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happy-1 - Sunday Aug 02, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 228.4

Today is my first day up and moving around without pain. Clean eating and yoga are already helping.

Tomorrow starts week 1 of my 6 week push. Focusing on removing obstacles.

Yesterday it was pantry box sorting and kitchen cleanup. Today it is testing the igniter in the gas oven and cleaning out the guts of the microwave... which has turned into "Where did I put the bit driver?", which has turned into "I need to sort all the hardware I pulled out of the garage to see if there is another bit driver and a small wrench." UGH.

Taking a break, logging here. I tried to finish my Spoonacular meal plan, but couldn't figure out how to stay under 2300 mg of sodium... Factor75 gives you one free 20 minute call with a nutritionist, so I booked an appointment for Thursday, sent them my problem and my nutritional guidelines, and we will see how it goes.

Goals for this week are:

  • 25 situps/25 pushups a day
  • 3 yoga classes / week
  • 8 bottles of water a day
  • Eat on plan
  • Finish kitchen projects. Second microwave issue, oven igniter, floor
  • Read my Noom articles and weigh in daily
  • Read my fitness challenge articles

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

thinkpositive on 08/03/2020:
Are you happy with the Noom program?

happy-1 on 08/04/2020:
I am because it is a very cheap way to go back through everything I learned in the non traditional occupational therapy lifestyle redesign I attended after breaking my neck c1-c3. But I think I get more out of it because someone sat there and helped my knock some sense into my head.


Horn_of_plenty on 08/03/2020:
I'm so glad you are feeling better. I have had some pain from extra cardio walking i've been doing :) so luckily one thing that helps me currently is being able to sleep in for long periods of time allowing my body to heal up (i think!!)

let us know what happens with nutritionist and if you are able to make it under 23000mg sodium - this would be interesting for me to hear about!

love your pushups challenge. today i am focused back on some weights exercises.



happy-1 - Saturday Aug 01, 2020
(Week 0: Get ready for Week 1 to start on Monday)
Weight: 228.4

Today I worked on my meal plans for this week (calling it week 0).

Garmin says I am burning between 4500 and 7000 calories a day.

 

Cronometer says if I am 5'10", 228lbs with 37% bodyfat and burning 4,500 calories a day, I should be working with a 3,500 calorie budget and shooting for 218g protein, 349g carbs, 136g fat.

So I crunched what that would mean in terms of normal food instead of the meal delivery stuff... and I didn't even get close to those targets. It looks like the eating regimen of a teenage wrestler who is about to have a growth spurt. I;d have to eat way more than I am eating now... and then STILL eat 2 Factor75 meals.

 Burn 4500 Cal / Eat 3500 Cal Day 

 

 

 

 

Price

Calories

Protein

Fat

Carbs

 

Goal

 

$12.00

3,500

218

136

349

 

Total

 

$15.84

2693

194

117.5

232

No murdering when you wake up

Coffee with Almond Milk

16oz of filtered water

$0.58

34

1

2

1

Breakfast

Sunday breakfast: 1 sausage, 2 eggs, 1 piece toast with butter and jam

16oz of filtered water

$1.79

425

27

25

25

 

3 Cups of Broccoli

 

$0.60

92

7

 

18

Second Breakfast

2 Hard Boiled Eggs, Hummus Cup, Cherry Tomatoes, Almonds

16oz of filtered water

$2.39

272

17

17

13

Lunch

Turkey Chili

16oz of filtered water

$2.94

271

28

9

18

 

2 Cups of Spinach

 

$0.54

13

1

0

2

 

1 Cup Mexican Veg

 

$1.14

50

2

0.5

11

Snack

Apple and Almond Butter

16oz of filtered water

$1.40

284

7

18

31

Dinner

Leftover Rotisserie Chicken Dinner with 1/2 a Sweet Potato and 3 cups broccoli

16oz of filtered water

$1.98

558

64

17

40

Dessert

think! High Protein Bar, Double Caramel Bliss

16oz of filtered water

$1.50

240

20

8

26

No murdering in the evening either

Tortillas and Cheese

16oz of filtered water

$0.98

454

20

21

47

 

And that is how I wasted the majority of my day.

