forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
happy-1 4 hrs
Horn_Of_Plenty 8 hrs
Maria7 12 hrs
Donkey 21 hrs
BearCountryGG 1 days
legcramps 1 days
questforthebest 2 days
InnerPeace 2 days
OArecovery 4 days
grannyannie 11 days
graindart 15 days
trishpiglet3 7/28
BookLover 4/27
greengirl 4/12
thinkpositive 4/09
CICO 4/05
Jayhawkjen 3/30
Cybermom4 2/10
OhioRaven 1/15
pinklatte 12/31
DDwebmaster 12/15
chidogs 10/22
Duaa123. 10/12
smilewithkatie 5/28
Puddles 5/18

Recent Forum Topics
New Goal Format - Thank You - 8:42A 28-Jul

Slim Fast - 7:15A 20-Dec

spam removed - 7:15A 20-Dec

DD Future - 2017 - 12:34P 30-Apr

My First time! - 6:19P 7-Mar

Can't post replies to journal posts - 2:14P 17-Sep

view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Thursday Oct 27, 2016
(Do a menu plan with parents. More protein.)
Weight: 249.3

Fun with 24hourfitness... went to the one by work today. At first it sounded fun... they have beginner fitness classes... you can pay for more challenging classes, and they have yoga. That plus maybe taking my pack onto the stairmaster should be fine to start... Then we went through the membership rates and I was comparing it to the Costco rates... so the manager tried to sell me hard on personal training to lose ALL THAT FAT... Because those beginner classes I will be stuck at my progress level after 3 months... I said well I just want to get moving again... the beginner classes sound fine for that... don't you have the paid upgrade classes for stuff that is more challenging? And they said yeah, but you really need personal training to make progress. I was literally facing off two guys with my back against the wall and got increasingly stressed. I said I have done it before... It is an intense relationship, if anything it makes me not want to go to the gym ... I do not want someone to be monitoring me, measuring me, disappointed if I am not making progress. This sounds like the opposite of fun. I got a bit upset at that point and wanted to leave, but the manager wanted me to take the three day pass with me so I did. Ugh.

At least I found out that I only need the $399 membership from Costco, not the $799

Progress as of today: 58.7 lbs lost so far, only 69.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/28/2016:
PERSONAL TRAINING = MAD $$$$! that's for sure...except this one place i went to a long time ago, called, PTI...Personal Training Institute. It was a small gym where you could only do personal training.

PTI was 30 min, 3x a week, $25 per session so $75 per week. It used to be very affordable when i was around 22-24 and had my first jobs and living at home and i don't even think paying rent. I learned how to lift weights at PTI!

Def don't need personal training for progress. It's all the mindset. and eating less = weight loss.

happy-1 on 10/28/2016:
LOL. Right? And every time I do it when I am on a good trend, it completely derails me.

happy-1 - Wednesday Oct 26, 2016
(Do a menu plan with parents. More protein.)
Weight: 249.3

Woke up at the crack of dawn planning to go check out 24hourfitness... then work from home and go down to see friends in Yorba Linda after work... instead I got to check out my dog puking her guts out, my mom and dad sick as... well my dog. Not feeling too hot now myself. Hope I don't get sick too. Need to get another flu shot this year for sure.

Mom has purchased a crazy amount of food since Thursday... No way can all this get made up and consumed beore it goes bad. She even bought more last night... Too grossed out to deal.


Breakfast - 2 milano cookies. Too grossed out to eat real food.

S1 - Peppermint tea.

L - Chicken teriyaki bowl at Japanese place... Had to get out

S2 - Coffee with half and half and 2 cake pops at Starbucks

D - Polly's pies atrocity for CERT meetup

S3 - 

Progress as of today: 58.7 lbs lost so far, only 69.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/26/2016:
Yorba Linda...i assume the name of a town...btw, i got your message back regarding my comments & i will read tomorrow & comment...getting a bit bogged down at work at the moment but want to leave comments on the new entries for today!

I hope you feel better....i think i will skip the flu shot this year.

sorry about the overload of food!?

happy-1 on 10/26/2016:
Hugs... wanted to go back and reply to your past comments but it looks like they are sealed off now... will catch up on your logs and comment soon.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/27/2016:
I know what you are going thru. It has always been hard for me to end friendships and relationships, even if they weren't healthy for me. It is very hard to let go...especially from people who make us feel whole even when we deserve better.

