219 a couple of days ago... Before DBC (Dad's birthday cake).
Back on the horse. One foot in front of the other. Dad's birthday cake has been consumed.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Finally got out to a doctor today but had problems with the caregiver agency... the caregiver bailed for her own emergency. Nobody let me know. They were alone for 7h.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Like water on stone I have been plugging away at all my problems and I am incrementally making progress:
One foot in front of the other.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
You can only move forward at your pace and keep progressing. Sometimes there's a backward motion, but lucky for you your progress with positivity and success has been good for you ! love to hear that!
While I did not really get a day off yesterday, at least I bought a new bra and a tank top that are exactly what I needed. I feel so much more human. A fresh box of hair dye would also help... and getting back on top of my skin care.
Kitty had a bad night last night. He used up his litterbox, but still had to poop so he tore up a baseboard in the bathroom and took an enormous poop on the shreds. No more free range kitty until I figure out why. We are completely out of cat food and there was enough for 4 more days... so I think the caregiver gave him extra food (because he is a bottomless pit and constantly asks). Oops. Poor kitty. He's a good boy and couldn't help it. At least he picked the bathroom.
Got to get that screw out today so he can have a second box.
And so that I can do yoga at home.
Fitness. Weight loss.
Gotta happen.
---
Neck pain all day. Can't think. Brain stuck on bad hair color... Why???
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
I had him on Abound because it wasn't cans, but it just goes straight through him.
He needs about $1k in dental work before he can eat dry food. Trying him on just cat treats sweet potatoes and chicken thighs this week to see if I can get his tummy under control. Immodium is also an option.
do you have tips on hair dye - i have dark brown - should i look to go a little shade lighter or what? what's some things you can pass on from your hair dying experience to make it look most natural? and do you like to go darker in the winter?
One foot in front of the other.
Yesterday was supposed to be a night off with the caregiver here last night and this morning. Didn't work out that way. I got anxious because there wasn't going to be anyone there overnight and they are both on oxygen, so I came home early... and it was a good thing I did, Things weren't good... mom hadn't had meds or eaten, diapers hadn't been taken out... I think she has poor vision. I used to feel fine as long as someone checked on them, but I don't think they can handle that anymore. Dad really hates the caregiver. I told him to call them and ask for someone else. It is his contract. He doesn't want to. He just wants to complain. I told him I'd look to engage another agency once one of the bedrooms is cleaned out so he has someplace to hang out. I don't think he will be any happier with someone else till he has a place to escape to.
When I am unhappy and I don't know what to do about it, I clean. So I cleaned a lot. Bedroom is looking better. Put WD40 on the stuck screw. Fingers crossed I can get the cat box out and reclaim my yoga space.
Kitty's new personalized, black and silver reflective kitty collar arrived today. He was pretty happy about it and braved my dog to come hang out with me. He's got a matching 6' leash and harness for the full-on adventure kitty look. I'm super looking forward to returning the $30 one I bought at petco. It's not colorfast and he's teal wherever it touched his white fur. And my clothes. And the rug.
Augh.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
My cats could never get the hang of a harness. Stinky and Merlin would just flop on their sides and refuse to move. Mindy was the only one to have the slightest idea of what it was for, but she still didn't really like it much. However, there are cats that get it and love it!
He's an awesome cat. Also, I just realized his collar matches his kitty carry sling/bag... He's stylin'.
I'd like to say that some people get cranky with old age and perhaps NO caregiver would make your dad happy? or is this one just not the best?
Trying to make health a priority.
Settled on buying the cheaper tickets for boyfriend which with service fees were $55. Perfectly reasonable birthday present for anyone in my life. I don't need to spend extra if I don't feel comfortable in the relationship. I'm starting to feel like I'm a "convenient" girlfriend, not the woman he's in love with. I don't like that.
Moving the bed (into the spot where my dog's bed was) to make space for yoga has resulted in a leaky dog (uninary incontinence) who demands to be in my bed at all times. I think it's that she wants a view of the door. The upside is that she won't pee in my yoga space.. just my bed. Augh. The laundry and work this is going to take... I have diapers for her but she can't go out to the patio with them on. My dad can't take them off, and lets her in/out and into my room whenever she wants. A lot of people put their dogs down when they reach the leaky stage, but she still cuddles, goes for walks and eats.
We had the best cuddle with the cat this morning... all 3 of us. I think even my dog purred. I had a sweatshirt on to pad the cat and he kneaded on my neck. It felt amazing. I would have paid for that.
Looking for the stripped screw kit for the bathroom door. I must get the kitty box in there so he has a bathroom even if I close my bedroom door.
Focus for today is on getting food cooked and myself ready to go to Molly's tonight to use the jacuzzi and have a girls night in.
Focus for the weekend is getting the middle bedroom setup so that my dad can sleep in there and get a break when I'm awake and here. I'd offered him my bedroom to nap in, but with all the drama here I can't give up my spot to retreat to. He sleeps sitting up so I can just pop the recliner in there and make more space for the wheelchair. I think.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
good job having some food for a real meal instead of a binge. if i were you, my skin would be also thanking me - whenever i overdose on sugar i do break out on my face. my skin is very sensitive in general to my diet.
great job on cleaning up and booking your appts. you are really doing well, since you have rejoined us here after a few weeks away if i remember correctly :)
i'm glad you bought the cheaper tickets! it's the same concert as the more expensive tickets. you'll see the same stuff. hear the same things...i always go cheaper when i can (unless i were rich! haha!)
now that you have a cat, maybe think about the scenario with the dog...due to her getting older.
You are a true animal lover :)
You sound amazingly focused and in control. Proud of you and i love that you come here for support! thank you for the tips on my laptop!.
