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graindart - Saturday Sep 01, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 207.5

Yesterday wasn't on plan and today won't be either.  Tomorrow I'll be back on my regular plan.

Oldest daughter (15) easily passed her driving exam and now has her real driver's license.  So we went out to lunch to celebrate, then out for dessert.  Later in the evening we went to the car races and had some goodies.  I was trying to figure out what to do about lunch with friends today.  After going off-plan yesterday, I decided to stay off-plan today and eat whatever I want for lunch.

Tomorrow I'm right back on-plan.

Progress as of today: 75.5 lbs lost so far, only 32.5 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 09/01/2018:
Sounds like a plan.

Donkey on 09/01/2018:
Following your lead, I too have abandoned my plan for today. I had about 20 chocolate chips and now I'm baking a cake.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/01/2018:
now that's what i call an excellent bounce-back..rebound! that's how you do it, Gains! This is a great entry bc i'm in full support of how your making the lifestyle work for you...with some wiggle room! good for you...

and congrats to your daughter! i'm glad it was easy for her.

for me, i was REALLY poor at parallel parking, but they passed me by the skin of my teeth, thankfully!

graindart - Friday Aug 31, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 203.0

Day 11 completed successfully.

Just killing time until my taking my daughter for her driving test.  Over the past few days we followed some of the other test takers at a distance.  They've taken the same route and done the same things each time.  We went and practiced that same route over and over so that she is hopefully less nervous.  Even without practicing the route, she seems to be ready.  The only thing that could potentially give her an issue is parallel parking.  She nails it 9 out of 10 times, but every once in awhile she screws it up.  Since the driving test is short and you only get one chance to parallel park in the test, it's probably a make or break thing.

Got invited out to try a new restaurant for lunch tomorrow with friends.  Have to figure out my plan of attack for that.

On to conquer day 12.....

Progress as of today: 80 lbs lost so far, only 28 lbs to go!

legcramps on 08/31/2018:
Good luck to your daughter! Way to nail 11 days so far!

BearCountryGG on 08/31/2018:
Sounds like she is ready!! Good luck to her...it's a big step for teens and their parents.

Donkey on 08/31/2018:
How did your daughter do? :)

Did you figure out a plan for tomorrow's lunch outing? I find it infinitely helpful to see the menu in advance, in private, so that I can plan a first and second choice. Good luck!

graindart - Thursday Aug 30, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 202.9

Day 10 completed successfully.  It's good to be in the double digits and I'm feeling much more in control that just a few days ago.  The calorie restriction isn't that much effort and I'm not dwelling on thoughts of food very often.  So everything is going pretty smooth right now.

Spending some extra time riding around with my oldest daughter today.  She's 15 years old and has had her driving learner's license for the past 10 months.  Tomorrow morning she goes in to take her driving test in an attempt to get her real driver's license.  So today we're going to get some extra practice in.  

Looking ahead for events that may temporarily derail my steady progress, we have a birthday party for a nephew and an out of town volleyball trip.  The birthday party should be doable, but I haven't made up my mind about the out of town trip yet.  The trip isn't for another couple weeks, so I'll make a decision on my plan of attack when that gets closer.

On to conquer day 11.......

Progress as of today: 80.1 lbs lost so far, only 27.9 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/30/2018:
yes, as things get closer, it becomes easier to think about the plan for the trip :)

you are doing very well, Gains!

I like the way you say "on the way to conquer day 11"....it's the right attitude!

BearCountryGG on 08/30/2018:
It sure is scary when they first start driving on their own...….I used to stay awake until they were home....once or twice I fell asleep and woke up in a panic to look out and see their cars were in the driveway......

Donkey on 08/30/2018:
I hope your daughter passes. I was thinking back to my driver's test. I never want to do that again!

graindart - Wednesday Aug 29, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 203.5

Day 9 completed successfully.

Most of this post is just me rehashing the past couple years journey and reminding myself how important it is that I stay in control of my eating habits for the vast majority of the time.

It's scary how quickly my weight can rise when I stop caring. 

A recap of my weight over the past few years:  Was sitting in the 260-270 range for quite awhile.  Early 2017 I hadn't weighed myself in a long time and I was eating / drinking whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  Around April 2017 I stepped on the scale and was suprised to see the highest number I'd ever seen, 283.  I decided to use a smartphone app to track everything I ate and use it's builtin calorie limit thing in an attempt to lose 2 lbs per week.  My goal was to lose 100 lbs and I did by Christmas 2017.  From April to December I only went over my calorie limit on 1 day.  I had a clear goal and was 100% committed to accomplishing it.  Decided to "reward" myself by eating whatever I wanted on Christmas Day.  That turned into a week long binge and when I got back on plan Jan 1st of this year I had regained 15 lbs.  Thankfully that dropped off pretty quickly in January.  Working towards our family's cruise vacation in June, I was able to keep my weight mostly in the high 170's from the end of January until we left for the cruise in early June.  Left for the cruise vacation on June 7th, weighing 175.  Was back home on June 18th weighing 195.  Floundered back and forth and weighed 204 after the 4th of July.  Got back on plan and was back to 189 by the 14th of July.  Fell off the wagon again, attempted to climb back on a couple times, but shot up to 218 when I weighed myself last Monday (9 days ago).