Mom's menu picks = good stuff! Good idea to make tortillas with leftover deli meats, also! sounds tasty. everything sounds good. I love a veggie burger too!

happy-1 on 10/27/2016:
Yeah. Had a nice talk with him last night to find out where he learned communication and leadership skills. It boiled down to "Hard Knocks University". It felt good to leave it on a positive note.

Yeah, I don't hate her picks. I can swap out breadcrumbs for almond meal and a few other tweaks.

What are your favorite recipes?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/27/2016:
Yorba Linda in CA...wow...looked it up...must be beautiful there. Pricey!!!!!!!

innerpeace on 10/27/2016:
Hope your dog is ok.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 10/27/2016:
Great idea to swap breadcrumbs for almond meal....will tell you some recipes to follow...i'm def NOT much of a cook, but will tell you instead foods / things i love that help me to maintain my weight.

happy-1 - Tuesday Oct 25, 2016
(Do a menu plan with parents. More protein.)
Weight: 249.3

Small successes yesterday. Mom picked a few meals they would find acceptable.

Had to uber to work today. Pep boys has my car.

Missing ex like crazy. How do I miss him like hot sauce and he only vaguely misses me?


Protein shake

Ham sandwich and coffee at starbucks

leftover lunch from last week in work fridge. Still good! beef, potatoes, veg.

2 smores poptarts and leftover coffee


I hate the support site project. I wish I had never proposed it. Ugh.

Progress as of today: 58.7 lbs lost so far, only 69.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/25/2016:
I am sorry you are missing him so much. I know how it feels to always have your memory reminding you of him when it's hard to get him off your mind!

what kind of meals did your mom pick out???

i like leftovers. so convenient they are!

happy-1 on 10/25/2016:
Augh... I just miss everything about him. It's so unfair that I just crave him like a drug but he barely misses me (or doesn't miss me now that I stood him up on Saturday night because I was feeling weird and emotional). My friend Tom says it is PTSD. He just doesn't feel or attach anymore.

Mom's menu picks are:

1. Chicken Breast, Skinlesss-(Boneless if from bag in freezer), Broiled, Grilled, Braised or Steamed (no sauce)— Soft cooked green beans—2/3 cp rice or less—small navel orange 2. Tortellini w/ “meat” sauce— cooked vegetable—fancy salad—fruit/ dairy dessert 3. Salsbury steak w/mushroom gravy (good use leftover burgers)—mashed potatoes—cooked vegetable— salad—fruit/dairy dessert 4. Fajitas, chicken strips (good use leftover deli chicken), lean beef strips, or “Morningstar” substitutes—onions, bell peppers, garlic stir fry (other non starchy veggies ok also)—Yellow corn tortillas—salsa— fruit/dairy dessert 5. Meat loaf—turkey, beef or salmon ok. No tomato sauce, No bacon—cooked veggie—mashed (sweet) potatoes—fruit/dairy dessert 6. Grilled Flank Steak, medium rare—marinade ok—big salad—red potatoes—fruit/dairy dessert 7. PARMESAN BONELESS PORK CHOPS WITH TOASTED ONION POTATO WEDGES always popular

happy-1 - Monday Oct 24, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 249.3

Back down below 250 today... 249.3 Yay!!!  Lowest in months. Maybe I was hanging onto food from stress or something with the wisdom teeth out. Or eating too much soft junk food.  Anyway, that is only 2lbs up from my lowest weight.

God may be rewarding me for cancelling on my ex after I bootycalled him. I might have gotten back down to 247 if I hadn't bootycalled him at all.

I think I see a 24 hour fitness membership in my future so I have something else to do in the middle of the night.


Breafast: 2 softboiled eggs, margerine, 2 pieces of white toast

Lunch: Pasta, fake meat, sauce, cheese, stevia soda

-- Updating for yesterday

Snack: 8 milano cookies, 1 fun size m&ms.  

Dinner: Not really sure. I had some coleslaw with extra cabbage added, a quesedilla with 1 wheat tortilla and cheese, 

Progress as of today: 58.7 lbs lost so far, only 69.3 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Tuesday Oct 04, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 250.2

Ok, so here's an example of when I end up eating out... Working from home. It's 2pm. I missed my snack and lunch and am now starving. Nothing in the fridge sounds good and everything I bought in the last couple of days seems gross. If I went out, I dunno what I'd get. Probably Taco Bell, wendys or mcdonalds. Easily $10-14 because I try to buy the healthiest options.

