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happy-1 - Wednesday Jan 03, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Interview yesterday was OK. I May have f'd up... I got zero sleep and was in a super weirdly happy mood because dd is back online... Why is that such a mood booster? Really wasn't myself...

Add to my top 10 bad ideas that made my inner teenager wake up and says YES THAT! I WANT THAT!!!! I WANT THAT NOW!!! is a dude that emailed me on OKCupid... He posted shirtless photos of himself front and back... yes he is ripped... yes his torso is tattooed front and back with part that says "Long Beach" across his 6 pack. And he has a teaser butt shot up. He's 37 and says he's looking for hookups... but when I asked about it said "short term dating that leads to long term dating". How many ways is he a terrible, terrible idea? SO MANY WAYS.


S: Cranberry juice

B: 1 pumpkin pancake

S: Skipped

L: Diet pepsi, hot dog / no bun, choc frozen yogurt

S: Chicken cesar salad, no croutons, 1/2 cesar dressing.

D: Spare ribs in pea soup (my meal planned dinner turned out really well and was crazy cheap and easy... 10 min active time.... bubbled away in the instant pot while I walked my dog... delicious and my dad ate all of what was on his plate)

S: Protein pumpkin pudding


Didn't get everything on my list yesterday... Realized that I only have space in the fridge for breakfast and 3 dinners... Not 7. I just got chicken thighs, chuck roast, and pork spareribs.  One of the meal planning bootcamp tips is to stock up on sale meats, but there's no space in the fridge and one package makes 2 meals... so 3 dinners for now. Guess I am still doin a new meal plan tonight anyway for next week :-)


Make that tomorrow... Time to go to bed... on time!


Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/04/2018:
Spare ribs in pea soup sounds interesting, do you precook the ribs? Is the instant pot the same thing as a slow cooker ( or crockpot?)

happy-1 on 01/04/2018:
The instant pot is a pressure cooker that can also be a slow cooker. It is fantastic and if you don't have one, buy the biggest one. The stainless steel insert can go on the stove for browning then you stick it in the pressure cooker to finish off. If I'd thought about it I could have cut up the ribs to brown them, stuck the pot in for 15 minutes to defat, then poured off the fat annd tossed in the broth, veg and peas for 20-30... but I was tired and just did the easy way and used all the fat in the soup. It tasted fine and wasn't fatty but probably not healthy.

innerpeace on 01/04/2018:
Maybe you did better than you think. I once thought I bombed an interview and then was offered the job, so you never know what employers are looking for. I think my DH is becoming a career interviewer though! I never had much luck on dating sites, I admire your fearlessness in doing it. I even had no that didn't want to continue corresponding and just put "i'd rather not say"! So good luck, be careful, stay safe but have fun.

happy-1 on 01/04/2018:
Yeah, it's not the best way to meet someone but I need some kind of hope.

happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 02, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Ok too many posts in the same night about meal planning... But I WILL SOLVE THIS!!!!

Just doing dinners from that list...  I came up with:

  • Mushroom Thyme Chicken, Cauliotato mash
  • Split Pea Soup With Spare Ribs
  • Beef Stew
  • Breaded Pork Chops
  • Shepherds pie with cauliflower topping
  • Pork Chili Verde
  • Canned salmon cakes and coleslaw

Raise your hand if you think I should have gone to bed or at the very least spent the time till 2 am prepping for a job interview tomorrow... not obsessing over grocery shopping.


Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/02/2018:
AHHH...diversions....they help us take a break and get our minds off things we have to do. Busy work...is our friend sometimes.

happy-1 on 01/02/2018:
Or a pitfall of adhd. Nothing is as fascinating as what is the absolute lowest priority on my list when I am bummed and lonely.