To summarize:  
April 2017 - weighed 283
December 2017 - lost 100 lbs to weigh 183
Feb-June weighed 178 and was gaining muscle
June-Aug gained 40 lbs back as I returned to my past eating whatever and whenever I wanted
today - back on plan and feeling mostly in control again

Looking back, if I would've just got back on plan after returning from the cruise, I would've been back near goal quickly and able to just work on maintaining for July/August.  Instead I made stupid choices and am now paying for it by having to restrict my daily calorie intake by a greater amount.

With the added weight I've had to dig out a few of my larger shirts that I hadn't gotten rid of yet.  I did donate the vast majority of larger clothing earlier this year, but had a small container of ones that I kept to use when working on things like greasy automotive projects.  So I've been mainly wearing one pair of jeans, a couple pair of shorts, and a handfull of large / x-large shirts over the past month or two.  All of my newer purchased medium-sized shirts, smaller pants, and smaller shorts have just been hanging in my closet staring at me since I got back from the cruise in June.

On to conquer day 10......

Progress as of today: 79.5 lbs lost so far, only 28.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 08/29/2018:
You got this...

No use regretting your past decisions; move forward with positivity and the knowledge that you KNOW what you need to do!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/29/2018:
I agree with Legs, try not to regret your choices too much as we all make mistakes and poor choices. It's only important you learn from them!

you say you have to now "restrict your daily calorie intake by a greater amount"....but actually i'm tell you, Gains, that you don't have to do this.

restriction my GREATER amounts means also the body's feeling of deprivation by GREATER amounts. the less you force on your body, the better you will do.

the more you "work with your body," the more your "mind will work with you." ...

what i'm saying is, crash diets are stressful and cause rebounds.

as you learn towards what works and doesn't for YOU, you will be able to be MORE and MORE moderate. Every year i do this myself, and every day, i continue to be more and more moderate. Exercise helps me to also be more moderate bc i can intake a bit more calories than if i didn't exercise at all...more calories are burned in a day when you are active and thsi also means that those of us that like a treat can have one! ...

keep going. you WILL get back to you old clothes.

i liked reading your timeline and patterns.

To help you and your perspective, i'd like to insist that you realize that all this weightloss has happened only since April 2017. It's only been around 1.5 years in fluctuations. you are early in still....so do not get all angry at yourself for making some blunders as you are doing great again...you weight much less than you started with initially....and you are closer to the goal.

also, i recommened that you try to already maintain. even if you ate at a "maintenance" amount for, say, 190 lbs, you'd still lose weight...

you do not NEED to lose 2lbs a week. It would be EASIER on you to lose 1 pound. and less punishing.

just remember, you do not have to send your soul and mind and body to hell for making little mistakes :)

Donkey on 08/30/2018:
When I started this last weight loss, I clearly remember saying to myself, I can't believe I'm back here again. Not that I haven't told myself, "Never again" before, but there I was. Again.

I've been in maintenance for, what - a year? Two years? - and I just gave away the last of my fat pants to charity. I still have quite a few tops that are XL for summer. Maybe I'll give those away when I set up my closet for fall & winter.

I'm working on accepting that I will never be the type of body that can eat whatever she wants. I still get angry, sad, resentful that this can't be me, but that's the awful truth. I guess I'd rather live in truth than lie to myself or live in denial.

horn_of_plenty on 08/30/2018:
but as donkey says, she has also lost weight and kept it off substantially...she has chosen to accept the weight she has reached and continues to work at it...same as myself. however, i can basically eat till fullness and comfort all the time, as long as i proactively make good choices on WHAT i am eating. however, to the same effect as what Donkey says, our bodies seem to be comfortable with the number on the scale and it's not a total pain to have gotten there and keep it there.

you will also find that magical number on the scale that you want to stick around..

graindart - Tuesday Aug 28, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 205.8

Day 8 completed successfully.

When I get back down to goal, I'll have to remember how much work it takes to drop these pounds.

Last night I was sitting at dinner with the family, eating my lower calorie food. They were eating homemade chilli with cornbread topped with butter & honey. I knew that technically I could have some and it really wouldn't matter all that much, other than I'd go over my daily calorie count that I've imposed on myself. Decided that I've only been back on plan for a week and didn't need to take the chance on losing control at this point, so skipped eating any of it. Just have to remember when I switch to maintenance, I can eat these type of meals with the family as long as I don't follow it up with a few donuts and / or a bag of cookies.

