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happy-1 - Monday Dec 20, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 250.0

Monday 12-20-2021 5:22 am

I can't believe I lost an entire day Saturday to a chiro adjustment and Sunday to dealing with a cut on dad's hand and updating my planner template. It is a lot more useful though. I can start tracking progress back to 9 consistent productive hours daily over a week. Like pushups. Be relentless.

Breathing deep and focusing. My intent for the day is to move forward.

More snacks again last night. Just so hungry before bed. Cold weather? I dunno. Maybe broth will help.

Progress as of today: 67 lbs lost so far, only 90 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
5:51 am done writing… Super hungry. Having trouble focusing and getting up and dressed for a run. Too cold to get up and start moving. Things are sore.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
6:20 am. I nee a morale boost. Working on the challenge. Starting with checking what I already posted, then updating the game balance.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
7:30 am, paused to check on dad.

8:30 am-9am helped dad call the nurse, started breakfast before I realized it would take more than the time I had.

9am - Therapy

10am - back to working on challenge

10:45am - checked on dad

11 am - Coworking login. supposed to put away everything and do paperwork now. ugh. self control

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
Stopped to help dad with bandage, had problems with a website. that took up 40 min. Did get 1 appointment rescheduled and 1 piece of mail xeroxed, but focus is just not coming together today the way I want it to.

12:10 pm... stopping to nuke food and eat.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
12:30 - printed calendar pages

12:45 - doc office call

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
1pm call done... coworking over.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
I didn't get much done... but I think I need a break to regroup a little. Hard to even focus on taking a break.

(Meal at 12:10 was chicken and veg)

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
2pm break over. I really don't want to do anything, but hey. time's up.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
2pm break over. I really don't want to do anything, but hey. time's up.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
2:11... too soon. sitting back down again. I think I need more coffee. Or calories. I should total my calories today and see if I ate enough.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
4pm - just found out that I have to clean my dad's butt sores 2x a day, 12 h apart. #$%& me.

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
5:49 pm - Trying not to have a panic attack

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
While I wait for a system update to install. My screen is flickering.

I figure step 1 is to get the financial papers in order tomorrow when I am sharper. I didn’t get enough REM last night. I’m wiped.


horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
i haven't forgotten about you xo...

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Hugs


bearcountrygg on 12/20/2021:
I was looking at all of the monitoring watch type things yesterday on line and noticed that they seem to come with some sort of monthly monitoring charge.......I was mostly interesting in counting steps....any suggestions?

happy-1 on 12/20/2021:
What’s your budget?


horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
Sorry about blowing your fast yesterday but the food looks good that you had after !!

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Inch by inch… Hopefully meals will start looking as good as yours.


horn_of_plenty on 12/20/2021:
It’s so easy to get distracted / involved in just one acitivity during the day. I hope everything is better with your dad’s hand…. Sometimes things just take longer than we want them too! Oh how I can relate !!!!

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Right???? Augh


bearcountrygg on 12/21/2021:
I don't really have a budgrt for the item itself....but more of a desire to not have a monthy payment assiated with using it.......don't want another monthly fee as in ( phone, tv etc)....I would like to buy something that does not require that.

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Ok…I’m super confused then… I’ve never heard of a fitness tracker that comes with a monthly fee


bearcountrygg on 12/21/2021:
ASSOCIATED ^^^^^^^


bearcountrygg on 12/21/2021:
Okay then,....I will look at them again....most of them I looked at involved alexa.......and a monthly program......Thanks!

happy-1 on 12/21/2021:
Whaaa??? Oh you were looking at the amazon ones… not those… I’ll look tonight since I should write an article for the challenge anyway. Tell you tomorrow.



happy-1 - Sunday Dec 19, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 250.0

Sunday 12-19-21 8:54 am:

Fell off the fasting horse again last night. A keto ice cream bar, cheese, crackers, kale dip, carrots. Probably because when I was done with packing supplements at 7 last night, I was feeling deprived and stayed up watching Netflix instead of going to bed at 8. It was Saturday night. Why was I home not having fun and living like an old person? Especially since I didn't do my plan for yesterday... I went to the chiro and then that was it for the day. Poof. Gone.

It was very satisfying to sleep on only one pillow though. I've been stacking pillows to sleep comfortably as my neck got stiffer and stiffer. Also I have been spending 4hours winding up to face my day and today I am awake and alert after only 1 hour. Scary I couldn't tell it was my neck till friday.

