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happy-1 - Tuesday Jun 16, 2020
(Just try to get back on habit and prioritize self)
Weight: 229.8

Oh wow. Saw myself on Zoom video chat last night... and it's bad. I have a date Thursday with the ex-ish and I might need to chicken out. Quarantine has not been kind. I fell off makeup, hair, nails, yoga, healthy eating, and supplements.

It's all just so... shocking.

Glad to be back here.

I'm looking at my little ziploc bag of vitamins and I wonder how I ever managed to suck those down every day like it was just as easy as brushing my teeth. I know they are the fundamentals of getting my neck to feel better and my body to start moving again... But it just seems like such a big task.

Bottoms up.


Smacking myself in the face. First overcast day in weeks and I don't want to waste it. Such a relief... Why do I live in Southern California if I hate heat, sun, and dry weather?

I think I will focus on the things it is incredibly hard to do in full sun... Try the roof bag on my car, tidy up the in-progress garden, and start on replacing the kitchen linoleum. In that order.

Grr... get after it.



Up: 6:40am

Breakfast: instant mocha latte (instant espresso, almond milk, chocolate syrup), coconut cashews

Snack: was going to have grapefruit but I forgot and went out to conquer tasks.

Lunch: Got too hungry and ended up eating 1/2 a frozen pizza and a 1/2 a ginger kombucha.

Snack: Seltzer and chocolate almonds after a stressful encounter with my dad who is obsessed with getting me to put his car on my insurance and won't take no for an answer.

Dinner: DIY cheeseburger with ketchup 


Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 06/16/2020:
I know how you feel. I was doing badly with quarantine and indulging in Doritos, beer and other snacks. Then grief eating and drinking even more alcohol. Back on track now.

happy-1 on 06/16/2020:
Pizza, chocolate, and burgers are all I want to eat. It’s like spinach is too overwhelming.

bearcountrygg on 06/16/2020:
I keep hoping that by creating new healthier habits that they will over ride the destructive ones.....it's a constant battle.....

happy-1 on 06/16/2020:
Right?????? I feel like I am always fighting against a tide of people with super unhealthy habits.

Donkey on 06/16/2020:
^I agree with the 2 ladies above. I'm a pretty plain person and an introvert - and yet I've had problems making the adjustment to the new normal. I really miss going to the library, lol...

happy-1 on 06/16/2020:
Right???? Like I can't get any downtime for my brain to recharge. There's no "alone" time to reboot. If you go see your friends you are risking catching COVID. How on earth are you supposed to make new friends and meet new people right now?

Donkey on 06/16/2020:
I'd like to add that maybe try to make changes in baby steps.

happy-1 on 06/16/2020:
Yeah. Positive changes today were just taking supplements and logging what I ate.

happy-1 - Monday Jun 15, 2020

Weight: 229.8

 Was up at 6 like a human being. Yay me.

Aphids have invaded. I armed myself today with Neem oil spray and the slaughter starts at 1600. Mom’s garden does not have enough natural attractants for me to release and retain ladybugs.

Focus today is on protecting the plants... then whatever small self care tasks I can knock out.


b: 2 eggs, cheese, veg, 2 waffles, seltzer 

l: 2/3 of a frozen pizza

snack: seltzer, chocolate coconut almonds... procrastin-eating instead of tackling important tasks

snack: seltzer and grapefruit. How did I forget how good grapefruit is?

snack: 2 blueberry waffles, 2 eggs, cheese, unsalted buter

dinner: diy cheeseburger. I will make dad one tomorrow

Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/15/2020:
Bug season...we are fighting tent worms now...they are all over the house and everything.....Good luck with the aphids........lady bugs.......cute but taste disgusting!!!!!! We had sloppy joes for dinner one day.....as I was cleaning up the kitchen...i noticed a piece of sloppy joe meat on my top...popped it in my mouth...IT WAS NOT SLOPPY JOE MEAT...IT WAS A LADY BUG.....and it was disgusting!

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:
LOL... I will definitely not go licking them.

