forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
Horn_Of_Plenty 4 hrs
InnerPeace 11 hrs
Donkey 17 hrs
BearCountryGG 1 days
legcramps 7 days
Maria7 13 days
Duaa123. 3/08
jazzstorie 2/24
tgshare 2/13
Southernboy 2/09
happy-1 2/08
MaKI 2/06
questforthebest 11/14
OArecovery 11/12
grannyannie 11/05
graindart 11/01
trishpiglet3 7/28
BookLover 4/27
greengirl 4/12
thinkpositive 4/09
CICO 4/05
Jayhawkjen 3/30
Cybermom4 2/10
OhioRaven 1/15
pinklatte 12/31

Recent Forum Topics
Diet Pills - 8:51A 18-Feb

Mr. Lonely here. - 3:40P 5-Feb

 Hi Webmaster! We have a new spamme - 3:00P 28-Jan

Slim Fast - 5:54P 22-Jan

Small Bit From a Book - 5:52P 22-Jan

Struggling With Nighttime Eating? - 5:52P 22-Jan

view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Wednesday Feb 28, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Overslept till 9 am. Had a hard time getting to sleep last night. Felt a little out of sorts over the scholarship.

OkCupid coffee date this morning. Nice enough guy but he is soooo friendly... an hour in is a little fast for calling me sweetie or other pet names. Also, inappropriate PDA in a store in the mall. I felt really claustrophobic. I just wanted to keep stepping back... like too intense. Felt more like he just wanted someone anyone female shaped, not necessarily me.

Spent remainder of morning at ross, marshalls and home goods looking for Sistema containers for packing yogurt and snacks. I bought a couple of extra items I need to think about and might return. I'm definitely a size 14 now... although all my fat is in the center of my gut... like a normal human swalloed an exercise ball and slowly inflated. One of my items was a balance board rip off of the simply fit board. Hopefully it will help me tone my middle and work my core. It was 25 at marshalls instead of $40 for the real one at walmart.

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/28/2018:
I have one of those simply fit boards and I'm afraid to try it.....at first I was afraid it would wear out the rug....when you try yours please let me know how you like it...I've decided that I'm not going to worry about the rug now...and will just get some guts and give mine a try.....need to dig that out tomorrow...I had forgotten about it...thanks for the reminder :) Actually I'm a little scared of it....LOL

happy-1 on 02/28/2018:
They have special mats to go under it. I was just going to put my yoga mat down and use the board on top of that on the patio concrete.

Donkey on 02/28/2018:
I would totally get a Simply Fit board, but with my back issues, I cannot do anything that involves twisting (which unfortunately includes racket sports, aerobic/Zumba dancing, etc.).

I'm sorry the date didn't go well. Ah well, try again sometime soon...?

happy-1 on 03/01/2018:
Yeah, maybe you would like a bosu board to build core around your back.

horn_of_plenty on 03/01/2018:
you know how to keep going and stay happy... :)

happy-1 on 03/01/2018:
Hugs! Thank you! Happiness is a mindset and an hour by hour decision. Kind of like love. A conscious choice to be made over and over again.

horn_of_plenty on 03/01/2018:
look how good your weight chart looks: KEEP GOING!

happy-1 on 03/01/2018:
Aw... ty. I am shooting for 208 by year end.

happy-1 - Tuesday Feb 27, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Hugs everyone. A little stressed today. May have lost the scholarship. I find out Friday. The school was funding jr level certs under senior level certs and leaving the students to fail compliance. I thought I was fixing paperwork but I inadvertently blew the whistle and may have lost the whole thing.


Dealing with the anxiety by doing basic straightening up. Just putting things in order... I don't know why everything gets out out of order so fast.


Made it to the conditioning hike tonight. Yay me.



Ate mostly on plan except for a box of mac n cheese and 4 small donuts

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/27/2018:
Oh no... Well, you won't know until Friday, so let's wait and see for now. Please do not get down on yourself for whatever you said or disclosed. If you went into the meeting with an open and honest heart, that's truly what's important.

But that would suck.

happy-1 on 02/28/2018:
Hugs thank you. This note really helped. I will work and destress untill Friday

bearcountrygg on 02/28/2018:
Donkey is right, and sometimes things just work out that way........if they were being shifty and you accidentally exposed them...it's on them...not you....don't worry, things will be ok. Sometimes these things are blessings in disguise and will work out even better in the end. Head up...and continue on....HUGS!

happy-1 on 02/28/2018:
Yeah I just feel like an idiot for not seeing that they were being shifty and just derping along... like Yogi Bear... "Well hello beat people! Thanks so much for extending my ui benefits and funding a $9600 program for me... I see that I'm supposed to have an engineer certification in 16 weeks but I only have admin classes." Derp derp derp...

horn_of_plenty on 02/28/2018:
that's great you got in exercise, i totally am starting up with more cardio on saturdays.

happy-1 on 03/01/2018:
Good job!

horn_of_plenty on 02/28/2018:
what i mean is, on weekends when i have free time, i hope to have a good cardio day each weekend right now.

happy-1 on 03/01/2018:
You will do it and prevail.

happy-1 - Monday Feb 26, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

B: coffee half n half and mp power oatmeal.

