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happy-1 - Friday Nov 23, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

I did it! I got the bed down in my old bedroom! It will take another session of lifting heavy things to sleep in there, but the bed is down and the door can be closed. Maybe I will do more tomorrow. I had to take 2 flexeril last night after I drove my parents to and from Thanksgiving with my dad’s friends... slept 9.5 hours and woke up too foggy to do anything or go anywhere. I told myself I’d just move 3 boxes... that’s all I had to do today... but I just kept going and next thing I knew I had it down.  

I think sorting out clutter to rid the house of excess consumerism and impulse purchases is a great way to spend black friday.

—-

Mom’s response to me finally feeling well enough to do that project... Your bed can’t be there, it is on a terrible wall for feng shui. You will hear every noise. You will get every bad bathroom smell. I replied god forbid anyone should feel good about anything they have accomplished for even a minute. I have done all I can do today. This is as far as I could get.

My dad’s response was “so are you going to sleep in here now? I said no, it needs to be safer for an earthquake. I’d get hurt or trapped, but I can work on it more tomorrow but right now I need to rest my neck. He started fussing. Your neck, your neck... I’m tired of hearing about your neck!

Whatever happened to good job?

 

—-

Stumped for a good date idea for sunday. My turn to plan something. I’d like to do outdoors in the sunshine someplace relaxing but it’s high winds and he doesn’t have a windbreaker or wind blocking pants. 

—-

8:30am - lara bar, 2 dark chocolate squares 

12pm - skipped

1:30pm - a whole frozen thin crust pepperoni pizza, mostly because I was starving after 5h of moving stuff around and this was about 850 calories. It’s not very big.

3pm - another luna bar, despite the fact that I meal prepped yesterday and have chicken kale salads waiting???? Just too worn out to eat. Shower only sort of helped

5:20pm - Small chicken pho at the good pho place. Out of dog food and had to run out to buy more to make up. Realized that I was too in need of a break to be out... stopped off for some dinner. It feels good and human to be out again.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/24/2018:
Well, i'll say to you, GOOD JOB! nicely done getting your bed down to your bedroom! not an easy task!

pizza sounds good, i'm craving microwavable / frozen comfort food today too!!!! and i might just have some stuff (i do!) in my fridge for lunch! i even have pizza :)

yeah, i see you ate the luna bar instead of the salad - sometimes a salad is for when you aren't starving and tired...the luna bar is a good pick-me-up when you are down / tired / don't wanna digest and chew a lot of volume :)

happy-1 on 11/25/2018:
Hugs. Sometimes we need a little comfort food to get through the day... and the night.


Donkey on 11/24/2018:
I'll say it too: GOOD JOB! In fact, GREAT JOB!

It's good to get out of the house and be amongst humanity. I think that's why I set up these little errands for myself on the weekend, to get out and be with other people, even if I'm not necessarily interacting with them directly.

Have you thought about cannabis oil for your pain? (without the THC) Our associate attorney rubs some on his knee in the morning to be able to function. His secretary (one of the nicer co-workers) uses it for her dogs chronic pain. I think we're at the point of considering this for my husband's pain...



happy-1 - Wednesday Nov 21, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tried to break through my inertia today. Not a lot of luck but tomorrow is a new day. Mostly ate on track. Bought a 1 month unlimited pass for yoga at a studio closer to me I can walk to if my neck hurts too much. They open again on Saturday. 

—-

Can’t wait to see kickboxing instructor again on Sunday. He works this saturday.

—-

5am up walked dog to park. 

6am coffee, protein shake 

9am - eggs/ham/peppers/spinach/sweet potato 

1pm out - salmon salad, falafel 

6pm spaghetti lean cuisine, 1/3 a frozen pizza

9pm blueberries, 2 spoons of yogurt, 2 tbsp granola 

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/22/2018:
Happy Thanksgiving, Happy!

I really wish I could fit yoga into my life. Why is this so hard for me to do?

