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happy-1 - Thursday Jan 02, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 16 on Noom

231.3 Still 15 lbs over plateau weight.

Note: trying logging my food here in colored text...

  • Green = Good food choice
  • Orange = Questionable food choice

Actionable assignments from Noom coach was to 1) Set an alexa reminder for my dad at 6pm to ask me for whatever he needs so I can get to bed on time, 2) be in bed with the door closed and the cat in the bathroom by 8pm. Having problems with the question "Choose two devices: One to help yout rider and one to keep your elephant happy"... The rider being the part of you that is in control and the elephant being the part of you that wants to eat everything in sight and not work out. Right now I am trying to drink hot tea at night but it doesn't really help. 

Getting started in the new year on the right foot. The biggest perk of my exish is that I always head out of any time spent with him ready to take on the world, and punch it in the nose if I have to. Got a full night of sleep and bounced out of bed ready to take on the world.

I had already unpacked and reset my bedroom last night so all I needed to do was have coffee (brewed coffee, Laird's creamer, nonfat milk powder), eat (healthy breakfast sandwich: whole wheat english muffin, egg, turkey, 1/2 slice reduced fat swiss, spinach, tomato), feed pets, put on laundry, and get out the door. I managed to pull it off just as dad's 8am wake up call went off. 

So far I have washed and vacuumed my car and dropped it off for tire repair and an oil change. Waiting next door at Starbucks. Had a second breakfast of a Chicken Tahini salad and water, but was still hungry and couldn't think so I had a ham and cheese croissant with a tall coffee and half and half. Now I can think so I cleaned out my purse and I am logging here to dump out my brain.

Hugs.

----

Got through tire repair, a store return, an attempt at getting new car remotes made (closed), and shoe repair when I was getting the "augh everything is too hard" feels. So I stopped at a mexican joint and had a chicken cheese quesedilla. It put me back together enough to go to Trader Joe's, do a return at Old Navy, do a return and purchase at Costco, and get my nails done... Something I haven't done in 9 months, roughly. The last time was when I was taking care of my mom.

Then I got home and was too hangry to keep going and put away groceries, so I put on some pet food and had some Trader Joes yogurt kale dip and pretzel thins, probably too much of both. The cat ate too fast and puked it up again. The dog tossed her bowl all over the floor. Dad stressed me out by throwing a curve ball about retirement planning...

It's 8pm and bedtime... but I still need to put away groceries, get the pets fed, and AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FIRST REALLY GOOD BRAIN DAY IN MONTHS?????????

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/02/2020:
Looks like progress to me!

happy-1 on 01/02/2020:
First good brain day in months.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/02/2020:
lol your colored writing is making me chuckle, but i'm NOT laughing at you! not at all!

however, remember to be kind to yourself, that all foods can be "good foods!"

Then again, Orange is "questionable" and not "bad" so i guess that is good intentions...i'm picking on you here! sorry lol!

it's nice to enjoy hanging out with someone so much that you are left in a good mindset afterwards.

happy-1 on 01/02/2020:
I'm trying to track what my elephant is trying to get me to eat and why I ate it and why it was the best choice to make at that time... Because I really need to stop beating myself up so much if I want to get my life together.

Orange foods have simple carbs, too much salt or cholesterol, etc. Basically not the healthiest pick but satisfying.

We need our peeps... Especially super hot, affable, peeps with tattoos and muscles who want to make us happy. How can that not put you in a good mindset.


Maria7 on 01/02/2020:
I bet your car looks real nice inside and outside!

happy-1 on 01/02/2020:
Nooooo.... It looks like a ghetto mobile. Body damage, missing trim outside, two different colored mirrors, paint bubbling off it even though it's only a 2011 and hasn't been in extreme temps... Inside dog pee, a mold problem, scratches in the plastic, TONS of fur.

It needs some advanced TLC.

But one step at a time. Today, I vacuumed.


innerpeace on 01/03/2020:
Your life seems so hectic to me. I get overwhelmed just reading what you do in a day. Takes a very special person to do all you do. Even though you may not think it, it is commendable and I'm sure very appreciated.

happy-1 on 01/03/2020:
LOL. Your life seems overwhelming to me....


legcramps on 01/03/2020:
Hugs.

happy-1 on 01/03/2020:
Hugs!



happy-1 - Wednesday Jan 01, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 15 on Noom

Happy New Year everyone!

Time to get on those new years resolutions.

I had a very merry new year and my dog and I are both dog tired. She says no thank you to any more visits with hyper Belgian Malinois or huge puppies. She just wants to be home with her cat.

Exish has also taken to calling my ancient dog "puppy". He took her for a walk while I was passed out and now she pays attention to him.

