home
forums directory search about DD
Sign-in or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
BearCountryGG 9 min
Jacky82020 2 hrs
Horn_Of_Plenty 3 hrs
Donkey 4 hrs
InnerPeace 9 hrs
happy-1 9 hrs
Coffee&Calories 2 days
Maria7 6 days
Brett 7 days
legcramps 17 days
KathyBlue 24 days
little_one 10/13
Supercheese 9/08
omysexydollgood 8/02
mulli 7/21
StarStickers 4/25
grannyannie 3/09
thinkpositive 2/28
Cassie2020 2/11
Adam 1/23
blueocean 12/20
Corazon 10/06
trishpiglet3 9/29
Duaa123. 9/28
tgshare 9/05

Recent Forum Topics
Measurements and weights - 11:14A 28-Oct

Certificate Expiration - DD webmaster :) - 7:51A 7-Oct

New spammer - 4:36A 21-Jul

Virtual Challenges - 6:56A 11-Jul

Spam removed - 9:07P 23-Mar

Spam removed - 9:07P 23-Mar

view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Friday Sep 18, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 225.4

Frustration level is a 10 today.

Gratitude attitude shift. I am grateful that I have:

  • My dad... Even if he is impossible
  • A home... Even if the mess is overwhelming
  • Medical care... Even if my doc was unhelpful and I need to find a new one
  • A dryer... even if it is broken and $400 more to repair
  • My dog... even if I am not making her final days perfect
  • Piles of paperwork... at least I have things I need to do and am not so old I can't do anything

Tiny amount more sleep. Feeling slightly better.

Trying to work in the living room today instead of my bedroom for better sleep hygeine. I have been doing all daily activities in the same spot in my bed. Downside... dad won't stop bugging me for stuff. AAAAACK. 

We will try to find a hat he can see that will tell him I am not available, don't bother me.

Progress as of today: 91.6 lbs lost so far, only 65.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/18/2020:
I find it helpful, too, to focus, consciously, on the things I'm grateful for, especially in frustrating days.

(((hugs))) you're doing a really good job !

happy-1 on 09/23/2020:
Inch by inch... Trying to pull myself up.

happy-1 on 09/24/2020:
And that you said I am doing a good job means everything


Horn_of_plenty on 09/19/2020:
below to your question back to me on sleep...i just feel sometimes we are too busy or just cannot get the sleep we want (back when i was working i felt this way often) and when that happens, i try not to think too much about it other than that later in the week or another day i will sleep more...when i can.

do you have a couch in the living room to do work on? LOL...this is what i do...for comfort purposes. hahaha...

a desk would be better to work at, and i do have one!, but i find the couch much more comfortable!

it's nice to find the silver lining in things even if they are so stressful and frustrating <3


Horn_of_plenty on 09/21/2020:
Sending you good wishes, Ms. Happy!



happy-1 - Thursday Sep 17, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 225.4

So all my data crunching yielded fruit. The mystery element is overall 30 day sleep debt. So like if I am 15 min short on sleep 30 days in a row, I don't notice it looking at my sleep stats on Garmin, but it's there lurking. When I push harder to get on track, I push that sleep debt just a little higher, I get more tired, and that makes me easier to derail.

I think if I crunch more data from my diary, I will figure out why sometimes that sleep debt accrues faster than others, or sometimes I don't "derail" that I notice because I am in the process of getting back on habit and not on habit yet to derail from.

Hypotheses as to why it is so much harder right now and why the sleep debt is so much worse...  I'm wondering if my blood pressure meds are too strong for me now that I have normal to low blood pressure.

OT helped me frame my research a little bit so that I can show a doctor my sleep data and find a way to get on track.

 

 

Progress as of today: 91.6 lbs lost so far, only 65.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/17/2020:
well...do what bcgg says...that can help!

but also, try not to emphasize too much on this lack of sleep...i fear it will stress you out...it would stress me...it has in the past!

happy-1 on 09/18/2020:
Really? I see it as something that is 100% controllable. Sleep drive is controlled by adenosine. It's a reservoir that fills and empties. https://www.sleepscore.com/learn-about-adenosine/


Horn_of_plenty on 09/17/2020:
also, supporting you always!!

happy-1 on 09/18/2020:
Hugs. Same here!


