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happy-1 - Friday Aug 03, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

225.9... Have to start tracking calories again. Asked Conometer if I can get a beta account to use their time stamping feature pre-release. So frustrating.

Found perfect location for the K9 meetup to do dog walks and beers 2x a month... a brewery taproom tucked away in an industrial area behind a grocery store and across from a park gate that eventually outputs to a neighborhood. We can meet across the street at the gate to the park, walk and socialize our dogs, then go back across the street for beers. We can bring a snack or order pizza since they don't serve dinner. If your dog isn't quite housebroken yet, you can bring a camp chair and sit outside, but no beers outside. Lots of parking. Mellow atmosphere. Good people.

Found this place while surveying spots with my camping friend and her dogs... which meant a super long walk... almost 20,000 steps. When I got home last night I was starving and really dug into the paleo granola after dinner. I was so hungry! My ancient dog held up for the walk but was out like a light on my bed as soon as we hit the door. I watched Netflix till my outdoor timer flipped it off. I passed out too. At some point my dog bailed on me to sleep by my dad. She's spending most of her time with him now. This defies logic because he doesn't feed her, walk her, buy her expensive CBD oil treats, take her places, let her sleep in his bed, etc. He mstly steps on her and yells at her and tells me to lock her in the bathroom.

While cleaning up yesterday I found a slightly too tight but otherwise serviceable straw hat WITH a lariat to keep it on in wind! My mom must have bought it because it is a medium (SHE did not get the giant feet, head, hands and height of our Norwegian ancestors), cheap, not packable, itchy, smells funny, and is hideous. And according to Ebay... still available for purchase if you would like a sensory nightmare of your very own. However... It does keep the sun off! For free! Just in time to go to the beach tomorrow. I feel like Cinderella... Why yes you CAN go to the ball! Bippity boppity boo!

Prince Charming is  a dude off JustOKcupid. 47, on the opposite side of town. Has 2 4x4 vehicles but does not go offroading (thbbbbbbt). No kids, 2 dogs (labs). Also an LA native, same height as me. We're meeting up at a bar by the beach about 9am. So far he is keeping it friendly but polite and I am massively looking forward to it.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/03/2018:
Hope your meetup/date goes well....and you have fun.

happy-1 on 08/05/2018:
I did have fun! Big hugs.

Donkey on 08/04/2018:
Ooo, I too hope goes well!!!

happy-1 on 08/05/2018:
It was lots of fun. I looked great. If he doesn't pick me, well phooey on him.

happy-1 - Thursday Aug 02, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

Fresh start to a new day. 

Yesterday I made some questionable food choices. Probably because I am a little discouraged... an extra couple of 100 cal frozen fudge bars, one of my dad's diet rootbeers with aspertame, too much seasoning in the turkey burgers, a bun with my burger, and a single serve pack of cakes I bought for my dad but he didn't want. I guess I need to find something new to give me hope. As the fortune cookie I got last week said... He who has hope has everything.

Trying to find a balance in tasks to decrease "overwhelm" and improve focus and attention. The OT had me structure my day into "zones" of type of work I should be doing based on wakeup time, food, meds, exercise, and environmental conditions... But I can't seem to get up and eat the frog because all I do is stare at the mess and piles of paper in the living room. So today I decided eating the frog was sorting out the boxes of paper. I sorted one. If I sort one a morning for a week, I can be through it all and ready to pull out more boxes.

Meeting up with my friend from camping to scope out a farmers market and some dog-friendly breweries today. Here is my outfit... gotta pack a backpack to carry my dog's water bowl and other items. I am still not 100% on the hat. I love the one from H and M, but it is not packable. The one from Columbia is kind of ugly but packable and already has holes for a lariat to keep it on your head. Everything else I already have... even if it is getting too big!

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/02/2018:
I like both hats.

Donkey on 08/03/2018:
My walking hat has a wide brim and a lariat to handle these Illinois prairie winds, even in the suburbs.

happy-1 - Wednesday Aug 01, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

In a parallel universe today. My dad has been nice to me for several days and gave me $60 towards dinners and gas for the month. Apparently having dinner on the table every night at 7 is doing him some good too. He is less cranky and sleeping more consistently.

