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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Sunday Jun 10, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 224.3

Just kind of puttered about today making meals, washing dishes, laundry, grocery run, and screwing with my various online challenges and tracking. I made a pricebook up today which was kind of a time waste. Like I am ever going to have time to go through grocery stores and write down their regular prices for stuff I buy all the time from cilantro to chicken breasts. Oi.

Major victory was biking to/from and actually making it to church, then walking my dog.. I also ate almost completely on plan today. Just my meal timing was off. Yay me.

I have 60lbs to lose to reduce my risk of heart attack and stroke. I need to put that first before everything.

Moving outdoor timer on tv up an hour to 10 pm. Gotta be in bed by 11. I can't believe what a difference a stupid $1.99 device has made in my life. I wish I could put one on myself. And my parents. And my dog.

Mom loved getting 3 new nightgowns so that she doesn't have to wash them every day and can always have a fresh one. Trying to do better every day and every way.

Getting ready to do an Amazon splurge. Top of my list is a new notebook cover because the leather on my current one is a peeling mess. I also really want some stevia vanilla syrup, thermometer, a silicone milliliter measuring cup, some egg poaching cups, a silicone covered ice cube tray, and a Baofeng ham radio. As soon as this class is finished I am going to treat myself to a ham radio license and a first aid class. About $90 total for the Amazon splurge but feels like a lot. Still these little things will make meal prep easier. I could use a couple of tops to wear with jeans to be cute in but they will happen eventually.

Hugs and goodnight!

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/11/2018:
Sounds like a good day for you!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Yeah. Working on mental strength and fortitude that keeps me moving forward despite setbacks to make every day a good day.

horn_of_plenty on 06/11/2018:
excellent movement with bike ride and walking your doggie. awesome that you made it to church...

glad your mom enjoyed her nightgowns. the other night my mom wore the one i got her as a gift and it made me happy too!

you are already on a major happy roll with your weight loss so just keep on! i love looking at your chart!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Lol... and here I am feeling stuck like I am spinning my wheels. Thank you for the encouragement!!!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Lol... and here I am feeling stuck like I am spinning my wheels. Thank you for the encouragement!!!

horn_of_plenty on 06/11/2018:
you are def successful weight wise and def night just spinning wheels!

Donkey on 06/11/2018:
I hope your Monday was a good day, too.

happy-1 on 06/12/2018:
Hugs! I am here to conquer!

happy-1 - Saturday Jun 09, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 224.3

Had a bit of a miracle yesterday and the old friend of my mom's was able to make lunch after all. My mom got a rare nice time with an old friend for her birthday. I took them both to lunch at a vegan restaraunt. Money might not buy happiness but it does sure facilitate it. Brewery is rescheduled for next week. Couldn't do both in one day. Tonight hopefully I will take them for dinner somewhere and mom can open her presents. I faked up one from my dad. He's too depressedd to do anything for anyone.


Instructor is a douche and late for class again. At least this time he called.


227.8. I think I am retaining water. I'll post nutritionist tips later. I need to make my shopping list and meal plan for tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/09/2018:
Hey, that's so nice for your mom!

What is going on with your class?!? How frustrating this must be for you :-(

happy-1 on 06/09/2018:
The state paid for an 85 hour class with 40 hours of instruction and the instructor was trying to get away with only teaching 6 or 7 1-1.5 hour classes instead of 9 4-5 hour classes and doesnt follow any kind of syllabus or give out homework files for us to complete assignments so I got my case manager and the head of the school involved because I have to show I did all of the work in the class and applied for jobs in the field to the state of ca but I can't do that if the instructor is screwing around

happy-1 on 06/09/2018:
And he did his job today and then tried to convince me on the way out that we don't need to finish the class

Donkey on 06/09/2018:
My 5 Butterfly Fears:

1. Being old and broke - no retirement funds 2. Not having insurance coverage for my family and really needing it. 3. Not being able to stay on top of my bills. 4. Having my kids fall into dangerous situations 5. Getting hurt and not being able to function at all

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
That's some serious butterflies. Need to look back at the exercise to see what we are supposed to do next, lol.

bearcountrygg on 06/09/2018:
Happy for you that you could spend a nice day with your Mom

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Glad I could provide her with one. It is so hard to do anything for my parents that is a nice day out / excursion. They are out of practice being happy.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/09/2018:
i just looked at your weight chart...congrats...it's steadily going down! love it!

also, happy bday to your mom and very nice plans for lunch and dinner and her friend being able to come too!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Right??? I "won" one. So happy about that. I need to start doing my bedtime meditation again to emulate your strong positive attitude.

happy-1 - Friday Jun 08, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 224.3

From one of my online challenges today:

To do is to be
What you do is who you are.
To be excellent today, perform excellently today!