Maria7 on 09/18/2020:
Have a happy day!

happy-1 on 09/18/2020:
Hugs!



happy-1 - Wednesday Sep 16, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 225.4

Getting ready for the OT call. Creating a ranking system for my days to pinpoint where I need to pay attention to data.

Here is my 1-10 rating system for on track/off track

  • 10 = Meeting life goals
  • 9 = On habit, making progress, seeing rewards
  • 8 = On habit, making progress
  • 7 = On habit, maintaining boundaries, just needs repitition to make progress
  • 6 = Almost on habit, a portion of the day is back on track
  • 5 = Incrementally making progress back towards being on habit
  • 4 = Making changes to be able to push myself back on habit
  • 3 = I know I was derailed and I need to get back up, but I can't yet
  • 2 = Inexplicably derailed by drama 
  • 1 = Derailed and unable to get back on track without paying for additional, unscheduled services (Pro-organizer, caregiver, housekeeper)

Progress as of today: 91.6 lbs lost so far, only 65.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/16/2020:
You are a great writer, Happy!!!! you have a knack for wording!

happy-1 on 09/17/2020:
LOL. I'm glad I have that going for me at least!!!


Donkey on 09/17/2020:
I really appreciate this rating scale. I hadn't given any of this much thought, but I can see how, looking back, I have days - sometimes spans of days - that are great, and some that are not great.

This system would be very good for graphing, if you're a visual person.

happy-1 on 09/17/2020:
Yeah... Google sheets has "Conditional formatting" where it changes the color of the cell based on the value. I assigned colors to the values of sleep debt over 1 day, 7 days, and 30 days and scared myself.

Planning to see where all the greens vs reds match up... And scare myself again!!!

Happy halloween... for middle aged women?


Maria7 on 09/17/2020:
Hope you have a wonderful day.

happy-1 on 09/17/2020:
Hugs! You too!



happy-1 - Tuesday Sep 15, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 225.4

OT appt is tomorrow. Still crunching on my timeline. Finishing it is all I can think about. There are things that are more important, but it is stuck in my brain that somewhere in these stats and diary notes is the answer to why 2% of drama derails me 95% of the time.

Dad went out with the caregiver. I should take a bath but I'm actually too tired to do that and when they get back I need to go run errands. In the meantime, I get to sit in the living room like a human being, stress-free.

Aaaaah.

Progress as of today: 91.6 lbs lost so far, only 65.4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 09/15/2020:
Yes, enjoy your break. You deserve one. Smile!


Horn_of_plenty on 09/15/2020:
so glad to hear from you!

enjoy your rest, Happy!


Donkey on 09/15/2020:
Glad to hear you got a break!!

That's very interesting to read your intake on how drama derails you. I think I could explore that observation in my own life - especially when it comes to work. Hmm...

happy-1 on 09/15/2020:
Yeah... There has to be an explanation as to why 98% of the time it bounces off me like water off a ducks back... Then exery once in a while it hits me just right and I do a full on wipeout. I don't think it is mood or emotional. I think it is sleep. Doing a scattergraph on sleep debt...


grannyannie on 09/16/2020:
Nice you got a break!



happy-1 - Friday Sep 11, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 226.6

 I need to keep this short, but just wanted to sy I successfully enforced boundaries with dad today, did not wear myself out, and defended my rule of no drama, stress, or critical discussions after 6pm. I am in bed on time. Yay me

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 09/12/2020:
Well done!!!


Donkey on 09/12/2020:
Excellent!!! I like those boundaries!


Horn_of_plenty on 09/12/2020:
proud of you, you will feel good i hope in the morning when goiong to bed at a set time that is earlier than usual!


Maria7 on 09/15/2020:
Good for you! Smile.



happy-1 - Thursday Sep 10, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 226.6

 

It looks like an overcast day, but it is actually smoke and ash. 

Super, super tired. Somehow, seeing data that I am not getting enough REM sleep made me feel even more tired.

Was doing ok on only 5h of sleep, but somehow burned out on that... Like so tired I did a bank errand for my dad, then had to get some food. Tried to do a quick shopping stop but had abandon my cart to come home and just go to bed. It's like 4pm right now.

Successes yesterday:

  • Garage sorting with organizer... she did a couple of boxes, I cleaned the patio, kept going after she left and got through all the hardware outside. Got her started on looking at my project plan.
  • Had 8h of sleep. but 10% REM so still felt as tired as I did today on 5h.
  • Factor75 came. Actual fuel in my body tank.