My mom is down to 209 from 223 and in a major depression over going on insulin. She says it is her tummy and it is in too bad shape to go out because it's too sensitive. I hope that is what it is. She's trying to give up fake sugar like I did... but it's hard. She's stockpiled lots of treats with aspartame in them.

Season 10 of Heartland is on Netflix! They jumped the shark with Season 9 and the little orphan girl Georgie. I hope they bounce back.

Returning the boots today. So bummed. So much money for shoes that can't be repaired.

Have been a little discouraged last couple of days, despite having lost 2.8 lbs. Just a general malaise. A little lonely without my ex, UDG, or Molly to talk to.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 08/01/2018:
Maybe your Mom is eating too many sugarless things.......aspartmame can cause headaches...and other artificial sweeteners cause diahhrea (sp).....you really have to be careful with them.

happy-1 on 08/01/2018:
Yeah, I hope that's it. I hope she isn't a) seriously ill, or b) finally going all the way to shut in.

legcramps on 08/01/2018:
Good for your Dad! I hope Mom feels better about her situation soon, keep remembering how far she has come already!

What is UDG? And you are lonely without your ex? I think I might have missed some backstory here...

happy-1 on 08/01/2018:
UDG is Ugly Dating Guy, named for the site where I met him. I'm not lonely without my ex, I'm just lonely without people to talk to. If I keep talking to my ex, I won't meet anyone new and it's not fair to string him along (and I can't bring up that every time he asks me to come down all I can think about is not getting a valentine's day card... that's bitchy) and keep him on the line because I'm scared to be down a friend. UDG has kind of vaporized because I don't want to start a relationship with him if he is going to pull me off fitness goals... which justifiably hurts his feelings. He wants to go for long car drives, eat junk food, and go to all you can eat korean bbq "because it's low carb". Molly doesn't want to hang out anymore (see past posts).

For making new friends... My friend K from church comes with strings attached, although it isn't stated clearly... I have to go to 5pm Sun services, Fri night church events, and possibly pick up a Wed night bible study. None of which I am opposed to, except everyone there HUGS YOU HELLO and I hate it. They won't stop at a handshake, they pull you in for the hug. My friend I from camping is just busy with her family and getting ready to relocate and she hasn't picked where yet.

horn_of_plenty on 08/01/2018:
Is the Ugly Dating Site for Ugly Dating or for everyone? like, do people join it bc they feel they are ugly or to meet ugly people? my coworkers want to know?!

happy-1 on 08/01/2018:
The one I saw the video for wasn't the one I signed up for. I think someone floated a video as a market research project with a lead capture page then bumped people over to a catchall dating network. I can't recommend it.

happy-1 on 08/01/2018:
But the video I saw was amazing... Basically a guy sees an ok girl on Tinder and swipes left because she just looks normal and then a super hot girl and swipes right. He goes to pick up the super hot girl for a date, and her roommate is the normal one and answers the door and at first he thinks she's his date and he's stoked... then she leaves and he's stuck with the hot one and the hot one is doing crazy impossible stuff for her Instagram feed, is kind of a nightmare, and he's trapped. Then her purse falls open and her Chihuahua rolls out to the floor, possibly dead. Then the message was something like "It's not all about the photos. Date ugly." I guess it's a little off because the roommate was pretty, just not done up for a glamour shot but it was a UK video and horrifying/funny... Sucked me in.

legcramps on 08/01/2018:
Ah, i see. Making new friends is not easy, but holding on to old ones that don't do your life any good, is no bueno! Toss the people who don't make you a priority; it's not your role to constantly worry and fret about how they feel about you. We only live once, and it's not a terribly long time if you think about it, so let's do it with the best people around us, the ones who will lift us up rather than bring us down!