Mom's birthday is today. I made her a healthy breakfast of eggs baked in enchilada sauce, beans, spinach, avocado, tomatoes, salsa, and green onions with iced coffee. I got my dad a couple of birthday cards to choose from, maybe he will fill one out. I have a bunch of homework but I am hoping to not have to leave the house to do it. I spent too much time this morning on breakfast and cleanup, plus I have to make up the rest of the brownie batter. Tonight we will go check out a dog-friendly brewery for hir birthday. They have telescopes and vegan tacos on Friday nights. There is a burger joint nearby.


Logging meals on rise. Had too many wheat tortillas and cheese yesterday. Was going to only have 1 but I think I had 6. I was just so hungry.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/08/2018:
her tips that you mentioned to us were good...please share any further tidbits from your Rise nutritionist bc i'd love to read any further knowledge.

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
I will! I'll crunch them before I go food shopping this week.

horn_of_plenty on 06/08/2018:
i do love that quote bc it's true. doing is what you are...

saying you'll so something doesn't count until you actually do it!

happy-1 on 06/11/2018:
Right? We need to rise to meet challenges even if everything hurts.

bearcountrygg on 06/08/2018:
You made a really nice birthday for your Mom...I'm sure she enjoyed it!!! Happy Birthday to her!!!!

Donkey on 06/08/2018:
I'm still stuck on the butterfly challenge from yesterday. Most of my fears center around money and insurance, I think. :-/

Happy birthday to your mom :-) The brewery sounds so cool!

Maria7 on 06/09/2018:
So sweet of you to make your Mom's bd breakfast for her bd. Have a nice day. :-)

happy-1 - Thursday Jun 07, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 224.3

Achieved a certain semblance of order today... the dishes are washed, the dining table is clear, living room/bathroom is picked up, and laundry is done. It doesn't sound like much and everything is still a mess but getting all of these at the same time feels like victory. Even made lunch for my parents and got them to sit at the table together.


Logging my meals on Rise right now so I won't do that here... I have done 3 yoga workouts this week! I am giving tonight a rest because I am so sore in the mornings and I am taking my mom to see friends tomorrow for her birthday.


Good exercise from one of my online challenges today. 

Identify 5 Butterflies

How to do it: Take out a sheet of paper and a pen or pencil. Draw five large butterfly shapes. (Don't worry about making the drawing perfect. If you don't want to draw a butterfly, you can make five circles.) On each butterfly, write one thing that makes you feel worried or fearful. Your butterflies might be labeled: "paying the bills," "meeting my goals at work," or "my parents' health," for example.

Why it matters: "Butterflies" is a pretty name for that nervous, clutching feeling in your stomach you experience when faced with something distressing or worrisome. Fear can manifest itself in many ways. You may feel fluttering in your chest, or you may feel like there's a leaden ball in your throat or belly. These uncomfortable reactions are your body's way of telling you that something is wrong. By naming your butterflies - identifying what's causing you anxiety - you become aware of them and can think about what you can do to alleviate your worries.

My 5 butterflies are:

  • Identity theft
  • Finding a life partner
  • My parents health
  • Finding a job / starting a new job / fitting in
  • Building a friend circle again

What are yours?

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 06/07/2018:
You accomplished a lot today...congrats!!!

happy-1 on 06/07/2018:
Grrr get after it. I think the three yoga classes helped unlock my brain a little.

horn_of_plenty on 06/08/2018:
yeah, i wouldn't be intrigued to log meals in two places either! it sounds like you are enjoying using rise.

happy-1 on 06/08/2018:
No great revelations yet, but I'm trying to have patience. Trying to incorporate her tips as I go but it takes a little bit to have stuff show up onthe scale.

happy-1 - Tuesday Jun 05, 2018
(I can do all things through C, 80% or better daily)
Weight: 224.3

Good thought for the day from my 60 day challenge...

"Perfect Is the Enemy of "Better" - The point of this fitness program is to get you better:

  • Leaner
  • Faster
  • Stronger
  • Fitter
  • Healthier

DO NOT get hung up on doing everything perfectly on the first try...just do better than the last time you tried it. Competence comes with repetition. As you gain competence through practice, you will become better at the movements, and you will perform brilliantly."


Spending most of my day documenting how completely awry this class is... mostly because the instructor refuses to put in the time required to teach the class... like literally the scheduled class time.

