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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Thursday Jun 23, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 247.2

B - leftover protein burrito, cheese, sause, 2 eggs. Yum! Iced coffee with half and half

S1 - Skipped

L - Snap peas, kombucha. 

S2 - Hot dogs, mustard, beans, kraut

D - Chicken salad at farmer brothers.

S3 - 


Have not logged for a few days.  Got stressed and overwhelmed, mostly due to my mom chewing me out. New therapist on Betterhelp wants me to distance myself from my parents a bit. She might be right.

Picking up again! At least my eating for the last several days was OK. 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/23/2016:
Might just be good advise she should know. Have a great day.

happy-1 on 06/23/2016:
Yeah. I mostly asked her to focus on making me productive for getting So far she's had me put off buying emergency supplies and spend on making a work station for the trailer.

The little $40 desk got an upgrade with a monitor, stand and a laptop stand, trackpad, keyboard and mouse the last couple of days.

happy-1 on 06/23/2016:
super expensive $40 desk!


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/24/2016:
yeah i agree, maybe some distance it good. I'm glad you are feeling better...

is it a protein burrito because the wrap it low carb? whats in it! sounds good!

happy-1 on 06/24/2016:
The protein burrito is packaged from target:

http://www.target.com/p/sweet-earth-protein-lovers-breakfast-burrito-3pk-15oz/-/A-23974695

They are really good, but all packaged foods are really terrible for you.

Especially with some trader joe's enchilada sauce!


OhioRaven on 06/25/2016:
Sometimes it takes money to make money.

happy-1 on 06/25/2016:
Yeah... I did a bunch of shopping before that too though to alleviate neck pain... But it worked. Slept at my parents two weekends now without waking up with the worst migraines. Doing homework ar starbucks now!



happy-1 - Monday Jun 20, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - Skipped

S1 - Skipped

L - Early, 10:30 am. Kombucha and cobb salad. Protein drink

12:15 - Still hungry, S2 - Trader joes beans and grains frozen meal, chocolate milk with protein

D - 

S3 -


Zero sleep. 

 

 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/20/2016:
Have a great day.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/20/2016:
ugh...i hope you get some sleep tonight.

when i don't get sleep, i'm not my best self...that's for sure!

lately, i feel I could sleep for days, probably means that i should limit my use of sleeping pills. as they seem to have a horrible cummulative effect on me where if i take them a few days in a row, i become a zombee!

and the fact i had less caffeine today. and i'll stick to it like that today. as i could use some normal sleep tonight!...can't wait.

have a great rest of the day!

happy-1 on 06/20/2016:
Yeah I did Lunesta and Ambien in the past and overall it wasn't worth it.



happy-1 - Sunday Jun 19, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

Backlogging an entry for Sunday. Not sure what I ate but it was all healthy stuff and on plan.... except for spaghetti with butter and parmesan at 4am because

Did not hear from my guy. Augh.

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/20/2016:
Yes we do eat our emotions those are the worst times to eat.



happy-1 - Saturday Jun 18, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - Leftover enchilladas. Diet gigngerale

S1 - Skipped.

L - Vegan burrito with enchillada sauce and a slice of cheese. Kombucha. All out now. Have to get more at Costco. The one Hornofplenty likes!

S2 - wendys, diet coke, 2 grilled chicken wraps

D - yard house, steak and eggs (crazy good) skipped the sauce, iced tea with stevia

S3 -


It's date night with my guy!  He said he'd take me to the Yard House. I hope we can make it to the burlesque. It is super fun and would lead to sexy rumpus!

I have finally stopped coughing. I woke up early and debeasted from tip to toes... Hair masque, exfolliation, manipedi, pixel perfect makeup... the whole thing. I put my hair in two braids so it will wave (hopefully). Not so happy with my outfit options. I have lost weight so my sexy outfits are a little disaster prone... might fall down if I am not careful! Work outfits are too worky.

I might need to get there early and run into forever21 first. Can't go home and deal with parents to grab a dress and I will be cutting it close with homework.

-----

Long story, too much to type at midnight, but I found a great dress (I bought on the way home from a date with him a year and a half ago in case there were more dates and hadn't even taken the tags off of because I was saving it... And it fit even better now that I lost weight) at my parents, went down to see my guy looking great, thrilled to finally get a nice photo of us where my bangs aren't sticking straight up from my head.... predictably hadn't planned ahead so no burlesque show, had dinner (which I had to chip in for), had a parting of the ways in the line waiting for dinner, so dinner was awkward... The parting of the ways was a big ice bucket on my libido (not his apparently) and it was late so I went home to my parents (i confess, really my dog).

