Sucking it up, buttercup.
This AM, I got myself to eat 2 healthy meals, talked to therapist, then showered, tried on 10 outfits, and finally sucked it up to see the Ex-ish. Tried to go to the nature center... There were too many people there... He latched onto that instead, we should go to my storage unit and get the furniture that is supposed to make my life so much better. We got the furniture, didn't argue too much. It wasn't the fun day out I had hoped for... but at least I can get my dad's desk into his room where there is air conditioning and out of the living room so that I can stop stressing about opening my bedroom door to get something to eat or let my dog out. Get a little bit more done every day. Turn stuff around.
Good to tear off the band aid on seeing the Ex-ish again. I didn't get to see his brother's dog this time. She's such a great dog. I was really looking forward to that. Woof.
He lives in the next county over... Which was... Normal. It was so weird to not see boarded up stores, shot up stop signs, firecracker residue, clean streets, and no lines at the grocery stores. People had on masks, but otherwise... Normal.
It's 6:15pm. Everything hurts and I am worn out. I need to cook dinner for the pets... and Dad. Mostly the pets. Mom's legacy to me. Before I lived here, my dog was perfectly happy with my weekly slow cooker doggie dinner of beef, rice, and veggies. Then my mom spoiled her and she demands a home cooked meal every night. The cat got used to that really fast and has forgotten that he was once a stray alley dweller grateful for dry kibble. Now as soon as Alexa starts playing my radio show at night, the cat, the dog, and my dad all start staring at me and asking what is for dinner.
Thanks, Mom. We'll talk about this when I see you on the other side.
Calgon take me away.
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B1: almond milk, instant espresso... goes to the 80'%
B2: 2 eggs, spinach, bean mix, enchilada sauce, avocado. Working on the other 80%
L: Chicken salad... had I known it would be fried chicken I would have ordered something else, but... now I know. Is this 80% or the 20%? If I ordered it thinking I was getting something healthy but ate it anyway when I saw that it wasn't? But in COVID-19, didn't want to ask them to remake it??? I'm counting this toward the 80% because I thought a cobb salad would be ok.
Snack: 4 mini ice cream sandwiches. Emotional overwhem from recovering from seeing the Ex-ish. Definitely the 20%
D: 2 cups of veggie-packed extra spicy turkey chili which I made for myself for the week, even though dad will hate it, not eat any, and be mad at me for making something he doesn't like even though there is a freezer full of meals I have made for him. Suck it up, buttercup.
Snack:Kombucha, 4 pcs raisin toast w cream cheese, 4 ice cream bars
Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!
Today Dad went out with the caregiver and I got the bathroom to myself for an hour. I did another round of getting the black dye out of my hair (4 down, 9 more to go) and got to exfoliate. I feel almost human. Next step is a home manicure and pedicure. Try to at least look like I have tried to maintain myself during quarantine instead of sit around and eat junk food.
So when dad said, "Hey do you wanna get a pizza?" I almost went for it... Then I realized I've had pizza 2x in the last 2 days because I looked at it here... and I instantly thought... No. Maybe not. Then I ate leftover mac and cheese and had another ice cream sandwich... So I said screw it... ordered a salad that was too expensive from the lebanese place next door and went and picked up a pizza for him. He is having pizza and I am eating my first real dose of veggies since quarantine started.
Then I had some of his pizza... sigh.
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Seeing the Ex-ish tomorrow for the first time since quarantine started. It's been too long, I look terrible, and I'm not in good enough shape to do anything. Still getting up to go see him anyway. I can do this.
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B: Almond milk, espresso
L: Chicken thigh, seltzer
Snack: Grapefruit, seltzer
Snack: 2 ice cream sandwiches
Snack: Mac n cheese, 1 ice cream sandwich... maybe I should have done the pizza.
Dinner: Chicken kale salad... and pizza. Seltzer
Extra late night snacks: 2 more ice cream sandwiches
Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!
