Used my simplyfit knockoff board to do their 21day challenge video last night. It didn't feel like much of a workout but I got really sore and had a hard time getting to sleep after. Still sore this morning and up later than I would like... 8:30. Fitbit says I got 7+ hours but it feels like 4. Took a hot shower but starting slow out of the gate today.
Too tired to do bedtime meditation last night.
My intention for today is balance.
My fitness pride yesterday was that I did 8 of 10 key fitness activities (meals, supplements, workouts, meditation) despite challenges from The Circus, and that I did 3 of 5 personal business items that were critical.
My obstacles were: pain, recovery from tooth infection that made me woozy, adhd sensory overwhelm (everything too loud, too bright, too distracting to focus).
My heroic vision for today: Get critical things done for the edd, then meet my friend for $5 movies, and hopefully still make the DA meeting tonight.
My selfless act was going to the post office to get boxes for the any soldier care packages and giving my mom my chicken cesar salad from Costco for dinner and my dad a rotisserie chicken meal I had prepped. Both were already accounted for in my calorie plan for this week but I will make it up later. It wasn't my night to make dinner but they wore themselves out doing The Circus today and weren't up to figuring out dinner. I wasn't well enough to cook.
My 3 things I am thankful for 1) I found my checkbook, 2) I didn't actually lose my wallet, 3) my mom helped me not lose a key domain registration after I thought I lost my wallet and cancelled my credit cards by letting me use hers to do a 1 year renewal for $13.95 on her card... my whole life would have been toast and the deadline was today and it wouldn't take my emergency gift card!!! Only registered cards. 4) my dog ate most of her dinner last night, ending a hunger strike.
My vision for what life will be like when I am fit: I will have better focus and attention. I will recover faster emotionally. I will have more energy, take fewer breaks and be more effective with my day. I will be able to fit in fun and get to sleep faster. I will have more capacity for friendships, relationships and kin keeping. I will have more will power and be more in alignment with God/primary values.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
230.6 post-breakfast. Downward trend!!!
Pulling it together this morning. Getting through the bedtime habits took me from about 11:30 till 1:40AM, largely due to the pile of dishes and having to finish assembling meals (I started on Saturday, but teeth were hurting so I had to stop and put away halfway through). Got up at about 7:45, and then it took a while to get started because my brain would just not come together. The song on the radio was one associated with a bad memory and it got stuck in my head like an earworm, the memory replaying along with it.
About 5 hours behind on my vision of success for today, but I am dressed, caffinated and ready to tackle it as best I can. Going to have to get out of the house and find Internet. This dog thinks I should go back to bed and wants to be in constant contact with my body which I find very distracting.
---
Great video on mastering social anxiety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8GSf5cYCvE
---
Was out fast enough to escape The Circus and be productive today.... until I realized I lost my checkbook and panicked. It was safe and sound in it's black cover in my black purse for the whole 3h I spent looking for it. 8 hours behind in productivity for the day and I need a nap because I came home to look for it and The Circus turned me into roadkill. Timer is set for 20 min. Napping w my puppy. Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
231.2. Still up but on a down trend!
Made carrot cake overnight oats and I have to tell you IT IS FANTASTIC!!!! I get huge cravings for carrot cake and this definitely satisfies my sweet tooth. It's about half a cup of grated carrots, 1/3 cup oats, 1/4 cup walnuts, 1 scoop vanilla protein powder, cinnamon, raisins, and water. I also power it up with grated ginger, chia meal, flax meal and coconut oil. Let sit overnight and then reheat. So easy and soooo good. That is in my permanent rotation now. Yum!!!!
Plan for the day is to go seek coffee and get myself in order for the week. I wanted to go to services tonight but I have meat I need to make up and that's going to take a bit.
