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happy-1 - Thursday Sep 13, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

225.4, but I got out my tape measure today and it says I have dropped 2% bodyfat in the last 6 weeks... but it doesn’t take into account all the measurements... I’ve lost a BUNCH of inches since last measurements... 1.25 inches of underarm wing fat (less flapping when I say goodbye), 2.5 inches of back fat (no unseemly bulging above and below my bras forcing me into giant car cover plus size bras), .5 inch off my waist... but it overall looks better there, 1.5 inches off my butt, and a whole inch off each of my calves!!! Really excited about this because I feel like Popeye when I look at them and they are the reason I can’t buy rugged quality black boots, just fashion quality. So basically I am burning fat, toning up, but not dropping weight. Also, my Lucky Brand goal jeans are now the only jeans that fit, and I can wear them with a tight-fitting tank top now!!!!

Slow progress is still progress.

Also, really feeling the difference in my neck today. I woke up without pain or numbness. My dad tried to fight with me and I kept calm and said his reaction was out of scale and we both needed to count to 10 (I had finished his laundry because he fell asleep and he flipped out... I do this all the time and usually he appreciates it but today it felt like I was controlling him).

Blah! Still a little thrown off. I’m hungry and I need coffee, bad. Logging here resettles my brain. It’s Thursday and time to take my dog out for the K9 meetup, complicated by the intermittent peeing issue. Time to buy a diaper I guess.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 09/13/2018:
Yes, progress is progress. I even like to say, 'not gaining IS progress'!

happy-1 on 09/13/2018:
Ok! I like that. Hugs!!!!

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2018:
Yes....It's all progress CONGRATS!

happy-1 on 09/13/2018:
TY!!! Hugs! Maybe I will follow you to Onederland!

horn_of_plenty on 09/13/2018:
the sleeping pills i take here and there are Sleepinol - over the counter but soooo strong!

Your weightloss is so great! it's gradual over time which means you'll keep it off...way to go, senorita! we are proud of you!

happy-1 on 09/13/2018:
Hugs! Love the support here. It’s a pretty amazing group here!

Donkey on 09/14/2018:
Cheering you on! I seldom see (my own) progress with inches, so I'm quite impressed that the tape measure is so kind to you :)

happy-1 on 09/14/2018:
Right??? I was banging my head against the wall on not making any progress in this time where I consider my first priority to get in better shape so I can win over all the challenges before me... but then I took measurements and saw that I am in fact making progress.

Are you taking all your measurements? like forearms, upper arms, calves, knees, thighs? Do you do fitness tests every 6 weeks like how long you can hold a plank, time to run a mile, resting heart rate, blood pressure, etc?

happy-1 - Wednesday Sep 12, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

No weigh in today. Was kind of a spaz this morning because I slept wrong. I will have to buy some more foam pillows. They are hard like a shelf.

Wish legcramps was still posting... I have decided to buy a bike trainer used so that I can do cardio and practice riding in clips at home. I saw a couple used at play it again sports yesterday for $70 but i don’t know what I am doing with them and I know quality is important for stability.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/12/2018:
maybe research that model and see what weight it allows and reviews....then you'll know better if it is for you~~

i slept like a log...took a sleeping pill and slept at least 10 hrs and could have slept even more if not for my darn alarm! lol

happy-1 on 09/12/2018:
I need those. Took mine at 8:30pm and still waiting for it to kick in.

happy-1 on 09/12/2018:
I suspect I am going to want a $2k and just end up buying something on craigslist for $50 so i can do cardio while watching tv on mornings I am to anxious to walk my dog. I feel less aware of the goings on around me and vulnerable

Donkey on 09/12/2018:
I did a little research a couple of years ago on bike trainers. Some can be quite loud, apparently, so it's worth spending more to get a quiet trainer.

happy-1 on 09/12/2018:
Yeah... That’s probably what will happen... I’ll want the most fancy, expensive thing out there, lol. There’s a cycling game out now called Zwift that looks awesome... You buy a smart trainer and then it adjusts the resistance to match the route... but I can’t tell if it is suitable for someone who is basically a lump of human and just getting started.

