Monday 9/20/21:
Last night Mama Cat said no phones in bed, pet me. I passed out petting her while she purred away on my chest.
today I pulled off yoga but not cardio.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Sunday - Sept 19, 2021:
3rd post for today... except I really need it. Pushed through my 8:30 cutoff time to finish my stats for tomorrow... and did it. Took the trash out at 8:30. Dad thinks I'm up and should be available to work with him. He tried to give me a whole to do list while I took out the trash. I said no, I won't remember tomorrow. I'm too tired. 9:45 he called me on the phone. I got up out of bed to see if it was an emergency. It wasn't, He wants me to buy something. I said I'd talk to him about it tomorrow and went back to bed. I'm wide awake now. Might as well setup yoga for tomorrow AM. Coffe and breakfast are already setup.
Path of least resistance is being developed.
Grrr. Get after it.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
I hope you have a really good yoga session this morning - good luck at the doctor's appointment!
i agree, that in the AM, it's gotta be a clear path in order to do exercise! definitely, the more obstacles towards starting, the less inclined anyone would be!
sorry for your dad's moodiness. the older people get, the more difficult at times!
when we had some fireworks this summer, my little piggie was scared; and it was one of the only times he sat with me and didn't fight me to get off!
Sunday 9-19-21...
A little better this morning. I started by clearing all the clutter in my bedroom that makes it hard to set up yoga before bed so I can work out as soon as my eyes open. Basically I had stuff that could go into my closet out where my chair, folding tables, and exercise ball need to go. I've been putting them on my bed when I do yoga, but when I wake up at 5am, I need to start setting up yoga at 5:40 am to be ready for a 6am class. I mentally just can't get it together to move these before 7am. Hopefully a path of least resistance will make this easier.
Today I need to finish getting all my data together for the OT so that I am ready for my endocrinologist appt on 9/27. It's a lot... and I'm weirdly just not that into doing it. I don't know why. This is supposed to help me get it all back together again and free to live my own life.
Maybe I just need some time out of the house. I haven't seen good daylight in a couple of days.
Dad isn't helping. He seems to want me to be on my knees begging forgiveness for meddling and getting him a COVID test and accidentally getting home health pulled. I said of course I made a mistake. I am going to make mistakes. The only way to not make mistakes is to not get involved at all. Do you think you did anything to contribute to the situation? Then he wanted soup, but for me to pull all the meat out of it and just give him the pea soup. I said I can blend it up for him and he told me to shut my ****ing mouth and do what he tells me to do. I told him the soup was on the stove and when he is ready he can get it himself.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Good to get out of the house. Just do it!
Getting out might be very helpful. I'm so sorry about your dad's choice of words. Just gotta walk away, I guess...?
Saturday, 9/18/21... Second post for today but I really need it...
After midnight here... Having a hard time getting to sleep. It's on me... I spent the whole day inside... My neck and back hurt so I didn't work out... it stuck around all day till about 11pm. No daylight, no circadian drive to sleep. I ran book club which is the highlight of my week. Then I worked on getting data together for the endocrinologist. That was time in front of my monitor. I did get up and make dad some dinner, but then I sat down and worked again. I got very little done.
Mostly what is eating me up is loneliness. My friend invited me to her dog's birthday party next Sunday. I would really like to go, but I just don't feel well yet, it's an hour and a half south, it requires ATVs which bounce and my neck can't take lifting a chair. I'm also just out of practice being around people. And I'm nervous about being that far away from home without support for my dad.
Thanks for letting me say that out loud in the middle of the night. I feel better.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Oh how I hate it when you almost fall asleep only to be jarred awake -- that has been my issue this whole past week. Ugh, then I have to start the whole "falling asleep" process over. If I have to do this more than once, on a given night, getting any good sleep becomes significantly harder. Each time, it's harder and harder to start the "falling sleep" again. It takes longer and doesn't seem as relaxed.
Maybe you need a new mattress, or time to flip/turn your mattress?
I'm sorry to hear about your loneliness, although I'm glad you came here to say it "aloud". That is not as easy as one might think, to admit it. (((hugs)))
Having my yoga board in my bed between workouts is a time management challenge while I get myself stronger. It is easy to pull out but it is a struggle to put away. I wear myself out putting it away and miss cardio.
A second one would be about $120. I love it. It makes such a huge difference doing yoga at home. I wasn’t pulling it out when I started back up again and I wasn’t getting any stronger… but I have the past couple of weeks and it is such a big improvement. https://www.getlifeboard.com/
I’d rather get a board that covers my whole bed and a larger topper for the money though. I just haven’t felt great enough to do it.
Makes total sense as to why you present empirical data at your doctors' appointments! I'm sorry it really got to that point though. How frustrating!
I believe that there are a lot more lonely people out there than one would think. And one can be married and still quite lonely (maybe even more so, from what I've heard from others).
Saturday 9/18/21:
4.5 earthquake last night... but what was surprising was how LONG it lasted. I had flashbacks to the Northridge quake in the 90s... I was in my bathrobe post shower at the time and I was very nervous about having to get out and leave the house if it got worse. The cat was sitting on me for a cuddle at the time... I was more surprised that she didn't bother jumping off my lap and just chilled while I kept petting her. And didn't bite or scratch me. I actually had to pick her up and put her down to go check on dad when it stopped. Weird cat. Clearly a native Californian.