Btw... I forgot to mention that after all the crap Molly gave me over the Fitbit and my various emergency supplies that I keep in my car (I'm always worried about earthquakes and floods as I come to and from my adventures), Molly has purchased the Fitbit Aria 2 scale AND a prefab emergency kit from a catalog. What. A. Hooker. So much crap on both... One nearly cost me her friendship because she thought I was saying she's fat and should lose weight. The other was a huge fight whenever we hang out because she thinks that it's a sign I'm going crazy. (I'm not. I just keep my backpacking pack in my car and a hiking outfit plus some coast guard water and bars. It's just double duty. I can go on sierra club hikes and carry my pack for conditioning then put it back in my car for emergencies and pop it into someone else's if we use their car... which is where the fight starts with Molly because she didn't understand what the value of having emergency supplies in your car are and I would put my backpacking pack in her trunk when we'd do a car trip. Ugh.) Never mind that the kit she bought is complete crap and probably not great in an actual emergency... At least it is something. I can help her make a better kit over time. So very, very validating.
---
Achieved my vision of success for today by getting out for a hamburger and putting together my week... during which I realized that I need to get scholarship applications together by 7am tomorrow so that I can get paperwork submitted. The whole root canal thing really threw me and I realized that I need to get my **** together ASAP because I need to be approved and enrolled by April 4th. OMFG. Had to flake on making dinner and go to Starbucks to work on it. This one is open till 9pm I think.
BUT... Heroic success... I have gotten through my entire "drag bag" of undone paperwork and unopened mail and made a to-do list of what I need to do to get back on track.
AND my credit score sucks considerably less. I still need to work on it to be able to do anything with it, BUT... It is getting better. Another few months and I might be able to rent a studio apartment when I find a gig wherever I find one. So much more is possible.
---
Mulling over whether I should get cosmetic repairs made to my car and get a part time job driving for Lyft. I hate driving and try to stay off the road, but it would be easy enough to do. There are some horrible news stories about people driving for these services though and I dunno if I want to do that.
----
Bedtime meditation (aaaaah clean sheets and a warm puppy)
I've been in a big earthquake and a big flood. I guess I picture it like a matrix... There are a bunch of events that could happen in order of probability from left to right. You start on the left and work your way to the right. The problem is that I live in the hornets nest of LA and any event that lasts more than 72 hours, I am mostly screwed and anything I stock/store without home protection is just supplying my neighbors. Also my parents don't believe in making an organized effort to prepare and can't pull off putting together kits so I am still working on getting emergency bags together for them out of what is here. It's been a couple of years now that I am stuck at this point...
Also nice job on getting thru lots of paperwork and getting so much done in general.
Regarding a fight with your friend Molly, it seems the fight isn't permanent seeing that you are putting a new emergency kit together for her, perhaps, and/or that you are just thinking of her. that is nice. My friendship with my past best friend is gone. I'm glad yours is not...
seems the best thing with friendships is to take breaks when you need, but my old best friend didn't understand, at all, my need to have some time away, and so it's over now.
232.8 ... still a little up but not as much as I was. I will start fitness and nutrition tracking again on Monday... but it still felt good and reassuring to weigh in and then eat a tub of power overnight oats and drink my coffee that I set up last night. If only protein powder worked like a coffee creamer.
I actually was able to sleep in my own bed last night. I've been sleeping upright on the couch for two weeks. My dog was funny last night. She kept herding me into bed over and over. She was so excited when I actually got in and laid down. She has been really anxious about me. This morning she crawled up for extra good morning cuddles. I haven't taken the codeine yet and was able to make it through doing my hair just on ibuprofen. ---- Major accomplishment for today was to take a load to hazmat collection. I filled up the whole passenger seat. Then I went grocery shopping and tried to replace the battery for my drill. No luck.
----
Bedtime meditation
3 grats 1) my parents, 2) that I am starting to get things together,3) that I have a good place to go tomorrow morning
Fitness pride: I worked on cleaning up at home and bought healthy groceries
Obstacles: pain, tired, lonely, dog won't eat
Success: coffee somewhere, maybe evening services
Selfless act: nothing today.
