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graindart - Wednesday Jul 11, 2018
(OMAD, LCHF, counting calories)
Weight: 192.0

Day 3 completed successfully.

Yesterday was spent mostly just working / sitting in front of the computer screen. 

Ended the day with a softball game.  When I signed up to play this season, I thought it was going to be fun and something that I looked forward to.  Quite the opposite.  So far I really don't enjoy playing and it feels like just another committment on my calendar that I have to do.  I committed to it, so will continue through this season, but highly doubt I'll sign up again next year.

After a softball game a few weeks ago, the family was walking back to the parking lot.  I commented that I didn't really think that softball was "my game".  One of my daughters quickly piped up and said: "Yeah dad.  And by the way we beat you playing 'HORSE' the other day, I'd say basketball isn't 'your game' either."  (HORSE is a basketball shooting game.)  (She said it as a joke, not to be demeaning or disrespectful.)

Worked quite a bit yesterday so that I could kind of take a day off today.  Nothing fun planned, but am just getting some non-work tasks completed today.

On to conquer day 4.....

Progress as of today: 91 lbs lost so far, only 17 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 07/11/2018:
Have you liked playing in the past? I have troubles finding things I like to do as well. I just hope it doesn't turn tedious to you.

graindart on 07/11/2018:
Haven't really played softball / baseball since I was 10 years old (30+ years ago). Thought it would be fun to try again. Found out that I'd prefer not having the additional scheduled commitments, especially during the summer.

bearcountrygg on 07/11/2018:
Sounds like when kids join a team and then don't enjoy it….but we make them continue on anyway......at least you are setting a good example for the kids!! Hope the season goes by quickly!

happy-1 on 07/11/2018:
Ha ha ha ha ha... This is how I feel about almost everything. I don't enjoy it until I've adapted to it and then can think about things going on in it that are interesting.

Maybe tennis? The back and forth ponging of the ball is super satisfying/zen meditative and I can totally focus on it and enjoy it. Plus lessons with your girls would help them learn something new too.

I guess tennis is to me as laser pointers are to cats.

Donkey on 07/11/2018:
I loved baseball/softball as a kid. Now I just don't have the patience for it, even when my team is winning. Watching, participating - nope, the love is gone.

I've been thinking about your needing to find a goal (before you decided to do another OMAD), but I see you've already come to the conclusion that I had: sometimes, a goal can be a series of successful days. Heck, sometimes, getting through ONE day is goal enough!

I was also going to suggest maybe adding a mile a day on the treadmill -- what would that take you, maybe 15 minutes depending on if you ran or walked. But then I realized that exercise-oriented goals aren't really your thing. And that's fine. Bodies are built at the table, not at the gym.

horn_of_plenty on 07/12/2018:
Well, in order to get better at anything, you need practice. Perhaps that's what's going on with your game? also, maybe it's just a personality thing and those are players' personalities are not meshing with yours? then i could understand not wanting to play on the team again...

good job on Day 3.

graindart on 07/12/2018:
Not a personality thing, everyone's very friendly and supportive. Not really about the game itself or my skill level. I think I'd just rather not have the additional weekly commitment.

horn_of_plenty on 07/12/2018:
i understand exactly what you mean about a commitment that at first it seems fun until the actual commitment of it leaves you stressed...that is starting to be my problem this summer...fun commitments but not enough alone time and it's not meshing well for me or my stress levels.

graindart - Tuesday Jul 10, 2018
(OMAD, LCHF, counting calories)
Weight: 194.0

Day 2 successfully completed.

Yesterday had a 4 hour monotonous round trip drive for work.  Packed some drinks / snack and was able to stay on track.

Summer really kicked in and the highs have been 92-99 pretty much every day for the past week or so.  Saturday the high is supposed to be in the 70's, which will be a nice change.  Not looking forward to playing softball tonight in the mid-90's.

On to conquer day 3.....

Progress as of today: 89 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/10/2018:
Good day staying with your program!

happy-1 on 07/10/2018:
You're clearly built Ford tough!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2018:
so proud of you! really loving your post today too!

good plans for the drive...good to be prepared. i had a lighter lunch, thank gosh!, today...because i planned it!

graindart - Monday Jul 09, 2018
(OMAD, LCHF, counting calories)
Weight: 194.0

Just a quick entry before jumping into work stuff.

Did a 4 week round of OMAD with LCHF a few months ago.  With my recent difficulty in getting back on track, I decided to give it another try.  So yesterday went successfully, although it's a good thing that I had limited quantity of food on hand at home.  While I had no desire to overeat the food I had on hand, I probably would've continued munching if there would've been a bag of pork rinds in the house.  On to conquer day 2.