Sugar too high last night, but lower overall than when I took Glipizide with meals. Plenty of energy to take dad to lunch or do photos today. 
 

  
 

I'm not ready for christmas. I haven't even bought cards and paper yet.

Progress as of today: 67 lbs lost so far, only 90 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
Inch by inch… 9:15 time to get up and say good morning to dad.

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
10:26 have made and had breakfast, washed all the dishes, had a little break in between helping dad get a bandage off with adhesive remover. It’s going to be a project. Setting alexa timers for helping him every 10 minutes

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
Finished updating planner and researching a van rental

11:20 went to check on dad, tried to get the grocery ads and ruffled his feathers

11:25 started crunching time management numbers from notes in this log.

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
1pm stopped to put away dishes make food and eat

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
1:30pm done eating

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
3:45pm - Stopped working on planner. Checked on dad. Cut on his hand is a problem. Tried to make muffins but flour turned.

4:15pm heated up a frozen dinner. Finished eating by 4:30

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
6pm… I think I just spent an hour and a half dealing with the cut on dad’s hand. Did chores while he blustered and I wait for a call from nurse advice. Sitting down till the call comes. I washed dishes, wiped counters, took out trash, swept floors, and vacuumed.

Note: Maintained the boundary that my bedroom door is always closed. He wants me to keep it open 24x7. No. This is my sacred space. If I am in here, I am not on duty. He is affronted that I won’t keep it open when he needs help with a bandage. I said he should have let me call nurse advice for him this morning.

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
Have I really lost an entire Sunday to a little tidying and working on my planner template? My goal was to see where my time was going and if I have reached 9 productive hours yet and can look for a job… was that really valuable? I should have gotten daylight today. All I did was schlump around like a fat blob.

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
9pm. Was about to go check on dad, but had presence of mind to setup bedrime first.

Just realized I didn’t take any of the supplements I am supposed to take today.

happy-1 on 12/19/2021:
9:30 in bed


Donkey on 12/19/2021:
I've had that "Saturday Night" feeling before. I often feel that way on Friday nights as well. I think that's one of the reasons why I went to the Christmas play rehearsal too... Something "exciting" (not really) to do on a Saturday night.

(((hugs))) Cheese & crackers = comfort food? Or just something you're craving lately? I'm having grilled cheese sandwiches for Christmas Eve dinner.


Donkey on 12/20/2021:
9:30pm bed => GOOD JOB!!!



happy-1 - Saturday Dec 18, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 250.0

Saturday 12-18-21 8AM:

Started this morning with a shame hangover from yesterday. I was so close to a perfect day in terms of health mangement, time management, and helping my dad. I used every minute of my day as planned and correctly. I made time for him and consistently helped him the way he wanted help for 2.5 hours. I did the the right things at the right times. I stayed strong all the way through 7:30pm... then when Freedom blocker turned off Netflix... I turned off Freedom blocker and turned back on Netflix. I was in the middle of packing supplements... I had run out of packed stacks and needed them for today. I had worn myself out a little doing so much more than normal so I just didn't have willpower and self control in reserve. Plus my neck is killing me, I had a sore throat and swollen lymph nodes and was worried about getting sick, running the 10k workout on Sunday was too daunting. There was a little chaos in there of not knowing exactly where I was on calories at lunch (the meal wsn't in Cronometer's database)  and the 5pm yoga class I had counted on for a workout to turn off the hunger switch when fasting starts didn't work out. It was a replay of a class I haven't seen live and I couldn't follow it. I ended up staying up too late watching Netflix and eating after my fast started...1/4 chicken breast, half a block of pepperjack cheese, a bag of keto crackers, and two keto ice cream bars. I knew I shouldn't be doing it but I was just too worn down and I "crashed".

So I'm going to take that as a sign I'm getting stronger, pushed the envelope a little too far, and had an inevitable outcome. I'll tighten things up and do better next week.

And actually, considering everything, my calories weren't that bad. 850 or so over what I burned. My sugar was high overnight, but not unrecoverable. I still got REM even though I fell asleep before I could put the CPAP on. Skipping the Glipizide even though I ws eating after my fasting cutoff resulted in a higher body battery score so I will be less run down tonight and do better.

Progress as of today: 67 lbs lost so far, only 90 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
Onwards and upwards, inch by inch, pebble by pebble.

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
8:40 done logging. Not ready to start my day. Cat is very warm and comfortable. Would be a shame to move her. And it’s a day off..

