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happy-1 - Saturday Jun 02, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Ha. Had a box of sweet potato chips open and by the couch and my mom came over to graze. I took it away gave her a single serving (16 crackers) and took the box away. If I don't watch it carefully she will eat the whole box and accuse me of ruining her diet.

Class today was a nightmare. Exhausted. I did take my dog for a long walk when I got home. 9,778 steps and counting as I do chores and burn off head cold remnants.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/03/2018:
Way to go in your steps!!!!

What happened with your mom is exactly why I (we) can't have chips in the house. Both my husband and I are guilty of this kind of "grazing"... until the bag is empty.

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Yeah, but she can't control her blood sugar and is having terrible problems. If she doesn't turn it around she has to go on insulin.

bearcountrygg on 06/03/2018:
We have too much of that kind of stuff here already.…..we plan to shop differently when it's gone....you Mom is basically doing what we all do...it's difficult.

happy-1 - Friday Jun 01, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

227.1.... normal weight fluctuation. Mom is generally frustrated with the world and most specifically with me because she is having a hard time controlling her blood sugar and I said last night that I haven't had a reading outside of 85-95 in 6 months. (Even though I'm not prediabetic anymore I still test 2x a day because I have panic attacks if I feel foggy, groggy, or tired.) I've offered to do meal prep for her multiple times but she keeps saying no... she wants freedom of choice at every meal, doesn't want to eat leftovers, and doesn't like all the space in the fridge being taken up with plasticware.

Also she is mad at me because we conflicted yesterday and she didn't think there was anything wrong with that tv show... I was like mom, anything that sexually explicit is super uncomfortable to watch with you. She said what are you talking about? Apparently she had no idea that the wedding speech was supposed to be funny because the groom was saying what the bride was like in bed. That puts a whole new horrifying spin on things.

Super tired. Have been posting photos of food to the Rise app for the nutritionist. She posts little comments about meals but no breakthroughs yet. At least I got up at 6 today! Inching my way back to being a contributing member of society.


Some dude ok okc asked if I was affectionate and passionate. I said like every other introvert the right person brings it out in me. He said "well I am very affectionate and passionate sorry if it is TMI" I said a little. I just don't like that stuff being brought up right away and try to cut it off at the pass. He also said he is diabetic and needs a meal prep app and the first thing that popped into my mind was erectile dysfunction. Am I hypocritical?


2pm. Broke down produce purchased yesterday to single servings. Unpacked clothes from last weekend. Trying to figure out what it would take to get a bed in the middle bedroom. -


4pm - Just felt hormones kick in. UGH. Crazy PMS monster is coming.


7:47 pm - Out at coffeeplace. Had to spend a couple of hours on a worksheet for tracking spending because doing stuff like that helps me relax enough to focus on homework. AND I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK (stress stress stress)


9:30pm - Why am I only starting homework now????  Why did my brain demand I spend time planning my menu for my camping trip??? I could have done that tomorrow.


Up: 6.... vyvanse, excedrin, advil 9 - oatmeal, coffee, half n half. Vitamins

12ish - mexican baked eggs. 2 eggs in enchilada sauce, 1/3 cup black beans, 1/2 cup brown rice, 2 cups spinach, 2 tbsp shredded cheese, 1 guac cup, stevia punch

1:40ish 1 bag dark choc peanut butter cups, adderall

3ish - Greek chicken bowl (1/3 chicken breast, 2 cups parsley, 1 cup cucumbers/tomatoes/onion, 1/2 cup brown rice, olive oil, lemon jiuice, salt/pepper

4:30ish - Another bag of dark choc peanut butter cups. 1 grande starbucks iced coffee with half n half. Needed to get out to study. 

9:10ish - cheese stick, hummus, cherry tomatoes, carrots, chicken, chocolate chip cookie 

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2018:
your food sounds good and your productivity sounds great. wow, you send photos of your food to the nutritionist...impressive.

great job keeping your own blood sugar in check!

what TV was it???