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 08/01/2020:
I go by one rule when it comes to a company that sells "stuff" and that is that their bottom line depends on you buying their stuff...therefore...what they tell me I NEED has nothing to do with MY real needs...but does have everything to do with their bottom line $$$$$$$$. From my understanding...if you take your current weight and multiply it by 12...you get the amount of daily calories that it takes to maintain that weight by my calculation 228 X 12 = 2,736......that is just to maintain....then...if you take the weight you want to be and multiply that by 12...it should give you the calories to eat per day to lost to that. I don't know how you could possibly need over 4,000 calories per day unless you were running a marathon daily...

happy-1 on 08/01/2020:
I AM running a marathon daily. Dad is over 300lbs, almost blind, end stages diabetic, congestive heart failure, possibly aspergers, an emotional train wreck, and partial assist... which means transfers and toileting. I am making his meals, which are terrible nutrition but all he will eat. I am too tired to make something different for him and everything hurts. I’m buying meal delivery for 3 months to break the cycle and have the things my body needs to build the muscles in my neck back up and not clog up the works with processed foods. I’m also cleaning out the garage which is awful and hoarded to the ceiling. I don’t see any other way around meal delivery until I feel better again.

happy-1 on 08/01/2020:
The formula you are using is basically your BMR... Base Metabolic Rate. That’s what your body needs to maintain your weight if you are laying in bed and not moving... Then there is the activity level modifier which is BMR * .9 for the strenuous job level. However, my understanding is that an individual’s variants change that. A leaner bodyfat will make you burn more. So will a lot of resistance activity (like helping a morbidly obese dad in and out of bed and pushing his wheelchair) which releases testosterone and HGH. Medications also increase heart rate... like ADHD meds, which are amphetamine salts. Also that .9 assumes you work an 8 hr day. I “work” a 16 hr day, except on the days the caregiver is here... then I get a bath for 1.5 hours and work a 14.5 hour day.

happy-1 on 08/01/2020:
I went back and edited this post to add a screenshot of a day’s calories from Garmin.

happy-1 on 08/01/2020:
And also the biometrics from my scale


bearcountrygg on 08/01/2020:
I just looked up factor75 and was shocked...according to what is just on their home page....the weekly meals they list come to 297.04 a week....$1,200 a month for 1 person....I would be very suspicious....those numbers don't add up Hap.

happy-1 on 08/01/2020:
That’s all unprocessed meal delivery services. Factor75 is actually better pricing than it looks on the surface because they use prepay to lower costs, and will apply any promotion and coupon they offer to your weekly purchase. So... a $15 meal with $925 prepay is $11. The last 2 coupon codes were $120 total... so now 1.5 weeks in a $15 meal is down to $7.88. My friend is doing it to get ready for gastric bypass surgery and his average price per meal is down to $5.36 right now. If you figure an insured and bonded caregiver from a service to help cook and prepare meals while I clean out a nightmare hoarder garage between me and sticking my dad in assisted living so I can go back to work is $27/hr but doesn’t have any real understanding of how to eat healthy and meal prep for improving quality of life with a neck injury... I’d rather spend on meal delivery and get a reliable product I can plan around.


grannyannie on 08/01/2020:
I love spreadsheets for my stuff!

happy-1 on 08/01/2020:
Right? Great for working out a problem mentally


Donkey on 08/01/2020:
I've suspected that I haven't been eating enough for my activity level. I do 2-4 workouts a day, but then the rest of the workday, I sit on my butt. A LOT. <<Actually, that's very indicative of my life - living the extremes, it seems.

Anyway, as you are taller, which is wonderful by the way, your caloric base level will be higher than mine. And yes, you do have a very strenuous activity level, unless it's a day that you have a break. (Far and few in between.)