I have a friend who HATES hugs. I am a born-again hugger. If you hug someone for at least 30 seconds, serotonin is released from your body, and it makes you feel euphoric. Trust me. Try it. With someone who you are comfortable hugging, of course!

happy-1 on 08/02/2018:
I like hugs but having to hug everyone at a church service is overwhelming. It also feels inauthentic and nobody hugs for 30 seconds. That would be awkward-er. It's mostly a black church, so must be cultural.

happy-1 on 08/02/2018:
It's hard to not feel bad when a friend of 20+ years doesn't want to hang out together for their family party that their family invited you to.

Maria7 on 08/01/2018:
Congrats on your lower number.

happy-1 on 08/02/2018:
Ty! Fighting for every ounce.

Donkey on 08/02/2018:
I get the hugs thing... maybe just bite the bullet and roll with it? It might be worth it for the companionship...

happy-1 on 08/02/2018:
Yeah, that's the current plan. Grit my teeth and hug.

graindart on 08/02/2018:

happy-1 on 08/02/2018:
Hahaha!!! I can only imagine what would happen. If anything I'd get more hugs!

horn_of_plenty on 08/02/2018:
for thai food, i stick with entrees of veggies and protein that are in ginger, garlic or basil sauces. it comes with a little rice but it's not a rice dish or a noodle dish. i order the dishes that are based on veggies/meat that come with rice. not fried rice or noodle based dishes! i love the way thai places add a lot of veggies to their food!

happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 31, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

 Up and productive even though I woke up late at 8am. I actually got things done yesterday... Like 4. I am shocked.

Trying to decipher the mechanic's notes about repairs for my car... I can't actually match "fuel system" to any services online. I guess I have to go back in and ask them. UGH!!!! At least it will be a chance to get more dark chocolate from Ikea. I am out of chocolate... This is a terrible state to be in.

I did have the shocker today that a beach dress I purchased as a goal dress 3 years ago fits... almost well enough to wear out and about. I can't believe it. I thought at least another 20lbs. Makbe 4 or 5 more pounds till I can wear it like a normal tunic... right now it needs to go woth shorts or something on the bottom.

This is what I could have packed for the weekend to go down to my ex's. If I didn't want to bring a laptop and a hair dryer, this could have fit in 1 bag. Items in my H&M order that need to show up are the white tank top and straw hat... although I am kind of thinking twice about the hat.


I might do better with  this packable straw hat from Columbia.


What is slightly frustrating is that the floral shorts and the khakis are getting too big. The shorts are a 1x and hard to take in without screwing up the flowiness. The khakis are stretch and I'd have to buy a different sewing machine to do the right kind of seam for any durability, plus the pocets would be too small to put anything in. UGH!!! Black belt will fit for another couple of months, but once I hit a size 12 I will need new belts. PHOOEY.


Looked at Noom today to do instead of Rise.. but they ask you creepy questions like "Have you been on antibiotics in the last 2 years." Too personal.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/31/2018:
I like all of the clothes.....I do agree....packing a hat that is packable probably would be better,,,unless you have enough room for one that you shouldn't crush.

happy-1 on 07/31/2018:
I figure this is my time to get down to a minimalist capsule wardrobe so I spend less overall on replacing clothes as I drop sizes. The visual representation helps me "see" what I have. I'd love an all-cotton infiniti scarf but I don't know what would go with what I have and I already have scarves but they are useless!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/31/2018:
try not to buy too many clothes at once...conserve your money is my personal suggestion...however it is soooo fun to buy new clothes that you enjoy the way they fit!

today i walked into Express on the way home to see about jeans bc they were having a sale. Buy 1, get 1 for $20. Well, the jeans are made well, yes, but for $80 for 1 pair and $20 for another meaning they are STILL $50 a pop, i put them back down and left the store. In no way is $50 a good price for jeans!

happy-1 on 08/02/2018:
Yeah. Waiting for 2 more H and M packages and then returning anything that isn't perfect. I have clothes but nothing works together or can fit in one bag for a weekend... largely because all my plain items (black/white/red tshirts, tanks, and slacks) are worn out and only for chores/house/dog walks. When I did the visual inventory of my closet... everything is in the color/interest category and not the basics category. So far I am only keeping a black dressy tank, red linen tank and a white linen tee.

happy-1 - Monday Jul 30, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

Restarting day. Overslept till 7 and took adhd meds late so my brain feels like a tub of pudding. Restarting and replanning...

