Thursday 9/16/21: I bragged about my cat on the phone where she could hear... and immediately after she meowed, hissed, bit and scratched me... now it is almost midnight and I am still up.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Wed 9/15/21:
Fell off track Monday after wrangling dad into a dr video visit where we figured out he has diarrhea because he's chowing down on jam, ice cream and honey, then electrolyte imbalances causing fatigue. He hadn't told me he was out of gatorade. Augh. Not COVID.
I don't know why but I stayed up till 1 am and botched Tuesday. Today I had to go get labs done first thing, then I spent my evening getting stuff together for my OT appointment tomorrow... so I missed today's workout too.
But despite insomnia I am in bed with the lights out at 8:30 as planned. The cat has tucked me in. I can do this.
Yoga tomorrow at 6:30 am.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Lights out at 8:30pm is enviable. Have fun at yoga this morning! I'll think of you tonight when I start my session :-)
also, nice job getting back on track later. i hope you get to do your yoga tomorrow!
For Sunday 9/12/21:
Having a small brain fry moment. Super grateful to have this space to dump it out and make some sense of it. Today is Sunday and I need to plan my week and refocus. I have had a super sucessful week... It was so successful, I wil say it in all caps... just to emphasize it.
I HAD A SUPER SUCCESSFUL WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
However... this was accomplished at the expense of:
So how do I tackle the issue of dad is still sick this week and stay on course to do my bedtimes and workouts? What do I sacrifice and how do I do it?
Right now this is what a day looks like:
To move dad forward, I have to try to do things with him at 10AM before my brain gives out. That looks like an hour on paper, but what it really does is K/O my entire day till bedtime. Do I let dad hash it out his own way another week to try to solidify my 1 week off success into 2 weeks? Or do I try to stretch just a little bit and push to get him to take care of himself?
I tried to posit that question to the Exish over text and was told to "talk to a therapist or a life planner". It took everything I had in me not to tell him to go date somebody else.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
I'm not sure what to say about Dad. It's GOOD that even being sequestered, that he's still able to function and take care of himself. I don't have any suggestions as to approach the situation, except to say that if YOU get sick - COVID or otherwise - you will not be able to help in any capacity. (I believe you have already come to this realization a couple of entries ago, when Dad first started getting sick.)
WOOHOO CONGRATS ON YOUR SUPER SUCCESSFUL WEEK!
Are the aids/nurses still coming to help you with your dad? what happened to them? that would help give you a break so you can do your own work...
it is very hard to be a caretaker!
Friday 9/10/21:
3 cardio+yoga workouts in a row including yesterday. Just gotta do it again today. The cat will help. I rolled over at 4am and the cat jumped onto my pillow an inch from my head from her perch on my bike desk. "Oh good! You're up! Plop! Give me treats!"
"Noo kitty, no treats till Alexa starts playing the Lumineers. I'll just stay here and pretend to be asleep. Maybe you'll give up and go away. I'm not going to train you to wake me up before my alarm."
"But... Look how sweet, soft, and cuddly I am. You can't resist my love. Purr purr purr."
"Soooo soft..."
"Gotcha."
"Damnit!!!!"
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Thank you so much for the information on the Garmin devices!!! I'm takin' notes, as I think my current FitBit Alta is dying a slow death.
Hey, GOOD JOB on the cardio and yoga!!!!!
so did you give her a treat when she woke you!?!?
She's figured out I can only take so much fur on bare skin and will eventually give her treats to get her to leave me alone... so yes... augh...
Wednesday, September 8, 2021...
Gasp! I ran out of cat treats this morning. You should have seen Momma Cat... "If there's no treats, I'm not waking your butt up to do yoga at 4:30 AM. Get yourself up."
Still not tracking here sufficiently to move forward on habits. my brain is just not "there". I am doing a good job of tracking my time though... and that is very helpful. Yesterday and today I am on the "up" swing where I am up on time and doing yoga and cardio. Hopefully the more days I can rack up together of those, the more my VO2 Max will improve and I will have more energy throughout the day for longer. Today after my workout, I walked to the store and back. I sat down in my chair to eat my GIANT salad before cleaning the kitchen... and I was just "done". Took me like 2 hours to remember to check my Body Battery. Garmin says my body battery was at 9, I was bottoming out, and I needed to look for ways to rest today. I think I am off the hook for cleaning the kitchen.
At least the cat treat situation was rectified. I bought 2 of each flavor. Hopefully she will wake me up tomorrow. I need the help.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
May I ask which model of Garmin you have? AND I would also like to know if you recommend THAT model or another model.
