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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Sunday Jul 15, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 222.1

Up another pound. Normal weight variation.

Feeling better. A little. Ran out and got dad a frying pan and wrapped it. Will make dinner about 6 but for now I am finishing fixing my phone and binge watching Riverdale, a teen drama adaptation of theArchie and Jughead comic that is delicious trash. Don't drink... don't smoke... what do you do? Netflix!

Progress as of today: 94.9 lbs lost so far, only 16.1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/15/2018:
I loved Archie and Veronica comics....definitely from my generation!

happy-1 on 07/16/2018:
Yeah they do a really fun spin on it. American pop culture layered over Twin Peaks. So fun.


horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2018:
good plans on Netflix instead of drinking and smoking! a good pot goes a long way...



happy-1 - Saturday Jul 14, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 222.1

Ok. First official day of trying to do the schedule the OT set up for me and tracking it. I was up crazy early on my own... 4am.

----

Did get the dog walk in... sort of got the stretching self hug in... got heat stroke about 11 and crashed out 1 till 4

---

Really off track on eating today and up a pound on the scale. Did accomplish major goal of taking electronics and other stuff to hazmat disposal before it got hot. Yay me. Feels very freeing... good to be able to take "repair broxen ____" off my list (x20)... and have the space. Just a little less stressed but it makes all the difference in terms of mental bandwidth.

---

Attempted to make larb (Thai-style ground meat dish) without any of the ingredients... just mushroom boullion, lime juice concentrate, jaggery, garlic, ginger, onion, cilantro, and ground turkey... and ended up with a pretty good cilantro-lime turkey over brown rice. It wasn't the Thai takeout I was craving but very little is and delivery is always disappointing. Could definitely have done with some spring rolls though!!!!

Maybe I will try to make pad thai this week :)

---

I miss being out on Saturday night and having fun.

Progress as of today: 94.9 lbs lost so far, only 16.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/14/2018:
Boundaries....Good for you for sticking to them today. I agree that it sounds like sticking to the errands you need to do today will be better for him and you (and mom) in the long run.

Was he offended that you declined? I hope not.

happy-1 on 07/14/2018:
I got about half done... will need to run out tomorrow early AM and try to finish them... including finding him a present for his birthday... getting him a new non-stick frying pan... I ordered him more fans but they won't be here till mid-week.

And yeah he was mad mostly because he finds the one destination rule unreasonable... but my mom can do that with him not me. She'll yell and boss him around to eat some glucose tablets when he starts getting low blood sugar. I don't catch it till it's already a disaster.


horn_of_plenty on 07/14/2018:
I agree with donkey that some boundaries are helpful and that there's compromise that is also helpful with family !!!

Nice job being productive I guess your mind was ready to go early to get a head start on your goals !i used to be like that but now I get way more sleep and it's no longer easy for me to wake up before the crack of dawn earlier than my alarm !!

happy-1 on 07/14/2018:
Yeah I got a migraine midday but bounced back about 5. Just need to get used to it again.

happy-1 on 07/14/2018:
And hugs


bearcountrygg on 07/14/2018:
You know your Dad's limits.....I agree...1 thing a trip...and if today wasn't the day...than it will have to be another day. On another day...could you take him to the drive thru at Mickey D's...and then go in another place?

happy-1 on 07/14/2018:
I might be able to take him somewhere then McDonalds then home... the blood sugar control just isn't there... it goes down then shoots back up again and all the physical and emotional complications that go with it. I dunno how this was easier than eating healthy and exercising... but it's the choice he made.


bearcountrygg on 07/15/2018:
Is he on insulin ?

happy-1 on 07/15/2018:
Yeah


Donkey on 07/15/2018:
I feel your Saturday night pain...

happy-1 on 07/15/2018:
Lol!


bearcountrygg on 07/15/2018:
If he is on insulin shots...several times a day...he may not be using it correctly...…..lots of diabetics in our families…...some on ills, some on pen just at bedtime...and some on several shots a day immediately before eating...and it needs to be adjusted to what he will eat...…...diabetics can get pretty goofy...if their numbers are off......that may be his whole problem...it's a real balancing act.


bearcountrygg on 07/15/2018:
That should have said PILLS



happy-1 - Friday Jul 13, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 222.1

Another teeny tiny incremental loss of that .1 lb! Yay!!!!

Probably God saying "Good on you for sticking to your plan yesterday and also for not going camping to take stuff to hazmat but you don't want to go anyway so only .1 for you..."

Ha.