Progress as of today: 89 lbs lost so far, only 19 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/09/2018:
Glad you have decided to work on that again.

horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2018:
Yes ! Loving your winning attitude ! Love this entry !

graindart - Sunday Jul 08, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 198.0

Yesterday started out good, but ended badly.  Was fully under control until 7pm.  Then decided to get a salad from McDonalds.  Once in the drive-thru, decided to add a McChicken sandwich.  Then it snowballed over the next couple hours with a couple more restaurant pop-ins.  Once I got home I wanted to continue eating, but I emptied the house of food a couple days ago, so I stopped.  Today is starting off good.  I won't be going to any restaurants tonight........ 

Was bored yesterday afternoon and went over to my sisters house to talk for an hour or so.  She's kind of in the same place mentally that I am.  She was eating better and exercising for several months leading up to the Alaskan cruise last month.  Now that it's over, neither of use have any real desire / motivation to eat right or exercise.

I feel like I'm now on the defensive, instead of offensive.  Before I was working towards a goal.  I had desire and motivation.  I wanted to accomplish the goal.

Now that the cruise is over, I'm just trying not to slip up and fall backwards too much.

I know I need to have a goal to work towards.  I'm just that type of person.  With that said, I can't think of a goal that I'm willing to set and commit to.  There are plenty of goals that I could arbitrarily set, but none that I can think of that have a payoff that I'm actually willing to work towards right now.

Oh well.  Even without a grand goal in place, I still need to finish today off successfully.

Progress as of today: 85 lbs lost so far, only 23 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/08/2018:
I get it all...I've been there too...if we were naturally thin we would be ready to kill for a carrot….but we aren't...….we have elevated food so high in our minds that it is like entertainment/reward/happiness and life...all rolled into one. That is exactly what the food industry wants us to feel......they make money...we make fat cells...they know our fat cells are hard to say no to...and they just keep convincing us to make more. We need to find something that is more important to us then food.....and maybe that something is life...….you have 2 young ladies there that will most likely one day be bringing home guys that they want you to meet....and it would be nice if those guys are good to your daughters and treat them as well as you treat your girls....you are their male roll model....you want to set a good example for them..to help them choose well.....and most likely there will also be little grandchildren...who you will want to spend active time with....a healthy Granpa will be a great gift to give them. I'm sure you will want to have many years with your wife after the girls are grown..and you 2 can travel or do things on the spur of the moment..because kids and their activities will be done. You can do this because you will be fit and healthy for your family ….and for all of the exciting new things that will come along with your childrens futures....get out and throw a ball around with the kids...they will love the time with you...and you will get the added benefits of spending time with them...and the calorie burning.

graindart on 07/08/2018:
Stop making sense. This is all about ME, what I want, and what makes ME feel good.

Of course my above statement is just joking around. I do understand and agree with what you wrote. Logically I know that eating right and in moderation is what's best for both myself and my family. However my sugar-obsessed brain just keeps yelling out that I'm depriving myself for no reason at all.....

I don't have a desire to overeat salad greens. I can overeat meat and cheese, but it's not usually an issue. Carbs.... once I start eating them, I have little desire to stop until they're all gone. I guess I need to go back and look at my entries when I went low-carb for 4 weeks and see how that went.

bearcountrygg on 07/08/2018:
Carbs are evil necessities....unfortunately we never learned to love things that didn't contain sugar.....we were raised to think that sugar was a reward..…..even babies prefer sugar to bitter, sour or bland…...and they have nothing to base that on other than what they perceive sugar to be...( delish). Really...the more we beat ourselves up...the more we want to sooth ourselves with carbs....fact is...carbs are brain food...they make us happy.....we just abuse them. We need to eat them...in moderation...we just need to learn to control the amount.....we all need to figure out HOW we will control it....maybe allow so many carbs per day...then the carb kitchen is closed...until the next day...in the meantime...the veggie kitchen is open if we need food. Or the pure protein kitchen is still open.....we don't have to starve...we just have to control the carb kitchen.

graindart - Saturday Jul 07, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 197.0

Yesterday I was completely back in control of food.  At the end of the day my mind did start reasoning with itself, saying "you've been good".  "You really should reward yourself with food for being so good."  I ignored myself.

Softball went better for me last night, even though as a team we had our first loss of the season.

The wife and kids flew off on the 5th to visit the in-laws for 10 days, so I'm home alone.  It's a weird feeling.  I both enjoy the "me-time" and also feel lonely at the same time. 

Without them here it should be easier to stay on track food-wise.  As long as I keep on-track, I should be around day 8 or 9 in a row by the time they get back next week.  It's always a struggle to get back on plan after going off-plan for a few days.  This time I effective jumped off the wagon for 1 full month.  It was only supposed to be around 10-12 days for the cruise and travel back/forth.  I don't regret the 10-12 days that I planned for, but do wish I could go back in time and have got back on-plan as soon as it was over.

