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happy-1 - Friday Jan 26, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

A little flat today. Tomorrow I go scout out a food bank that runs out of someone's garage for a volunteer opportunity. Tuesday I go check out a methodist church that runs a food bank and a soup kitchen that could use help with kitchen deep cleaning for health codes so that their regular volunteers can get a leg up and do some donor work. Still no word from the church group organizers. Lame.

Got to an agreement with a guy off Fiverr to do two homepage variants with accompanying style tiles for formatting of elements for $80. See how it goes and if it works I will give him more revisions and more pages. $10 a page, $5 a revision. This works because I already did all the information architecture and photo asset organization.

Took parents to Hometown buffet as organized and planned. It is nice to do something nice for them.

------ Up: 9am. B: hotlink, 3 eggs, 2 paleo pancakes, syrup D: 4pm - hometown buffet. Spinach salad, 2 small pieces steak, bite plate of mashed potatoes, mac n cheese, cornbread dressing, gravy, inside of pumpkin pie. Bite plate of desserts S: 6:30pm another buffet plate, mexican this time.... an enchilada, taco meat, cheese, sour cream. S: up too late packing had cheese and crackers

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/26/2018:
Sounds like a plan and happy to hear that you enjoyed some time with your parents too.

happy-1 on 01/27/2018:

happy-1 - Thursday Jan 25, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Crap. 5am. I sat down to do a couple of things on pete's site before bed and completely forgot to go to bed. At least I got through the creative block and nailed down 2 key pages. I also floated a query to a guy on Fiverr in my time zone to see what he would charge me to polish up the pages. They look like I did them with my feet.



1:30pm. Have been up for an hour and a half. Actually woke up on time at 8am, but taking Vyvanse when tired had the "opposite" effect and I literally passed out. I feel pretty calm and focused though. No "Maderall" crankiness.

This video is dead on how I feel about cleaning up my parent's place.



B: 1pm oatmeal, raisins, walnuts, protein powder, margerine

S: 6:30 pm - lentil pasta, turkey bolognese, veggies, mozzarella, parmesan

L: 9pm snack fest... tried to do a little bit of different things... mix it up to eat less. Felt "snacky", 1 paleo hotlink, seaweed, hummus, gluten free pretzels, raw almonds, 1 power cookie




Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/25/2018:
Lucky you can sleep today!

horn_of_plenty on 01/25/2018:
so he's like a webdesigner? cool...too bad you aren't married to a webdesigner who'd do it free...lol...

lately i see some key good things about being married...but still enjoy by independence...i doubt i'll ever get bored of being independent

happy-1 on 01/25/2018:
Yeah there's a lot of different kinds of web designers. I do product management and will do the black and white mockups of what should go on the page but I just don't have an eye for color and layout. It is something I can buy for like $5-10 an hour in the phillipines, bolivia etc. If I'm picking skills for a husband, I'll take any ex-military and good with cars combo I can get

horn_of_plenty on 01/26/2018:
he should pay you to work on his site.

happy-1 on 01/26/2018:
I am doing this to have a portfolio site and to put the pieces I have learned over time together as a cohesive picture of my skillset. He has content and traffic. I'd have to develop all the content and generate all the traffic. I don't get the feeling that he makes enough to pay for a site like this. A digital agency would charge $500k + maintenance fees and maybe deliver half of what he was promised to do what I am doing.

bearcountrygg on 01/26/2018:
You mean you aren't getting paid to work for Pete?????

happy-1 on 01/26/2018:
No. I haven't done this before. I've done parts around it but not the whole of it. I have no idea if I can actually do it. Plus it's not like I am delivering on a schedule.

happy-1 - Wednesday Jan 24, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Up on my feet, more or less. My poor old pup peed the bed this morning. No more letting her sleep in. 3x this month now.

Back on the healthy eating. Hope I feel better tomorrow and can go to bootcamp. At least I was up on time today.


Bummed because hot guy on dating site said "I'm not looking for anything serious but...". It's really too bad I can't actually punch someone through the computer. It's basically "I'm not looking for anything serious...  with you. Here, hold still." He was offended that I was offended. He was like... well not if you're not into it. I was like... why would any woman be into it after you say that? You've basically just said that you are just screwing them till you find someone you actually like. It sounds like the sex would be terrible anyway. Finally I was just like gotta go, ttyl. Augh.


