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graindart - Wednesday Nov 21, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 185.5

Day 57 completed successfully.

Calorie intake near my daily limit, but cut down the bags of popcorn to only one yesterday.

Woke up early and did a little regular work this morning.  Now I'm caught up and probably won't have any other regular work for the rest of the week.  Started cleaning the office, while the wife and kids are cleaning the living / dining / kitchen.  Transferred the ham and turkey from my parent's fridge to mine.  Will need to look up my usual directions for cooking the turkey later tonight to have it done by noon tomorrow.

Tried making a box of instant sugar-free jello pudding with almond milk last night.  Read that it doesn't setup right with alternative milk products, but saw someone that said it works if you cut the liquid in half.  It did setup, but it tasted pretty nasty since it had essentially twice as much flavor potency due to half the liquid.

On to conquer day 58....  

Progress as of today: 97.5 lbs lost so far, only 16.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/21/2018:
Oh my that jello dish sounds... well, sounds like it didn't work out too well. It would never occur to me to make Jello with milk or milk-alternative.

graindart on 11/21/2018:
It was jello brand instant pudding mix (not jello gelatin).

Although it probably tasted just as bad as if I'd tried to make jello gelatin with milk.....

Horn_of_plenty on 11/23/2018:
lol...good try anyways with the almond milk! maybe next time you'll use half the jello mix?????

graindart - Tuesday Nov 20, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 186.5

Day 56 completed successfully.  

Stayed within calorie allowance yesterday, but ate a ton of popcorn.  I'm guessing the larger amounts of salt hold onto the water.  I'm also wondering if the bulk of the popcorn absorbs and retains water too.  Anyways, planning to go easy on the popcorn for the next few days, sticking with lower carb.  We'll see what happens on Thursday......

Self-employed and the girls / wife have Wed-Sun off.  I'm light on regular work right now, so might as well enjoy it.  After wrapping some stuff up today, think I'm going to take the rest of the week off from my normal job.

On to conquer day 57....

Progress as of today: 96.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2018:
ohhh, maybe the popcorn absorbs the water, it also has a lot of fiber in the popcorn, if you look at nutrition facts :) it's a good carb, the popcorn, for that reason!

yes, take the week off if possible...that's a benefit of working from home...rather than just sludging thru the day !

happy-1 on 11/20/2018:
Good job! Good discipline!

Donkey on 11/21/2018:
I would agree that the extra carbs in popcorn could be causing you to retain some water weight. It will pass. If extra popcorn keeps you on track, stick with it. You can deal with the water weight later. Better to stay on plan with whatever it takes.

graindart - Monday Nov 19, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 184.0

Day 55 completed successfully.  17 of 30 walks completed.

Weekend was pretty straight-forward.  No real surprises and no real issues with staying on-track.  Was near the top of daily calorie allowance past couple days, but didn't go over.

Today is some regular work, although I'm already in vacation mode.  Not working Thursday or Friday.  Wife / girls have Wednesday off from school, so might not work that day either.  That just leaves today and tomorrow and I really don't have much on my plate to accomplish.  In fact I could probably have most everything done by this afternoon.  You'd think I'd feel motivated to get it done and transition to vacation time, but I don't.  I keep finding other things to take up my time instead of getting started on the work.

Went grocery shopping for a few things still needed for Thanksgiving.  We're hosting Thanksgiving like usual.  Around 20 family members total.  Always volunteer to host, but it always stresses me out.  Everyone chips in on the food, but I can't relax at all until everything's on the table and ready to eat.  This year is pretty typical and I'm cooking the ham, turkey, and fresh cranberries.

On to conquer day 56....

Progress as of today: 99 lbs lost so far, only 15 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2018:
Hey, can you fit ONE more at your table...food sounds like it's gonna be generous and tasty!

graindart on 11/19/2018:
Sorry, the table only seats 20.....