Decided to make inquiries at church to see if there is anyone who works security and might accompany me for a few hours. Get unstuck. I have tons of empty file folders and need to get at them and buying them again is as much as paying someone to accompany me.

Weirdly the thing that is motivating me to be healthy today is a really big lady made an odd comment to me and I realized that I have been resting on my 95lb accomplishment and ignoring the 55lbs of "work" left to do to get to healthy and slacking on food and exercise because I feel so much better and just figure if I keep working on my habits everything will fall into place... but I've kind of let all my habits slide to match my parents again and I need to stop mucking around and rededicate myself to prioritizing health and sleep. Basically there is a lady who has some kind of disability and she's really huge. She liked my top and I said I got it at H and M. She said "Oh they have our size there?" I kind of paused for a moment thinking we're not the same size... I'm only a Lg/14... but then realized she was only making the distinction between tiny/fit and tall/overweight. I said yes online. I also felt small and mean for thinking that at all... but I am glad to snap back to reality however it happened.


Frustrated because the boots I splurged on finally came! And they fit! And they cheaped out on the large size special run for Nordstroms so even though it is a workboot line, these are no better made than Payless. The leather is good, the sole and the zippers are awesome... but they used cardboard for the heel cups rather than leather and that means you can't get the heel cups replaced... in waterproof leather boots that have a stretch gusset and are sure to get wet inside eventually. So mad!!!

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/30/2018:
When I can't get motivated to get something done...I set a timer for just a few minutes...like 5......I can do anything for 5 minutes......and I get to work....and keep repeating as long as necessary...and it's free.

happy-1 on 07/30/2018:
Yeah, when I feel like this it's like my bike chain came off the gears and the wheels don't even spin to set the timer. The time diary is helping a lot. Gives me a better sense of time passing since everything feels like it's only been 5 min not 5 hours or 5 years

BearCountryGG on 07/30/2018:
I think I already mentioned this before...sorry if I'm repeating myself.

happy-1 on 07/30/2018:
It's a good reminder. I'll set a reminder to buy a timer to use as a reminder ;-)

horn_of_plenty on 07/30/2018:
yup it's easy to lose track but you've lost a lot of weight and it's ok if you stay at this new weight for awhile, as long as you don't gain. not gaining is progress in knowing what your body needs to sustain itself at the current weight. making some more changes (in diet, not exercise) will help you continue to lose. i said not exercise bc the majority of weightloss is based on diet. exercise is more for your muscles and heart.

happy-1 on 07/30/2018:
Yeah, but I feel like my life would be so much better at 165lbs and I'd be able to be there more for my dog and parents. I miss planning out my meals and splurges ahead of time. I feel like the nutritionist on Rise has given me a lot of good pointers but overall I might need more structure. I'm also tired of the double-logging between cronometer and rise... I'd stick with the nutritionist but maybe not Rise.

happy-1 - Sunday Jul 29, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

Ate a lot of junk food today and yesterday... laid around like a lazy loaf. Sloth and gluttony. So much to do but I always fall apart if I sleep late and I somehow slept 11 hours.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/30/2018:
Hope today works out better.

happy-1 on 07/30/2018:
Hugs! Ty

horn_of_plenty on 07/30/2018:
maybe you were busy leading up to today...rest is important.

happy-1 on 07/30/2018:
Likely too much Sangria... Have discovered the best recipe for instant sangria using $3 chardonnay... 2-3 bottles of chardonnay, lemon juice, lime juice, gala apples, ginger ale. No overnight marinating needed but an hour standing does improve it.

happy-1 - Saturday Jul 28, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

Replanning and refocusing... I took my dad to Ralphs and I feel like I got hit by a truck. Plus it took so long.. 3 hours. There's something awful about that store... from the handheld scanners to the too many options for the same basic items... to all the noise and the weird absence of any smells other than industrial cleanser... it's more like a casino than a food store. I actually didn't buy anything because it was too overwhelming.