One of the effects of stuffing my face for 1 month was that I went from averaging around 180lbs to seeing myself pop over 200lbs again.  I never intended to see my weight start with a "2" ever again.  It was totally avoidable, but I was stupid.  I kept stuffing my face daily and saw my weight stay in the mid to high 190's for most of the time.  Then one day it jumped from high 190's to low 200's and I realized that I had screwed up in a major way.  I finally realized that I was either going to get back in control of food or I was going to head straight back towards the 283 lbs I weighed last year.

With the 1 month weight gain, my clothes are fitting extra snug.  My belt loop is out 2 more notches.  All of my new size medium shirts now have to be pre-stretched if I want to fit in them somewhat comfortably.  Several of my new shorts / jeans are now too small to fit into comfortably.  I'm down to wearing a few size large shirts that I still had in the closet, along with 2 pairs of shorts and a couple of larger jeans that I hadn't gotten rid of yet.  I did think about running to the store to buy a few shorts / shirts in a size that would be comfortable right now, but decided against it.  I figure the limited wardrobe and tighter fitting clothing will be a constant reminder that I need to stay on track.  A week or two of being 100% on track should be all it takes for the clothes to start feeling decent again.

At the softball game last night I was talking with a friend who is about my age.  He asked how much I weighed and said I was looking really good.  I told him I wished he had asked a month ago, because I had just put on 25 lbs since then.  He mentioned that he has been trying to eat right, but has been stuck around 250 lbs for awhile now.  I told him what had worked for me when I initially lost 100 lbs.  Him mentioning my weightloss and looking good was extra motivation for me to stay on-plan yesterday.  Sometimes I forget that being more healthy isn't just for me and my family's benefit.  It's also motivation for others that know me and are overweight.  Once you see someone you know successfully make a positive change, it's motivating.  That's actually what got me started on my diet when I weighed 283 last year.  My best friend lost 40+ lbs and was starting to work out.  I knew he was on a diet at the time, but kept waiting for him to screw up and gain it all back.  In my mind, it was ok that I was fat as long as he failed and was still fat like me.  When I realized he was actually going to succeed, I decided I really didn't want to be known as "the fat friend".  It was the motivation I needed at the time. 

I'm guessing guys minds work differently than gals.  When the friend at softball asked how much I weighed, I wasn't offended at all and offered up the number even though it was more than I wanted to weigh at present.  In fact I've asked a couple other "fit" male friends over the past 6 months how much they weighed.  Generally for guys it's just trying to analyze things in order to set a goal.  Like everyone, the heavier we are, the less comfortable we are about sharing what we weigh.  While I didn't have a problem with the question, I'm guessing it probably would've been considered rude between females in general.  Or maybe I'm wrong......

I wanted to make sure to let you all know that I appreciate the responses to my entries, especially when I haven't posted for a few days.  Without accountability it's easy to go off-plan and stay off-plan.  When I get the email notification that I've got a reply, it's a reminder that I need to keep on-track (or get back on-track).

Progress as of today: 86 lbs lost so far, only 22 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/07/2018:
Congrats for ignoring the little voice that wanted you to reward yourself...…..that's what it is all about. I agree with getting by with the clothes you already have.....getting new bigger ones will be like giving yourself the ok to gain again. If you could deal with it...some people do well with 1 cheat day a week...a specific...firm day.....I don't think I would do well with that...but many do. Apparently they are able to wait for the day...

graindart on 07/07/2018:
I've tried one cheat day per week, but my 1 day usually turns into 3 or more days.

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
Ha, this is why I am tucking all my larger clothes in my mom's closet... If I can't get to larger clothes I'll feel the pinch as my jeans don't fit.

bearcountrygg on 07/07/2018:
I do get rid of clothes as hey get too big.....but I always keep a very few stretchy things to get by with if it all goes wrong.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
staying away from energy drinks and caffeine will help rid yourself of some food cravings...caffeine always gets me MORE ravenous (though i like it, so i am not interested right now in stopping all caffeine....). though lately i had some energy drinks which helped cause new face breakouts! ugh!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
the only way you could have possibly done better after coming home from your trip would be to have made sure right away to have a LOT of healthy food options back at home right away when you got back - by going out and getting them ASAP.

also, after many days of high calorie eating, the body DOES have trouble bouncing right back and i general i myself have some trouble and usually new a few days to inch myself back to lower cals, it may not happen in 24 hours..could take a few days to get all the way back and body feel used to the lower cals.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
i have a few friends who see me successful at taking off a lot of pounds too (around 20-30lbs overall from the highest points in my life) and when they see me continue to keep most off, they are inspired.

i also have friends that WISH they could do it, and a particular friend i'm thinking about now who when i see tries to get me to eat poorly and doesn't really understand what i takes to lose weight and keep it off because his schedule is so much more relaxed than mine...he doesn't understand my lifestyle and it's actually starting to bother me as he thinks i shouldn't be able to "love" the gym....oh, he'd never understand what it's like to work and have hobbies that you actually want to stick with...i'm sorry he thinks my life is so menial.