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/19/2016:
Plans changed I guess. Have a great Sunday.

happy-1 on 06/19/2016:
Or the relationship is at an end. Already.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/19/2016:
Thanks for your great comments about waxing, later i'll go to all the links your provided. I don't think i can wax myself at all. I don't have the guts! I tried it a long time ago & was super squeamish and couldn't do it. Doubt i'm any different now! But i'm still looking thru your links THANK YOU! i did totally forget about how Nair can be so useful too. I have it at home...Actually I have Veet.

Also, the 2 best brands (i like it strong!) of kombucha in my opinion are Kevita and Synergy / GT's! I didn't know Costco sells! I should pick it up when with my folks. Best deals i ever get is when I buy Kevita, sometimes only $2.50 each. Otherwise, everything's super $$$ at least $3.50.-$4.

So I'm happy to hear you looked great and really spent time on yourself as i'm sure it felt really goood to do so...but i'm really sorry about how it went down?

What are you going to do about your situation with him? I'm sorry about how he said it before dinner. before the night was over at all..

happy-1 on 06/20/2016:
Not really sure. The parting of the ways is that he has a sectioned off area of his life called "personal business" and I am in that tiny box. So... No brunches with friends. No meeting his kid. No phone calls if something happens to him.

I honestly don't know what I will do about it. I'll probably go passive till he walks. It is always better to get dumped because then they don't show up at your house or do other random crap.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/20/2016:
btw, i'm noticing you are eating well - changed lately!...including more low cal drinks..

happy-1 on 06/20/2016:
You're a good influence, lol.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/20/2016:
I'm glad you don't mind my being sometimes extremely compulsive on here...it's one of my ways of de-stressing! happy to be a good influence. i drink a lot of diet stuff, not saying it's good, but a lof of the choices i make are generally made to keep calories down. :) i know the secrets! :)



happy-1 - Friday Jun 17, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - 10AM - Egg muffin, corn chips, diet coke. 

 Skipped Lunch and 2 snacks

4pm - Leftover mexican food. Yum.

 7:30pn - Chopped salad. Chicken enchiladas. I did good grocery shopping this week

I feel like I ate something after this... But I am not sure... Could have just been a diet gingerale. 

 


Working from home today in case strep is coming back. Feeling run down. So many people in the office have new babies I want to stay away while I have plague.

Going a little stir crazy. I need to get out and have some fun. Was supposed to go camping this weekend but after just 3 hours at E3 yesterday I was weak as a kitten so I cancelled last night. I have homework anyway.

-- 

More camper van porn on craigslist. Learned interesting things about Diesel from this post... 25MPG in a van for Diesel???? Wow! Somehow the dirty hippie aspect of the van makes it less appealing. 

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/5637346891.html

--

There's an even better van... really well laid out for the space. I would probably do exactly this but maybe skip all the windows and add a cage divider for security and privacy over the swivel chair mount. I'd also make it a 4x4 :-)

http://santabarbara.craigslist.org/cto/5623322580.html

Next year, Next year

--- 

Looking forward to seeing Matt on Saturday. He said he'd take me to the Yard House at 8. Kind of late to eat. I wanted to see a burlesque show... only $7.50 a head on Goldstar, but he never wants to think ahead. They'll be twice as much tomorrow and then neither of us will want to go... because we could have gotten them cheaper the day before. Oh well.

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!


happy-1 - Wednesday Jun 15, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

8am B - Egg muffin, protein shake 

snack - Missed. Got spacey.

12pm - Chicken breast wrap, vitamin water

3pm - Apple slices

6pm - Missed, threw me off. Got a migraine

7:30 - Went to a Mexican place and ordered a combo plate. Just ate the entee, left the rice, beans chips and tortillas for breakfast tomorrow. This is a MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT. I think it is the second time in my life I figured I would eat half the meal and save it for breakfast... and actually did it!

9pm - a few fudge thumbprint cookies hoping the chocolate would kill the migraine. No such luck.


Crankypants today

---

Quite proud of myself for declining the midweek hookup with my guy for a frozen dinner and some action on his boat. And suggesting saturday instead. And when he said "we shall see what is on" I simply said "I am a lucky girl" and did not send all the things I have on my calendar as potential fun dates for us for him to look at. He needs to do the work.