Still have to buy food this week, ugh.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/28/2018:
No Ralphs in Michigan...is it a grocery store?

happy-1 on 07/31/2018:
Yeah. Kroger chain.. They have a billion choices for everything. Too much choice!

Donkey on 07/29/2018:
We don't have a Ralph's either, but I see on their website that they're owned by Kroger's which I am somewhat familiar with. (No Kroger's in this area, but I've heard of them, LOL.)

Some stores work for some, others not so much. My husband and I have similar conflicts/feelings about Sentry, Meijer, Woodman's (local)... And shopping with Dad in itself, I'm sure, has its own challenges.

I hope today was better!

horn_of_plenty on 07/30/2018:
We only have Ralph's Italian Ices! in every flavor man could ever think of! Maybe like 50-100 choices.

happy-1 - Friday Jul 27, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

Have ruined one pound loss with brownies and too much frozen yogurt. Partially due to hunger, partially due to sadness because Molly doesn't want to hang out this weekend to go to her aunt's pool party and maybe do some other stuff. Kind of bummed because it would have been good to do a girl's night out, but also because I think she thinks I'd be a drag. Oh well. Friends grow apart... and my ex invited me down to SD for a visit. Better than sitting here mooning over Molly thinking I'm a drag.

Had first doggie brewery social yesterday. One lady showed. One guy at the brewery said he'd be interested in socializing his new rescue dog. I'm thinking thursday night pack walk and brewery after is a better plan than just sitting at a brewery.

OT today and I haven't done the assignment. Gotta get crunching on that... and maybe redye my hair. I tried a new shade to match my roots but think it lurned out too orange. I have a bottle a shade to the darker side that might look less fake to dye over it. I can't tell. It looked ok at HM last night... although my clothes didn't. I was wearing XL top and a 1x bottom and they were super baggy and shapeless. Not cute at all. A size 14 dress and a medium tank looked just fine though. So frustrating! At least I picked up the blue beach coverup and a wide brim straw hat. I need to try everything on that I packed for the weekend... I can't take for granted that the stuff I packed will actually fit me. I should also take measurements again... I might have lost inches and need a new bra. I wish I could lose the fat in my under eyebags!!!


Scratch going down to SD to see my ex. WTF was I thinking? I have a ton of car maintenance to do and a trip to SD to see a dude who didn't send me a Valentine's day card until MARCH is def not on my priority list.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/28/2018:
Now to be fair to yourself, you don't KNOW that Molly thinks you're a drag. Maybe she just wants to hang out with family this weekend?

The doggie social sounds hopeful, with a little more time, it could develop into a solid group, perhaps.

Try hemorrhoid cream for under-eye bags. Yep.

And I think your decision not to see the Ex was the right one to make.

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
No... It's that I'm a drag... It's just that we have known each other 22+ years now and have different interests. And to be fair when I want to go do things I want to do and have brought her along, she takes all the fun out of everything. When we were both 150+lbs overweight we had more in common... food, drinks, trips... but I made a bunch of changes to lose weight so there isn't much we have in common anymore... And going out to eat is harder... She isn't at risk for diabetes, so she still eats a lot of simple carbs, alcohol, salt, fat, and food in restaurants. I literally can't do that anymore. So it's just boring. The things I have replaced it with... hiking, doggie socials, events off Meetup, yoga, church... she really hates. Nothing that gets her dirty or messes up her hair/nails, and isn't in AC. What can I say? She's spa/jacuzzi/martini. I'm sand/hot spring/tea.

Yeah, I'm sad to spend the weekend alone... but I would have resented putting myself out to just sit in his apartment and eat food out somewhere as the big plan. I sent him a link to a $67 hotel on Hotwire if he wants to drive up to see me. It feels mean, but I can't put him up here and I'm not feeling like springing for a hotel and inviting him after not getting a Valentine's Day card till March.