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2018:
great to meal plan your dinners....that is wayyyy better than no planning....wayyyy better.

and your dinners are freaking awesome.

i'm having a shepherd's pie today, a frozen Amy's one....bc i didn't cook over the weekend!

happy-1 on 01/02/2018:
Yeah... I love cooking. Maybe I should be doing that for a living instead.

horn_of_plenty on 01/02/2018:
so good to see you online! our lil community is up and running for sure, thanks to our incredible webmaster!

happy-1 on 01/02/2018:
Omg... right? Did you ever see that video series by the chick from Buffy called "The Guild"? I think they did an episode on the demi-god admins for the WoW parody that I finally understand.

innerpeace on 01/02/2018:
WOW shepherd's pie with cauliflower - sounds great! Regardless of obsessing over meal planning, I hope you do well on your interview. Good luck.

happy-1 on 01/03/2018:
Thanks. I think I did OK. I hope I will get a callback. It actually sounds really good.

Maria7 on 01/03/2018:
Haven't had shepherd's pie in a long time. Hope you have a blessed day.

happy-1 on 01/03/2018:
Soooooo good.

happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 02, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Planning my day for tomorrow... And my shopping. Mostly shopping... because I am meal planning obsessed and cannot think about anything else till I "solve" the process.

I used MyGroceryDeals.com to kind of figure out what is on sale in my area that I should go for... Then I copied the list into a google spreadsheet and refined it till I came up with just fresh fruits, veggies, and meat on sale. The last days for some sales are tuesday and others are wednesday... So I have 2 days to go shopping for these.

I found the sales, right? So I guess the next step would be to figure out what recipes I will make and what I actually need to make them....


Category Price Product
  1 lb for $0.79 Chicken, Thighs (1 lb)
  $1.99 Pork Chops, Boneless Loin (1 lb)
Loyalty Card Required
  1 lb for $2.97 Beef Roast, Chuck (1 lb)
Fresh Regular or Marinated Boneless
  1 lb for $2.99 Pork, Roast (1 lb)
Center Cut
  1 lb for $0.98 Broccoli, Crowns (1 ea)
  1 lb for $0.39 Cabbage, Fresh (1 lb)
  $0.49 Cabbage, Red (1 lb)
Loyalty Card Required
  1 ea for $0.98 Carrots, Baby (1 lb)
  3 for $0.99 Corn, Sweet Yellow (1 ea)
  5 for $0.99 Cucumbers, Regular (1 ea)
  2 for $3.00 Garlic, Regular (1 ea)
5 Ct
  1 lb for $0.88 Jicama/Yam Bean, Regular (1 lb)
  3 for $0.99 Onions, Green (Scallions)/Spring (1 lb)
  2 lb for $0.99 Onions, Red (1 lb)
  2 lb for $0.99 Onions, White (1 lb)
  2 for $1.00 Peppers, Bell Green (1 ea)
  2 lb for $0.99 Peppers, Jalapeno (1 lb)
  3 for $0.99 Radish, Red (1 lb)
  2 lb for $0.99 Tomatoes, Tomatillos / Husk Tomatoes (1 lb)
  1 lb for $0.98 Apples, Honeycrisp (1 lb)
  1 lb for $0.98 Apples, Opal (1 lb)
  2 for $1.00 Avocados, Ripe/Ready-To-Eat (1 ea)
  4 for $5.00 Blackberries (1 ea)
  2 for $5.00 Blueberries, Fresh (6 oz)
  1 lb for $2.99 Grapes, Red Seedless (1 lb)
  3 for $0.99 Mango, Ripe/Ready-To-Eat (1 ea)
  $0.77 Oranges, Cara Cara (1 lb)



Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/02/2018:
Looks like some really great prices.....No choices around here in the winter.....our crummy community store 15 miles away offers lots of mold and past dated foods...at full prices of course. I remember the days of city life...and I miss them so much....( I do not miss the crime and noise)...but I do seriously miss the shopping.

happy-1 on 01/03/2018:
I would trade the shopping to live in the great outdoors. No farmers markets or CSAs? Online produce delivery?


happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 02, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Still up too late.  

Tremendously relieved that the WTC classes happen on Wednesdays. I can still go to my park workouts with my dog regularly. A little freaked out about the class. Kind of in a panic.