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
9:11 AM: Gave up on trying to strong arm my way through my plan today and called chiro to see if I can squeeze in. See if this confused, trapped feeling is my neck.

Made keto pancake mix in toaster, took a shower, ate, tidied up.

10am: dressed and ready to go. Laying down for 5 min. Cat has been all over the place yesterday and today. Very stressful.

Added anothe 5 to my timer.

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
11:15 chiro adjustment. Omg SO MUCH BETTER. That trapped panicky anxious feeling was definitely my nexk. Precursor signals to pain.

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
11:30-12, Daiso, didn’t buy anything

12:20 home, made dad food.

12:40-1pm ate

1:15 laying down with neck on heating pad.

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
1:30 bought dad a usb eye mask for Christmas

2:15: everything hurts like I ran a marathon. Took supplements. Had a snack. Keto pancake mix. Rare afternoon cup of coffee.

3pm. Feeling better and ready to do stuff. Cat is passed out on my lap. Feels mean to get up and move her

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
3:30 pm, evicted the cat. Keep standing up and having to sit back down again because everything hurts and is sore. Wish I hadn’t told dad I’d look at photos with him today. Aspirin.

4:30pm. Still up and down with soreness. Wish I could dig into Chinese takeaway. Off limits make-your-own deal now. There is a 5pm yoga class. I should do that. I should really do that.

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
5:30pm checked on dad. He was sleeping. I got to not do photos and pick up a prescription

6:00 Dad woke up, he has a cold. Off the hook tonight. Got him kleenex and cold meds. Hopefully it’s just the same sore throat I had yesterday and will be gone tomorrow. Was hoping to get breakfast out. Had an egg roll and an ice cream bar… sigh.

7: meds are packed for the week. New cpap hose is on. Next time I go to the chiro I go end of day and go to bed.

7:05 updating planner

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
8:30 - vitamins packed away, cat box changed. Attempted to clip claws and got sliced up. Will try again tomorrow


bearcountrygg on 12/18/2021:
It is so hard to be a giver...especially when it feels like you aren't being appreciated.....Be kind to yourself HAPPY....You did have a good productive day...no shame there!!!!

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
A giver? How am I a giver? I feel like I spend most of my time on myself by myself.


bearcountrygg on 12/18/2021:
You are a caregiver.......your Dad relies on you everyday! That is exhausting....I also was a caregiver to my parents for over 7 years in total and it is completely draining.


Donkey on 12/19/2021:
I too feel that you are a giver - A LOT. Please do not reprimand or discount yourself for doing things and taking time for yourself.

I'm glad the chiropractor was able to help with your neck. Interesting observation that it's better to go towards the end of the day -- I say this, because I have never used a chiropractor before.

You know, now that you have mentioned this, I'm going to try to be more aware of when I am pushing my own envelope too far. This may be happening far more often than I realize.



happy-1 - Friday Dec 17, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 250.0

Friday December 17, 2021 6:11 am:

Yesterday I went to the track to do the first run in the 10k training program. I srtuggled to get up and out of the house for 4 hours and then when I got there I still didn't want to run. I also didn't want to use the public restroom. I sucked it up and got out of my car, snapped a photo of the beautiful day to put on my motivation wall, did what I had to do, and did the run. I walked more than I ran... 5 min walk, 10 min run (which I ran/walked), a 10 min run it said was optional so I walked, and a 5 min cool down walk. I banked 30 hours recovery. I was pretty down about that... considering canceling the 10k program on Garmin and setting it back to a 5k. When I got home, I looked at the picture... and found that the universe was sending me a sign... However I ask you... was it telling me to use the public restroom or train for a 10k?



Yesterday was a success in terms of sticking to my plan for the day, fasting, staying within my calorie budget, managing stress, and not staying up late watching Netflix. My time management did fall apart between 6pm and 9:30pm when I got home from the endocrinologist, but I didn't eat extra snacks and bread after dinner, so incrementally better and better. My sugar overnight is significantly better than the past couple of weeks (and I remembered to calibrate today). However, there is a hole in my cpap hose, so I didn't get enough REM 2nd day in a row... new hose gets here tomorrow. 

  
Trip to the endocrinologist yesterday yielded a couple of vital things... more Enalapril to get me through to January when I see my GP, insight that the weight gain from Moderna might be the Glipizide, and that if quitting Glipizide doesn't result in weight loss instead of weight gain, I need to see an exercise physiologist to find out why my VO2 max and weight were so severely impacted by the Moderna. I'm getting much better results from docs by showing them charts and graphs like here are my calories, hydration, and workouts. Why am I gaining weight? Make them do their damn job.

