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happy-1 - Monday Aug 17, 2020
(Week 3 - Sunday)
Weight: 226.6

One foot in front of the other.

Out of factor75 meals (they cover 6 days) and I really feel the difference. I had 3 meals and a snack and I'm still hungry. I don't know what is in the Factor 75 meals... but they actually turn off the "I'm hungry" distraction. I need to pay closer attention to the ingredients.

Brain is just not switching into gear today. I keep working on my calendar and project plan but I'm not actually getting anything done. I unexpectedly got my afternoon back (caregiver was moved to tomorrow) and I am not attacking anything, my brain is just dithering about like a fish on dry land. It wants to map out all my random ideas and organize things that don't need to be organized, not what I want it to do.

On top of this lack of productivity, I stuck my dad going with the caregiver to the dentist and the dermatologist Tuesday and Wednesday. I feel like a jerk for that... I don't know why. That is what the caregiver is for... but I feel like a jerk anyway. On the other hand, I will get two back to back days to work on the kitchen floor without stopping to pick everything up and put it away so he can get to the fridge and the microwave. So there's that.

Noom coach asked today, "What is one thing you will do this week to support your health and wellness journey?" I have no idea what to pick. I'm trying everything I can think of to feel better, get stronger, dig myself out and get back to work. One thing? Like one thing more, or one of the million things I am already trying that aren't getting the job done?


Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/17/2020:
well, that's great the Factor 75 meals worked so well (i'm also sure you liked their convenience!)

You've got to be one of the BIGGEST planners i know! :)

so did you answer the noom coach's question??? i always feel like it's easy to pick one thing (if i have an easy list to choose from of multiple things on my agenda...)

happy-1 on 08/18/2020:
She gave me a nonsense answer. I started my Noom course over a bunch of times so I had "catch up on Noom articles" as a line item for my week. I asked her if that was what she meant or if there was something else specifically.

happy-1 on 08/18/2020:
I plan and I plan, but get very little done. Sigh.

happy-1 on 08/18/2020:
The Factor75 meals are working out so far in that they are helping me eat clean and get some time back to rest and tackle things for myself I haven't been doing. Also, with back/neck pain, I can spend more upright time GTD to move forward instead of managing food until the time I get back for myself to do yoga pays off with less pain. All the packaged meals at the store, even meals at stores like Trader Joe's (even the salads) are pretty high in added sugars and refined/processed foods... Which means inflammation and pain. Whole Foods packaged meals are a little better, but not by much, cost a little more, and who wants to truck over there every week?

Donkey on 08/18/2020:
How DID you answer the Noom question? I'm trying to think how I would answer, and I'm not sure, actually.

You're being too hard on yourself. It's ok to utilize the caregiver. (((hugs)))

happy-1 on 08/18/2020:
I had "catch up on Noom articles" as a line item for my week. I asked her if that was what she meant or if there was something else specifically.

Then because I dunno she will give me a better answer this time... I went through a couple of the articles and posted my answers to see how she responds:

Goal setting - Newbie. What’s a goal? I am detail-oriented. I notice the small things. When I have had a hard day, tough love helps me persevere. A coach should give me practical tips. Health scale 1 - My diet and activity need a lot of work I don’t have a strong preference on how I help people. Super Goal - I want my life back. Ultimate Why - I want to be in better physical condition so I can do the things that make me happy.

happy-1 on 08/18/2020:
For how you would answer... Based on your log today, it would be "Do a yoga class" or "Find a free yin yoga class at a time that works for me."

It's always easier to do it for someone else.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/18/2020:
totally get your comments back. i think some days you plan so much and you are accomplishing lots. it's hard to care for a parent!

happy-1 - Sunday Aug 16, 2020
(Week 3 - Sunday)
Weight: 226.6

Feeling a ton better. If it turns out that I have been spinning my wheels the past few years because I haven't been eating enough fat and protein, I'm going to... I dunno, but something.


Onwards and upwards. One foot in front of the other. 

Made a meal plan for the week.

Trying to set daily goals, but it is harder than it sounds. It's like sudoku... What can I actually do in a day, vs what do I want to do?

Heat wave here. Too hot to move.