The food will be good, which will make it more tempting to throw the day away. May or may not make it to 60 days in a row with the current streak. Won't really matter in the greater scheme of things which way I decide to go, as long as it's contained to one day.

horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2018:
yes, as long as you can agree to try everything but keep it at one day :)

Donkey on 11/20/2018:
20 people... This reminds me of when I was a kid, we kids had to sit at a card table for dinner, separate (but in the same room) from the "adult table". Oh my how we all wanted to sit at "the adult table". When we finally because adults (young 20s), we all wanted to sit at the card table! Nobody wanted to sit at "the adult table" with all the old people - LOL!

Ham sounds delicious -- but it's a no-can-do at my house - for the holidays, at least - because my daughter won't eat it. *sigh* ... This reminds me, I should pick up a small ham for the rest of us, once the holidays are over. YUM...

graindart on 11/20/2018:
Main table holds 8 and we have 8 "real" adults (another one "technically" an adult is 20 years old). First kids table is the kitchen island that seats 4. Second kids table is a sturdier version of a card table that seats another 4. Then the 2 youngest are usually clinging to their parents or roaming around the house playing with the dog.

Wish we had the space to have one of those super long medieval feasting tables to fit all 20.....

horn_of_plenty on 11/20/2018:
i totally agree with you....darn, thanks for "not inviting me" hahaha

graindart - Saturday Nov 17, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 181.2

Day 53 completed successfully.  17 of 30 walks completed.

Yesterday was relatively straight-forward.  Was at my max calories allowed.  Was going to have a decent deficit, but ate a couple things I was sort of craving right before bed (piece of bread with peanut butter, small cheese quesadilla).

Today is cold, snowy, icy.  Roads are extremely slick right now.  Have to pickup my youngest from a sleepover in a couple hours and will probably hit the grocery store while I'm out.  After that, not planning on leaving the house much today.  Supposed to warm back up in a couple days, so hopefully it will all melt before Thanksgiving.

Looking forward and back to my math-ing (math used as a verb).  Was originally hoping to be at goal by Thanksgiving.  My body obviously didn't agree with that hopeful timing.  When I saw that wasn't going to happen, I've started hoping to see 179.9 by Thanksgiving and goal by Christmas.  Ideally 179 by Thanksgiving and 169 by Dec 20th when we leave for vacation.  Really doubt it'll happen by Christmas, but I can dream.  Whatever the time frame, as long as I stay on-track, I'll definitely be to maintenance-land in January.  Looking forward to it.  An extra 500-800 calories per day will be awesome.

Enough day-dreaming.  On to conquer day 54....

Progress as of today: 101.8 lbs lost so far, only 12.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/17/2018:
^ I've heard that about apple cider vinegar as well... I'm not sure I've ever tried it though. Hmm...

"Math-ing" - LOL, I can relate!

horn_of_plenty on 11/19/2018:
good job not going into an "all out" binge at bedtime :)


how nice it is to be home this time of year...i just love it...meant to do it most of yesterday! :)

graindart - Friday Nov 16, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 180.9

Day 52 completed successfully.  17 of 30 walks completed.

Yesterday went alright.  Tried for another very low calorie day, just trying to mix things up and get the scale moving again.  Was low for most of the day, but ate a fair amount right before bed (still under calorie allowance).  Was trying to also stay lower-carb, but gave in to a couple bags of 100 calorie popcorn and a grapefruit.

Today has some regular work, some running the girls around to things, and a family game night thing.  The game night thing is at church and also has a potluck meal element to it.  The wife and kids are looking forward to it, but it's not real high on my list of priorities and I haven't decided on a plan of attack for avoiding the food that will be sitting there.  Don't think there will be anything to derail my streak tonight, but wouldn't be surprised to see my calorie intake right at my maximum daily allowance either.

Right now the plan for Thanksgiving is to just continue with my current eating plan.  Set number of calories and that's it.  I've had that plan before and suddenly abandoned it in the middle of the meal because I started eating and just didn't want to stop. 

