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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Wednesday Mar 27, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

One foot in front of the other. My self care action for tonight was to give up on my mom and making sure she was good for the night and just go to bed on time at 9pm. She was being rude and difficult so I just walked away, got her a nightgown and some sheets, threw them on the bed, and told her to check her own blood sugar, temperature, drink the gatorade, put her own sheets on the bed and good luck I'm going to bed. 9:10 now. In bed with earplugs, lights out, dog walked and fed.

Plan for tomorrow:

  • Be up and out by 7AM for 8AM yoga class
  • Survive a challenging yoga class and shower there.
  • Find a really good breakfast somewhere.
  • Drive to shrink visit. 
  • Go to Ralphs for my dad. Whatever he wants I guess.
  • Drop food off at home.
  • Drive to Cancer Support Center. Take my time there before I go to the support group meeting.

Doing another calendar micromanagement session... Hopefully it sets up a routine for a home health worker to follow. Debating getting Alexa in every room of the house... Bug all of us to stay on task.

My super hot kickboxing hunky boyfriend sent me this... I said I feel the same way about getting him in another jacuzzi suite with mirrors on the ceiling.

And it was also a little weird because I definitely don't feel beautiful right now. I'm running myself ragged chasing after my parents health appointments. Wiped. 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 03/27/2019:
Yep, sometimes you have to save yourself and walk away. Glad to hear you're getting some emotional support.

happy-1 on 03/29/2019:
Well, at least try to find a balance.

I'm super lucky to have him. He's great.


horn_of_plenty on 03/27/2019:
i guess your guy also likes sweets...take the compliment! so nice of him to think of you and send you something thoughtful!

i'm really sorry to hear of the cancer / congestive heart failure. those are really big issues. sending you warm thoughts.

happy-1 on 03/29/2019:
He says he doesn't like sweets... then pounds a powerade, lol.

TY. Hugs. It's a rough deal for sure, but we are trying to pull together as a family.


horn_of_plenty on 03/29/2019:
YUP i agree...Powerade is definitely a sweet / sugary drink!!!!!!!!!!! LIAR!



happy-1 - Monday Mar 25, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

Did best effort again today. Did a better job of keeping my word immaculate. And the other 2 agreements fell in somewhere between the first 2.

Got mom to eat almost a normal amount of food today. It was a lot of work. Also cleaned the kitchen and did a grocery run.

Made it back to yoga sunday morning. Missing it Monday morning. Dad had an anxiety attack at 12am. It's getting to be a routine

225.6 getting super fat again. 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/25/2019:
you can fix the weight gain...go back to what you were doing before which was planning your meals. you can do this.

can dad take a xanax? i'm serious...

i hope everyone feels better.

remember to take care of you first, you are young and have a full life ahead of you.

happy-1 on 03/26/2019:
Hugs! This site was key in helping me get and stay on plan, even if I tracked it elsewhere... One step at a time!


Donkey on 03/26/2019:
My mom gained back quite a bit of weight while my stepfather was in decline.

Try to take care of yourself as best as you can. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Your strength and endurance are amazing to me.

happy-1 on 03/27/2019:
Ty. In some ways everything is suddenly easier because I'm not running around thinking there is something terribly wrong with me... I realize now that I live with crazy people and they got inside my head and didn't call 911 for me when my neck got broken because they actually are crazy.



happy-1 - Sunday Mar 24, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

I did my best today to do what I could for 2 critically ill parents. It’s an impossible situation but I am doing my best. The stress is really getting to me and I am not being my best self. Weirdly, planning to go to CA Adventure with my boyfriend really picked me up. A little hope for a better life when all this is over.

My word was not impeccable... I got really sad when my dad poked a nerve and said dumb stuff.

Hugs to my fellow insomniacs.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/24/2019:
I'm so sorry that you are not in a great situation right now. I hope your parents feel better. It sounds like the situation with your parents has changed a lot and that they are sicker than they used to be. I'm sorry you are struggling now! Try to at least buy / make veggie dishes i guess...try to have some things on hand so you have good choices to choose from when you need something fast.

happy-1 on 03/25/2019:
Actually they have been sick for a while and lying about it. Long story.