Kickboxing Guy - is this the smoker? I forget. I'm so bad :(

happy-1 on 11/22/2018:
Yeah. It’s a tradeoff and changeable... It’s been a long time since I’ve had even easy good friends to spend time with on the regular and he’s just such good company it’s not worth bailing over.

I can’t seem to do yoga at home... only if I go to a studio... but it’s changed my life and vinyasa burns a ton of calories.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/23/2018:
healthy eats, happy...sounds you are def on the road to being very much back on track...i see you are hanging out with this fitness instructor !? ;)



happy-1 - Tuesday Nov 20, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

219.5 today. The scale is laughing at me.  

Sorry I have been MIA. Holy moly 6 days! How did I go that long without DD? Must have been the new muscle relaxers making me too foggy to track or post. Anyway skipped them last night because I just couldn't take being foggy anymore. 

Today is a good example of this quote from Castaway... 

“I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in.” 
― William Broyles Jr.

Things the tide brought in:

1) I am officially a size 12. Bought 2 pairs of sweatpants and a pair of jeans. Nothing fancy, just cheap basics... but they made me feel a million times better.

2) Had a second date with the hot kickboxing instructor. He took me to a matinee and lunch. We met up at 10, he went back to work at 4... and it wasn’t enough time. I could literally have spent a week hanging out with him. We lucked out on the table for lunch and got a perfect view of all the boats in the marina. We also walked along the canals. It was perfect weather and there’s nothing better than good company on a beautiful day. 

3) Something to look forward to... Dog sitting for Christmas! That will be nice. To have some downtime.

4) Got home before my parents and had an hour to sit in peace and quiet with my dog.

Hope springs eternal.

---

Things I ate today:

  • 7:30AM - 1 scoop protein powder and espresso
  • 10AM - Meal prep tray of a 2 egg/uncured ham/peppers and onions omlette with a little sweet potato and 3 cups of spinach
  • 12PM - Skipped
  • 3PM - Large chicken soup at El Pollo Loco, water. I forgot they add tortilla strips. Ate them anyway.
  • 4PM - 2 packets peanuts
  • 6:30PM - 4 mini baked egg rolls, 1/2 cup brown rice, chicken, veggies, teriyaki sauce (possibly too much sauce)
  • If I am still hungry later I will eat an apple and some peanut butter.

No idea on the calorie count.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/21/2018:
Nothing beats having good company to spend time with :)

Dog sitting for Christmas - lovely!


Horn_of_plenty on 11/23/2018:
We've been missing you here! sometimes i get foggy and don't wanna post / comment either! LOL...glad you are back!

yeah, i wouldn't hold off the tortilla strips either...love anything "tortilla" tasting...nachos, tacos, wraps...ohhh yum!

Sounds like a mighty nice date :)

and congrats on feeling better and fitting into a size 12! you've done a great job here since you started, losing slow and in a way that you'll learn to be your best self and keep it off!



happy-1 - Wednesday Nov 14, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

Grrr... Getting after it. Did lots of worthwhile things to be a functional adult again. I can do this. For the tally... A bunch of housekeeping things to get ready for the water to be turned off for 2 days tomorrow (city maintenance). Then I womaned up and handled personal business I have been slacking on. I am working every day to be worthy of the last 2 guys I met and was *almost* good enough for.

Although... It should be noted... I did get a nice good morning text from the crazy hot kickboxing instructor. But he has not made plans to see me, lol.

Did not keep track of my food today... getting a little lost without Rise so I need to restart that... Maybe next month. Breathe. One foot in front of the other.

—-

9:42pm... in bed. Dying for the kickboxing instructor to text me again but guess not.

Here’s what I think I ate today... 

B: 350 cal oatmeal, protein, nuts and fruit + seed mix and grated ginger

Snack: Peanuts 

B2: protein powder and espresso powder, only drank half

L: 1/2 chicken breast, bbq sauce, seeet potato, butter

Snack: 2/3 of a frozen pizza 

Snack: Strawberry lara bar with 1 ghiradelli dark chocolate squares

D: Chicken thigh, rice and seed mix, 2 cups broccoli with butter 

 

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 11/15/2018:
Wait...no water for two days straight!?

grated ginger! how cool. did you grate it yourself...? i have large pieces of ginger at home, haven't decided what to use them for, yet.

your foods are awesome. so healthy, so tasty! nice job Happy - you are getting it wayyyy back on track 100%

happy-1 on 11/20/2018:
It was better than I thought it was going to be... They only had it off overnight and now I am set to change that bathroom faucet!