Nobody can answer my question about whether the impact of Moderna on my cardiovascular fitness and weight offsets the benefit of a Moderna booster. Ugh.

So no more Glipizide unless I catch a cold. Just diet, fitness, and relentless consistency from here on out. Relentless consistency is the hard part... Dad guilt is persistently, quietly there like rats in the walls chewing through wires, scratching to get out. Yesterday the triggers were his call to me after my run ("Where are you? Are you taking me to the grocery store today?" I did not say no, I am not taking you to the grocery store until I am no longer responsible for your daily care... I said I have to do work for the endocrinologist appointment I have today.), his sadness that I picked groceries up on the way home he wanted to go and buy himself, his demands after dinner for me to do business tasks right before bed that would have made it harder for me to fall asleep, his expectation that I would drop everything and come talk to him instead of getting the laundry finished and trash out before bed... And then my need for additional detox time that delayed my bedtime by an hour... I know better than to be out in the main area after 7:30, but I was home late, ate late, and his warm house clothes needed a wash. The guilt at saying no and shutting him down just ate at me... I should be able to do these basic things for him. He'll get sicker and die before I can do them and I'll have the same regrets over how I spent time with my mom... And I don't see any other choice. I don't have a spouse or kid who will come pick up my slack and take care of me. I have to be healthy and functional and achieve if I want to see my mom on the other side. She never gave up, so if I want to end up wherever she is, I can't give up either. So I just sat on my bed with Pinterest reading motivational quotes till I felt better enough to put on the cpap, turn out the lights, and go to sleep.


 

Progress as of today: 67 lbs lost so far, only 90 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/17/2021:
Step by step, inch by inch, pebble by pebble, I will move the mountain.

happy-1 on 12/17/2021:
8-11am… worked steadily on phone calls. Break for a breakfast sandwich.

11-1pm coworking. A billion tiny things but all in the hot list envelope. Yay me. Break for a snack. Last 10 min spent putting everything away and setting up yoga.

1-2pm got dressed, washed dishes and heated up one of my dad’s frozen dinners. 1:45 let him know I was ready to help him after I am done eating. I ate in the living room while he got himself setup.

2pm. Still in chair waiting for him to be ready. I will face this. I will level up.

happy-1 on 12/17/2021:
2-3:15 helped dad with his stuff. There was drama, but I maintained boundaries and handled it.

3:15-4: Ran an errand for dad.

4: Made dad dinner. I had a thai chicken salad. This was probably over calories because I had 2 snacks instead of 1… but oh well. Tomorrow I will do better.

5: Actually did yoga. Well… tried to. It was a replay which means the other students weren’t doing the poses to look at. Too confusing. Gave up 10 min in. Next week I will plan better.


bearcountrygg on 12/17/2021:
I do believe you are doing your best!!! ((HUGS)) I think the universe sent you a sign to buy NIKE!!!!

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
Ha! They do have good jackets!


Donkey on 12/18/2021:
Reading about the Dad Guilt really spoke to me, not so much that I can relate (because I can't - yet) but mostly like I feel like I'm hearing you (on this) for the first time. I'm sorry if I've failed you as a sympathetic shoulder.

LOL Bear -- I think the photo means that you're doing the right thing, you're on the right path. It's not often one gets a checkmark from Above. Well done!

happy-1 on 12/18/2021:
You failed me? How so? What’s the expectation you have of that for yourself?

On the photo… Right???????? Ever read The Alchemist?



happy-1 - Thursday Dec 16, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 250.0

 Thursday 12-16-21 4:21am:

I pulled off a solid day yesterday of eating on plan, getting 4 things done, doing a dad day, coming home, getting fitness in (tai chi), and going to bed on time. In turn I am up on time this AM and ready to run. Clearly I need to listen to my cat more often. Mamas just know.

Upped it to 30 enalapril this am.

Weight is up to a disturbing 250lbs.

I did better on calories yesterday.

 

Progress as of today: 67 lbs lost so far, only 90 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 12/16/2021:
Nice job on having a lot of success as of late. i think if you continue this pattern, your weight will follow and turn downward :)

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
Fingers crossed. I hope it’s not a metabolic side effect of the Moderna.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
Fingers crossed. I hope it’s not a metabolic side effect of the Moderna.


happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
Also I think I need a second pair of running shoes if I am going to keep running in the rain!