I so don't want to be doing this but I have to. All I really want to do is go home and curl up with my dog.


2 eggs, sausage, 2 cups broccoli, coffee half n half

spinach salad

cliff bar

2 chicken thighs, broccoli

skinny cow ice cream sandwich

Second ice cream sandwich, because the first one was lonely
Omlette and spinach salad at corner bakery
iced coffee half n half
another cliff bar

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 06/05/2018:
Hope you are having a good day. :-)

happy-1 on 06/05/2018:
I can do all things through Christ who turbocharges my 40yo achey cranky self.

bearcountrygg on 06/05/2018:
Thoughts for the day are exactly right!

happy-1 on 06/05/2018:
Grrrr. Get after it

Donkey on 06/05/2018:
Amen! And food's looking good today too.

happy-1 on 06/05/2018:
LOL. Trying. Doing better by my fingernails and clinging to the side of a cliff but if I just keep going there is bound to be a slope.

horn_of_plenty on 06/06/2018:
your words in italics at the beginning remind me of the Black Eyed Peas song...Better Faster Stronger or something like that! good motivational words from you and a great workout song!

innerpeace on 06/06/2018:
LOL my thought exactly HOP, except I thought it was a song by Kanye West.

happy-1 - Monday Jun 04, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

226.6 normal weight fluctuation

Mom getting on my case was a good thing. It busted my procrastination to do homework, and I realized the instructor hadn't taught enough of the class to assign out the homework. Then I looked at the contract for the school they gave me and want me to sign... I would be financially liable for the class if the state doesn't pay. It seemed a little suspicious that the instructions were to not take it home and leave all dates blank... So I have an appointment with the EDD tomorrow to see what the deal is. According to the contract, as of next class I would be liable for about $4k out of $7k and under an NDA. I bet that's why nobody has said anything about the class or instructor to the EDD... They all got the contract before class started and are liable. I fell through the cracks and didn't get the contract till after the class started... and I put off signing it because I spaced out.

Go mom. Glad I bought three nightgowns instead of just one like she asked for her birthday. I can be a snot and she pushes through it instead of passing it by.


Old boss gave me a free challenge cycle while I am working with the nutritionist on Rise so I don't fall off. He just wants me to get healthy. Aaaaaaaw.

Camping trip got cancelled. All of my food is shelf stable and in my bear barrel so it is good to go for an upcoming trip... But that means I need to go food shopping today and prep for the week.

Here are the nutritionist's tips so far:

1 Use veggies instead of rice with beans. Too many carbs

2 If you are going to eat because you are anxious, try doing pushups or jumping jacks

3 Make sure backpacking food is real. Nuts/berries, jerky

4 Protein cookies are better than the real thing but still super processed. Try to limit them

5 Try to distract yourself with water first at night before eating anything after bedtime


Head of school says he doesn't know what is going on, nobody has ever complained before. If the class isn't ok next week, then he is going to cancel the class.


oatmeal, coffee, half n half

2 cups broccoli, eggs, sausage, iced tea w/ stevia

2 cups broccoli, 1/3 cup beans, chicken, 2tbsp shredded cheese, enchilada sauce, salsa, guac cup

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 06/04/2018:

bearcountrygg on 06/04/2018:
Yes...I agree with HOP...the tips are very good.

Donkey on 06/04/2018:
That's so weird about the class. Hmmm...

Food looks good. Tips are very good. I especially like #2 - probably could have used that myself today.

happy-1 on 06/04/2018:
Yeah. I think it's another EDD scam... or the instructor is mad at the school... or he's just Indian/Portuguese descent, and I swear everyone I know who is in that particular ethnic niche over-commits their schedule and puts in only half the time because they think that hours in are a suggestion not a rule except I don't think the State of CA sees it that way.

I should have done #2 before eating the peanut butter cups after I got off the phone with the head of the school.

happy-1 - Sunday Jun 03, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

226.1... still normal weight fluctuation. Stayed up too late talking to UDG when he got off work at 12. Missed dog walk on meetup.com this morning and slept till 11. Gotta pull it together. At least I took her on a long walk yesterday.


Yelled at my mom today because I was in brain sensory blowout mode... got up late, missed something I had been looking forward to. It was too hot. The house was a mess. I hadn't been able to blow dry my hair yet. My car needs to be washed but I'm going camping. I was hungry but I couldn't get my head around eating there. My dog was on my case. My dad was on my case. None of my bras fit. All my clothes are really uncomfortable. My nail polish was screwed up. She sat down and demanded to know about my class. Thinking about my class made me angry because the instructor was an hour late. So I yelled at her how my class was doing, put on my shoes and went to go get a burger.