Fell off logging food on the Rise app, partly due to app crash, partly just generally discouraged and lonely. It's not much fun to try to do all the things you need to do and stay away from people who want to do things that make you fat.

My ex in SD wants me to come hang out but a) my inner 5 year old doesn't want to go because he didn't send me a valentine's day card till March, b) I need to get work done on my car, c) We do well when I'm there then after I go home things get weird.

Meh. Maybe time to go back on justOKcupid.

Slept in today. I think my mom threw up last night. Worried.

---

Online challenge had tasks to help you pick 3 people who can support you, then identify 5 ways they can support you. Here were my 5:

Not bringing home junk

Going to bed on time

Picking restaraunts that aren't all you can eat and have easy healthy picks

Picking things up at the market I ask for

Helping me stay on track with my schedule and plans

Progress as of today: 94.9 lbs lost so far, only 16.1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/13/2018:
Hope your Mom is okay...…..

happy-1 on 07/13/2018:
She says she swallowed wrong and was coughing a lot



happy-1 - Friday Jul 13, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 222.1

Correction...222.1! The scale was partially on the rug and uneven! Yay me!!!! Real loss!!!!

Progress as of today: 94.9 lbs lost so far, only 16.1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/13/2018:
YEAHHHH YOU!!!



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 12, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.1

My day started off track but I am more or less hanging in there, probably because I walked my dog for an hour this morning, which according to the OT is a sensory input that helps with focus and task adhesion. I was up puttering about tidying and packing meal prep bags of oatmeal. My mom came out couldn't find the exact right measuring cup (there were several all for the same 1/4 cup measure but they weren't the right one). I had the presence of mind to not yell back, grab my bags and head to my doc appt. after I had my bissell spot bot in my car already so I was able to get it inspected at the repair center... Turns out it is a $180 disposable electronic because it has plastic gears that can't be replaced. This just makes me mad. I refuse to buy another one. Just on principle. Too stressed, hot, and itchy so I am seeing a movie, then I will go next door to the kinkos and get things done.

Seriously debating cancelling going camping this weekend so I can avoid the drama of coming home to discover a huge mess of dishes and trash, and also hit the hazmat collection center this saturday. I've got a backseat full of broken electronics and it turns out the local center won't take anything they can't get cash for

---

rise app is crashing soblogging here today

6am - oatmeal, raisins, walnuts, protein powder, coconut cream. Water

11am - costco chicken salad 1/2 dressing and croutons

1pm - trader joes turkey swiss wrap and a canned coffee

Progress as of today: 93.9 lbs lost so far, only 17.1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/12/2018:
I had one of the original spot bots when they first came out...it didn't last long either.....tossed it...and used a carpet cleaner daily...until the dog passed....

happy-1 on 07/12/2018:
Aaaaaaaaw hugs


horn_of_plenty on 07/13/2018:
seems you got a lot going on...as far as the canned coffees, aren't they just majorly overpriced!? they're the only thing i haven't gone for yet in specialty food stores, preferring still iced coffees from DD as they are less calories than the sweetened ones usually, aside from the black canned coffees that is! there are sooo many coffee options, ready made now, even at the supermarket!

happy-1 on 07/13/2018:
Yeah, I never buy them but I didn't get cofffee at home because I had to flee that morning over the damn measuring cup, lol! I need caffeine for asthma



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 11, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.1

Weight loss!!! Only .4 lb BUT it is movement in the right direction!!! I think it was all the chores I did during the blackout while sweating like a pig... combined with the two meals out, ice cream, and cashews. Basically a free day and my body gave up weight. Also, another pride point... the mexican place I stopped at gives you free chips and salsa, but I declined them and ordered carne asada tacos... semi-healthy.

Had to cancel on yoga last night to help parents with blackout. Got charged a fee.

Occupational therapist today. Blech.

---

Slightly amazed at how much I got done at home during the blackout with fewer distractions... I got all the plasticware lids and dishes matched up and put away, gunk off the stove, saw bottom on the dishes in the kitchen sink, changed my sheets, got all my laundry sorted and put away, cleaned out my junk from the front entryway... went through some junk in a rusty bag and sorted it out for trash / recycling, loaded up all the electronics recycling in my car to drop on the way home from the OT, got two meals knocked out so I can at least get first breakfast and second breakfast on track today, washed my car... Three major clutter areas busted!

