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happy-1 - Sunday Oct 21, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Super glad to have DD today. I love reading and commenting when I’m feeling in need of inspiration. On week 3 of my head cold and skipping yoga and church because I am still coughing... a lot. Dad caught the flu today (not from me, he’s got a stomach bug). Poor guy. I brought him home a small thing of chocolate ice cream and now it is all I can think about.

Took myself to a movie just to get out of the house. It was “cognitively taxing” and I came back afterwards to lay down. I did accomplish buying earrings for sensitive ears though and I got another bookcase up on foam blocks. 7 more pieces of furniture to go.

I am rebuilding everything in my life right now. It’s a lot of work but I can do this. It is ok to take a nap.

——

Update: Took a bunch of breaks today. Did a lot of texting. Did some light cleaning in between. Not much but better than nothing and it all helps keep chaos at bay.

—-

ANOTHER phone call from OOMLG... How is it even possible that someone can be that hot, fun to talk to... and not into me? These Super Christian guys are so weird.

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Donkey on 10/21/2018:
Ooo may I ask what movie you saw? My son went on Friday to see Halloween.

Check out Simply Whispers for sensitive-ear earrings! I just made the mistake of Googling them to make sure they are still in business - and they are - and now my wishlist is about $200 long.

happy-1 on 10/21/2018:
House with a clock in it’s walls. It was actually pretty dull. I was so disappointed. Jack Black is on my 10 List... He’s a total undercover hottie.


Donkey on 10/22/2018:
Take breaks if you need them. Sometimes taking a break can lead to a more productive day overall. I'm glad you have a male friend, even if it's not the relationship you wish/hope it would be. I would love to have more diverse people in my life.

happy-1 on 10/22/2018:
Yeah, my friend says he is a waste of time, but it’s just so nice to have someone I can actually talk to... no “crap, there’s silence, what do I say next?” such a treat. I suspect he’s just being nice to old fat lady with the busted neck, but I’m being nice to him because he’s got stuff too... Hugs on the wish for more diverse people. I like a big mix myself. It gets me out of my own head and helps me solve problems differently.


BearCountryGG on 10/22/2018:
Being friends with people that you won't have a more personal relationship is good.....they may also introduce you to others that are more suited for you.

happy-1 on 10/22/2018:
Hugs. Love your positive mindset.


legcramps on 10/22/2018:
I sure hope you're feeling better soon! Being sick is never fun, especially when you're feeling like you have things to get done. Take it easy, and hopefully you're back in the groove of things very soon.



happy-1 - Saturday Oct 20, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

223.4=normal weight fluctuation.

Finished the CERT class and it feels like a minor victory. M's friend took a photo of me and I couldn't believe it when I saw it... No wonder my yoga instructors say I look like a completely different person... I look healthy! I'm standing in a line of people and I'm the same size as everyone else, no giant beer belly, sick/sweaty color, bags under my eyes, and no double chin. I still need to work on it. I'm thick around the waist, hips and butt... like the fat is literally burning from the top and bottom and eventually meeting in the middle at my waist. I'm wearing a cream sweater, my favorite Lucky Brand jeans... No bulges or anything. A few more pounds and I'll be hot again.

Ate whatever I wanted at the potluck and just went back to normal after. Also, I fell off last night and ate two pints of protein ice cream. They were within calories but nutritionist says no fake foods. Whole, unprocessed foods only. So Graindart streak Day 1 again.

Have a huge headache / neckache though. Chilling on M's couch and using her Internet to download stuff to my spare laptop so I can use it while my good one is repaired. Very kind of her.

Still coughing but not as bad. Yoga class is in my future. I want to go back so bad I think about it non-stop. I just want to listen to the nice ladies say soothing things while we stretch, burn calories and listen to music. 

 

 

 

 

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/21/2018:
Wow! you sound so pleased with your progress! keep up the good work, do not stop now :)

congrats on fulfilling your goals so far! always reach.

happy-1 on 10/21/2018:
Never, never, never give up.


graindart on 10/21/2018:
Seeing progress always helps give me additional motivation. It's when you keep depriving yourself with no visible progress that things get frustrating. Good job.

happy-1 on 10/21/2018:
This was actually a good coaching tip. Thank you. I was really down today because I skipped church and yoga due to coughing, felt isolated. I looked at some photos from the beginning of summer... I actually look 10+ years younger even with a head cold. Picked me right up! I posted them to my nutritionist to thank her for her hard work.



happy-1 - Friday Oct 19, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

221.0! Stoked to not be going completely off the rails while sick. Keep getting super hungry... and eating extra snacks, but all legal foods so day 2 of my graindart streak.