Woke up with a massive headache this morning. I pushed dad in a wheelchair yesterday no problem... then when we got home, he asked me to swap his chair and I was too hungry, lifted wrong and did in my neck. No workout till it goes away. Plus I am dehydrated.
I need to go through all my data and get it ready by Monday. I'm a little apprehensive about how much work it will be and that makes me procrastinate on actually starting.
Now that I have said it aloud... time to get started.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Keep up on the hydration. Sometimes I have to work on mine. Easy to lag.
Hope that neck is doing better today.
Thursday 9/16/21: I bragged about my cat on the phone where she could hear... and immediately after she meowed, hissed, bit and scratched me... now it is almost midnight and I am still up.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Wed 9/15/21:
Fell off track Monday after wrangling dad into a dr video visit where we figured out he has diarrhea because he's chowing down on jam, ice cream and honey, then electrolyte imbalances causing fatigue. He hadn't told me he was out of gatorade. Augh. Not COVID.
I don't know why but I stayed up till 1 am and botched Tuesday. Today I had to go get labs done first thing, then I spent my evening getting stuff together for my OT appointment tomorrow... so I missed today's workout too.
But despite insomnia I am in bed with the lights out at 8:30 as planned. The cat has tucked me in. I can do this.
Yoga tomorrow at 6:30 am.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Lights out at 8:30pm is enviable. Have fun at yoga this morning! I'll think of you tonight when I start my session :-)
also, nice job getting back on track later. i hope you get to do your yoga tomorrow!
For Sunday 9/12/21:
Having a small brain fry moment. Super grateful to have this space to dump it out and make some sense of it. Today is Sunday and I need to plan my week and refocus. I have had a super sucessful week... It was so successful, I wil say it in all caps... just to emphasize it.
I HAD A SUPER SUCCESSFUL WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However... this was accomplished at the expense of:
So how do I tackle the issue of dad is still sick this week and stay on course to do my bedtimes and workouts? What do I sacrifice and how do I do it?
Right now this is what a day looks like:
To move dad forward, I have to try to do things with him at 10AM before my brain gives out. That looks like an hour on paper, but what it really does is K/O my entire day till bedtime. Do I let dad hash it out his own way another week to try to solidify my 1 week off success into 2 weeks? Or do I try to stretch just a little bit and push to get him to take care of himself?
I tried to posit that question to the Exish over text and was told to "talk to a therapist or a life planner". It took everything I had in me not to tell him to go date somebody else.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
I'm not sure what to say about Dad. It's GOOD that even being sequestered, that he's still able to function and take care of himself. I don't have any suggestions as to approach the situation, except to say that if YOU get sick - COVID or otherwise - you will not be able to help in any capacity. (I believe you have already come to this realization a couple of entries ago, when Dad first started getting sick.)
WOOHOO CONGRATS ON YOUR SUPER SUCCESSFUL WEEK!
Are the aids/nurses still coming to help you with your dad? what happened to them? that would help give you a break so you can do your own work...
it is very hard to be a caretaker!
Friday 9/10/21:
3 cardio+yoga workouts in a row including yesterday. Just gotta do it again today. The cat will help. I rolled over at 4am and the cat jumped onto my pillow an inch from my head from her perch on my bike desk. "Oh good! You're up! Plop! Give me treats!"
"Noo kitty, no treats till Alexa starts playing the Lumineers. I'll just stay here and pretend to be asleep. Maybe you'll give up and go away. I'm not going to train you to wake me up before my alarm."
"But... Look how sweet, soft, and cuddly I am. You can't resist my love. Purr purr purr."
"Soooo soft..."
"Gotcha."
"Damnit!!!!"
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Thank you so much for the information on the Garmin devices!!! I'm takin' notes, as I think my current FitBit Alta is dying a slow death.
Hey, GOOD JOB on the cardio and yoga!!!!!
so did you give her a treat when she woke you!?!?
She's figured out I can only take so much fur on bare skin and will eventually give her treats to get her to leave me alone... so yes... augh...
Wednesday, September 8, 2021...
Gasp! I ran out of cat treats this morning. You should have seen Momma Cat... "If there's no treats, I'm not waking your butt up to do yoga at 4:30 AM. Get yourself up."
Still not tracking here sufficiently to move forward on habits. my brain is just not "there". I am doing a good job of tracking my time though... and that is very helpful. Yesterday and today I am on the "up" swing where I am up on time and doing yoga and cardio. Hopefully the more days I can rack up together of those, the more my VO2 Max will improve and I will have more energy throughout the day for longer. Today after my workout, I walked to the store and back. I sat down in my chair to eat my GIANT salad before cleaning the kitchen... and I was just "done". Took me like 2 hours to remember to check my Body Battery. Garmin says my body battery was at 9, I was bottoming out, and I needed to look for ways to rest today. I think I am off the hook for cleaning the kitchen.
At least the cat treat situation was rectified. I bought 2 of each flavor. Hopefully she will wake me up tomorrow. I need the help.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
May I ask which model of Garmin you have? AND I would also like to know if you recommend THAT model or another model.
I have the Forerunner 245, but if I was going to do it over again, I would get the Fenix 6 pro with solar. There are way more insights and I bet they are worth it. The price is way down... REI had it for $700 with a $70 member dividend. That's like $630. https://buy.garmin.com/en-US/US/p/641375
How does VO2 Max relate to pulse oximetry? We have those. Always good: upper 90’s.
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