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2018:
Is it getting dangerous in your area too? All of Michigan is on alert now..….women and girls as young as 2 yrs old are being kidnapped......they are walking around and watching kids in shopping carts, old ladies yell for help in a car in a parking lot and if you stop to talk to he a guy jumps out, and throws you in the car...kids at bus stops...it's crazy...I guess we just can't be too careful anymore....crazy world we live in.

happy-1 on 09/13/2018:
I live in a ghetto in LA. It’s always dangerous. I always carry personal defense and also bear spray when I walk my dog. The bear spray is for the coyotes. We have packs and they eat pets.

BearCountryGG on 09/13/2018:
I used to carry pepper spray years ago ( the early 80's) when I sold Real Estate...never had to use it thankfully but came too close once....I was driving a guy to see some vacant acreage......he was creeping me out...and wanted me to walk the land with him and I decided that would not be wise...I told him he could walk it.….he wasn't happy about that.....I was so relieved to get back to the office!!! I've looked into the bear spray for walking around our area....but the cans are so big......I would really like it better if it was in the smaller pocket size canisters.....

happy-1 - Tuesday Sep 11, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

No weigh in this morning. I am a lump of human. Couldn't sleep at all last night. Fitbit says I got to sleep about 2:30 and woke up on time at 6AM... But my brain didn't kic in till 11AM. I don't think Starbucks via packets have enough caffeine in them. AUGH.

Discovery 1: My dog loves unsalted, dry roasted peanuts as much as I do. Easy way to get calories into my old pup!!!!

Discovery 2: CBD oil for dogs is useless on sore muscles topically applied. I'm not sure there is anything in this bottle.

Discovery 3: There is a super-hot plus model on the H&M site now!!!!  Why yes... You can be a plus size, normal boobs, and still be hot!!!! Also I don't think her hair and makeup takes an hour every day... She looks like she just got out of the gym and is ready to take on her workday! http://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0678224001.html


Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/12/2018:
nice to see models of all sizes....glad you are liking it too! sorry the pain relief doesn't work for your dog!

happy-1 on 09/12/2018:
well my dog really likes the cookies from this brand and chills after 2 and wants to cuddle but I dunno the oil works much.

I liked her because she has a similar build to me if I had better abs... but she’s an attainable vision for me, even if she’s 20 years younger.

BearCountryGG on 09/12/2018:
I also like to ee models in all sizes...it does help to know how clothes will fit a person that is really that size.

happy-1 on 09/13/2018:
I just appreciate a plus size model without ginormous boobs. I get that they are the most popular bodyshape for guys... but for those of us who don’t fit that mold it gets super depressing. Nothing like being a size 22 and a B cup to get you dates.

happy-1 - Monday Sep 10, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4


Today I have OT and yoga. Did not get as much done this weekend as I wanted to. But today is a new day and I will try again. Since Friday, I moved my bed and personal stuff into the spare room and created a workspace in the living room. I set up my old art desk and got the file cabinet in place. I also pre-treated the carpets with nature’s miracle, which needs a couple of weeks to do its job before I can use soap on the carpets. I made several dinners, washed dishes x6 sink full, took my mom grocery shopping/errand shopping, and repaired odds and ends. I booked yoga classes for m, w, and su. I ordered a couple of things to get me out looking good and most importantly, feeling good (I just can’t deal with the sensory element of too big clothes). I restarted my Rise membership and logged all my meals to the nutritionist. I incorporated her feedback to several of my meals. I flaked on a date, watched too much Netflix, got into a snafu with puppet dude, and went into and came out of a “bummed cycle “. I did not walk my dog enough or take her on an adventure, so I am glad I have the k9 happy hour this thursday to make me accountable to get her out to a park. Tuesday I will treat myself to a $5 movie at the AMC as a reward for pushing through anxiety this weekend and getting at least 1 action done per day to move forward.


OT says to limit my to do list to 3-5 things in addition to habits and that most adults take an hour to get dressed and ready in the morning. That is staggering. I don’t know how I would have done anything in my life if I planned to take an hour just to dress and eat. She said that yes, chronic pain can lead to a constant sense of doom... Constant pain =‘s a constant stress signal to the brain and irritability and conflict reinforces it... but I need to see a neck specialist to determine what is wrong with my neck and what can be done to make me more consistently free of pain. Anyway I have a list of things to focus on, and I need to devlelop more realistic expectations to reduce anxiety.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/10/2018:
Sounds like it was a busy weekend!

graindart on 09/10/2018:
My wife sets her alarm for 90 minutes before she needs to leave the house. I set mine for 15 to 20 minutes before. I don't have a clue what she does for 90 minutes, but she says she doesn't like to feel rushed.

