B - 9:30AM Peanut butter cups and coffee. Hormonal.
S1 - snap peas, kombucha sips
L - Skipped (bad bad)
S2 - 2:20 pm - protein burrio, sauce, 2 cheese slices, 2 eggs
D - Cajun chicken alfredo pasta from trader joes with a bag of peppers chopped up and thrown in with in and micrwaved. Not awful. Coconut water.
S3 - Skipped, which was a mistake. too hungry to do homework and at parents house and can't eat.
Successfully gave up midnight snacks last night, but it took it's toll. I didn't get to bed till 3AM. But it will pay off eventually. Just gotta retrain my body. That's what I am adding to this next 6 week push. Tiny behavorial habit changes that stick are what I am after. We are all the sum of our habits.
--
Supposed to go primitive camping this weekend, but I have cramps and can't drive till all that goes away. It is distracted driving... about on the level of texting while driving.
---
Miss my guy. I feel like it was good that I left last Saturday... me sticking it out when he is being a butt is what led to all the drama and bad behavior... Basically because he was deploying/deployed I would just suck it up and keep the evening going which rewarded bad behavior, but I miss the time I didn't get to spend with him.
Also the showing of the movie we wanted to see is cancelled and the nearest one is sold out. http://www.range15.com/
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Drove home and got a shocker... My parents actually kept the house clean this week... I for once did not come home to 5 hours of chores. They even did their own laundry and took out the trash.
Mom has lost 18 lbs, Dad has lost 38lbs.
WOW!!!!!
---
Their good behavior lasted till 1:30 Am with a squabble over Mom's vision board... Sigh
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
B - leftover protein burrito, cheese, sause, 2 eggs. Yum! Iced coffee with half and half
S1 - Skipped
L - Snap peas, kombucha.
S2 - Hot dogs, mustard, beans, kraut
D - Chicken salad at farmer brothers.
S3 -
Have not logged for a few days. Got stressed and overwhelmed, mostly due to my mom chewing me out. New therapist on Betterhelp wants me to distance myself from my parents a bit. She might be right.
Picking up again! At least my eating for the last several days was OK.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
The little $40 desk got an upgrade with a monitor, stand and a laptop stand, trackpad, keyboard and mouse the last couple of days.
is it a protein burrito because the wrap it low carb? whats in it! sounds good!
http://www.target.com/p/sweet-earth-protein-lovers-breakfast-burrito-3pk-15oz/-/A-23974695
They are really good, but all packaged foods are really terrible for you.
Especially with some trader joe's enchilada sauce!
B - Skipped
S1 - Skipped
L - Early, 10:30 am. Kombucha and cobb salad. Protein drink
12:15 - Still hungry, S2 - Trader joes beans and grains frozen meal, chocolate milk with protein
D -
S3 -
Zero sleep.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
when i don't get sleep, i'm not my best self...that's for sure!
lately, i feel I could sleep for days, probably means that i should limit my use of sleeping pills. as they seem to have a horrible cummulative effect on me where if i take them a few days in a row, i become a zombee!
and the fact i had less caffeine today. and i'll stick to it like that today. as i could use some normal sleep tonight!...can't wait.
have a great rest of the day!
Backlogging an entry for Sunday. Not sure what I ate but it was all healthy stuff and on plan.... except for spaghetti with butter and parmesan at 4am because
Did not hear from my guy. Augh.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
B - Leftover enchilladas. Diet gigngerale
S1 - Skipped.
L - Vegan burrito with enchillada sauce and a slice of cheese. Kombucha. All out now. Have to get more at Costco. The one Hornofplenty likes!
S2 - wendys, diet coke, 2 grilled chicken wraps
D - yard house, steak and eggs (crazy good) skipped the sauce, iced tea with stevia
S3 -
It's date night with my guy! He said he'd take me to the Yard House. I hope we can make it to the burlesque. It is super fun and would lead to sexy rumpus!
