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happy-1 - Saturday Aug 24, 2019
(Make the healthiest choice possible at every turn)
Weight: 216.3

So... weird checkin for today. I went off the rails and binge ate last night.

The trigger was minor... Dad saying he's not really being affected by grief or bereavement... totally off target. Being "numb" and not feeling anything is still being affected by grief and part of bereavement... but it was him being totally off target that threw me off. Even though I was ready to go to beds and had already taken meds, I ended up staying up till like 2 or 3 overeating and watching "The Boys" on Amazon (so good)... Eventually I just fell asleep.

100+lbs ago, this would have been whatever I had in the house, a pizza and wings, and a gallon of ice cream. I'd have felt like hell in the morning and been sick for days, possiby kept binging for another couple of days because I felt really bad about myself. My blood sugar would have skyrocketed and I wouldn't have moved or gone for a walk in forever. I'd have sat around crying and beating myself up for wrecking myself again.

But I've been working with the nutritionist to eliminate bad foods and make home a "safer" place for me to be... so the emotional binge eating I did last night wasn't actually all that bad. All in all I had 2 slices of white bread, an ice cream sandwich, a bag of popcorn, 4 rx bars, grapes, and raw almonds. 

Overslept this morning, blood sugar is more or less ok, and I watched "Good Omens" until I felt better. Gave the pets some treats, took a shower and washed dishes. Did my hair. Might see a movie later. 

Dental surgery area is a little worse for the popcorn and almonds, but ok. Giving it an extra day before I go back to yoga... so tomorrow. I ordered a lunch bag at a place next to it for pickup to give myself a kick in the butt to go.

Onwards and upwards.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/24/2019:
IT happens to most if not all of us.....but like you say....the choices weren't all that bad. Looks like you have good plans for today!

happy-1 on 08/24/2019:
A little thwarted. Can't find my phone, keys, or wallet. I have trackers for all of them and they aren't working. One step at time.

happy-1 on 08/24/2019:
Found them!

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2019:
Glad you found them Happy

Donkey on 08/25/2019:
Not so bad of a binge if it was healthy foods. I think you're being too hard on yourself, this time.

happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
Not being hard on myself, more marveling at how far I have come. I used to really go off the rails... That's how I ended up 170lbs overweight and desperately unhappy. That it wasn't that bad is a major success.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2019:
those rx bars can do a number on your teeth too as they are quite hard !!!! just kidding, i'm glad you are OK.

happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
Especially since I freeze them to make them extra tough so I can gnaw on them like a bone.

happy-1 - Friday Aug 23, 2019
(Make the healthiest choice possible at every turn)
Weight: 216.3

One foot in front of the other. At the movies today. Seeing Peanut Butter Falcon for some downtime... from not doing much of anything. At least it feels that way. I woke up at 6am to a custom kitty good morning, cleaned the house and did laundry before it got hot, went and got breakfast and did my OT homework plus read a chapter in my “Take Back Your Life” book while dad had an in home visit from the bereavement counselor so he could have some privacy, then hit the post office and the grocery store, brought groceries home, finished laundry and made dad’s bed, picked up the patio, checked the bereavement counselor notes, and sorted out the mail. So a fair amount of stuff even though it wasn’t actually “work”. And it is 12:30 so I am entitled to take a lunch break. Just an RX bar from my bag. This theater doesn’t have salads.

So after this, Starbucks for one of their salads and wifi... Goal is to figure out which classes I will try to crash at the community college tomorrow, finish all my unread mail, setup my calendar for september, and cross one thing off my “critical to do list”.

Tomorrow, I get back to yoga and cardio.


After watching the movie I suddenly felt like I needed to take my dad to the grocery store. I guess it was spiritually uplifting and I felt like being a better human being. Or something.

Called dad, he was down for going to the grocery store, but by the time I got home he was in bed sleeping with the blankets on in 90 degree weather.


Did at least figure out what classes to crash. There is only one I can try to add by crashing. Everything else I would want to take is distance education only.


Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/23/2019:
That movie looks so good to me too....hope you enjoyed it.

happy-1 on 08/23/2019:
I did!!!! It was a great modern fairytale.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/23/2019:
very productive day for you !!!! you accomplished so much!

i hope your dad is ok! and i hope you made sure!

happy-1 on 08/23/2019:
Hugs. Working on it.

grannyannie on 08/24/2019:
Very busy and productive day!

happy-1 on 08/24/2019:
One foot in front of the other with faith and vision. Never falter, never fail.

Donkey on 08/24/2019:
It's the little daily chores, e.g. sorting through the mail, that add up. I'm glad you got out to see a movie. I looked it up - it looks good!

Will you return to yoga today?

Keep on doing what you're doing. It may be difficult but every step forward is in the right direction.

happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
Yeah, and not doing them add up too.

happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
I will return to some kind of workout today. There's only 1 yoga class at my gym and it is at 9 and I need to do storage before it gets too hot. Might just be cardio and a shower :-) I feel overwhelmed by how disorganized my car is. I've been chucking stuff in there and half of it needs to be put in my gym bag in a neat fashion.

happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
Some days I take more steps but at least 1 step a day is all I need to do. Yesterday I cleaned off the dining room table.

happy-1 - Thursday Aug 22, 2019
(Make the healthiest choice possible at every turn)
Weight: 216.3

Up at 5am. I set a series of Alexa reminders for what I need to do inthe morning while I was mad at myself last night and woke up to hearing “Get your ass up and walk the pets” among other things. I’ll change the words in the reminders to be a little less verbally abusive, but loud verbal prompts really helped me get up at 5, take meds and sugar, walk the cog, take a shower and leave the house for a cup of coffee. I write this from my favorite breakfast spot where I ordered a super veggie omelette and swapped the hashbrowns for black beans, drank two glasses of water, and saved coffee for after my meal. I get 2 cups and 8 creamers but from now on I will bring some Lairds Superfood Creamer so I can have a healthier option. Those little cups of half and half have a lot of cholesterol and trans fats.

May this meal make me healthier and better able to take care of my dad.

——— Cat lovers only below this line

Major milestone walking the cat this morning. He volunteered for his harness this morning... and when my dog pooped, he pooped. He’s peed on his walks, but this was the first time pooping. I took this as a sign of him generally being more comfortable. Also, he did not pee his kitty sling. He actually looked like he enjoyed the exercise later at home... super extra communicative and chill.



Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 08/22/2019:
We just do the boring alarm on Alexa although husband once set it to tell me to get my ass out of bed.

Nice breakfast!

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
Lol. I’m going to make it nudge me awake through each step of my morning as soon as I get a third one so I can put it in the bathroom and wale my dad up when he’s asleep in the bathroom

innerpeace on 08/22/2019:
Walking a cat...amazing. I've only seen it done in the movies.

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
I started it like the day I got him home... just presented it matter of fact... if you want out of the crate, you are on a leash. Then I added a short walk... then I made the walks longer incrementally and added the kitty purse... then I added you are free range at home and we all go for walks together... then I added going to starbucks... etc

Horn_of_plenty on 08/22/2019:
i am always amazed how many calories are in a tablespoon of heavy cream... i think it's 30! so much for so little! and i can have a whole cup of almond milk! but, it's a special flavor...sometimes we need the fat, but you are right of course about the type of fat etc...of course.

so glad to hear your cat is getting broken in!

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
He’s a good little guy! We’re figuring each other out! I crave the fat of half n half and the Lairds creamer is a great option

Donkey on 08/23/2019:
I had to LOL at you setting up Alexa to be verbally abusive. There's a book or movie in that somewhere.

I should get an Alexa so that I can nag my husband all day while I'm at work - ha ha ha. (Or I could stay married...)