BearCountryGG on 09/11/2018:
I agree with limiting the number of things...it's more satisfying to get all things done..then to feel like you didn't accomplish what you wanted.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/11/2018:
WOW...it does take me around an hour to get ready in morning..including the shower, dressing, eating, relax a hair, and packing food.

you are doing great with your plans and very forward thinking.

i do agree with your OT...if you limit tasks, there's more of a chance you can get them done :)

$5 movie sounds awesome!

happy-1 - Sunday Sep 09, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Didn’t get everything done yesterday I wanted. Mostly because I took my mom to 3 stores which I hadn’t planned on and gave myself a headache that laid me out at 6pm on. Should have just gone to sleep then, but got hooked on Iron Fist S2 on Netflix and then couldn’t sleep till 3am. Life lessons. At least I got up at 9ish and didn’t sleep so long I won’t sleep tonight. Just back on the horse. Day 1. Ugh.

Also, my DIY ear piercing isn’t healing and my ear swelled up last night so off to the Minute Clinic for bumps, bruises, and general home idiocy.

So that list from yesterday is still in progress. I may not be losing fat but I am losing inches. Had to buy a new pair of yoga pants in size M-Tall, a smaller belt, and a smaller bra. Bless Old Navy and their tall sizes. Bless H&M for their Swedish bras that fit the ridiculously tall, fat, flat-chested women of America and have long enough bra straps. My size 14 jeans are falling down and I may need to order size 12s soon... but I want good ones!!!! So that will be a clearance item. Wish Lucky Brand made tall sizes.


No fast food pact with puppet dude went terribly wrong. The pact was to not eat anything from a drive thru or fast food restaurant for 1 week. I passed on pizza, tacos, everything this week and made healthy versions at home. He went to Farmer Boys yesterday and confessed to breaking our pact. First one to break has to do a truth or dare... So I said 1/4 tsp pepper sauce, down the hatch. I really didn’t think it was that bad (I put that on my eggs) but he said I was mean. I told him not to do it then... no big deal... but it turned into a thing because he said he was honor-bound to show me that he can do something he said he would do. I said don’t do it because it’s not any fun any more and if you do it now it will just make me sad. I asked what he would have dared me to do and he said to go on another date with him. I said why dare me to do a date? We were already going to do that. A dare to go on a date makes it super awkward. What’s the point of dating a man-boy standup comedian who makes puppets if you can’t do stupid stuff together? I don’t want to be grown up and serious all the time. Sometimes I just want to be stupid and have some fun.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 09/10/2018:
He sounds shy.

happy-1 on 09/10/2018:
Probably. Neither a good thing or a bad thing. Just a thing. I’m shy too but not 1:1.

happy-1 - Saturday Sep 08, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4


Was on-plan yesterday but gained a lb back. It may take a couple of weeks to get down past 221 again. Grrrr. Neck was fine but talking to that OKC dude on the phone wore me out emotionally and I was too tired to do anything. Stayed in last night and used a digital scale to pack oatmeal and snacks for the week... like they were dime bags in a movie.

Puppet dude had a bad low blood sugar episode after his run and I slept 12h and missed his call so he went home and to drive Uber. Why do I feel so out of it when I sleep a long time? I went to.bed at 9 last night... I should have naturally woken up about 5AM. My dad caught me still sleeping at 8am but I didn’t really move till 9AM.

Plan for today is to keep taking advantage of productivity streak.

1. Do some basics for functionality while working on getting furniture up on foam to clean the rugs. It’s hard because everything has another project in front of it... To put a bookcase up on blocks, I need to take the books out and list them on ebay, put the bookcase on the blocks, then put them back in.

2. Wait for the temp to go down and take my dog to the park and do a yoga video there. Just my dog, my phone and my yoga mat.

3. Buy and pack my supplements for the month.

4. Book classpass classes for the week.

5. Work on OT homework and notes.

6. Make more doggie dinners and our dinner.

I kind of run out of gas at 8pm these days... so 11 AM now... I can do this.


