Had a fun time this morning with OKC Prince Charming. I'll take bets on whether or not I hear from him again... I liked him a lot but I'm not sure he was into me. I think he enjoyed our conversation, is looking for someone like me (independent, age-appropriate, no kids, similar interests) but in a hotter (skinnier, bigger boobs, "higher maintenance" with the makeup and hair, more of a reformed dress-over-the-head party girl) to go with his rock and roll lifestyle. He showed up on a fancy Harley Davidson motorcycle with all the bling and tattoos to boot. His profile showed him mostly outdoors and with his dogs... laid back CA guy. I didn't expect him to be quite so status-conscious... He pays more attention to people, brands, styles and trends than I do. Still, he does massively go against type in some respects. We talked about future adventures, favorite trails, destinations, cooking, gardening, music, favorite shows on Netflix (more in common than I would have thought), astronomy... We even had the same coffee order. Regular, iced, with half and half. Honestly, even if he doesn't want to date me I'd still want to hang out.  He seemed to appreciate the brownies I brought.

And I thought I looked fantastic in my beach outfit. I have to get a photo of my dress. It is better than the one I posted... More tailoring and more flattering. I thought I had found a photo of it online but mine is much better. If I had to exist as a ghost wearing the same thing every day, this is the outfit I'd want to be wearing... Cold wouldn't bug me, right?

Next packing challenge is to get ready for dog-sitting weekend after next. One bag! I can do it.

Tomorrow I want to conquer adulting tasks and show up for church at 5pm. Grr. Get after it.

225.9... Have to start tracking calories again. Asked Conometer if I can get a beta account to use their time stamping feature pre-release. So frustrating.

Found perfect location for the K9 meetup to do dog walks and beers 2x a month... a brewery taproom tucked away in an industrial area behind a grocery store and across from a park gate that eventually outputs to a neighborhood. We can meet across the street at the gate to the park, walk and socialize our dogs, then go back across the street for beers. We can bring a snack or order pizza since they don't serve dinner. If your dog isn't quite housebroken yet, you can bring a camp chair and sit outside, but no beers outside. Lots of parking. Mellow atmosphere. Good people.

Found this place while surveying spots with my camping friend and her dogs... which meant a super long walk... almost 20,000 steps. When I got home last night I was starving and really dug into the paleo granola after dinner. I was so hungry! My ancient dog held up for the walk but was out like a light on my bed as soon as we hit the door. I watched Netflix till my outdoor timer flipped it off. I passed out too. At some point my dog bailed on me to sleep by my dad. She's spending most of her time with him now. This defies logic because he doesn't feed her, walk her, buy her expensive CBD oil treats, take her places, let her sleep in his bed, etc. He mstly steps on her and yells at her and tells me to lock her in the bathroom.

While cleaning up yesterday I found a slightly too tight but otherwise serviceable straw hat WITH a lariat to keep it on in wind! My mom must have bought it because it is a medium (SHE did not get the giant feet, head, hands and height of our Norwegian ancestors), cheap, not packable, itchy, smells funny, and is hideous. And according to Ebay... still available for purchase if you would like a sensory nightmare of your very own. However... It does keep the sun off! For free! Just in time to go to the beach tomorrow. I feel like Cinderella... Why yes you CAN go to the ball! Bippity boppity boo!

Prince Charming is  a dude off JustOKcupid. 47, on the opposite side of town. Has 2 4x4 vehicles but does not go offroading (thbbbbbbt). No kids, 2 dogs (labs). Also an LA native, same height as me. We're meeting up at a bar by the beach about 9am. So far he is keeping it friendly but polite and I am massively looking forward to it.

Fresh start to a new day. 

Yesterday I made some questionable food choices. Probably because I am a little discouraged... an extra couple of 100 cal frozen fudge bars, one of my dad's diet rootbeers with aspertame, too much seasoning in the turkey burgers, a bun with my burger, and a single serve pack of cakes I bought for my dad but he didn't want. I guess I need to find something new to give me hope. As the fortune cookie I got last week said... He who has hope has everything.

Trying to find a balance in tasks to decrease "overwhelm" and improve focus and attention. The OT had me structure my day into "zones" of type of work I should be doing based on wakeup time, food, meds, exercise, and environmental conditions... But I can't seem to get up and eat the frog because all I do is stare at the mess and piles of paper in the living room. So today I decided eating the frog was sorting out the boxes of paper. I sorted one. If I sort one a morning for a week, I can be through it all and ready to pull out more boxes.