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
Productivity is low... class is tomorrow and I haven't done homework yet.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
Rise is the app the nutritionist is on... you take photos of what you eat and log them.

bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Send your photos to us too...we like good food pics!!!!...and I'm with HOP...what program does your Mom like? Sounds like an old British show....I remember...or is it a new one?

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
I'll see if I can find a way to post pics without driving back to my social media profile. I kind of depend on the anonymity of this site to kind of work out the things that block me from being fit and healthy and the people here to make me look at the things I am not looking at.

She's pulling up stuff like Girlfriends Guide to Divorce, Cuckoo, etc. All shows I would like if the atmosphere at home was friendlier and I wasn't watching w my parents. They lead to super uncomfortable discussions. My mom thinks I am out doing everything on TV.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
And when I say nobody really does that stuff she gets mad at me.

bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Never seen those shows. Moms kinda think that way sometimes...maybe she is fishing to get some admissions from you...

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
I am super boring

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
Which is probably why I am single. You have to like people in general to get jiggy with it the way they show on tv. I hate most people.

Donkey on 06/01/2018:
I completely get what you are saying about those types of shows. I have to be in the right frame of mind for them, and watching them with my mom would be so totally embarrassing. It probably shouldn't be, but it would be very painful to do so.

Your noon meal sounds delicious! Actually, so do the rest of your meals!

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
It's cheap to cook at home! Except for treats I can do less than $5 a day per person, lol.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
This is why we should work on a food/recipe blog together for extra cash. $11-19 RPMs.

happy-1 - Thursday May 31, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Still on the mend but I must be feeling better because after I had oatmeal and coffee, i got up amd cleaned. I wish I knew why when I am sick and I have too much to do I further compound the problem by staying up till 4am watching Hallmark movies? Self sabotage at it's laziest.

Shower next.


3:46... showered, hair blown dry. Just sorted through what's left in my cooler from dog sitting and discovered 2 days worth of meals in there when properly assembled. Yay!

Dog is restless and making me crazy. I need to wear her out in the am for a peaceful day. Not sure how to do that with her hips.

Prioritization... physically better but brain is still a pudding bucket.


4-5:30 talked to UDG. God bless him for boosting my morale.


6pm - super hungry and just made dinner when the circus came home. Both were grumpy and my mom put on a tv show with gross humor from the uk that kind of poisoned the energy of the house and blitzed my brain out more. I don't know why she goes for these sexually graphic, crude shows that are angry funny not happy funny.


3am - lemon nilla wafers. Lost count

8am - coffee, meds and oatmeal

1:30 pm - eating my feelings. Jack's cheese pizza and 2 coke lifes.

5:30 - 2 eggs baked in enchilada sauce, 1/2 cup cooked brown rice, 1/3 cup black beans, 2 tbsp shredded cheese, 1 cup guac, hot sauce. Water w stevia punch flavoring.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/31/2018:
Sounds like you are feeling better...…...that's good news.

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
I am. Should be functional the rest of the way for class on saturday. Might track down a cup of coffee and wifi tonight

Donkey on 05/31/2018:

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
Thanks! Kind of need them today.

happy-1 - Wednesday May 30, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Decided to skip a challenge cycle and try Rise. It is a food logging app where a professional nutritionist can review your food choices and help you make better choices. It seems like a lot of work but I liked the first message from the lady I picked. She seemed the least "everything must be perfect". There was another lady with a recipe blog, but I don't want to fuss with fancy recipes.

It was too depressing to try to log what I ate today so I started by logging tomorrow's meal plan and packing my cooler as I did it.