Extra post for today because I think it is worth it. I’m off my habits with all the hospice/dental stuff and my neck really hurts to the point where I’d ask for pain killers. I sighed and groaned while trying to get it together to go get milk. Dad asked what was wrong. I said I was feeling down. He offered me one of his frozen breakfast sandwiches... processed and simple carbs with sodium. Poison, basically. I got really sad and thought, this is why he’s sick. He always feels down and eats when he’s down.
Got out to the store and stopped next door for sides of hummus and broccoli. Shake it off.
Need to book an appointment with an OT. Actually makes me feel better.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Still haven't been able to focus and do family photos with mom. She's so angry and unhappy all the time. I'm starting to wish I hadn't called 911 for her any of the times she nearly died. She'd have had an easy, peaceful death the first time at least. She's literally starving to death.
A little anxious about BF. He hasn't invited me to any birthday plans (says he doesn't have any), hasn't introduced me to any of his friends, never talks about future plans, and we're going on 9mos. I figure I want to get him tickets to a horror convention for his birthday but I'm not sure if I should go for the $99 ($198 for 2) golden pass tickets or the $20 ($40 for 2) presale standard admission. Half of me thinks he won't be around long and not to go for the extra expense when cash is tight. The other half says thinking that way guarantees it.
Cat is acting a little aloof. I think he might be sick.
Went off nutrition plan last after Lunesta again. Ate bread, cereal, and ice cream... all things I don't normally go for but are here for my parents. Ugh. Apparently nocturnal eating is a side effect of Lunesta.
Ugh.
To get fitness back on track, I need to:
I took the gym and yoga off my "Pattern" portion of my calendar... time I reserve for each of the things I want to do regularly and the drive time to do them. I'm not going anywhere or doing anything. I'm just... Home. All day. All night. I've fallen out of the world.
So incredibly tired even though I got a full night of sleep and a few hours to myself this morning. Augh.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
I forget what lunesta is, will look it up. i hope you feel better.
as for your mom, with her sickness she isn't in her right mind. i am so sorry. don't take it personally, anythign she does or says, this is what happens and it is not related to you or anything you do. she is struggling and i think you made the right decision not to get a feeding tube. i am sorry, Happy. keep striving for yourself and to do good things in your life. stay positive, stay focussed and keep up the good work you do on getting back on track. you can do this, you are a smart woman!
Your list sounds a lot like my lists lately! i also have too many greens to handle - cooking them today! :) I got them from Misfits. I also got a cauliflower - will be roasting it! ...and too many other things! i have cucumbers which i'll turn into a cucumber salad. just so much food! which i'm happy about - i do not have to shop for veggies. i even have those tiny sweet peppers. planning to make a bunch of things.
Like you again - planning to change where i work out - really wanting to start to exercise on my terrace. only thing is, i'll have to keep opening the terrace door every time i want to use a difference size of weights - i am nervous letting bugs in!? lol.....
and like you, i must organize! i KNOW you also love to organize and plan for the future (with being safe and stuff from mother nature / earthquakes!)
also, for your #8 impossible goal,you must realize it is HIM not you. you cannot change him. if he is pulling out, just in your head know this. so he doesn't hurt you. i am sorry you are going thru rough times now with this.
Why did you take yoga off? Why are you staying home? i recommend you to try to fit one in...
i think you might be a little depressed about the things that you cannot change - your mom and bf...
remember to sleep (oh, is that the lunesta!?)...and you will feel better.
i'm always rooting for you.
Thank you for cheering me on! I get so lonely and this site really helps.
Extra post because good news from the dentist warrants it!!!! Oral hygeine routine hasn't really improved but nutrition has... and for the first time ever, I have no plaque buildup, receeding, pocketed, or bleeding gums.
Yay Rise nutritionist!!!
Except for the giant abcess that means I need to get an old baby tooth out ASAP. OW.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
you have a baby tooth!?
Kitty spent the night out of the crate last night. I had enough trust built up in him that I was going to try to sleep with him last night, but my dog was in bed already and he said "No thank you" very politely, then dug at my door to be let out. He then spent the entire night glued to my mom in her hospital bed. She really wasn't feeling well, and I deeply appreciate this little kitty keeping her company. Her mood this morning is a lot better than normal. Waking up and saying good morning to her was so much less heartbreaking.
Also tremendously relieved to see him go find his litterbox in his crate all on his own this AM.
Got anxious about bf last night. He doesn't want to do overnights on fridays or saturdays. Fri he sees his buddy for coffee till 1am. Saturday isn't fun for me because he has to be at his mom's by 9am. Also we just don't talk much anymore... so it's boring. I'd tell him I'm bored off my ass and not having fun, but I don't want to rock the boat right now.
Aunt wants her son to connect me with a consulting job 4.5 hours south (with traffic). I don't know how she thinks I can pull that off. I'm all PTSD from the drama, taking care of my mom at home, dad is headed to hospice next (he's eating emotionionally and bringing on dialysis). Plus there's still 3 hoarded rooms to clear out. And also... I just don't want to give up time with my mom. I know she's not her biggest fan... but my mom is still my mom.
Dental stuff today. I can do this.
Step 1... pants.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Good luck with the dentist.
i guess if you really don't want the 4.5hr away job, don't take it?
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Been there, done that. I know exactly from where you post (figuratively speaking).
Today is a new day.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/18/2019:
I am quite sure that cake tasted SO GOOD as you tasted it...after that, like you say, back on the horse!
i'm always disappointed with baked goods and treats with sugar. they taste great, yes, but then i just get a sugar high and then low and never satisfied. i always find it wasn't worth it! unless i'm just taking a taste or like a bite, that's always worth it! but a whole piece or slice, just seems a waste of my calories because it is only satisfying me in the moment and then i just deal with later cravings and more issues later after having it! (my whole spiel on cake!)
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