I have the Forerunner 245, but if I was going to do it over again, I would get the Fenix 6 pro with solar. There are way more insights and I bet they are worth it. The price is way down... REI had it for $700 with a $70 member dividend. That's like $630. https://buy.garmin.com/en-US/US/p/641375
How does VO2 Max relate to pulse oximetry? We have those. Always good: upper 90’s.
Dumping all the clutter out of my brain... At the expense of using this time to do cardio on my bike and go to the grocery store for my dad. Sigh... But an ounce of thought prevents tons of waste.
Pitch on Thursday went well. We'll do another meeting on it. Basically looking to take my adult ADHD book club notes and turn them into a digital coaching program. I'm excited about it. It's a chance to use my brain again. It's been a while, but I can dust it off and get it running again (like an old rusty lawnmower).
To keep that going and build my trajectory to being able to use it as a line on my resume to show I haven't fallen off the earth since 2017 when I job search for January... I need to make effective tradeoffs and maintain boundaries.
Except doing it makes me feel like a jerk.
Thursday's tradeoffs
Thursday I was exhausted from 3 doctor's appointments for myself this week, but pushed through to get ready for the pitch. Done.
Thursday night dad had diarrhea. He said he had to go to the ER after talking to an advice nurse on the phone. He got dressed, I loaded the car, and then he did a million small tasks he didn't need to do before going, so I geve up and went to bed. I was just too tired to keep going. It felt like a Drama King moment... Get all wound up and then don't do anything about it. I feel like a jerk for going to bed and not pushing to take him there, but I was so tired it was all a long tunnel and my window for driving was closing. He has a safety alert necklace he can use if there's a real emergency.
Outcome: I got through my pitch, I got sleep and was up on time the next morning, Dad was in about the same shape as he was the night before the next day.
Friday's tradeoffs
Friday at 5am I offered to take him to the ER again. He wanted to sleep. I let him sleep, washed 2 sinks of dishes, ran my Garmin workout. In the mid-morning he still wouldn't go to the ER, but wanted me to do a bunch of stuff for him. I felt like it was another Drama King moment where he was trying to use that he was terribly sick and needed to go to the ER (but won't go) to get me to do things I didn't plan to do that day... So I said let's reconvene after my coworking call. He was flummoxed and said well I guess I heve to let you! I said "Great!" and did my call. It took me a little bit to shed the stress and reset my brain, but eventually I did it.
I opened the mail, sorted out papers. Then I searched diarrhea online, found it's a COVID symptom and the incubation period lines up with the last time the nurse was here. Then I tried to get him to have a home health nurse come give him a COVID test ($125) but he wouldn't do it. When he tried to do a business session with me, I said no... Diarrhea may mean you have COVID. I don't want to touch what you are touching and be in your room until you get a COVID test. Logic being that if I go down with COVID too, even if it's not totally awful because I'm vaccinated, I can't keep things going for him and I lose more ground for myself. Also, the caregiver service won't staff COVID households to avoid contagion to other clients. The little kitchenete and bathroom in my bedroom mean that I can quarantine him in the rest of the house if I just avoid shared areas and keep washing my hands everytime I touch something.
Today's (Saturday) planned tradeoffs:
Woke up on time but exhausted. That 1 hour of sleep makes a big difference. It's been a week of not enough REM, and the Glipizide keeps my Garmin Body Battery level from charging, which means I am pushing sand all day. I'm also not getting all my 10 habits in. I'm not sure if that is because I started doing the Garmin coach and training plans for running and cycling and doing something new drains my cognitive energy, using the time tracking template screws with the good set of habits I already developed and made a template to support that is very different from the generic one I made for book club, or because the time spent on time tracking for the book club exercises takes time away from doing my 10 habits, crunching stats, and then logging them here... which lowered my accountability support and resulted in me not paying attention to them and not doing them.
Things I can do to sort that out:
For yesterday - Friday 9/3/21:
Last night I was definitely ready to go to bed at 9, but there's not much in the house my dad is willing to eat (there's food, it's just not junky and binge eating friendly), so I made up some chicken thighs about 7:30, but because I was using the toaster oven and spacing out, it took till 9. Then I had one (broke the 14h fasting rule of not eating after 5pm because it just smelled so good). Then I watched Gilmore Girls for a little bit.