My options are: scrambled eggs, wheat spaghetti with either marinara or fake alfredo, pbj, grilled cheese, soup from a can, chili from a can, yogurt, yogurt protein brownie, frozen pizza.

I feel like having leftover beef stew if I had any. I avoid making that stuff because 1) Kitchen needs deep cleaning weekly. Parents are messy and don't clean up after themselves. 2) If I make anything really good, my parents can't control themselves and eat multiple servings in a single sitting, 3) they are on medical weight loss programs and lost 150lbs together and I don't want to throw my parents off their diets, 4) there is no space in the fridge or freezer for ingredients or resulting meals, 5) it is a lot of planning, work, effort and expense to only get one meal out of it when I need at least 2 containers of leftovers to manage the time out of my week, 6) It starts bickering and discord... I get blamed for making them eat too much, taking up space in the fridge, and guilt over eating what I spent on... 7) there is an ongoing struggle because I carefully buy foods without trans fats or high sodium and certain things organic. Best case is they finish those off and replace them with stuff that is super cheap but awful. Most likely scenario is they finish it off and don't replace it or add it to my grocery list or let me know they ate it or ask for it when I ask if they need anything so I can buy more.

My therapist says that being with my parents is an unhealthy situation and until I move out I won't gain any ground.

Not eating anything anyway. Because... Ow. And out of time for lunch. Good thing I stocked up on protein shakes.

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 10/05/2016:
I think it's good you are home now with your folks as you are in pain and it's good to have people nearby? But i could be wrong! Also, when you are feeling better, I hope you do get to have some Beef Stew.

I am happy to hear that you are eating the healthy options at those restaurants - I do this too. If you want to save money, you can buy some bagged salad and chicken pre-cooked from the supermarket and put the chicken in the greens! and voila. Should last 2 meals at least...and if you buy maybe a few bagged salads - even longer. :)

happy-1 - Tuesday Oct 04, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 250.2

Didn't get the job with the agency. They said a lot of nice things, but they want someone with agency experience and client facing skills. The client facing part burns. I have no idea where I would start to reinvent myself as someone with client facing skills. I took a bunch of business and communication classes after I left the consulting company... I don't think they took. There's a polish and a gamesmanship to being client-facing I just don't have and it keeps holding me back.

Day 4 after getting wisdom teeth out. I think I am a little less swollen. Sticking to protein shakes today.  Eating just isn't worth it.

Not sure what I ate the last several days. Probably pudding, grilled cheeses, soup.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 10/04/2016:
Liquid diet till the swelling goes down maybe?

happy-1 on 10/04/2016:
Yum. Protein shakes!

hollybelle on 10/04/2016:
Sorry you're still in pain. Day by day - it will get better. Are you sure you are healing normally? No dry sockets, no bone fragments, no infection, etc.? 4 days is still pretty "new". Sorry about the job. There is something better for you out there! Just because you don't have the polish and the experience for client-facing, doesn't mean you can't get it, if you want it. Keep going for what you want! Every interview is gained experience.

happy-1 - Saturday Oct 01, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 250.2

Super ow. Missing an off road expo with friends.

B - skipped S- skipped L- pudding cup, cup of noodles. Dad went out and got me pudding. Yay dad! D - felt better. 1/2 a frozen lasagna

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 10/01/2016:
Feel better!

puddles on 10/01/2016:
Take care.

hollybelle on 10/01/2016:
Hope you feel better soon!

trishpiglet3 on 10/02/2016:
Hope you heal soon. Wisdom tooth extraction can be full-on and eating can be a challenge afterwards. Had mine out when I was 17 - you have all my sympathy x

Horn_of_plenty on 10/04/2016:
Sorry you missed a good time with friends...i have had countless misses in my past. So many i have lost count lol...

Glad you are starting to feel better. Those cup noodles are sinfully good.

happy-1 on 10/04/2016:
Thanks for the poke to get me logging again.

happy-1 - Friday Sep 30, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 250.2

Wisdom teeth out. Ow.

Skipped all meals till dinner.

