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happy-1 - Saturday Sep 08, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4


Was on-plan yesterday but gained a lb back. It may take a couple of weeks to get down past 221 again. Grrrr. Neck was fine but talking to that OKC dude on the phone wore me out emotionally and I was too tired to do anything. Stayed in last night and used a digital scale to pack oatmeal and snacks for the week... like they were dime bags in a movie.

Puppet dude had a bad low blood sugar episode after his run and I slept 12h and missed his call so he went home and to drive Uber. Why do I feel so out of it when I sleep a long time? I went to.bed at 9 last night... I should have naturally woken up about 5AM. My dad caught me still sleeping at 8am but I didn’t really move till 9AM.

Plan for today is to keep taking advantage of productivity streak.

1. Do some basics for functionality while working on getting furniture up on foam to clean the rugs. It’s hard because everything has another project in front of it... To put a bookcase up on blocks, I need to take the books out and list them on ebay, put the bookcase on the blocks, then put them back in.

2. Wait for the temp to go down and take my dog to the park and do a yoga video there. Just my dog, my phone and my yoga mat.

3. Buy and pack my supplements for the month.

4. Book classpass classes for the week.

5. Work on OT homework and notes.

6. Make more doggie dinners and our dinner.

I kind of run out of gas at 8pm these days... so 11 AM now... I can do this.


Also, I incorporated a cesar salad into pizza night for my parents and served that with boneless wings first before putting out the pizza. I wasn’t doing salads for them because my dad won’t eat dark leafy greens and iceberg has no nutritional value on top of which dressing adds fat and calories . Nutritionist says use salad anyway because it will trigger stretch receptors to feel full. I also served plain grapes for dessert. It definitely helped my dad feel like he had a full meal... but probably because I made up the whole bag of boneless wings. Still better than cracking open a second pizza, even if it was ultra thin crust.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/08/2018:
Good plans for today! And I agree with your entire approach to pizza night. Well done!

happy-1 on 09/09/2018:
Tonight I made chinese food and I stir fried coleslaw to go alongside after I browned the chicken. Easy add on veg!

graindart on 09/08/2018:
I can't eat pizza when I'm on-plan. I just don't have the desire to eat 1 or 2 slices and stop. Buffalo wings are one of my favorite things and we'll be having them tonight. Unfortunately on-plan means I won't be dipping them in blue cheese dressing tonight.

happy-1 on 09/08/2018:
I crave ranch. If you take greek yogurt and mix it with a packet of ranch dressing, it’s a good fake substitute

Maria7 on 09/08/2018:
Hope you are having a good day.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2018:
i know what you mean by getting emotionally / physically drained by talking on the phone to someone too long or similar scenarios even at work - keep your limits, next time you may want to decide beforehand how long you can stay on phone and simply hang up saying to him you have to leave the house & can't be talking now...set up limits.

BearCountryGG on 09/09/2018:
For me...I'm finding the more time I spend on the iPhone/computer...the less I actually achieve. For me it's busy work...something to keep me from actually doing something. If I'm not motivated......I turn the computer off and set my timer...and get busy......I can easily spend hours playing words with friends, surfing the net or looking for apps....and in the end...I have nothing to show for it.....so I have had to pry myself away from it...it's so addictive and I feel so tired yet I've done basically nothing......I've had to go back to my old ways...and just turn off the electronics and actually do the work.

happy-1 - Friday Sep 07, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

223.7. Still up from my low but working on it. Fell off my new “trying” streak last night into a bag of fair trade dark chocolate buttons... like M and Ms, but not killing the planet while stuffing my face. They are only in recipe-sized bags and I was going to make single servings but they didn’t make it all the way home. So starting over on Day 1 again. I gave myself this week off from workouts to do chores at home while my neck is still “working” and have managed to move the easy chairs out of my old bedroom and my bed into their place. I can’t remember the last time I was able to move something like a leather recliner on my own... let alone a bed. Kind of on par with the shock level a couple of weeks ago when I was able to put all my weight on my hands and walk my feet up to the top of the yoga mat... I totally am just astonished and shocked. Still a lot of work to be able to sleep in there but I hope to be off the couch and in my bed by the end of next week.

Currently celebrating at my favorite diner where I ordered a single cheeseburger lettuce wrap (instead of my former double per instructions from nutritionist on Rise) and an order of sweet potato fries with ranch (half of which I put in a tupperware container brought specifically for that purpose to cut calories without creating trash). Tiny changes.