Also, I incorporated a cesar salad into pizza night for my parents and served that with boneless wings first before putting out the pizza. I wasn’t doing salads for them because my dad won’t eat dark leafy greens and iceberg has no nutritional value on top of which dressing adds fat and calories . Nutritionist says use salad anyway because it will trigger stretch receptors to feel full. I also served plain grapes for dessert. It definitely helped my dad feel like he had a full meal... but probably because I made up the whole bag of boneless wings. Still better than cracking open a second pizza, even if it was ultra thin crust.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 09/08/2018:
Good plans for today! And I agree with your entire approach to pizza night. Well done!

happy-1 on 09/09/2018:
Tonight I made chinese food and I stir fried coleslaw to go alongside after I browned the chicken. Easy add on veg!

graindart on 09/08/2018:
I can't eat pizza when I'm on-plan. I just don't have the desire to eat 1 or 2 slices and stop. Buffalo wings are one of my favorite things and we'll be having them tonight. Unfortunately on-plan means I won't be dipping them in blue cheese dressing tonight.

happy-1 on 09/08/2018:
I crave ranch. If you take greek yogurt and mix it with a packet of ranch dressing, it’s a good fake substitute

Maria7 on 09/08/2018:
Hope you are having a good day.

Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2018:
i know what you mean by getting emotionally / physically drained by talking on the phone to someone too long or similar scenarios even at work - keep your limits, next time you may want to decide beforehand how long you can stay on phone and simply hang up saying to him you have to leave the house & can't be talking now...set up limits.

BearCountryGG on 09/09/2018:
For me...I'm finding the more time I spend on the iPhone/computer...the less I actually achieve. For me it's busy work...something to keep me from actually doing something. If I'm not motivated......I turn the computer off and set my timer...and get busy......I can easily spend hours playing words with friends, surfing the net or looking for apps....and in the end...I have nothing to show for it.....so I have had to pry myself away from it...it's so addictive and I feel so tired yet I've done basically nothing......I've had to go back to my old ways...and just turn off the electronics and actually do the work.

happy-1 - Friday Sep 07, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

223.7. Still up from my low but working on it. Fell off my new “trying” streak last night into a bag of fair trade dark chocolate buttons... like M and Ms, but not killing the planet while stuffing my face. They are only in recipe-sized bags and I was going to make single servings but they didn’t make it all the way home. So starting over on Day 1 again. I gave myself this week off from workouts to do chores at home while my neck is still “working” and have managed to move the easy chairs out of my old bedroom and my bed into their place. I can’t remember the last time I was able to move something like a leather recliner on my own... let alone a bed. Kind of on par with the shock level a couple of weeks ago when I was able to put all my weight on my hands and walk my feet up to the top of the yoga mat... I totally am just astonished and shocked. Still a lot of work to be able to sleep in there but I hope to be off the couch and in my bed by the end of next week.

Currently celebrating at my favorite diner where I ordered a single cheeseburger lettuce wrap (instead of my former double per instructions from nutritionist on Rise) and an order of sweet potato fries with ranch (half of which I put in a tupperware container brought specifically for that purpose to cut calories without creating trash). Tiny changes.

Friday night. Have a date off OKC for froyo. Between now and then I am hitting the 99cent store for some white cloths to wash down all the walls... maybe the grocery store. No plans for the weekend other than church Sunday and Classpass yoga. I’m poking around the app store trying to find a meal plan, coach, and workouts all in one. I tried 8fit but it was buggy. Probably just a bad release so I’ll try it again in a couple of months. Maybe I’ll try the DDP yoga app at the park with my dog. I bought 2 Gaiam yoga blocks at Marshalls this week... A frugal buy at $4.99 each!

So weird and foreign to me to think “OK I will do this task now” and then just do it like I used to. Like a week now. I know I have a crazy high pain tolerance, but I can’t believe one tiny little “pop” at my skull joint makes such a difference. Had to reschedule OT appointment this morning so I didn’t get to ask her today if that was enough of something wrong to have made everything so hard. I had some neck pain after I moved my bed frame before I warmed up, freaked out, and rescheduled for Monday.