Meeting up with my friend from camping to scope out a farmers market and some dog-friendly breweries today. Here is my outfit... gotta pack a backpack to carry my dog's water bowl and other items. I am still not 100% on the hat. I love the one from H and M, but it is not packable. The one from Columbia is kind of ugly but packable and already has holes for a lariat to keep it on your head. Everything else I already have... even if it is getting too big!

In a parallel universe today. My dad has been nice to me for several days and gave me $60 towards dinners and gas for the month. Apparently having dinner on the table every night at 7 is doing him some good too. He is less cranky and sleeping more consistently.

My mom is down to 209 from 223 and in a major depression over going on insulin. She says it is her tummy and it is in too bad shape to go out because it's too sensitive. I hope that is what it is. She's trying to give up fake sugar like I did... but it's hard. She's stockpiled lots of treats with aspartame in them.

Season 10 of Heartland is on Netflix! They jumped the shark with Season 9 and the little orphan girl Georgie. I hope they bounce back.

Returning the boots today. So bummed. So much money for shoes that can't be repaired.

Have been a little discouraged last couple of days, despite having lost 2.8 lbs. Just a general malaise. A little lonely without my ex, UDG, or Molly to talk to.

 Up and productive even though I woke up late at 8am. I actually got things done yesterday... Like 4. I am shocked.

Trying to decipher the mechanic's notes about repairs for my car... I can't actually match "fuel system" to any services online. I guess I have to go back in and ask them. UGH!!!! At least it will be a chance to get more dark chocolate from Ikea. I am out of chocolate... This is a terrible state to be in.

I did have the shocker today that a beach dress I purchased as a goal dress 3 years ago fits... almost well enough to wear out and about. I can't believe it. I thought at least another 20lbs. Makbe 4 or 5 more pounds till I can wear it like a normal tunic... right now it needs to go woth shorts or something on the bottom.

This is what I could have packed for the weekend to go down to my ex's. If I didn't want to bring a laptop and a hair dryer, this could have fit in 1 bag. Items in my H&M order that need to show up are the white tank top and straw hat... although I am kind of thinking twice about the hat.

I might do better with  this packable straw hat from Columbia.

What is slightly frustrating is that the floral shorts and the khakis are getting too big. The shorts are a 1x and hard to take in without screwing up the flowiness. The khakis are stretch and I'd have to buy a different sewing machine to do the right kind of seam for any durability, plus the pocets would be too small to put anything in. UGH!!! Black belt will fit for another couple of months, but once I hit a size 12 I will need new belts. PHOOEY.

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Looked at Noom today to do instead of Rise.. but they ask you creepy questions like "Have you been on antibiotics in the last 2 years." Too personal.

Restarting day. Overslept till 7 and took adhd meds late so my brain feels like a tub of pudding. Restarting and replanning...

Decided to make inquiries at church to see if there is anyone who works security and might accompany me for a few hours. Get unstuck. I have tons of empty file folders and need to get at them and buying them again is as much as paying someone to accompany me.

Weirdly the thing that is motivating me to be healthy today is a really big lady made an odd comment to me and I realized that I have been resting on my 95lb accomplishment and ignoring the 55lbs of "work" left to do to get to healthy and slacking on food and exercise because I feel so much better and just figure if I keep working on my habits everything will fall into place... but I've kind of let all my habits slide to match my parents again and I need to stop mucking around and rededicate myself to prioritizing health and sleep. Basically there is a lady who has some kind of disability and she's really huge. She liked my top and I said I got it at H and M. She said "Oh they have our size there?" I kind of paused for a moment thinking we're not the same size... I'm only a Lg/14... but then realized she was only making the distinction between tiny/fit and tall/overweight. I said yes online. I also felt small and mean for thinking that at all... but I am glad to snap back to reality however it happened.

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Frustrated because the boots I splurged on finally came! And they fit! And they cheaped out on the large size special run for Nordstroms so even though it is a workboot line, these are no better made than Payless. The leather is good, the sole and the zippers are awesome... but they used cardboard for the heel cups rather than leather and that means you can't get the heel cups replaced... in waterproof leather boots that have a stretch gusset and are sure to get wet inside eventually. So mad!!!