OOMLG has upgraded from texting at night to in-bed good night phone calls. If we hadn’t had the talk about how he doesn’t want to date me I’d think he was interested, but I think he’s just lonely and wants his ego stroked. It’s both thrilling to talk to him (soooo hot, gets math jokes, AND can one up me with them) and terribly depressing (doesn’t want to date me because I’m not wife material). I got him to confess he wears matching pajamas to bed. How very very LL Bean Boyfriend (http://yourllbeanboyfriend.tumblr.com).

Up since 6. Yay me. It is 9:30 and so far I have accomplished cleaning the microwave, dishes, laundry, picking up the living room, and finding index cards to make flash cards with. Feeling better so plan for today is to go to the DMV and study for my test on Saturday while in line. Goal is to get a third bookcase up on foam blocks tonight, and also make turkey meatball soup.

I feel badly that I stuck my dog in her crate this morning while I cleaned but I couldn’t take the screen door game one more minute... and it might be doggie dementia because she does it ALL DAY LONG!!!!! However, I am only going to dig myself out if I do not have to listen to the screen door banging today. I will walk her and do yoga at the park tonight. I am very proud of myself for doing a yoga track from start to finish at home yesterday. I focused, got it done, and my head felt better.

I can do this. Hug yourself and the furkid next to you.

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!


happy-1 - Thursday Oct 18, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Starting my streak over, Day1. Felt lousy last night after Costco so I hit the bag of stuff I set aside for the food bank... I had some Chicken Top Ramen, pocky sticks, and dark chocolate.

OOMLG says when I fall off the wagon for things like diet and swearing I should stop and give myself a hug because I fell off the wagon because I need to take better care of myself. What a fundamental concept I have been missing all my life. How did I not realize this sooner?

On the theme of doing better self care... I think 6 days is my absolute max without yoga. 7 days and the headaches come back. I suspect my neck will also un-adjust again if I don't keep moving forward. Maybe I want to go for yoga teacher training so I can internalize more of it. Be my change.

Also debating buying a smaller pair of yoga pants since my current pants keep trying to escape. Feels like a splurge. Maybe a reward for finishing tallying my spending for the year.

Saw a cool pin about a company with photo booths that scan you and then print out a little 3d statue. How motivating would this be for before and afters? You could scan and print yourself every few months and get a good look at what you really look like!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.interestingengineering.com/this-3d-printing-company-lets-you-scan-and-print-yourself

Today I am going to be kind to myself and not kick myself for not getting enough done. I am coughing a lot and still under the weather.  I know I must actually be out of it because my dog (who is a bit on the tough love side) is being my personal hot water bottle for my neck and she HATES that. I definitely am taking advantage and getting all the cuddles.

Thinking out loud now to pull myself together...

3:38pm... so far I have accomplished making everyone breakfast, washing 2 sinks of dishes, repairing two items I have had the materials together to do forever and not done, paid a bill, emailed an old friend, given my dog extra rubs, and checked my email.

The next most important thing I have to do is go to the park with my dog and try to do some yoga there to get my neck back on track. If that keeps reverting, everything reverts. I cant go to a class because I am coughing and I can't do it at home because it is too stressful here if I try to work out in the living room. My dad gets all antsy.

Following that... I should sweep the front steps and work on getting one book case up on foam blocks, because then I will feel better about myself.

Hug yourself and the person or furkid next to you!

 

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 10/18/2018:
Hoping you are having a good day.

happy-1 on 10/18/2018:
You totally just inspired me to rewrite this post from the perspective of having a good day.

All about mindset right?

How is your day? How is your mom and hubby?



happy-1 - Wednesday Oct 17, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

FOUND! A non-caffinated tea that is totally drinkable without adding a sweetner. Yogi Cinnamon Vanilla Healthy Skin Tea (https://yogiproducts.com/teas/herbal-teas/cinnamon-vanilla-healthy-skin/). I'm liking it so much that I have made several 40oz mugs of it in my splurge Stanley Thermos drink cup. Yum. Today my tea bags say "Use your head to live with heart" and "Live in your strength"

221.8... Which considering that I have been largely inactive for a week except for cleaning, consuming tons of extra sugar in my tea to soothe my throat, and was off track on eating for several days... Pretty good! Still coughing up a storm though... The improvement yesterday was that at least my lungs didn't spasm out and get all rigid, and give me a panic attack (the whole room suddenly closes in). I feel like I should be over this already.