On to conquer day 9....

Progress as of today: 77.2 lbs lost so far, only 30.8 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
YEP! the struggle is so real to keep pounds off...and losing weight for me was even more annoying. I never hope to have to lose more than 5-10 lbs ever again if i can help it...because that struggle is real. that's why i have stayed at goal the second time around of my own weight loss (i gained twice, lost twice).

exactly - i find that i can eat a sweet thing with a coffee as a fun snack and be good...it's sorta when you plan the sweets and everything that makes it more important...like, when i need some carbs i need some carbs...i find that i prefer to eat sweets as a nice snack...like, i prefer to have a meal of something sweet rather than eat a meal and then also have a full dessert after...i'd rather split that up into two seperate times of eating...its when the meals become too high calorie at once is what doesn't work well for me, since i'm more of a grazer.

BearCountryGG on 08/28/2018:
For some reason I took a very cavalier attitude about putting it back on after losing it.....I didn't want to stop the food fest......then reality sets in.....maybe once we lose it we should make ourselves go back and read about our struggles....just as a reminder....because I know I never want to go through this again.

graindart - Monday Aug 27, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 204.7

Day 7 completed successfully.

Went to mudbog / tough truck race yesterday and didn't have a problem with food.  It was a fairly boring outing, but it was relaxing and the weather was nice.

Today it's shuttle the youngest to/from volleyball practice, while trying to get my work stuff done.

On to conquer day 8.....


Progress as of today: 78.3 lbs lost so far, only 29.7 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/27/2018:
boring outings...i don't do many like that, but i know what you mean....it's really nice when at least the weather is working in your favor so you can at least enjoy some free Vitamin D!

yesterday i got so tired on the outing i was on, and so annoyed with R my companion that i told him i was both sick of him and had enough of his complaining and emotional outbursts that he would have to take me home! ...i simply didn't have enough energy to entertain his need to be all cranky too. lol. rarely happens where i just give up on someone, but yesterday was that day.

good luck with the shuffle...it'll take your mind off food...i hope at least the weather is good!

graindart on 08/27/2018:
I try not to waste my time on boring things. We've been to this same event in other years and it's been entertaining. This year was just a let-down. Thankfully the company was good (couple friends went with us).

BearCountryGG on 08/27/2018:
Daytimes should be quieter though now.

Donkey on 08/28/2018:
Nice to see the numbers moving down..

graindart - Sunday Aug 26, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 205.4

Day 6 completed successfully.

Taking the family to a mudbog / tough truck race event today.  Should be a relatively low stress day and will just have to avoid the concession stands.

1000 calories.  That's the daily caloric deficit they say you need to run below your normal breakeven daily intake in order to lose 2 lbs per week.  It's also the number of calories that you need to eat additionally daily in order to gain 2 lbs per week.  When you take 1000 calories away from your breakeven daily amount, it's often times a huge struggle.  Inversely, adding 1000 calories per day is as easy as eating an appetizer at Applebees or a bag of chips and a couple Cokes.  

I haven't completely decided what I'm going to do in maintenance mode once I get back down into the 170's. But I think I'll stop logging my food and continue weighing myself daily.  If the number hits 180, I'll immediately start logging again until it drops into the 170's again.  Or maybe I'll choose another trigger number.  I don't know, but have awhile to figure it out before I'm back into the 170's anyway.

On to conquer day 7.....

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 30.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2018:
Good Job!

happy-1 on 08/26/2018:
Good job! And the extra calories are sneaky!!!

jasmine on 08/26/2018:
Do what works for you.

horn_of_plenty on 08/27/2018:
Totally agree for me it's also easier to gain! and how fun it is to indulge greedily right!?

I think you ideas are totally great.

remember now, about that 1,000 calories...that's to lose / gain the ultimate MOST of what is recommended as healthy. 500 cals can also cause a nice loss or gain.

So, remember, you do not have to push the limits of all or nothing...

graindart - Saturday Aug 25, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 207.0

Day 5 completed successfully.

Today is a preseason volleyball tournament, but thankfully there aren't any concessions. Tomorrow we're going to a mud-bog and tough truck race with a couple friends. Will be a little more difficult food wise, but I'm starting to get in the groove again so not really concerned.

On to conquer day 6....