New Year's resolutions... Working on the same good habits from last year... But with rededication because I fell off all of them. So time to get back up.

---

Step 1: Get to bed by 9pm. Check. Cat is out in living room with dad. My door is closed. The ancient puppy is I am using a space heater in my bedroom... If dad is getting "free" care from me, I can run a space heater so I can sleep.

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/01/2020:
Happy New Year! Keep at em!!!

happy-1 on 01/01/2020:
Grrrrr bear, get after it.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/02/2020:
Happy New Year, Happy! you are off to a positive start! <3

happy-1 on 01/02/2020:
Hugs! You are too. We all spiral up together.



happy-1 - Tuesday Dec 31, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 14 of Noom

Eyes popped open at 2 am again. Dog needed to go out, dad asked for help with eye drops and bam, awake and can't get back to sleep.

NYE date today... Augh... how will I pull this off?

Did at least get 5 min on the bike. It was a struggle to do 5 min.

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/31/2019:
Actually going to respond here to your post from yesterday......loved the cat feeder....funny how he doesn't want to work for it....But I can see my cat would probably not want to either...he is 8 yrs old and they do lose that desire to play by that age from what I have experienced....i loved the days when we had young cats that chased toys around the house, dogs too...but they lose that desire over time. Cats are night owls for sure, luckily they are usually quiet about it though. About noom.....been there and tried the free 2 weeks and then signed up and was relieved when it was over...the group thing was a sorry mess......I started with a group...that severely dropped off as far as participation went...and then suddenly the few of us who remained were mixed together with another failing group and were were not on the same day as far as lessons went and it was not only confusing but frustrating and more dropped out and by the time it was all over with there were 2 or 3 of us...and I was relieved to not have to deal with it anymore........I love psychology.....I was a psychology/sociology major....and I couldn't relate to it........I felt it was money wasted...but it might be a better fit for you....are you getting anything out of it ?

happy-1 on 12/31/2019:
This cat HAS to slow down on the food. He's gained another lb and now he actually looks uncomfortable. That's how I feel too. So fat I'm uncomfortable... Plus with the shoulder jumping thing I don't think I can handle it if he goes past 13 lbs. How big was his last owner????? Had to be an NFL linebacker to handle a pointy bowling ball landing on him.

Last night kitty woke me up for no apparent reason kneading me with sharp claws. I need him to wear himself out with walks and the slow cat feeder or he's going to end up living in the bathroom again.

I switched the Noom program to monthly for $19.99... I need to do something... I gained 3 more lbs today. It has made me more conscious of how many calories I am consuming at night because I can't sleep... So that helps. I'm having a hard time with the articles over the last few days... I had to ask the goal specialist for help... I got stuck at "Tame your inner elephant" I guess the elephant wants what it wants, and yesterday it wanted pizza, cookies, marble cake and nachos. OA definitely isn't it. If Noom doesn't help I will try Weight Watchers again... But I didn't like it the time I tried it because it always made me feel "less than" and I just don't like big groups like that. I don't end up talking to anyone and I just get stressed and anxious and don't go. I like Sierra Club, Meetups... But not anything where you have to sit and listen to a speaker.


bearcountrygg on 12/31/2019:
I do WW online only now because the nearest meeting is at night...45 minutes drive through state and federal forest...scary drive for me in the dark...and so desolate and no phone towers so If I had car trouble I would be in big trouble....do it's online for me now...I have gone to meetings in the past and a lot of people don't talk at them......but online and Dd and you tube videos are what I use now...along with a few ww facebook groups. I totally got lost with the Noom thing...I signed up for 3 months and was confused half of the time....yup..the elephant thing is our minds telling us to eat. Also if you need it.....you can ask to be set back in the lessons....also keep the lessons you want to revisit to your library so you can reread them if you want to. The group thing started okay and fell off fast.....and it's only for paid members and will most likely start for you in about 2 days if it hasn't already......hope it helps you.....I found it hard to follow but it may work out just fine for you.

happy-1 on 12/31/2019:
Hugs. Thank you... I can imagine that there is probably a 80-90% attrition rate after the first 3 days... they are probably going to lose about another 9% over the following week... So the third or fourth group is probably the stable one... So now I know what to expect.


Donkey on 12/31/2019:
I believe that Jenny Craig has one-on-one coaching, but you gotta also buy their food, which is kind of... well, to each their own. I only mention this because Queen Bee used JC for a little bit.

happy-1 on 01/01/2020:
Yeah... Gag. And processed... the total opposite of what I am trying to do... All whole foods from scratch, preferably organic and high anti-oxidant.

happy-1 on 01/01/2020:
If all packaged diet food was good for you, my dad would be the picture of health. All he eats are lean cuisines.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/02/2020:
did you have a good NYE date!?

happy-1 on 01/02/2020:
Sooooooooo good. He's the best company.



happy-1 - Monday Dec 30, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 13 of Noom

My 14 day Noom $10 trial ends tomorrow. I don't know what this thing is supposed to do for me... I think there is some kind of group chat that gets added. Not sure how that will help. I'm so fat my brain is stupid. I can't even think it through.