Got mom's birthday present. Another nightgown. Birthday plan is to take her to go see an old family friend and her daughter for brunch.


Finally sat down to do homework and realized the instructor cut class short so early there's nothing to go on for the homework.


Emailed him and copied his boss... Because unless he is on the hot seat he doesn't do his job.


11am Oatmeal, vyvanse, excedrin. Iced tea

1:26 yogurt, blueberries, granola

3pm - double cheeseburger lettuce wrap. Sweet potato fries. Ranch dressing.

5pm - venti iced coffee, cake pop

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/03/2018:
(((hugs))) I'm so sorry! I hate it when everything is out of whack... It's good that you left. I hope you feel more centered soon. I hate feeling out of balance with the world.

Tomorrow is a new day...

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Yeah... i have a hard time getting my brain together at home. It's too messy and I get overwhelmed by the amount of work in front of me and torn by all the personal paperwork and homework I need to do and get nothing done at all. I need to go back to leaving first thing every am to get a cup of coffee and walk my dog.

bearcountrygg on 06/03/2018:
Sounds like a tough day....hope tomorrow is better for you.

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Just crankypants. It is my attitude and tolerance levels that are at fault not the day itself.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/03/2018:
sorry that today was not a great day...i also know how it is to live with parents as an adult when they always think of you as their child....but i'm glad you got out of the house!

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Yeah. It would be easier if she accepted "this is not a good time" but she pushes and then I go off like Katie Kaboom from the Animaniacs.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/04/2018:
oh, i've also bought my mom nightgowns as presents!

innerpeace on 06/04/2018:
I can't remember the last time I owned a nightgown. Shorts and t-shirt please!

happy-1 - Saturday Jun 02, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Ha. Had a box of sweet potato chips open and by the couch and my mom came over to graze. I took it away gave her a single serving (16 crackers) and took the box away. If I don't watch it carefully she will eat the whole box and accuse me of ruining her diet.

Class today was a nightmare. Exhausted. I did take my dog for a long walk when I got home. 9,778 steps and counting as I do chores and burn off head cold remnants.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 06/03/2018:
Way to go in your steps!!!!

What happened with your mom is exactly why I (we) can't have chips in the house. Both my husband and I are guilty of this kind of "grazing"... until the bag is empty.

happy-1 on 06/03/2018:
Yeah, but she can't control her blood sugar and is having terrible problems. If she doesn't turn it around she has to go on insulin.

bearcountrygg on 06/03/2018:
We have too much of that kind of stuff here already.…..we plan to shop differently when it's gone....you Mom is basically doing what we all do...it's difficult.

happy-1 - Friday Jun 01, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

227.1.... normal weight fluctuation. Mom is generally frustrated with the world and most specifically with me because she is having a hard time controlling her blood sugar and I said last night that I haven't had a reading outside of 85-95 in 6 months. (Even though I'm not prediabetic anymore I still test 2x a day because I have panic attacks if I feel foggy, groggy, or tired.) I've offered to do meal prep for her multiple times but she keeps saying no... she wants freedom of choice at every meal, doesn't want to eat leftovers, and doesn't like all the space in the fridge being taken up with plasticware.

Also she is mad at me because we conflicted yesterday and she didn't think there was anything wrong with that tv show... I was like mom, anything that sexually explicit is super uncomfortable to watch with you. She said what are you talking about? Apparently she had no idea that the wedding speech was supposed to be funny because the groom was saying what the bride was like in bed. That puts a whole new horrifying spin on things.

Super tired. Have been posting photos of food to the Rise app for the nutritionist. She posts little comments about meals but no breakthroughs yet. At least I got up at 6 today! Inching my way back to being a contributing member of society.


Some dude ok okc asked if I was affectionate and passionate. I said like every other introvert the right person brings it out in me. He said "well I am very affectionate and passionate sorry if it is TMI" I said a little. I just don't like that stuff being brought up right away and try to cut it off at the pass. He also said he is diabetic and needs a meal prep app and the first thing that popped into my mind was erectile dysfunction. Am I hypocritical?


2pm. Broke down produce purchased yesterday to single servings. Unpacked clothes from last weekend. Trying to figure out what it would take to get a bed in the middle bedroom. -


4pm - Just felt hormones kick in. UGH. Crazy PMS monster is coming.