Friday night. Have a date off OKC for froyo. Between now and then I am hitting the 99cent store for some white cloths to wash down all the walls... maybe the grocery store. No plans for the weekend other than church Sunday and Classpass yoga. I’m poking around the app store trying to find a meal plan, coach, and workouts all in one. I tried 8fit but it was buggy. Probably just a bad release so I’ll try it again in a couple of months. Maybe I’ll try the DDP yoga app at the park with my dog. I bought 2 Gaiam yoga blocks at Marshalls this week... A frugal buy at $4.99 each!

So weird and foreign to me to think “OK I will do this task now” and then just do it like I used to. Like a week now. I know I have a crazy high pain tolerance, but I can’t believe one tiny little “pop” at my skull joint makes such a difference. Had to reschedule OT appointment this morning so I didn’t get to ask her today if that was enough of something wrong to have made everything so hard. I had some neck pain after I moved my bed frame before I warmed up, freaked out, and rescheduled for Monday.


Talked to OKC dude on the phone... augh sounds sooo... exhausting. He’s also a musician... which means constant noise and partying. Puppet dude is running a 5K down by me so I will meet up with him tomorrow instead.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2018:
Nice job to get to prioritizing and schedule home chores and cleaning instead of the gym...i agree, it's hard to do both!

your food celebration choices do sound a lot healthier, nice job! and you can still enjoy a burger and fries! very good!!

good job on being frugal! for about a couple months now, i'm soooo the opposite. i've been buying the fitness home equipment and never recovered fully from buying flights, so i recovered the charges by using some of my savings...lol...

i always get more pain in the morning...it's good to move and stretch on your own. hopefully instead of OT appointments in the future, you can use the exercises you learn at home :) it'll save you the traveling time between home and the OT office!

happy-1 - Wednesday Sep 05, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Restarted my Rise subscription yesterday... had on plan eating all day. Went to bed early. Got up early. Still on plan and it's 3:50pm... AND I made a meal plan / grocery list for the week WITH MY MOM'S INPUT that got a stamp of approval from the nutritionist with the suggestion that I throw in some cauliflower rice to bulk up the meals.

I also put pen to paper for the meal planning app idea I had. I have been struggling with how to get people to pay for it... and I think I am gaining on that. Now I am taking a brain break. I will go on to tackle my to do list... that is perfectly organized with my post it system. Then I will go to yoga... because my clothes are ready and my mat is washed.

One small neck joint stood between me and productivity. Now I just need to strengthen my neck so it doesn't slip back.

Oh, and some micro-gifts for my mom... CBD oil and a pair of bluetooth headphones. I've had peace since yesterday. She's even been pleasant. It's astonishing.

Hammering out the kinks one day at a time.


Ran my app idea past puppet dude. He thinks it is amazing and people would fork out cash for it as a no-brainer. At least that's good first positive reaction.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/05/2018:
i've heard great things even from a coworker about CBD oil.

glad you aren't having pain...and yes, cauliflower is such a savior!

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
Yeah, pot was never really my thing and the thing about pain is it tells you when NOT to keep moving so I am not going for anything stronger than arnica and advil... but super glad the laws are changing for people who do have terrible pain.

BearCountryGG on 09/06/2018:
Glad your neck is feeling better

happy-1 on 09/07/2018:
Ty!!!! Big hugs

happy-1 - Tuesday Sep 04, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

224,6... Weight moving in the right direction again.

Went to dog sitting and had a good weekend... but also fell off the horse for a few days. Back to it today. Went to bed early last night, let myself catch up on sleep and got 8h. Had oatmeal for breakfast and traded in my half n half and chocolate syrup in my coffee for some chocolate protein powder and instant coffee in a shaker. About to take my supplements. One foot in front of the other.

The shake is actually pretty good over ice with a little extra stevia. I bought Sprouts Chocolate Whey Protein and it tasted funny at first but it’s growing on me. I also got the Orgain vanilla plant protein with superfoods in Vanilla for my oatmeal... just a spoonful to add creaminess and vanilla to my overnight oats. I made it up in my shaker last night at the same time I set up my overnight oats and supplements for the AM. I also just realized that I can start adding the tablespoon of coconut oil back into my oatmeal for the MCTs and fat burning. I like that now I can easily set up breakfast packets that don’t need to be refrigerated like the half n half or coconut creamer did... Trader Joes has single-serving coconut oil packets. Whole thing is very grab and go, travel friendly. Working very hard to set up repeatable habits.