As I read it, I think Bear was just trying to caution you on gimmicks, but it looks to me like you've done your homework. I say try the higher calorie levels and see how you do. GO FOR IT. You might find that it really helps you with energy, better sleeping, less "going off the deep end" with food that is NOT nutritious.

So yes, I'd be interested to read about your journey into higher calories. I feel very positive about at least trying it out. AND I completely support having a meal service, if you can afford it, in your situation. I think being a caretaker is one of the toughest, thankless jobs out there.

If you find that the higher calories are not serving you well, well then... back to the drawing board. Ooh, I'm excited to see how this works for you!

happy-1 on 08/02/2020:
If you think your calorie levels aren't high enough... Why not try increasing them with a couple of tablespoons of coconut oil in your coffee and throughout the day? It will help burn body fat and improve brain function. I haven't been doing this since I switched to almond milk, and I think it's one of the reasons I keep going off the deep end with food.

I think I was having an "I'm too hungry meltdown" when I responded to Bear... I'm having a lot of those.

Thank you for your support!

Being a caregiver would be better if it were a job... I'm doing this for free till I can get him settled and I can go back to work. The way I see it I can't afford not to try and make this one thing easier. A $250 higher food cost for a month or two is nowhere near the expense of not earning a full time income.


bearcountrygg on 08/01/2020:
Donkey is absolutely correct...I was trying to caution you against gimmicks.....I also will be interested in seeing how this works for you.

happy-1 on 08/03/2020:
Aaaaaaaaaw... Thank you. I love that you are looking out for me.



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 30, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

Ok. One more time. Back on the horse.

I think I've jumped on a million horses. Or one very stubborn and unfriendly mule.

One more try to break the cycle of my neck hurts so I eat junk. I eat junk, so my neck hurts and I flop over and don't work out. Not a way to feel great and have tons of fun adventures. Right now I don't even feel up to driving 30+ min to go see the Ex-ish and not have any fun.

BUT... I have been scraping away at it with a butter knife. I start again on Tuesday. 

Last time I started up again in March, I had just completed setting up my bedroom with a yoga spot and my mountain bike on a cheap Aldi's trainer and subscribed to online yoga. I was foiled by not thinking through where my dog would go while I was doing yoga. Everytime I tried to put her in the bathroom, living room, dad's bedroom, patio, or crate drama would ensue and I'd have a huge mess to clean up and pretty much just want to die.

NOW... I have setup the patio with mom's garden, a doggie camp cot, dog house, shade sail, self-filling water bowl, and a barrier at the bottom of the stairs so she can't bang the door down. We wake up, I stick her in an Ikea bag and carry her out to the patio and release her to pee and poop and take a nap outside. I pour myself iced coffee and almond milk (made ahead) and while I wait for my brain to turn on (I stagger around like a zombie for like 35min... I'm awful) I pick up all the pee-soaked towels and stick them in the washer, wipe down the floor, roll out out my yoga mat, flip on the laptop and plug in the executive board room webcam that is perfect for online yoga, do the yoga, collapse for a little me time, then open the door and face the horror of the day, whatever it may contain.

Friday I told the caregiver that she's in charge of feeding my dad and taking him grocery shopping. I'm subscribing to a meal delivery service. I can't be in chare of food and clean out the garage.

Saturday and Sunday, I passed on seeing the Ex-ish. I packed supplements and cleaned my room.

Monday, I told them they also needed to book his various appointments on their own since he keeps cancelling them. I will be too busy cleaning out the garage.

Tuesday, I setup AC in my bedroom. If dad can have AC, I can have AC. I did a yoga class.

Wednesday, they did their own appointments. I didn't even get him ready to go.

Today, I worked on stuff for myself, did a yoga class, and made turkey chilli.

Tomorrow I will do yoga, pay bills, clean some more and work on the garden.

This weekend I will purge the fridge and do more yoga.

Tuesday, 18 meals from a paleo meal delivery service show up. It's too expensive, I can't afford it. I can't not afford it because I need to be in better shape to get out and look for work.