S: coffee half n half

B: quiche, beans, spinach

S: emotional support brownie

S: low carb pizza bake

5-d: in and out double double burger in lettuce and some fies,diet coke

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 02/27/2018:
Hope you have a good day. :-)

happy-1 - Monday Feb 26, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

So... Miracle of miracles... I woke up on my own at 4:45 am... ok I did have some help from my ancient dog who stood up, let one rip, then whacked me in the face with her tail till I got up. Still, this is the first time ahe ever woke me up on time in our 15 years together. This is a momentous occasion and deserves it's own separate post all on it's own. It took 15 years but this dog finally did what I wanted a dog for in the first place. I may have pictured something cuter and more YouTube video appropriate, but the outcome is what matters.

I got up, let her out, staggered to the bathroom, staggered to turn on my coffee and put my oatmeal in the microwave, then took my laundry basket of dog walking stuff and put it on. My dog was so shocked when I called her back in for walkies... me? You mean me for walkies? You've never done anything before 1pm in your life. Ok. Ok, fat lady. Let's go. She might be 18, but she ran and walked as much as I did.

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/26/2018:
4:45 is def early...it's about what i've been doing...i'm relearning how to get outta bed without laying there and wasting time!!!!!!

glad your dog is in optimal health!

happy-1 on 02/26/2018:
Lol. She's in better shape than me and she's 126.

Donkey on 02/26/2018:
I hope your meeting went well today! What a wonderful dog story!

happy-1 on 02/26/2018:
Hugs. She is the best pup. Wanted to come to the school after and to sierra club hike, but I need to try it first to see if she can keep up.

happy-1 - Sunday Feb 25, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Got to bed waaaaay too late last night.  2am.  I stayed up late watching tv and petting my dog and then I tried to get one useful thing done... Pack my supplement stack into pill packs for daily doses. I haven't been taking them. With the coffee at 3 and diet pepsi at 7... I had too much caffeine in me and didn't get to sleep till 3:30am. Set alarm for 7, but struggled to wake up and missed the church service I wanted to check out. 

Will focus on printing my habit builder today and prepping for the meeting with my EDD case worker tomorrow.


Today is lonely but productive. Got things printed out and some paperwork done. All meals are prepped for 3 days!!!! Small miracle.

So to conquer tomorrow... my habit minder is printed out. My food journal is printed out. My clothes are set out for tomorrow. My coffee is all set up and ready to go. My lunchbag is set up to receive meals. My laptop bag has the printouts for the case worker. My laptop is charging. My dog has her treats for tomorrow in a sealed container, tons of fresh water. It is 9:30 and I am in bed with my sleep aid taken.

I may need a second pair of running shoes.


Up: 9am

9: B: coffee, half and half. Didn't eat because my dad was in the kitchen then I forgot.

12: S: MP paleo granola, yogurt, berries

2 pm L: MP- 2 cups broccoli salad wit

4pm S: mp - power oatmeal

D: Dinner with the fam. I made veggie burger lettuce wraps with cheese, fried eggs, sautéed onion/mushrooms/spinach, lettuce, tomatoes, pickled red onion, sweet potato fries. A lot of work to put together for something that should have been an easy meal... probably the sautéed veggies.

S: 1 brownie.


Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/25/2018:
Good luck with your meeting tomorrow! I will be thinking of you :-)

I hate it when I have caffeine too late and it keeps me up all night. It really can put a wrench through the next day's plans.

happy-1 on 02/25/2018:
Yeah plus I accidentally took sleep aid and adhd meds too close together and gave myself a migraine.

bearcountrygg on 02/25/2018:
Good luck with the meeting!

happy-1 on 02/25/2018:
Thank you!!! Fingers crossed.

horn_of_plenty on 02/26/2018:
lately i'm in bed soooo early. complete opposite of you. i was seriously in my bed at 6:30pm last night....and mostly slept straight (aside from waking up a few times but nodding right back to sleep!) until 4:45am. lately 10hrs is great on my end....i'm just going with it but hope i do not need this much sleep come summer....

happy-1 on 02/26/2018:
Nice!!!! Maybe you need to track your sleep efficiency. I was sleeping 10h but up for like 2+... Fitbit is helping with habits for sleep efficiency

horn_of_plenty on 02/26/2018:
too much caffeine usually affects me too...i now stay away mostly from it in the evenings.

happy-1 - Saturday Feb 24, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Slept too long... went to bed at 10:20 and woke up about 12. Fitbit says I slept over 11 hours but a little over 8 hours average. I think it was the stress of the training thing being a conflict that just wore me out. Will straighten it out on Monday but I made the mistake of telling my parents and they are inventing things that could be wrong. I think it's just that the new year flipped over and things haven't been communicated between agencies. My parents are convinced that the training company is committing fraud. This is total paranoia. I just think it's being related between non technical people and only one letter difference between training programs.