I do know that this current streak will come to an end sometime.  I see it ending in one of two ways.  I either ride it all the way to maintenance-land and make a smooth transition  OR  I have a major one-day blowup bingefest.  Right now I'm hoping to ride it out, but know that falling off the wagon in a spectacular way is also a big possibility.  I know riding it all the way to goal is the smart move.  I also know that a big one-day screwup can often times add a sudden 5+ lbs overnight to the scale, which can make me slightly depressed and cause a one-day screwup to become a several day disrailment. 

With everything else in my life mostly stable / in control, I don't know why food is such a struggle.  I guess I should be thankful that my vice is food and not something more destructive.

On to conquer day 53...

Progress as of today: 102.1 lbs lost so far, only 11.9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/16/2018:
I hear you about being thankful that your vice is food...I'm the same way...we could have vices of a lot worse things.....I also have the rest of my life in exactly the place I want it to be...so I guess we should feel lucky that we have been able to steer 95% of our lives exactly the way we wanted them to go.......this truly is just a little blip on the screen and we are squashing that blip.....how ever you choose to handle the holidays will be ok...because you know where you want to be and you know how to get there....and by the way...I just read that popcorn, potatoes and bananas have gotten a bad rap....apparently they contain a natural starch that helps weight loss.

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2018:
Popcorn and grapefruit is still pretty low carb. tons of fiber...you are ok, those are great choices...you remind me to enjoy a grapefruit or a few during the weekend! i do have one in my fridge :)

It's OK to eat at your max on days that are atypical like this potluck. try to do your best to fit things in. enjoy diet coke if you want to keep your mouth occupied (this helps me greatly at dinners out).

Your plan of a calorie allowance is good. keep good food choices around and in stock at your house, so you can stay on your plan. it's all about CONVENIENCE. they easier it is for you to stay on plan, the more on plan you will stay. I've done TONS of reading on instilling good habits - James Clear publishes a lot of free online materials / articles.

You have quite a bit of experiences of riding it to "binge-fest." ...you have it in you to try to do things to prevent this...

you have more to learn about how to control your bingeing...

try to come up with a plan...

maybe really nice meal of a good steak but tons of seasoned, cook veggies or your roasted squash first, then a nice big steak...a potato too...so mostly a good meal, just bigger on the steak...

then, indulge in a lot of fruit for dessert, followed up with a decaf coffee and a chocolate muffin...

so, here is a "planned super indulgent meal"...but, it has a start and end.

calories are high, higher than you'd like for your meals, but, it will not derail you at all in the long term.

plan your indulgence. plan it bigger so you will not be upset or feeling like you are deprived...

PLAN your plan of attack.

it gets easier.

graindart on 11/16/2018:
When I fall off the wagon, it's definitely not planned. I go off-plan and then decide I might as well eat every type of food I could possibly ever want since I've already screwed up. But since it's completely out of control, I end up eating mass quantities of every food also. The first couple bites of each food item taste good.

I think your advice to "plan" the off-plan day is smart. When I go off-plan I currently buy large bags of every type of candy, fast food, etc and don't keep track of anything. I eat until the day ends or I run out of food. I suppose if I planned the day in advance, I could still buy pretty much everything I would want, but just get small portions of each item. Dispose of the rest before starting eating. I'd still be over the normal calories, but it would be a controlled off-plan day instead of a crazy 6000+ calorie free-for-all......

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2018:
YES, this is exactly the advice that can help you...good planning to indulge.

i have had my fair share of times, back in the day, where i also had a 6,000 cal day. you are totally not alone. I'd drive, like you have, from fast food joint to fast food joint, ordering everything i could get into my mouth. those were the days....

...i am more in control of my choices now.

...and i understand how to indulge and not sulk into a state of depression afterwards, too.

...in the past, my binge days kept on...and were deeply related to my mood. it was a VERY ROUGH emotional time for me....mid 20's.

i had two times in my life this way where bingeing totally influenced my mood and i had no control (lost control) over my food choices. I was thin leading into both times and will never let it happen again. meaning, i've dieting down to a lower weight 2x in my life and will not deal with the ups and downs again. i prefer maintenance.