Intention for tomorrow is to heal.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
I've taken codeine in the past (used to get major pain from Raynauds disease) - I don't know if you've used it before but, in case you haven't, it can cause constipation. Also it's a good idea to avoid taking on an empty stomach. It's not the funnest drug to have to take but it can be useful for severe pain.
Missing the DA meeting tonight since I am still on pain killers and can't drive. It feels a little like someone whacked me in the head straight on with a baseball bat. Giving myself a few days to bounce back and starting over on Monday with diet and fitness. Went to Costco today and got protein piwder, broccoli, blueberries, chicken, and vitamins.
I deeply wish I had frozen yogurt. Watching Bachelor Winter Games... It's actually pretty good... horrified I like it. I blame the pain killers.
---
Bedtime meditation... 2 days worth:
1 - 3 grats: 1) for my mom who drove my car back from the endodontist and then after to run errands yesterday, as well as to costco today. It meant that I could be on pain meds steadily and I really needed them. She isn't physically up to much and even that is a strain... and she's ony 65! It was a real sacrifice on her part. 2) for my dad yesterday who ate my homemade turkey burrito bowls without complaint when that was what I could pull together after my root canal. He was chomping at the bit to go to McDonalds but it was raining and my mom was wrecked. 3) for the endodontist who fit me in for the next day appointment and said gentle encouraging things while I toughed out a super painful and expensive procedure, 4) for the dental assistant who was just nice to me and chatted about happy pleasant distracting things and put me at ease, 5) for the money to pay for it, 6) for feeling better today, 7) for whatever pharmacist at costco stocked extra adhd meds so I didn't have to special order this time when I was down to my last 2 days. I forgot to put in my order ahead and sometimes it can take a week or more... I am super glad I didn't have to go through withdrawl or lose effectiveness this week when I am starting to pull it back together.
2 - Obstacles: Pain, money, not being able to drive. Dog is frustrated and restless. My life is chaotic and a wreck. Molly is still drifting away. I feel lonely. Pain meds meant missing the DA meeting tonight.
3 - Heroic vision of success - Tomorrow I will work on my application for a scholarship and certify for edd benefits.
4 - Selfless act - Yesterday I told the lady in the waiting room at the dentist that the giant yelp of pain and sound of kicking was me and it was because I had a terrible huge abcess, and that the Dr does very good work and her daughter was in good hands so that she would be at ease. Today, I heard my dad complaining that he couldn't eat breakfast because there was no butter so I got up and made hm pancakes, sausage, and eggs even though it wasn't on my schedule and I was supposed to be able to sleep in. Then I sat and had breakfast with him this morning and tried to keep him company (although I was kind of insufferable because pain meds hadn't kicked in yet so I dunno any of it counts.)
5 - Set your intention for tomorrow - To heal
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
Root canal done. OMG.
Big hugs to all here. TTYL tomorrow.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
Forgot to weigh in. Was up at 6 (alarm). Cruising on ibuprophen.
---
Changed dental consults today. Just couldn't get over that nervous, sick feeling about going up to the one I was referred to. This one comes highly recommended from my old dentist and they use 3D Cone-Beam Imaging instead of x-rays. 3D Cone Beam imaging shows them the crack or split and how far down it goes, the abcesses and how they are spreading or burst, where all the roots are, if they curve, and how far down they go. This makes the process safer and cleaner and leaves less risk of post-treatment issues. The total amount is only $100 more including a permanent filling than the one I was referred to and I feel a lot calmer about the whole thing.
---
Goal today is to get my car smogged.
---
Car is smogged! Registration is paid! On time! No penalty! Happy day! I was so happy I gave my puppy cuddles and squishes for an hour while watching Agent Carter on Hulu. She put up with many insults to her person, no spot went un-rubbed, every inch was spooned. Much fur was released. No dog cuddles harder than an old dog. I gave up when she grumbled at me. Nap time for the puppy.
