Dog woke me up at 2am to go out to pee and I can't get back to sleep. Aaaaaack. Organizer comes at 10am. 4am and just have to get up and face the day.
One foot in front of the other.
--- PM update
Have to say that if it is 3am and I am all alone and missing my mom and miserable and all I want is a hug, it is a big blessing to reach over to a big mellow tom cat asleep on the pillow next to my head and pull him over for a cuddly sonambulatory purr fest. He is always just a few inches away and DTC... Down to Cuddle... He misses her too and doesn't care that she was bat**** crazy either.She was just mom and a blinding source of love and everything is darker without her.
At least the load is getting lighter. All things in life should be as easy as pointing someone else at a giant pile of paper inbox trays and saying "That, do that". With the help of a professional organizer, 2 rooms of floor to ceiling paper were reduced to a table worth of plastic dollar store letterbox trays and then reduced again to 2 boxes of actual files that have tab dividers and I can pick up and take to a table and flip through to find what I need.
2 rooms > 2 boxes.
Still 2 rooms to go.
I think tonight I will use the last of the cheese to make pizza.
So far this week while toiling away on forensic paperwork, I have watched The Magicians, Lucifer, and am starting The Witcher. Spin up those suggestions!
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Signed up for Noom yesterday. I feel the need for infrastructure in my weightloss efforts to get me motivated and keep to goals... Weight Watchers always seemed like too much work with the points system... It's easier to think in calories, fiber, etc. But there is something wrong with how Noom calculates calories. I like that they synch with Garmin, but then they don't take into account calories burned and then calculate your deficit. Garmin says I burned about 3,500+ calories doing chores then lugging my dad to the doctor, bank, grocery store, and home. I ate 2161 calories... for a -1300 calorie deficit. Noom says I am over by 861 calories. WTF?????
I did like the idea of an SOS Motivation plan that they introduced... See page 33 of this PDF
https://tomorrowyediet.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/14dayplan11419.pdf
Basically you look for what habits you do as part of your plan and then track them and not doing something for 3 days in a row (for example) is a sign that you are falling off track and need a rescue.
I have a habit tracker app that I use that helps me track what key activities I did that day. So a bunch of red lights... Falling off course although I didn't think of it that way.
Today I fell off track. I ate on plan (except for 3 mints at the bank because I had breath like a horse's butt) until I got home. I started with 3 cups cauliflower rice, 2 cups spinach, 1/4 cup shredded mexican chicken, 1/2 cup beans. 1/4 cup brown rice, and tooooo much guac... But then I dove into my dad's ice cream. And 2 of his kaiser rolls with waaaaaay too much butter.
Sigh...
Pro organizer tomorrow. Then... a nap?
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
maybe next time have a little snack before you get home...this is what i used to have to do more, so that i wasn't as ravenous when i got home. the snack can be an hour to 30min before getting home...it can be anything small, like chocolate and seltzer or just a few sucking candies. something to get some carbs or even a few almonds into your system so you don't feel as hungry. this is what helps me tons.
We'll do better today, together, right?
But NOOM has the right idea.
Better. So much better. And horrified at the state of the house. I did not do much cleaning while I was sick. Will have to take my paperwork out to do it somewhere else. If I stay here, all I will do is clean and I can do that tonight.
In the self-defeating but not self destructive category of behavior, I followed the nutritionist’s guidance of caving to a craving but finding whatever is really satisfying to really kill the urge. Sams Club pizza was calling my name, but wouldn’t satisfy the craving so I went to my college pizza place on the way home and picked up a sausage and mushroom pizza. It was a lot bigger than I remembered so next time I will get a small one! I ate 5 slices over 3 meals yesterday. I feel bloated and too full today. Guess that’s a lesson learned!
Goals for today are to do any 3 items on my to do list and a walk to build up sleep drive.
Today is the last day I need to stay up till 2 to take my antibiotics so tomorrow I need to get back on schedule. I was actually up till 3:30 am last night because I couldn’t sleep.