7:47 pm - Out at coffeeplace. Had to spend a couple of hours on a worksheet for tracking spending because doing stuff like that helps me relax enough to focus on homework. AND I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK (stress stress stress)


9:30pm - Why am I only starting homework now????  Why did my brain demand I spend time planning my menu for my camping trip??? I could have done that tomorrow.


Up: 6.... vyvanse, excedrin, advil 9 - oatmeal, coffee, half n half. Vitamins

12ish - mexican baked eggs. 2 eggs in enchilada sauce, 1/3 cup black beans, 1/2 cup brown rice, 2 cups spinach, 2 tbsp shredded cheese, 1 guac cup, stevia punch

1:40ish 1 bag dark choc peanut butter cups, adderall

3ish - Greek chicken bowl (1/3 chicken breast, 2 cups parsley, 1 cup cucumbers/tomatoes/onion, 1/2 cup brown rice, olive oil, lemon jiuice, salt/pepper

4:30ish - Another bag of dark choc peanut butter cups. 1 grande starbucks iced coffee with half n half. Needed to get out to study. 

9:10ish - cheese stick, hummus, cherry tomatoes, carrots, chicken, chocolate chip cookie 

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/01/2018:
your food sounds good and your productivity sounds great. wow, you send photos of your food to the nutritionist...impressive.

great job keeping your own blood sugar in check!

what TV was it???

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
Productivity is low... class is tomorrow and I haven't done homework yet.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
Rise is the app the nutritionist is on... you take photos of what you eat and log them.

bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Send your photos to us too...we like good food pics!!!!...and I'm with HOP...what program does your Mom like? Sounds like an old British show....I remember...or is it a new one?

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
I'll see if I can find a way to post pics without driving back to my social media profile. I kind of depend on the anonymity of this site to kind of work out the things that block me from being fit and healthy and the people here to make me look at the things I am not looking at.

She's pulling up stuff like Girlfriends Guide to Divorce, Cuckoo, etc. All shows I would like if the atmosphere at home was friendlier and I wasn't watching w my parents. They lead to super uncomfortable discussions. My mom thinks I am out doing everything on TV.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
And when I say nobody really does that stuff she gets mad at me.

bearcountrygg on 06/01/2018:
Never seen those shows. Moms kinda think that way sometimes...maybe she is fishing to get some admissions from you...

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
I am super boring

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
Which is probably why I am single. You have to like people in general to get jiggy with it the way they show on tv. I hate most people.

Donkey on 06/01/2018:
I completely get what you are saying about those types of shows. I have to be in the right frame of mind for them, and watching them with my mom would be so totally embarrassing. It probably shouldn't be, but it would be very painful to do so.

Your noon meal sounds delicious! Actually, so do the rest of your meals!

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
It's cheap to cook at home! Except for treats I can do less than $5 a day per person, lol.

happy-1 on 06/01/2018:
This is why we should work on a food/recipe blog together for extra cash. $11-19 RPMs.

happy-1 - Thursday May 31, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Still on the mend but I must be feeling better because after I had oatmeal and coffee, i got up amd cleaned. I wish I knew why when I am sick and I have too much to do I further compound the problem by staying up till 4am watching Hallmark movies? Self sabotage at it's laziest.

Shower next.


3:46... showered, hair blown dry. Just sorted through what's left in my cooler from dog sitting and discovered 2 days worth of meals in there when properly assembled. Yay!

Dog is restless and making me crazy. I need to wear her out in the am for a peaceful day. Not sure how to do that with her hips.

Prioritization... physically better but brain is still a pudding bucket.


4-5:30 talked to UDG. God bless him for boosting my morale.


6pm - super hungry and just made dinner when the circus came home. Both were grumpy and my mom put on a tv show with gross humor from the uk that kind of poisoned the energy of the house and blitzed my brain out more. I don't know why she goes for these sexually graphic, crude shows that are angry funny not happy funny.


3am - lemon nilla wafers. Lost count

8am - coffee, meds and oatmeal

1:30 pm - eating my feelings. Jack's cheese pizza and 2 coke lifes.

5:30 - 2 eggs baked in enchilada sauce, 1/2 cup cooked brown rice, 1/3 cup black beans, 2 tbsp shredded cheese, 1 cup guac, hot sauce. Water w stevia punch flavoring.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/31/2018:
Sounds like you are feeling better...…...that's good news.

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
I am. Should be functional the rest of the way for class on saturday. Might track down a cup of coffee and wifi tonight

Donkey on 05/31/2018:

happy-1 on 05/31/2018:
Thanks! Kind of need them today.

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