Pact with puppet dude started last night at midnight. No fast food for a week ending Monday at midnight. First one to cave has to do a truth or a dare. I’m not “feeling it” but it’s just so nice to have a positive energy in my life, I’m hoping it just takes time. I had a bad night last night because I had my mom take a photo of me with my dog and I didn’t like how I looked. Granted I was exhausted and had my wet hair in a bun, no makeup, was wearing an old house dress 2 sizes too big, and the lighting was terrible but I just felt so sad when I saw it. I was so down I didn’t get anything done last night although I knew I would be too worn out to do much anyway and had just planned to go to bed early. I was also down because my dad wanted to go out for dinner, my mom said ok, then she sabotaged it. I felt like not getting him out for dinner was a personal failure... so it was nice to have that positive energy to get a little lift and go to bed early. Stay on track.

And I made a small incremental step towards getting control by using my epsom salt bath water to try to kill weeds in front of the house. I don’t know if it was concentrated enough to make a difference... but we shall see... Seemed a shame to not at least try :)

Today... A to do list a mile long... but the success of my weekend is that I have an organized to-do list.

And how could I forget to mention a minor miracle? I was relaxing while dog sitting and I felt the spine/skull connection point “unkink” on the left side... zero pain or numbness since. Well, except while driving. That’s agony. But just walking, working, or sitting? Just fine.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/04/2018:
that's a cool morning shake, great idea.

happy-1 on 09/04/2018:
It was actually pretty good!

BearCountryGG on 09/04/2018:
Keep on keeping on!

happy-1 on 09/04/2018:
Thank you! Like the old philosopher says... Never give up that ship!

Donkey on 09/05/2018:
I've utilized protein shakes on and off throughout this process. A very handy tool, if you can find one that tastes good to you :)

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
I'm working my way around them. This chocolate one isn't bad. A little bland but not bad.

happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 28, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Scale says 225.6... So why do I feel skinny? Time to take some measurements. I will have to buy a new measuring tape... last one tore.

Had an “old me” level of productivity yesterday... not on the level of the old me who went to college on her own dime, worked her way through school, and started businesses... but the “old me” who just told anxiety and panic to shut the **** up and handled it. I guess I am still in here after all and the OT is giving me the right track. Makes that $350 neck specialist she wants me to see sound a lot less expensive.

I forget how many days I was at yesterday without neck pain (although I wouldn’t say pain free, just bearable and not overly distracting. I have had to lay down each day at about 3pm to rest my neck)... But it kicked back in yesterday because I sat and did paperwork while at lunch and had my head tilted down..Thought I was going to lose my mind. Luckily I had already planned to go to restorative yoga with this instructor I really like off Classpass and had my yoga stuff ready to go... because I had that as a to do item in my new habit tracker for the night before. It was an amazing class, just like last time... and I really, really like her style. She gave me lots of corrections this time and I just felt amazing after. I teased her a little and asked her when she’s releasing her DVD. Anyway, the class was so fantastic, I am now on a mission to buy yoga blocks, the looped therapy strap, and a bolster like she uses in her class. Next time I will have to remember to ask her if there are any DVDs she likes so I can do it at home in betwen.


Calm, sleeping dog at my feet who very much appreciated her chicken thighs last night. There is a good sale on and I bought boneless skinless chicken thighs for doggie dinners to make up for her... pushed myself to go after yoga and didn’t get to bed till midnight, but it’s all worth it for my dog.

Still had a better night than puppet dude, whose cpap machine broke and he was too scared to go to sleep because he chokes in his sleep without it. He talks about all this weight he lost like it’s a massive amount but it’s apparently only 35lbs and not enough to make a difference yet. He found his old one this morning... I feel for him and I also feel like he lives in self-induced chaos at the same time. Claustrophobia, my friend. You’ve come to visit me again.


Ok... gathering myself for today. putting brain in order. I had the brainstorm of using little yellow postit notes to organize all my fluttering thoughts, then selecting the ones I need to work on and arranging them on a page. I then put the page in a plastic “project folder” so they didn’t fall off and took it around with me to do things. So easy. How did I never think of that before?

Evening update. I did not have the physical endurance to do the meal prep I attempted to do today. I started cooking about 10am and thought I would be done by 12pm. Actually took me till 6pm. I kept having to lay down and rest my neck, or it got too hot, or I got overwhelmed by clutter. I did finish the pantry reorg and pulled out all the stuff I need to use up and made sure lids were tight.