I did get more done today than I have in a while. I did two critical errands, grocery shopped, picked up prescriptions, and made up potluck stuff for NYE... and I even got my ears re-pierced. I ran out of energy after that and didn't get my nails done. I will have to do that at home tonight.

Getting ready for NYE with ex-ish... Taking a dog out for NYE is a LOT of work... What was I thinking? I have to pack for an old, completely incontinent dog like an enormous baby. I'd be worried his brother will think I'm nuts but I already met his dog... whic should be housebroken and capable of holding it but not so much.

 

Made my fat tomcat a slow feeder out of a water bottle, and he is going to town on it, and complaining about it at the same time. He knows how to get the kibble out of it, but is apalled that he has to put effort into getting food. At least I am entertained. I think if I make a couple more I can be gone overnight and he will have something to keep him busy.

https://www.purina.com/articles/cat/feeding/diy-cat-puzzle-feeder

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/31/2019:
LOL on the cat feeder! I should make one for my Jack!

happy-1 on 01/01/2020:
Absolutely. If they aren't hungry enough to work for it, they are just bored.



happy-1 - Sunday Dec 29, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 12 of Noom

Eyes popped open at 3:30AM this morning. At least I am back on schedule for wakeup. Unfortunately it is on 2h sleep. It's going to be a long day. I have to pick tasks that don't require a lot of brain power. Weighed in at 232.4 today. I keep not sleeping and eating at night and it is really bad for me.

The new portable car fridge from my ex-ish is actually a fancy freezer. My jaw just dropped when I realized what it was. Those things are... Expensive. I feel a little cheap because all I got him for Christmas was a book and some candy! I'll have to do something nice for Valentine's Day...

In the meantime, planning for NYE. Trying to bring snacks that are healthier alternatives to what's being served in a potluck and don't require any prep in front of a big belgian malinois. I don't drink (carbs) so I'm thinking kombucha or something seltzer based for toasting the new year. Snacks like deviled eggs... mini turkey meatballs and toasts... quesadillas...

I can conquer the last 70+ lbs.

---

Update: Hanging out with ex-ish yesterday really helped get me unstuck a little. I have had mom's clothes in her car for months and haven't been able to get myself to take them to Goodwill. It felt like donating her clothes would be like throwing away my mom... But today I got them out of her car and into mine and to Goodwill.

I even went to storage and found my space heater, spare sneakers, and slumpy Ugg boots. It was looking at an Egyptian tomb... My soul is literally buried in there with my camping gear and sports equipment. Was I really the person that used all those things to go places, do things, and have fun adventures?

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 12/29/2019:
I remember not that long ago you'd go camping / on hikes and be packing up your car for those things!

you got a lot done today. i got into phases also where i want to do more rather than less.

kombucha sounds wonderful for a new years toast! yummmmmm! also, your snacks sound wonderful too.


Donkey on 12/30/2019:
I loved this entry.

And it inspired me to prepare deviled eggs, maybe, for NYE...


bearcountrygg on 12/30/2019:
You made a lot of headway.......letting go of things ...I've been there with parents clothes and possessions...and in the end it was a positive move. I am still surrounded by their things...and I'm not sure if it is a good or a bad thing.....I have a very good friend who got rid of everything from their parents except they each kept 1 memento from their Moms.....both chose a small figurine and they each have a place in their glassed in hutch in their living room...it works for them....I on the other had had donated and gave away a whole lot of their things...yet...I'm still surrounded..( i type this as I sit at my Dad's desk right now)and I am rather shocked at myself as I look around our small Den...that LITERALLY is filled with their furniture including pictures on the wall........it's just hard. I keep reminding myself that I would still have memories without having to live with these items......YOU DID GOOD!!!



happy-1 - Saturday Dec 28, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 11 of Noom

Had the best day out with my ex-ish. He gave me a Christmas gift... a fancy car fridge to replace the little one I bought that doesn't stay on. Aaaaaaaaaaaaw.  Then we went to a nature center and did the trails. 

I got to meet his little brother's dog, a high-energy belgian malnois. I really like that dog... It would be so much fun to try her on agility tricks. It was super weird though that their yard doesn't have a play set or any ramps or anything for a jumper breed. Also, she only had her crate in the family area, no separate bed to go for a time out without a cage. She also has an electric collar. There was no greeting ritual for strangers either. I kind of felt stressed out for her and wanted to change their house around to be better suited for her. Not my place though...