Trying to figure out a good yoga coverup and spotted this on Amazon... But I can't figure out what color. My yoga pants are charcoal, black, or teal. My yoga tops are black, grey, olive, or teal. Black could work... But I'm so tired of black.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07H24ZXLZ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_8?smid=A2QVFTZ74LDW3K&th=1
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
So glad to hear you're feeling better!!
Day X of 60
Human. OMG. Stayed up till 2 am last night so I could get 2 doses of new antibiotics 12h apart... Feels weird to not wake up till 10:30AM... always throws me off... but so worth it. Not clammy/sweaty/tender/desperate to pee, just exhausted. I can deal with exhausted.
Felt better enough to make dad breakfast and coffee.
Kitty is getting restless. Started running around and scratching the rug. Pulled out most of the fur on his tail. He's suddenly almost too fat for the harness I got him, so time to start walking him again. I slacked off when he started having his teeth go south, but it is time. My dog agrees I need to do something about that damn cat. She does not enjoy his random insanity disruptions.
Tomorrow. Double sized coffee this morning. The milk powder and the mct powder in the shaker are so good I actually prefer mine to Starbucks now. I loved flat whites in Australia.
Goals for today:
Doc sent me high dose Vitamin D prescription... Apparently low Vitamin D levels can cause fatigue, muscle weakness, depression etc. Today is the free day at the botanical gardens. I would really like to go but I think it might be too much for me. Maybe the Vitamin D supplement will make that sound like less of a marathon. Might manage $5 movie tuedays.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Let us know what comes from taking the high dose of vitamin D. $5 movie is a great deal and good reason to go out :)
Still, I call it sunshine in a pill...
Day X of 60
Not feeling well, missed yoga. Couldn't get out of bed when my dog woke me up at 5 AM, felt cold, achey, and exhausted. Too hot and sweaty and it's like 65F right now. Picking up antibiotics today.
Partially missed yoga because I got bummed out last night. It's happening every Sunday night lately and I need to break that pattern.
Showered, dressed, and made the bed. Took forever. Just need to get up, eat something, go get antibiotics, and I can come home and go back to bed.
---
Home. Tomorrow (or more likely Wednesday) will be a better day.
---
No longer purple... But dye is still in my pores so I just look like I really, really need a bath.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Sundays have always been an issue with me. Evenings are the worst. (((hugs)))
I think I need to start wearing myself out on Sunday mornings to build up sleep drive. I can't spiral if I'm asleep.
also, i hope you feel better soon. you've been doing really, really well lately and so have your PETS! so i hope you get well soon to continue with your Happy Streak!
Vaseline sounds like genius. I don't know why I didn't think of that!!!!! The lash dyeing kit says to use that for dying eyebrows and lashes... I'd probably rub it into my hands, cuticles, neck and shoulders too.
If you dye at home, make sure you have extra gloves for dying the ends of your hair and for washing it out, and Comet cleanser for scrubbing your sink and tub.
Day x of 60
Pets gave me the morning off. Slept in till 8. Kitty has had enough hots and cots that he looks like a big plush toy (instead of a scraggly survivor), makes a big thud when he jumps to the floor, and is starting to play.
Was too tired when I dyed my hair last night and accidentally dyed my face... Hair is ok, face is dark purple. It'll shed in a couple of days or the hairdresser will have color remover.
UTI is back. New antibiotics tomorrow but no workouts today. I think I've lost almost 8 weeks of fitness to being sick or tired.
Meals:
Watching "Married at First Sight" for background noise.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
your kitty is so cute and so are you to feed him so well! :) how long have you had kitty that it's now getting more used to you?
Some days, it just really do be like that. I admit the alfredo sounds so good right now. Move forward from this.
I wish I had bought shrimp!!!! No shrimp for me though... Cholesterol.