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
Speaking of motivation... how cool does this look???? You go for runs and virtually play zombie apocalypse. They've gotten to 2 seasons!!! https://zombiesrungame.com

graindart - Friday Jul 06, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 204.0

Started yesterday good.  Had tons of work to get done and decided to eat an apple part way through the day as a break.  Followed right away by popcorn.  Followed right away by hamburger and chicken breast.  Then I didn't stop until around 9pm.......  Had a lot of monotonous work and I used the food to just try to cope.

Only good thing from yesterday was that I didn't drink anything with calories or caffeine.

Today is starting off ok.  

Progress as of today: 79 lbs lost so far, only 29 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/06/2018:
Good start today!

happy-1 on 07/06/2018:
Good job!!!

Donkey on 07/07/2018:
Well, keep trying... At least you are being completely honest about using food as a coping mechanism, and I feel, at least in my journey, that this is an important step to take to true behavior modification. I've done it: I am feeling (whatever) and I am using food to help me get through this, and I'm OK with that because I do what I have to do to get through (whatever) until I can do better. Does that sound too corny? Probably, but it's helped me.

When I was at my heaviest at this job, I found myself using food to cope with stress. So at around 3pm when everyone is emailing and I'm pressing to get deadlines met, I'd head for the chips. (My male co-worker still does this on almost a daily basis.) I found that interrupting my work to get food - and then to eat the food - would slow down the work that I was needing to get done - so counterproductive!

Now I get up and take a walk - usually to get the mail, to go outside to get something out of the car (real or not), to go downstairs for ice cubes or raw vegetables that I keep in the downstairs fridge specifically so that I have to walk to get it... I also make sure I have water (flavored) and sugar free candies (mint seems to calm me down).

Now I'm just babbling about myself... I guess my question would be that if you're using food to break up the monotonous work, don't you too find this to slow you down? Or does eating make you more productive?

The real important question is: how do you eat at your desk without spilling something or getting messy fingers onto your keyboard???? This is totally my downfall ;-)

graindart on 07/07/2018:
Using food to cope while working is completely counter-productive and I know that even while I'm stuffing my face.

I think the reason I use the food sometimes is that it keeps me at my desk. So I might only be 75% as productive as usual, but at least I'm getting stuff done. I've found that when I run an errand to break up the monotony, I might waste an hour or more and then feel even less like getting my work done when I get back.

graindart - Monday Jul 02, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 197.1

Just a placeholder entry.

Decided to just stay off diet plan until after the 4th of July.  We're having a lot of friends / family over for the 4th and will have them take all of the leftover food with them as they leave.  The wife and kids are leaving early on the 5th to visit the in-laws for 10 days, so it'll just be me at home.  The house will be pretty devoid of food and I'll just go buy a very limited amount of stuff that I plan to eat.  Should be able to get back on track pretty easy without food temptations or special get-togethers planned while the family is gone.

So on the 5th I'll be back, on track, and catching up on everyone's entries.  Have a happy and safe 4th.

Progress as of today: 85.9 lbs lost so far, only 22.1 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
You get me time and a staycation!!! Good for you!

bearcountrygg on 07/02/2018:
Sounds like a plan

Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2018:
Well, thank you for saving your spot :)

I hope you have a wonderful 4th of July too...today we are having bagels at work, i am not even in the mood, but figure i'll enjoy it. planning around having a bagel with cream cheese :) bagels tend to not fill me at all and i get hungry soon after, but i'm choosing to enjoy it...i think? after writing how i feel about bagels, i'm not even wanting it...

enjoy all your get togethers.

Donkey on 07/04/2018:
Hope you have a nice day with your family today. I'm glad you posted a placeholder entry. Sometimes, it helps just to acknowledge one's place - "this is where I'm at" - with no comment or criticism (from one's self).

graindart - Wednesday Jun 27, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 197.1

In response to Donkey's question:

How am I doing pertaining to life, family, wife, daughters, work, and everything else besides eating right?  Great!

How am I doing food-wise?  Terrible.  And all of my new clothes bought over the past few months are starting to feel snug. 