AAAAAND... trying to go through the church group and help out. But they are like slow as molasses. Tried to do a conference call to get direction etc. AND NO ONE SHOWED.

Why? Because they picked a drop date of Feb 10. Working backwards from that date I realized they need to get marketing support from the church by eod Friday and donation buckets decorated by EOD tuesday to get through the publication cycle for next weekend's services.

....And they haven't caught on to all of the realities of needing to partner with another group and be covered with liability insurance. And that if you are going to show up at another church, you need to do a donation drive first... nothing huge but something.

....And that the church's community is mostly following online via Instagram/Snapchat (even though most attendees live within a 7 mile radius according to traffic stats) and showing up intermittently so you have to plan your social media posts and trail to get people to make donations either online or in person at the church.

PLUS... the group is all chicks. The discussion is inane. They could totally use this opportunity to market a new 40+ christian singles group and pull in new blood.

I think this is why I don't go to church. 

I have $100 that says the teen lifegroup will get something stupid to trend on Snapchat or Whatsapp that they spent 2 seconds on and our group will look lame.


BUT... Today I got a call from Molly and she is feeling better. She is trying occupational therapy to help with her RA.

I have $100 that says they tell her to try a Fitbit to help with her f-ing circulation.



For no apparent reason my parents continued their recent streak of behaving like semi-normal human beings by bringing home 3 fish tacos for me. They are nowhere near healthy... fried, tortillas, cream sauce... and blew my calorie plan for the day... 


And I love my dog. She is the best.


Up: 7am

S: coffee, half n half, a scoop of chai mix (85 cal + 40 cal)

B: oatmeal with protein powder, seeds, dried apples (350 cal)

S: orange (90 cal)

L: 3 fish tacos (1,113 calories)

S: brownie at starbucks (380 cal)

D: 1 cauliflower pizza (760 cal) + 15 pepperoni (140 cal) + sprinkle of parm (100 cal)



Total: 3,058... OMFG. No wonder I am fat. Got to get back on the horse and the 7-8 cups of vegetables a day

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/24/2018:
good eating so far...

sorry about your bed, that literally STINKS!

happy-1 on 01/24/2018:
Yeah but she's my baby and I love her. Boiling up a pot of chicken thighs now and about to go for a walk.

bearcountrygg on 01/24/2018:
Our last house dog did the same thing...the carpet cleaner was in daily use for 2 years.....she felt bad when it happened too.

happy-1 on 01/24/2018:

Maria7 on 01/24/2018:
Hope you are having a good day.

happy-1 on 01/24/2018:
One step at a time I will get it right. TY for your kind words.

Donkey on 01/24/2018:
I continue to send healing thoughts your way. I hope each day, you feel better.

happy-1 on 01/24/2018:
It must be working! I DO feel better. :-)

happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 23, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Up on my feet. Washing bedding. Not ready to drive anywhere. Tomorrow probably.

I still am not sure what I ate today.

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/24/2018:
Glad you are starting to feel better.

happy-1 on 01/24/2018:
Hugs! Thank you

happy-1 - Monday Jan 22, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Another lost day, Monday. I feel better a little though. Should be functional tomorrow.

Ate tons and no idea how much seltzer I drank.

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/23/2018:
Must be needing liquids and possibly salt, dehydration is a thing....keep drinking...hope today gets better.

horn_of_plenty on 01/23/2018:
good job on having seltzer and not other types of drinks with tons of additives

Donkey on 01/23/2018:
(((hugs))) Be kind and patient with yourself while you're sick. There will be time to get back on track when you're feeling better.

happy-1 - Monday Jan 22, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4


Sunday was kind of a lost day. Woke up at 4am sick as a dog and had to cancel my plans. Spent most of the day looking for meds I bought last year in bulk for cheap I need to use up. Mom was mad at me for being sick, which is weird . Dog and dad were extra nice to me which was nice.

No idea what I ate but it was probably 2 or 3 times what I should have. I don't know why I get so hungry when I have a fever. I just ate too much.

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/22/2018:
There is so many things going around this winter.....it seems like everyone is sick....Hope you feel better today!

horn_of_plenty on 01/22/2018:
feel better...the worst for me has been eating "old" food even veggies and being a little sick after that.

speaking of which, i've got old veggies with me today lol. and i didn't even cook them, my friend did...and i have no idea when he did!