Saw great big calendar desk blotter sized pads at the store that I could put up on the fridge as a central command station to help with organizing centrally... but not sure I want to take on the project of manually maintaining a calendar separate from the one on my phone. It would help me know when my dad needs a ride if he put it up there but unless I have it on my phone too I won't remember. Only $8 though... hmmm

---

Occupational therapist was interesting. I'm pretty sure she thinks I am out of my mind... But not yet... I have a few more inches of sanity rope I can hang onto and pull myself back. She may also just not be sure how to help me because it's not like I am having problems showing up for appointments, doing assignments, etc. It's that I feel like I am stuck in sand and my wheels are spinning. As she says, it is about meeting your own expectations.

We went over my time tracking exercise and she had me color in how my time met my expectations.It was lucky that I had also done a time plan for how I currently structure my time... It made the exercise easier. I don't know why they don't make that part of the assignment. Anyway... She had me modify my time plan to always walk my dog for an hour at 6 AM and do stretching/yoga/pushups for 30 min after lunch at 12:30 PM. This is supposed to help improve my focus and ability to stay on task.

So we will see!

Progress as of today: 93.9 lbs lost so far, only 17.1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/11/2018:
Congrats on the loss!!!! You did get a lot done...good for you!

happy-1 on 07/11/2018:
TY!!! It feels good to see a clean entryway. Like it's someone else's house. It also feels good to see a reward for my efforts. I swear I only lose weight if I do something right... like sucking up missing yoga and getting a fee to make sure my parents handled the blackout ok. It was probably only .4 and not 1 because I kind of didn't want to go to yoga anyway, lol. God may be speaking through my Costco deal scale.


graindart on 07/11/2018:
Always good to see the scale moving in the right direction.

happy-1 on 07/11/2018:
Yippee! Momentum is hardest when you start... but it builds.


Donkey on 07/11/2018:
I have a wall calendar that I got from the church at Christmas time for free. I have the kids' write in their schedules, plus any appointments that myself or the husband might have. Helps me manage my life in relation to theirs -- so that I'm not asking a million times, When's your next day off? LOL! So that might help you. I'm not sure a blotter size calendar is what you need though. Wouldn't that be too huge, too heavy?

Any loss is a good loss - way to go!

happy-1 on 07/11/2018:
Yay weight loss!

I was thinking with a large blotter size one the little pot its can fit on it and be moved around easily... so like a trip to a store for my dad... or me planning a mail run can get picked up and moved to the next day... there's also space to write large for my dad who can't see much.

My dad won't write in his stuff. He won't even make a shopping list, even when he was younger... my mom would say "make a list" and he would just keep repeating himself louder. Augh. My mom won't do it unless it is her idea because she's oppositional by nature. So even me buying it would ruin it before it started, lol.


bearcountrygg on 07/12/2018:
Happy....You have a LOT of insight into what makes your whole family tick!!!!! You know....so many people live entire lifetimes never figuring those things out!!!!


horn_of_plenty on 07/12/2018:
at first the occupational therapist was the type a kid goes to - for help with actual body tasks and body movements.


innerpeace on 07/12/2018:
Wow you got tons done! That is amazing and you should be so proud. I have an issue with time management as well, I hope you find something that works for you. Dog time is a MUST!! I love the time I take walking my dog.



happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 10, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Today is a challenge. A blackout with no estimated time for service to be restored... AND a heatwave. I made a major mistake on dates and missed a recruiter meeting. Just spacey from 2.5 days of cleanup and 3 instances of heat stroke... I get it really easy. Always have.

I really need a nap. So bad. The fat girl inside of me says "pizza". The skinny girl I am trying to be says "get **** done and go to bed early".

---

And the kid inside me heard the ice cream truck that has gone by everyday for the last however many years and said... go get an ice cream cone with your dog... and I did.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2018:
drink more water, maybe some electrolytes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be careful in the heat. it is easy to feel bad in this weather!

i hope tomorrow will be better for you....so sorry about the power outage. that is very inconvenient.

happy-1 on 07/10/2018:
Hugs! Ty!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/10/2018:
maybe have something else italian instead of pizza? when i'm tired, i also crave food / carbs.

happy-1 on 07/10/2018:
Mmmm eggplant parm!!! I'll make some pasta with the shiritaki noodles in my fridge tomorrow. Good idea!

happy-1 on 07/10/2018:
Mmmm eggplant parm!!! I'll make some pasta with the shiritaki noodles in my fridge tomorrow. Good idea!


bearcountrygg on 07/11/2018:
Hope your power is back on now....that sounds miserable.

happy-1 on 07/11/2018:
Till 11:00 last night :(



happy-1 - Monday Jul 09, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

223.6. Scale keeps laughing at me but I guess no damage was done on my vacation if I am only up ".1". So frustrating. Spent 6h last night vacumimg and cleaning with little or nothing to show for it except fewer ants. I am so glad I bought and put out ant traps before I left. Could have been worse.