Supposedly they secrete a foul oil when they get scared so if you eat one, you will swear off any of their relatives.

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:
And UGH caterpillars that turn into moths that breed in your pantry goods... yuck.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/15/2020:
Good morning Human!

I don’t like bugs either !!!

happy-1 on 06/16/2020:
Good morning sunshine!

Go forth and conquer.

grannyannie on 06/16/2020:
We get up at 6 every morning. Don't have to, but we do. Try a soapy water spray for the aphids. Our problem in our garden is slugs.

happy-1 on 06/16/2020:
It makes life so much better. I'm trying for 4 in the morning so I get moving at 6. It takes me a long time to get my brain together.

Donkey on 06/16/2020:
Aphids - ewwww!

happy-1 - Sunday Jun 14, 2020

Weight: 229.8

Hello  all. Trying to get started again. I fell off diet and fitness when Noom sent out a survey about whether or not I was happy with my goals coach. I wasn't unhappy but the survey was weirdly a deterrent from using the service and I just stopped trying on every level. Since then, I have been trying to get back on schedule and on task, despite stress and disruption of quarantine and the vicious catch-22 of not taking care of my body and then in turn not being able to take care of my body because I am to run down from not taking care of my body.

So here I am again. Still up 13 lbs from where I was when I started taking care of my mom through chemo.

My major accomplishments right now are getting rid of all but 1 of the lease violations and starting the garden for my mom I tried to do a couple of years ago but didn't get anywhere with. I am growing a bunch of stuff out there now, and I hope she can see it from wherever she is.

Goals for restart:

  1. Make changes to the house so I can take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and business-ly
  2. Get out of the house for 2h every day
  3. Start eating 2 cups of greens at every meal again
  4. Prioritize taking care of myself over taking care of my dad


B: Almond milk with instant espresso, 2 bluebery protein waffles, unsalted butter (easy breakfast after oversleeping)

L: One of the low sodium meals my dad can't chew, bbq sauce, kombucha (easy lunch after cleaning up after the cat, dog, and dad)

Snack: Coconut chocolate almonds (320 cal), seltzer, peanuts, yogurt raisins 390 (snacks while packing vitamins), seltzer

D: 3 servings mac n cheese... made for dad, was trying not to eat it but then caved when he asked if we could eat together 

Progress as of today: 87.2 lbs lost so far, only 69.8 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/14/2020:
So good to hear from you!!!! I've been wondering how you've been doing with the shelter-down restrictions.

I'm quite impressed that you are gardening. This year, I just didn't get into planting like I have in the past. Very good you!!!!

happy-1 on 06/14/2020:
Hugs! Everyone gets back on track eventually. We are lucky. Riots and looting didn't really get a foothold to spread all the way into surrounding neighborhoods. LA is a little weird... there are high-end areas sandwiched by lower income areas within a few blocks.

bearcountrygg on 06/14/2020:
HI HAPPY....I've misse you!! I was hoping that you would come back! Glad to hear about your garden....!!

happy-1 on 06/14/2020:
Hugs I missed you guys too. So far this works better than anything else

grannyannie on 06/15/2020:
Good to see you back. I fell off my diet as well. Have a friend who used Noom and lost with it but I'm not tempted to try it.

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:
Hugs. I think it works if you are also a fan of big groups. It’s not for cranky iconoclasts.

bearcountrygg on 06/15/2020:
I did try noom...and didn't like it....all of the acronyms were frustrating......and then they would flip back and fourth between that and some made up sill name for them......and with that changing daily...it was too much....I would have needed a catalogue or a dictionary or a program written out to follow along......My coach was almost nonexistant, my group fell off fast and they lumped the last couple of us with another group that was a head of us...so that didn't work either...by the time it ended.......there was 2 of us...and I was relieved to have it done...and couldn't wait to delete the program from my phone...and that was another thing...phone only...if I had been able to use the computer I think it would have been better.....got rid of that app sooo fast.