Talked to OKC dude on the phone... augh sounds sooo... exhausting. He’s also a musician... which means constant noise and partying. Puppet dude is running a 5K down by me so I will meet up with him tomorrow instead.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/09/2018:
Nice job to get to prioritizing and schedule home chores and cleaning instead of the gym...i agree, it's hard to do both!

your food celebration choices do sound a lot healthier, nice job! and you can still enjoy a burger and fries! very good!!

good job on being frugal! for about a couple months now, i'm soooo the opposite. i've been buying the fitness home equipment and never recovered fully from buying flights, so i recovered the charges by using some of my savings...lol...

i always get more pain in the morning...it's good to move and stretch on your own. hopefully instead of OT appointments in the future, you can use the exercises you learn at home :) it'll save you the traveling time between home and the OT office!

happy-1 - Wednesday Sep 05, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Restarted my Rise subscription yesterday... had on plan eating all day. Went to bed early. Got up early. Still on plan and it's 3:50pm... AND I made a meal plan / grocery list for the week WITH MY MOM'S INPUT that got a stamp of approval from the nutritionist with the suggestion that I throw in some cauliflower rice to bulk up the meals.

I also put pen to paper for the meal planning app idea I had. I have been struggling with how to get people to pay for it... and I think I am gaining on that. Now I am taking a brain break. I will go on to tackle my to do list... that is perfectly organized with my post it system. Then I will go to yoga... because my clothes are ready and my mat is washed.

One small neck joint stood between me and productivity. Now I just need to strengthen my neck so it doesn't slip back.

Oh, and some micro-gifts for my mom... CBD oil and a pair of bluetooth headphones. I've had peace since yesterday. She's even been pleasant. It's astonishing.

Hammering out the kinks one day at a time.


Ran my app idea past puppet dude. He thinks it is amazing and people would fork out cash for it as a no-brainer. At least that's good first positive reaction.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 09/05/2018:
i've heard great things even from a coworker about CBD oil.

glad you aren't having pain...and yes, cauliflower is such a savior!

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
Yeah, pot was never really my thing and the thing about pain is it tells you when NOT to keep moving so I am not going for anything stronger than arnica and advil... but super glad the laws are changing for people who do have terrible pain.

BearCountryGG on 09/06/2018:
Glad your neck is feeling better

happy-1 on 09/07/2018:
Ty!!!! Big hugs

happy-1 - Tuesday Sep 04, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

224,6... Weight moving in the right direction again.

Went to dog sitting and had a good weekend... but also fell off the horse for a few days. Back to it today. Went to bed early last night, let myself catch up on sleep and got 8h. Had oatmeal for breakfast and traded in my half n half and chocolate syrup in my coffee for some chocolate protein powder and instant coffee in a shaker. About to take my supplements. One foot in front of the other.

The shake is actually pretty good over ice with a little extra stevia. I bought Sprouts Chocolate Whey Protein and it tasted funny at first but it’s growing on me. I also got the Orgain vanilla plant protein with superfoods in Vanilla for my oatmeal... just a spoonful to add creaminess and vanilla to my overnight oats. I made it up in my shaker last night at the same time I set up my overnight oats and supplements for the AM. I also just realized that I can start adding the tablespoon of coconut oil back into my oatmeal for the MCTs and fat burning. I like that now I can easily set up breakfast packets that don’t need to be refrigerated like the half n half or coconut creamer did... Trader Joes has single-serving coconut oil packets. Whole thing is very grab and go, travel friendly. Working very hard to set up repeatable habits.

Pact with puppet dude started last night at midnight. No fast food for a week ending Monday at midnight. First one to cave has to do a truth or a dare. I’m not “feeling it” but it’s just so nice to have a positive energy in my life, I’m hoping it just takes time. I had a bad night last night because I had my mom take a photo of me with my dog and I didn’t like how I looked. Granted I was exhausted and had my wet hair in a bun, no makeup, was wearing an old house dress 2 sizes too big, and the lighting was terrible but I just felt so sad when I saw it. I was so down I didn’t get anything done last night although I knew I would be too worn out to do much anyway and had just planned to go to bed early. I was also down because my dad wanted to go out for dinner, my mom said ok, then she sabotaged it. I felt like not getting him out for dinner was a personal failure... so it was nice to have that positive energy to get a little lift and go to bed early. Stay on track.

And I made a small incremental step towards getting control by using my epsom salt bath water to try to kill weeds in front of the house. I don’t know if it was concentrated enough to make a difference... but we shall see... Seemed a shame to not at least try :)

Today... A to do list a mile long... but the success of my weekend is that I have an organized to-do list.

And how could I forget to mention a minor miracle? I was relaxing while dog sitting and I felt the spine/skull connection point “unkink” on the left side... zero pain or numbness since. Well, except while driving. That’s agony. But just walking, working, or sitting? Just fine.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 09/04/2018:
that's a cool morning shake, great idea.

happy-1 on 09/04/2018:
It was actually pretty good!