Ginger... I put it in the food processor and then freeze it in water to make ice cubes (nutrients oxidize otherwise) in a silicone ice cube tray with a lid. Then I can just drop a cube or two into recipes. I buy it in bulk to save. Plus I probably go through a couple pounds a month.

I fell off track a lot. Need to pull it together.


Donkey on 11/15/2018:
No water for 2 days??? What the heck??

Hey, are you being affected by the fires at all?

happy-1 on 11/20/2018:
Only with asthma, personally. Friends are.


graindart on 11/15/2018:
Funny how priorities change. If I had to choose between various things to give up for 2 days, I'd give up running water before I'd give up the internet now. (needed for work purposes)

happy-1 on 11/20/2018:
I’m kind of with you on that.



happy-1 - Tuesday Nov 13, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

219.5... YAY. I'm not going completely off track while I get my paperwork together.

Spent the day contemplating moving out. Friend from church needs a roommate and I offered her a temp sublet for a month or two so she can find someone... but it turns out she’s not renting the whole room by itself... she’s doing a sharing setup with multiple people in one room. She’s also trying to rent out her couch. Basically as many as 6 roommates at a time in a 2 bedroom condo. It sounds like escalating crazy and I don’t think it’s a good idea. She also doesn’t want anyone who is dating as a roommate. That’s not going to work, lol.

---

Deleted all of the kickboxing instructor’s digital trail. It won’t work out... He doesn’t have his own place and I am on my parent’s couch still... and I’ve pretty much wrecked my life... so I’m not competitive enough. I’ll text back but I won’t bug him first anymore. He’s got more than enough going on without my complications.

I need to give myself a hug, get up and get back on track.

Got a lot done today. Real progress. Feeling pretty good about that. Onwards and upwards.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 11/13/2018:
If she's open to trying it out on a short-term basis, I think the month-long "stay-cation" sounds like an excellent idea. You might learn a lot about yourself during this sabbatical.

happy-1 on 11/13/2018:
Hugs. Couldn't hurt, right?

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
Not going to work out... She’s looking for someone to share the room so she can rent it to multiple people


horn_of_plenty on 11/14/2018:
I agree with Donkey, it could be a nice "staycation" and good change of pace for you!...but wouldn't do it long-term :)

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
Yeah, but at least I know I am ready to go when I do find the right situation. I guess when my neck got back into alignment so did my priorities and ability to make decisions


Donkey on 11/14/2018:
Oh my, I didn't realize that's what your friend had in mind with renting out. No, I don't think that would work... at least not for me.

I'm sorry to hear about Kickboxing Guy, but I trust that you're making the right decision for yourself. GOOD!

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
Yeah... Discontent may be the rock upon which change is leveraged, but I have learned from OOMLG that I don’t need to invite extra. I can’t seem to delete my online dating profile and give up hope... but it’s not the best time for me to be dating


graindart on 11/14/2018:
Multiple people that are unrelated and don't really know each other trying to live in one room? I don't think I could handle it, unless I didn't own anything and worked 15+ hours per day and just needed somewhere cheap to crash at night. And it would have to be really cheap, because with that many people sharing a room I doubt it would be very quiet at any time of day or night......

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
I did it when I had a 90% travel job... It was cheap beach living, and basically like summer camp or a travel hostel... but that was fun and we all had real jobs with a few super hot teachers and fitness instructors thrown in. I have no idea what she’s going to do in an inner city area recruiting from a very conservative innercity evangelical church. I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot of crazy.