6AM PLAN: WATER (16oz) MEDS (60mg Vyvanse, 2 Excedrin) COFFEE (Coffee + 1/8 cup half n half) OVERNIGHT OATS (1 tablespoon coconut oil, 1tbsp maca, 1 tbsp cinnamon, 1 tbsp flax seed meal, 1 tbsp chia seeds, 1 tbsp hemp hearts, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder, 1/3 cup steel cut oats, raisins, walnuts) PILL PACK (HMB 1,000 mg, Fish Oil 2,000, Quercetin 800 mg, Astaxanthin 12 mg, Lycopene 30 mg, Vitamin D 2,000 IU, Kelp/Iodine 150 mcg, probiotic capsule, 2 turmeric capsules, 1 hydralauronic acid capsule, 1 hair skin nails capsule, chewable multivitamin)

9AM PLAN WATER (16oz) 2 CUPS GREENS (Broccoli) 1 CUP VEG (Tomatoes) 3 PROTEINS (2 eggs, 1/2 a no nitrite sausage)

12PM PLAN WATER (16oz) 2 CUPS GREENS (Parsley) 1 CUP VEG (tomatoes, onions, cucumbers) 1 PROTEIN ( 1/3 chicken breast) 1 COMPLEX CARB (1 kirkland hummus cup) 1 COMPLEX CARB (16 3 seed sweet potato crackers)

3PM PLAN: WATER (16oz) MEDS (Adderall, 20mg) 1 FRUIT (1 cup blueberries) 1 PROTEIN (1 cup honey greek yogurt) 1 NUT (1/3 cup paleo granola)

6PM PLAN: WATER (16oz) 1 PROTEIN (broiled chicken thigh with skin) 2 CUPS GREENS (broccoli) 1 COMPLEX CARB (1/2 a sweet potato)

9PM PLAN: MEDS (lunesta) WATER (16oz) 1/3 bar 86% dark chocolate


Deviations from plan:

Still have a cold. Woke up at 6, took meds, laid down to ice my nose and fell asleep again. It is split on the inside from getting conked 4 times in a week. Ended up eating at 9. Then I laid back down to ice it again.

11:30 - 2 advil. Aches and pains from cold all over.

Having 2nd breakfast at 1 instead of 9 and added a stevia orange drink packet to my water.

3:42 - short 16oz water, additional protein cookie

Ate dinner at 7 instead of 6.


Heard from puppy's mom... apparently the Nature's Miracle worked and she is thrilled. Makes me feel better about forgetting that package of raw chicken breasts there. The puppy has also slept for 3 days. I'll bet he's saving up energy for the next time he sees me.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/30/2018:
Looks great...…..

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
Lol... plans always look great. Reality is always more messy!

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
I told her I have to watch my budget really closely right now so I can only make plan changes 1x a week when I make grocery lists on Thursdays and then implement when I go food shopping on Sundays and cook/prep meals for the week.

horn_of_plenty on 05/30/2018:
well, your menu does look 100% awesome!

today has passed so be happy it's a new day!

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
Everyday above ground is a do-over and a chance to get it right!

horn_of_plenty on 05/30/2018:
AND, we learn from any and all mistakes. so in effect, every time we make a mistake we actually are improving...for real, i've gotten much much better at maintenance this year!

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
I like your positive attitude! And good job on the maintenance!

bearcountrygg on 05/30/2018:
Things only really click when we are ready for them to click……..and when they do....it's easier to carry out. Being sick is a tough time to try to fix anything other than to heal...and feel better. Hope this cold and sore nose heal quickly.

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
I feel like my frustration when I get sick propels me to make positive changes.

bearcountrygg on 05/30/2018:
Well...the that can work for you!!!! One thing...sometimes when we are sick..we aren't very hungry and it gives the wt loss a kick start.

happy-1 on 05/30/2018:
Ha. I'm starving.

happy-1 - Tuesday May 29, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

226. Probably all the pizza and beer this weekend. No regrets.

I have a big fat head cold. My dog has something wrong with her ear. We are a pair


Slow start today. Head is all stuffed up and everything hurts. Read an article on adhd and how it affects weight gain/loss. Sure describes me to a T...

"The symptoms of ADHD that make it hard to focus at school, succeed at work, or manage your relationships also make it exceedingly hard to eat properly and exercise on a regular schedule."


Debating whether I want to pay for another 60 day challenge. I do feel like someone should have said "Hey Amanda where are you?" since I paid $60 for it and there were only 2 people in it.