I have finally stopped coughing. I woke up early and debeasted from tip to toes... Hair masque, exfolliation, manipedi, pixel perfect makeup... the whole thing. I put my hair in two braids so it will wave (hopefully). Not so happy with my outfit options. I have lost weight so my sexy outfits are a little disaster prone... might fall down if I am not careful! Work outfits are too worky.
I might need to get there early and run into forever21 first. Can't go home and deal with parents to grab a dress and I will be cutting it close with homework.
-----
Long story, too much to type at midnight, but I found a great dress (I bought on the way home from a date with him a year and a half ago in case there were more dates and hadn't even taken the tags off of because I was saving it... And it fit even better now that I lost weight) at my parents, went down to see my guy looking great, thrilled to finally get a nice photo of us where my bangs aren't sticking straight up from my head.... predictably hadn't planned ahead so no burlesque show, had dinner (which I had to chip in for), had a parting of the ways in the line waiting for dinner, so dinner was awkward... The parting of the ways was a big ice bucket on my libido (not his apparently) and it was late so I went home to my parents (i confess, really my dog).
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
Also, the 2 best brands (i like it strong!) of kombucha in my opinion are Kevita and Synergy / GT's! I didn't know Costco sells! I should pick it up when with my folks. Best deals i ever get is when I buy Kevita, sometimes only $2.50 each. Otherwise, everything's super $$$ at least $3.50.-$4.
So I'm happy to hear you looked great and really spent time on yourself as i'm sure it felt really goood to do so...but i'm really sorry about how it went down?
What are you going to do about your situation with him? I'm sorry about how he said it before dinner. before the night was over at all..
I honestly don't know what I will do about it. I'll probably go passive till he walks. It is always better to get dumped because then they don't show up at your house or do other random crap.
B - 10AM - Egg muffin, corn chips, diet coke.
Skipped Lunch and 2 snacks
4pm - Leftover mexican food. Yum.
7:30pn - Chopped salad. Chicken enchiladas. I did good grocery shopping this week
I feel like I ate something after this... But I am not sure... Could have just been a diet gingerale.
Working from home today in case strep is coming back. Feeling run down. So many people in the office have new babies I want to stay away while I have plague.
Going a little stir crazy. I need to get out and have some fun. Was supposed to go camping this weekend but after just 3 hours at E3 yesterday I was weak as a kitten so I cancelled last night. I have homework anyway.
--
More camper van porn on craigslist. Learned interesting things about Diesel from this post... 25MPG in a van for Diesel???? Wow! Somehow the dirty hippie aspect of the van makes it less appealing.
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/5637346891.html
--
There's an even better van... really well laid out for the space. I would probably do exactly this but maybe skip all the windows and add a cage divider for security and privacy over the swivel chair mount. I'd also make it a 4x4 :-)
http://santabarbara.craigslist.org/cto/5623322580.html
Next year, Next year
---
Looking forward to seeing Matt on Saturday. He said he'd take me to the Yard House at 8. Kind of late to eat. I wanted to see a burlesque show... only $7.50 a head on Goldstar, but he never wants to think ahead. They'll be twice as much tomorrow and then neither of us will want to go... because we could have gotten them cheaper the day before. Oh well.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
8am B - Egg muffin, protein shake
snack - Missed. Got spacey.
12pm - Chicken breast wrap, vitamin water
3pm - Apple slices
6pm - Missed, threw me off. Got a migraine
7:30 - Went to a Mexican place and ordered a combo plate. Just ate the entee, left the rice, beans chips and tortillas for breakfast tomorrow. This is a MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT. I think it is the second time in my life I figured I would eat half the meal and save it for breakfast... and actually did it!
9pm - a few fudge thumbprint cookies hoping the chocolate would kill the migraine. No such luck.
Crankypants today
---
Quite proud of myself for declining the midweek hookup with my guy for a frozen dinner and some action on his boat. And suggesting saturday instead. And when he said "we shall see what is on" I simply said "I am a lucky girl" and did not send all the things I have on my calendar as potential fun dates for us for him to look at. He needs to do the work.