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:
Yeah I don’t use my phone that much right now

Horn_of_plenty on 06/15/2020:
hey happy! so glad to hear from you too!

looks like even though you feel run down that you are in a similar spot to when you left and that you have kept many pounds off! welcome back. i'm here for you!

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:

innerpeace on 06/15/2020:
So glad to see you back.

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:

happy-1 on 06/15/2020:

happy-1 - Saturday Feb 08, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Counting down to Valentine's Day, really missing my mom. We always did something for each other. One year she got me a special cookie. Dealing with it by sending flowers to her 2 best friends and my aunt. I got my ex-ish a custom card... I used one of those photo card services and added a meme that is our inside joke... and a lot of bad puns. I'll pick up a small surprise this week and see what pile-ons I can follow up with. 

Got to yoga this morning. All the pretty skinny girls... and me flopping around. I'll just keep at it until I look good too. Ate mostly on track today. There is hope. After yoga, I went to the farmers market. Next time I think I will just stay at the park. 

Bought myself a pass to the botanical gardens on groupon. Making the ex-ish come with me tomorrow.

Working hard to be happy. I just want my mom.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 02/09/2020:
Yoga is for everyone, glad you go despite feeling possibly awkward around the others. you do you. enjoy the gardens. yesterday i did a walk at the park, first time in a long time...cannot wait till it's brighter for more hours of the day, i will surely do more walking!

happy-1 - Friday Feb 07, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

On week 8 of Noom
Sorry on being a little absent here. I'm catching up on everyone's entries and comments and generally getting back on track. Me falling off here coincides with the date I started the boundary assignment. In fact I've fallen off everything and only managed to do that. It's like wrestling an alligator in quicksand.

Have managed a few achievements and handled an ER trip for my dad.

In spite of all that, Noom is actually helping me stay on track and remember why I need to do daily habits to be healthy and take care of myself. This week I'm sleeping 7+ hours the past week and a half, and starting to feel a little less zombie.

Onwards and upwards. One foot in front of the other.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 02/08/2020:
Very insightful...

happy-1 on 02/08/2020:
Hugs. I just took all that out.

Horn_of_plenty on 02/09/2020:
Sleep helps tons. I think back to the days i didn't sleep much and don't know how i did it!

happy-1 - Thursday Feb 06, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Making progress, but not logging here enough... 

Starting to see a lift in my habits according to my habit tracker app. Possibly from Noom. 

This week I logged my calories and tracked whether my meals were on plan. I also dumped all simple carbs from my diet. Except the entire frozen pizza, ice cream sandwich and chocolate bar I ate last night.

Next week my goal is to just start moving every day. Yoga, cardio, dog walk, whatever.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/07/2020:
Nice job making MOST of the week count! :) that's good, Happy.

Wishing you a great day today, continued progress!

happy-1 on 02/08/2020:
Thanks! You are a great inspiration!

legcramps on 02/07/2020:
Nice goal for next week. You've got this!

happy-1 on 02/08/2020:
TY. I moved today. Yoga. One day at a time.

happy-1 - Sunday Feb 02, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Hugs to all. Fell off logging this week, but in that time I accomplished a lot, took a whole 2 night / 1 day break to myself, and even got out to watch the Superbowl.

Will catch up this week and read and comment, but in the meantime here is the best line I ever heard:

Me (fat middle aged cat/dog lady at Mexican restaraunt where Superbowl is being held, looking at menu): "What can I order that's low carb?"

Cashier (super buff latino dude): "We're Mexican. We don't do low carb. Low carb is for white people."