Challenges:

  • Exhausted
  • Lost time on pro organizer help because of cat drama
  • Dad struggle in the middle of the afternoon when I came in for lunch and a break.
  • Got too into loading data in my project plan, stayed up till 2AM
  • Anger because dad told the caregiver she's become like family to us. She's only been here a couple of months and we pay agency rates. That means a lot more obligation for me... Like family means flexible schedules, etc.

Successes today:

  • Procrastination busted on a task, even if I was too tired to finish it. Inching towards my freedom.
  • Did not murder Dad when he thanked me for getting him the hospital bed and the variable pressure mattress, "I feel great! It's the best thing you've done for me lately! I think I'll go to Walmart with the caregiver." I reacted, but pulled it back. He fought me and my mom over getting him a hospital bed for decades. 
  • Did not murder Dad when he wouldn't let the caregiver help him try a new footstool from Amazon. He wants to talk to me about it first. I just said "You guys sort it out. I'm going to bed."
  • Ex-ish finally invited both me AND my dog to come over to watch a movie this weekend. AAAAAAAAAAAAW. Took a while, but he got there. How can I say no to that?

Challenges today:

  • Exhaustion
  • Dehydration
  • Brain fog
  • I have to go back out there to get Factor75 meals to put in my cooler... So I don't have to go back out there.
  • Can't get a vet visit for the cat till Wednesday. I have to keep him in my bathroom, on the patio, or in my bedroom in the dog crate till then. I will listen to nonstop yowling or sacrifice something essential he will no doubt pee on. 

Remember, spread positive vibes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2YPo6zbsXY&feature=youtu.be

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/10/2020:
((hugs))


Horn_of_plenty on 09/10/2020:
i heard about those horrible fires by you in Cali! so sorry, the pics look bad!

like you - i find it impossible to continuously focus on no sleep. luckily that hasn't been a problem for me for 6 whole months!


grannyannie on 09/11/2020:
Ugh. Hope things improve for you!


Donkey on 09/11/2020:
That's a whole lot, on little sleep.

Try not to let dad's comments to the caregiver get to you. I know that's not easy. I totally get why the comments sting. (((hugs)))



happy-1 - Tuesday Sep 08, 2020
(Week 2 - 9/20 60 day challenge, stubborn mule)
Weight: 226.6

Still trying to get back up. Spent till 2am in the morning on the timeline of health stats and diary notes. Crazy tired and foggy.

Successes today:

  • Friend signed up for Ompractice (yay!)
  • Caregiver came and helped me straighten out the living room. I (almost) sorted all my mom's scattered hardware I've been pulling out of boxes of papers

Challenges today:

  • Exhaustion
  • Breathing problems
  • I didn't want to work on anything but my timeline so I can be ready for the OT appointment I made for the 16th. Hopefully she can put me back on track. It is not the highest priority thing for me to do, but I desperately want to feel better (and be less of a **** to my dad) so it is all I can think about.

Successes yesterday:

  • Starting wellness timeline
  • In entering and analyzing data, I discovered that my REM sleep % of overall sleep time is way, way below normal this past year. Why I don't know

Challenges yesterday:

  • Heat
  • Exhaustion
  • Stayed up too late watching The Last Kingdom on Netflix
  • Trying to get into the kitchen to steam some carrots and cauliflower without encountering dad (didn't work)

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/09/2020:
HAP...I responded just this morning to your post from monday about a senior drop in center type of place......( should have wrote it here instead.) Like daycare for adults in need. I get the income situation......plus you can't trust him to be home alone. Check out Mondays response if you want.

happy-1 on 09/10/2020:
I will look. I think that he's going to have to decline more before I can get him to go to an adult health center. The thing about hoarders is they hate being out of their "nest". they don't want to get up and go for a walk, be around people, or do anything stimulating. They just want to sit in their den and eat and hide. If you try to get them out for anything, it's like trying to pull a possum out of a hole. Get ready to get destroyed. Also, it's A LOT of work to get a 300lb man into a car.


Donkey on 09/09/2020:
Good breakdown of challenges and successes! You know, I might do that for myself.

happy-1 on 09/10/2020:
Really helps. Looking back at my timeline, if I had done that earlier it would be a lot easier to match symptoms to sleep issues.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2020:
yup, great breakdown and good way to determine the things you need to work on! you are so good at this that i bet you'd be GREAT helping others working on their own plans and self-improvement too!

happy-1 on 09/10/2020:
HAAAAAA... I'll help others once I actually can show myself as a success story.


Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2020:
why are you having breathing problems?

happy-1 on 09/10/2020:
Fires in LA County blow smoke our way.


legcramps on 09/09/2020:
Along the lines of what BCGG said, Does your community have day programs for seniors? Might be a nice day trip for Dad to venture out and get some social activity in with other people, and it might help alleviate some of the fighting that happens. I’m sure you’re both frustrated with the situation and he might need the social interaction just as much as you do. Hugs!

happy-1 on 09/10/2020:
Right????

After my mom passed last year I checked those out. they looked like fun. Cheap lunch, a chance to meet some people. Bingo nights. Casino bus trips, etc. I would totally go with him just to get out of the house. He said NO. Caregiver might have more luck. I have a whole project folder for her to use for that.

Hoarder issue on this. It's complicated. But basically he doesn't feel good enough about himself to socialize.


Maria7 on 09/09/2020:
Do something special just for you.

happy-1 on 09/10/2020:
Very good idea!!! A self hug!

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}



happy-1 - Monday Sep 07, 2020
(Week 2 of 9/2020 60 day challenge cycle stubborn m)
Weight: 226.6

Almost got back up yesterday. Almost.

Trying to figure out why a fight with my dad on 8/26 over not doing anything on the list with the caregiver and his health sick fakeout on 8/28 derailed me so hard that the week I actually managed to do everything on track for myself was also the week I also took a nose dive and derailed. 

I figure I will go back to a few weeks before my last hard core "the fitness mule threw me" nose dive back in July. Going back through all of my Garmin health stats and diary entries, texts, etc. to try and piece together a timeline for on track/off track.

What would you look at as critical data that might help you see where you got derailed so you can land a litlle softer when the fitness mule kicks you?

So far I'm going for:

  1. Garmin body battery
  2. Hours slept
  3. Calories burned (indicator of how much physical exhaustion I am dealing with)
  4. Diary notes
  5. Food
  6. Hydration

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 09/07/2020:
((HUGS))

happy-1 on 09/08/2020:
Thank you. I need them.

happy-1 on 09/08/2020:
You are the queen of consistency and positive mindset to overcome all obstacles. I will persist and follow your lead.


Maria7 on 09/07/2020:
We're all human. Sometimes we are very stressed and things don't go as well as we wish they would have, we realize when we later look back at how we reacted to certain things. All we can do is to do the best we can TODAY. Smile.

happy-1 on 09/08/2020:
Aaaaw. You perfectly embody "When you fall, stop, give yourself a hug. The hug feels good and you will be ready to get back on track."

I'm looking for actual data though on why I am getting derailed. I get 20 things a day on the same scale as those and I breeze by them. I think those two hit me back to back at vulnerable points. I'm looking for the pattern that makes me vulnerable... am I not getting enough sleep? Too many heavy labor days in a row? Other emotional stuff in the background?


bearcountrygg on 09/08/2020:
You will get through this......I suspect that Dad likes to cause chaos...for him it is probably sport. Very much like 2 year olds who throw a fit....at first it works...but when the boss says to herself...hmmm...I will ignore the fit....so 2 year old steps it up....until it works again......on and on.....only when the 2 year old accepts that it will never work ...will they accept the new norm. ( but then they may start doing dangerous things for attention).....at that point placing him in a inpatient situation will be necessary. One thing that is an option may be a senior citizen group home ....( my father in law was in a few of them...( he also didn't behave very well and would get kicked out).....BUT...there are lots of people there..other residents plus care workers....he got attention and in the last home he actually was well liked by the workers.....he got attention from all directions....it freed up my sister in laws to live their own lives...they still would go get him for family time and return him later that day....it ended up working for all of them. ( I will say that there were 5 kids in their family)...the girls helped their parents in their old age and 2 of the 3 boys kept their dad working for many years before...so 4 out of the 5 were actively occupied for a long time in helping them. I know as an only child...( I know you are too)...that it all fell on us...all of it...no one to help you take a break...no one to talk to...BUT..there is a positive there too...also NO ONE to have different opinions...so we got/get to make decisions...it does allow us to think things over and decide what would be best for both parties.....Dad may need a group home or nursing home..( I will say that a nursing home is the most expensive and opinionated of the choices)...group homes are privately run...small usually about 6 residents....( we dealt with both)....BUT...In Michigan..there are a lot more older women in senior care of all kinds...then there are men...some homes have only women here...and some are mixed...it was harder to locate group homes for a man...but it happened...( 3 homes)....so you do have options...and if it is all too much it is an option. I feel what you are going through...every time i read your your Dad posts it brings back memories of what we dealt with....also when it comes to food...there is a stage in dementia/alzheimers where they eat obsessively...my FIL went through that...to the point that he fought with my sister in law over a can of CAT FOOD...he wouldn't put down 2 handfulls of food to go down the stairs and he fell......sometimes it's just best to look for other options. ((((HUGS))))