Still have not prepped for the interview tomorrow. I'm super dumb. Just can't focus. Why am I so obsessed with meal planning???? Ugh. It steals my brain power. I hope this free bootcamp helps me.

Pt 2 of todays meal planning assignment was to inventory your pantry.  I just searched around on the web for a pantry that looks mostly like mine and noted what I usually keep on hand. I make my parents hide anything that isn't on this list because I can't resist :( 

If any of the recipes call for stuff I don't have I might add, but I'm kind of at max capacity. I cook all the meals in my house, but I am restricted to one teeny tiny cupboard and one drawer in the fridge. Thus I have several plastic boxes in the dining room with the rest of it and my mom keeps trying to get me to donate food. I'm like... Did you like the meals you ate today? 1/2 the ingredients came from those boxes!!!

In addition to the items below, I also keep:

  • Dried beans, lentils, peas
  • Quinoa, amaranth, brown rice, farrow
  • Flax, chia
  • Seed medlies for sprouting
  • Oatmeal
  • Uncured pepperoni, sausage, bacon and hot dogs

They aren't paleo, but the fitness program I am doing says oatmeal, grains (as long as they are cold), and beans (washed 6 times) are ok. The meat products are used sparingly, tiny amounts for cooking fat and flavor.

I do want an herb garden and I think January is a great time to start one.

The comments on the pantry stuff is from the blogger I grabbed the list from.