Sometimes I just feel like I am throwing random rocks at each other with the expectation of coming out with a castle.

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/31/2020:
I need more yoga in my life too...

Well, at least you are trying. I thought of the ancient saying, Fall down seven, get up eight.

As long as we keep trying, that's half the battle won.

happy-1 on 07/31/2020:
Right? I always think of that Shaker song "To turn, turn, shall be our delight till by turning turning we come round right."


Horn_of_plenty on 07/31/2020:
better sometimes to get organized...than to go out and play with ex-ish! hahaha!

good stuff you are doing for dad, too! stay strong!

happy-1 on 07/31/2020:
Right? More boring, but at least I'm not sitting there going, "I shaved my legs for this?"


legcramps on 07/31/2020:
I agree with Donkey and feel that, even if you think you keep falling off the horse (or unfriendly mule) you're still making progress by continuing to get up and keep going. That's the most important step isn't it?

happy-1 on 07/31/2020:
Yeah, I get where I'm going even if I'm chasing the mule 80% of the way there, right?


bearcountrygg on 07/31/2020:
Good idea to put caregiver in full care of dad...he will probably give her less trouble.....I know my Mom would take any strangers word over mine....been there.

happy-1 on 07/31/2020:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh.

Today he wanted me to take him to the grocery store because "we were out of food". Then I realized we are just out of diet coke and ice cream.



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 22, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

Binges on ice cream yesterday. Almost an entire gallon. Augh. Stress eating while trying to do paperwork. At least I was productive.

Goal for today is a bath when the caregiver takes dad out.

Supposed to see the Ex-ish today, but I flaked.

----

B: 2 No sugar added fudge pops, 1/2 a frozen pizza 

L: turkeyroni

S: 1/2 a pizza, tons of water

S: 2 chicken legs

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/22/2020:
just like you, one of the most delightful events of today was a nice shower and washing of my hair. oh, how nice it feels in the summertime!

sorry about your stress eating. i understand it and i have been there. make today better. maybe try to make sure you are having snacks so you curb your appetite!

also, do you have any veggies or healthy things at home to help you - so at least one meal can include a veggie? (i try to do this most days as i don't really crave veggies much while at home every day as much as i wanted them when i worked outside of the house and was up more hours and sleeping less, hungry more, eating more....so i'd reach for veggies!)

happy-1 on 07/30/2020:
But the ice cream sandwiches are so delicious...


grannyannie on 07/22/2020:
A nice long bath is so relaxing.

happy-1 on 07/31/2020:
Oh with the epsom salt? Heaven.


bearcountrygg on 07/22/2020:
Love my baths.....too!

happy-1 on 07/31/2020:
I remember when I was so relaxed they didn't make that much of a difference... Now it's the only thing I think about or want.



happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 21, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

Woke up yesterday and discovered that the last of the black dye had washed out of my hair with the Metally and skipped the botanical gardens to be able to stay home and dye my hair while the caregiver took dad out. I also did my nails. Oh the luxury. It felt good to wake up and like what was in the mirror. Hair came out a little dark, but it will wash out and I can try again with a lighter shade. Maybe do a color melt. Dying for a short shag haircut, but that will have to wait till the virus stuff is managed.

Oh the luxury of a caregiver and not dealing with dad's demands to go to Ralph's, which wears me out.

Dad said last night that he is having terrible pains. I said it sounded like hypoxia from being an ornery old cuss that won't wear his oxygen. I told him to start wearing the Life Alert necklace because I could be asleep or out back with my phone off and my watch charging or out runnning errands. He said OK. I also said you are having problems because you are eating badly. You were a 3x last year and now you are a 4x heading to a 5x. You need to cut out the sodium. He said me cooking was too much trouble. I said, no me cooking was better for me... We fought about food so much I just gave up on everything. I'm having a lot of health problems because of it. I'd rather go back to cooking. He said OK. I asked "Can I throw out what is in the fridge currently that is high sodium and doesn't fit your needs?" You would think I had offered to sacrfice the cat to a pagan deity, the way he looked at me. "No, we just won't buy any more." OK. Guess we aren't really ready for change. I emailed the caregiver agency to ask them for help...  I see the guidance as:

1. Education on what other families are doing to accommodate diet and different generations taste and chewing ability.
2. Looking at what changes we need to make to do that.
3. Looking at the time/hours we get from your service and how they could be better structured to make that happen.
 