1. First time Senior year of high school thru Sophmore Year in College.

2. Second time of weight gain and hardship was during another time of change in my life, leaving one job and deciding to go back to school, ages 25-28.

then from 28-30, it took me that long to lost most of my weight. then i got injured, but only gained like 10lbs over the course of a couple years? and lost it as i added exercise back, no biggie...i don't count that as a time of losing control.

and from 33-36 has been my years of most stable weight as an adult...current position i'm in.

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2018:
with you, your goal should be starting to be accountable for these off days...and thinking more positively that you are in fact capable of being in control :)

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2018:
for you, it's changing your prior habit of total loss of control....and creating a way to stay "current" stay in tune with actually what you are doing, rather than doing it on autopilot!

graindart - Thursday Nov 15, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 182.2

Day 51 completed successfully.  17 of 30 walks completed.

Yesterday was shaping up to be a very low calorie day, all the way up to date night around 8:30pm.  Then I started eating and eating and eating.  I still stayed under my calorie allowance for the day. 

The thought of temporary discomfort vs longer term discomfort has been going through my mind lately.  If I stay on track like this, I might be down to goal by the turn of the new year.  If I just stopped eating, I'd be down to goal weight in approximately 2 weeks.  Just a thought.......

On to conquer day 52...

Progress as of today: 100.8 lbs lost so far, only 13.2 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/16/2018:
That is a very interesting perspective, comparing discomfort now versus later. I would not advocate that you eat nothing, but in essence, your approach is correct: If you stick to you plan now, you can reach your goal, and then re-evaluate.

Please consider this too. When you reach your goal weight (or weight range), stay on plan for a week or 2 (or 3 or 4) to stabilize mentally and physically. Then you can start making variations. Just something to think about...

horn_of_plenty on 11/16/2018:
You are on your journey and good job staying in the Green Zone in terms of calories :)

When you do indulge, try to keep it more in line with maintenance, that's all.

even a 2,000-2,500 cal day for you can be considered an ok day here and there along your journey without contributing to any huge setback.

graindart - Wednesday Nov 14, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 182.2

Day 50 completed successfully (corrected number today).  17 of 30 walks completed.

Yesterday I needed to shake things up.  I've been getting frustrated with the way the scale has been dropping too slowly.  Since I've been getting frustrated with the status quo, something needed to change.  Either jump off the wagon and have a cheat day or double-down on the weightloss direction by changing my food intake.  The 49-50 day in a row streak is helping keep me working towards the weightloss direction, so I decided to change-up the food intake somewhat.

Yesterday was a lower-carb and lower-sodium day.  No popcorn, less salt, less calories, and no grapefruit yesterday.  Saw the drop in the scale number this morning that I wanted.  Yes, I know it's not "real", but it is something to provide additional motivation to stay on-track.  And being at an area of frustration lately, I needed something to increase my motivation.  I'm now back at having lost 100 lbs since I started this weightloss April 2017.

On to conquer day 51....

Progress as of today: 100.8 lbs lost so far, only 13.2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/14/2018:
Good for you!!!!! I can't say enough about shaking things up!! Congrats on the loss and the new milestone!!!!

Donkey on 11/14/2018:
What a milestone that is - congratulations!

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2018:
i'm so glad that you have had such a continued success now. 100lbs is not just amazing, but remarkable. many people have trouble to keep it off, going back to their old ways, forgetting all the effort they put in, forgetting the journey will always be ongoing once the weight is gone. losing their focus, losing their desire to put in the effort...etc etc...

you have kept on. you have come up with a why you continue to strive for health. to strive for what is better. to be active. to learn more about your body and what it needs!

graindart on 11/14/2018:
I was already in the 170's for most of this Spring, but stopped caring after the cruise in June. Slipped back into the old ways of eating whatever whenever and gained back 40 lbs over Summer. Now still working on losing what I gained during the Summer. Every single time I make it to or near goal, I always irrationally think that I can go back to eating whatever whenever and it won't cause me to gain weight "this time". I know it's not logical, but that's how it always happens.

