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happy-1 - Sunday Jul 08, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Home again. I think this was my most successful dog sitting in terms of not being up till all hours cleaning, wearing myself out, and eating ok... except for portion size. But I can continue to improve and work on that.

Finished watching Big Ward... sad. I felt like I found a bunch of people saying "me too"... and now they are gone. No season 2 available. Although I don't think I would pick weightloss surgery. People have to lose 8+ kilos to do it... and I don't really get why they pick extreme surgery instead of just continuing to grit it out. But then again I'm strugling to break my new plateau each time I lose a half a pound every couple of months or so. The idea of losing 2lbs a week... so tempting. But it also seems like it would be hard to do a thruhike of the Adirondacks on a stomach the size of a ballpoint pen. The New Zealanders aren't squeamish about showing the gory details either... with 59.3lbs to my goal weight left I don't think it would speed things up enough to balance out the effort and constant maintenance these folks go through. UDG is in a pre-op program though... and this show made it easier for me to start to understand why he is pursuing that. My ex in San Diego had it done about a decade ago. It helps me start to understand better how he got onto that path.

Sending parents out to eat. There's too much cleanup to do here (parents made a huge mess while I was gone) and my neck is killing me from driving my car. I am glad I waited to plant new stuff till after this weekend. All my herbs in my window died from the heat wave.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Saturday Jul 07, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Extra post for today... but I have had a couple of days to myself and have mostly spent it laying down in a cool pleasant quiet room with peaceful happy pups for company. It's about as close to heaven as that gets. I look forward to being healthier and having more exciting weekends away... but for right now I'm just happy about that... and also the inches list frim my ribs, waist and hips because they represent actual movement towards health... they are on the measurements for insulin resistant belly fat... and that is scary stuff. So I am very happy to be headed home tomorrow with these couple of days as a reward for that victory and a day of on-track eating in the bag, and to conquer looking for a job.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/08/2018:
Carrying over from your earlier entry... I truly do dislike these beastly hot days. I was commenting to a co-worker on Friday that if the summer weather could be like this, temperate, 70s to low 80s, I'd be quite happy. She said that it's like this year round in San Diego. Well.... I'm afraid that it's probably not like this any more in San Diego from what I can tell on the national weather maps in the morning, but I do agree that it used to be like that for many areas in California.

(IDK maybe I'm wrong about that. WTH do I know about California?)

I'm glad that you posted again yesterday. What a testament to gratitude of the immediate moment. You are doing well for yourself. I hope to remain/become one of your biggest cheerleaders!

happy-1 on 07/08/2018:
Thank you! I need the cheerleading! It helps me find the right path.

bearcountrygg on 07/08/2018:
You are doing great...….quiet peacefulness promotes internal thinking....it's easier to understand ourselves when we have time to contemplate our lives......we know what we need...we can give that to ourselves...it's a great gift....selfcare...….

Maria7 on 07/08/2018:
Congrats on your progress.

happy-1 - Saturday Jul 07, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Insane heat wave continues. I'm keeping things chill here with the dogs. My dog and I are chilling in the bathroom so the bulldog gets rest and doesn't get over-exerted. He wants something and keeps barking at me but I do not know what he wants. I went out early to get stuff to meal prep breakfast for the week but somehow it just seems too hot to do anything right now. Plus the bulldog gets too worked up over food. I guess that's the benefit of cooking for your dog over kibble/canned. Your dog doesn't really care what you are eating... it is the same thing they have. Meals in peace.

This is the most on track I have been food-wise while dog sitting. I have eaten larger portions than I should have but not to the point of being overboard. I'm watching "the big ward" and "from fat to finish line" on netflix and I recognize a lot of the same food issues I am having with my parents.


Mystery solved. Huge rainstorm hit and broke the heatwave. He'd been barking and pawing at his ears so I gave him an ear cleaning and a bath... but it was the barometric pressure. Once the storm hit he raced around the house batking his head off. My dog is crazy like me so we enjoyed the rain on the patio.


Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/07/2018:
Good job staying on track!!!!!

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
maybe i can find those videos from netflix on YouTube?

Proud of you for managing your eating while away and dog sitting much better this time around!

those were good ratings from the nutritionist - very good job Happy!

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
Maybe! Everything is on youtube, lol.

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
It's weird... they have a lady on episode six who is 132 kilos and that's 291 lbs... but she just doesn't look that heavy to me. I guess my perspective is distorted.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
yes, frozen meals are so small.

happy-1 - Friday Jul 06, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Up at dog sitting. It's over 100 up here and I don't do heat well so I am lying on the floor with my dog on my yoga mat watching netflix. The puppy never settles for more than a minute so my dog decided to head for the bathroom. She suddenly looks really old and her eye is tearing again. The bulldog can't go for walks because he has huge interdigital cysts that his mom says are a breed thing but I swear it looks like a fungal infection and the one time my dog started something similar it was daily vinegar soaks and washing the patio with simple green twice a week that got rid of it. I'm no vet though.

Super glad to have some quiet and down time. Just some alone time to introvert and destress, get eating back on track and decompress. There's been so much constant fighting at home over food changes... they don't have their drugs basically. My mom is trying to avoid insulin so my dad isn't getting as many opportunities for fast food so he's miserable even though I cook two meals a day.

Breathe, release, rejuvinate.

One foot in front of the other.

Ratings from nutritionist are educational and surprising. Like the breakfast I had because I cooked for my dad but burned his so I ate that one and then made anorher... eggs with cheese, white toast and margerine got a green because the fat proteins and carbs balanced. Skipping a meal got a green because it is ok to listen to my body. Protein cookies got yellows because eventhough they were healthy I was subbing them in for too many meals.

Alright. Keep on keeping on. Didn't pack food for this weekend because my fog got caught in a glue trap while hiding from fireworks and I'd already gone to bed with a sleeping pill. Disaster and trauma. Spent a shocking $76 at Trader Joes. I hope I just overbought and end up tsking stuff home. It is astounding to think of one person eating that much in one weekend. I got a couple of salads, frozen pizza, diet gingerale, a couple of frozen asian meals, apples, and oatmeal ingredients. My budget is more like that for 3 people and a dog for a week.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/06/2018:
Dogs and fireworks...I'm sad for them when they get so scared......hope she's over it now.

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
Yeah she perked up last night and is ready to be a pain in the butt because she's restless and it's too hot to go for walks. Looks a little funny though... she got a funny fur cut wherever there was a glue trap because I was running out of oil.

Donkey on 07/07/2018:
I hate fireworks. I mean, they're very pretty, but if I'm not watching them - which I don't because I don't like crowds - then the noise is very annoying, bothersome, distracting - YUCK. My cats go crazy, too, and I really don't like that.

That is very interesting from the nutritionist. I hope you are finding the evaluations to be helpful.

I'm sorry that home life is kind of chaotic right now. And very glad to hear that you have a place to retreat and regroup with dog-sitting. If it helps, my family is crazy about food too. Not in the same way, but it is insane.

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
Oh good heavens... so glad I don't have cats right now. I put out all the traps I had left hoping to catch anything spooked by fireworks that might still be hanging around. I can't even imagine trying to get them off cats.

I can see why people start lying about what they are eating... it was tempting to not list the frozen pizza I had last night... or the frozen pork dumplings. Or the extra yogurts and crackers. I just get so hungry dog sitting. The bulldog freaks out when I clean and I can't take them for walks so there's no way to move about and not feel hungry.