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/17/2020:
good meal plan! hopefully you don't waste the food or don't eat it all!

i actually WASTED 2 pieces of meat (small pieces) and 1 piece of chicken this week! so dumb. already cooked, i didn't freeze them and now they are spoiled!

happy-1 on 08/17/2020:
It happens sometimes. I hate that too. This week we have a heat wave and the fridge kicked into high gear. Froze my 3 bunches of Cilantro. Very frustrating. I stuck it in the freezer but I don’t know what to do with it.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/17/2020:
can your pets eat cilantro?

happy-1 on 08/18/2020:
They can, but my dog is almost 25 (175!) and the cat is a former alley cat. He is still learning how to eat healthy.

I might try to make that green sauce from Indian restaurants (mint, serranos, ginger, garlic, lemon or lime)

happy-1 - Wednesday Aug 12, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.6

So... Factor75 came yesterday. I started the meals last night and didn't fall off the wagon and eat a bunch of extra junk.

I ate 4 of the Factor75 meals today (one too many)... with extra veggies and my breakfast of oatmeal, coffee, coconut oil, and a protein shake... that comes out to:

  • Calories: 3,375
  • Fat: 207g
  • Protein: 180g
  • Carbs: 182g

Let's not talk about the price tag...

For the very first time after a very long day of nonstop chores... Nothing hurts, I'm not snapping at anyone, having an anxiety freakout, or crying.

I even got a yoga class and a dog walk in.


Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/13/2020:
Great update!!!!!! (I went back and added more exclamation points, lol)

If this program can get you set on a path of healthy habits that work for you, I personally feel it's worth it.

My mom used a nutrition meal program to lose weight, too, so I know what you mean about eating an extra meal. That's OK!

But the best part of your post is how good you felt and functioned well. Fuel well, function well.

happy-1 on 08/16/2020:
I feel so much better. Without the Alleve, it's been taking me 3 hours to get started in the morning. Saturday I started feeling like a human being. Today I got out of bed and started my day as soon as I opened my eyes. The cat didn't even have to stomp all over me.

happy-1 on 08/16/2020:
What program did she use?

Horn_of_plenty on 08/14/2020:
nice job, those meals will prob help you a LOT to stay on track. def keep them going, it sounds like you are doing great!

also, you can get ideas from the factor 75 meals as well for if/when you don't order from them anymore - on what to make on your own...

wow, that's great exercise to have yoga and a dog walk in one day! i'd be very satisfied with that!

happy-1 on 08/16/2020:
Yeah... The first one I am going to stop ordering and try to duplicate on my own is the Thai Peanut Buddha Bowl. I LOVE peanut butter, and I think this was so great I should just make it my staple snack. This looks similar. I like theirs, but I crave a dry crunchy peanut topping like on ice cream. Maybe some fresh jalapeños!!! https://whitneybond.com/thai-peanut-sweet-potato-buddha-bowl-recipe/

happy-1 - Sunday Aug 09, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.6

Planning tasks between food instead of the other way aroundreally helped me again today. Smaller "bite sized pieces". Back pain still an issue. Only 3:30pm and too wiped to think or try to do yoga. Should have started with that this morning, but since I am wiped I am going to shoot for the "2h outside in daylight" goal and go outside and work on the patio.

Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/09/2020:
i was enjoying working on my terrace too but since i am on the 9th floor, the breeze can be too overwhelming and my papers and notes were going everywhere.

are you in the shade when you are outside? Is it easy to see your laptop screen outside?

i have yet to take my laptop on the terrace. But i realize it could be a nice thing out there.

happy-1 on 08/10/2020:
Haven’t been taking my laptop outside yet. I have a shade tarp up... it should be fine. You can get an anti-glare screen protector that will make your laptop screen easy to see outside and prevent scratches.

You might want to consider making a wind screen. If you have a railing, you can make it with some pvc pipe, connectors, a tarp or clear shower curtain, nylon rope, and grommets. Before the cost of the grommeter, it would be about $50. https://pin.it/5GQCWPL

Horn_of_plenty on 08/10/2020:
very good idea about the wind screen as the wind is TERRIBLE up here....i will consider this...as a future project...maybe even a now project.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/10/2020:
but the screen cannot "change the look" of my balcony bc we are NOT allowed to alter the looks, i will be looking into options though, as the balcony is so nice to use & i would prefer it less windy out there...

happy-1 - Saturday Aug 08, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.6

Onwards and upwards. My eyes popped open at 3am this morning and I couldn't get back to sleep. Too early to make noise so I indulged in Internet stuff.