6 am S - missed overslept

9 am B - coffee latte packet, protein cookie, trail mix

12 pm L - 2 hard boiled eggs, hummus cup, baby carrots, stevia coke. Guac cup. Single serving of 3 seed sweet potato chips.

3 pm S - 2 cheese sticks, 1 apple, 1 jack's pizza. 3:30 - Finished off the bag of trail mix. 4:30 - mac n cheese

6 pm D -

9 pm S -

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/29/2018:
Feel better!

horn_of_plenty on 05/29/2018:
feel better...drink some good fluids to get things back in control!

happy-1 - Monday May 28, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Puppy peed the couch last night. I'm pretty sure it is separation anxiety peeing and not territory peeing. They had been co-sleeping there all night and then I started packing and he peed. It sucked to spend half of what I made on a gallon of Nature's Miracle (red bottle) but I was sure glad to have it when I saw that pee spot. Just pour, let the enzymes eat all the pee and secrete it as ammonia and carbon dioxide which evaporates. When dry, repeat till smell is gone. When dry, wipe the water mark off with a clean white cloth and alcohol. Done. She offered to pay me back for the bottle but I said nah, I should have watched him more closely.



12:30 - Home now. Long drive! Laundry is on. Car is unpacked. In process of cleaning the kitchen because it is full of ants!!! Oy. Only 4.5 hours of sleep and I am beat.



I dunno what posessed me to not do homework and scoop up my ancient dog for a couch cuddle but 2.5 hours later we are still here and she is passed out cold chasing rabbits and wuffing. Dying to get up and get something to eat but who can disturb a 133 year old lady dog who is sooo tired from a weekend with a huge tank of a bulldog puppy?

Still cute. Always my puppy.

Can't just pick up the bulldog puppy and have him flop over into the perfect endurance cuddle session position and pass out... That takes years to perfect.

This big yellow pampered fluffball that does anything I ask of her just to be with me and follows me everywhere like a silent shadow is hardly the crazy ex-junkyard pooch that jumped through plate glass windows, howled like a car alarm if I tied her up while I went inside to pee, devoured any prey that crossed her path, and ate plastic razors.



Still sitting here rubbing my dog. Some CBD oil treats helped but if I try to get up and do things she tries to get up and follow me on stiff old bones that clearly ache along every millimeter and tendon. It was heartbreaking to see her crawl down off the couch and have to pull away with her front legs because the back legs weren't working. Gave her 3 treats and rubs and she is passed out cold again. I am starving and probably need to leave the house to get food and homework done but I'm just as tired.



B: 7 - coffee, half n half, oatmeal

S: 11:30 - 2 slices of leftover pizza. Should have had eggs, spinach, and beans according to diet plan.

12:30 - must have chocolate because I'm single attack - dried cherries, blueberries, and strawberries covered in 70% dark chocolate.

5:10 - 2 hard boiled eggs, hummus cup. Carrots

7:30 - figornos thin crispy crust pizza

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/28/2018:
Guess the absolute minute the puppy wakes up...it needs to go out.

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
He goes to the door to ask to be let out normally

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Wish I had known about Nature's Miracle before... My grey kitty has issues.

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
Yeah, it's hard to get rid of cat urine. If you apply it to an old spot you used chemicals on before, pour plain water to rinse away the chemicals and give the enzymes a better shot at survival long enough to eat the protein in the cat urine. You are basically creating an ecosystem to eat the smelly stuff.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/28/2018:
wow you are nice...i would have prob taken the money! haha...you are a good dog sitter!

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
Yeah I didn't apologize... Dogs will do what they will do, but I can try to make it better.

horn_of_plenty on 05/29/2018:
yes, def no apology needed.

happy-1 - Sunday May 27, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

The dogs were so tired after their big nightlife excursion to the park and the brewery they went right to bed. I was even able to herd the puppy to his crate and push him in there, where he promptly passed out and snored away. No whining or objections. My dog passed out as soon as I put our bed together on the couch and there was no fussing about her leaky butt staying on her rubber-backed travel bed. She was out where she was planted. And so was I. The puppy was good but took a lot of convincing every step of the way and had zero faith in me.