I hope you have a positive encounter with the Ex.
Oh wow. Saw myself on Zoom video chat last night... and it's bad. I have a date Thursday with the ex-ish and I might need to chicken out. Quarantine has not been kind. I fell off makeup, hair, nails, yoga, healthy eating, and supplements.
It's all just so... shocking.
Glad to be back here.
I'm looking at my little ziploc bag of vitamins and I wonder how I ever managed to suck those down every day like it was just as easy as brushing my teeth. I know they are the fundamentals of getting my neck to feel better and my body to start moving again... But it just seems like such a big task.
Bottoms up.
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Smacking myself in the face. First overcast day in weeks and I don't want to waste it. Such a relief... Why do I live in Southern California if I hate heat, sun, and dry weather?
I think I will focus on the things it is incredibly hard to do in full sun... Try the roof bag on my car, tidy up the in-progress garden, and start on replacing the kitchen linoleum. In that order.
Grr... get after it.
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Up: 6:40am
Breakfast: instant mocha latte (instant espresso, almond milk, chocolate syrup), coconut cashews
Snack: was going to have grapefruit but I forgot and went out to conquer tasks.
Lunch: Got too hungry and ended up eating 1/2 a frozen pizza and a 1/2 a ginger kombucha.
Snack: Seltzer and chocolate almonds after a stressful encounter with my dad who is obsessed with getting me to put his car on my insurance and won't take no for an answer.
Dinner: DIY cheeseburger with ketchup
Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!
Was up at 6 like a human being. Yay me.
Aphids have invaded. I armed myself today with Neem oil spray and the slaughter starts at 1600. Mom’s garden does not have enough natural attractants for me to release and retain ladybugs.
Focus today is on protecting the plants... then whatever small self care tasks I can knock out.
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b: 2 eggs, cheese, veg, 2 waffles, seltzer
l: 2/3 of a frozen pizza
snack: seltzer, chocolate coconut almonds... procrastin-eating instead of tackling important tasks
snack: seltzer and grapefruit. How did I forget how good grapefruit is?
snack: 2 blueberry waffles, 2 eggs, cheese, unsalted buter
dinner: diy cheeseburger. I will make dad one tomorrow
Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!
Supposedly they secrete a foul oil when they get scared so if you eat one, you will swear off any of their relatives.
I don’t like bugs either !!!
Hello all. Trying to get started again. I fell off diet and fitness when Noom sent out a survey about whether or not I was happy with my goals coach. I wasn't unhappy but the survey was weirdly a deterrent from using the service and I just stopped trying on every level. Since then, I have been trying to get back on schedule and on task, despite stress and disruption of quarantine and the vicious catch-22 of not taking care of my body and then in turn not being able to take care of my body because I am to run down from not taking care of my body.
So here I am again. Still up 13 lbs from where I was when I started taking care of my mom through chemo.
My major accomplishments right now are getting rid of all but 1 of the lease violations and starting the garden for my mom I tried to do a couple of years ago but didn't get anywhere with. I am growing a bunch of stuff out there now, and I hope she can see it from wherever she is.
Goals for restart:
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B: Almond milk with instant espresso, 2 bluebery protein waffles, unsalted butter (easy breakfast after oversleeping)
L: One of the low sodium meals my dad can't chew, bbq sauce, kombucha (easy lunch after cleaning up after the cat, dog, and dad)
Snack: Coconut chocolate almonds (320 cal), seltzer, peanuts, yogurt raisins 390 (snacks while packing vitamins), seltzer
D: 3 servings mac n cheese... made for dad, was trying not to eat it but then caved when he asked if we could eat together
Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!
I'm quite impressed that you are gardening. This year, I just didn't get into planting like I have in the past. Very good you!!!!
looks like even though you feel run down that you are in a similar spot to when you left and that you have kept many pounds off! welcome back. i'm here for you!