4. Educating and collaborating with a caregiver to make that happen. Like that a diabetic/congestive heart failure/renal diet means looking at other labels on the shelf to find the low sodium brand even if it isn't labeled that way... or only getting the caffeine-free diet coke. I haven't been really doing a lot of coaching on that mostly because I just want him to like her and give her more hours.
 
I've fallen off meal prepping for myself. I used to make 49 bodybuilder meal prep meals for myself a week. I am not doing any of that right now, even yoga. I could use some help getting back on track too. Maybe catch some energy for that from them.
 
Continuing to play with Spoonacular, see if that is a solution for meal planning and grocery shopping.

---

Up: 5:20 AM. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

B: Real brewed coffee with superfood creamer and almond milk. Think! bar.

L:

D:

Snacks:

 

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/21/2020:
it's def very difficult the older people get and the more set in their ways they are to be so opposed to change. but it's good that you will not (hopefully) by those unhealthy foods again for your dad. try to see what you can swap to make healthier choices for him but still give him what he wants. for example, if he eats bacon, switch to turkey/chicken bacon (still high salt so you don't wanna give too much...). if he likes, do the egg whites...

if he likes meat, go for turkey...these are just basic.

does he like veggies, i'm guessing no?

happy-1 on 07/22/2020:
LOL... Tried all that. Huge battle. Sent an email to the caregiver agency and he can sort it out with them.


bearcountrygg on 07/21/2020:
Well...basically you do have 2 choices.....only bring in what you want him to eat...and listen to his complaining...or get him the food he wants and make him happy but know that it's not healthy for him. ......I'm wondering if the doctor gave him a specific diet plan since he has several health problems......similar to D who is diabetic, kidney stone, and high cholesterol and blood pressure....he also doesn't want to stop the food favorites...he also doesn't want an amputation like his sister, or another kidney stone to go with the current one, he doesn't feel good on the cholesterol meds....it really is a lose lose situation......What if you made a list of acceptable foods for him and let him pick what he likes...then if he complains....remind him he wanted that.......right now around here...we are still figuring out what is best for him....and it can get very confusing......but we are working on it........but I'm encouraging D to pick some things himself and it seems to work better for us.


thinkpositive on 07/22/2020:
You certainly have some challenges. Maybe there is a compromise with food- not to entirely convert to only healthy foods, but to have healthy food 75 % of the time & food that he enjoys 25 % of the time?


Donkey on 07/22/2020:
You've gotten some good ideas here with dad.



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 19, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

New week. Back on the horse. Starting the day with a healthy coffee, chocolate protein powder, and almond milk drink.

Decided to see the Ex-ish on Wednesday. I'll just tell him ahead of time that I am too stressed and worn out to take a cranky tantrum and I have to go home immediately if he starts one. See if he can pull it together if I make it clear ahead of time that it's not OK. I'm not his mom and he's not 5.

I think I actually got enough rest yesterday to see the back of the weird butt kicking i got from all the spider bites. Today is a chore day.

MY BEDROOM

Where I am starting from

  • Rough sort of my mail
  • Review card statements
  • Pay bills
  • List of calls to make on Monday for dad
  • Plug in printer
  • Print weekly lotto ticket reward worksheets
  • Properly make bed (after the cat moves)
  • Straighten up
  • Clean bathroom

SELF CARE

  • Hot oil treatment/ dye removal I didn't do yesterday because I was too tired
  • Nails

PATIO

  • Sweep up
  • Water plants

DINING ROOM

  • Wait for the wetvac filter
  • Check that the wetvac filter is the right size
  •  Print return for wet vac filter

KITCHEN

  • Dishes
  • Straighten up
  •  Make something for dinner that looks like real food

LIVING ROOM

  • Finish sorting out the recycling papers and make sure there is nothing that needs to be shredded

UNEXPECTED DRAMA

  • Clean dog poop off back stairs and dog
  • And me

----

Made dad a healthy salmon dinner last night and he complained because it wasn't breaded. Sigh.