My go to pasta method is a can of tomato sauce, spices, mushrooms, and a cup of water in a pot brought to a boil. Add angel hair pasta to cook in the sauce. When cooked, fill pot to top with spinach, toss and cover. Becomes mostly veggies with a little white pasta so you feel like you had a lot of pasta but you really had mostly veggies.
Try rubbing alcohol to get the stain out? It may be too late. I know if you rub the dye off your skin with rubbing alcohol after rinsing the dye out of your hair, it comes out...
The alcohol is a good tip. I will try that next time.
Day 16 of 60
Actually feeling better.
The pets are doing their best to get me on track. Dog woke me up at 5:45. I let her out and back in again then went back to bed. The cat walked up and down my body to make sure I stayed awake. I was shocked to get basic chores out of the way and to yoga on time... then topped it off with a grocery run, meal prep session, and more chores. Not even 12:00 yet. I feel like I just did a 5k.
Go pets... Good team. We'll be back to work and on our own again in no time if this keeps up.
Accomplishments so far:
Remaining goals:
Meals so far:
---
Annual physical shows high cholesterol, high sugar, high triglycerides, and an alarming Vitamin D deficiency.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
My slim daughter had high cholesterol at her last exam, too. Both my husband and I have vitamin D deficiencies - my husband was way, way low. I'm surprised though, since you live in a sunny state.
I think I'd be most alarmed by the high sugar levels!
Did your doctor give you a plan to handle these issues?
Sun... I don't leave the house much... Incrementally the dad issues and not having anyone to take a break with has discouraged me from leaving the house. I need to get a life again to get some daylight.
I emailed her back on the plan since most of her recommendations I am already doing.
Day x of 60... Not sure
Continued energy from yesterday... Got a traveling notary to come to the house to help dad with papers. It was an all-morning project that thouroughly wore me out. I am just depleted. But I am digging myself out. I even got all the things I need to work on set up and ready to knock out.
Too many meals today with a late night eating episode of a pbj.
No bike ride. Starting to feel better. Less sweaty at least.
---
Ex texted. Wants to know when I want to get together. I said next Saturday. I want a real date on a date night.
And I'll be damned he said OK.
I said "Can't wait to see what you have planned."
Oh... How much does he hate this? Soooooo much.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
I was amused by the Ex. Well, let's see what he has planned. Could be interesting!
This reminds me of my husband and I. We go back and forth, "What do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" "Oh whatever you want to do..."
Repeat that a million times...
It’s always good to be less sweaty lol I was on the train overhearing someone telling their friend to shower bc if you sweat you will smell lol. It’s funny to me bc most people know this without being told I guess
Day 14 of 60
Not feeling so great still. Pro organizer is back today...
Ex texted me good morning again. No word from the ex on whether he wants to get together for a real Saturday night date this weekend or next. It's not about a fancy evening out... it's about getting to go out when there are fun things to do that are out of the ordinary.
Not holding my breath. It would mean not seeing one of his friends for coffee at Starbucks... every Saturday night... to which I have never been invited. What I don't get is why this friend isn't seeing his own girlfriend on Saturday nights?
If I'm going another round with him, I want a Saturday night date at least once a month. Ex is awesome... just some tweaks here and there.
---
Update...
MILESTONE... BOTTOM... I CAN SEE BOTTOM OF THIS HORRIBLE MESS...
We're through the last of mom's "current" papers... We have a system... We each take a box, open them up... I have hysterical crying fits and sob about how much I miss my mom while I make rough piles out of things and then she makes them make sense.
Today the organizer and I went through piles of papers that we had put in the vague "important" stack and turned them into "grab and go" financial and health binders for my dad. Not finished by any means, but at least something I can pick up and use on a daily basis to handle affairs... Financial statements are sorted into letter trays from the Dollar store, ready to be turned into files and put in the giant filing cabinets mom bought and was going to use "someday".
The linen cabinet is cleared out and ready to receive all the home health care stuff I shoved into my closet while I sorted out everything else... So that a stranger can easily access basics like kleenex, vaseline, hot water bottles and heating pads.