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
And also I have a feeling that now that I did the CERT class, I’m going to be changing to a church that does the local CERT team or runs a tutoring program so I can be a free math tutor. I wasn’t feeling so great before so I wasn’t up to tutoring but I feel better and I’d like to get to know my neighbors.



happy-1 - Monday Nov 12, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

No weigh in today... Not enough sleep and forgot to do it. I did get back down to 220 over the weekend. Fell off track a bit with sleep, eating and exercise Fri night - Sunday... But I am back on track today. Got up at 3am and couldn’t get back to sleep... but I walked my dog to the park, drank lots of water, ate my oatmeal, and next I will bike to the store to get my dog her favorite bagels.

Made some progress yesterday on paperwork. Getting back to being a functional adult.

---

6:30pm. Spent the day not terribly productive, except for 2 dog walks and a bike ride. Cannot get guy from Friday night off my mind. He is literally occupying all the available space in my brain. Those must be some pheromones... Or it was the secondhand nicotine. Geez. Who was OOMLG? What was so great about him? I don't remember. Something something. What did he even look like? Seems hazy.

Fighting off the urge to down an entire pizza to bury inconvenient emotions.

One foot in front of the other. Logging here as I go for "virtual" company as I conquer paperwork tasks that are between me and getting to know a super tall, super hot kickboxing instructor that thinks I'm adorable.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/12/2018:
Getting some exercise there...that's good.

happy-1 on 11/12/2018:
one foot in front of the other


Horn_of_plenty on 11/12/2018:
As long as you are back on track, that is what matters!

happy-1 on 11/12/2018:
Hugs! Never give up!


Donkey on 11/13/2018:
Play it cool :)

happy-1 on 11/13/2018:
Too late... I was too nerdy and showed that I like him too much... but that's ok. He is a smoker anyway. Big ego boost that I really needed though!



happy-1 - Saturday Nov 10, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

 Had a fun date tonight. We met up for frozen yogurt. Nice to go out with someone who actually likes me for a change. I’d see him again. He’s a big, good-looking guy and pretty good company. Catch (in addition to others but it is all a trade off) is that he is definitely more than just an occasional smoker... And that’s a little... gross.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/10/2018:
Nice that you met an interesting guy.........I can only say one thing...and that...there are no perfect people out there...so there will always be some give and take.....But happy that you guys got together!!!

happy-1 on 11/12/2018:
We’ll see. At least I had fun. Who knows?


Donkey on 11/10/2018:
I'm glad you had a good time!

Ya know, I hear ya on the smoking thing, but take live in the moment with this. I'm a non-smoker, but I'd take a smoker & have someone to do things with over being lonely.

PS I keep forgetting to mention this but your bikini picture - WOW!!!!!

happy-1 on 11/10/2018:
That’s what I figure... Except there’s a while-you-are-making-out taste, followed by a worsening on-the-drive-home taste that brushing, flossing, Listerine, and tooth bleach just did not purge and I ended up eating sweet potato fries that were burned from dinner but I had forgotten to clean up just to be able to trick my brain that it was that instead so I could go to bed. I could do that for a couple of months but a lifetime...

Thanks! It’s amazing how bodyfat percentage matters more than weight on the scale.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/10/2018:
smoking thing is bad. and soooo many people do not smoke anymroe....fine to date him, but it'd be a dealbreaker for me for sure. as it only leads to illness and sickness.

happy-1 on 11/12/2018:
I feel you there. Wasn't in his profile.



happy-1 - Thursday Nov 08, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

Fell behind on commenting and reading logs... Will get to that over the course of the day. So glad I have DD and folks here to help me "think out loud".

Having an "overwhelmed", "irritable" and "short tempered" day that started last night and is continuing today because I haven't done the personal life stuff I have needed to do the past couple of weeks, plus I have this dull, constant pressure in my neck. Giving myself a hug and getting back on track.

OT today. I didn't do any of my homework so I called and asked if I should still come in, and she says yes. I want to bail on my PT appointment today because A) every time I have seen him he gives me a 3-4 day headache and B) I don't think our teamwork is there. I definitely get the sense from him that he doesn't think I am going to actually feel any better and seeing me is a waste of his time.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

---- Where my time is going...

