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happy-1 - Thursday May 19, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Breakfast sausage sandwich, peanut butter cups

S1 - Second breakfast sausage sandwich, coffee, half and half, yogurt tube

L - 2 hot dogs, beans, sauerkraut, diet soda

S2 - Skipped

D - 2 hot dogs, beans, sauerkraut, diet soda, orange

S3 -

I woke up this morning and just wished I could stay in bed... On my way to my car, I stepped off the curb wrong and rolled my right ankle with a big crunch. So I guess I get my wish. I've got a heating pad for my shoulder and ice on my ankle. I do wish I had stocked the fridge here this week. Aaargh. I really need a workspace in the trailer. Should I limp out to my car for coffee from my camping box? Hmmm... 


Made a meal plan and a shopping list today based on my past diary entries. I will save the receipts so I can do a budget from it. A lot of prepared foods, but that's kind of what I need to do right now.


Just heard that one of the contractors at my work who was yanked (and got stiffed on his last paycheck) got one of the jobs I referred him for. I am so glad! He is sole breadwinner and his wife hasn't been feeling well. But being able to do something for somebody who is awesome is the best feeling in the world.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
YES get the coffee~!!!!!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
You were so right. Plus, I discovered I still have organic polish hot dogs, beans and sauerkrut. AND ICE IN THE COOLER. I can't believe the 5 day ice chest really is 5 days for $40.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
glad it was all still fresh! awesome for a day at home, especially the coffee & sauerkraut!!!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
Ok, you inspired me. I put together a starter meal plan based on my normal, non-camping weekend schedule:


I also built a shopping list:


Aaaaand I splurged a little on some Oatmega bars and sampler of your favorite mighty muffins.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/20/2016:
i will take a look at all your links later...also, be careful with the mighty muffins, they are excellent, but they might make you POOP! just be home & have them first..i think.

these muffins are really good. I wouldn't have more than 1 at a time :) enjoy.

I've never heard of Oatmega!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/20/2016:
also, mixed the muffins extra with your fork....needs extra mixing...don't leave any dry parts. let me know how you like them!

happy-1 on 05/20/2016:
I will! I bought them on Jet. A little cheaper than Amazon. Always double-check prices on Jet though! Some items are much higher than they are at other retailers.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/20/2016:
never heard of Jet, thank you!

happy-1 - Wednesday May 18, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Mc Donalds. Don't hate. Egg white mc muffin, hash brown, iced coffee

S1 - 2 oranges, 1 piece of chocolate. 

L - Chicken deli wrap with cheese and mayo, cup of noodles, diet soda

S2 - pretzels, 1 piece of chocolate

D - Farmer boys cobb salad

S3 - Chilli cheese fries. Needed carbs to get my brain to work.

Going back and forth with my mom about buying a new bed frame that might help my dad. Such a chore and extra stress. pragmatic adjustable bed. Finally got her to look at it and get my dad to look at it.  They both agree that it is a good solution for him and are now looking at deals between sellers and warranties.  The end to my neck pain is imminent.

Completely ovewhelmed today and tired. Today is the kind of day that makes me wish I was going home to my guy for dinner and a cuddle. Instead I will be at Farmer Boys till midnight after work doing homework.

Noticed that the hiking boots I bought at REI are on sale this week. Hoping I can get a price adjustment. 

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/18/2016:
yum!? then!?

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
Reasonable eating that my friend H would say is excessive, LOL!

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
I am however looking for something along the lines of "Bodybuilding meal prep for the week at Costco 2016"... If it is in plastic trays and ready to be devoured, I can eat on a schedule

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
Kind of like this maybe... lol. http://bodyspartan.com/bodybuilding-diet-on-a-budget/

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
no...i'm not gonna judge like that!!!!! ;)

I like what you are looking into and i'm going to take a look later on today...i like how it mentions "diet on a budget." Lately, if i do want to save money, i mix a lean cuisine or "Smart Ones" (when they are on sale) with cooked cabbage shredded type they sell in bags (when they are on sale, they can be around $1.25 per bag)...for a filling meal.

anyways, i don't always look for sales...so, i spend FAR TOO MUCH!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
I will have to try that!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
when you talk about wishing & guy stuff, i can relate to all of it because i have a similar situation where what i want and what i get is two different things still...i want him so badly!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
I know that one. It's gotten better since I started thinking of him as my "oxytocin dealer" instead of my guy. The biological attachments associated with the bonding hormone oxytocin are right up there with heroin. Apparently you can generate as much or more dopamine from the oxytocin you create as you would from a shot of heroin... So the dopamine fall off is what gets you to want to keep going back for another hit, despite destabilizing effects in your life.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
Good points, Happy...it's def why i do it too...has to be one of the main reasons i reach out in general...and do things my way....when i need the boost...yeah, good point!

happy-1 - Tuesday May 17, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Bean and cheese burrito, Costco

S1 - En route to work from parents... CVS - Iced coffee dink. Bel Taco - Diet coke and cheese quesedilla. 