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
And maybe a new pen for my journal.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
7am… too hungry to run. Eating first. 3-4 hours for windup? Augh

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
7:26 heartburn

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
7:40, heartburn over. Yay pepcid. Finishing breakfast

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
7:42 just realized I missed an Ot appt monday. Possibly due to an apple calendar bug. Aaaargh.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
8:25 at the track

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
9:12, done. Walked more than I ran. Need to drop back to 5k.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
And I banked 30 hours recovery.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
10:12 home from trader joes and post office. Discovered cool swoosh in photo of track this am. Sent to everyone I know.

Ate an eggwich

10:30 - resting. Cat is emanating approval vibes again. It’s a very distinct energy.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
Worked steadily 11-1:50 getting ready for endocrinologist and updating stats. They won’t be ready for this appt but they will be for gp

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
1:50-2:15 5mg glipizide. Rest before driving. Calories up to this point are on target.


Donkey on 12/16/2021:
From yesterday's entry: One of our local libraries has virtual Tai Chi. I've written here about thinking about trying it (back in the summer when the class was hosted outside). How do you think it compares to yoga, as far as benefits, how it feels, etc.?

I kinda like the idea of a 2nd pair of running shoes. I think it's a good idea to rotate the shoes you (I) use. It helps the feet (to have a new/different insole surface each time) and reduces the wear and tear on a single pair of shoes.

I think you did pretty good yesterday. Yes, Mama Cat knows best!

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
Um, I only did it 1x over zoom. It wasn’t a workout, per se. More like an attitude adjustment. I actually kind of liked it. It was at 5pm, which is the start of my fasting window right now… I think it distracted me from eating more after the cutoff, let the calories be “enough”, and helped me get to bed on time with the cpap.

happy-1 on 12/16/2021:
Especially considering that yesterday was a dad day which meant a day of wearing myself out keeping his toxic negativity at bay.


bearcountrygg on 12/16/2021:
I think Tai Chi sounds interesting.....and also something I can see myself doing now....and while it looks easy I bet it is a little more strenuous than it seems....Yup...Moms have eyes in the back of their heads!!! And they will usually be one step ahead of things in anticipation......Mama cat knows!!!

happy-1 on 12/17/2021:
She gave me warm approval purrs this morning. She knows when I am doing my best!


Maria7 on 12/16/2021:
Your cat is so SPECIAL!!!

happy-1 on 12/17/2021:
Ok… maybe she is. Isn’t everyone’s cat/kid/dog special?



happy-1 - Wednesday Dec 15, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 243.9

 Wed 12-15-21 8:20am:

Waiting till 9am to eat. Sticking it out by posting here. Inch by inch, pebble by pebble, I will move the mountain. I can do this. I do not need to eat right now. I can wait.

Anyone else have their weekly cheat meal turn into a chow down? Not binge eating… more like too big a meal. Yesterday was run and errand day. It was raining so I just ran anyway. Did 4 errands, a caregiver support group, car maintenance, and groceries. Plan was that cheat meal would be Costco ribs and salad, followed by a keto ice cream bar. I swapped the croutons for crispy chickpeas. Solid. Then I was still hungry so I had a single serving of high fiber pasta with some ricotta and frozen veg. Then I was still hungry so I had two brioche rolls with butter leftover from thanksgiving. If I had stopped there my calories in would have equaled my calories out for the day… but I had two more keto ice cream bars and some raisin toast with cream cheese. Meals before that yesterday were cottage cheese, berries, ratio bar, and a 500 cal cobb salad.

Augh.

The thing is... I was close to getting my sugar on track. It's been too high because I've been hitting the bread before bed. Guess that goes to the ducks today asap. I had burned it all the way down to in range, then ate wrong and drove it back up again. 2 glipizide didn't help.

 

Kept my body battery from charging. Garmin says to keep stress low. Haaa! Today is a dad day. 

Today's mission is to run. So possibly I should eat and get out there and after it.

At least I got REM. Beautiful REM.

 

Progress as of today: 73.1 lbs lost so far, only 83.9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
9am - just ate. I’d run but there’s a warm purring cat on my lap.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
I’ll noom while she loves on me, lol

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
9:11 - augh… dad anxiety starting because he has an appointment today. He caught me still at home because the cat is on my lap. He doesn’t want me to run because he doesn’t want me to get tired. &@$#. Of course I am running anyway. Why does this cat only sit on me when I need to get up and do something else?