I like this bulldog... he's a sweetie pie... but I could never have a dog this delicate/heat intolerant. My dog is super weird and a loner but so durable and easy to take anywhere/do anything with.... like me? Lol. My furry soulmate.

graindart on 07/07/2018:
Our temps just jumped up to the high 90's. Sat in the mid 70's for a long time and just now decided it's summer..... Hit 99 yesterday and I spent most of the day inside with the AC. Wish it would just sit 75-80 degrees each day and cool off to around 60 nightly.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/07/2018:
trader joes / frozen meals can be expensive if not on sale!

happy-1 on 07/07/2018:
Yeah and not much in them, and not satisfying at all. Total disappointment. Not doing that again. I have been cooking so much to keep costs down I remembered them being better.

happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 04, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Started off track today, but as the saying goes "If you get ne flat tire, you don't have to pop the other 3". Sometimes Pinterest is a font of wisdom. Stayed up too late last night watching GLOW on Netflix and dealing with fireworks and my dog... Overslept by 5h and got up and made coffee... at the same time as my dad was doing his thing and he knocked it over and it went EVERYWHERE. This upset him and his reaction is to get angry and berate me. I cleaned it up and went to help my friend finish her floor. On the way home I did my planned store run and still bought him his "extras" like diet coke and white bread.

The aggravation is kind of throwing me off though... All my meals are off today... I've had coffee creamer with transfats and sugar, no veggies, and a hotdog in a bun.... instead of broccoli, oatmeal and coconut oil. SIGH. 

In the last 90 days or so I have lost 7.3 lbs and 1% bodyfat... A bunch of inches... and not from my boobs!  

Tonight I will get back on track and eat a bunch of broccoli. I'll take sleep meds super early and be up on time. 

One foot in front of the other.

Happy July 4!

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/05/2018:
Old people are hard to deal with...I live with one...LOL...and so does D. We are cranky, sore and stiff.….and unlike young and middle aged people...we can count our future lives by days...instead of decades.....old age is sobering..……...I took care of my 83 to 89 year old parents...….it was only after they had passed away...that I really came to understand how hard it is to be old....while I was caring for them...they were the older generation...now I am...and my kids are saying and doing things...that tell us they are now feeling like they need to take care of us......and while we are grateful that they show an interest in caring for us...it is also sad and disturbing. I have been in your shoes...and now I'm seeing from the other direction.....bottom line is old age stinks....and caring for us is very difficult.....But please...take care of yourself at the same time...no matter how hard it is......

Donkey on 07/05/2018:
^^^ What Bear says. That must be so difficult. Spilled coffee - awful on many levels. (No sarcasm!)

I hope you have a pleasant day today.

horn_of_plenty on 07/05/2018:
hey it's July 4th..i wouldn't worry in the scheme of things about being slightly off track!

happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 03, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

One foot in front of the other. Have a ton of recruiter emails but they are all indian recruiters. Unlikely job placement or decent rates. 

Spent morning on OT time tracking.  I'm probably spending too much time on it, but I need to budget my time also... so as I am entering what I do all day, I am also revising my plan for the week as I do it... This means a lot of time tweaking a spreadsheet.  Sigh.  But basically I have the day represented as hours starting at 5:30 AM, then I have the plan for each time slot, like a calendar. Then if I did it, I mark it green. If I didn't and I did something else, I mark it red and put in what I did instead. This way at least, I am tracking why I wasn't on task and what I did instead (which I can't do in a calendar).

Who knows if this will make me more productive. So far I figured out that

  • I am not taking my meds on time if I didn't have them next to my bed in the right amounts ahead of time... which throws off how my body reacts...
  • I need interim alarms prompting me to start and end things on schedule.. like making food and clearing dishes, not just sitting down to eat.
  • Trying to do a yoga class at 10am is really awkward and if I am late and miss it, it messes up my whole day because I feel like I failed. I'd do better to do one first thing in the AM then walk my dog... or last thing before bed at night.

Discovered last night that the poor dog that keeps whining is a small white fancy ****zu that our neighbors mom dumped on them. they are tying it up outside with no shade or water.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 07/03/2018:
Do you have one of those Meds containers that you throw your pills in for the week? They have a compartment for the 7 days of the week...a great way to organize pills/vitmains. I use one to make sure i take things everyday. Maybe keep it filled and next to your bed.