---
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
anyways, i was a HUGE grouch today too at work. It was a LONG day...and i was angry at how the day was going as the work I was doing was leaving me so agrivated! I was so angry that at lunch, i had a MASSIVE appetite fueled by emotions.
also, good for you on eating half the meal.
I always eat things to finish also, that's why i like to eat so many veggies. because in general i eat a lot of volume (more than most people actually.)
B - taco chips, guac, grilled cheese sandwich
s1 - peanut butter cups, kombucha
L 11am, early - grilled cheese, water
s2, late 3:50pm: vegan protein burrito, cranberry juice
D - salad, lentil soup, croutons, 2 juice boxes, potato chips
S3 - Protein shake, vitamin gummies
Got home from work last night, sat down, and slept where I was sitting for 13 hours. I barely woke up for my conference call. I was supposed to go down to E3 today, but I am so wiped just from the driving to my parents and going into the office, I can barely move. Working from home today.
--
Has anyone else noticed that the ambiance at Starbucks has changed? There is something about it that makes it difficult to be in there for more than 20 minutes in the last couple of months. Like maybe it is in the soundtrack.
--
I really, really want Starbucks.
--
Took my friend's sister shopping because her car broke down.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
B - egg muffin, protein shake, coffee w half and half.
S1 - egg muffin, apple slices
S2 - Bagel and cream cheese.
L - Bagel and cream cheese. protein shake
Manager says they were just happy to hear I wasn't dead on Friday and stuff happens. Yay!
--
Put together new bed yesterday. It is awesome. Then I fell over and slept.
--
Did not text or email my guy yesterday. Day 1.
--
I really, really want a great big carne asada burrito. With enchillada sauce. I do not want to pay $14.99 for it downstairs though!
--
I'm feeling the urge. The urge to buy unnecessary camping equipment. I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch. I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch. I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.
--
Aw. My guy emailed me to see if I am" feeling better today".
I have $5 that the next question will be: "Are you driving an hour and a half in traffic tonight for a microwaved dinner and to get lucky on my boat where nobody can use the bathroom yet and you have to choose between holding it and sneaking to the public murder bathroom in the middle of the night, then get woken up with 5 min to walk to the harbor showers at 5am to give me back my parking pass, shower, get a kiss goodbye, and leave directly without the coffee I promised I'd make you because you woke me up at 2am and I claimed I couldn't get to sleep for two hours even though I went back to snoring 5 minutes later????"
Must be love.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
He's a man that's TOO in control of his actions...part of why i like him so very much actually...i LOVE his personality & character.
anyways, let's help each other out with this Happy. Let's do this together! PLEASE girl! Because I will probably have a much harder time than you i think!
I have a very addictive / compulsive / obsessive side to me. Nothing diagnosed, no. But, i know myself. I get hooked easily. I'm hooked on him. But i like him. I could like him forever....I hope one day to have the opportunity.
But the opportunity is NOT now...so...let's help each other. I have to wait, till after Father's Day Weekend until trying again. I hope he'll text me before then. :-( Probably not. He doesn't text first.
I think I'll just go camping this weekend. Maybe find a funner trip than the one I originally picked. With loads of cute guys. And not tell him... so if he pulls that "sneak into your tent" thing he was talking about last time it will be a stranger with pepper spray, lol.
will type more...i like the break during the workday...and yes, your bed sounds EXCELLENT for studying!!!!!!!!!!! i love the couch.
http://stupideasypaleo.com/2013/05/19/homemade-kombucha/
And then make the world's best bbq sauce.
http://www.culturesforhealth.com/learn/recipe/kombucha-recipes/kombucha-bbq-sauce/
anyhow, yes, i've def heard of tinder. YOu will so laugh who i heard of it from - the guy i like! he joked about it to me.