That is SO COOL about your cat!!! Friends that poop together, stay together. (um...)

happy-1 on 08/25/2019:
I think the reminders were better with the verbal abuse. I didn't get out of the house to walk the cog or go to yoga with the kinder, gentler version.

happy-1 - Wednesday Aug 21, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

Weight: Upswing to 226.3, but not stressing about it. Fasting blood sugar may have been high because of dental surgery yesterday and also I waited to check till I’d already been up a few hours and walked the cog (cat and dog), which can spike my sugar. Still, 1 foot in front of the other. I am super proud of myself for jumping out of bed and going for a walk like a productive adult... and for then going straight to the shower and then out to breakfast. I didn’t get sucked into what I used to call “The Circus”. Is it still a circus if it’s one crazy old dad and not both of your crazy old parents? Part of me feels terrible about not sticking around and making him breakfast and showing him love. The rest of me is grateful to be out and getting some daylight.... a healthy breakfast of chicken, beans, broccoli, guac, and corn tortillas... A cup of coffee while I read a book I bought at CVS yesterday called “Take Your Life Back” It is actually pretty good... It hooked me with a discussion of the older brother of the prodigal son who stayed home and did service to his father and then was angry he didn’t have the life he wanted. Food for thought.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 08/21/2019:
Sounding positive today!

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
We can’t control what comes our way, but we can control our attitude.

BearCountryGG on 08/21/2019:
The book sounds interesting...and I understand it completely....been there and done that too. I had to keep a distance at times myself....it wast taking it's toll on my mental health....I'm glad you found some alone time.

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
Yeah. Today I read in it that seeking a different location to do acts of self care (paying bills, taking a bath, etc) is partially about privacy but also getting to “safety” so you can relax and not be always vigilant

legcramps on 08/21/2019:
Hope your dental surgery went well! That book sounds very interesting and sounds like it might be something you needed to read :) hugs.

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
It did! Now I just have to heal up.

Sometimes a piece of the puzzle just pops up.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/22/2019:
Great job being productive and getting yourself up and out of the house. proud of you again!

i don't know many people who walk their cats! you are an exception!

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
He’s just such a great little buddy. He’ll also ride shotgun or sit on my shoulder like a parrot while I do dishes.

Donkey on 08/22/2019:
That is very thought-inducing about the feelings of resentment from the Prodigal Son. In the Bible, he WAS resentful. I can see that bitterness completely taking over someone's life. This is exactly why I pushed my son to start doing something with his life. It's hard to take that first step, but his life can't be about our life (and especially Mr. Donkey, who has so many needs/limitations).

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
Hugs. I’ll post as I read it but I basically highlighted almost every page this morning... totally seeing myself in how they describe the older brother... he is reactive but “reacts in” and denies himself joy, connection, and comfort... then takes pride in his asceticism. They go through and show you how to untangle the knot of being the elder brother

happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 20, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

No weigh in today, I had dental surgery. I found the whole thing phenomenally stressful. The human body is terrifing... It shouldn’t be so easy to pop out a tooth and do things to a jaw. You think your body is solid and firm and then you get a reminder of how fragile it really is. And the office staff was like oh this is no big deal... Aaaack! I get from their perspective it isn’t... but my tooth, my jaw, my body, my life... Eek. 

Soft foods only, no cardio or inversions till monday. My goal for tonight is just to not overeat and get out to walk the pets. Monday I start living at the gym and doing all the yoga I can do on my all access pass. Beyond that... I don’t know. Just trying to put one brick in place at a time. I feel like my first brick is now in place.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
Hope you are feeling better soon.

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
Thank you! No pain, no gain!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/21/2019:
feel better - at least you had the dental surgery bc it was needed to protect your health <3

have a nice walk tonight with the pets!

happy-1 on 08/21/2019:
TY! It was a struggle to make it happen out of scale with the effort involved. Dad makes too big a deal over it, and then kept forgetting I am super out of it from the giant abscess. It was drama but I conquered.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/21/2019:
lol, i just know that black is the "favorite" watch color ;) hahaha...did you find it yet??

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
No. It’s disappeared. Maybe a Borrower is getting fit.

grannyannie on 08/21/2019:
Hope you feel better.

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
TY!!! I already feel tons better...

Donkey on 08/21/2019:
Healing thoughts going your way!!! Best to focus on healing now, perhaps.

I'm glad to hear that you are feeling like you've completed a brick. That's a good feeling. (I hope you can feel it, too.) Now on to the next brick, when you're ready.