It's kind of a "perfect storm" type of time period right now.  Got back from the cruise and now don't have a specific goal in mind to work towards.  Without specific goals, I tend to get lazy and revert to old ways of eating.  So no current goal coupled with 3 or so weeks of bad eating have taken their toll.  Have restarted a plan a few times since getting back, but keep choosing to jump off the tracks.  Wasn't going to stay on plan for our 19th wedding anniversary.  Took the family camping in the woods and fully planned on eating plenty of hot dogs / marshmallows / smores / etc.  Just got back today and tonight's "date night", so don't want to be back on track today.  Then 4th of July is one week away and I know that's going to be off-plan.  Right now, planning on getting back on-plan tomorrow and attempting to make it up to the 4th of July.  Go off-plan on the 4th.  Then the wife and kids leave on the 5th to visit the in-laws for 10 days.  In theory, those 10 days should be easier to get back on track since I won't have any additional food distractions.

I really just need to figure out exactly what I'd like.  Right now, I think weighing in the 170's feels good and looks pretty good.  So I'm leaning towards getting back into the 170's and then just transitioning into "maintenance" mode for awhile.  My mind has been on "dieting" for the past 14-15 months and it's mentally exhausting to have dwelled on the same thing for such a long period of time.  I'd like to be able to relax somewhat, but without throwing all of my hard work away.

Ideally I'd like to figure out a change of career that would still bring in similar money, but allow me to be more active.  My current career pays well, but the busier I am with work, the more I just sit in front of a computer for hours upon hours.  Then I want to combat the boredom and monotony with food.  I need to find a way to get paid to ride my dirt bike in the woods on a daily basis........

Progress as of today: 85.9 lbs lost so far, only 22.1 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/27/2018:
Sounds like you need an annual guys weekend ritual of doing a tough mudder. Motivate you all to do well or at least as good as the other guy.

graindart on 06/27/2018:
Competition does drive us "men-folk". But I'm already winning at the man-race with all but one of my friends. And I'm not willing to put in the effort to catch up with him. He goes to the gym twice per day for a total of 4 or 5 hours per day, 6 days per week. While he physically is looking great and says he enjoys it, I just don't understand how someone can spend that many hours doing something so mind-numbingly boring.

But like you said, I probably do need some type of event goal to keep me working in the right direction.

horn_of_plenty on 06/28/2018:
Hi Gains :-P I hope you still enjoy this nickname :-P I’m also happy that you are still logging into DD and we are lucky enough to receive a “Graindart Update!”

What happened to you after the cruise is a typical pattern with so many folks including myself. Like you, I have had instances, def more than 1, where I have reached a goal or reached a very happy place in terms of body look / diet / exercise only to reach it and have no new goal or motivation enough to keep on going.

But sometimes the issue is not just reaching a goal and having nowhere else to go. It’s also finding healthy habits that make it EASIER to remain at goal when motivation is lacking. This part of the process is the nutrition / calories / diet part and less the exercise part. I think this is the part that is frustrating you as you wrote above. Now that the trip is over, I recommend you try to eat in a way that you enjoy…and find ways to be able to enjoy life and not feel like diet is such a nasty task. Who would want to go thru life always on a diet, struggling. Yes, I too have my struggles…but what I’m saying is – especially bc you work from home – you have the opportunity to have the foods at your reach and have all kinds of good options. Eh. ..

What I’m saying is, instead of denying yourself like what you were in a habit of doing before the cruise, perhaps try to give your body more? Try to find what could work in the long term now. This is sorta what you had in mind coming back from the trip.

Who knows, perhaps you are a OMAD / IF person, just not everyday? The ball will always be in your court, it’s your life, it’s what you choose :-P Reminding you that it doesn’t all after to be only one way or the highway. Lifestyle and diet can be a mix of dietary options. For instance, I like to fill up and feel full. By doing this at times with vegetables, my diet can include lots of volume and I can fill my stomach but calories are not totally blown up out of proportion and weight gain is mostly prevented.

Same with that ice cream I like. I can eat my full share and not feel like I have to diet the next day. For me, it was finding some alternatives to be able to continue eating to feel full. I’m not saying my way is the only way though! I wish I always didn’t need so much volume or crave it. But, like I said, it works for me.

At times, I WISH I could be satisfied with a small sandwich or grilled cheese or something of that nature as it’s nice to be able to eat junk food and be thin, right? But I have a big appetite, so small amounts of junk food generally are not what I want.… But for some reason, I always crave VOLUME in my meals…but those other foods like grilled cheese (bad example bc I really don’t eat it bc it doesn’t fill me up) …but like the peanut butter – which I was in a previous habit of enjoying in a wrap for breakfast sometimes with my own sweetened with stevia cranberries..pb was not off limits…but when I crave to be full, I know what to do. For instance at work I generally have wraps for breakfast. They are small and I make them at home. I drink a full cup of coffee after to fill me up on top of the small wrap. Coffee is part of the plan…my volume plan…to filling my stomach.