---

Dog pooped on the stairs and then walked in it and must also have fallen in it. I also ended up covered in poop. Second shower. Can I order takeout for dinner? I barely did anything today but I am so tired.

---

Ubelievable infestation of aphids in garden, despite neem oil.

---

Up: 7

B: Protein shake, coffee, almond milk

L: hummus, pita chips, cherry tomatoes, 2 string cheeses, 

Snack: Protein brownie

D: 

Snack:

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2020:
my friend R does the tantrums and it bothers me so much! last night got into a huge fight with him as he was throwing mini tantrums the whole evening and i just had ENOUGH!

i'm doing some cleaning also of the bathroom :)

happy-1 on 07/19/2020:
Augh. Does R throw tantrums for hours over little things like you took too long or tried too many different movies to try and get to one you like? Or that you didn't call and let him know you were on your way? Because the idea of a long car trip with the Ex-ish just makes me picture myself jumping out of a moving vehicle to get away.


grannyannie on 07/19/2020:
You are so ambitious. I do much better with a list as well.

happy-1 on 07/19/2020:
It's all on me. Even with help in... Then it's on me to manage them and I might as well have done it myself.


Donkey on 07/19/2020:
That is a lot of chores to do - good to have a list to keep you organized. And it feels so good to cross one of those suckers off the list when finished!

happy-1 on 07/19/2020:
I make a list of everything I need to do... And then realize I could never, ever possibly do it all. And get discouraged. And end up on the Internet for hours.


bearcountrygg on 07/19/2020:
That is a huge list........would it help to pick 3 or 4 things for the day...and if you have the desire to do more...pick another? I can easily get discouraged too if I try to do more than I really can manage....I just feel better when the expectations start low and I feel good about that...and add another chore if I want.

happy-1 on 07/19/2020:
I just kind of brainstorm and start at the top and do as much as I can. Anything that doesn't get done... Doesn't get done. I need to be better about finishing projects before starting new ones... It creates too much chaos. The dog poop drama today was worse because there was stuff at the bottom of the stairs that I need to go through and look for shredding and hazmat disposal. The living room is a mess because I have hardware to sort, an art tower to do *something* with, hardware to sort, papers to go through, food in bins to keep out pests, photo albums in progress... all of which aren't happening because I need to clean the rugs and treat for fleas.

AUGH


Horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2020:
Yes, R throws the same types of tantrums.

happy-1 on 07/19/2020:
AUGH


Maria7 on 07/20/2020:
The salmon sounds wonderful. I don't bread mine, either. You are such a good Daughter!

happy-1 on 07/21/2020:
Thanks! Pro organizer says it still counts as being a good daughter even if I do something while being on my last nerve and a little scary, lol.



happy-1 - Saturday Jul 18, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

Worked all week past my exhaustion point on cleaning out the house and chores. Slept 14h. At complete burnout point. Just surfing the Internet, streaming TV, and eating some brownies from a mix. The dishes have piled up, but I am not feeling the big desire to wash them and cook a meal.

I am out of frozen pizza.

Dog is determined to sleep anywhere but a designated pee pad. It's a constant mess and she's dripping with pee all the time now.Every day is a bath, sometimes twice a day.

I miss my mom. I would like to be watching TV with her right now.

To recharge...

  1. Today, I will do another pass at fading the black dye. I will listen to my favorite radio show and walk my dog.
  2. Sunday, probably a chore day. Clean the carpet in the dining room.
  3. Monday, follow up phone calls then solo outing to the botannical gardens. I need a good day out badly.
  4. Tuesday... Chore day.
  5. Wednesday... Exish wants to get together but I don't really feel that one. He gets upset over something small, has a tantrum, and then has to be coaxed out of it. It's more fun than being here at home... but...