Not this time! I actually have a plan after making it to goal this time. This "losing" phase is way too tough. Once I make it to maintenance, I will learn to live within a more relaxed set of boundaries that balances food intake needs / wants.

graindart - Tuesday Nov 13, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 185.2

Day 48 completed.  17 of 30 walks completed. 

Have some regular work today.  

Was going to complain more about my scale weight not dropping like I think it should, based on yesterday's weighin of 188.  In this round of cutting, I initially touched 188 back on October 24th, which was 3 weeks ago.  So for yesterday's weighin to see 188 again after being 100% on-track for 21 additional days was depressing.  This morning's weighin of 185 calmed some of that irritation.  It's times like yesterday that make you question whether it's worth it or not.  When you don't see any visible progress and yet you've put in the time / effort, it's just hard to justify continuing on the path.  Yet seeing today's number at 185 gives me some hope.  Three lbs in 3 weeks isn't what I'd ideally like, but is at least worth the effort in my mind.  

Yesterday I was thinking about shaking things up with a drastic move just to see the scale numbers move.  Today with the lower number, I'm feeling less inclined to change things up.  I know if I stayed away from salt / popcorn for a day or two, I'd probably see a drop in the number.  But of course the numbers would climb again when I ate popcorn / salt again.  And I love my popcorn with heavy salt / seasoning.

Maybe a few low-carb days just to mix things up?

On to conquer day 49....

Progress as of today: 97.8 lbs lost so far, only 16.2 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/13/2018:
Happy to see that your scales made you happier......It is tough when the scales are disappointing....but you prevailed. Some low carb days may be a big help....and some low salt days definately would help.........back in the old WW weigh in meetings...we all avoided highly salted foods for a couple of days before weigh in...of course that isn't fat...it's water...but the numbers make it easier to stay on program......Day 49...WOW

graindart on 11/13/2018:
Yeah, I'm torn on whether or not to shake things up. I know it would be an artificial drop, but part of me just really wants to see some decent change in the right direction.

I feel like I'm nearing a crossroads, where there's going to be a change one way or the other. I'm either going to jump off the wagon for a day and enjoy some food I've been craving OR I'm going to change my current diet foods to try to achieve a drop in the scale number.

If I jump off the wagon, the scale will instantly jump 5+ lbs and take a week to normalize. Of course with Thanksgiving next week, the scale number might make me depressed and cause me to fall off the wagon again around Thanksgiving.

So I'm leaning towards changing things up on my current diet just to hopefully see a drop in the scale number. If I'm bored and need to see a change, the artificial scale drop option seems like the lesser of the 2 evils.

BearCountryGG on 11/13/2018:
I'm all for the artificial drops....and sometimes they aren't artificial at all...they just help break a cycle that is going slowly or no where at all.....I believe in the tricks...and even if they are mind games...they keep us moving forward.......I am afraid to step off the wagon right now...with Thanksgiving coming up I'm afraid I would give myself a pass UNTIL THANKSGIVING.....and then there are leftovers...so I'm working at it hopefully right up until Thanksgiving ( which I can imagine will cause a setback).....tough time of year...but back in the old days...I would wait until New Years day to start...and pig out up until then.....NOT THIS YEAR!!!

graindart on 11/13/2018:
Not sure what I'm doing on Thanksgiving, but knowing it's next week is a little depressing right now. When I got back on-track back in August, I calculated that I should be to goal somewhere around Thanksgiving as long as I stayed committed. Now my projections are I might possibly be to goal by the new year...... And if the scale doesn't cooperate, that might not even happen.

Calmly vented to my wife tonight as we were walking through the grocery store. Kind of trying to figure out if I was "happier" day-to-day being fat and eating whatever / whenever. Just want to get to goal and give my maintenance plan a real solid try.