The kitchen is cleared out and everything is easy for a stranger to find something to make a decent meal for a sad old man. The pest problems have been resolved... for now.
The dining room and table are completely clear of clutter and junk... You can just go in there, sit down, setup a placemat and eat dinner.
The living room has clear paths and trip-free walkways. You can sit on the couch, recliner or armchair without having to make space first. The broken window has been replaced.
Not at bottom yet... but I can see it. Hope is everything.
I even tried new recipes from sratch tonight... Chicken tinga, refried beans, cauliflower rice, pico de gallo....
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Yeah, i don't think you should push ex for what you want. honestly, if he wants more, let him show you without you asking. he should know, well, mostly know anyways. if you have to teach him too much, maybe it's not worth it.? my personal opinion only.
I'm not pushing for what I want. I'm stating what I want, then waiting. I have plenty to do to get my life back to being my own. I'd like a Saturday night date. If he wants that to be with him... great. If not, I can use the time to get to bed early and get an extra yoga class in on Sunday mornings. If I go to enough yoga classes, get my stuff done, and keep on trucking... someday maybe I will have someone to go on a date with on Saturday nights.
The organizer is coming so much because I just can't face opening the boxes on my own. It's not the crazy collections of plastic bags and food wrappers that get me... it's all the flyers and clippings of places she wanted to go and things she wanted to do that she never got to try.
At least I got her one more cat to cuddle before the very end.
It really sounds like you are having a good week; glad to hear it.
You probably need a class in carpentry or wood working or something. I feel like you have a lot of gear but not a lot of junk... all of which is hard to store and access.
https://www.instagram.com/p/9hEOdVoIRX/?taken-by=erinkoko33
Day 13 of 60
Feeling better enough that I think I will be back on the bike tomorrow and in yoga by friday. Had a dermatology appointment today. Apparenly he does not re-pierce ears.
Pro-organizer helped me get through the last of mom's "recent" boxes yesterday. I am so glad it was her going through the boxes instead of me... I had one that must have been repacked into a newer box... and found a few copies of dad's porn from the 60's and 70's. Horrifying on so many levels... and some were Playboys possibly worth selling... I had her stuff it in another box and refused to look at it or deal with it. She tried to get me to deal with it or toss it. I just wanted it buried again...
Like if you opened a box of Cheerios and found a thumb, screamed, closed it, and put it back on the shelf in front of someone else.
Trying to stay on track with eating today. So far
---
Cat is suddenly pulling out his fur all over my bed. a) gross, b) scary, c) worried he's sick again.
---
Ex wants to hang out again. I said how about a real date, any saturday night? Like archery or something holiday.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Good for you for requesting a real date. Proud of you!
I think the cat got stressed because I was out of the house for a while yesterday.
I adore my ex, missed him terribly, but if I want to be happy to see him all the time, I need a few tweaks.
PB&J is always tasty, nice you can make it a little bit lighter. i'd like it with a seltzer or something on the side to fill me up, like coffee or tea.
PBJs are divine nectar of the gods... they can only be topped by... peanut butter and honey sandwiches!
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You can do it...help is on the way!!! GO YOU!!!
Thank you!!!!!
A nice plump tom cat is a big comfort... He was 8.3lbs when i got him, and he's about 12lbs now. Solid and strong tomcat.
Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/20/2019:
Your day sounds like it is going to improve as the day moves on!
I got everything I could do done today. I did my best. Tomorrow I will rise and do it again... Hopefully with more sleep.
Donkey on 12/21/2019:
When we invited black Jack to come live with us (because his owner could not take him with her when they moved), I forgot how nice it is to have a solid tomcat to pet and hug. Not that I don't love my girls, but they are more petite and different. Jack is so nice, even if he has a bit of the Dark Side in him.
Just a big, solid, living teddy bear to hug when I miss mom.
Donkey on 12/21/2019:
I so applaud your progress with the organizer. That is wonderful...
TY. Trying. Every day. Some days I don't do much though.