Molly came and hung out and we took the dogs brewery hopping. The puppy has this cafe and brewery thing down now after watching my dog and he just finds love or flops over and chills.

This dog is a total dude magnet. Guys love a big, lovable, friendly bulldog. Ugh that's what my mistake was. I should have always had two dogs. One needs to be a dude magnet.


10pm and so much to do before tomorrow! I need to pack up my stuff to leave at 8ish... make up raw meat so I can take it home in the cooler... clean everything... read my mail... do homework... sleep.. maybe I will take my dog back to the brewery with free wifi after I leave tomorrow am and do homework.

Do I go find a campsite after??? Hmmm.


8:30 am big breakfast while waiting for my meds to kick in. Yogurt and blueberries, 1 paleo pancake in butter, 3 scrambled eggs, 1 pint of protein ice cream, stevia orange drink. I just ate whatever I could put in me fast this morning I was so hungry.

2pm - greek yogurt, 1 cup blueberries, granola.

3pm - guac packet 3 seed crackers almond

Beers w molly

Several slices of awesome pizza.

1/2 a container of protein ice cream

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 05/28/2018:
Sounds like a lovely day! LOL on the dog dude magnet. I hear it works the other way around too :-)

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
Dudes are magnets for dogs? I'm definitely a dog magnet. Dogs jump their fences when I walk by and show up on my doorstep trying to be my dog.

bearcountrygg on 05/28/2018:
My oldest son wanted to go to the mall once with me...( and I was taking 2 infant foster children in their double stroller)....I couldn't figure out why he wanted to go....he put on his football jersey and off we went....at the mall...he told me he would stay out at the fountain with the babies......I found out later why....when I came out of the store...he had a GROUP of teenage girls around him....guess a 17 year old in a football jersey and a couple of baby girls were a girl magnet....funny how that works...babies probably wouldn't work as a guy magnet...guess it's dogs...LOL

happy-1 on 05/28/2018:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! And a smooth operator. Almost. Except you figured out his angle. Still... props to him for getting out there with some bait. Clearly our species will keep going as long as there are football jerseys.

happy-1 - Saturday May 26, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Everything hurts and I'm dying, lol. Cancelled the barre workout class this morning because I woke up cold, achey, sweaty, and all screwed up from allergies+omg-I-haven't-worked-out-in-forever. I think the heat must not have been used here for a long tome and turning it on released something. Coffee and a hot epsom salt bath helped me move again and feel clear... but I am going slow. Took me like 3 hours to go through the food I brought, toss what's gone bad, and set it up to be easy to grab and cook for 1. After lunch I straightened out the clothes I packed. Thrn I chased the dogs around the yard for an hour. Then I just had to lay down for an hour. I don't feel like I did much today so far but I have done all I can.


Pet store run. 3 big bags of cbd oil treats for my dog, and a big bottle of Nature's Miracle to soak a couch cushion theor dog peed on after I left and before they got home. Now to completely empty out my car so I can get the puppy's crate in to go to the park. A tired puppy is a good puppy.


Okcupid date with the dogs at a brewery. Puppy was mostly well behaved... for his first time out and about. Date was good-looking but aafter talking to him for a while I felt bad for his dogs... he has 2 big black german shepherds who live in the yard and are untrained. They don't get to go for walks or trips and this dude is a teacher and in really good shape! He runs marathons but he doesn't take his dogs out??? He says they are too wild to take out. They would be barking and all over the place... not if you take them out dumbass!


6 - oatmeal coffee half n half

9 - skipped

12 - homemade burrito bowl w salad, diet come

2 - omg I need chocolate attack during nap time.

3 - skipped

*4:30 - double cheese burger lettuce wrap, diet coke. Theory is burgers and caffeine relieve soreness.