Yesterday I spent the rest of the day working on my app idea for my portfolio (5+h), then about 5, realized I needed to fix my classpass account, so I could go to Yoga but couldn't figure it out and got overwhelmed. 7 realized I was hungry and my dad came out looking for food... Got into friction with him*... So I gave up and took my dog for a walk... Which was smart. When I came back, I spent the next 3h making food, washing the curtains I had taken down, setting up the dining room, feeding my parents, cleaning up from dinner, putting the other half of the chicken on and then putting it away in single servings. Got to bed about 10, but couldn't get to sleep till midnight.

At least all my food choices were healthy and on track.

This morning I woke up with my alarm about 5 and should have taken my meds but I was too groggy and hit snooze till 6. I got up, showered, dressed, and started picking up more of the mess**, trying to figure out what to eat... because I had a protein shake and oatmeal but really wanted eggs... and got into conflict with my mom because I asked her to do a research task***. My dad came out and started making eggs so I asked him to make me some too and the whole thing turned into an out of scale conflict****...  I took over making eggs and toast*****, fed parents, and at that point I just started responding "I need a time out" to every request and question. 

Somehow they survived the next 3h without my help. I gathered my thoughts, took out the trash and the recycling bins for collection, and started sorting my paperwork. Also wrote this post.

11:16 now, have to leave in 30 min for OT and PT. Not sure it is worth the driving risk, time and gas. Going anyway.

At least all my food choices were on track.

---

* = He wanted to eat right then not in 30 min. He wanted to eat together in the dining room, but it wasn't set up yet.

** = It's a hoarder house, so mess just drifts around, like islands of trash in the ocean... I take chunks out of the islands and make them smaller, but they are ever-present... also when I am overwhelmed or dealing with a parent/dog tantrum, I make a mess while dealing with another mess... endless cycle)

***= My mom won't let me fix the bathroom sink without a plumber to call. It's been over a year. I asked her to find the number of a plumber she wants to call. She got angry that I wanted to fix it because she feels like she has no control.

**** = There was a pan from the chicken soaking overnight because the foil tore and things got burned on and he didn't like that there was a messy pan... He wanted cheese for the eggs and I don't buy cheese anymore so I didn't have any. He wanted tomatoes, but when I pulled out the tomatoes they had gone bad and I wouldn't let him eat them because he got sick off a bad tomato a couple of weeks ago... He couldn't remember when, so I said, "Remember it was my birthday and you got really sick from that tomato so we didn't do my birthday?" and then he couldn't remember and felt bad so he bailed on making eggs and so I had to make them.

*****= While I made eggs, he found more things that he thought I should take care ofI am gathering electronics for recycling and he thinks they are valuable and should be sold on ebay. Nobody wants a broken printer. He was going through the pile and talking about how they are worth something. Then my dog started doing something he got anxious about. The dog is fine. Nothing was wrong. But it was more than I could process at the time so I shouted "One disaster at a time!" louder than I meant to... it instantly feels like I kicked a puppy so I feel worse. 

 

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/08/2018:
Your interaction with your Mom reminds me of a disagreement I had with my Mom..only it was over having her roof checked.........it was no fun at all. There we are...trying to take care of them because they can't do it for themselves and then we end up being the bad guys....

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
Yeah... no idea what to do about it all.


legcramps on 11/09/2018:
Oh my goodness, I want to give you a hug <3

You will get through this. You are doing a great job. You show us everyday how strong you are.

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
Aaaaaaaaaw. Thanks for the pep talk... I really needed one today.


horn_of_plenty on 11/09/2018:
yes, i get the same feelings as you when i'm not finished with certain tasks that sorta affect me personally or have been looming for awhile but i've been literally too busy to do! there comes a point that you just have to put everything aside (like at work i put my work aside) and just do them here! ex- pay bills online

happy-1 on 11/14/2018:
Yeah... bu I'm a professional procrastinator. The procrastination monkey in my brain likes to get in the way... and the only thing that chases it away is the panic monster...