So, in terms of diet, a lot of my habits that help me “stay sane” is making sure many of my meals have a moderate to high volume so I can feel full.

And like I was saying with all or nothing, perhaps if you have all these special occasions, it doesn’t have to be “all or nothing” days. Perhaps now while everything is volatile, try to have good days on the days that aren’t celebratory or have tons of food…and on the days where there is celebrations, perhaps allow yourself small / moderate tastes of the treats…and also try to plan to choose healthy things. Like can’t you fill up on a veggie tray / bring a veggie tray and bring seltzer / diet drinks. So eat the food, but then switch over to the healthier options. That’s how I have been successful more or less.

With maintenance, there are times that your weight will go up a little as it has now…and also you will be able to eat more with more muscle mass…so keep on with your exercise. Remember that even maintenance is hard work as you see with folks on here that maintain – like myself and donkey.

Can’t you just exercise more without changing careers? Are you sure you really want to change a career if you are already successful??? Or, perhaps you can have a dirt bike riding park for kids!

Donkey on 06/28/2018:
Like yourself and Horn, I've been in that tough spot where you've accomplished a goal and then you're left with, "Now what?" It took me a week or 2 to get back on track and find "the love" again, if you know what I mean. I also agree with you that timing is everything. So I've been in both spots before.

When it's right, it clicks. When it's wrong, it doesn't stick.

I thought of you this morning when they had on the news some guy setting the new plank record. He set it last night and then was trying again today to break his own record that he just set the day before. 8 hours. Of plank. Talk about boring! He starts each day with a 2 hour plank -- probably just falls back asleep in the plank position -- and 1000 push-ups a day.

I guess my point is that if that guy can find "the love" in doing an 8-hour plank, then I'm pretty confident you'll find your motivation again soon. Keep trying!

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
the guy friend that is in the gym for hours, is he single!? i doubt he can be married with kids and do that kind of time consuming isolated from family exercise??? does he work!? does he work from home??? how does he do it...timewise i couldn't.

i'm sure he is in great form!

graindart on 06/29/2018:
He's married, with 5 teenage kids. Him and his wife go to the gym for several hours each day together, 6 days per week. He's a realtor, so has a flexible schedule.

Both him and his wife are looking really fit. I just don't understand why people put that much effort into something so repetitive, with little payoff (other than looking good). It'd be different if they used their fitness and muscles to do something (sports, outdoor activities, paid to train others, etc). But they just basically live in the gym. They say they enjoy it, so good for them. (Personally I think it's a waste of time.)

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
maybe it helps them "play the realtor part" in selling homes by also looking good? i am sure all the compliments makes them want to keep going ...interesting.

5 kids!

interesting couple. def not the norm! i'm sure they are a bit inspirational, even if you don't want to be them!

graindart on 06/29/2018:
It's a combined family from previous marriages. Not much inspiration-wise, except for the fitness side of things. Hadn't really thought about it, but looking fit very well may contribute to making more money in the realtor game......

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
maybe it helps them "play the realtor part" in selling homes by also looking good? i am sure all the compliments makes them want to keep going ...interesting.

5 kids!

interesting couple. def not the norm! i'm sure they are a bit inspirational, even if you don't want to be them!

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:

graindart - Sunday Jun 24, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 191.1

Yesterday was back on track with OMAD and counting calories.  Still drinking a ton of zero calorie pop and zero calorie energy drinks.  Love the taste, but don't enjoy the way the large amounts of caffeine are making my head feel.  Have around a case of my favorite high-caffeine cans left.  Bought several 12-packs of zero calorie cans of caffeine free pop.  Going to try switching to the caffeine free stuff after I run out of the heavily caffeinated cans and see if I can deal.


Progress as of today: 91.9 lbs lost so far, only 32.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/24/2018:
Maybe alternate between caffeine and non-caffeine drinks, to balance it out. I've had that weird feeling when I've had too much caffeine --- just have to ride it out, as I do not know of a way to counteract the effects. Caffeine helps me feel focused, "up" and alert -- but too much tends to make me feel jittery and unable to focus. Strange how that works... too much of a good thing.

Donkey on 06/24/2018:
And good for you for getting back on track as soon as possible. Keep trying with this.

bearcountrygg on 06/24/2018:
I love diet pop...but it makes my joints hurt for some reason...and it always has...even when I was young.

horn_of_plenty on 06/25/2018:
yeah...please switch to some caffeine free drinks...it will be better for you and less dehydrating...it will also make you less prone to binge as much as the caffeine wont get you jittery and such...

also make sure to include water too / seltzer....

my friend told me about alkaline water recently...cool stuff...it has a more basic PH more alkaline than regular water, it's very good for your body. I will start drinking it moderately in addition to regular water...disease and cancer and stuff comes when we are more acidic...so the alkaline water is so cool

i have 3 brands to choose from by me :) supposedly its VERY good for your body's PH levels.

horn_of_plenty on 06/25/2018:
i am with Donkey...i HATE how i feel when i have too much caffeine in me...