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
9:38. Done with noom and logging calories. Cat says I should drink water before I get up and disturb her

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
9:42 - realized I ate extra because I only had half the calories I am supposed to at breakfast and lunch, then burned 600 more than I normally do. Sigh. I know better, just not in the moment.

Cat says I should update my planner before I get up and disturb her.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
10am. Cut the cat off. I must face the day

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
10:20am. Cat was right. I'm not running today. Tomorrow. She told me to eat more calories and clean up a little while I cook so I don't run myself into the ground again today. She also says I should do yoga so she can walk all over my body while I do it... the other participants really enjoy watching that. Isn't that fun? Maybe I can take this time to make some calls and do some paperwork before dad wears me out. It's almost time for coworking anyway.

Mama Cat knows best. What can I say? Always listen to the mamas.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
10:45am... Eating my keto hot breakfast and drinking water.

Also... How could I forget? The Ex-ish is continuing to bounce back from the weird agoraphobia he developed during quarantine and yesterday says he'd like to do the walk to look at Christmas lights he's been resisting since we met 3+ years ago... and would like to take me to the Christmas thing at the zoo. OMG! Him? Christmas? In the same sentence? YES!!!!!! He's been perking up the last couple of months and turning into the guy I knew was in there somewhere. How lucky am I to get to see that kind of change in someone?

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
11 Am - Realized I need to sweep the steps to take dad out. There was a ton of debris from the storm. No good deed goes unpunished. On the way back in he snarled oat me over expenses.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
12pm - Quit working. Managed to do 3 critical tasks in 1 hour of coworking. Yay cpap and better sleep.

12:45 - dressed and loaded up. I even packed myself a lunch

1:10 - got dad to his appt

2:30pm picking him up

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
3:45 - home. Got gas. He tried to get me to take him to the grocery store. I pulled over until he gave it up then started driving again. Ws still able to beat traffic and… per Garmin’s instructions… avoid stress.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Which I did by reading motivational quotes about health and fitness on on pinterest at him. Endlessly.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
5pm, put away all the food and did Tai chi. Apparently that was the right move because my blood sugar is trending down and the cat is blinking at me slowly with waves of approval. Always listen to the mamas.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
6:30p... Done reading and commenting on logs. Honestly ready to just go to bed already. Can I do that? Tired.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
7:30pm gave up and went to bed.

8:30 pm lifghts out can’t sleep

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
9pm… starting to crave a snack. Getting back up to make tea


Maria7 on 12/15/2021:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Unless you have ADHD. Then you have to go back to the house 5 times to get things you forgot. Then the journey of a thousand miles begins with a thousand steps and a very cranky Ex-ish. ;-)


bearcountrygg on 12/15/2021:
Have a good one.

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Why thank you! You too!


horn_of_plenty on 12/15/2021:
Despite some bumps in the road yesterday, I am most pleased to hear your REM is improving !!

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Like a dream come true.


horn_of_plenty on 12/15/2021:
Usually I run into a semi-binge if I wait too long between meals to eat, if the meal doesn’t have enough veggies and I’m really hungry, or if I make a meal that is not at all what I really want and I go for more after

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Mmmm... Veggies and hummus.



happy-1 - Tuesday Dec 14, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 243.9

Tues 12-14-21 8am:

Sluggish start this morning. Sugar is too high. I broke my fasting window last night and ate 6 seaweed snacks, 2 pieces of raisin bread, a brioche bun with butter, and 3 servings of pepperjack cheese. Meals after breakfast were kind of a mess of whatever I coould grab and eat because I was out of cooked chicken and the dishes needed to be done before I could cook more. And I don't have much in the freezer because I need to defrost it. Also, I stayed up too late watching netflix.  Why? I had brain fry at 12pm-ish and with the high sugar I just ran out of energy to keep going and thinking. I also tinkered around with the enalapril to find the right dose so I took 40 and I think that was too much. I started this morning with 25 and I'll check my bp in an hour or so to see how it is after meds and coffee. It's just so much better though. That horrible lead brain and body feeling is gone. I did ok with productivity considering... I sorted paperwork, updated my to do list, cleaned up a bit, cooked a chicken curry for the week, did two loads of laundry, and ordered some supplements. I tried to start estimating the cost of my giant stack, got horrified, and stopped. I've been slacking on packing and ordering because it is getting really expensive, plus it's a lot of pills to swallow. Gag.