Celebratory dinner is chile rellenos (cheese stuffed), spanish rice, black beans and wilted greens. One of these days I will have to make horchata or a chia fresca. This is my first attempt. My dad really likes them and they are so cheap to make I have to give it a try. Dessert is a raspberry cobbler. Have to use up the raspberries in the freezer that have been there forever.
---
Bedtime meditation3 grats: 1) that I saw my registration was due tomorrow and I got everything taken care of today. I can mail it in tomorrow am. 2) that i was able to get in tomorrow with the new dentist for tomorrow and the receptionist was nice. That the pain wasn't bad today or tonight. 3) That I managed to wake up eqrly and get my dog out for a walk before it started raining. 4) that i still have my parents with me and I get a chance to make things good for a bit.
Obstacles: pain, hunger, exhaustion, money, disorganization, old people, dog fur. CRAMPS!!!!!
Heroic vision for tomorrow: go to dentist. Get there on time. Look at programs to apply for while I wait.
Selfless act: hmmm... let's try taking on a new cheap recipe my dad likes and I can make every week. I think the ingredients for dinner were about $5 and there were 4ish servings. I also bought the groceries and did all the dishes.
Oh wait no... the lady in back of me at the dmv was wearing scrubs and pacing anxiously so I let her go in front of me. Almost forgot.
Does that mean I have a bonus to cover tomorrow ?
---
B: 7am 2 pieces white toast, margerine, 2 eggs
S: skipped
L: box of mac n cheese w margerine
S: 2 glasses of hot tea with stevia and half and half. Some leftover brownie.
D: 2 chille rellenos, spanish rice, black beans, mozzarella, avocado, salsa
S: more tea with half n half, dessert didn't work as planned.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
also, i never heard of getting a car smogged but i am sure in CA there are more environmental tests since i think you guys have higher pollution rates over there on the west coast!
LOL on the smog. When I arrived in Vegas last year, I saw signs for "Smog $15.00". I asked my brother, Why on earth would anyone pay for smog? LOL!
Smog rules in CA = fewer cool off-road vehicles.
234.6 probably pms water retention since I am not eating much.
Got sooo much sleep and haven't had much in a week so I won't kick myself for waking up at 10 and taking a long time to get going. I couldn't do much until the codeine kicked in so I just watched tv and straightened up to keep my mind off the pain. Tidying, tidying, tidying.
--
Today I walked up to the corner diner and am reading through all my mail. I hate paperwork so it piles up and stresses me out and creates needless chaos in my life. Tackling my paper tiger today though. Grrr. Get after it. I am sure it looks weird but I can't get any tasks done at home that requires a sustained period of focus. My parents or my dog always want something and then my focus is gone and nothing gets done. Plus it is clutter overwhelm.
---
Pushed it through to go to the DA meeting by me tonight. Nice folks. They had more literature and stuff than the one in LB so I spent $5 for some pamphlets. I think the luscious tall hot alpha bearded guy was checking me out???? A couple of sidelong looks???? No idea. Probably not as I had no hair or makeup and just schlepped over and I am dying of pain. Didn't stick around to talk to him as my tooth was saying "Get me home and give me whiskey now!!!!". I don't think this is a pond I want to fish in. Considering how scarce the meetings are, I don't want to not be able to go to the one nearest to home.
On the other hand I might have just looked half dead and he was making sure I wasn't about to die.
One of the ladies said that a dental school is a bad idea. They slipped and cut her tongue in half, then had to stitch it back together.
OMG.
---
Dog is very confused as to why we still aren't sleeping in my big soft bed together. This thing where I am sleeping upright on the couch and she sleeps in her dog bed at my feet is very upsetting and I should stop it right now, silly human.
Sorry pup. I hate it too. Consultation tomorrow.