L - Ate late to get work out. Made a deli wrap out of the camping leftovers in the new cooler in my car. So worth the $40. Also had a vitamin water, some baked chips and part of a brownie.

S2 - 2 fun size choclates and 2 leftover peanut butter crackers. Plantain chips

D - Farmer Boys for homework. Cheesburger, fries, diet coke

S3 - Midnight pastrami sandwich. Emotional eating.

So much stress today. Got to see what the commute would be like if I gave up the trailer and lived with parents full time... Hell on earth. Too much traffic. Had to pull over twice. Was also crazy hungry so I stopped for second breakfast.  I hadn't made dog food on Sunday so I had to stop homework early last night, drive home an hour, set up the slow cooker, go to bed right away, get up at 2, turn off the slow cooker, get up at 6, setup meal portions of dog food, walk the dog, drive 2.5 hours to work.

Aaack. H is right. I need to give up something. I have:

  • Work stress - Is the company going under?
  • School stress - I'm so behind, I can't ever catch up. This is my last non-medical extension and it ends 6/5
  • Health stress - I need to eat a certaine way and take meds on a schedule... and I am doing better but can't quite seem to nail it.
  • Exercise stress - I need to exercise more but can't quite make the time.
  • Personal business stress - I have a stack of paperwork a mile high I am not getting to.
  • Guy stress - I miss my ex and all he wants to do is booty call me. Guys on eharmony aren't responding really.
  • Friend stress - H&E are in a snarky cat fight and I am in the middle. Listened to it all last week and this weekend and I just cannot hear it one more time.
  • Environmental stress - 2 hoarder houses, no privacy, no real place to get away from it all.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2016:
with the health - if you plan your meals more, you can plan when to take meds...

i have a similiar work stress, but it's calmed down completely thankfully!

School - take it class by class, you can do it...it may take longer, but, if you keep working at it, you'll get there!

sorry for Guy stress. I deal with not similar, but still frustrating man problems...

i hope you can get your trailer soon...

<3 iced coffee and coffee drinks!

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
LOL. Glad to know I am not alone!

What's your work stress? Do you work for a startup too?

With meal-planning it is tough due to lack of fridge space, but the new cooler may help. I need to sit down and make a spreadsheet of meals based on my habits and calc what my weekly food shopping list should be. It takes a lot of organization that I just don't have.

I know what keeps me going back to my ex.. He's *cough* talented and good on paper even if he isn't good to me... What keeps you going back to yours?

I rent the trailer from my friend. Like a really crappy guest house. I want but do not need a camper van.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2016:
with the health - if you plan your meals more, you can plan when to take meds...

i have a similiar work stress, but it's calmed down completely thankfully!

School - take it class by class, you can do it...it may take longer, but, if you keep working at it, you'll get there!

sorry for Guy stress. I deal with not similar, but still frustrating man problems...

i hope you can get your trailer soon...

<3 iced coffee and coffee drinks!

happy-1 - Monday May 16, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - 3 eggs, oil, margerine, 2 sices toast, coffee, creamer

S1 - Skipped

L - Restaraunt. Too hungry. Yellow curry

S2 - 2 oranges

Dinner - Starbucks at web study, breakfast sandwich, chai latte.

S3 -  Farmer boys, 4 zucchini pieces with ranch

Massive anxiety about work situation. They paid us friday. They have the money to pay us next pay period. We have such good stats, I can't imagine them not pushing.

Camping this weekend was fun. Can't even begin to think about those missing days and what I ate. H my camping buddy says I eat too much and that I am not being realistic about my calories in vs out. All I can think about is whether my company will go under. And a camper van.  I obsessively think about a camper van. There's one on Craigslist for $9k that looks awesome, but I am not there yet. Need to not feel anxious about job situation before I do something like that.

Need a place to study. I need to catch up on my homework.

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/17/2016:
You are in school also? I always get confused between members here at times...so you live at home with your parents right? and work and go to school? Sounds cheap for $9k!

I am also waiting on the money thing. once I get a raise, if I do, i'll be putting that money straight into my retirement savings.

happy-1 on 05/17/2016:
Make sure you are making your max pretax 401k savings before anything else. I love Suze Orman.

Yeah I work 60 hours a week at a startup and take a portfolio class online. It is how I manage my perfectionism. I pick one class a year and try to stuff all my perfectionism into that so I don't drive my coworkers crazy... but this UX class is for some reason in a big fat mental block I only busted this week. I get these weird mental blocks around certain things and can't think my way through them.