---

Spent too much time on tracking time today... literally. Tried to use IFTT to put fitbit and cronometer information onto a single dashboard with my other apps and couldn't do it... not the first user to have this problem. Fitbit does not make calories consumed part of their IFTT channel. Argh.

---

Having a hard time managing hunger today. I eat and I am still starving. I am behind on the veggies today because everything is still a mess.

---

Had to lock my older than dirt dog in her crate next to me on the bed to keep her on her cooling mat in front a of a fan. She has stopped panting at least. I just keep misting her with a spray bottle. Why a dog can't figure out that they should stay someplace cool instead of following me around the house in 90+ weather... I do not know. 

Upside, I can get up to get a snack without tripping over her and there's no banging the screen door.

Downside, I feel guilty for locking her in her crate all day. I need a hug.

---

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/09/2018:
Hope you are spraying yourself too! Stay cool!

happy-1 on 07/09/2018:
Yeah I just keep hopping in the shower to wash off ants anyway. Dropped to 84.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/09/2018:
i haven't been managing hunger well either the past couple days at work...but i know why - too much stress doing something new that requires slightly more physical work...so body is craving carbs and energy. especially Monday after the weekend...i'm glad i felt better AFTER lunch! Leading up to lunch was BAAAAAD. felt like DEATH!

happy-1 on 07/10/2018:
Just don't have a hamster snack ;)

happy-1 on 07/10/2018:
Sometimes I mock chew on my dog... she never seems remotely worried. I dunno a hamster would feel the same way :)



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 08, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Home again. I think this was my most successful dog sitting in terms of not being up till all hours cleaning, wearing myself out, and eating ok... except for portion size. But I can continue to improve and work on that.

Finished watching Big Ward... sad. I felt like I found a bunch of people saying "me too"... and now they are gone. No season 2 available. Although I don't think I would pick weightloss surgery. People have to lose 8+ kilos to do it... and I don't really get why they pick extreme surgery instead of just continuing to grit it out. But then again I'm strugling to break my new plateau each time I lose a half a pound every couple of months or so. The idea of losing 2lbs a week... so tempting. But it also seems like it would be hard to do a thruhike of the Adirondacks on a stomach the size of a ballpoint pen. The New Zealanders aren't squeamish about showing the gory details either... with 59.3lbs to my goal weight left I don't think it would speed things up enough to balance out the effort and constant maintenance these folks go through. UDG is in a pre-op program though... and this show made it easier for me to start to understand why he is pursuing that. My ex in San Diego had it done about a decade ago. It helps me start to understand better how he got onto that path.

Sending parents out to eat. There's too much cleanup to do here (parents made a huge mess while I was gone) and my neck is killing me from driving my car. I am glad I waited to plant new stuff till after this weekend. All my herbs in my window died from the heat wave.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!


happy-1 - Saturday Jul 07, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Extra post for today... but I have had a couple of days to myself and have mostly spent it laying down in a cool pleasant quiet room with peaceful happy pups for company. It's about as close to heaven as that gets. I look forward to being healthier and having more exciting weekends away... but for right now I'm just happy about that... and also the inches list frim my ribs, waist and hips because they represent actual movement towards health... they are on the measurements for insulin resistant belly fat... and that is scary stuff. So I am very happy to be headed home tomorrow with these couple of days as a reward for that victory and a day of on-track eating in the bag, and to conquer looking for a job.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
Carrying over from your earlier entry... I truly do dislike these beastly hot days. I was commenting to a co-worker on Friday that if the summer weather could be like this, temperate, 70s to low 80s, I'd be quite happy. She said that it's like this year round in San Diego. Well.... I'm afraid that it's probably not like this any more in San Diego from what I can tell on the national weather maps in the morning, but I do agree that it used to be like that for many areas in California.

(IDK maybe I'm wrong about that. WTH do I know about California?)

I'm glad that you posted again yesterday. What a testament to gratitude of the immediate moment. You are doing well for yourself. I hope to remain/become one of your biggest cheerleaders!

happy-1 on 07/08/2018:
Thank you! I need the cheerleading! It helps me find the right path.


bearcountrygg on 07/08/2018:
You are doing great...….quiet peacefulness promotes internal thinking....it's easier to understand ourselves when we have time to contemplate our lives......we know what we need...we can give that to ourselves...it's a great gift....selfcare...….


Maria7 on 07/08/2018:
Congrats on your progress.



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