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
Yeah, the question is what is the next brick? What do I focus on next to dig myself out? Spending today catching up on mail. Maybe the next thing will appear... or at least I will have opened my mail.

innerpeace on 08/21/2019:
And don't suck out of a straw!! Not only is the human body fragile, it is disgusting as well. I hope you feel better soon.

happy-1 on 08/22/2019:
Lol. Everything on the planet is pretty much disgusting on some level if you look hard enough. Try to ignore those parts.

happy-1 - Monday Aug 19, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

223.6... not massive progress but moving in the right direction. Which pretty much sums up everything in my life right now.

Cleaning out the pantry and made cowboy cookies using protein powder, pancake mix, and museli. Result was slightly more edible than cardboard... but incredibly filling... and it’s keeping me out of the ice cream bars and white bread I bought my dad.

Bereavement group discussion material today gutted me like a fish. I turned into a leaky snot factory. Classy.

Hot kickboxing boyfriend said he’d be my emergency contact for dental surgery. Which totally increased his “yum” level. 

Was going to go to a movie at the mall. Phone was dying so I charged it on my car and did random life junk... And did the rookie mistake of letting my battery run down. Real women have their own battery jumper kits... and roadside assistance for when tthey took them out of the car to make space for 120lbs of pine pellets... “What kind of horse do you have?” asked the nice lady at the feed store... “No horse, just a tom cat that pees a lot. See you next week.”

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/20/2019:
I also love creating new foodss without a recipe!!! Your healthy cookies sound good to me!! I often buy foods for D that I am able to designate in my mind...that are just for him.....and it helps me stay away from them....could you find a place in a cupboard for foods that are just for your Dad?...Possibly clear a special place in the freezer for him also? Your boyfriends kind gesture was very thoughtful....definately appreciate his caring....very nice!!!

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
Right? A new treat I never had before that was hot, fresh, and free in my kitchen.

The ice cream sandwiches are a weakness of mine also. I’m going to try to only buy himone at a time if I have to walk to the drugstore everyday and spend $4 to do it.

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
He said yes because I asked him, but it was a leap of faith to ask him. I got all shakey when I asked.

grannyannie on 08/20/2019:
The cookies sound good and so much better than eating ice cream bars!

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
Actually super yummy. I still ate two ice cream bars though

Horn_of_plenty on 08/20/2019:
yes, good job experimenting and having an alternative snack - the cowboy cookies. what made you think of this idea?

little by little is the best way to move, so you sound to be doing well, Happy. keep up the good work <3

also, nobody buys a "neon watch" so you are like most...

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
Hunger! Too many odds and ends of packages left over from trying to help mom fight cancer... Cookie cravings... Not wanting to drive anywhere to buy cookies

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
If nobody ever buys neon watches, Why are the Garmin colors so loud and ugly? https://www.rei.com/product/162720/garmin-forerunner-45s-gps-watch

happy-1 - Sunday Aug 18, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

I have a cat on me so I have not yet weighed in. Can’t disturb a happy cat. I have to say though... A big strong tom cat kneading my cookie gut is a huge motivator toget up off my butt and look for my fitbit and then go to yoga.

If garmin turns out to have a “find my watch” feature I would definitely buy one.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 08/18/2019:
Nope, can't disturb a happy pet!

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
Yeah, now I’ve got a happy dog I can’t disturb so I’m checking comments here. At least the dog doesn’t make me get off my phone.

Maria7 on 08/18/2019:
What color is your cat? I love all cats...we have three...

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
He’s black and white with big yellow eyes. He’s a little beaten up but looks a million times better than when he first got adopted. I picked the oldest, most half-dead cat available at the ASPCA event.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/18/2019:
i hope you find your watch! next, i'm glad you and kitty are getting along so well!

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
No sign of it yet. That’s what I get for buying everything in black because I’m too lazy to figure out a colorful wardrobe or do separate loads of laundry. It’s a black watch buried under black bedsheets and black yoga stuff... Why couldn’t I have bought one thing in neon?

BearCountryGG on 08/18/2019:
I picked the oldest one at our shelter too......I so wish they could tell us their stories!!!

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
Aaaaaaaw. Was it because your mom was on her deathbed and wanted a cat, but you’re not really a cat person so you picked the one that you thought might not last very long only to find out he is in great shape, could go another 10 years, and just needed A LOT of regular meals?