---

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/15/2016:
You make me laugh at your food combos with the kombucha...i actually like them all so far! pb cups and kombucha - lol - awesomeness!

anyways, i was a HUGE grouch today too at work. It was a LONG day...and i was angry at how the day was going as the work I was doing was leaving me so agrivated! I was so angry that at lunch, i had a MASSIVE appetite fueled by emotions.

happy-1 on 06/15/2016:
Did you want to eat a raw steak? That's what I want when I am crankypants.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/16/2016:
wow...no, no raw steak! Although, i do like jerky...specifically Bacon Jerky! oh man you must try it!

also, good for you on eating half the meal.

I always eat things to finish also, that's why i like to eat so many veggies. because in general i eat a lot of volume (more than most people actually.)


Horn_of_plenty on 06/16/2016:
are the vitamin waters the zero calorie ones??


Horn_of_plenty on 06/16/2016:
also in general, good meals today Happy!


OhioRaven on 06/16/2016:
I did the same as you with chicken fajitas. What I didn't eat that night, I would stir into my eggs in the morning. Stay Happy.



happy-1 - Tuesday Jun 14, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - taco chips, guac, grilled cheese sandwich

s1 - peanut butter cups, kombucha

L 11am, early - grilled cheese, water

s2, late 3:50pm: vegan protein burrito, cranberry juice

D - salad, lentil soup, croutons, 2 juice boxes, potato chips

S3 - Protein shake, vitamin gummies


Got home from work last night, sat down, and slept where I was sitting for 13 hours.  I barely woke up for my conference call. I was supposed to go down to E3 today, but I am so wiped just from the driving to my parents and going into the office, I can barely move. Working from home today.

--

Has anyone else noticed that the ambiance at Starbucks has changed?  There is something about it that makes it difficult to be in there for more than 20 minutes in the last couple of months. Like maybe it is in the soundtrack.

--

I really, really want Starbucks.

--

Took my friend's sister shopping because her car broke down. 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

supercheeseSara on 06/14/2016:
We have a starbucks at work and its been super super hard to not go in for more than once a day. Usually its just in the morning, but lately we have been wanting to go more and more.

happy-1 on 06/14/2016:
Yeah... like suddenly it is more addictive and yet once I'm there I just want to leave right away.



happy-1 - Monday Jun 13, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - egg muffin, protein shake, coffee w half and half.

S1 - egg muffin, apple slices

S2 - Bagel and cream cheese.

L -  Bagel and cream cheese. protein shake

 


Manager says they were just happy to hear I wasn't dead on Friday and stuff happens. Yay!

--

Put together new bed yesterday.  It is awesome. Then I fell over and slept.

--

Did not text or email my guy yesterday. Day 1. 

--

I really, really want a great big carne asada burrito. With enchillada sauce. I do not want to pay $14.99 for it downstairs though!

--

I'm feeling the urge. The urge to buy unnecessary camping equipment. I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.  I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.  I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.

--

Aw. My guy emailed me to see if I am" feeling better today".

I have $5 that the next question will be: "Are you driving an hour and a half in traffic tonight for a microwaved dinner and to get lucky on my boat where nobody can use the bathroom yet and you have to choose between holding it and sneaking to the public murder bathroom in the middle of the night, then get woken up with 5 min to walk to the harbor showers at 5am to give me back my parking pass, shower, get a kiss goodbye, and leave directly without the coffee I promised I'd make you because you woke me up at 2am and I claimed I couldn't get to sleep for two hours even though I went back to snoring 5 minutes later????"

Must be love.

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Hey Happy....it's so hard not to text! I almost just gave in. thank gosh i didn't. He will only appreciate me more if he sees that I DO HAVE CONTROL and i CAN hold back and I AM IN CONTROL of my own actions.

He's a man that's TOO in control of his actions...part of why i like him so very much actually...i LOVE his personality & character.

anyways, let's help each other out with this Happy. Let's do this together! PLEASE girl! Because I will probably have a much harder time than you i think!

I have a very addictive / compulsive / obsessive side to me. Nothing diagnosed, no. But, i know myself. I get hooked easily. I'm hooked on him. But i like him. I could like him forever....I hope one day to have the opportunity.

But the opportunity is NOT now...so...let's help each other. I have to wait, till after Father's Day Weekend until trying again. I hope he'll text me before then. :-( Probably not. He doesn't text first.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
OMG. I know. All I want is his attention but it will be unsatisfying if I call or text him because he'll just be annoyed and want to get off the phone right away. UGH.