I don’t know that 8h of work (with too many breaks) was worth this amount of food:

- 3 breakfasts of eggs, turkey bacon and 2 pancake muffins

- 3 snacks of hummus, chicken, carrots and snap peas

- 3 lunch / dinner portions of chicken and sweet potato

- 2 sit down meals for my parents... lunch and dinner, plus a bunch of single serving dishes of my dad’s favorite mac n cheese

By the time 6pm rolled around I was just dying. I woke up fine but even with breaks to lay down, tiger balm and tylenol, I feel like i got hit in the neck with a baseball bat.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
sounds like a bad night for the puppet guy...glad he found his old machine!

and i'm glad you are continuing to feel much better with less pain. no pain makes for a much healthier and happier lifestyle.

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
Hugs! Yes. I just need to keep improving my diet and working out more.

BearCountryGG on 08/28/2018:
That must be rough fearing sleep without the cpap.

legcramps on 08/29/2018:
I'm sorry to hear that your neck pain is back; hopefully it won't last long and you can get back to pain-free (ish) days again soon. I think your food prep looks awesome; good job!

happy-1 - Monday Aug 27, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

my dog is asleep on my foot. Feels too happy to move.

Up on time today at 5! Proud of that. Last night I came home at 5 to take my dad out but he wasn’t in shape for it so I got thrown off. Couldn’t get my brain to change tracks and be productive and I was crazy hungry and hadn’t planned to make dinner for anyone so I wasn’t ready and had to figure out what to make which was really mentally taxing. I ended up throwing some beef I had vacum-sealed in the freezer into the instant pot with some adobo peppers blended with spices and got the most amazing shredded beef out of it. I had some leftover beans, spinach and fajita veggies so with some brown rice I had a pretty healthy dinner together.

Got into a small tussle with my dad because while they were eating I made up single serving trays for the week and my dad wanted thidrs but they were already in the fridge before they sat down to dinner... I was trying not to overeat because I was so fried mentally, I put away the extra before we started eating. I just pulled out a tray and nuked it and gave it to him but he got mad at me because he felt like I was silently thinking he was eating out of control. I was worried about his blood sugar and his leg... but it’s not like I said anything. He’s 330lbs and doesn’t move... Seconds aren’t needed but thirds definitely are a leg amputation waiting to happen. Super glad I signed up for volunteering to help seniors with herb gardens on wednesday. Maybe I will see people doing this right. Breathe. I can only control the things I can control.

Anyway when 8pm rolled around I still hadn’t done all the things I needed to, but I just took my sleep meds and went to bed. I would rise and conquer in the morning... and I did! I had breakfast, cleared away all the dry dishes, and started sorting and packing dry food and meal prep containers for dog sitting this weekend. I washed my yoga mats... all good things to do if not the critical ones.

I did waste time texting puppet dude about meal prep this morning. I feel for him. He’s diabetic and working hard to eat right and work out but it’s hard when you are diabetic and also trying to manage blood sugar. I think he’s having a lot of cognitive problems of diabetic brain fog due to high blood sugar. Plus he’s not managing cravings when he does have high blood sugar. He was having crazy huger and thirst (high blood sugar) so he hit panda express last night and jacked it up super high. Then he ordered meal prep containers on amazon. He says he wants to start doing meal prep like I do. I feel for him in my gut... So I sent pictures and texts as I packed my cooler for the day. It took a lot of extra time.

I am getting “flashbacks” of getting to know UDG and trying to help him and date him at the same time... Daddy issues. Can’t save my dad but maybe I can save this guy... ok... maybe this guy... wait no... maybe...

At least puppet dude is actively working out and eating right.

Ok puppy. I need my foot back. I have to start my day.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/27/2018:
Glad to hear that you and the puppet guy are still seeing each other.

Donkey on 08/28/2018:
Your dad got mad at YOU for what he THOUGHT you were thinking about him... wow.

Donkey on 08/28/2018:
Aside from that, it looks like you did well for yourself. (((hugs)))

horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
it's true, you can only help your parents so much...they have to change on their own will!

happy-1 - Sunday Aug 26, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

225.3 good downwards trend on the weight I gained back.

Day 4 no neck pain. Some numbness on right side. Yoga and weightloss should help.There are these acupressure mat and pillow sets on Amazon I would like to try. See if they help with the numbness.

Spending the morning at church to see my friend sing and then off to errands. I also booked a yoga class today at 2:00. Should be just enough time to do all 3 before coming home to make dinner. I will make some kugel (egg noodle casserole with cottage cheese) for my dad for the week and some broccoli beef or dinner. Healthified Chinese food is a big hit here.