happy-1 on 09/08/2020:
Augh. I am so grateful that you shared this with me. I have been so tired that I can't think so I haven't found a caregiver group for peer support. In your responses I can see how it would make a huge difference. I will raise it in my priority list.

It's not even as bad as Alzheimers and dementia. He's just always been like this.

Yes, it is definitely attention seeking-behavior.

Right now, my problem with getting my dad into care is that I am in a catch-22 of that there is a ton of work I need to do to get away, back to work and live independently, but there is so much work I can't get through the parts I need to do to be on the critical path to get back to work.

I made a project plan with dependencies and invited the professional organizer to it. I'm hoping she can untangle it all and help me onto a better path. This cannot be how I go down.


grannyannie on 09/08/2020:
I think everybody is stressed now and arguing and unhappy. Hope things improve.


Donkey on 09/08/2020:
A very good idea to analyze why this time was different, causing your derailment. Isn't it funny how sometimes we can handle it, and sometimes we just go off the deep end....

I think you're looking away the essential factors - especially sleep and nutrition. I hope that you find clues or pointers that help you in your journey.

I don't have words of wisdom like the other commenters above. I just want to encourage you to try to get back on the track as soon as you are able.

(((hugs)))


thinkpositive on 09/08/2020:
I understand as I’m a caregiver as well and it is stressful as you try so hard to be upbeat. Unfortunately not everything is measurable. It’s the stressful events that come up that we’re not prepared for that can knock me off my plan. Take care,


bearcountrygg on 09/09/2020:
I see what you are saying HAP about income and not working...any type of care rather it be nursing home or group home would eat up much of the income....and would leave you with a predicament. With the pandemic situation there may not be as many options.....is there a seniors group around you that may take him for a couple hours a day a couple times a week there? A friend did that with her ex husband she was caring for....( they charged by the day only if she took him there....( kind of like a daycare for adults in need....they kept him busy there...he made friends.....and it allowed her to do some errands easier...or just have some quiet time by herself.



happy-1 - Sunday Sep 06, 2020
(Week 2 of 9/2020 60 day challenge cycle stubborn m)
Weight: 226.6

Getting back up on the stubborn, uncooperative mule that is taking care of my health.
 

Sooo tired in my bones. Writing here to start my day and get motivated. Everything can change right now.

Here's how the 30 day free challenge went.

Weeks 1-3 I spent pulling my routine together... Time studies, etc. I figured out what my daily pattern needs to be. I booked online yoga classes to give me something to show up for. I setup Alexa routines to get me to them on time. I blocked out productivity times on my calendar. I made a project plan for getting my dad squared away. By week 4, I was up on time to have some coffee, eat breakfast, clear the pets out of the way, clean their stuff away, and put my yoga mat down. End of week 4, drama with my dad started.

He "had to do mom's eulogy at the park by Labor Day, or something terrible would happen. He was terribly unwell. He had stage 2 pressure sores he wouldn't show me that he was supposed to get home health for but didn't get started on time because he didn't pick up the phone or return calls (I got this in place, but not until the following Monday). Friday he started shivering and shaking. Home health wasn't going to be here till Monday, the nurse advice line said he had to be evaluated for sepsis and should go to an emergency room. He wouldn't go but looked scary so I called 911 and had paramedics pull him out of his bedroom and evaluate him. They said he needed to be watched over the next several days for any further signs of sepsis. Next day he said his foot was infected. same drama cycle. Nothing real. But he got me back to fetching and carrying and hopping for him, doing one favor that turned into 200 and left me sweating and gasping like I just did cardio.

We still haven't made it to the park for him to do the eulogy.