Donkey on 03/24/2019:
(((hugs))) I too am very sorry you are going through this difficult time. I can't even imagine how stressful this must be for you at this time. Thinking of you!

happy-1 on 03/27/2019:
Hugs. TY. Got knocked over. Starting to stand up again.



happy-1 - Tuesday Mar 12, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

7:30 pm and dead on my feet. I accomplished most of the major missions and objectives for yesterday and today. I did not do today perfectly, but my effort was perfect. Just need to figure out food for my mom tonight, find the missing box of low-sodium meals I ordered for them, feed my dog, and set myself up for a fresh start tomorrow.

Mom is mad at me for throwing out most of the food in the fridge and cabinets because it was high sodium or processed and nobody in our house can eat that way anymore. But I am pretty happy to finally not be in the middle of temptation anymore.

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/13/2019:
well, good job going "cold turkey" getting rid of all those temptations! i hope you find the meals for your parents!

i'm glad to hear you are getting things done efficiently. it's hard to be perfect and your effort is def a better judge of that! :) nicely done, Happy!!



happy-1 - Tuesday Mar 12, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

4:30am... zero sleep and I have to drive my mom to the doctor today. Thank goodness for Lyft. Just can't sleep because I have so many things to do and so little time... and the workload of two ill parents and a senior dog is a firehose. 

But got a lot of stuff done today. I worked hard. Just miles to go and no sleep.

I love that Archer and Pam hook up and she rocks his world. 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2019:
what happened with your parents, happy?

senior dog!!!

happy-1 on 03/12/2019:
They are a little under the weather and it is going to be a rough ride.

happy-1 on 03/12/2019:
Cancer and congestive heart failure


legcramps on 03/12/2019:
Hope you get some rest soon!

happy-1 on 03/12/2019:
Hugs! Gotta sleep sometime!

A man who gets the reputation of rising at dawn can sleep to noon. - Winston Churchill



happy-1 - Monday Mar 11, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

Self-care night. Parents are stable and both at home resting. They have each other for the buddy system. I took a day off and started tonight with a round of self-care... A shower, brow shaping, hand wash of critical clothes, hot bowl of wor wonton soup, and some old episodes of Archer. I might hold it together. Hot kickboxing instructor says he misses me and looks forward to Disneyland on Friday. With luck we will get to go. Such an awesome guy and he's a total oasis in all of this.

Hugs all. I've missed you. As Cheryl says in Archer S3:12 "The words for crisis and opportunity in Chinese are the same." But mine is not detachable.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/12/2019:
i'm so glad to hear that things are settling down on your end!

Hot Wonton Soup sounds AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! So does Archer!

Let us know if you end up going to Disney! That's always fun! I think i shall go to Disney in Paris!?

Take Care, Happy!



happy-1 - Wednesday Mar 06, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar.)
Weight: 216.3

225.0 this morning. Up 9lbs. How do you get control of your weight during a family crisis?

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 03/07/2019:
HELLO HAPPY! welcome back :)

What is happening ? I am sorry to here things are stressful for you :(

I'd have to say the only way is to set your boundaries. You cannot always be in crisis mode even though it's a crisis.

my mom just had a terrible injury and i am only visiting once a week and on the weekends...not every night. that's my only advice.

My dad has been seeing her constantly, so i am sure he's very streessed out by now since it's already been almost 2 weeks of her in hospital / rehab.

happy-1 on 03/11/2019:
Hugs. Ty for the perspective. You are a good daughter!


Donkey on 03/07/2019:
Glad to hear from you!!! But I'm so sorry it's not under better circumstances. I wish I had an answer for you. I can tell you that eating during a crisis solves NOTHING except to make you feel like CRAP. How do I know this? Done this many, many times...

I hope you are OK. I hope your mom is doing OK; she was having some health issues at last update. Hope your dad is OK, as well...

happy-1 on 03/11/2019:
They are both doing alternate er/hospital stays. It's all pretty intense.



happy-1 - Thursday Feb 07, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar/cholesterol.)
Weight: 216.3

224.2

Drinking from the firehose, but maintaining.  