$9k is cheap if you have your 6 months of emergency savings already in place. I have had a lot of work ups and downs the past few years and periods of unemployment. I really like my current job though and I feel like I add value to the team. I hope the company doesn't go under.

puddles on 05/17/2016:
Busy schedule - camping/cottage is the best thing to de-stress.

happy-1 on 05/17/2016:
Right? Super tempted to go alone this weekend.

OhioRaven on 05/17/2016:
Sounds like a good time to start your own business. Find something you like, start small, and improve your situation.

happy-1 on 05/17/2016:
LOL. I am in this mess because I started my own business and it went horribly wrong.

happy-1 - Thursday May 12, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Breakfast sandwich, protein shake

S1 - nestle crunch - fun size

L - Costco samples, walnuts I had in my car, costco spring roll tray I planned on having for dinner but got too hungry, diet gingerale.

S2 - fun size snickers

D -

S3 -

Augh... so hard to get going this morning. Hit snooze 100x. Not sure if I will go to the hike tonight. I could maybe pull off a level1. I need to buy food and run home to get gear... Maybe if that is something I can accomplish at lunch... then come back... then go on the hike... then go down to my parents place and load up... then leave at 4am for a starbuck near the campsite and then work till 2 then go to the campsite.


I am on crack if I thought I could get through costco in an hour. Took forever. Need to stay later at work now so no hike.


I restocked my candy jar at work today. Augh. I ate two. Morale boost.

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/12/2016:
It must be the weather or springtime or spring fever. I've been running late as well in the mornings! Gonna have to just get ready faster or get up earlier!

happy-1 on 05/12/2016:
Or get to bed early! Except I can always sleep extra!

Donkey on 05/14/2016:
I find it hard to get up most mornings, but I think mine is more psychological than physiological... but maybe I'm being too hard on myself.

happy-1 - Wednesday May 11, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - breakfast sandwich, coconut water

S1 - starbucks iced coffee with half and half, marble cake slice

L - bww - burger, salad, cider, 1 wing

S2 - peanut butter crakers

D - slice of homemade pizza, 3 fake nudggets, 1 yogo tube

S3 - wendys - lg chili w cheese, baked potato with margerie and sour cream, diet soda

Augh what a day. Stayed late mon and today to write a user guide. Flashing back to my previous life as a tech writer did not suck, but super glad I don't do that for a living any more.

Flip side is that I did not get home mid week to see my dog or pack my car for camping this weekend. Augh.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/12/2016:
wow...tasty day indeed!

camping will be nice when you go..take your mind off stress!

happy-1 - Tuesday May 10, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

Backfilling for yesterday... Was SUPER BUSY writing the stupid user guide. Almost didn't go for the hike on tuesday night, but my coworker dragged me out at the last minute... Super glad I went. The cool gamer girl I met a couple of weeks ago was there and we did a level 2 while my coworker did a level 3. We hiked all the way up to the top of Amir's garden, which is a lush succulent and floral paradise. We only got to stop for a minute. On the way back down we took the long way back and saw lots of glow worms.

Can't remember what I ate yesterday. I think everything was ok and I didn't buy anything at a restaraunt... but couldn't swear to it. I do remember driving around after the hike looking for fast food but ultimately fishing a defrosted breakfast sandwich out of my lunch bag post-hike and being hugry enough to eat it... but eeeeeew. Might not buy any more breakfast sandwiches in bulk for a while.

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 05/12/2016:
Hike sounds very nice!

happy-1 - Monday May 09, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Venti coffee with half and half, roasted ham and swiss sandwich, 1 tny piece of bacon

S1 - Skipped

L - Scrounge up lunch out of my desk drawer. Left cooler in the car. Coke zero, can of chili, 3 pieces of cheese, saltines.

S2 - 4 chocolate hersheys treasure chests. 1 box of yogurt raisins. A little stressed and eating emotionally.

D - Something something... Not quite sure.

S3 - Something something... Not quite sure.

Broke down and got Starbucks on the way to work this morning. I was so foggy this morning that I barely pulled together a shower, put away dog food, got my laundry into the dryer, packed my cooler, packed my work bag... I couldn't pull together breakfast. Left my suitcase and emergency supplies at home. Guess I am wearing the same outfit to work every day this week and praying there are no earthquakes.  I completely spaced.  I had pulled everything out so that I could wash and vacum my car... and forgot to put it all back in. Augh.


Mom must not have found her card and gift yet. Haven't gotten yelled at on skype yet for spending too much money.