I topped 10,000 steps and did ok with eating today. I had too many chocolate covered pistachios. Also I should really be in bed already.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/29/2019:
Sounds like you had a nice holiday!


Donkey on 12/30/2019:
Sounds like a lovely date!



happy-1 - Friday Dec 27, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 10 of Noom

Assignment from Noom coach is to identify why I am having such a hard time getting to bed on time. I am tracking that this week to come up with it. Last night's bedtime was 11:30ish.

Took the pets for a walk yesterday and got to find out what my cat does when approached by an off-leash dog... A 6' vertical leap to my shoulder. It was a surprise. 

Getting ready for the new year with a vengeance... I have a usable yoga space and bike on a trainer. The cat has a perch/scratching post all to himself. The kitchen is clean. I am working on having healthier alternatives to dad's meal picks in the freezer... like homemade whole food black bean or turkey burgers to balance out his bottomless desire for beef burgers. I have to get my weight and cholesterol down.

Pics soon.

Tomorrow I see my ex-ish. We also said we'd do NYE... just Chinese and watch the ball drop. Put an impossibly hard year behind us. I am looking forward to two fun outings in a week. I think I had zero fun outings since the beginning of August except for the last two with him.

I can shake off this productivity slump.

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/28/2019:
Love to see so many planning on New Years resolutions/plans......we can keep that momentum up all year and have a super result from it...!!! Glad you are having some fun.

happy-1 on 12/29/2019:
I'm really trying to pull myself up and rejoin the world.


Donkey on 12/28/2019:
I'm picturing your cat's reaction to the loose dog - LOL! (smart kitty!)

I like your New Year's motivation! It's catching :)

That's nice that you'll be doing something for NYE. I'll probably nod off to sleep around 9pm... *sigh*

happy-1 on 12/28/2019:
He bounced up and down a few times first so I had to drop his leash. Then he did the shoulder jump. If it surprised me it shocked the dog owner.



happy-1 - Wednesday Dec 25, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Merry Christmas!

My resolution for 2020 is to make stronger and better choices every day.

Pets and I stayed quiet and tucked away in my bedroom. 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/26/2019:
Merry Christmas to you too, sounds like you relaxed on Christmas <3

Your resolution is strong and powerful, comforting to hear and it motivates me to soon begin thinking of my own resolutions :)

Enjoy your day!

happy-1 on 12/28/2019:
Hugs


Donkey on 12/26/2019:
Merry Christmas! My Christmas was rather quiet too which is fine with me.

happy-1 on 12/28/2019:
Merry Christmas



happy-1 - Monday Dec 23, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Extra post, which I deserve for not committing fat kitty murder.

Day 6? of Noom... So tired I have no idea. 

Cat kept me up till 4am. I binge ate in ways I am not proud of.

I was useless today. Took care of one critical business item for my dad and realized I was so tired I was punch drunk so I just came home.

I couldn't take looking at any of the unfinished projects in my bedroom anymore... Just endless procrastination perpetuating depression. So I pulled all the unfinished projects out into the living room and started putting them all together back in there. I actually got one of the mirrored screens fully attached to the wall and the vinyl floor rolled out like an area rug.

Going to continue to push on all my projects until I just can't keep going anymore and go to bed. 

One foot in front of the other.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 12/24/2019:
When things feel like they are mostly under control then relief comes. I also get overwhelmed and stop sometimes.....I'm making myself do things that used to stop me me more now...and I'm feeling a sense of relief from that. So often it only takes a few minutes to complete something that I had wasted hours or even days putting off before.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/24/2019:
feel better happy, seems you need some rest :)


Donkey on 12/24/2019:
Well, sounds like you accomplished at least one thing - and I'm guessing it was many things - so you did great in my book.



happy-1 - Monday Dec 23, 2019
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Big, fat, bored tom cat kept me up till 4am by scratching on the mirrored screens and put murder in my heart. So I finally decided on this cat tree... Beats kitticide. I am being trained by my cat. I am a little resentful that the cat is all plush, feeling better... and I took apart the harness so I can't keep control of him when I sleep.

 

PetFusion Ultimate CAT Window Climbing Perch 45&quot; Tall (Tree Sisal Scratching Posts, Modern Window Mounted Cat Furniture. Easy to Assemble) 1 Year Warranty for Manufacturer Defects 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/23/2019:
Cat tree looks great, i hope your cat will love it!


bearcountrygg on 12/23/2019:
I'm sure he will love the new perch....ours has been sitting on the window sills watching birds and swatting the windows...LOL


Donkey on 12/24/2019:
My cats love their cat tree. I think it's a good investment.

happy-1 on 12/28/2019:
He's ignoring it completely :(



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