I'm thinking he didn't like me being on a different time schedule and putting restrictions on him and what he could get and when (only available between 11:30and 5 for requests)... and his illness weekend was actually a little emotional blackmail and crying wolf to get me back under control. 

In any case, took me 2 weeks to get back on track. So I am catching up to the next challenge cycle 1 week behind, but I am up at 4:30am on time. Too tired for 6AM yoga. Need to get meals for the week setup, the house cleaned up, and a second night of an on-time bedtime. New habit for today is to make golden turmeric paste.

Yoga tomorrow. 

Never miss a monday.

 

 

 

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/06/2020:
I'm so glad you posted. I've been thinking about you this past week, mostly in the mornings, wondering how you're doing. Are you affected at all by the fires?

I am glad that your dad was evaluated for sepsis. That can turn south very quickly. I suppose that while he's manageable, you'll manage (sort of). Until he's not manageable any more.


bearcountrygg on 09/06/2020:
Sepsis and bed sores are nothing to mess with...they turn very quickly......had a sister in law in the hospital last summer with sepsis and they weren't sure she would survive it....and she is in her 50's.......my Dad and father in law had bed sores....and it was so sad .......It is a lot for you to deal with......((HUGS))


Donkey on 09/07/2020:
Forget what I said above. I completely missed the gem in your post.

YOU FOUND WHAT WORKS!!!

So life got in the way and derailed you for a bit. But for a while, your plan was working! Which means that you know what works, and you can always come back to that. (((hugs)))


Horn_of_plenty on 09/07/2020:
So! Weeks 1-3 sound...SUPER PRODUCTIVE! and we all know, well at least i do!, what a great planner you can be when you write down so many unsurmountable tasks (way more than i ever want to do in a day!)

that's some serious stuff with your dad. Please let u know what his updates are :) I am thinking kind thoughts for BOTH you and him.



happy-1 - Wednesday Aug 26, 2020
(Week 3 of getting back on an uncooperative mule)
Weight: 226.6

It;s 7:45pm and I'm in bed! Everything hurts and I want to die, but I did not commit any murders. 

I would tell you what my father said to me today but it was such a horrific caricature of crazy I've already blocked it out.

I was up on time but I did not do any yoga today. I had extra AM chores to get ready for the home health nurse, then I had to get the stuff out of the garage. I broke a lightbulb over my head and I am ok but my clothes are not. I need to figure out what to do with them soon. Then the caregiver came, and it really isn't a break but it is extra hands. Then I had to go get a new shower curtain. Then the home health nurse came. Then I brought in my dog, which sounds simple but is a process.

I may not get to do yoga tomorrow, I promised my dad I would take him to a park at dawn so he could read his eulogy to my mom. Yes he died over a year ago. Yes we've been fighting about it that long. Why? Because I have back, neck, and shoulder injuries, but he thinks I will push him (300+lbs, plus oxygen tanks and a medical backpack) there in a rollator over high tread asphalt. He's too cheap to pay for a scooter, even a rental. Forget bringing a caregiver. I'll take him there before it gets hot. He'll push his own rollator. If he can't get back to the car, we will call 911 or hope for some kind strangers. I don't think telling him to figure it out and I will see him at home is an option.

I bought a fresh spray can of sunscreen, which is basically poison but if he gets stuck at least I can spray him down.

At least I ate on track all day and did not fall off.

Dad's ice cream sandwiches sing to me with their sweet siren song.

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/27/2020:
((HUGS))


Donkey on 08/27/2020:
I'm so sorry. I can see that you are trying really hard, in a very trying situation. I hope this morning goes well... or at least that you can get your dad out and in the car again, and home.

I really give you props for sticking to your meal plan through all of this.


Horn_of_plenty on 08/27/2020:
yum to ice cream sandwiches!

i know how you feel. take your time. you pushed really hard, like donkey says, so take a rest and then keep on! you are doing really well.


legcramps on 08/27/2020:
Sounds like it was quite the day. I hope tomorrow goes well!


Maria7 on 08/28/2020:
I hope you do not injure yourself with pushing that heavy a load. Bless your heart. Take care of you.


thinkpositive on 08/29/2020:
Is it possible that he could get an electric scooter through Medicare if his Dr prescribes it?


Maria7 on 09/01/2020:
I hope you have had a good day today.



[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 Next Page ]