anyways, i ended my days off tonight & totally texted him. short text. doesn't even need an answer. I didn't ask him any questions. Just said i took a walk. You see, it's summer here. where you are too duh! and summer's short. I'm sorry, but although it may show a sense of lack of strength on my part by texting him, it also shows the persistence that he knows me so well for...ugh. we'll see what he has to say to me if anything, tonight. I hope he's over his crap and i do hope he has missed my messages. of course i can't ask him that. sux.
anyways, back to it...i don't have a strong desire for male attention or "action" haha. i can go a long period without...
longest i went was this year bc i had a lot of stress, got very sick, and then was prepping for my sister's wedding...so had no time even for my own friends let alone seeing any men! so the longest i went, since the age of 25, was this year, 11 months! ugh. of no men. cured since then. lol
anyways, i am very independent and enjoy my own time, that's why i am usually looking for a man who is a bit similar in that way to myself....they're VERY hard to find.
other times, i have had a friend of benefits that lasted years. we'd see each other once a month, at MOST.
usually, at most, it's once a month, but for me ...it's usually only several times a year.......!
unless i were to finally enter some kinda of relatinoship where it's a hair more than that.
10:00 AM B - The perfect grilled cheese sandwich. I have achieved mastery. Kombucha.
S1 -
L -
S2 -
D -
S3 -
Feeling better! I actually heard my alarm this morning, even though I hit snooze a couple of times. How have I not been hearing it for 3 days? It is super loud.
I took a shower, blew out my hair and put on real clothes. I feel human today. I might even put on some makeup. Still coughing, but definitely ok to drive. I can't tell if the coughing is asthma or I actually have a chest cold too. I might need a fresh inhaler. Ugh. Another doctor visit. I should have asked for one Thursday. I think the kombucha helped with the antibiotics though.
My guy said he'd like to see me Monday when I cancelled Sunday, but probably not going to follow up on that one with all the coughing and hacking. Plus I feel like I've been chasing him for two years and I'm tired. I could really use a couple of mid-week texts to feel special. Maybe some Trader Joe's flowers. It's just so weird... He has a really different approach to the world. He never puts out one extra ounce of effort than what is needed for anything (not just me). I end up feeling a little undesired and like I just don't matter. I hate game-playing but I wonder what he would do if I didn't text or email this week. How long would it take for him to drop a line? Would I get a real date to a movie or the art walk instead of "come to my boat"? Might take a while since he knows I'm sick and probably won't put me on his mental calendar for a couple of weeks. A little romance isn't too much to ask for.
Trying to decide whether monitor and laptop stands would make me more productive with homework in the trailer. Maybe a monitor arm. The thing is, the purchases I have planned for this paycheck is more emergency canned protein to stash for my parents (nothing crazy, just the FEMA-prescribed 30 days worth of canned tuna/chicken etc. for 4 people.)
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
I agree with Fran above. Make him wait girl! See what comes of it.
I'm also knocking my desires down many notches these days for my guy. I am promising MYSELF not to text him for AT LEAST one straight week (started Thursday & might as well go thru this weekend too I realize...if not even MORE time than that). Why? because i know i will not be seeing him anyways. so why give him any texts. why give him any attention!
These men need to do work.
Also, I cannot risk damaging my own self esteem any more than i have. Him ignoring me was enough to test me. I've learned my lesson that with a 45yr old man, i'm going to have to seem a little less eager / less youthful? / less high energy??
idk. (i don't know!) anymore.
Men are just as frustrating as they claim us women to be.
Concentrate on your own health right now. Do the things for your own body. THEN, AFTER, go see him when you are as 100% as can be for you.
Let him wait, because trust me, if anything, he'll miss you attention. particularly texts. i say lay totally low with any contact to him. try to wait..
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sounds like all is good in your world and your parents are behaving too! a clean house is always nice!
Yes, it's about retraining yourself. I was in a really bad habit during last early fall of eating in the middle of the night. worst habit ever, yes! i have also since stopped it.