225.3 good downwards trend on the weight I gained back.
Day 4 no neck pain. Some numbness on right side. Yoga and weightloss should help.There are these acupressure mat and pillow sets on Amazon I would like to try. See if they help with the numbness.
Spending the morning at church to see my friend sing and then off to errands. I also booked a yoga class today at 2:00. Should be just enough time to do all 3 before coming home to make dinner. I will make some kugel (egg noodle casserole with cottage cheese) for my dad for the week and some broccoli beef or dinner. Healthified Chinese food is a big hit here.
I’m working on the habit tracker. I am trying to build so many habits that I am dizzy. And it won’t let you delete any.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
Day 3 pain free. Oh please let this be the new state of being for me. It’s such a nice change. I woke up early and cleaned the kitchen and straightened out a few things. Then I met puppet dude for a movie and had a surprisingly nice time. He looks at me like wile e coyote looked at the road runner and I understand that cartoon on another level now. I will say this, I tried to buy coffee because he got the movie and he wouldn’t let me pay. Nice change.
Another bout of insomnia though... I think 2:30 might be too late for caffeine for me.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
Pain-free day 2, except for exhaustion because I couldn’t get to sleep last night at all and then slept a couple of hours this morning. Not even any right-side numbness. Maybe making the appointment with the neck specialist scared my neck into releasing? It works when I call tech support... whatever is broken automatically fixes itself.
It occurred to me that I need people to “catch energy from” daily... that when I am around active people I am more active and productive so maybe I should try to do 8am class pass classes to jumpstart my cognitive energy. I forgot that part about inattentive adhd... that “activation” is the hard part. Starting your brain to even start the timer.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
I also struggle sometimes with my attention. Today i've kept most of my chores and activities to a minimum on purpose, to allow myself lots of wiggle time and low stress heading into a wedding tonight.
Pain free day. Took advantage of it and took my dog to the park until she towed me back to the car. What would I do without my dog? I love shedding my skin for a little while and vicariously enjoying the sun and grass and breeze... Just being and being out and being together. Now she is curled up next to me and we are listening to my parents enjoying the lasagna I made for dinner. Well technically they are arguing about something. But that’s just them. Silence is scarier.
Discovered an app called Goals wizard to help you organize your habits and stuff according to your goals. I put all the habits in there I need to build and there’s more there than I can physically do in one day. I do something and then I need to sit down. I literally do not have the physical endurance to do all the chores and tasks I need to do. Maybe this is how I will get stronger? Ugh. So tired.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
i get tired too doing household chores, they aren't fun!
8 - up. sore neck. couldn’t find meds. tried laying in a diff position to make neck better. was up late because 1) I saw that my freshly scrubbed tub was dyed grey with hair shampoo... everything felt futile, 2) tried calling ex in sd and we were talking about how overwhelmed I was and 3) my dad heard the upset tone in my voice and came out and got involved... and I couldn’t get through the conversation with him because he is the type of person who has to find fault with someone if something is wrong... and 4) I ate a pizza and 2 big cookies yesterday and got mad at myself, and 5) I went to sleep in my bed but my dog peed my bed 3x... so I couldn’t get to sleep. 4) I’m worried about her but I can’t go to the vet alone or with my parents because I will decide emotionally and end up spending every last penny I have on an 18yo dog... So I placed an order for a dog urinalysis kit and it hasn’t come yet so I feel like a jerk... and 6) I talked to my aunt the other day and she was making suggestions like “have a friend do x... or y...” and I had to say you don’t understand... I don’t have friends like that anymore. So she said “well then you have to make some changes “ and I said yeah... I’m going to the OT and she’s having me do a sleep study and a time management study... so from that I should know which ones... but the more I think about it... all I have been doing my entire life is trying to make changes and I’m exhausted. I am dizzy from making changes and broke from trying programs and therapy and nothing helps me make whatever magic change it is that helps me connect to people and work on a team effectively. I’m so tired and tired of being tired.
But my friend from church is singing Sunday at 11. I can show up to that. And I can go to the beach on Saturday with puppet dude. And I can show up for yoga tomorrow. And I can go to bed on time tonight. And I can pull off some basic errands today before then. Starting now. I can change everything one step at a time.
11 - Gave up. had my mom help me look. turns out they were in my car.
12:30 - Circus went to doctor. I reset. managed to call PT for appointment. Have had a mental block about it.
4:00 - made PT call for neck I have been putting off. called a volunteermatch ad to volunteer to help seniors make herb gardens... maybe I will meet other people also caring for their parents. putny OT homework together... the start of it at least.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
Turns out the very minor scratch on my dad’s leg is infected. Mom bundled him off to the doc. He’s on antibiotics and it is a wait and see kind of deal. My mind goes to the worst. I directed my anxiety last night to the spare bedroom and pulled a bunch of boxes out. I also downloaded the ebay app to start listing stuff for sale. There’s too much stuff and my dad thinks there is a dollar value on everything and won’t toss. Well, let’s find out. If it goes bad I will need all the space I can get.