Yesterday, despite eating 5 ice cream sandwiches the night before, I fit back into old pants. So of course I ate a bag of mini donuts. Sigh.

At least I got a lovely card for morale boost from the Ex-ish. Who's a big sweetheart?

Yesterday I tackled the post office, groceries and patio cleanup. Today I will try to not burn myself out and plan meals between tasks.



And it totally worked. 


Pleasant surprises... Spraying the milk on the tomato plants did actually kill fungus.



Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/08/2020:
Was there something that was a predecessor for the card from ex-ish? that is so nice. :) Lately my own "R" is behaving like the biggest baby on earth. I actually told him i refuse to hang out with him today after he decided to yell and scream like a baby in my car yesterday. grrr.

happy-1 on 08/08/2020:
It was completely out of the blue... But he's good that way... Little things here and there that show he thinks about me. Anything that we can try to get my ancient puppy to eat (he figured out the frozen cheeseburgers), CBD lotions, pliers to hold over till I get new grips for my good ones, fancy lunches, a movie he'd think I'd like. Valentine's cards... He does all the little things my mom would do that just made me feel cared about.

happy-1 on 08/08/2020:
And then on the other hand... The crankypants sessions. Cranky just rolls in, something tiny bothers him, then everything bothers him, he realizes it's happening, goes and takes a break, and it rolls out again, like a rainstorm. Clear and sunny afterwards, but then I need recovery time. He handles it like a grown up... It's just it happens every freaking time I see him, not an 80/20 thing. I always think... How can he like me enough to want to be with me for the long haul if even the tiniest things bother him? You only get bothered by the small stuff if you don't actually like the person you are with and you are with them because they seem like a good choice (for whatever reason) but deep down you want something else.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/09/2020:
i feel your pain on the down days with these "boy men"

happy-1 - Friday Aug 07, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.6

Good morning DDers! Rise and shine!

So much to do today. So little time to do it... but I have one thing going for me that I did not have yesterday... an acceptable substitute for ice cream. Yes! You take a big thing of full fat greek yogurt, scoop some out into a mixing bowl, nuke it for 40 seconds, then stir in a bag of 70% dark chocolate chips and fold until they melt. Then you take the rest of the yogurt and fold it in till it is all one smooth, creamy, chocolate. Pour it into a silicone ice cube mold and you get fudgey frozen yogurt.

I also made a healthy dinner.

Factor75 nutritionist call did not pan out... I think they could have helped me 5 years ago before I made changes and lost weight, but I've already had the "whole unprocessed foods" talk... I was looking for help with getting a day of their meals with snacks at a 3500 calorie level aand she couldn't help me do it... She couldn't even send me a spreadsheet of their menu to order from so I could easily pick out which meals are higher sodium and avoid them.

So I sat down with a scraper app last night and scraped the nutritional information off their site into a google sheet.

I will conquer.

So much to do today and I don't know where to start...

Do I go to the post office and grocery store or work on the horrible piles of paperwork, rugs, kitchen linoleum, pests on the patio, or garage junk first?

I don't know anymore.


Somehow I am 226.6 at weigh in this morning despite eating 5 ice cream sandwiches last night. Down.1 lbs.


Progress as of today: 90.4 lbs lost so far, only 66.6 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/08/2020:
So yeah, sounds Like Factor75 isn't operating on such "high level" of phone time nutritional support team for you!

ah well.

but it goes to show you've come a long way and aren't such a beginner anymore!

seems you posted a lot when everyone else is not online on DD as much! that's a first!

happy-1 on 08/08/2020:
I'm picking up speed again. It's been a long haul.

happy-1 - Thursday Aug 06, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.7

Pushed myself past exhaustion point yesterday, woke up sore today. Starting with a mocha protein shake, oatmeal, supplements, and DD to smack my brain on.