Counting down to Valentine's Day, really missing my mom. We always did something for each other. One year she got me a special cookie. Dealing with it by sending flowers to her 2 best friends and my aunt. I got my ex-ish a custom card... I used one of those photo card services and added a meme that is our inside joke... and a lot of bad puns. I'll pick up a small surprise this week and see what pile-ons I can follow up with.
Got to yoga this morning. All the pretty skinny girls... and me flopping around. I'll just keep at it until I look good too. Ate mostly on track today. There is hope. After yoga, I went to the farmers market. Next time I think I will just stay at the park.
Bought myself a pass to the botanical gardens on groupon. Making the ex-ish come with me tomorrow.
Working hard to be happy. I just want my mom.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
On week 8 of Noom
Sorry on being a little absent here. I'm catching up on everyone's entries and comments and generally getting back on track. Me falling off here coincides with the date I started the boundary assignment. In fact I've fallen off everything and only managed to do that. It's like wrestling an alligator in quicksand.
Have managed a few achievements and handled an ER trip for my dad.
In spite of all that, Noom is actually helping me stay on track and remember why I need to do daily habits to be healthy and take care of myself. This week I'm sleeping 7+ hours the past week and a half, and starting to feel a little less zombie.
Onwards and upwards. One foot in front of the other.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Making progress, but not logging here enough...
Starting to see a lift in my habits according to my habit tracker app. Possibly from Noom.
This week I logged my calories and tracked whether my meals were on plan. I also dumped all simple carbs from my diet. Except the entire frozen pizza, ice cream sandwich and chocolate bar I ate last night.
Next week my goal is to just start moving every day. Yoga, cardio, dog walk, whatever.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Wishing you a great day today, continued progress!
Hugs to all. Fell off logging this week, but in that time I accomplished a lot, took a whole 2 night / 1 day break to myself, and even got out to watch the Superbowl.
Will catch up this week and read and comment, but in the meantime here is the best line I ever heard:
Me (fat middle aged cat/dog lady at Mexican restaraunt where Superbowl is being held, looking at menu): "What can I order that's low carb?"
Cashier (super buff latino dude): "We're Mexican. We don't do low carb. Low carb is for white people."
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Disorganized eating last night... did ok all day until after the grief support group and washing the cat. I just got really tired and stressed and didn't have healthy meals prepped. Ate some of the chicken thighs I made up for the pets, then ended up eating a bunch of my dad's granola bars.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
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Looking really good happy. I may start buying the instant coffee mix myself, instead of the already made cold coffee...it'd safe me a lot of money.
Or just have it on hand when you run out. This Cafe Bustelo instant espresso is surprisingly decent. Nothing is ever as good as real coffee, but I don't mind this stirred directly into almond milk to start my day.
I mean, not as good as the Starbucks Via packets, but a billion times better than Folgers.
bearcountrygg on 06/18/2020:
I just opened a jar of instant coffee too......not bad!
What brand?
Donkey on 06/19/2020:
Good to know about the Cafe Bustelo instant coffee. Brand matters 100% when choosing instant. Stay away from generic. Folgers is kind of bitter. I lined Tasters Choice but I don't know if they sell that any more.
I may give the Bustelo a try.
Donkey on 06/19/2020:
Also, regarding a previous post about seeing yourself on a Zoom meeting: saw the back of my legs during Zoom yoga last night... horrifying.
Ha ha ha ha... you need harem pants. I can testify that these are amazing, stay in place, and hide whatever needs to be hidden. Get your OM on Women's Super Soft Modal Spandex Harem Yoga Pilates Capri Pants,Large,Black
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MZ1U1DS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_3nIlW3vsJiBSI
bearcountrygg on 06/19/2020:
I think mine is a store brand...nothing special...but not a name brand.
Horn_of_plenty on 06/19/2020:
yeah i've heard good things about Bustelo
the instant is made in a special process of like freeze drying or something i think...maybe better to use at home.