Donkey on 01/22/2018:
I hope you feel better soon...

happy-1 - Saturday Jan 20, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Pms is finally over. I feel so much better.... augh. Also might be finally refilling my vyvanse prescription. I just feel so much better even though cramp monster is eating me alive. I woke up this morning, took meds, made coffee, ate breakfast and then tackled a present my dog left last night. second time this month. I also tackled attempts at repairing the spotbot, a miracle for old dog owners. I also took a pass at the screen door for the kitchen but may not have the right materials.

The thing about vyvanse is when I haven't taken it for a while and I take it I suddenly start cleaning and repairing things. I don't know if I just don't notice stuff is dirty and broken or I notice but skip it because whatever elses is going on steals my attention and I don't do the little stuff to clean/mend/fix and keep things in order.

Also, while Adderall helps me keep it together I wonder if the delivery system for me is really "madderall" because it gives some people rage issues but might just make me cranky. Logging everyday this month and maybe next will help me figure that out.

Glad I stuck close to home today. Lots of errands to run. Plumbing stuff, a slip for my nice dress, parts for the scrren door, bins to organize, some drug store odds. Also a good opportunity to go to sat night services again. Glad I dyed my hair and did my nails.


More messages from friends worried about Helena. I think she's going through something and not telling people about it.


Horrified to find my mom ate a ton of protein cookies. OMG. 450 cal, 2 servings of protein each.

She just said "no wonder my sugar's so high"


Woke: 9:30
S: missed
B: misssd
S: coffee, half n half, lean cuisine extra mozzarella
L: 2 Paleo breakfast cookies
S: leftover turkey meatloaf, gravy, spinach, and potatoes.
D: lentil soup, cauliflower cheese pizza, sweet potato flaxseed
S: 2 hot links

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Friday Jan 19, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

Slept way too long today. 11 hours? Yikes

Parents bought deli meats and rolls yesterday... TONS OF IT. Having a hard time ignoring it. Wish it wasn't here. 


Worked on Pete's site most of the day. Got hungry early and made turkey-stuffed eggplant boats, which weere actually insanely good. Mom was watching tv with me and we couldn't settle on anything and I suddenly went stir-crazy. Went to Costco to fill meds, but it was really crowded. Kind of ran around looking for junk food on the way home and resolved to get apples. On the way to the store was a Chinese place and I succumbed to Orange chicken and egg rolls. At least I'm less restless.


Up - 10am, but was in bed on time-ish at 11. Took a long time to fall asleep.

S: missed

B: missed

S: coffee, halfnhalf, 2 paleo breakfast cookies

L: 3 eggs, cheese, olive oil, pasta sauce, veg - too watery

S: pear, 3 cheese cubes, 4 slices deli turkey, last of the butterscotch chips

D: 1/2 eggplant, 1 cup meat sauce, mozzarella, cauliflower rice

S: orange chicken, 2 egg rolls, about a third of the fried rice and chow mein

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/19/2018:
lately i'm eating so many cookies, def not as satisfying as say an egg on bread.

the high sweets def makes me hungrier around lunchtime, that's for sure!

happy-1 on 01/19/2018:
Yeah, I made them last night... More of a homemade protein/energy bar. I used vanilla whey protein powder as the base/sweetener so no sugar rush and crash. If you're going to eat cookies, go for these. All superfoods. I think this made about 24 ice cream scoop-sized cookies.

1 cup coconut oil 3 eggs 1 can pumpkin puree 1 cup apple puree (in food processor, or use applesauce) 5 scoops vanilla protein powder 2 cups coconut flour 1/3 bottle pumpkin pie spice (for the properties) 2tsp baking powder chia seed meal flax seed meal maca oats pecans dark chocolate chips

horn_of_plenty on 01/20/2018:
Ty for recipe Looks good !!!! Also I sleep Lots too - I am not so sure it's so bad to sleep 11 hours :) I slept around 10 last night I think

happy-1 on 01/22/2018:
Mmmm sleep.....

Donkey on 01/20/2018:
Are orange chicken and fried rice part of the paleo plan?

happy-1 on 01/20/2018:
No they are "I'm having a PMS meltdown and must eat something salty fatty crispy sweet and terrible for me or I will bite someone" plan.

happy-1 - Thursday Jan 18, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4



Miracle of miracles, the outdoor timer on the TV worked last night and nobody fought me on keeping the tv going till the wee hours.


3:30 - Took care of some painful but necessary personal stuff and started repacking bags I took apart last night. Chilling on the patio in a lawn chair with my laptop now. Should do this more often.