It must be scorching hot for the poor doggie!

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2018:
Timers....I think timers are the answer

happy-1 on 07/03/2018:
Yeah, but I forget what they are for. Or to use them. I'll see if the prompts to move to the next activity help. The thing is sense of time passing... I never realize how much time i spend cleaning and the place never gets cleaner, lol.

happy-1 on 07/03/2018:
And also to try to take advantage of natural drift towards diff tasks. And take real breaks.

Donkey on 07/04/2018:
^ Forgetting is my problem. Even the best intentions are no good if one forgets. *sigh*

bearcountrygg on 07/04/2018:
Post it notes, a daily reminder covering all hours and half hours.....My youngest son had a closed head injury from a motorcycle accident.....and he has short term memory loss....he uses all of the tricks....it all helps.

happy-1 on 07/06/2018:
He sounds like he got more than one page out of your book! How resilient! Adhd just means you're not nuerotypical and I'm in a situation that makes everything harder so I am down for all the tricks.

happy-1 - Monday Jul 02, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

224.9... no weight loss for me this week. Glad I have my new baking scale. I can start recording calories by weight as I consume them.

Breakfast this morning was a delicious protein chocolate chip cookie and iced coffee with 2% instead of half n half. Sure tastes like a real one to me!

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
me, you and donkey all have food scales. i haven't really used it as planned bc i guess i am able to eyeball calories a lot...but i think my scale could be useful perhaps to make baked goods products and things i cannot eyeball.

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Yeah, you are in maintenance so I bet you are good at that now... but I am having a hard time getting the scale to budge. Tracking calories is helping but not sure what I am actually eating, lol.

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
food scale should be GREAT for you - yes - to even measure a portion of rice! or oatmeal! OR ANYTHING. very good with the meats too.

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
And cheeses / butters!

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:

bearcountrygg on 07/02/2018:
I use my food scale occasionally.....it does come in handy.

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
I measured my dark chocolate peanuts and then ate 4 servings. So now I know how many grams I had... almost a day of calories. I threw the rest out and feel guilty but it had to be done.

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
I measured my dark chocolate peanuts and then ate 4 servings. So now I know how many grams I had... almost a day of calories. I threw the rest out and feel guilty but it had to be done.

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
I measured my dark chocolate peanuts and then ate 4 servings. So now I know how many grams I had... almost a day of calories. I threw the rest out and feel guilty but it had to be done.

Horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
i find that 2% tastes pretty darn good in coffee...and i use stevia. (or equal if i'm buying it out and they don't have stevia). so good !

bearcountrygg on 07/03/2018:
It is kind of shocking sometimes...to see what we take for granted and find that it is outrageously fattening.

happy-1 - Sunday Jul 01, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

Went to Shakespeare By the Sea last night with a camping friend who lives near me. I had so much fun! I spurged on tasty treats at Trader Joe's and wore a pretty dress and we had lots of fun and laughed so much!

Today I gave myself off completely from tracking or doing anything or going anywhere. I made 3 meals for my parents... breakfast which was egg omlettes with cheese, dinner which was breaded porkchops, and dessert which was chocolate chip cookies... except my dad didn't like them and it caused a big fight and a lot of ill feeling all around. I made them with vanilla protein powder, almond flour, irish butter, coconut oil, eggs, water, cinnamon, baking soda, oats, walnuts, and dark chocolate chips. I thought they were really good... but just didn't understand why he wouldn't accept anything close to something he liked. They weren't sweet enough, he doesn't like oatmeal, and he hated the coconut flavor. So frustrating. My mom got really mad at him though.


I'll go back to looking at picnic baskets on pinterest

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/02/2018:
Sounds like your outing was a lot of fun!! It's too bad your Dad didn't like your dessert....change is hard for so many people......but...he has choices...he can choose not to eat them...the interesting thing will be to see if he decides to eat any more of them...that will tell you a lot.....and could be quite interesting..