See Tim Urban's Ted Talk...

https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_urban_inside_the_mind_of_a_master_procrastinator?language=en



happy-1 - Wednesday Nov 07, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

223.3. Still up but I think it is sodium and the 2/3 of a small frozen pizza that is sitting like a rock in my tummy.

Feeling a billion times better today. Not sure if I am more productive... but I feel more together.

This took 5.5h:

  1. Wake up. 
  2. Take meds.
  3. Make and eat meal 1... espresso protein shake... wait for fog to lift.
  4. Make bed.
  5. Gave dog pain meds and vitamins. Changed her bedding. Hormone balancing stuff may be starting to work. She didn't pee last night. 
  6. Showered.
  7. Make meal 2... oatmeal. Realize it won't work because it is steel cut oats and I didn't set them up the night before and they will take time to soften up. Make everyone breakfast instead. Pancakes, sausage, apple cranberry compote. 
  8. Deal with dad's tantrum over me not paying enough attention while I am cooking. Deal with dad's second tantrum because the dining room isn't back together yet... that part of the rug was extra wet and is still drying. Deal with dog's tantrum because I am making pancakes and sausage and it smells good.
  9. Serve parents.
  10. Eat.
  11. Put away 4 sinks of dry dishes.
  12. Wash all the new dishes.
  13. Wipe down all the counters.
  14. Take a 30min break to rest my neck because Legcramps says I'm not being lazy if  do that. Set Bearcountry's timer because I am taking a limited break.
  15. Get inspired to use a no code app platform to "think out loud" about my pricebooking app idea... that I just can't get out of my head to think about other things. Did a little lite research.
  16. Get inspired to install updates to my computer... which will take an hour. Time to get up.
  17. Clean the microwave. (Cleaning the rugs made me realize the kitchen and bathroom need a deep clean too.)
  18. Made lunch... turkey burgers, kale slaw with cranberries and sunflower seeds, sweet potato oven fries.
  19. While lunch cooked in the convection oven... Cleaned the toaster (horrifying).
  20. Packed 6 kale and coleslaw salads (Which is realy only 1 day of veggies if I was eating enough veggies... I don't know if I can actually eat that much kale... But Graindart says if I am only 2.x lbs from the 100lb mark I should power through and achieve it. Which means a whole bag of kale salad, down the hatch.)
  21. Ate lunch.
  22. Washed all the dishes
  23. Put on real clothes.
  24. Wrote DD entry.

Is that a good use of 5.5h?

In other news... no texts from OOMLG. Because he's Out of My League Guy... and not really interested, just lonely. Super fun reminder that I'm not good enough for someone I really liked. As DDP says in his Motivational Monday... Discontent is the foundational block for change.

New candidate popped up yesterday on JustOkCupid. Tall tattooed skinny 40yo who manages a small apartment building, teaches kickboxing, and doesn't drink (a little AA he says, good for him). Seemed to think he'd get rejected because he's not drinking and was in AA. My take on it is that everyone at 40 has something they are trying to reset after... no matter what. Besides... It's not like I have a lot more to offer than he does right now. 

But you know... After I woman up and pay my bills this week, face my GP appt next Thursday, unlock the key to losing 60lbs, am as hot as Jennifer Anniston at 41ish because of my new yoga obsession and dedication to clean eating, release my fabulous pricebooking/nutrition app with the inspiring story of a woman tech CEO who after a neck injury and various health issues used her struggle to come up with an awesome app to help other people in the same chicken/egg battle bust through and achieve inspiring results... And make a billion dollars... and become a foster/adoptive mom... and run tough mudders...

I'll be totally out of OOMLG's league. And tell him... I don't know... you live an hour south of me... You're not a billionaire... Plenty of fish in the sea.