D- 6 puddings. 2 mac n cheese

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 10/01/2016:
Ouch! All 4 at the same time? Feel better.

hollybelle on 10/01/2016:
Bless your heart. Feel better soon. At least this is behind you now.

puddles on 10/01/2016:
It is done now. Not pleasant I remember when I had mine out. Take care

happy-1 - Thursday Sep 29, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 250.2

Still stuck at 250.2.  Have been eating lighter due to problems with wisdom teeth, so not sure why.  I feel skinnier at least. Today I go for a presurgery consult and then tomorrow hopefully I get them out on Friday. It is going to be expensive. I have never wanted to go to a dentist and looked forward to spending a bunch of money on it so badly in my life. Haven't been writing here because I have been out sick and not feeling well at all. I'm hoping they can do a post for my missing tooth at the same time. Will find out today.

Also, I have to finish moving out of the trailer today. I am probably ok at my curent job till January, but my food bill is so high, I need to change strategies. Looking for an Airbnb for Monday or Tuesday and I need to put my profile together.

Was not in round of layoffs yeserday. There were some surprises. People I thought were really good and I am not sure why I am still there if they aren't.

Haven't heard back on interview yet. The longer it is taking them to respond to me the more I want the job. Looking for other similar companies I can try to network my way to in case it doesn't happen.

Met a guy on Tinder I like a lot. It is a little weird because I see the person he used to be and can be again and it makes me want to develop a company that caters to his unique needs for fitness. At the same time, I feel like he'd be a great house husband... If I can ever get my sh*t together. Z is 6'5, norwegian descent, played college football. He got sidetracked in school when his brother got sick, then followed a series of women around instead of working on his own life. Now he is crashing with his mom and stepdad in their tiny apartment and working at Walgreens. At 34, he's still majorly into the comic book/fandom geek stuff and quoing lines from science fiction... which in general I find obnoxious but maybe can put up with... And if he gets healthy... And finds a job where he can support himself and live independently. He wants kids, but there is something scary about having kids with someone who can't entirely support themselves... I can be a breadwinner in theory and there is always life insurance... But if something ever happened to me, I'd worry they wouldn't make the right choices and make grown adults out of our kids. Or they would end up in foster care. Still he wants a wife and kids... so that is something. We met in person last weekend for a quick lunch and text a lot. I told him I see him as a ****able guy with a good heart, and that I like him but he is a hot mess, and I am a hot mess, so we can't both of us be a hot mess. We want to do a 1 week stretch of the Pacific Crest Trail in March as a 6 month goal to no longer be hot messes. I will work on my list later tonight.

But it makes me miss my ex like crazy. M doesn't want more kids. Can't get around that part. Or the part where he treated me casually years into the relationship... But still I miss him. He fit my mental template of "hero" the way that nobody else does. His birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. All I can think about is calling him to wish him a happy birthday. I probably shouldn't.

Thank you to all the people commenting and getting me back to logging.  Gotta move forward!


B - Skipped

S - 1 packet instant oatmeal

L - Lean cuisine, salad, ranch dressing

S - bagel and cream cheese

D - Chicken Pho, Vietnamese iced coffee

S - Chicken burrito

S - Microwave brownie mix with greek yogurt

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 09/30/2016:
Hang in there - feeling thinner comes first, then the results on scale. Hope your dental work goes well. Glad you still have your job! Don't question why - keep looking for another, but I hope the one you interviewed for comes through.

grannyannie on 09/30/2016:
How clothes fit is really the best judge of how much we've lost, but it's easy to be a slave to the scale - I know.

innerpeace on 09/30/2016:
Hope you feel better after your teeth are pulled. Don't call!

Donkey on 10/01/2016:
Take care of yourself (hugs)

happy-1 - Sunday Sep 25, 2016
(Stick to meal plan and no more midnight snacks)
Weight: 250.2

B - Coffee and cream, cramming homework

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 09/25/2016:
Taking care of business!

happy-1 on 09/29/2016:

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/26/2016:
oh yeah...i know the cramming feeling WAY TOO WELL!

happy-1 on 09/29/2016:

Horn_Of_Plenty on 09/29/2016:
Happy...stopping by to say hello :)

happy-1 on 09/29/2016:
Hugs!!!! Thanks for the poke to get me logging again.

[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 Next Page ]