I feel fat and stupid without adhd meds. Brain fog. Like swimming in jello. Everthing has more resistance and is kind of hazy, and for some reason I crave cigarettes. BLECH. I can go pick them up tomorrow, but today will suck.

Things I can do today to still be productive:

  • Call dental insurance and make sure my premium is paid
  • Work on pete's site
  • Make porkchops for dinner, and throw in pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, and egg cups at the same time.
  • Go for a run when it cools down and workout at home
  • Dye my hair, do my nails
  • Pack my bag in case I can head down to see ex this weekend, not that I should go.

What I actually want to do:

  • Take a nap

Dog is insane to go for a long walk or have some fun but can't go for a long walk anymore. I should see if her dog carriage will turn back into a stroller after being in the sun for so long. I really like that as a project for tomorrow.

Bootcamp class is tonight but I don't want to drive or pay for gas when I can't run errands at the same time. I just feel so discombobulated all the time. Hopefully getting back on the vyvanse tomorrow will help that.

Things that would make me feel less "everything is everywhere":

  • Chocolate
  • Dying my hair and getting my nails in shape.
  • Teeth cleaning and dental checkup.
  • Having all of the rashes on my hands and feet heal up
  • A really, really good hug
  • Getting the mess in the living room tamed.  I've been at it for years now and I can't get to "done" unless I get rid of furniture and buy a cabinet. I don't want to spend the money.


Planning a fun and cheap day out with my camping ladies. Going to an under $10 thai place that is well reviewed on yelp and the oc register, followed by $2 baked goods at 85c and a $9 movie. 

One of the ladies sent out her list of picks from the Golden Globes. Everything on it was either about religous persecution, rape, coming out of the closet, war, disease, or poverty. I dunno if I want to sit through that without a fast forward button. 

I was like, who else needs a laugh and wants to see Pitch Perfect 3? Rebel Wilson 4 ever! Got 2 seconds. Could theoretically get a second ticket and see Star Wars after. 


Woke up at 6:30, but fell back asleep till 9:30am.

S: Missed

B: Missed

S: 10 am - Coffee, half n half, oatmeal, protein powder, raisins, walnuts, margerine

L: 1pm - Leftovers - Turkey meatloaf, poatoes, gravy, spinach. yum.

S: 3pm - Vegetable soup with shredded cheese

Extra snack: 4:40 2 zucchini muffins. margerine (working on pete's site not ready to make dinner yet.

D: 2 breaded pork chops, cauliflower rice, brussel sprouts, light lemonade... should not have had the second pork chop but I skipped 1 full meal. I think that was about 350 calories each porkchop so not over for the day I don't think.

S: pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip pecan superfood paleo cookies... ooof.

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/18/2018:
yes stinks to use savings money, for sure....wishing you better money situation going forward.

happy-1 on 01/18/2018:
I'm technically ok, but I just need to get my s**t together

Maria7 on 01/19/2018:
Hope you have a good day.

happy-1 on 01/22/2018:

happy-1 - Wednesday Jan 17, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 233.4

1am still up might as well start a new entry. I need to remember in the morning to make coffee right away and get out for a walk. I spent too much time today in a fog. I need to tackle the things I must do and not wander over to cooking sites and recipes.


2pm. Have been up and about since 9am and semi-productive. Have gone down a bunch of rat holes instead of doing my most critical to do item today which is reviewing my debit card statement for fraud charges.

Rat holes I spent time on:

  • Reviewing new grocery sales that were posted today and planning my shopping for the week. On my calendar for today but not most important thing to be doing during my prime focus time.
  • Looking for a way to block pinterest on my iphone. I found one!  https://freedom.to
  • Setting up blocklists for my iphone and laptop on Freedom.to and rescuetime. Debatable whether I actually need to do this right now????
  • Cleaning junk out of my personal email - Debatable whether I actually need to do this right now????


Actually did manage to do some on target work till 5pm.


Then I needed to make dinner... Mom might not have gotten the half and half I was desperate for, but she did grab a couple of pounds of ground turkey on sale. I cooked an easy recipe for dinner in a completely disorganized fashion that took 3.5 hours when it should have taken 1 hr to cook, eat, and clean up.