---- Bedtime meditation:
3 grats: 1) the people running the da meeting. Sounds like they have some challenges but are still trying to keep it going. 2) my dad for not giving me a hard time when he found out i had gone up to the diner alone. 3) my dog for eating as soon as I fed her tonight. 4) that tomorrow i can wake up and reapply for the scholarship. 5) that I have made it this far with the pain and can see a dentist tomorrow.
Fitness pride: I tried to not overeat despite how hungry I was. I walked. I relieved stress by going to da.
Obstacles: pain!!!!! Money. Clutter. Too many dishes.
Vision of success: i will go to get my car smogged and the dentist tomorrow.
Selfless act: I went into my mom's room and dug out all her dishes and washed them for her. We wash our own dishes and it is a rule I am normally a stickler about... but it was bedtime and it was my closest selfless act available.
----
S: pbj on white with milk
B: skipped
L: spinach omlette with cheese
S: cottage cheese and fruit
S: part of a huge slice of carrot cake. Coffee with 6 creamers. Working on opening all my mail. Felt I deserved a second round to help me power through.
S: Part of a lemonade and a part of a bag of cheezitz.
D: 2 pieces white toast, butter, 2 poached eggs
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
also, good luck at the dentist & reapplying for scholarship :)
233.2
Up at 2:30am with a toothache so I just stayed up. Second round of scholarship applications due to irregular scheduling at the university extension that will take a year to complete because one of the professors is out on leave. So normally takes 6 months but will take 1 year right now.
UGH.
---
Yep. Program can't pass because it will go past 1 year. And I have a splitting headache I need to clear before I can tackle searching for one.
AAAAAAAAARGH.
---
Bought a loaf of white bread... I know, I know... But it is all I can chew.
---
Goal for today is to submit another training application.
---
S: Glucerna, borrowed from mom.
B: 2 pieces of white bread, smart balance, 2 soft boiled eggs.
S: milk, 2 pieces of white bread, smooth peanut butter, 1 packet jam no seeds
L: 2 more glucerna stolen from Mom. Have to buy her a case next week.
S: diet pepsi, box of mac n cheese. Nice nap and the comb killed the massive headache
D: pineapple juice
S: brownie
Bedtime meditation
3 grats: 1) my mom for the ride home from schol application. 2) my dog for eating right away, 3) my dad for doing dishes
Fit pride: i went to bed early last night. I didn't push it and came home after my meeting and most importantly did not drive while in pain or on codeine.
Obstacles: pain, clutter, money, stress
Visualize heroics: i will wake up early, walk for coffee and read mail.
Selfless act: I took my clothes out of the hall and gave my mom access to the hoarder room like she has been asking me for. Let's not split hairs as to whether that was a selfless act. My head is killing me and it was what I could come up with today.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
An MRI tells you before they open the tooth if it is salvageable or not and if not it is a cleaner extract and bone grafting
Still home... teeth are killing me. I have however gotten a few things done around the house I have been putting off in an effort to keep my mind off the pain. Just a few projects here and there but each one gets me closer to feeling more together.
Missed the DA meeting on Friday and am sorry I didn't go. I need an injection of "get after it" and hearing stories of people who have turned things around made a big difference in my energy and focus. I was in too much pain to do the drive
---
Super hot dude I met off OkCupid is back! Job didn't work out and he missed his friends and kids so he came back to the US. Super flattered he thought of me.
---
Found a completely empty 4 drawer filing cabinet in my parents hoard... surrounded by boxes of paper.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 Next Page ]
So happy that you didn't actually lose your things...that had to be such a relief to find them....
OMG. You have no idea. I dropped some of my bluetooth trackers in water and I think I need to buy some more.
Donkey on 03/27/2018:
Thank you for the soldier care packages. I think this is something I would like to do, too. I often think about the young enlisted person who has nobody to support them.
horn_of_plenty on 03/28/2018:
yes, i'm glad you didn't actually lose anything....that would be MAJOR stress for me, for sure!
nice of you and so thoughtful for the soldier care packages.