8:30 1/2 a beer

10pm - frozen pizza - digornos thin and crispy

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/26/2018:
Turmeric……..good for inflammation....and I have tot to try those bowls...I LOVE the idea....

happy-1 on 05/26/2018:
Yeah, I make black beans and use chicken broth and load up the turmeric. It hides it well. Here's a paleo burrito bowl to get you started... i did brown rice today and just let it cool to slightly warm for the resistant carbs.


bearcountrygg on 05/27/2018:
Sounds really good!!!! I actually don't mind the taste of turmeric...and I also take the capsules.

happy-1 on 05/27/2018:
I take the capsules too!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/27/2018:
do you take allergy medicine? i take a 24hr pill and lately it completely gets rid of all allergy symptoms...except that i think i am tired still more this time of year.

anyways, i'm grateful that all allergy medicine is over the counter and not rx. makes it easier to get it compared to when we were kids and everything with rx.

happy-1 on 05/27/2018:
Just flonase. I can't take vyvanse w allergy meds.

Take your allergy med as a sleep aid... those things will knock u out

bearcountrygg on 05/27/2018:
HOP..allergy medicine makes you sleepy.

Donkey on 05/27/2018:
I was trying to figure out how a "burrito" bowl can be paleo, keto, etc. Thanks to the website link you provided, I got it figured out now ;-)

I'm sorry everything aches. My husband has days like that, too. No relief for the weary.

happy-1 on 05/27/2018:
Epsom salt baths are a godsend. I bought a small package of lavender this time but next time a bucket of plain and some essential oils are how I am going. 2 cups in a bathtub doesn't go very far.

happy-1 - Friday May 25, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

First interview of the week was a pass without reason or feedback. Ugh.

Up dog sitting again. Super tired. Got only 4h of sleep and had to fix two flat tires this morning... oi.. Booked a workout today at a fitness studio using class pass and I am super beat. Nap time then homework.


My body is a cranky toddler that wants to skip working out and order a pizza. And I'm starving!!!!!!!


Compromise... I will go to the workout and then hit food4less and pickup my beloved jacks pizzas that I crave night and day. I can do this. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

It's amazing how not wanting to lose class pass credits is making me go to the class tonight.

Focusing on how good it will feel to take a hot bath with lavender epsom salts after.

Why am I biologically unable to nap?


Went to class so I get a pizza. Tomorrow I have a barre class at 9am. Then I get another pizza. And a date off okcupid.

Got back in touch with online shrink. Buying one phone call with her next week to get a lead on getting unstuck.


In bed: 1am

Up: 4:30am... Coffee, half n half

Exercise: walked 2 doggies. They liked that.

10am - burrito bowl... black beans/potatoes, brown rice, shredded cheese

9 dark chocolate peanut butter cups.

1.5 cheese sticks and some 3 seed sweet potato crackers

1 protein cookie

2 hersheys kisses w almonds

1 digornos thin and crispy pepperoni pizza

1 hansens gingerale

1/3 of a chicken quesedilla I bought my dog but it was insane and I shared it with her.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/25/2018:
2 FLATS!? or 1 and you fixed it as a pair?

happy-1 on 05/25/2018:
Yes... because I had a pump, slime, and plugs, and because I could see the nails to patch the holes... and i remembered to chalk the tires before pulling the nails out this time.

happy-1 on 05/25/2018:
How much of what's on this list is in your trunk? https://urbansurvivalsite.com/what-to-put-in-your-vehicle-survival-kit/

bearcountrygg on 05/25/2018:
I have 8 of the things on the list in the car...and I NEVER let my gas tank get below half. Now at home ...we do have most of those things ( no glow sticks )...but lots of flashlights and batteries and candles. The truck has more of that stuff.....that truck is a rolling closet...LOL

happy-1 on 05/25/2018:
Yeah. I have most of that stuff, but I also just keep my backpack and camping stuff in the car. I have fluids and bulbs, etc. I have to get a better shovel.