Donkey on 06/27/2018:
How are you doing?

graindart on 06/27/2018:
Thanks for the comment. It made me post a new entry.

graindart - Saturday Jun 23, 2018
(OMAD, counting calories)
Weight: 199.4

So the cruise was enjoyable.  It was mostly relaxing and I didn't think about work much.  It was good to sit down with most of the family every night at the formal dining.  There were 16 of us (8 adults, 8 children), so we switched up where we sat each night.  The wife and daughters really enjoyed dressing up each night.  In the past I really haven't enjoyed wearing suits / tuxedos.  This time I was at a much lower weight, so the tuxedo and other dress clothes fit correctly and I actually didn't mind it.  Family time was the main reason for the cruise.  We did a lot of walking around, talking, and relaxing together.  Used the rock climbing wall on the ship several times and it was nice being able to do that successfully.  I definitely couldn't have done as well when I weighed 280 lbs.  Also did the Flowrider on the final day.  It was closed most of the cruise due to temperature, rain, wind, etc.  On the final day the daughters and myself went bright and early and we had it all to ourselves for the first 20 minutes.  And the next 20 minutes after that there were just a few others that showed up.  We have a Flowrider here locally, but they only allow using the body board / kneeboard.  The one on the ship also had small skim surfboards that you were allowed to stand up on. 

Bungee jump off the 150' bridge was insane!  I've posted a link at the bottom of this post to the youtube video I took of my 13 year old daughter doing it after I went.  I have video of my jump, but haven't taken the time to edit and upload it yet.  I did a quick edit of hers so that she could show to her friends. 

I've done several other things that have given me adrenaline rushes and mild amounts of fear.  There are times that my current dirt biking has some terrain that a mis-step could result in major bodily harm.  I was into racing cars for a few years.  I've gone parasailing, raced road motorcycles, jetskis, snowmobiles, etc.  Have ridden pretty much every type of rollercoaster and fair attraction.  Even got strapped into a bungee slingshot device that sent you around 100 feet in the air, but you were in a partially enclosed metal cage.  None of it even comes close to the fear that I encountered during my bungee jump last week.

For the bungee jump, I went first and then my daughter went.  The bungee jump was definitely the scariest thing I've ever done in my life by far.  I thought I was a "manly man" and didn't think I'd have any problem doing the jump.  I found out differently when I arrived on site.  In the past I've seen bungee jumping on TV, Youtube, etc.  I remember watching contestants on The Amazing Race get to bungee jump obstacles and break down in tears because they were just too scared to do it.  I always thought they were acting way too scared for something like that.  I now fully understand the fear.

The drive to the bungee jump bridge is one of the most beautiful drives I've ever taken.  The jump was near Whistler, British Columbia (Canada) and the drive was along the west coast with high rugged mountains, ocean, and lots of green.  I was suprised to see the amount of snow still on the tops of the mountains since it's right on the coast.  We had a couple hour drive from the hotel to the jump bridge.  It was a calm and relaxing drive and the girls were slipping in and out of sleep most of the way.  Got to the bridge around 9:15am for the 10am jump.  Arrived early so that I could setup video cameras on tripods at different vantage points.  Still calm.  Around 9:45am started the short trail walk up to the one end of the bridge.  Still calm.  Started crossing the bridge and around halfway across stopped to look over the side at the rushing river below.  Instant anxiety, definitely NOT calm.  I suddenly realized what a 150' drop really meant.  All types of thoughts started shooting through my head.  I started thinking that I really didn't need to do this anymore, that I'd be fine going the rest of my life without bungee jumping. 

Unlike my daughter, I hadn't told a ton of people that I was going to do this.  My daughter had told just about everyone she knew that she was going bungee jumping for her 13th birthday.  I encouraged her to do it, knowing that it would be harder for her to back out once she had told so many people.  Back to me thoughts.....  I knew if I chickened-out that my daughter wouldn't do it either.  Part of me thought that it would be a relief to her also.  While she has been nervously looking forward to the experience for the past month, seeing it in person was just terrifying.  I decided to go sign the final release forms and get the harness on.  Did it and was feeling calmer again.  Came to my turn in line and I was still pretty calm.  The guy that went before me was about 10 years older than me and it was his first jump too.  When he was getting unattached after his jump, he was smiling but also mentioned how he had almost blacked-out during the jump.  That gave me a little bit of anxiousness, but still relatively calm.  Walked through the barrier area to the actual jump platform area and was told to stick the toes of my shoes over the edge of the platform.  At this point any sense of calmness instantly left.  I stepped out onto the platform and looked down.  Huge amounts of fear like I've never experienced before! 