I’m working on the habit tracker. I am trying to build so many habits that I am dizzy. And it won’t let you delete any.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 08/26/2018:
Good on being back on track. :-)

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2018:
You sound calm and quite content.....nice!

Donkey on 08/26/2018:
I agree, it seems as though some of the daily chaos has subsided a bit?

jasmine on 08/26/2018:
change is difficult.

horn_of_plenty on 08/27/2018:
lol, i would also feel dizzy trying to do too many things all at once!

you have great plans for today, very productive day! I am sure you will sleep well.

so glad you don't have pain!

happy-1 - Sunday Aug 26, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Day 3 pain free. Oh please let this be the new state of being for me. It’s such a nice change. I woke up early and cleaned the kitchen and straightened out a few things. Then I met puppet dude for a movie and had a surprisingly nice time. He looks at me like wile e coyote looked at the road runner and I understand that cartoon on another level now. I will say this, I tried to buy coffee because he got the movie and he wouldn’t let me pay. Nice change.

Another bout of insomnia though... I think 2:30 might be too late for caffeine for me.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/26/2018:
See....Chivalry is not dead!!! Sounds like a successful date.

happy-1 on 08/26/2018:
He’s a sweet guy. We went to a matinee of “Crazy Rich Asians” and walked around the mall in the A/C to get steps on our fitbit/apps. The fascination with astrology threw me... It just wasn’t what I expected to hear from a big, midwestern, white guy.

jasmine on 08/26/2018:
No pain is ever good pain.

happy-1 on 08/26/2018:

Donkey on 08/26/2018:
Fingers crossed on the pain! Sounds like a lovely day...

happy-1 - Friday Aug 24, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Pain-free day 2, except for exhaustion because I couldn’t get to sleep last night at all and then slept a couple of hours this morning. Not even any right-side numbness. Maybe making the appointment with the neck specialist scared my neck into releasing? It works when I call tech support... whatever is broken automatically fixes itself.

It occurred to me that I need people to “catch energy from” daily... that when I am around active people I am more active and productive so maybe I should try to do 8am class pass classes to jumpstart my cognitive energy. I forgot that part about inattentive adhd... that “activation” is the hard part. Starting your brain to even start the timer.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/24/2018:
Funny how it always seems to improve when the appointment is made......happens here too.

happy-1 on 08/26/2018:
If only car repairs worked that way too.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/25/2018:
Yes, i agree with you and BCGG, it's exactly when you make the appt that the symptoms go away...but, that's a good thing overall...keep them away! :)

I also struggle sometimes with my attention. Today i've kept most of my chores and activities to a minimum on purpose, to allow myself lots of wiggle time and low stress heading into a wedding tonight.

Donkey on 08/25/2018:
I completely agree about "catching energy" from other people. It can also work the other way, in a bad way, regarding people who need/feed drama in their lives.

Donkey on 08/25/2018:
How is your dog doing? Anything new with Puppet Dude?

BearCountryGG on 08/25/2018:
True...being around active people can pep you up for sure...I know the more I do...the more I want to do...and the more I sit around...the lazier I get.

jasmine on 08/25/2018:
Maybe the dog needs a nice long walk...getting out is good.

happy-1 - Thursday Aug 23, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Pain free day. Took advantage of it and took my dog to the park until she towed me back to the car. What would I do without my dog? I love shedding my skin for a little while and vicariously enjoying the sun and grass and breeze... Just being and being out and being together. Now she is curled up next to me and we are listening to my parents enjoying the lasagna I made for dinner. Well technically they are arguing about something. But that’s just them. Silence is scarier.

Discovered an app called Goals wizard to help you organize your habits and stuff according to your goals. I put all the habits in there I need to build and there’s more there than I can physically do in one day. I do something and then I need to sit down. I literally do not have the physical endurance to do all the chores and tasks I need to do. Maybe this is how I will get stronger? Ugh. So tired.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/24/2018:
After several days of pain and chaos, how nice to have a quiet, painless day. I'm very happy for you. What a relief!

happy-1 on 08/24/2018:
Right? Couldn’t go on forever. Had to be a break sometime. Thanks for the TLC when I was down.

BearCountryGG on 08/24/2018:
Pain free is always nice.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/24/2018:
It sounds like you and your parents are getting along wayyyy better as of late :) that's a wonderful thing! It's also wonderful that you are pain free today!

i get tired too doing household chores, they aren't fun!

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