Donkey on 11/13/2018:
I'm with Bear in that I would be very careful about going off plan (even if for "just a day") at this time.

That happened to me... I remember this distinctly because what kicked it off was eating an entire 1lb bag of cashews. And even the bathroom side-effects the next day wasn't enough to stop me... ended up gaining it all back + 10 pounds.

graindart on 11/13/2018:
Concerning food and dieting, I'm kind of hating life right now. But know I'll be even more frustrated if I take a day off and gain 5+ lbs. Just need to keep plugging away at it and make it to maintenance-land......

So no falling or jumping off the wagon today. The streak will live on at least one more day.....

Horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2018:
yes in terms of salt and popcorn, if you don't have issues with salt, i don't see a reason to remove them just to see the scale drop and then rise. calories are calories and those are what makes the scale change. but eating too low is also bad as i'm sure you get that!

just keep on, the process and getting to know it is the hardest part, in my opinion. i would say i love maintenance - which is a totally fun journey in my opinion - you see what i'm eating.

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2018:
you wont believe this...i read something about feeling bloated and salt intake...believe it or not, the feeling of being bloated can hardly be blamed on salt consumption...unless it's really in excess!

because, what we take in is usually what we also eliminate...our body's design to work at balance of what goes in and goes out...i do not know the medical exact term. read it today.

horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2018:
or rather, as you said, the body will also correct the balance soon after :)

graindart - Monday Nov 12, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 188.1

Day 47 completed successfully.  17 of 30 walks completed.

I headed to bed last night at 8pm.  Messed around on a tablet until going to sleep at 9pm.  Woke up at 2am.  Checked my phone / email.  Then decided to get up for the day.  Have got a lot accomplished with everything being quiet and no outside world interuptions.  I'm sure I'll be grumpy / tired by this afternoon.

Some regular work to accomplish this morning, then just working on the software transfer stuff to the new computer system.  Think I might actually be done with the majority of the computer transfer by the end of today.

On to conquer day 48...

Progress as of today: 94.9 lbs lost so far, only 19.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/12/2018:
Back in the day when I worked, went to school and had kids...I did my homework at 3:00 A.M......it was the only time I could actually work in peace......and essays got done much easier then.

graindart on 11/12/2018:
Actually worked out well today and wasn't tired or abnormally grumpy. Got my work done and some of my extra stuff I needed to get done.

Donkey on 11/12/2018:
Maybe you can get in a nap? Be sure not to confuse hunger with fatigue. Drink more water, perhaps...

graindart on 11/12/2018:
Hate the idea of naps. It just feels like I'm wasting time. Made it through ok and shouldn't have a problem falling asleep tonight.

Horn_of_plenty on 11/12/2018:
yes, maybe a nap in afternoon?

i am sure you feel great for getting so much done without interruptions! i'm catching up on cleaning today.

graindart on 11/12/2018:
I do feel a little more accomplished today. Wasn't overly motivated, but since I had the extra hours of being awake I was actually able to get a fair amount of stuff accomplished.

happy-1 on 11/12/2018:
That’s some streak!

graindart on 11/12/2018:
The streak is going well, but the weight isn't dropping like I think it should. Will write more about that in tomorrow's entry.

graindart - Sunday Nov 11, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 184.9

Day 46 completed successfully.  17 of 30 walks completed.

Back from the out-of-town trip for the oldest daughter.  Everything went well.  Long, gruelling, boring, but safe.

Today is setting up computer stuff and other things inside. 

On to conquer day 47....

Progress as of today: 98.1 lbs lost so far, only 15.9 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/11/2018:
46 days......doing GREAT!!!

Donkey on 11/11/2018:
Whoa, way to drop some numbers there!

graindart on 11/11/2018:
Unfortunately probably just normal daily fluctuations. Can easily go up or down 3 lbs on any given day for almost no reason......

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