Mom woke me up this morning with the anxiety that I had insulted the nice lady that was going to hold $2500 of training funds so that I could get the second level certificate. I was dead asleep, lost it, and snapped at her. Then when I had some privacy again I ate 4 brownies instead of breakfast because I was aggravated and not awake yet and eating my emotions and I had packed them in the bear barrel by my bed for my Sunday outing. Sigh.


Still no resent card from the ex.


Molly sentme screenshots of her Fitbit this morning! So proud of her. I made such a silly fuss at her last night. I said we didn't have to be Fitbit buddies or wear custom bands that say "Best ****es" but I so want to... SO GLAD!!!!


Parents went out and brought back pizza from aplace my mom has been wanting to try. Yum!! Put me in a good mood and I gave my dog hours of rubs. She gave me lots of oxytocin live stare back and cuddled her head in my hands. Full contact.



B - 4 small brownies

3pm - s - iced coffee, protein powder

4 pm - turkey burger, cheese, guac, southwest dressing, sweet potato fries

4 slices of pizza, 3 chicken wings, diet pepsi

2 peanut butter cups, trail mix packet

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/25/2018:
Forget the card... Time to move on. He's an ex. Why such high EXpectations from him?

happy-1 on 02/25/2018:
He said he stuck a new stamp on it and re-sent it.

I guess because he is a nerd like me and I figure nerds get wires crossed but if you ask nicely they make an effort. And that there was enough of a bond there after talking for 5 years that he would... But his second marriage was physically and emotionally abusive so I guess that kind of screwed him up too much.

bearcountrygg on 02/25/2018:
I agree with Donkey....Live your life, have a good time, and the right guy will find you. Guys do not like to be chased.....it just makes them run away.

When the right guy comes along you will know it because you won't have to beg him to do things for you, he will want to please you himself. I did notice that you say he has been divorced twice.....apparently he is not looking for another divorce.

happy-1 on 02/25/2018:
He does chase me. That's how I ended up down there. Resolve it one way or the other...

Except I guess it was resolved as "the other". That makes me sad. We talked for 5 years.

happy-1 - Friday Feb 23, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Because it deserves a completely separate post all on its own... Molly never returned the fit bit after all and the occupational therapist she's seeing talked her into trying it. I'm so happy!!!! I'm so very happy! She's going to feel so much better.

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 02/24/2018:
And it looks like HAPPY IS HAPPY TOO!!!!!

happy-1 on 02/25/2018:
Yeah! I am glad that cash didn't get wasted when money is tight... and that she's going to be brave and try to feel better.

Donkey on 02/24/2018:
Oh that's WONDERFUL! Maybe she just needed to hear it from someone else.

happy-1 on 02/25/2018:
Yeah... a professional I guess. She'll disappear for a few more months and maybe she'll be down to hang out after summer is over.

happy-1 - Friday Feb 23, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Another down... on the scale that is!!! 2lbs!!! I'd be worried about that much in one weigh in but I haven't weighed myself for at least a week. I did have breakfast before weigh in though so it might be more or less... but close enough for today. Getting ready to head over to the school and do paperwork.

Up: 6:30 am. Actually heard my alarm and didn't hit snooze... but the alarm must have been on for a bit. Not used to being up that early so I staggered around a little instead of hitting the ground running.


Hit a snag with the training and need to regroup with the EDD... make sure that I am ok.


6:30 b: oatmeal (half serving, couldn't finish it), caffeine shot. Brain could not pull together coffee.

10: S - chili cheese fries (leftovers), diet coke

12: cheese stick, sweet potato crackers.

2:30 - cheese stick

5ish - lean cuisine. Chicken and noodles. Will have to get my dad more. Just got too hungry and there wasn't anything easy to grab. I made up some meal preps after that.

7ish - turkey burger with sweet potato fries and guac and cheese. Southwestern sauce. Yum.... so good.

9ish - sleep aid + yogurt, berries, granola.