At this point my mind was having a major argument with itself.  The logical side of the brain kept arguing that it was "safe", that the harness and attachments were checked multiple times by at least 3 different people, and that they've never had a fatality or major injury before.  The other side of my brain was yelling ABORT, ABORT, THIS IS STUPID, YOU'RE ABOUT TO DIE, TURN AND RUN, GET OUT OF HERE, DON'T DO THIS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THEIR FIRST FATALITY, THE HARNESS IS MADE FROM LITTLE BITS OF NYLON, ABORT, ABORT.  Standing on the edge of the platform with a death grip on the railing I realized that I could NOT jump off forwards.  I let the person know that I was turning around and was going to jump off backwards.  She said ok and I turned around, still with a death grip on the railings.  At that point I realized that I could NOT blindly fall backwards off this bridge towards the rushing river and jagged rocks below.  I told here I changed my mind and was going to turn around and go face first afterall.  She said ok and I turned around again, still having a death grip on the railings.  She asked if I was ready.  I wasn't, but said I was.  She said to let go of the railings and lift my arms up to the sides.  I did.  She started a quick countdown....5..4..3..2..1..  And I jumped off the platform!  Kept my eyes open the entire time and will always have the image of plummeting straight towards that rushing river burned into my memories.  About 3 seconds of utter terror as you free fall with no resistance.  Then the bungee kicks in and you start bouncing up and down a few times while the adrenaline rushes throughout your body and fills you with an extreme sense of euphoria. 

Then they pull you back up to the bridge.  When I got back to the bridge I was shaking from experience as the adrenaline was still coursing through my veins for the next couple minutes.  I had a huge smile and started encouraging my daughter for her jump.  I told her that it was going to be the scariest 3 seconds of her life, but it would quickly be followed by the most awesome feeling she had ever felt before.  As you can see in the Youtube video link below, she handled the initial jump much better than me.



Progress as of today: 83.6 lbs lost so far, only 40.4 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 06/23/2018:
This is an amazing post. Could easily be an article on Fatherly. So much here I have to process and respond more later. Good job!

bearcountrygg on 06/23/2018:
Wow......sounds exciting!!!

bearcountrygg on 06/23/2018:
Watched your daughters video...she is amazing!!!

Donkey on 06/23/2018:
OMGosh what a video!!!! Thank you for sharing!!! AND also, thank you for sharing the whole thought process that you went through. Not only was that very interesting, e.g. whether to jump forward or fall back, but also very much appreciated, personally.

horn_of_plenty on 06/25/2018:
Hi Gains!

Nice to see a couple entries from our Manof DD! Haha!! There’s always one…I miss the other guy from DD, OhioRaven!

Glad mealtime and sitting around your relatives was enjoyable!! I have ALWAYS enjoyed dressing up SO MUCH MORE when I have been a lower weight, like now, also. It’s always more comfortable to wear clothes when you know they fit well…I’m with you on that one oh yes! I remember at my heaviest and close to heaviest when i had a lot of extra fat (noooo extra muscle at all) and dresses looked horrible on me…I felt so insecure! Now, it’s better…as long as I don’t let myself go…as I’m getting really good at eating towards my higher calorie limit more and more…

…as I run more I hope for it to cancel out any weight gain. I meant to get more into running this month but decided to take a class on Wednesaday evenings and despite it being a really easy class and fun class that actually gets out early most of the time, I haven’t had the energy to fit in cardio more than 1x a week even though my original plan this month was to do it 2x per week – class ends this week – so next couple months will be far easier to do it 2x per week – my goal is to once again jog one mile without stopping and possibly get up to 1.5-2mi. After that, I’ll be working on speed…I don’t care about distance increasing, but speed. And for now, the goal is just to do a mile – I’m far from the goal right now.

Yes, rock climbing will not work if you aren’t fit! Too much weight for the upper body to have to lug up! So congrats to you !! I’m sure you were VERY happy about it. Never head of a flowrider…sounds fun like surfing! Good idea to get the videos of the bungee jumping! I went paragliding last fall I Colombia and wish I get either photos / video with it….would have been nice to look back on! When you come to NYC, you must go and ride the Cyclone rollercoaster located on Coney Island !!....LOL, you felt euphoria on the bungee jump! I’d have felt FEAR only! It sounds ilke an experience of a lifetime…I don’t think I have a desire to ever bungee jump…but ziplining, I’m up for that again!

i'll try and watch the video of your daughter later :)

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