Luckily he’s an awesome cat.

BearCountryGG on 08/19/2019:
Happy..........I just so missed having a house pet........but your scenario makes a lot of sense......I think we just needed furry little snugglers....and I'm sure that your kitty comforted your Mom when she needed it the most.....and yes...they definately inhale a lot of food for their size....and after 4 months with this little guy...I stepped on my first wet hairball.....yuck...it's been a lot of years since that happened....LOL

happy-1 on 08/19/2019:
He eats like 5x as much as my dog!!!

happy-1 - Saturday Aug 17, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

Ok. Starting over.

Fell off track yesterday and today. Didn’t make dinner so I ended up eating ice cream and bread... like most of a gallon and 3 huge rolls. Never mind that I’v spent the week putting up single serving dinners in advance of dental surgery... Could have had those just got... tired. Lonely.

I feel a ton better after talking to friends yesterday and today, just to say hi. I watched a match with my dad for my 30 min companion time assignment. 

Trying to focus on fitness between now and Sept 15.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 08/17/2019:
What an achievement with your weight-loss. You are very smart to simply decide to start over. With all you have been going through, you deserved the ice cream and bread and happy that you enjoyed it. I know your Dad enjoyed spending time with you with Y'all watching the match together. That was sweet.

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
Yeah, 8 months of “everything is lava and I’m on fire” but I only gained 6lbs total. Now I can work on those and the remaining 60... I can do it.

Donkey on 08/17/2019:
I agree 100% with what Maria said (((hugs)))

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:

BearCountryGG on 08/17/2019:
Sometimes you just need to eat what you want...and it usually passes...glad you had some time with your dad...i'm sure he enjoyed that too.

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
trying to improve our relationship and communication

grannyannie on 08/18/2019:
Agree that sometimes you just have to give in. But then start over.

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
I need better cheats... like a night out with a fancy dinner, not a bunch of rolls and ice cream. The things I fall off the horse for aren’t even that good.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/18/2019:
when i visited my friend in florida, she had Alexa in her home. it was amazing for her to use. you can do anything, ask anything! i used it also as a timer for boiling eggs :) she asked it to play music, questions, weather...just awesome!

i had a similar eating situation as you last night. i was very tired and wanted to relax....and all i could do was eat...i ended up taking a sleeping pill to fall asleep and stop the cycle of the night which was leading to eating just for the point of relaxing rather than hunger...also i see you reached for sugary food, maybe you were feeling down and the sugary foods are a common thing we reach for.

happy-1 on 08/18/2019:
Yeah, plus I’m taking gabapentin as a short-term med for nerve pain when I lay down... and I think it’s making me eat at night. I need to get to yoga and strengthen my neck and core and get off it.

happy-1 - Wednesday Aug 14, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

More bad eating, but got back on track at 2nd breakfast.

High anxiety day.  Stayed on course though... Just went home, told my dad I was stressed and needed some time to myself. Set a timer for 30 min. Cleaned my room and set up my desk for success. Still felt stressed, so I set another timer. Now I am logging here and updating my to do list.

And hot kickboxing boyfriend sent me a pic of his butt... tastefully done with clothes on. So framing that.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 08/15/2019:
Cute - butt pic!

happy-1 on 08/17/2019:
It was

Donkey on 08/15/2019:
Anxiety sucks. I like the timer idea. I'm going to try that.

One of my FB friends shared a meme that says, "Your anxiety is lying to you."

Lol on the butt picture! I can appreciate that (grin)...

happy-1 on 08/17/2019:
I’m really liking Alexa. I like flopping over in a mess and saying “Alexa set a timer for 30 min.”

legcramps on 08/15/2019:
I'm glad you carved some time out for yourself. You know you didn't need to do anything with that time, right? Literally you can just stare at a wall for 30 minutes if that's what will calm you down and get you through the rest of the day :)

Hugs. Love the butt pic!

happy-1 on 08/17/2019:
If you say it is ok to lay there and do nothing for 30 min, that sounds great. I can only pull that off at a motel. Everywhere I look I see something I need to do. I stared at a wall this morning and ended up washing it.