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Yeah he took a bite of one and then wrapped it and his other one up in a napkin... hiding his terrible cookie that wouldn't screw with his diabetes...

horn_of_plenty on 07/02/2018:
haha...we have Shakespeare in the Park!

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Do you go? It was fun! I am totally obsessed with putting together a picnic basket, lol. I don't see anything online I like. All the baskets have handle attachments at the top and no support on the bottom. The backpack cooler sets have hard plastic and melamine plates so you can't put them on a grill to keep warm... And they don't have any outside webbing so you can't attach chairs or a table to have it all in 1. I'll have to diy to be happy with it.

happy-1 - Friday Jun 29, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5

One foot in front of the other. Breathe in, breathe out.

  • Overwhelmed because I overslept and got up at 7 instead of 5:30. Because I stayed up late working on the OT worksheet and doing dishes and failing to do homework. 
  • Stressed because I got zero of anything I really needed to do done this week... and using the OT tracking sheet I can see how far off I was and feel "dumb".
  • Sad because I am still down a friend. Responded to her screwy email today in a calmer. less emotional state. Was careful to use "I feel" statements... over her liberal abusive ones.
  • Lonely because I'd like to have a closer relationship with my extended family.
  • Aggravated because I did too much emotional and tired eating yesterday and had trail mix, a dark chocolate bar, and 1/3 of a frozen pizza... not enough broccoli or veg.
  • Frustrated because Rise is having a service issue and I can't use it... and it isn't cheap.

To regroup... 

  • I walked my dog for a shorter walk than planned, but I still went for the walk.
  • I will eat breakfast now, because it is 9:10AM and I want to get back to eating on time.
  • I will still go to yoga, because it will release my stress and I need the physical activity to stay healthy.
  • I will look for a coffee spot near the studio to do homework.
  • I will be on time for class tonight.
  • I will go to bed as soon as I get home tonight and get up as close to on time as I can tomorrow.


Got an email back from my friend who sent the screwy email(s) (including **** yous and vicious statements). Apparently I'm totally right, she wants to be friends, and she added me back to her camping trip... Bat **** crazy... 

At least the tension in my neck released and unpinched a nerve. I didn't even realize I was in pain until my bones slid back into place with a pop after I got her email. The human body is terrifying.

Now doing homework. Better than not at al.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/30/2018:
I'm so glad that your day got better - at least it seems that way. I'm glad that your camping friend came to her senses (sort of?).

I'm glad you're working on homework. Every little bit helps! Keep trying! (It's been a rough week, hasn't it?)

happy-1 on 07/02/2018:
Yeah, but more rough because I am time tracking for the OT and it is depressing because I see how far off plan I am. Incremental progress is key to achieving the changes I need to make. At least that stupid class is over and I just have to close out with the school tomorrow.

bearcountrygg on 06/30/2018:
Boy...it sounds like that gals emails get get of hand very easily…….she must not thinks things through before writing them.....

happy-1 on 06/30/2018:
She's gotta be 80. Goes with the territory.

happy-1 - Thursday Jun 28, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 223.5


Went to hot yoga last night. OMG. How is that fun? Half dead today. 

Got a screwy email from my friend which I am ignoring. Life goes on.

One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. Tracking time for OT shows that I am getting nothing done because I am cleaning up the hoard every day. 

I just keep trying.

Progress as of today: 93.5 lbs lost so far, only 17.5 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/29/2018:
I did bikram hot yoga for around a year. i was working as a teacher and could fit it in my schedule. that no longer is the case. the class was 1.5hours and it took a half hour to prep / bike ride over to it...and another half hour to get home. it was so time consuming...but good if your schedule is more free.

i used to love it - especially in the freezing Winter...it was so cool to go in there and get all warm and toasty.

what about the screwy email?

stay positive...you are doing well...hitting new lows in your weight and all! stay focussed!

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