Yesterday my Factor75 order showed a day late, partially open and warm... with 2 meals missing. I was there when it was delivered so it happened while it was with Fedex. Guess they swipe more than just firearms. They help themselves to a snack. I had to toss the whole thing for fear of salmonella. All that wasted food... Augh. Factor75 refunded to my balance and gave me a service credit. Try again next week.

Cranky frustrated because:

a) Hungry with nothing in the house on plan. I didn't eat enough yesterday so even though I slept enough I am super low energy this AM. I also didn't drink enough water yesterday so I am dehydrated and my muscles are all crampy.

b) The new thing to give me more hope and confidence didn't pan out... yet.

c) General feeling of having "lost" 2 days and about to lose a third... Aldi's and Sam's Club in my area have changed what they carry to "comfort food" items... Not a stalk of broccoli in sight. So I still need to go to another store today and then that steals a third day.

d) Driving really hurts (need to do yoga) and I wore myself out... so last night I made messes I now have to clean up. Burned pans, laundry that didn't work out, kitchen/bathrooms/floors I didn't clean up last night. Mess stress. Productivity today. Time, time, time.

e) I need to redo my entire schedule to move around all the things I didn't get done in the last 3 days. Time, time, time.

f) I need to scrap my meal plan and make a new one. Time, time, time.

g) I feel a little like I am letting my dad down because I shoved his food needs off onto the caregiver, but I am not achieving the things I said I would because I am spending 3 days resolving what didn't happen on plan. Not honoring my commitments. Kicking a sick puppy.

h) Overslept which always bums me out.

Slap in the face. Back on track. Important things today...

  • Coffee. Vitmins. Eat.
  • Pack meds
  • Make a new meal plan and grocery list of items I didn't get yesterday
  • 11AM - Factor75 nutritionist call
  • Dad paperwork
  • Laundry
  • 3:30pm put ancient  puppy on patio and set up for 4pm yoga online
  • Patio stuff... Pruning, pest photos, spread butterfly and humming bird mix, clothesline

Oh look at that. There's my brain.




Progress as of today: 90.3 lbs lost so far, only 66.7 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/08/2020:
i've heard such great things about Factor75 so i hope it gets better on your next attempt! also, sorry you overdid it...i experience mornings feeling how you did today, too.

happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 04, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.7

 Saw this today Donkey and thought of you... All these things go through my head too... but if you showed me a list of cognitive thought distortions I'd never relate to them.

Progress as of today: 90.3 lbs lost so far, only 66.7 lbs to go!

Donkey on 08/04/2020:
Thank you! I see myself in a lot of these (if not all). I'm especially guilty of #2 and #3. I've worked hard to reframe things cognitively, with some success, but sometimes it does take real effort.

happy-1 on 08/04/2020:
I think we are both smart women and don’t realize the crap we have running around in our heads because it seems logical... at the time. That’s what friends, beer, and yoga is for, right?

Except it’s quarantine and I don’t drink.

happy-1 on 08/04/2020:
I think we are both smart women and don’t realize the crap we have running around in our heads because it seems logical... at the time. That’s what friends, beer, and yoga is for, right?

Except it’s quarantine and I don’t drink.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/04/2020:
your post here is wonderful and i'm going to take the time to read it more closely after i exercise today. it's a rainy / stormy day here and i want to be active while i am motivated as i will probably be home most of today :)

like donkey, i can easily identify to these and need to adjust my perspective. thank you!

i honestly think you do a good job with your current stresses and being able to look at what you need to do for you...but of course, adjusting our perspectives can help us more as we do it more :)

happy-1 on 08/04/2020:
It’s that or homicide. I’d rather do therapy and play bingo.

Who else forgot how much fun bingo can be?

Horn_of_plenty on 08/04/2020:
thank you for stopping by happy to my site, i saw your comment and will reply later today on it! great questions, excellent post! i knew you would have some great things to share!!!! :)

happy-1 on 08/04/2020:
Wix is a fun way to build a site! No wonder you got so into it. Kind of like the adult version of Legos.