---

Shotgunning water and doing dishes. Slap in the face. Snap out of it.

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/19/2020:
Don't wear yourself out. A long sleep and a recharge is a good idea.

happy-1 on 07/19/2020:
Thanks!!!! I needed it.


Donkey on 07/19/2020:
Some days are harder than others. Grief comes in waves... Do your best not to get pulled under.

happy-1 on 07/21/2020:
Hugs. Grief seems to be more like a sad sloth that follows me from room to room.



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 15, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

Smacking myself and starting over. Everyday is a chance to wake up and do better. Just because I woke up desperately unhappy doesn't mean I need to stay that way. Getting up and just getting started cleaning. Getting moving helps.

---

Up 10am. Slept 14h due to spider bites after working on cleaning out the garage. Just super wiped and itchy.

B: cookies, water

L: 1/2 a frozen pepperoni pizza.

 

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/15/2020:
One foot in front of the other......

happy-1 on 07/18/2020:
And again and again...


Donkey on 07/16/2020:
Keep trying! One meal at a time.

My husband is in the middle of a cleaning out the garage project. It keeps him busy and active. But I hadn't considered that he could get a spider bite. With his suppressed immunity system, that might hit him hard.


grannyannie on 07/16/2020:
Getting moving always helps your mood. Good luck!


legcramps on 07/16/2020:
You're so right - we can always change the direction of our day with enough determination! You've got this.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2020:
totally with you....

we can always start over or take another attempt.

in fact, that's what i am doing myself! i had done no cardio yesterday and knew that in order to get it in today, it was best to start it in the morning before i delve into my work!

my cardio has been very poor for about a couple weeks since i broke my toe, so, i will have to get back on the cardio path when it's better..



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 15, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

 Picking it back up again and pulling things back together... again. I missed my mom so much, I had a frozen pizza, diet coke, half a box of chocolate chip cookies, and half a bag of pita chips about it. Then got super tired but weirdly stayed up till 2am. 

Tomorrow is another day.

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/15/2020:
For different reasons, but with respect to food only, I'm in rather a similar spot. And all we can do, with respect to eating, is to try to do better.

You are not alone, although you may feel very lonely.


grannyannie on 07/15/2020:
Yes, tomorrow is another day. You'll get back on track.


thinkpositive on 07/15/2020:
We get it. Start again.


bearcountrygg on 07/15/2020:
Just restart...it's okay!



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 05, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 228.4

Everyone survived July 4. It was a super hard day. Pets and fireworks don't mix, and I had a big cleanup job. It wore me out and I had zero fun. Not happy that this is how my time is going, so yesterday and today I did new checklists. They don't really do anything, but at least I feel like I did something, lol. 

Trying a new format for food logging where I use rows for days and meals, then columns for veg, protein, complex carbs, and cheats. At least see the pattern.

---

Chocolate protein powder, instant espresso, almond milk (Delicious)

1/2 a frozen thin crust cheese pizza + spinach + mushrooms

No sugar added, vanilla ice cream

Progress as of today: 88.6 lbs lost so far, only 68.4 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 07/06/2020:
Good idea to log your food that way.


KathyBlue on 07/06/2020:
Oh yeah, pets and fireworks :( Every year, animal shelters and associations try to call attention of owners and other people to be responsible about their and others' animals... It must be the same everywhere...


bearcountrygg on 07/06/2020:
I'm switching things up again myself this week.....boredom sets in for me...or maybe I just haven't found the right fit to stay interested....not sure...but I could see it all coming right back on again again if I slack.....been there done that!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/06/2020:
if the current logging format of meals is not appealing, it's good you are trying something new :)

sorry your pets were so scared!


Maria7 on 07/07/2020:
Our neighbor did the fireworks. I guess our chickens didn't know what to think, nor our cats. Hope you have a good day.



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