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
And that's what I am hoping with the doggie social! I just found a brewery even closer to me that is next to a park... so I created a second repeating event for every 2nd Thursday there. Meet in front of the brewery at 6pm and go for an hour walk, then return to the brewery and stick around for a beer. If nothing else I will get my dog out more often. She's such a good dog and gets the short end of the stick all the time without complaining.

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
I use hemorrhoid cream but sparingly... photos and special events. it can thin the skin and make them worse over time.

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
Also thank you for validating that I made the right choice by not going down there. That it was even an option for my weekend was not something I wanted to tell anyone because they all think he's weird. One of my friends thinks he's gay and doesn't want to admit it to himself.

horn_of_plenty on 07/30/2018:
I AGREE that a walk involved before the brewery is better for all the people and their dogs :)

happy-1 on 07/31/2018:
Yeah... I'll see how this first one goes and maybe switch the one at the end of the month to meet there too.

happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 25, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 221.4

Dad helped me remember to take my sleep meds at 8pm last night and I was up on time at 5 this morning!!!! YAY ME! 

ALSO>>> Weight loss! About a lb. 221.4... At this rate nothing will fit me and I'll have to go running around nekked. At least my dog's fur won't stick.

I may have lost my mind last night, but I ordered a little too much off H and M. I think they updated their site inventory afeter I made my purchase because things I had favorited that weren't in my size when I made my first purchase were suddenly available... AUGH. I ended up with a second order of things I liked better, so I am probably stuck actually going in to make a return. at least returns are free. It will just suck for a couple of weeks.

Anyway, after careful analysis, I think what I needed to add was an oversize blouse/dress that can be a coverup for the beach (with cotton and some softness for sunburn), tucked into pants as a shirt, or worn over leggings as a top. Also, wide cut jersey pants and a couple of tops to tie other items together. I also need a hat, but I want better quality than what is available at H and M. I had a couple of other items too, but they are extras/nice to haves and may go back to the store. I will be on the lookout for a two-piece dress with at least some cap sleeves in a nice print... I can definitely see how that would cut down on the number of pieces I need to stick in a bag for travel. I am 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other on the pants. I think some Columbia trail pants in black would be more practical but my hope is that these are thin enough to be pajama pants but stil double as a spare pair of pants when traveling. I also bought a pair of bboots on Nordstrom Rack because I think they may be a good quality brand and it will be impossible to find a pair of waterproof black boots after August in size 13 (thanks Norwegian ancestors for my GIANT FEET)... I will take them to my shoe repair guy before I wear them and ask him if they are well-made enough to be worth repairing. I am done with shoes that are to cheap to repair. That's no way to prepare for a zombie apocalypse!

Patterned Dress Wide-cut Jersey PantsLinen TopFlounce-sleeved TopLinen Jersey Tank Top

(and I had no idea I could just paste in images to DD!!!!! I thought I'd have to post them somewhere then link them over... Doh!)

Goal for today is to 1) get my dog more CBD treats, 2) apply to 5 jobs, 3) send the meetup announcement for happy hour on Thursday to get into people's inboxes after they check email and be at the top for lunch, 4) go to H and M and see if I can find the blue dress now because it would definitely make it easier to pack for Molly's this weekend. My ex in SD wants me to come down saturday night... I am 6 of 1 half a dozen of the other about that too. It would be nice to get away but A) sent a valentines day card in march and I don't feel special, B) he's een working overnights and I just got back onto my sleep pattern today.


Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 07/25/2018:
I love every item you picked out!!!!!

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
TY! I did it very carefully and logically, LOL. I might post my outfit plans and acquisitions as I go :-) Motivation.