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Duaa123. on 02/03/2020:
haha this cashier is funny , it tried Mexican food it is too tasty.. come here to my country saudi arabia , badly we eat rice and bread as main dish every day and every meal , last 4 months I back from indonsesia and I losed 4 pound , although I was eat what I want but bc they eat vegg amore compare to carb

bearcountrygg on 02/03/2020:
That is funny....but when you think of it...it makes sense.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/03/2020:
LOL, that's sooooo funny indeed :) LOL LOL

legcramps on 02/03/2020:
Ha, makes sense ;)

Maria7 on 02/03/2020:
That was so cute!

happy-1 - Thursday Jan 30, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Disorganized eating last night... did ok all day until after the grief support group and washing the cat. I just got really tired and stressed and didn't have healthy meals prepped. Ate some of the chicken thighs I made up for the pets, then ended up eating a bunch of my dad's granola bars. 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/30/2020:
Lately my volume eating is messing with me and giving me gas :(

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/30/2020:

Donkey on 01/31/2020:
Can't tell you how many times I've been there, holding on until the end of the day.... then SPLAT!

happy-1 on 02/08/2020:
Right? I need to clean the house before the home bath nurse comes tomorrow and all I want to do is go to bed... And that's a big improvement because at least now I am sleeping again.

happy-1 - Thursday Jan 30, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Having an F it night... Where you did your best and it is just time to go to bed even though everything you wanted and needed to get done didn't happen.

Also, it turns out that licorice root tea is a stimulant that makes you eat more. I have been sucking it down at night by the gallon.


One good thing... I washed the cat (something I dreaded) and discovered that he is very much on board with grooming. He practically raised his paws so I could get his armpits. I swear he is actually saying "Finally! A real shower! It took you long enough. Now I can really settle in." 

He's extra determined tonight to sleep with me.

Who the hell had this cat? 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 01/30/2020:
Yep, have had many F it days but yours sounds like it ended on a positive note.

I've had to give Sick Kitty baths when she soils herself. (Because she's learning to walk all under again, we'll have to do some litter box retraining as well.) Let's just say she's not nearly as receptive as your cat, lol. She's a good sport about it, but doesn't like baths.

happy-1 on 01/30/2020:
Aaaaaaaaaw, especially when she's sick.

It was a pretty invasive scrub too. He wanders out to the porch to sniff the breezes and then comes right back in, but last night dad was too cold to have the door open and I was stressed from the grief support group... so I closed the door and forgot about him so he went and hid in a car wheel well... My black and white kitty looked like a walking garage rag, complete with motor oil. Dawn dish detergent was the solution. He was completely chill and undisturbed by the whole thing. No bad kitty behavior after either... So apparently I can do whatever I want to him as long as I don't change anything in the house.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/30/2020:
I had NO IDEA that licorice tea is a stimulant i had thought it's caffeine free?

happy-1 on 02/02/2020:
It's caffeine free but the sweetner is a stimulant that is more potent than caffeine and raises blood pressure as well.

happy-1 - Monday Jan 27, 2020
(60D on Noom and making every day count)
Weight: 216.3

Day 41 on Noom

Day 9 of Dad Boundary Enforcement

Dad Tantrum Count this AM: 32 

My Tantrum Count: 2

Succesful Dad Sessions: 4/6

Not enough sleep but I am up, dressed, have had breakfast and coffee, and am tackling the scheduled business session for today, dad tantrums and all.

I may have created a monster... He is on point and on task today. He was up about 8:30 and ready and waiting for me with a to do list for our 10AM session. I was a little surprised and had to hide in my bedroom... Where I had my coffee maker, freshly restocked fridge of healthy snacks, and a bathroom to get dressed and do my hair in... because I did my bedtime checklist and had taken a shower last night and dried my hair.

It's a shocker when a plan comes together.

12pm... Time did not get used 100% effectively but that's OK... That's why there's another session this week.

Hoping to come up with boundaries around grocery shopping and food tomorrow, introduce them on Thursday, and get those started on Sunday.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 01/27/2020:
Sounds positive.

happy-1 on 01/30/2020:
I think so... I am hoping his quality of life goes up.

Donkey on 01/28/2020:
Perhaps you and dad can help each other stay time organized. He'll stay in schedule when you may not be motivated to, and vice versa.

Like Bear, I see this as a positive day too! (Lot better than my day, that's for sure...)

legcramps on 01/28/2020:
Sounds like a great day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/28/2020:
it's always wonderful when we make plans and KEEP them! for me, it was about doing pushups this AM = success :)

2 is TOOOOO many tantrums! 2 too many! two too many!

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