I think I'll just go camping this weekend. Maybe find a funner trip than the one I originally picked. With loads of cute guys. And not tell him... so if he pulls that "sneak into your tent" thing he was talking about last time it will be a stranger with pepper spray, lol.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
Oh geez, looked at the trip... there are lots of fun people but it is 3.5 hours south. Yikes! Might not get into the campsite till 11 pm.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Oh, I am on Day #5. And I'm looking to have at least 12 days of nothing on my end to him. :-) Unless he texts first, which he will NOT. sadly.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
What do you do to deal? I used to Tinder, but clearly not going to do that right now.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Yes, kombucha certainly is an expensive habit....glad you do like it. It sure does work well. I like to drink in mornings like i've written. Lately, i'm even extra addicted to the kombucha which is bad $$$. Also, it's just a bad habit - for me - i'm going to try to take a break from the kombucha soon...and go back to the cheaper habit of hot water with lemon in mornings. maybe with some apple cider vinegar which i do have in my cuppord too...so may as well use...yeah.

will type more...i like the break during the workday...and yes, your bed sounds EXCELLENT for studying!!!!!!!!!!! i love the couch.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
You should start making your own Kombucha! It sounds easy enough. I think I made it by accident whenever I tried to make sun tea and then forgot it on the patio. All that fermentation wasted.

http://stupideasypaleo.com/2013/05/19/homemade-kombucha/

And then make the world's best bbq sauce.

http://www.culturesforhealth.com/learn/recipe/kombucha-recipes/kombucha-bbq-sauce/


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Never tried Tinder...I guess you aren't bc you are sick right?...talk about how i deal more in my next comment, tonight..!!!

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
Tinder is a dating app. When I wasn't "committed" I'd just logon to Tinder and find someone new to talk to while whoever was misbehaving straightened themselves out... or didn't. Now that probably isn't worth the time since I wouldn't go out with anyone I met there unless my guy and I break up. But that leaves me with 0 male attention... rough way to spend a month.


Horn_of_plenty on 06/13/2016:
so yeah, truth is, i am not usually in a major need for "male attention" that often. I think that's maybe why i have a sorta binge-eating problem. I probably do eat to fill some of the void, always and for life since i was 17.

anyhow, yes, i've def heard of tinder. YOu will so laugh who i heard of it from - the guy i like! he joked about it to me.

anyways, i ended my days off tonight & totally texted him. short text. doesn't even need an answer. I didn't ask him any questions. Just said i took a walk. You see, it's summer here. where you are too duh! and summer's short. I'm sorry, but although it may show a sense of lack of strength on my part by texting him, it also shows the persistence that he knows me so well for...ugh. we'll see what he has to say to me if anything, tonight. I hope he's over his crap and i do hope he has missed my messages. of course i can't ask him that. sux.

anyways, back to it...i don't have a strong desire for male attention or "action" haha. i can go a long period without...

longest i went was this year bc i had a lot of stress, got very sick, and then was prepping for my sister's wedding...so had no time even for my own friends let alone seeing any men! so the longest i went, since the age of 25, was this year, 11 months! ugh. of no men. cured since then. lol

anyways, i am very independent and enjoy my own time, that's why i am usually looking for a man who is a bit similar in that way to myself....they're VERY hard to find.

other times, i have had a friend of benefits that lasted years. we'd see each other once a month, at MOST.

usually, at most, it's once a month, but for me ...it's usually only several times a year.......!

unless i were to finally enter some kinda of relatinoship where it's a hair more than that.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
You have not gone a year without male attention if you have been texting him on and off! Attention is just attention... not action... Having a fun flirt, the extra phone calls, the occasional coffee, the gu you always grab the treadmill next to for the happy convo at the gym. The friendship that gives you that little extra spring in your step... Action is... Action.



happy-1 - Sunday Jun 12, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

10:00 AM B - The perfect grilled cheese sandwich. I have achieved mastery. Kombucha.

S1 - 

L - 

S2 -

D - 

S3 - 


Feeling better! I actually heard my alarm this morning, even though I hit snooze a couple of times. How have I not been hearing it for 3 days? It is super loud.

I took a shower, blew out my hair and put on real clothes. I feel human today. I might even put on some makeup. Still coughing, but definitely ok to drive. I can't tell if the coughing is asthma or I actually have a chest cold too.  I might need a fresh inhaler. Ugh. Another doctor visit. I should have asked for one Thursday. I think the kombucha helped with the antibiotics though.