At 10, Mama Cat came over and poked me to remind me to get my butt to bed. I deeply appreciated it... This cat is really funny... She waits for Alexa to start playing The Lumineers as my wakeup music and turn my nightlight on, then she goes full love-on to wake me up. Purrs and boops for petting, perched on my chest... It's the best part of my day (except that I am desperate to pee and hanging on to enjoy the love). Then she reminds me to go to bed. Once I'm in and settled, she comes over to tuck me in and say good night. She kneads her cat bed next to my pillow, then boops and purrs a slightly less intense love on session till she decides I've had enough and it is time for me to go to sleep.
Donkey was right... a mama cat just moms you.... which is nice. She lives up to her name!!! I feel like my mom is super happy watching this cat in her new home. I bet she is super satisfied that this skinny yowling alleycat is a full fledged spoiled house cat who has chilled into this super great cat (who has also stopped biting and scratching me since the last time I clipped her claws).
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Good luck with your business plans! Sounds exciting!
Never had a mama cat. Have 3 neutered boys. So cute how they kiss & groom one another. They love the enclosed catio & run out the minute I open the window.
I am excited :-)
I am excited :-)
Sorry your dad was.a bit unwell and I hope his digestion improves.
The boundaries you have set are def helping you get work done; go you!
I am excited about your developing project!!!
As I was reading your entry, I was thinking to myself, "That's a good momma cat". *Warms my heart*
Lesson learned... If I don't post here, eventually I just fall off track completely.
Thursday 9/2/21:
I'm glad it helps!!!!
Tues 8/31/21:
Still getting back on track. My time study has captured a full cycle of being on track, falling off track, struggling to get back up, and the mystery "hard reset" it does to get me back to waking up at 4 or 5 AM like when I was working.
Pulminology referral got approved... But I didn't get notified. AUGH. Making the appointment today.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
That's kind of cool to see, actually visually, the cycle of ups and downs and ups.
I hope that you are able to get an appointment soon, and not have to wait 3-4 weeks, like some of Husband's referrals have taken.
Fri 8-27-21:
Still struggling to get back on habit. Cardio today was a fail. I tried to go to the beach and run. Parked at the top of the hill, got half way, realized I wasn't going to make it the whole way down and back. Partially exhausted... partially too many blisters and no socks (forgot my socks). I can make it to the green belt to run... so that is next week.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
the little photo of cat and fan is cute. took me a moment to realize what the photo is of!
always love seeing little pets!
i feel you about getting back into habit. one habit i will have to get back into is getting up even EARLIER to get to work...if i want better exercise before work starts without so much rushing...
another habit that could be useful is getting up early enough not to have to pay for the toll bridge in the morning; would save me, just by mornings, over $35 a week...that's a lot of savings per month...i should do it...but it involves getting up earlier, much earlier...
i love the greenbelts/greenways here. i love to walk beside the waters, which is usually where they always lead to or are beside. also sometimes the greenways are along highways; but that is very nice too. there's usually water also near the highways....just nice views and being out and about but not too far away from civilization!
sorry about your blisters. maybe use some antifungul/antibiotic cream so you have no additional problems as they heal.
Wed, 8-26-21: Have fallen off logging... but not off track completely. I finally managed to capture my up/down cycle of on track off track by accident in a time study for adhd book club. Augh. Spoiler alert... not a mood thing. Straight up time managememt.
In the meantime, I've done 2 workouts with Garmin coach and training plans... still learning how... but my personal trainer is very supportive.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Isn't it good news, though, that it's a time management thing? Because you know what's blocking you, and you can work on it. (?) That may be easier said than done, of course.
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Because she is still up and wants me to play
Jacky82020 on 09/17/2021:
I forget now. Was this a stray you took in? My cats have never hissed, scratched or bitten. One does a playful puppy kind of mouthing thing. Even the feral I worked with outside for 2 years before bringing inside, was always a good boy. Shy & avoidant & I always respected his boundaries & let him approach me on his terms. Many times of despair when I thought I’d be sitting on the porch in inclement weather forever.
Yes, a stray. She was curled up in my armpit, I was petting her without really thinking about it for once, then HISS MEOW CHOMP.
Donkey on 09/17/2021:
This made me laugh out loud literally, as I was on my bike this morning. Of course she did and of course she does -- she's such a tortie!
"Oh I'm such a good kitty? Clearly I have some leeway to play with. Let's start with a CHOMP. Then tonight I will keep you up for an HOUR and you won't want to stick me in the bathroom because you will feel too guilty to sleep."
Jacky82020 on 09/17/2021:
The spoiled brat!
So spoiled!!!
Horn_of_plenty on 09/18/2021:
now that's human-cat love! :)
It's a conflicted but worthwhile relationship.
It's a conflicted but worthwhile relationship.