My Paleo Pantry | www.thehealthyfoodie.com
  Depends on sales Avocados (I can NEVER be without those!)
  Depends on sales Bell Peppers (Red, Orange and Yellow are my faves!)
  Usually Broccoli
  Depends on sales Brussels Sprouts
  Usually Cabbage
  Usually Carrots
  Depends on sales Cauliflower (the wonder veggie, I often keep more than one)
  Usually Celery
  Depends on sales Cucumbers (English and Lebanese)
  Usually Green Onions
  Always Leafy greens
  Depends on sales Lemons / Limes
  Always Mushrooms
  Usually Parsley
  Always Spinach (I go through one full pound every week)
  Usually Tomatoes / Cherry Tomatoes
  Depends on sales Turnip
  Usually Sweet potatoes
  Usually Zucchinis
  Depends on sales Blackberries
  Depends on sales Blueberries
  Depends on sales Cantaloupe
  Depends on sales Cherries
  Rarely Ground Cherries
  Depends on sales Honeydew Melon
  No Litchi
  Depends on sales Peaches
  Depends on sales Pears
  Depends on sales Plums
  Depends on sales Strawberries
  Depends on sales Watermelon
  Usually Apples
  Allergy - Banned in my house Bananas
  No Coconuts
  Rarely Grapefruit
  Depends on sales Mango
  Usually Oranges
  Depends on sales Pineapple
  Depends on sales Beef
  Depends on sales Pork
  Depends on sales Lamb
  Usually Chicken
  Usually Eggs
  Depends on sales Fish, mostly salmon
  Depends on sales Raw shrimp
  Depends on sales Cooked shrimp
  Not something I make at home, only same day / first night camping Scallops
  Yes Paleo Mayo
  Yes Dijon Mustard (read your labels carefully when purchasing!)
  Yes Whole Grain Mustard
  Yes Olives (many, many different kinds and varieties)
  Yes Sriracha (I use Sky Valley by Organicville)
  Yes Frank’s Red Hot
  Yes Fish Sauce (I really wish I could get my hands on Red Boat)
  Yes Coconut Aminos
  Usually Sauerkraut (although I treat that mostly as a side dish!)
  Sometimes Pickles
  Sometimes Capers
Salted Herbs (this is a really awesome product which, sadly, appears to only be available in Québec. You could very well make your own though, if you were so inclined. I can guarantee that you would not regret it!)
Fermented Garlic Flowers (Another product that only seems to be available here. I just love it. It doesn’t leave garlic on your breath at all! If you can’t get your hands on it, of course, you can always use garlic cloves instead)
Fresh Ginger (Helps create an illusion of sweetness, as well as add a little bit of zing to dishes)
Date Paste (To add sweetness to my baked goods, date paste has become a big favorite of mine. I use it in pretty much all of my recipes now.)
Almond Flour *(I always grind this one from blanched sliced almonds when I need it – I use my food processor or coffee grinder)
  X Coconut Flour
  X Arrowroot Flour
  X Tapioca Starch
Coconut Milk (I will get out of my way to get Savoy but will use AroyD as a fallback option)
  X Coconut Water (I generally use Coco Libre or Blue Monkey)
  X Organic Diced Tomatoes (I generally use Eden Organic)
  X Pumpkin Puree (NOT pie filling! Make sure you get pure pumpkin puree!)
Olives (Green, Black, Sliced, Whole, Pitted… name it, I always keep ALL KINDS)
  X Salmon (Wild Caught, Sustainably Sourced. Wild Planet preferred)
  X Tuna (Wild Caught, Sustainably Sourced. Wild Planet preferred)
  X Sardines (Wild Caught, Sustainably Sourced. Wild Planet preferred)
  X Extra-Virgin Olive Oil
  No Macadamia Oil
  No Walnut Oil
  X Ghee (I either make my own or buy Purity Farm’s.)
  X Coconut Oil
  X Extra-Virgin Olive Oil (reserve for low heat cooking)
  Sometimes. I DIY render from meats Lard
  No Avocado Oil
  X Balsamic Vinegar (both White and Red varieties)
  X Cider Vinegar
  X Rice Vinegar
  X White Wine Vinegar
  Yes Black Peppercorns
  Yes Cayenne Pepper
  No Chinese Five Spice
  Yes Cumin
  Yes Dried Ginger (I also keep fresh in the fridge)
  Yes Dried Oregano
  Yes Dried Thyme
  Yes Garam Masala
  Not sure Ground Ancho Chile
  Yes Ground Ceylon Cinnamon
  Yes Ground Clove
  Yes Himalayan Salt
  Yes Hot Pepper Flakes
  Yes Smoked Paprika
  Yes Spicy Curry Powder
  Yes Sumac
  Yes Whole Nutmeg
  Yes Za’atar
  No Basil - Fresh
  No Thyme - Fresh
  No Rosemary - Fresh
Almonds (whole and sliced) *I usually grind my own almond flour or meal from sliced almonds
  No Brazil Nuts
  Sometimes Cashews (whole and pieces)
  No Macadamia
  No Hazelnuts
  Sometimes Pecans
  No Pistachio
  Yes Walnuts
  Yes Dried coconut - Plain unsweetened untoasted
  Yes Unsweetened Shredded Coconut
  Yes Unsweetened Toasted Coconut Shavings
  No Unflavored whey protein
  Yes Vanilla whey protein
  Sometimes Almond Butter
  No Cashew Butter
  No Hazelnut Butter
  No Coconut Butter
  Sometimes Dates (I usually keep Medjool and the standard pitted variety)
  Sometimes Dried Apricots
  Yes Dried Cranberries (naturally sweetened with apple juice or unsweetened)
  Sometimes Dried Plums
  Yes Raisins (I like to use Thompson)
  Yes Pure Vanilla Extract (I make my own at home, it’s so much better!)
  Yes Pure Almond Extract
  No Date Paste
  Usually Raw Honey
  Yes Pure Maple Syrup – Grade B or Canada Medium
  Yes Blackstrap Molasses
  Sometimes Sweet Apple Cider (or all natural unsweetened apple juice)
  Yes Unsweetened Applesauce (I use homemade when I can)
  Yes Allspice
  Yes Cardamom
  Yes Ground Ceylon Cinnamon
  Yes Ground Clove
  Yes Whole Nutmeg
  Yes Baking Powder*
  Yes Baking Soda
  Yes Cream of Tartar
  Sometimes Guar Gum
  No Cacao Paste (aka Cacao Liquor)
85% Dark Chocolate (mostly used as occasional treat, my favorite, what can I say?)
  No Cacao Nibs
  No Cacao Powder


Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/02/2018:
Had to chuckle to myself...at first I thought they were buy a lot of depends....LOL

happy-1 on 01/02/2018:
I should buy stock in depends

happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 02, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Augh... a whole night without a wink of sleep and an interview I'm not ready for. Got up early and am out at breakfast just to make sure I don't nodd off and get off track even more ----- Is it lack of sleep or is this $400 12 month challenge super appealing even though it is for dudes?