BearCountryGG on 08/15/2019:
WE all need time to ourselves sometimes...especially when we are caregivers. I'm sure that when your Dad was raising you...he had his alone time.

happy-1 on 08/17/2019:
He spends most of his time alone. He’s an odd bird.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/15/2019:
i love a nice booty photo when it's clothed. that's nice. ;)

also, good job staying on track and pacing yourself.

happy-1 on 08/17/2019:
So rarely does a guy send a “good taste” anatomy pic... even more rarely one worth framing... Like 3x5 size on a vanity, behind the perfume bottles position for sure... not over the couch... but still worth framing.

happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 13, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

One foot in front of the other. Made it to yoga on Sunday. Tonight I get off from parent care and will pay bills and sort out receipts. I'm so overwhelmed by the house it is too mentally parallyzing to really accomplish anything cognitive. I can do household chores, surf the web, straighten out my calendar, but anything that requires focus... I need to be out of the house.
Having a lot of problems with late night eating. Last night I ate 2 cupcakes, 10 corn tortillas, shredded cheese. Partially because dad ate lunch late and so he wasn't hungry so I didn't make dinner... And ended up eating junk instead. I need more ready-to-eat healthy meals packed for myself.
Feel like I am waking up from a haze and everything is a mess. Starting with putting myself back together. Getting a haircut this weekend... Finally happy with my hair color. Bought a couple of clothing items to be presentable in for summer heat... I still need to lose 50lbs so I don't want to buy a lot. Nothing major, just so that I can go to bereavement groups and church stuff in hot weather without looking like a hot mess. A lipstick, 1 casual tank, 1 dressup tank, 1 skirt, 1 cardigan, 1 belt. Debating a dress, but I think it is covered with the skirt.I feel like I already bought too much with the 3 pairs of workout capris and 5 sports bra tanks I bought to be presentable while doing hospice chores for my mom when the home health folks came over.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 08/13/2019:
Good you went to yoga.

My biggest challenge is avoiding snacking at night, especially watching tv.

happy-1 on 08/13/2019:
I get too hungry at night to sleep

Donkey on 08/13/2019:
Oh I meant to comment on your last entry about signing up at the la-dee-dah gym for yoga classes. Isn't it NICE to be at a swanky gym? Nothing wrong with the bare basics, but it's just very nice to get pampered - even it's just by the atmosphere alone.

Oh late night eating is so hard! That is how I gained the weight 2nd-to-last time. I'm not sure I have a solution. I still struggle with it daily - yes, DAILY. (Or should I say, "nightly"?)

On the other hand, I did it because at that time, it was the only thing that would help me feel momentarily better about anything. I was truly despondent during this time, and if I wasn't sleeping or wanting to jump in front of a moving train, to find some solace in late night food while watching comforting TV shows -- well, better to do that than drive myself to the train station.

happy-1 on 08/19/2019:
I’m there with you on both. Trying to redefine emotional eating as the healthiest thing on the menu even if it is more expensive. Then I see oreos for $1

Maria7 on 08/14/2019:
Good that you are taking care of yourself, getting some nice clothes, etc. One foot in front of the other...Take care.

happy-1 on 08/19/2019:
Hugs. Get up. Dress up. Show up. Never give up.

Donkey on 08/14/2019:
^^^Maria is right! Take care of yourself in a healthy way.

happy-1 on 08/19/2019:
Mirror mirror on the wall, I’ll always get up after I fall. Whether I run, walk, or have to crawl, I’ll set my goals and achieve them all.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/14/2019:
like you, i focus wayyyy better working OUT of my house. totally understand! (except i do exercise now at home - but it's interrupted with chores and other household tasks which is how i prefer it, actually!)....but other stuff, i do better in public places - especially studying.

you have a lot of emotions going on and it sounds like you are doing pretty darn well despite it all. keep your head up, smile, and know you are capable always. keep on happy. we are rooting for you!

happy-1 on 08/20/2019:
who doesn’t have a lot of emotions going on? nobody I know :)

Hugs, ty for rooting for me. I’ rooting for you too.

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