BearCountryGG on 07/25/2018:
And congrats on the loss

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
TY! Congrats on your loss too! Putting away the scale was brave. I kind of find it reassuring when my weight fluctuates in a normal range.

horn_of_plenty on 07/25/2018:
yes, the items are very stylish great pics and H&M is great prices. we have a store by us maybe only in NY and i forgot the name right now...i'll let you know, even better prices than H&M..

care about you first rather than adjust your life for him.

happy-1 on 07/28/2018:
I'd love the name of that store!!!

Thank you... I like that. "Care about you first rather than adjust your life for him."

horn_of_plenty on 07/25/2018:
oh, you can always return an item if you want to save some $ !!! :)

happy-1 on 07/25/2018:
Yeah... although the money is the only thing keeping me from ordering chinese delivery right now, lol. All I can think about is a huge plate of orange chicken, chow mein, and fried rice... but I'm out of splurge money... so I won't order, get skinnier and then these won't fit either.

happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 24, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 222.1

This week my OT instructions are to get out of the house for 2 hours no matter what every day and be in bed by 9. I'll try my best. 11 or so last night? Just spaced and forgot to go to bed.

This is mostly possible because I discovered that there is a diner by me I can easily get to with AC and wifi... and NO SCREAMING CHILDREN! An improbable oasis. My big success yesterday was getting to sit down and relax, go through my mail and papers and make a to do list. Today I managed to sit down and reach the goal of applying to 5 jobs and it only took an hour. A veggie scramble with fruit and water seems like the least calorie-and death-laden choice and with tax and tip is about $11. Except I am hungry about 10 min after. 

Lots of healthy eating last 2 days. Moving back to a normal sleep pattern. 

Still burning time on weird "figure it out" projects... ADHD ratholes that used to boost my math and tech skills going to life stuff... instead of job hunting.
Monday's Rathole... While I waited for prescriptions at Costco, I wrote down all the prices and weights for the stuff I normally buy... like chicken, produce, almonds, etc. so I can know if the sales at different grocery stores are actually worth it. Like Food4less had a deal on boneless skinless chicken thighs for $1.99, but it turns out Costco has them frozen for the same price... and since I'd stick them in the freezer anyway... no point. It's basically a "price book" exercise. Save me running around like crazy at least. At some point I need to make a database to do weight by lb, oz, and g so I can do an easy reference when I go through sales and see if it beats the normal Costco price and if it's worth the time and money to go and buy it in smaller quantity.
Today's rathole... H and M looking at clothes. I saw a couple of things on there that would be interview appropriate and grabbed them... Weather is so hot my two interview outfits are a no go. Sweat just starts pouring off me as soon as I put them on. I have lost so much weight I really don't know what fits and is worth taking in. I feel like getting dressed just to leave the house and look normal is a struggle. As I looked at the site if I saw something I know I have (or similar) that currently fits, I grabbed the image and put it in an artboard... Like a way to visualize/inventory what I have and figure out why even though I have clothes I can't put together an outfit to save my life.  Eventually I can make virtual outfits, lol.
Back to it.

Progress as of today: 94.9 lbs lost so far, only 16.1 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/24/2018:
I like Monday's Rathole (LOL). I'm no good at dressing myself. I think I have too many sensory issues to dress well. Plus it doesn't help that I'm short with wide hips, and bad knees and feet (can't wear heels).

happy-1 on 07/24/2018:
LOL! I feel you on the sensory issues. That's why I love H and M now that I fit their clothes. Nothing there seems to "bug" me and their website is super simple. I can't dress myself either. When I get to my goal weight I'll do Stitchfix... Maybe. I think if I buy a red tank, a black cap sleeve shirt, and a white linen t-shirt all my oddball items work.

BearCountryGG on 07/25/2018:
You aren't the only ones that can't dress yourselves...my penchant for solid colors only and simple plain styles....is boring to the max....if and when I do put on something with a pattern or print...D notices ..and so did my Mother.....then I go right back to my plain solids where I am comfortable....best job I ever had was where I wore scrubs......clicked all of the boxes for me.

happy-1 on 07/25/2018:
Yeah but the real issue is I can't pack in one bag to go anywhere or do anything. UGH.

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