BearCountryGG on 09/04/2018:
Keep on keeping on!

happy-1 on 09/04/2018:
Thank you! Like the old philosopher says... Never give up that ship!

Donkey on 09/05/2018:
I've utilized protein shakes on and off throughout this process. A very handy tool, if you can find one that tastes good to you :)

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
I'm working my way around them. This chocolate one isn't bad. A little bland but not bad.

happy-1 - Tuesday Aug 28, 2018
(Change all through C, track time, pain, and food)
Weight: 221.4

Scale says 225.6... So why do I feel skinny? Time to take some measurements. I will have to buy a new measuring tape... last one tore.

Had an “old me” level of productivity yesterday... not on the level of the old me who went to college on her own dime, worked her way through school, and started businesses... but the “old me” who just told anxiety and panic to shut the **** up and handled it. I guess I am still in here after all and the OT is giving me the right track. Makes that $350 neck specialist she wants me to see sound a lot less expensive.

I forget how many days I was at yesterday without neck pain (although I wouldn’t say pain free, just bearable and not overly distracting. I have had to lay down each day at about 3pm to rest my neck)... But it kicked back in yesterday because I sat and did paperwork while at lunch and had my head tilted down..Thought I was going to lose my mind. Luckily I had already planned to go to restorative yoga with this instructor I really like off Classpass and had my yoga stuff ready to go... because I had that as a to do item in my new habit tracker for the night before. It was an amazing class, just like last time... and I really, really like her style. She gave me lots of corrections this time and I just felt amazing after. I teased her a little and asked her when she’s releasing her DVD. Anyway, the class was so fantastic, I am now on a mission to buy yoga blocks, the looped therapy strap, and a bolster like she uses in her class. Next time I will have to remember to ask her if there are any DVDs she likes so I can do it at home in betwen.


Calm, sleeping dog at my feet who very much appreciated her chicken thighs last night. There is a good sale on and I bought boneless skinless chicken thighs for doggie dinners to make up for her... pushed myself to go after yoga and didn’t get to bed till midnight, but it’s all worth it for my dog.

Still had a better night than puppet dude, whose cpap machine broke and he was too scared to go to sleep because he chokes in his sleep without it. He talks about all this weight he lost like it’s a massive amount but it’s apparently only 35lbs and not enough to make a difference yet. He found his old one this morning... I feel for him and I also feel like he lives in self-induced chaos at the same time. Claustrophobia, my friend. You’ve come to visit me again.


Ok... gathering myself for today. putting brain in order. I had the brainstorm of using little yellow postit notes to organize all my fluttering thoughts, then selecting the ones I need to work on and arranging them on a page. I then put the page in a plastic “project folder” so they didn’t fall off and took it around with me to do things. So easy. How did I never think of that before?

Evening update. I did not have the physical endurance to do the meal prep I attempted to do today. I started cooking about 10am and thought I would be done by 12pm. Actually took me till 6pm. I kept having to lay down and rest my neck, or it got too hot, or I got overwhelmed by clutter. I did finish the pantry reorg and pulled out all the stuff I need to use up and made sure lids were tight.

I don’t know that 8h of work (with too many breaks) was worth this amount of food:

- 3 breakfasts of eggs, turkey bacon and 2 pancake muffins

- 3 snacks of hummus, chicken, carrots and snap peas

- 3 lunch / dinner portions of chicken and sweet potato

- 2 sit down meals for my parents... lunch and dinner, plus a bunch of single serving dishes of my dad’s favorite mac n cheese

By the time 6pm rolled around I was just dying. I woke up fine but even with breaks to lay down, tiger balm and tylenol, I feel like i got hit in the neck with a baseball bat.

Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 08/28/2018:
sounds like a bad night for the puppet guy...glad he found his old machine!

and i'm glad you are continuing to feel much better with less pain. no pain makes for a much healthier and happier lifestyle.

happy-1 on 09/05/2018:
Hugs! Yes. I just need to keep improving my diet and working out more.

BearCountryGG on 08/28/2018:
That must be rough fearing sleep without the cpap.

legcramps on 08/29/2018:
I'm sorry to hear that your neck pain is back; hopefully it won't last long and you can get back to pain-free (ish) days again soon. I think your food prep looks awesome; good job!

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