Rat holes I spent time on:

  • Sink was full of dishes when I started so after I got everything on I washed them all. One pot was burned, so extra scrubbing
  • Mushroom gravy was a disaster multiple times and tried a few different things to recover it at each stage (first it turns out arrowroot does not make roux... it makes margerine-boba, then it turns out it doesn't meld well with red wine vinegar or dark soy sauce, then I forgot to mix cornstarch in hot water to make a slurry and made a lumpy mess... beaten thin it was still off, so I mixed in some half and half which required tempering...  still off so I added a carton of beef broth... took forever to gel back up again... but finally it was edible)
  • Had to clean off dining room table from yesterday's "How many meals can I make from my pantry" experiment
  • Dad had meltdown over a piece of onion he inhaled (dinner turned out crazy good and he inhaled it without chewing). Then he wanted seconds but I had already packed the leftovers into single serving trays and he didn't like that (mom gained 19lbs, dad can't fit through the dog gate again, watching portions). Whole thing took a while.
  • Dad's meltdown triggered my asthma attack. 
  • Couldn't find my inhaler. Tore apart my backpack, first aid kit, spare gear bag, and several other things trying to find it... Wasn't doing so hot. Then I took a break while it kicked in. (I still need to put all of it away again and repack my backpack (aaack).)
  • Washed all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, started a load of laundry.

HOWEVER, dinner was insane and I actually had to stop myself from drinking the gravy straight down like a beverage. It was a definite fat girl moment. I don't think I ever wanted to drink gravy before.

2lbs of turkey, a bag of yukon gold potatoes, and the assorted vegetables on hand made 8 unbelievable meals.

      Total Servings Price per Serving
Turkey Meatloaf     $7.35 8 $0.92
  2lbs turkey $4.00      
  Onion $0.25      
  Carrot $0.50      
  Celery $0.50      
  3 muffins $1.00      
  Spices $0.20      
  Flax seed $0.20      
  2 eggs $0.60      
  Parsley $0.10      
Gravy     $6.10 20 $0.31
  mushrooms (1/2 pack) $2.50      
  Beef broth $2.00      
  corn starch $0.05      
  arrow root $0.25      
  veg base $0.25      
  mushroom base $0.25      
  half and half $0.50      
  soy sauce, red wine vinegar $0.05      
  1/2 onion $0.25      
Potatoes     $2.05 8 $0.26
  Potatoes $1.50      
  Margerine $0.25      
  milk $0.25      
  salt $0.05      
Roll     2 8 0.25
Soup / Salad     2 8 0.25




S: Missed

B: Oatmeal, raisins, walnuts, protein powder

S: Skipped

L: Skipped

S: 2 paleo hotdog buiscuts, mustard

D: ? - meatloaf, potatoes, gravy, veg soup

S: 9pm - apple and peanut butter

11pm - starving. plain oatmeal and an orange. 

Progress as of today: 74.6 lbs lost so far, only 53.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/17/2018:
Its def easy to be distracted! You are right to tackle the task first - maybe put reminder on your phone

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:
Our distractions are always things that we can get lost in and enjoy...I STILL think you need to be in the food industry, have you considered starting a you tube business? That costs nothing and if it catches on can be a big moneymaker. Have you ever worked in a restaurant, have you considered nutrition or diatetics, maybe work in a hospital planning menus and diets?

happy-1 on 01/17/2018:
Yeah, that's why I want to do a meal planning app. A blog (with youtube content or other social media) is stronger when it drives traffic to a monetized service... You'll see a lot of them with a pdf you can buy or boosting another service with an affiliate link.

There's a whole startup culture around food tech. See this Forbes article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ninaroberts/2018/01/16/advice-for-early-stage-foodtech-social-entrepreneurs-by-foodbytes-founder-manuel-gonzalez-part-ii/#74e284bc127f

I do think HOP is a strong enough writer to do the same thing for a "Fitness in NYC" theme.

happy-1 on 01/17/2018:
But my real issue is that my living situation has me in a constant state of ADHD overwhelm so I am always functioning on a third of my brain and in an emotionally reactive state. Whenever there is a slight disruption, I self-soothe by looking at Pinterest for recipes.

BearCountryGG on 01/17/2018:
Interesting...and I agree about HOP too.........

happy-1 on 01/17/2018:
Ha, yeah if I ever get my **** together we could start a company, lol.

horn_of_plenty on 01/17/2018:
Thanks for the compliments ladies ;)

horn_of_plenty on 01/18/2018:
Sounds like a lot of events occurring at dinner my gosh wishing you simplicity today

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