And unfortunately the calorie binge drove me up a pound. REM is really starting to recover!!! A major win.

  

It is raining today, so I get a little slack to get myself back on track. I will wait for 9am to eat, then I will go run. By then Costco and Food 4 less will be open and I can go grocery shopping and cook chicken  before the caregiver support group meeting. I will try to start fasting again tonight. 
 

Step by step, inch by inch, pebble by pebble, I will move the mountain. The mountain is me.

Progress as of today: 73.1 lbs lost so far, only 83.9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/14/2021:
Also, I spoiled myself a little and bought a $3 bookmark on etsy that matches the rest of my planner ;)


Donkey on 12/14/2021:
Aw that's nice about the bookmark. I feel that we have to treat ourselves to little treats here and there :-)

I'm curious to know how you got to 3500 calories as your intake amount. Did you set that or did the Garmin (or other app) do that for you?

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Cronometer. It’s the only accurate calorie app out there. Unfortunately, My fitness pal integrates with Garmin. It’s crap.



happy-1 - Monday Dec 13, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 243.9

Mon 12-13-21 1:30pm:

Blah! Brain fry! Need to reset my brain. I got a slow start this morning but have been productive since 8:45 am. I am proud that I managed to remember that I need to start using my day planner again.

The CPAP is getting my REM sleep up. The Enalapril is way less awful than the Losartan. Spending today figuring out what the dose should be, then hopefully back to running tomorrow. Counting today as a sick day. Therapist says I sound sharper. I should.

 

So far I used a coworking session to update my to do list and open my mail, then clean up after. Major improvements.

Got a little tripped up last night... I ate cheese and crackers after the fasting cutoff window. Not sure if it was the glipizide, the dinner, or a ton of stress from a fight and a guilt trip from my dad. Was 34 calories over what I burned. Need to keep an eye on it.

Progress as of today: 73.1 lbs lost so far, only 83.9 lbs to go!

legcramps on 12/13/2021:
That's great news about the CPAP!

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
It's amazing. I can't believe so many doctors said a CPAP wouldn't help me. It does exactly what I thought I would. Freaking A.


Horn_of_plenty on 12/13/2021:
so, so happy that you are sleeping better since it's such an important function!

even though you ate a little much, it seems you are still close to range. overall, sounds like you are doing very well :)

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Inch by inch, step by step, I will make it all fall in line.


Donkey on 12/14/2021:
I think this post has a lot of positives. I'm pleased to see that the move away from Losartan is working for you.

I think you're being a little hard on yourself regarding the cheese and crackers. (((hugs)))

happy-1 on 12/15/2021:
Again, I can't believe so many doctors told my Losartan was better than enalapril and it couldn't possibly be that. Freaking A.

Better to be hard on myself about the cheese and crackers than spend another day not working.

Hugs.



happy-1 - Sunday Dec 12, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 243.9

Sunday 12-12-21 5:22am:

Good morning beautiful people. It is a great day to tackle a workout, a project, or a serious snuggle. Who's got 2 thumbs and is back on schedule with waking up at 4AM? This girl. Mama Cat is so happy with me for waking up on time, I was loved on for a solid hour and a half. Full on cat food commercial mode. It did mean I didn't take my stack on time, forgot to check fasting sugar and blood pressure before coffee though. Oops. I can still weigh in though. When she gets off me, eventually. I think she's going for a marathon cuddle.

I'm probably perky because I didn't take Losartan or Glipizide yesterday. Also, Garmin says my training status is Recovery. I think the last time I was too exhausted to move for several days, I woke up feeling better and it said it was recovery. Body Battery was up to 77 this morning.


 

Yesterday was my first day of working on weight loss. I didn't eat badly, I just barely moved. Today I discovered that Cronometer will calculate your thermogenic effect of food in your calories burned... cooooooool. So I actually ended up doing ok.

 
 

Also, I called my friend Thursday. She said she doesn't need help... That not having funds or a place to go isn't the issue, then she hung up. I'll call her for coffee this week.

Today I do a benchmark run, pick up meds, go grocery shopping, attend a Zoom memorial. Try to inventory dad's meds, restorative yoga. Might be too ambitious... good thing I printed my planner pages. I'm already an hour behind schedule and I am barely awake.