--- 4am spaghetti lean cuisine, fake meatballs, mozzarella

7am Denver omelette, cottage cheese, coffee, 4+3+3 creamers

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/02/2018:
I think you might get testosterone poisoning for that $400....LOL

happy-1 on 01/04/2018:
Ugh... right? But the idea of a 12 month challenge and support and structure with day to day accountability? Really tempting. It is guys only... which means the guys are buying a guys only group... wouldn't want to screw that up but maybe I'll ask if he ever thought about a mixed group.

happy-1 - Monday Jan 01, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Jan 1 Stats
Weight: 237
Waist: 44
Wrist: 7
Hip: 48
Forearm: 11
Bodyfat: 28% (Holy moly - I might not have not lost much in the way of pounds but I dropped 10% of my bodyfat in the past year. I was 38% in the beginning of last year, and I think my highest was 53%!!!!!)


Pulling it back together for the New Year. Tried to get to bed on time last night, but forgot to take sleep aid on time. Call with online shrink to set goals for the new year. I might have gotten frustrated a couple of weeks ago, but the truth is she is really good and I should keep going with her.


New challenge for the year is a meal planning bootcamp.

Day 1 was to plan when I would plan (wednesdays) and where I want to make my plans (google calendar, but more likely the wireframes for the meal planning app I want to make). Day 2 is to make a list of 14 recipes that my household will eat. This was actually really hard because my dad is the world's pickiest eater. Only iceberg lettuce, no veggies, no "noodles", no vegan substitutes, no turkey burgers, nothing spicey.  I literally had to make lists and then move my ideas around to the different lists... I couldn't get 14 budget-friendly recipes in each category in one sitting that fit my bootcamp and don't require me to make a separate set of sides for my dad like a salad with iceberg lettuce, white rice, bread, etc.

  Baked spinach omlettes and paleo muffins
  Power brownies
  Paleo zucchini bread
  Eggs in shakshuka
  Mexican baked eggs
  Brussel sprouts breakfast hash
Lunches (Packed, no heat necessary)
  Chinese chicken salad
  Thai pork lettuce wraps
  Italian sub roll ups
  Quinoa bowl with garlic scapes and red pepper tahini sauce
  Layered tuna salad jars
  Sweet potato quinoa salad with lime dressing
  Cuban sandwich bowls
  Faux-tmeal (Paleo Oatmeal) (Squash, almonds and coconut milk)
  Chicken soup
  Minestrone soup
  Hot dog paleo buiscuts
  Veggie wraps
  Rotisserie chicken, tabouli, hummus
  Roasted vegetables and rosemary chicken
  Chicken thighs with butternut squash
  Cajun Chicken and veg sheet pan roast
  Chicken thighs with fig and shallot compote
  Chicken parm
  Crockpot lasagna
  Veggies in meatloaf and sides
  Shepherd's Pie with Cauliflower topping
  Meatballs in marinara sauce
  Bolognese and spaghetti squash
  Stuffed peppers
  Beef burger lettuce wraps and sweet potato fries
  Spare ribs and pea soup
  Salmon Cakes with coleslaw
  Falafel, salad, lentil soup, babaghanoush
  Chocolate or gingerbread pudding with superfoods
  Paleo pumpkin bread
  Frozen yogurt
  Fruit salad


S: Skipped

B: Egg bake, 1 paleo buiscut, coffee, 4 fake creamers

S: Skipped

L: Skipped

S: Cranberry juice

D: Mac n cheese, brocolli, hot dogs, stevia coke

S: Apple, and peanut butter.