Just found out that my team mate had a huge birthday party this weekend and invited everyone in the company but me. What a dick.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/09/2016:
hey, it's ok! we all get this way at times! i've been this way a month lol (as far as mornings are concerned!)

happy-1 - Sunday May 08, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - 2 eggs, olive oil, margerine, 2 pieces of toast.

S1 - coffee, creamer, choc chip cookies

L- greek chicken meal trader joes

S2 - Slice of homemade pizza, two diet root beers

D - orange

S3- cinnamon apple bake with cottage cheese

Fell off the posting wagon for a couple of days, but ai am inching down across my plateau. 6oz lost this week.


Long, hard day today... For mother's day I cleaned the kitchen and meant to do the bathroom plumbing, but I couldn't really get much done.  I'm just so sad.  My mom said something really rude about my relationship with my ex last night, so we're in conflict. She's hungry and cranky from the weightloss plan and saying really, really mean things.  Apparently me telling her she was being mean triggered her to binge on the fudge weightloss meal bars and was going to give up her diet, but they didn't drive up her blood sugar or make her gain weight... so she figures the diet must be working so she's still on it. I wanted to take her to see Jungle Book, but I was just so sad today... I never pulled it together.

My friend M also had a lot of nasty things to say about my ex today. I just felt terrible, like I'm this horrible fool for constantly hoping that he will feel better now that he's been back from Afghanistan for a couple of months and now that he is feeling better he will want a relationship and start treating me better. I don't know why she had to jump down my throat about it. 

I know he's not treating me like it's a relationship, and it's a terrible thank you for waiting for him for a year while he was in Afghanistan (he wrote me 2x a day every day). It's just that he's amazing (even if he wasn't amazing to me) and these guys of eHarmony all suck. It makes me miss him terribly. i thought a movie would be harmless enough... have some fun and a couple of laughs... But to just get "I'm too tired for a movie come over for some beer and conversation" aka a booty call... It just makes me feel like such a failure and an idiot and that I am going to be alone forever.

Also in conflict with my dad. My parents were napping and I was hungry so I went to go make up food from my last camping trip... pizza... it isn't on my parent's medical weightloss plan so I wasn't going to share it... just make it up really fast while they were sleeping and take it for lunch this week before it goes bad. My dad woke up from his nap and got all interested in it (he's super food-oriented. it is all he lives for) and wanted to know what it was. I knew if I told him it was pizza he'd want some and it would trigger him to fall off his diet, so I was like it doesn't matter what it is, it isn't on your diet. It turned into a big blowup and he ordered me to leave the house. I didn't of course... he was just woofing. It was ugly though . I redeemed myself a little by making a cinnamon apple bake to share. Turned out well... A bag of apple slices about to go south baked with cinnamon, honey, margerine, coconut powder, and gound almonds in a casserole dish. I topped it with some cottage cheese and got him off my back.

So AAAAAAUGH! Next to the universe. Can't wait for my Tuesday night hike. I need a break, a laugh, and a little fun. Next weekend is camping with my friend H. She's a senior citizen, so it won't be super active and I can't take my dog but it will be nice to be outside.  I can also try to redo mother's day. take her to the Jungle Book this week after work... And I did get her a beautiful coffee pot from Starbucks... and a card from me and my doggie.

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/09/2016:
Your cinnamon apple bake sounds amazing & I love the idea of adding some cottage cheese to it. Nice way to add in extra protein. Another good add I guess could be greek yogurt (as a change of pace from ice cream on top?) yum. You sound like you know your way around the kitchen! Lol, I think I could give you a place at my apt! I could always use a live-in chef! Just kidding ;) Sorry to hear about all the home conflicts. We get a lot of that whenever I’m spending time with my family too. We love each other yes, but we show it in the weirdest way. We constantly bicker and fight and judge and criticize each other. Like, it’s a known fact it will happen whenever my family has a get-together. Cute and nice for mother’s day…I also have some extra mother’s day stuff to do next weekend. Ran out of time this weekend that I’m comfortable with spending even more and not doing anything for me – so I told my dad I’d visit his mom with him this weekend to come. I get to see if she likes her card I got her along with how she reacts to having her music CD being played again (it was broken). She is not with it, but I want to see if she reacts to the music or not! I think she will. Music has been known to be very beneficial for people with Dementia.

happy-1 - Saturday May 07, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

Backfilling missed entries...

Saturday I cleaned out my car (like first time in a year, yuck), then volunteered with the foster kids. Resumes, practice interviews and new outfits from goodwill rejects.

Was supposed to see Captain America with my ex, but at the last minute... he said he was too tired to see a movie and I should just come to his boat and have "some beer and conversation". I declined.  Incredibly sad... All I'm worth to him is that? 

Just sucked my whole soul dry.  I slept 14 hours. 

Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

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