Originally I posted an ASCII art of a middle finger. But I'm trying not to swear and class up my act. So I took it down, gave myself a hug, and replaced it with my birthday bikini pic for Horn of Plenty:

 

 

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/07/2018:
Love you suit......Nice picture!

happy-1 on 11/07/2018:
TY! I think this is the first pic of me in a swimsuit I've been happy with since I was 5.


horn_of_plenty on 11/08/2018:
wowwwwwwwwwwwww you look AWESOME girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! looking GREAT.

the suit fits your body perfectly to the T!

also, your list is VERY detailed ! lol, good job keeping track of EVERYTHING you did!

i tend to want to list everything here i do in a day, never have, ....you beat me to it!

happy-1 on 11/08/2018:
Thanks. Trying to figure out where my time is going and why I'm falling off track... as Graindart pointed out... only 2.1 lbs from a milestone.



happy-1 - Tuesday Nov 06, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

 219.7 yesterday but 223.1 today. Aaargh. But it is probably sodium because my mom took me out for pho last night to say thank you for cleaning the carpets.

Missed GP appt this morning. Wasn’t ready to go first thing AM and just fell off track. As OOMLG says, give yourself a hug and help yourself get back on track. So I am. Rebooked for next thursday. Washed 2 more sinkfuls of dishes. Took a shower, blow dried my hair, put on a nice outfit. and worked on reassembling the house from carpet cleaning.

Breathe. Relax. Unclench. Om. All things can be managed and put back together. 

I should get out of the house for 2h, per OT instructions. Unclog my brain. Proprioceptive input to help my brain focus. Auto-reflex desire is to go to the 99cent store and get a burger but I shouldn’t drive... neck is stiff from carpet cleaning. Bike maybe.

—-

Ended up spending the day reassembling the house from carpet cleaning. Part of it is that I just can’t think when there is clutter... And it was way worse than normal because I moved everything around to flip the rooms and get beds and furniture away from windows so there is just a lot to put in place... But mostly it wS to distract myself from kicking myself for missing the GP appointment. 

Eventually went with my mom to Aldi’s to get out of the house. She drove. I was a good passenger and just kept my eyes closed the whole time. Came home and brain kicked “on”. I think the OT is right. Out of the house first thing AM whether it is productive or on task or not.

 

Also... What is the big deal about Aldi’s? It’s all packaged foods?

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/06/2018:
Nice of your Mom to reward you for all of your hard work!


horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2018:
One thing at a time Ms. Happy...and try not to overdo too much !keep up the great work on your part to living with your parents and helping clean the home!


legcramps on 11/06/2018:
Nice that you cleaned the carpet, and nice that Mom took you out for dinner to say thanks! Good bonding time! Make sure you get enough rest from all that cleaning.

happy-1 on 11/06/2018:
I thought cleaning was active rest?


legcramps on 11/06/2018:
Ah, herein lies the eternal debate. Doesn't matter to me if you're cleaning the floors, doing yoga, or doing some kind of high-intensity exercise. Active is active, and we work all kinds of muscles when we are active, muscles that need time to recover after being worked. If I haven't played ball all winter and then I go out and play two back-to-back games, even though it's not "high-intensity", my legs, my back, my arms - they're gonna be sore the next day because i'm using muscles and movement patterns I haven't used for awhile. In the end, if you're sore, rest! And if you're not - well, then keep on keeping on! :)

happy-1 on 11/06/2018:
Thanks, that makes sense. I feel like if I don’t move or do anything I am wasting minutes I cannot get back... Like if I am not tired enough to sleep, I should be doing something positive.

happy-1 on 11/07/2018:
Thought about it more. I think you're right. And I have to consider anything that works my neck as active right now. Including sitting up.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/07/2018:
I totally agree about active being active :) meaning, cleaning my apt is soooo not a "fun" active, but it's active :)


Donkey on 11/07/2018:
I love Aldi for packaged foods. Some of their fresh produce is good too. Great place to pick up dairy.

happy-1 on 11/07/2018:
Yeah... I wandered through that store and literally thought to myself... wow... I would get a red flag on all of this from the nutritionist on Rise... It''s all inflammatory foods that cause tension headaches. I don't eat any of this stuff any more.

My Aldi purchases were chicken breasts, a pound of raw ginger, a bag of kale salad, and some celery. Also 2 frozen pizza.



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