Dog is a night owl too. Ignored food till 1 am and then she had beef stew, a hotdog, 2 cookies, 4 chicken jerky strips, 2 vitamin chews.

My little yellow soulmate.



Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 01/01/2018:
Cool and interesting list! Quite of a few of those dishes have me thinking I'd like to try them too :-)

happy-1 on 01/01/2018:
Hmm... I just kind of rattled them off in my brain. Can look and match them up to online recipes if you like as I keep working on them. I need a pool of 98 recipes total to get to 14 options for 7 meals. I easily have that many in my head but the problem is finding ones my dad will eat that I don't have to stock any extra pantry items to accommodate his picky eating.

BearCountryGG on 01/01/2018:
Losing body fat is amazing.....more muscle, less fat...it's a good thing!

happy-1 on 01/01/2018:
After I measured my bodyfat I pulled on a pair of dark skinny jeans 1 size down that I wasn't wearing because they had big white stretches up the sides and gave me a muffin top. My weight hasn't changed at all since last time I tried them but this time no muffin top and no white stretches... So I wore them to walk my dog... and they fit just right!!!! A little tight on the calves for on and off but that's the style. Weirdly my thighs are barely rubbing even though I'm 237lbs... So happy!!! I haven't been comfortable for a couple of months because I was between sizes and rolling the waistband on pants and shorts over belts in the house to try to be comfortable.

BearCountryGG on 01/01/2018:
I LOVE shopping in my own closet too....FUN!!

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
It is the best! No question. Stuff you already liked and it's free!

BearCountryGG on 01/01/2018:
I LOVE shopping in my own closet too....FUN!!

happy-1 - Sunday Dec 31, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Yay!!!! This service is up again. I really missed you ladies. I tried out Spark People while this was down and I like this so much better. Happy new year! I can't believe how much this improved me mood.

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/31/2017:
Hi Hap!!!!! I think we are all thrilled to be back here again....Happy New Year to you......

happy-1 on 01/01/2018:
Hugs! Missed you!

Donkey on 12/31/2017:
I missed everyone here too! What a Happy New Year's gift this is to us all!!!

happy-1 on 01/01/2018:
HUGE morale boost!

happy-1 - Friday Dec 22, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

No scale to weigh in on.

Online counselor says that I may have committed a faux pas but it was on Molly to say no don't do that and she didn't. That it isn't that I don't know how to fix it, it is something I can't fix... and that a friendship on thin ice that can be disrupted by an oops gift isn't really one I could have hung onto anyway. That I need to look at who I choose for friends more carefully.


B: orange, 2 cheese sticks, sweet potato crackers. S: skipped S: skipped L: skipped S: skipped S: skipped D: hometown buffet with my parents. Stuffed myself silly. The longer I sat there the less healthy my choices were. Not doing that again anytime soon

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/22/2017:

Donkey on 12/23/2017:
I'm with your therapist and Bear -- It's tough to accept it's something you can't fix. I'm sorry for your loss.

ddwebmaster on 12/31/2017:

happy-1 on 12/31/2017:
Yay! You guys installed a new hamster in the wheels of this site!!! LMK if you want help stabilizing!!!

happy-1 - Thursday Dec 21, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

No scale to weigh in on. Need more veggies to see progress anyway.

Another morning of no personal messages and a big Molly-shaped hole.


Sucking it up today. Day 9 of the toughness challenge is to go for a run and don't let yourself walk. "Toughness is pushing through pain, it’s persistence. Running, something I’m not all that fond of, is something I now do daily. It’s not for the health or the fitness, although it’s great for the lungs, it’s for the mental test, the moments where I want to walk." Persistence of pushing through pain.

Bootcamp workout tonight with my pup. Need to leave earlier tonite at 5;15 to give her more time to poop before the workout. My dog's expectations for what her daily life should be like have been raised and she's actually working on the back gate to get out and roam the neighborhood on her own. At 18!!!!!