All I can think about is how badly I want to go to yoga class. It's this obsessive itch in my brain that just does not want to go away. Is it possible to have yoga withdrawal? Like heroin?

Stuck to my plan yesterday of tracking spending against budget, but hit the "too tired" mark last night. I was so encouraged by the all-green day from my nutritionist that I got the first piece of furniture up onto foam blocks for rug cleaning. 8 pieces to go. Yes I have been talking about this forever and cut the blocks a while back, but last night I actually conquered "can't focus" and did it. 

I even took my first steps towards taking the math placement test for my local community college.

What a difference occupational therapy, nutrition, supplements, and yoga make. I can be "down" but still "functional".

 

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 10/17/2018:
Remember, you are stronger than you think you are! That is what i think regarding panic attacks...oh...and to make sure i get decent sleep.

happy-1 on 10/17/2018:
Yeah, it's biochemical because your lungs are telling your brain there's no oxygen. I can usually back it down with a fan, but it sneaks up on me when I'm sick because it's all of a sudden.


Donkey on 10/18/2018:
Proud of you and the progress you've made - and not just on the scale: not EVEN. :)

happy-1 on 10/18/2018:
Yeah, it’s a total end-to-end project for sure. Thank you!



happy-1 - Tuesday Oct 16, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Extra post for today... but milestone! My food posts for yesterday on Rise got all Greens from my nutritionist! I’m learning!

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/16/2018:
CONGRATS, HAPPY!

happy-1 on 10/17/2018:
TY! One foot in front of the other!


Donkey on 10/16/2018:
That's wonderful!!!!

happy-1 on 10/17/2018:
Right? All I need to do is only have food in the house that is ok by the nutritionist... and never leave...


BearCountryGG on 10/17/2018:
Good Job!

happy-1 on 10/17/2018:
Thank you!!!


Donkey on 10/17/2018:
(I did not notice that you posted twice yesterday. One of the caveats of reading DD on my phone...)

happy-1 on 10/17/2018:
So you are saying I can totally get away with tons of extra posts? J/K



happy-1 - Tuesday Oct 16, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Graindart streak Day 2. It's nice to "shadow" someone in a streak the way I did when I was interning. I did have some added sugar yesterday in my agave, cough syrup and cough drops, and then a piece of bread last night with some eggs. Also too many peanuts. But nothing crazy and it's a process, not perfection.

Trying Mucinex for the first time and thouroughly surprised at how much it helps. I'm still staying home today though. Coughing a lot. I hope I can be back at yoga by Saturday.

Continuing my theme of getting things in order and checking my budget. Making sure my spending has been on track with all the headaches.

One foot in front of the other.

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 10/16/2018:
Hope you feel better, Happy. Mucinex DM is what my Hubby takes sometimes for his sinuses and it helps a lot. Also chicken noodle soup broth (Campbells is best). Feel better.

happy-1 on 10/16/2018:
Thanknyou! Should have thought of soup when I was at the market last night!


Horn_of_plenty on 10/16/2018:
Continue to do the right things and you will soon feel better...keep on, you are doing great. nice job staying on track decently especially when under the weather :)


Donkey on 10/17/2018:
LOVE Mucinex and Mucinex DM (if you're coughing, too). That has helped me a lot in the past.


graindart on 10/17/2018:
Day 2, good job, on to conquer day 3.....



happy-1 - Monday Oct 15, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

GP called and let me know that I have arthritis and moderate disc degeneration C4-C7. I can do normal activities, but need to be careful of anything that causes pain... or causes pain afterwards... Which isn't going to work because that's pretty much EVERYTHING.

I think my max on days without yoga is 5. Started to feel the headaches come back again today after moving boxes around. I'm craving yoga like I used to crave a jacuzzi.

My claims to fame today are:

1) Starting my graindart streak over. Day 1. All on-plan eating today of whole foods that support bones and nerves... most of which are meal-prepped trays.

2) Feeling better exactly 10 days after I caught my cold. Still coughing, and coughing too much to go out... but I can tell it is clearing. I am pretty excited about this because it means my immune system is stronger and my supplement stack and work with the nutritionist has made a big difference. It used to be that if I got a cold, it lasted forever, turned into a bacterial infection and then I was on steroids and antibiotics. All I took for this one was my regular inhaler and cough syrup.

3) I did 3 tasks I planned to do today without a lot of messing around.

4) I have not cursed at all today.