Donkey on 05/26/2018:
I make deals with myself for food too. ;-)

happy-1 on 05/26/2018:
Strangely motivating though,right?

happy-1 on 05/26/2018:
Strangely motivating though,right?

happy-1 - Thursday May 24, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Classpass is offering free trials this week. I've been wanting to sign up but was shy because you can't see what businesses are in there in your area first! This is a way better option than 24 hour fitness. The yelp reviews for the one near me are scary... and it sounds like the bathrooms are gross all the time... not a good option to shower after. Planet Fitness did a better job cleaning up regularly but even they couldn't get all the hair off the shower curtains. Gag. Equinox did a great job but didn't offer evening hours till 11.

Hope! A dose of hope! And a shot at looking good in that swimwear I just bought. Also, looks like Lands End has tall size rashguards but no 1 piece paddle suits.

And I really need the hope. Haven't heard back on any of the interview tests I sent out and it's eating at me. And for some reason my mom trying to be nice to me and take me for food because she flipped out made me really low and unfocused. I ended up watching tv till 3 and looking at funny posts on Instagram while eating everything that wasn't nailed down (2 more rolls, a box of dark chocolate blueberries) until I could just pass out. Set my alarm and got up on time though so I can get to bed on time.

Intent for the day is to tackle homework for class.


Laid too much out on UDG today by text. He was bringing up the possibility of hooking up a bit and I shut it down last night because the very thought of him having a heart attack or stroke en flagrante terrifies me. But I felt bad about it today so I sent too many texts. "It has nothing to do with someone not being good enough or not being a match. We both have too much **** to work on right now to start anything. I need to get a job, my own place, and get my weight down below 180 to reduce my risk of a heart attack or stroke (that also means no hormonal birth control because the pill for women who are over 165 was raising my blood pressure so high I was sick. That's 65 lbs away) before I can date anyone. I'd love kids but my health is **** and my finances are **** and I am trapped with my crazy hoarder parents. I can't risk an accidental pregnancy and bring a kid into that. I shouldn't have been on the dating sites but I was lonely. I've got to get my head out of my ass over my ex. I was "prey" and how much I beat myself up over it everyday and how much my confidence in my ability to make good choices really affects my ability to interview well and makes me so sad I stay up late and eat my feelings... so I'm struggling to follow the challenge and doing things that aren't supporting that goal at the same time. The online therapist wasn't really effective for that... she just didn't really get the "chump" factor. DA helps get some things straight but isn't a good place to talk about that... I tried getting in touch with my ex... but I didn't get the answers I wanted and he wanted me to come to his boat so that didn't work out. I just don't know the next steps to unblock myself." There was more but that was the crux.

Too much. I hope he doesn't stop talking to me. I am running out of friends.

2pm. Took 5h to get my head together but there we go. Thank you DD for being the place to dump my chaos and get to productive.


Signed up for the class pass trial and booked a bunch of classes up where I will be dog sitting. This is really cool! I also downloaded a Food tracker app called Wholesome that tracks micronutrients. Not all of them though (caffeine), and not ingredients like sucralose


Part of a cup of coffee. Oatmeal

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2018:
i basically cannot buy anything chocolate covered if it's more than one serving size. i tried in the Winter, and the same occurance happened to me as you with the choc blueberries. mine were dark choc pomegranates. they are made to want to make you inhale them and not feel full even after eating a whole bag full. i don't buy hardly anything, aside from chips, which are more than one serving per container in pure junk food. even tho blueberries and dark chocolate, i consider it junk because of the sweetness and what it does to the body - hard to stop eating once i start! :( i feel your pain.

get your hw done, lady!

bearcountrygg on 05/24/2018:
I agree with HOP...having the bigger containers around of trigger foods can be an issue for me too....I've tried buying the small bags by the case...and I just end up eating 2of them...that happened today...when I was missing salt and sugar.

Donkey on 05/24/2018:
I'm sorry, what does UDG stand for? G=Guy?

happy-1 on 05/24/2018:
Ugly Dating Guy (UDG) because I met him on the ugly dating app. We talk almost daily, but he's topping 400 lbs.

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