Doing a bunch of cooking for the week. So far an egg bake, hot dog muffins, sweet potatoes, lentil soup, falafel. Anything to hide some veggies and get more in. I just feel like only eating comfort food with lots of carbs and fat.

Trying to focus on Pete's thing but I keep thinking about the meal planning app
B: coffee 4 creams, egg mushroom sausage bake
S: overnight oats
S: hotdog muffin, cranberry juice
L: lentil soup, falafel
S: 4 egg rolls from freezer, honey mustard dressing
S: post workout hunger... 1 slice pizza, diet lemonade
D: more lentil soup, sweet potato crackers, 1/2 cheese stick, protein cookie, hotdog muffin, mustard


4am and I'm still up. Mostly due to forgetting to take sleep aid when I got home and my mom wanted to watch a movie then toddled off to bed at 1 am. Super, super cold tonight but no high winds. That means I will be able to get a lot of chores done tomorrow. Mostly thinking about discussions with adhd coach today. Basically they run a nanny service for adults with one focus goal setting and then 3 checkins to follow up. I kind of hate the idea of that. 1 more person to fail, plus it is kind of what online counselor and I have been doing, and it is $160 a week. I'm also not sure it will help unless I get digitally organized first.

Counting blessings since I can't sleep... warm blankets, good mattress, warm fluffy dog as a bed warmer, my parents, my extended family, my running car, my weight loss, decent hair cut, good running shoes, getting a good workout in after not feeling well the last couple of weeks. Chewable peppermint melatonin. Feeling cold after being too hot for months and months, that my ex still texts me, that my mom bought me my favorite stevia soda as a hannukah gift. Finding a really, really good recipe for lentil soup. Progress in putting kitchen together. The back patio for my dog, this service and the people on it. Hugs.

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/21/2017:
Feisty dog you have...and at 18...amazing! Good for you pushing yourself to run to prove to yourself you can....

happy-1 on 12/22/2017:
She's the best dog on the planet and I am glad I pulled it together where she is concerned

Horn_of_plenty on 12/21/2017:
yes, veggies definitely help - lately i'm eating lots of carbs and sweets...too much around and also a lot of change going on in my life is causing me to slightly move off kilter...but must move back toward a happy medium soon...which no doubt i will...especialyl after feeling better so I'm not coming home to eat like a maniac...just need to find my structure again.

happy-1 on 12/22/2017:
I feel you on the need for structure

Horn_of_plenty on 12/21/2017:
i ate falafel just the other day, but a weird one because it actually wasn't fried! weird but tasted really wholesome and good!

happy-1 on 12/22/2017:
Baked is ok but then they taste like a veggie patty not falaffel

bearcountrygg on 12/22/2017:
$160 a WEEK??????? $640 a MONTH?????? Think about that really well!!!!!! If I understand you they will have 4 digital contacts a week or a day for $160?????? PLEASE think about that really well!!!!! If they say 4 contacts a day is worth that...then you need to get a notebook and every morning plan out your day with specific times 1.Plan day 2.check in time say like 3 hours later 3. another check in time 4. another check in time work on every 3 hour time period to accomplish what you wanted..make notes to yourself...get some cute stickers and earn a sticker every time you are happy with your success. Free for the price of the notebook which you probably already have.....a little for some cute stickers...which you may also have as well. BOOM! You have a free program and saved $640 a month which by the way is $7,680 a YEAR!!!!

happy-1 on 12/22/2017:
Yeah the thing about inattentive adhd is that I am "time blind" and don't self start. They aren't wrong about how to get us to "go mode"... you kind of catch energy from another person and that tips you into productivity. There are software project management practices that work the same way. But the part that is missing is the visual tracking part. They are charging what someone with the same skillset would be for 2 hours to manage a software team. For that money though there is a visual component and color coding that makes you clue in and round back (software and game development are two industries that naturally select for people with adhd because you have to be fairly time-blind to code in a chair for 8-12 hours). The journaling and stickers are a good idea, but there is a cognitive process around activation that is needed for that to happen.

happy-1 on 12/22/2017:
Their premise is right but their structure is wrong and not sustainable and the flaw in the design of the program makes me question their outcome.

happy-1 - Wednesday Dec 20, 2017
(Paleo + beans + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

No personal texts, calls, or emails in my inbox this morning. Augh. Shouldn't this stuff only be happening if I was addicted to smoking crack or an alcoholic or something? I am disappointed in the DARE program of my childhood. They left out fat, tired, and disorganized.