Trying to find a habit tracker with a web app not just a mobile app that doesn’t show habits I do not have to do today and hides them once they are checked off. Habitshare is good but once you get to a lot of habits it is too many. And I am trying to do routines so it is a lot of micro habits.
Went to bed late last night. Got anxious and then distracted about taking meds on time. I think I fell asleep about 2 am.
At least the instantpot auto turned off the low setting on it’s own and I woke up to perfect refried beans this morning. They were too watery and I left them on low with a collander on top. I made my dad mexican eggs for breakfast.
Puppet dude is diabetic. Accidentally hit a nerve when I was telling him about the OT program and their track record for getting people off diabetes meds. Now that I know I see all the side issues he’s having... Confusion, overwhelm, cravings, exhaustion... I feel for him.
8:30am up (late) - oatmeal eith cherries and pepitas. Finished repacking my bag for dog sitting and did laundry. Dog is peeing everywhere. Where is my amazon order for her? Can’t really clean carpets till it comes. At least she mostly pees her dog beds and those can be washed.
11:40 AM - Heading to Starbucks with all the work I haven’t done the past few days because I have been in too much pain. I finally feel better. Yoga tonight will probably put me back there. ugh. At least I’ve been taking my stack again consistently the past week. That should help.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
I am glad you are selling everything and just not throwing everything out!
Still sore from last week’s yoga classes.. 5 days now! but in massively better shape than Saturday. Started wearing my fitbit again and it says I slept 11 hours. Egad. I knew I was tired, but THAT tired? Oi.
Conquered dishes and the bathtub yesterday. We have a fiberglass tub and it is terrible. It seems to absorb dirt into the surface and no cleanser or scrubbing is enough to get it up. I used a melamine sponge on the sides, but the textured bottom is still grimy.
I am tempted to stop buying food for the house and cooking dinners for a few weeks. My parents have stopped doing for themselves. See if they start going to the market again.
—-
8AM - up, rx bar, meds water
Puttered around cleaning. More dishes. Bathroom scrub down, laundry. Made two meal prep breakfasts.
- Egg, cheese, olive oil, turkey sausage.
Spent 20 min decluttering shelves in the living room. Found stuff of mine for goodwill.
A find!!!!! Incense, a copper bowl, a crystal rock and some incense stuff for my mom’s meditation table when I finish the patio!
Rescheduled OT appointment because I haven’t done my homework.
12:30PM - A break. Need to rest my shoulders. Ironically my neck doesn’t hurt.
1:15 got up, put away laundry, did hair, put on beans and rice to pre-cook for dinner.
1:45pm Tylenol and meds. need to lay back down again. I feel like someone whacked me with a bat
At some point I moved my car, put the rice and beans back on to cook. Neck and back are better but I am tired.
3:40 - Netflix break. izombie
5pm - neck and back are better. stretched out and heard scary popping... but better. Then I realized that my mom took my dad to the doctor kind of late for them... I think it must be urgent care. A little worried. Got ahold of them by phone but no details.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
Hope your dad is ok...
Yeah... I’m going to put it in front of the corner I am planting up so if you look in one direction there is something nice to look at.
good job putting laundry away...it took me an extra day till yesterday to put my own away...:) i'm glad my place is now organized again!
Home from dog sitting. Everything is fine... I checked in and asked proactively. She asked me to come back labor day... I said let me double-check. I am not sure about that... It was a much-needed break... and awesome to get away... but I came home to an unbelievable mess. And my whole body hurts and my head feels like someone took a baseball bat to it. And everything I have eaten doesn’t help. All I want to do is run away.
But... shouldn’t do that.
Started with the dishes. Next I’ll do the bathroom and clean the carpets. I can do this. I do not need to order a pizza or some chinese food to do it.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
Another successful dog sitting day in that their dog is happy and I went in the pool. Super sore from yoga. Can barely move... major second day soreness. I brought a few “fun” tasks to do today and I am crawling to get them done... a couple of care packages for “any female soldier “ and some camp swaps... mini emergency fishing kits. I am just trying to do one task for each at a time but it is slow going because everything hurts and I’m dying
——
I can’t believe how much an epsom salt bath helped. You know what else helps? pizza
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
Pizza, on the other hand, is a different story... LOL
dog sitting successfully. left my dog at home. trying to sleep with the bulldog but he says he’s just not that kind of guy... what dio I think he is? a shepherd mix? you need a velcro breed for that, lady. Augh. I cannot sleep without my dog.
puppet dude is turning up the pressure. he’s quitting the justokcupid so he can just talk to me.
claustrophobia! buddy! there you are again. breathe. vodka. breathe.
am more or less on track, calories and eating... so far.
Progress as of today: 95.6 lbs lost so far, only 15.4 lbs to go!
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Good on being back on track. :-)
BearCountryGG on 08/26/2018:
You sound calm and quite content.....nice!
Donkey on 08/26/2018:
I agree, it seems as though some of the daily chaos has subsided a bit?
jasmine on 08/26/2018:
change is difficult.
horn_of_plenty on 08/27/2018:
lol, i would also feel dizzy trying to do too many things all at once!
you have great plans for today, very productive day! I am sure you will sleep well.
so glad you don't have pain!