Horn_of_plenty on 08/05/2020:
yes Happy, Wix in your comparison to an adult version of Legos is just that ;)

happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 04, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.7

Breathing through anxiety today so that I can stick to my plan and get the things done that I need to get done. That yoga class I bailed on last night would be useful right now. Trigger is conflict with my dad last night (over my avoidance of folding and putting away his laundry and leaving it for the caregiver instead) and this morning (because neighbor's mail was misdeliverd to us and I gave it back to them instead of keeping it and reading it and NOT giving it to them). It's just a lot of unnecessary drama that steals time, effort, energy, and resources and keeps me trapped here.

But the Factor75 meals are coming today and that feels like a foothold of hope. 


More breathing.

Goals for today are to tackle dad business while I wait for the Factor75 delivery from Fedex. If it takes a long time to arrive, I will tackle the patio and take a whack at the microwave. If it comes early afternoon, I will do critical errands and grocery shopping I was supposed to do yesterday. Tomorrow is the 20 min call with the nutrition consultant from Factor75 so it isn't bad to wait on grocery shopping one more day.

For fitness, I will do the fitness test I was supposed to do two days ago.

For relaxation, I will catch up on Noom, the fitness challenge, and the readings I was supposed to do for bible study. I might go find a nice spot to park and truly get away.


None of the above happened. Dad had a high anxiety day and chased after me for things every time he saw me. Mostly to put his car on my insurance (which he does not pay for). I was stuck waiting for my giant Fedex delivery so no walking the dog or going around the corner for a breather. I had to ride it out... hungry because I emptied out the fridge and there was were my dad's heart failure meals (special place in hell for the family members who eat those instead of the patient), the high sodium frozen dinners he buys himself when he goes out with the caregiver, and a bunch of his high sodium, highly processed treats. I didn't starve... I have protein bars, almonds, protein powder, and apples... but when you got up at 5am and started working, it's lunch and nothing sticks to your ribs, your head, neck and back hurt because you need to build up your strength again, and a crazy old man is hammering on you to register and insure a car all you want to do is sell or donate... Then the Fedex truck goes by and you SEE your package with the Factor75 ribbon by his feet go by and NOT STOP... You need more.

So I dug the company is coming meal out of the freezer... chicken spinach feta sausage, box of spinach, garlic, onion, pasta, high end marinated artichokes, sour cream. I could swear there was white wine somewhere.

Guess mom already hit this point too.

Progress as of today: 90.3 lbs lost so far, only 66.7 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/05/2020:
Does your Dad drive his car? That was an issue for my Mom as well as my Father in Law......they weren't supposed to drive...but there sits their car...It was a constant worry that they might just decide to go drive it when they had no business doing that and no license either.

happy-1 - Monday Aug 03, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 226.7

Down another pound. Still 13lbs above my plateau from 2018 of 213, but a lot better than this year's high of 235.

Tried to do errands for myself today, but ended up doing dad stuff instead. Have more of it to do tonight. Couldn't even get to the grocery store for myself today.

Tried to do 6pm yoga but I couldn't get into it. Turns out I was too hungry to do yoga and couldn't feel it.

Bible study tonight, but I'm super restless.

Caregiver was here today. I could have taken a bath. It's all I can think about.


Laptop is fritzing out... Do I pioritize getting the backup drive out of storage tomorrow AM before it gets hot, or making calls to the east coast to settle dad business?


Progress as of today: 90.3 lbs lost so far, only 66.7 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 08/03/2020:
Totally up on the bath / shower needs! In the summer, i swear it feels like paradise every time i shower!

sorry you were hungry when attempting yoga. i cannot exercise hungry very often either. always snacking during my exercise.

my laptop also needs some kind of reboot / renewals according to the notifications...

happy-1 on 08/04/2020:
It’s not just the hunger it’s the temper tantrums and meltdowns that come out of nowhere because I can’t feel how hungry I am on the ADHD meds. I need one of those trackers that measures calories burned.

Oh I so very, very badly want an epsom salt bath.

What’s your favorite bath gel scent?

Horn_of_plenty on 08/04/2020:
I think the lavender scent! I have the epsom salts here...i just remembered i was thinking to use them today too!...let's see if i can fit them into my day also! :) even just a 15 min foot soak!

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