5) I am about to fall on my sword and offer to take my dad to Ralphs, which I hate doing. But it will be my act of kindness for today.

6) I sorted through my ADHD-hurricane I created while I was sick in the bedroom I need to clean out. When I don't feel well, it looks like the space around me exploded. I put it back in order and felt less chaotic.

7) I did all the dishes and did not say anything about it.

8) I put up with my dog and her door shennanigans like a saint.

9) I listened to my neck and took a break as soon as it started acting up instead of trying to push through it.

 

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/16/2018:
Your good eats and meal prepping will def keep you on your Graindart Streak! That's really the best way to stay on plan. I also meal prep for work almost always and it helps. I packed some of my low sugar (healthy) pumpkin brownies for breakfast today and tomorrow along with some chicken burgers to add to my Indian prepared veggies! :) i like to mix my own food with what i buy out to generate a full meal since i do NOT cook everything i eat!

It's so great your cold didn't lead to anything worse...i know what you mean - i used to really have a similar issue especially if i didn't take care of my colds or if i didn't get enough rest when i needed it!

nice job cleaning up and getting everything back into order!!


Horn_of_plenty on 10/16/2018:
i agree with your comments a few entries back - you have certainly put in LOTS of effort to heal and progress ! and even your weight loss is amazing!

happy-1 on 10/16/2018:
Thanks! I feel kind of awkward about some of it because I feel like I should be strong enough to do stuff on my own without help... or paying for things... but the nutritionist unlocked my ability to get to sleep at a set bedtime and helped me break my plateau, and generally eat less and healthier on a daily basis so I guess some of it worked out. Other things didn’t... like I bought a couple of fancy binders trying to get organized...


BearCountryGG on 10/16/2018:
I have almost the exact same issues but with bone spurs, narrowing and slipped discs too...….lifting can really set things off...and so can sitting at the computer too long.......and pushing a shopping cart....but the clincher for me was when the dr asked if I was having incontenance problems yet.....NO!!!!



happy-1 - Monday Oct 15, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Ha. Figured it out. A weird dvd is no match for me.

I think what the xray is showing me is that I don't actually have a reversed curve in my neck anymore. It's just straight up and down...  I'll ask the doc and see what she says.

Found this online. Pretty much matches my xray. 

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/15/2018:
that looks very different, i hope you are still not in pain and that you can continue to manage it!

happy-1 on 10/15/2018:
Yeah that's not my neck... But the left side looks like it. The right side is my goal. Funny... I was pinning fitness before and after weight loss transformations and now I am pinning neck before/after transformations.


Horn_of_plenty on 10/16/2018:
and the transformations are totally without medical procedures!?!?!? really!? ?????



happy-1 - Sunday Oct 14, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Short post tonight. Lost whole day to being sick. Mostly due to asthma and coughing. I had a bunch of personal things to get accomplished today that did not get done. Should have just left the house this morning and done my best. But I got some rest and hopefully that means productivity tomorrow.

I think I am hitting the limit on days I can go without doing yoga. Neck is starting to hurt again.

Dog is making me crazy today. Wants to be near me but as soon as I cough she gets annoyed and leaves then bangs the screen door. As soon as I give her tramadol, she wants to go for a walk. Except I can't breathe so I can barely get to the end of the driveway.

Still can’t get dad’s dvd drive unstuck and he won’t let me do the paper clip thing. I’ll have to wait till they go to the grocery store and then... that DVD is mine.

Update: Got the DVD while dad was in kitchen... but it needs special software. There's a free version but it is a really big download. The battle continues.

I can't wait to start my streak over. Cheats today were a box of mac n cheese, dark chocolate, linguine. Too much agave.  Tempted to throw away the pasta... except I can't bring myself to throw away food. I cleaned out the pantry to look for stuff to get rid of for the food bank as my claim to fame today.

Not sure why OOMLG is STILL TEXTING ME. I like him, I wanted to date him, he turned me down flat... but wants to be friends because I am awesome but not wife material. Fine. This is my good deed. Politely text a clueless engineer who would totally be into me if I were 2 years younger. Which makes me want to punch him in the nose. Except I enjoy our conversations. 

Sigh.

Listening to the Interworld series by Neil Gaiman on Audible. Some podcasts from KFI 640. I think I really am happier and more productive without Hulu or Netflix.

Except I miss watching it when I am sick. On the other hand... Super organized pantry. Bag for the food bank next weekend. Packed all my supplements and meds for the month... Took a nap. Cuddled my fat yellow dog. Washed dishes. Made really good turkey meatballs...

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!


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