My guy said he'd like to see me Monday when I cancelled Sunday, but probably not going to follow up on that one with all the coughing and hacking. Plus I feel like I've been chasing him for two years and I'm tired. I could really use a couple of mid-week texts to feel special. Maybe some Trader Joe's flowers. It's just so weird... He has a really different approach to the world. He never puts out one extra ounce of effort than what is needed for anything (not just me).  I end up feeling a little undesired and like I just don't matter. I hate game-playing but I wonder what he would do if I didn't text or email this week. How long would it take for him to drop a line?  Would I get a real date to a movie or the art walk instead of "come to my boat"? Might take a while since he knows I'm sick and probably won't put me on his mental calendar for a couple of weeks. A little romance isn't too much to ask for.

Trying to decide whether monitor and laptop stands would make me more productive with homework in the trailer. Maybe a monitor arm.  The thing is, the purchases I have planned for this paycheck is more emergency canned protein to stash for my parents (nothing crazy, just the FEMA-prescribed 30 days worth of canned tuna/chicken etc. for 4 people.) 

 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/12/2016:
Glad you are feeling better. Let the boyfriend wait. lol


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
IDK but cheese and kombucha really does sound GREAT! you give me ideas! I love the Trilogy kombucha, ever tried it? super low in sugars. you may have it at Target also. It's by Synergy / GT's.

I agree with Fran above. Make him wait girl! See what comes of it.

I'm also knocking my desires down many notches these days for my guy. I am promising MYSELF not to text him for AT LEAST one straight week (started Thursday & might as well go thru this weekend too I realize...if not even MORE time than that). Why? because i know i will not be seeing him anyways. so why give him any texts. why give him any attention!

These men need to do work.

Also, I cannot risk damaging my own self esteem any more than i have. Him ignoring me was enough to test me. I've learned my lesson that with a 45yr old man, i'm going to have to seem a little less eager / less youthful? / less high energy??

idk. (i don't know!) anymore.

Men are just as frustrating as they claim us women to be.

Concentrate on your own health right now. Do the things for your own body. THEN, AFTER, go see him when you are as 100% as can be for you.

Let him wait, because trust me, if anything, he'll miss you attention. particularly texts. i say lay totally low with any contact to him. try to wait..


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
some of my best studying was done in bed / on couch LOL.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
OMG... My new adjustable bed will be awesome for studying! LOL. you are in the right position but not tempted to sleep.



happy-1 - Saturday Jun 11, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

Woke up at 1pm. Being sick is over as of 7pm. Just coughing a lot now. Called off seeing my guy tomorrow... Not feeling so great and a little mad that his "cat allergies" turned out to be contagious. I don't exactly have that loving feeling at the moment.

Today I think I ate:

  • protein shake, 2 pieces of toast
  • mini pizza, kombucha
  • green tea, peanut butter cups
  • 2 grilled cheese sandwiches
  • chicken pot pie, water

Definitey a lot of emotional eating

 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2016:
Sorry about the emotional eating. it's been a struggle for me throughout my entire adult life beginning when i was 17. I've gotten much better though, at working through it, by eating more vegetables and things that are filling but less calories. so i do still eat for fullness and overly full, but the calories add up to far less :-) I also don't buy lots of food that is terribly bad - so that when i'm home, it's not possible to reach for too many high cal options!

are you enjoying the kombucha? sounds like it! I think it would taste good after a mini-pizza! good idea! i've laid off the kombucha for the weekend, and i am happy to get back to it Monday morning! My fave brand is Kevita, seems to also be the strongest one in my opinion. This one seriously works. for awhile, i've been trying a new brand, i think it's revive?, anyways, it doesn't work as well...

yeah, i'd be more than pissed at a guy who gets me sick. I'm having a fellow friend over from Canada the weekend after July 4th...July 8th weekend...and he's had to get an xray recently because of being sick! if he get's me sick when he comes in a month...he's dead! lol....i told him he can postpone the trip if he needs to...that i'm free to get together all summer...and September, instead of July....i'll kill him if he's sick!

happy-1 on 06/12/2016:
I'd look up something cool in your area for september and ask if he can change his plans for then. You are such a hot number, no way is he going to reschedule.

I stock some high calorie foods because I am deliberately trying to lose weight slowly. I really don't want extra skin (or surgery to take it off). I am deliberately slowing it down to half a pound or less a week.

The kombucha that was on sale at target is kevita! It is yummy.

I am saving the bottles to organize my fridge. I will peel the labels off and then pour all the dressings and condiments in them so the bottles are uniform and there is less clutter. The bottles are just great!

Still looking for a solution for my camp pantry though. A lot of condiments come in plastic bottles and that's not so great in the sun. I need smaller bottles like half the size of the kombucha bottles to pour stuff into. I keep thinking A1 steak sauce bottles but that is a lot of steak sauce to eat! I need like 15.



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