Ate a lot of junk food today and yesterday... laid around like a lazy loaf. Sloth and gluttony. So much to do but I always fall apart if I sleep late and I somehow slept 11 hours.

Replanning and refocusing... I took my dad to Ralphs and I feel like I got hit by a truck. Plus it took so long.. 3 hours. There's something awful about that store... from the handheld scanners to the too many options for the same basic items... to all the noise and the weird absence of any smells other than industrial cleanser... it's more like a casino than a food store. I actually didn't buy anything because it was too overwhelming.

Still have to buy food this week, ugh.

Have ruined one pound loss with brownies and too much frozen yogurt. Partially due to hunger, partially due to sadness because Molly doesn't want to hang out this weekend to go to her aunt's pool party and maybe do some other stuff. Kind of bummed because it would have been good to do a girl's night out, but also because I think she thinks I'd be a drag. Oh well. Friends grow apart... and my ex invited me down to SD for a visit. Better than sitting here mooning over Molly thinking I'm a drag.

Had first doggie brewery social yesterday. One lady showed. One guy at the brewery said he'd be interested in socializing his new rescue dog. I'm thinking thursday night pack walk and brewery after is a better plan than just sitting at a brewery.

OT today and I haven't done the assignment. Gotta get crunching on that... and maybe redye my hair. I tried a new shade to match my roots but think it lurned out too orange. I have a bottle a shade to the darker side that might look less fake to dye over it. I can't tell. It looked ok at HM last night... although my clothes didn't. I was wearing XL top and a 1x bottom and they were super baggy and shapeless. Not cute at all. A size 14 dress and a medium tank looked just fine though. So frustrating! At least I picked up the blue beach coverup and a wide brim straw hat. I need to try everything on that I packed for the weekend... I can't take for granted that the stuff I packed will actually fit me. I should also take measurements again... I might have lost inches and need a new bra. I wish I could lose the fat in my under eyebags!!!

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Scratch going down to SD to see my ex. WTF was I thinking? I have a ton of car maintenance to do and a trip to SD to see a dude who didn't send me a Valentine's day card until MARCH is def not on my priority list.

Dad helped me remember to take my sleep meds at 8pm last night and I was up on time at 5 this morning!!!! YAY ME! 

ALSO>>> Weight loss! About a lb. 221.4... At this rate nothing will fit me and I'll have to go running around nekked. At least my dog's fur won't stick.

I may have lost my mind last night, but I ordered a little too much off H and M. I think they updated their site inventory afeter I made my purchase because things I had favorited that weren't in my size when I made my first purchase were suddenly available... AUGH. I ended up with a second order of things I liked better, so I am probably stuck actually going in to make a return. at least returns are free. It will just suck for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, after careful analysis, I think what I needed to add was an oversize blouse/dress that can be a coverup for the beach (with cotton and some softness for sunburn), tucked into pants as a shirt, or worn over leggings as a top. Also, wide cut jersey pants and a couple of tops to tie other items together. I also need a hat, but I want better quality than what is available at H and M. I had a couple of other items too, but they are extras/nice to haves and may go back to the store. I will be on the lookout for a two-piece dress with at least some cap sleeves in a nice print... I can definitely see how that would cut down on the number of pieces I need to stick in a bag for travel. I am 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other on the pants. I think some Columbia trail pants in black would be more practical but my hope is that these are thin enough to be pajama pants but stil double as a spare pair of pants when traveling. I also bought a pair of bboots on Nordstrom Rack because I think they may be a good quality brand and it will be impossible to find a pair of waterproof black boots after August in size 13 (thanks Norwegian ancestors for my GIANT FEET)... I will take them to my shoe repair guy before I wear them and ask him if they are well-made enough to be worth repairing. I am done with shoes that are to cheap to repair. That's no way to prepare for a zombie apocalypse!

(and I had no idea I could just paste in images to DD!!!!! I thought I'd have to post them somewhere then link them over... Doh!)

Goal for today is to 1) get my dog more CBD treats, 2) apply to 5 jobs, 3) send the meetup announcement for happy hour on Thursday to get into people's inboxes after they check email and be at the top for lunch, 4) go to H and M and see if I can find the blue dress now because it would definitely make it easier to pack for Molly's this weekend. My ex in SD wants me to come down saturday night... I am 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other about that too. It would be nice to get away but A) sent a valentines day card in march and I don't feel special, B) he's een working overnights and I just got back onto my sleep pattern today.