good greasy Hambuger or two:}} Ok,,,now that you had three of them,,start fresh and have a wonderful day:}}

biscottibody59 - Friday May 31, 2002
(Activities At Least 10%; Eat 1400-1800 Calories)
Weight: 165.0

Day 138
Calories: 2152; Burned: 3062; 13% Activities; Deficit: 910

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
--Groucho Marx

Hi All!

I obviously lived to eat today; I made twice baked potatoes and just couldn't resist, but that's about all I ate for supper. Next time I'll modify the recipe and use reduced fat cheese. (I did use lo-fat sour cream, but regular old butter.)

I drank >60 oz water and did 46 min on the NordicTrack. I also did 60 leg lifts (3 sets of 20) and 45 pushups (3 sets of 15), the on-your-knees (easier!) kind hahaha!

I hope you have a good exercise day!

sacfatcity on 05/31/2002:
Great work with your exercise. I'm a potato freak too, I love potatoes and find them very hard to resist. You should see me at Thanksgiving time, I try to hoard the mashies. I could eat a whole plateful of smashed potatoes :) Hmmmm now I'm getting hungry better quit writing before I run off and buy a big bag of potatoes :) Have a great weekend.

Beth on 05/31/2002:
Oh man, I just love twice baked potatoes. Good for you just having that for dinner. Have a nice evening.

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