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/07/2019:
keep on, happy! at least you don't have this cold weather to deal with! i cannot wait for this cold to be over! seems i had to skip my workouts all this work week! :(


Maria7 on 02/09/2019:
Happy for you on maintaining.



happy-1 - Friday Feb 01, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar/cholesterol.)
Weight: 216.3

So incredibly tired. I was supposed to get a down day / no adhd meds today but my dad ran out of meds... which meant that I had to take the smaller XR stuff just to get it together to get out and get them. I'm actually hoping everything will get easier now that a social worker through the hospital is involved. I've unknowingly been a caretaker for an undiagosed cancer patient for 4 years... gee no wonder I'm always 2 minutes from a freak out and total exhaustion.

Wins today were getting the kitchen back to "cookable", getting the smoothie stuff together to get 300 or so calories into mom (she got almost 1000 in today), getting a decent meal into my dad... chicken and sweet potato for dinner.

My big plan is to try to get up at 5:30 tomorrow so I can be up an out and thru my day before they start asking for things. It will make a difference I am sure.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2019:
Who has the cancer? your father? i'm sorry...i missed you writing about this earlier.

5:30am is a nice, early wakeup anywhere in the world! :) i'm sure it'll help you to get ready and start out with productivity first thing in the morning.


horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2019:
you can make your own 4 agreements keychain...or something similar....and keep it with you!!!!!! maybe just take a photo or use the lines as your phone background? or on the monitor of your computer. :) i might actually do this, at work. yeah, 4 agreements i think is my new monitor background at work :)


legcramps on 02/01/2019:
Your Mom has cancer? I'm so sorry to hear this, hugs.


Donkey on 02/02/2019:
I hope the social worker helps. They can be an invaluable resource. (((hugs)))



happy-1 - Thursday Jan 31, 2019
(Slow Carb + Yoga. Track fasting sugar/cholesterol.)
Weight: 216.3

222.3... In the right direction.

Last several days have been about survival mode. I have literally done everything I physically could and have not stopped moving from when my eyes open in the morning till I lay down at night.

I couldn't tell you what I ate... Except that this morning I threw out half a bag of cheap $1 cookies because I couldn't stop eating them. I thought that they'd be good enough to just have a couple with coffee, but they were terrible AND I couldn't stop eating them. But they would make me fat, sick, and nearly dead... so out they went. 

I also ate a single slice peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a lean cuisine, and an orange... some chicken and some hummus. Mom kept down some mashed potatoes and gingerale pretty well. That's hopeful... My dog also ate a lot. My dad isn't feeling well at all. He barely ate.

So tired. I lost my car keys yesterday and couldn't find them to save my life all day long. I left them on the windshield yesterday. I must have looked at them 20x and not seen them.

On a brighter note. I think I found my boots... For under $80 and size 16" calf which means just enough space to go over jeans. It's an online order from Nordstrom Rack, but the Born brand ones I tried on seemed good quality and with any luck, they won't have cheaped out on the heel cups... And I actually get them. I went through checkout and then they weren't listed anymore on the site! Like an apparition that might have disappeared as quickly as they came.

And not a moment too soon, because my current boots have broken shanks on both soles and aren't worth repairing. Fingers crossed.

Order Item Product Image

I need to find a Valentine's Day treat for my guy... Not sure what to get him... He's got a great signature fragrance, already has jewelry, likes fine tobacco (yuck)... But somehow does not have a swimsuit or anything for fun and adventures... I got him a windbreaker for Christmas... Maybe board shorts in a tall size?

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 01/31/2019:
I will write more, but, isn't it too warm by you to want to invest in any more boots!?!?

happy-1 on 02/01/2019:
Everyone needs 1 pair of boots and I am super self conscious about my calves because I have a bunch of big red scars on them from spider bites a few years ago that haven't faded yet. It was bad... So I basically wear them with dresses all year long and over jeans in the winter.


horn_of_plenty on 01/31/2019:
it's sad that people actually make "bad" cookies..i have had some myself, too!

i hope your dad feels better soon.

lastly, i'm glad you found your keys...eventually you did :)

happy-1 on 02/01/2019:
Thanks. I'm buying new batteries for my key fob tracker tonight for sure.


horn_of_plenty on 02/01/2019:
GREAT idea! a tracker is always so helpful!



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