Listened to AM news channel this morning. This Bitcoin thing is crazy. I never really understood it. I can't believe it's almost $20k.


Biked to market today and back again. Esy peasy. Mental barrier broken. Doing it all the time from now on. Then I came home, walked my dog, washed the curtains and reorganized some things. I have boxes and boxes of paper files I can get rid of if I scan them. Now my beloved dog is curled up on my feet. She makes a great cuddle buddy. Huge storm outside and 5 huge tree branches fell. I'll have to clean up tomorrow AM.

Trying to work through Pete's site. The 1:1 personal training page is hard to do. I'm looking around on the web for pages I think are well done and I can't really find any. None of them sound like someone you want to spend any time with.


Catching up on the toughness challenge. Picking up on Day 8.

(And I just noticed his most "catchy" sharable ideas are in his emails, not his landing pages.. so when I get through this I will have to go back and summarize it and then do the steps again.)

Today it is about faith and that people with faith are inspired to do great things. So you basically have to figure out what you have faith in. "Now, faith in what? That’s not for me to tell you. Faith in the universe, in God, in Allah, in Yeshua, in the idea that if you work hard and do the right thing that is enough. This is for you to decide, but faith in something greater, be it an idea, an ideology, a being that is greater than you allows you to give your fear up and give it to something else, something bigger and greater than you can comprehend." So the challenge is to figure out what you believe in and commit.

This is a good thing to think about because it is something I have struggled with all my life. From my upbringing I hold 3 pieces of different ideaologies (Jewish, Catholic, Universalist Unitarian "Everyone is right, it is all one story"). In college I looked around at the 5 square Christians, but it didn't really resonate. I did like Habitat for Humanity. I need to think about what it was in Habitat for Humanity that is the core idea and commit to that. It meshes with what I like about the Unitarians, but culturally I don't like going there... They are kind of weird and new age.


Adding to this list as I think of things... Gotta celebrate our successes...

THINGS I HAVE ACHIEVED THIS YEAR: Got back into fitness, lost a bunch of weight, learned a bunch of new skills, lost and found and lost a job but at least got a good reference from it. Got my act together when it comes to taking care and providing for my dog even if she is 18 now. Reduced family friction and stopped responding to my dad baiting me. Got rid of two terrible romantic relationships. Built a network of women to go camping with that I like. Got my personal website up. Got control of my sleep (HUGE). Got the kitchen set up. Cleaned out parent's living room and dining room. WAY better hair, makeup, and clothes. 

What have you achieved this year?

9:20am - B: protein cookie
S: 1 piece of cheese and sweet potato crackers
L: burger wrap, diet pepsi, sweet potato fries
S: cheese stick, crackers
D: beef stew from freezer, 2 pieces pizza
S: cranberry juice with seltzer

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/20/2017:
Apparently Bitcoin is a pyramid scheme...scary

happy-1 on 12/20/2017:
Yeah, I still don't get it. I've had it explained to me a million times, but you still can't eat it.

bearcountrygg on 12/21/2017:
It's a risk for people who have money to throw away.......makes me wonder how if they are going for a pyramid scheme.. how were they smart enough to have the money to throw away on it to begin with...........a fool and their money are soon parted as they say.

innerpeace on 12/21/2017:
Nice summary of your achievements. I will have to think about my acocomplishments.

bearcountrygg on 12/21/2017:
I think I may have meant ponzi scheme.

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