10:20. In bed. Hoping to make it to the riverside Botanical gardens in the morning for a meetup with old fat hikers

Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/23/2018:
good job...over the next 2 months i plan to lose the weight i gained over the past 2 months. It's noticable on my stomach area to me...it's softer than it used to be = gained some fat. I gained around 2-3lbs....and when you weigh a low weight, it's very noticable, that little difference.

bearcountrygg on 02/24/2018:
Congrats on the 2 pound loss!!!

happy-1 - Thursday Feb 22, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 230.4

Today was ups and downs...

Ups - Because I found out my funding for training was approved. I have a shot at a sys admin certification. 4 month program that starts Monday and I need to go in for tomorrow.

Downs - Because my ex got his Valentine's day card back in the mail return to sender, and just the envelope from mine, no card. I asked him to resend his... I haven't gotten a Valentine since the 5th grade and he got mad at me. He says he likes me but he doesn't know what to do and can't do anything right.

He's also mad because I didn't stick around down there to hear him DJ in Second Life. I hadn't even known he did Second Life. I had wondered why he never struck out and built a new network after his second marriage fell apart... No sports teams or groups... apparently he just got really into Second Life. I told him I didn't stick around because I only found out he was into it that weekend and it isn't really something I get. I didn't want to say the wrong thing and make him uncomfortable while he was doing his performance... Rather let him have his private "safe" place to himself and then learn more about it. It isn't like a club performance... you can't mix with a crowd or meet their friends if you aren't already set up in the game... it would have just been me bored off my ass and staring at him. Plus I missed my dog and wanted to sleep in my own bed. I just don't get things like Second Life, renaissance fair, being able to play music but not doing a band, board game marathons, u

I told him to do whatever makes him happy... I like him but all I want is for him to be happy. He does everything fine. I just want the basics... a card or a mixtape on a holiday... plans that don't revolve around food and drink that isn't on my fitness plan... like the free days at the museum or a day at the beach. (He did bariatric surgery a few years ago and eats a lot of crap. He loves the hipster places with fancy ice cream and booze and is gaining the weight back. I enjoyed going but a) they bore me, b) it's a lot of work to get some chow, c) bad for you.) If I drive down to SD not to have to turn around and leave first thing in the AM. I struggle with driving.


Is it bad that my first thought was I need to meal prep for Monday and maybe I need a new lunch bag? My current lunch bag only fits 3 meals, a drink and some snacks.



Oatmeal, caffeine shot

deli turkey and coleslaw

sweet potato turkey chili cheese fries

2 brownies



Progress as of today: 77.6 lbs lost so far, only 50.4 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Wednesday Feb 21, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 232.2

Yesterday was so rough I scrapped my entry mostly so I never think about it again. Mostly I learned thatI should never stick around at home in the AM and that I should always just go for a walk when my dad starts nudging for treats.


Today I will go to my track workout and focus on making up my pill packs and doing my personal papers


Got too toothache-y, hungry and cold while I was working on stuff and came home. For some reason I had this impulse to start on the third bedroom and try to clear some of it out. This was a decent plan since my splitting headache meant nothing which requires focus was going to happen today. I pulled boxes out to the living room and went through them, chucking as I went. It's about 1:30am and I cleared about an eighth of the floor space in there, which I filled with a chair and a dog bed from the living room. Most of what I pulled out went to the recycling bin. Just old boxes with a bunch of plastic bags and maybe one shoe. I just focused on repacking and condensing stuff.

Didn't get anything done today that I needed to get done but now at least there is a spot to escape to if I am not feeling well again and I need to be home in the morning. I'll keep cleaning it out, I guess. It is packed to the ceiling and will take a while. ----

8:30 - oatmeal, coffee half and half

Not really sure after that.

Deli meat andcoleslaw

3 nutrigrain bars

2 lean cuisines, 2 cups veggies

2 cheese sticks and some sweet potato crackers

Diet 7 up

Progress as of today: 75.8 lbs lost so far, only 52.2 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 02/21/2018:
Yes, remain on task today! and i'll do the same!

let me tell you - i'm glad i planned well for this week....bc now i have an entirely different commute starting tomorrow and i'm so glad that the gym is today and not tomorrow after the first day at a new location working with new people. just so glad that i have an easier second half the week and that the busy schedule after work ends today so that i'm not having a new commute along with after work commitments too. thankful for planning well :) it's good i do not have guinea pigs!

bearcountrygg on 02/21/2018:
If mornings are a problem with them then you are right to avoid seeing them in the morning...agreed.

happy-1 on 02/23/2018:
Yeah. It's an adhd thing... the brain isn't active in the am so triggering the flight or flight response by doing battle gets them sharpened up for the day so they are addicted to it. A nice cup of coffee and a run or dog walk does the same thing... but shrinks are junk and adhd isn't real so they don't need to see anyone about it, right?

Maria7 on 02/22/2018:
Hope you are having a good afternoon.

[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 Next Page ]