Progress as of today: 76 lbs lost so far, only 32 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2018:
Building a successful momentum.....good for you!

jasmine on 08/25/2018:
You are doing well.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2018:
So yesterday i went to the "pre-US Open" like there's still qualifiers going on and practice sessions and games for the "old legends" that still play....was so fun to watch :)

my point is most food wasn't even open yet, but they did have a main area of lots of food....i was SO THANKFUL. there was literally ONE place that served healthy options. everything else was fatty sandwiches and fast food....i actually got sushi grade not cooked that means tuna over a salad with only the lightest of dressing. it was literally a health-nut lover's dream - to be so healthy at a sports arena area. i am thankful it was there, nothing else would have compared calorie-wise to the 500 calories probably in a whole meal that was filling for me. everything else would have been much more calories, to feel as full as i did!

you can always bring some things to snack on....that'll help you and especialyl to snack before you go out ot dinner....if you go out on the way home, have a small snack beforehand to cut off the hunger a little bit....like an hour before you have dinner / as you get in your car to drive, have something small like a handful of peanuts and diet drink or something. or a fruit and diet drink. well, that's what helps me :)

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2018:
oh, and like the others said, WAY TO GO!

graindart - Friday Aug 24, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 208.0

Day 4 completed successfully.

Youngest had a pre-season volleyball tournament for junior varsity yesterday.  Thankfully there weren't any concession stands.  Had a bbq to go to right after the tournament, but since the tournament went long we arrived late.  That was good for me since a lot of the food was gone by the time we arrived and very few people were still eating.

On to conquer day 5....

Progress as of today: 75 lbs lost so far, only 33 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/24/2018:
That worked out well.......good job!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/24/2018:
Proud of you, Grains. You are the sole decider of how you want to eat and life :) it's you, not some superior being or decision maker other than you...one day i feel you will feel much more confident. right now though, you are making excellent progress. loving your entries. way to go.

graindart on 08/24/2018:
Thanks for the encouragement.

Definitely don't have a ton of confidence right now on the food side of things. It's an irritation since I like to think I'm confident and in control of most other areas of my life.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/24/2018:
you see, in my opinion, "confidence" is really just a mindset. you can actually make yourself confident. you can change how you want to think about this weight thing. and diet thing.

you are giving yourself NOT ENOUGH power to feel in control.

you have this within you... :) allow yourself the knowledge and feeling that you can be successful at this. this is why you are here! You are making changes!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/24/2018:
like, look what bcgg said to you, you did good! so don't slight yourself so much!

Donkey on 08/25/2018:
Not sure if you planned it that way or if it's just the way things worked out, but I think you handled the food situations very well this past week.

I'm not sure if you find weekends to be more challenging, so if you do, here's wishing you success!

graindart on 08/25/2018:
Any time with family & friends is more difficult for me to stay on track. Once the girls are back in school in a couple weeks, my weekdays should get easier.

graindart - Thursday Aug 23, 2018
(30 days - weigh & post daily)
Weight: 208.4

Day 3 completed successfully.

Family made personal pizzas last night for dinner.  They looked and smelled delicious.  I considered eating one for a few moments, but knew that it would probably trigger me eating more "less healthy" stuff.  So I passed.  I know that for a normal healthy person, eating an occasional small pizza wouldn't matter one way or the other to their general health.  For me, it wasn't the calories as much as it was a potential "trigger" to start overeating. 

I think it really is like alcoholism in a way.  One occasional drink usually wouldn't matter to a healthy person (mentally / physically), but to an alcoholic that one drink can be a trigger that sends them into a downward spiral.  Where food addiction differs from alcoholism in one respect is in the fact that you can't just decide to give up food for the rest of your life.  (Technically you can give up food for the rest of your life, but the rest of your life would only be a month or two).

I'm bored with my food choices in the house, but am choosing not to go shopping for new options right now.  Eating the same basic things daily tends to help me stay on track.  When I've eaten the same thing several times in a row, there's little desire to fall off the wagon and overeat mass quantities of that same thing.  Unless they're cookies.  Cookies are my kryptonite.

On to conquer day 4.......

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 33.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/23/2018:
i can very much understand exactly where you are coming from in regards to staying away from the pizza bc it's a trigger. believe it or not, i can be triggered also by pizza. i do not love it as it doesn't fill me up. i much would prefer a massive amount of veggies with a side of a small mini pizza. i feel for you...it is very hard to get on the right path and i also try to avoid things that would totally derail my efforts. i would say you made a good choice.

there is def a thing as food addiction, i agree...

the only thing we can do is work with it...and learn how to get it more under control by in the end giving our bodies most of what it needs, but also what we like & enjoy....give and take....

Horn_of_plenty on 08/23/2018:
oh and i wanted to say, good job!

BearCountryGG on 08/23/2018:
Understanding it and acknowledging it is most of the battle.

Donkey on 08/24/2018:
I agree with the addiction aspect. 100%. Keep on working it. I'm proof it can be overcome.

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