Progress as of today: 73.1 lbs lost so far, only 83.9 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/12/2021:
I love that waking up so positive feeling. It might be the (lack of) meds, or maybe it's the CPAP? Or both? Anyway, gotta grab these mornings when you can. And hey, even if not much is accomplished, waking up feeling great, getting some kitty cuddles -- can't go wrong with that.

happy-1 on 12/12/2021:
Yeah, it was good to have a nice on-purpose on plan morning for a change.


happy-1 on 12/12/2021:
9:43am… was going to run, but not feeling so hot. Did 3 errands instead. Home to shower and hair before zoom call

happy-1 on 12/12/2021:
10am... The ugh... I don't wanna run feeling is high blood pressure. Glad I didn't run. Started enalapril.

11am... Showered, haired, makeuped, snacked. Waiting for Zoom memorial to start.


Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2021:
Hi Hap! i'm sorry i always seem to fall behind on your entries. it's not on purpose!

seems me, you & donkey all had zoom calls this week!

cat love and snuggling is worth it....so what you forgot to check fasting sugar...haha, cat lovin' is soooo the way to go :) xoxo

i also showered and blew out my hair before zoom! :) haha


Horn_of_plenty on 12/12/2021:
for yesterday, you have a good point...sometimes you have to listen to yourself more than any program....especially if the program is telling you to like double your mileage!

thanks for listing the pumpkin bread and all the delicious food for me to think about....mmmm....i think i need to make pumpkin bread soon!



happy-1 - Saturday Dec 11, 2021
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 243.9

 Saturday 12-11-21 8am:

Have tried writing this post 3x. I keep swiping in Safari and wiping out my entry. 

Mysteriously low on REM and high on apnea events last night. 

Garmin says today is race day. Wtf Garmin? I'm not ready for that! That's 1.10 longer than my longest run. Let's repeat this program and incrementally improve. How about a 2pm yoga class and a 10 min benchmark run? Compromise!

Set smart goals for reducing brain fog with east west doc yesterday. I committed to losing 6lbs in 3mos. I feel like most of my roadblocks have been removed and I can start working on weightloss. Just need to pick up the enalapril today and tackle the switch. Hopefully I will be less tired.

Ate extra snacks after dinner last night. Oops. I was just so exhausted. Sticking to waiting for 9am to eat. Starting the fasting window again today. 

Focus. 8:11am. Too hungry to get started today. If I start with clearing space for yoga, I will at least be moving around a little and ready to do yoga on time. I also need to go grocery shopping for dad. To work towards my smart goals, I need to redo my daily calendar template and alexa alerts (meal times changed).

8:33 am... Hungry. Can't think. Pinterest has too many food pics. I want Starbucks and pumpkin bread. I'd really like a giant meat omelette smothered in cheese with toast, potatoes, and pancakes... but that's not on my list today. Sigh. There's just so much to be consistent with to move forward, I feel like I could break in half.

All this positive thinking just got me off my butt to weigh in. Garmin says I am down a few oz to 243.9. I'll take it.


Inch by inch, pebble by pebble. I will move a mountain. That mountain is me.

Progress as of today: 73.1 lbs lost so far, only 83.9 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 12/11/2021:
12pm… have gotten as far as making breakfast and moving some stuff around in my bedroom. Keep trying to watch tv and do things but my focus just isn’t there. Brain isn’t kicking on. Cat keeps fighting me for my spot on the bed. I don’t feel like sitting in my chair to work. Silly.

happy-1 on 12/11/2021:
1:15pm - updated my alexa reminders and my calendar template. Printing 3 weeks of it and putting my planner together

happy-1 on 12/11/2021:
4pm... tried to change the Garmin coach program to a new 10k cycle... In the hopes it will help me get to running the whole 5k. Somehow I broke Garmin. Will try again tomorrow and Monday, or call tech support for help.

4:48pm... Realized I had 12 minutes to do the last live online yoga class of the day and hustled myself into doing it.

6pm... Just finished a restorative yoga class. Normally I wouldn't even call it a yoga class, but it was about all I had in me today. Realized I've been all "I can't do that, was" because my neck is acting up since Thursday night and it's having a bigger effect than I realized. Time to get serious with the neck stretches.


Donkey on 12/11/2021:
Race day? I would be like, F that, Garmin - it's Sit-on-the-couch-and-eat-potato-chips day.

Good that you got your planner together. Now that is setting yourself up for successes to come.

happy-1 on 12/11/2021:
Ha! I went with restorative yoga. Pretty proud of that actually.

Having to print out pages for my planner is kind of a pain in the neck, but it helps because it's a template for everything I actually need to do in a day and track.

Now all I need to do is fill it in :-)



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