Thurs 4/28/22 7am:
I was worried I overdid it yesterday by cleaning out the fridge when 7 day load was high and ruined my sleep, but I actually did really well... The calmer room without electric (and a more snuggly kitty) helps with falling asleep faster (20 minutes!!!) and I slept 9.5 hours a second night in a row. I had a ton of REM and deep sleep, which brought my averages up towards target range. I feel calm in my soul. A little tired... I took extra Glipizide yesterday to get my blood sugar down before bed. It worked, mostly. If I can resist granola and cherries today, I have a shot at not taking more than 1 today and sleeping well and feeling good tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed.
I did end up eating extra at/after dinner yesterday when I pushed myself past my exhaustion point. At dinner, I had a pork chop, apple, almond butter, sunflower seeds, zuchhini, tomato sauce, mozzarella, and shiritaki noodles. The noodles made me feel full and stopped me from eating more... so maybe this week I just plan to eat them at dinner, even though that's a big food cost... I bought a box on amazon to deal with my pasta craving. I avoided them before this because of my blood pressure and the sodium in them... but they really helped.
Progress as of today: 68.3 lbs lost so far, only 88.7 lbs to go!
Wed 4-27-22 8am
Slept long and balanced last night AND it only took me 20 mintes to fall asleep last night!!!!! I woke up this morning feeling refreshed again!!! Not as good as Monday, but close... probably because deep was a little lighter and sugar was a little higher... but I'm getting there!
I almost don't want to do anything and squander how good I feel. I'm actually looking forward to today. Like I should be out on the beach or something. I want to see how long the energy lasts though, and I don't want to set myself up for unplanned eating thak spikes my sugar again. I want more days like this.
There is definitely some cooking to do. I still haven't made the zuchhini bread. I said I'd make dad pork chops tonight... so part of my energy needs to go to that.
Progress as of today: 68.3 lbs lost so far, only 88.7 lbs to go!
9:45 My breakfast is ready, but I only laid down for a second to rest and now I am a cat mattress… but that’s ok. A 14h fast would end at 10am anyway.
I tossed my mom’s bottle of salad dressing. It had canola oil so I wasn’t using it. I miss my mom.
Tues 4-36-22 6:30 am
I think the granola yesterday spiked my sugar and messed up my sleep. Low REM but a 72 body battery today. Struggle day. Such a downturn after feeling great yesterday.
Name of the game today is to avoid hopelessness and despair. Stay out of foods that will drive my sugar up. Still get PT in. Already went for my 15 min walk this morning. There's not a lot of room for activity today... Saturday's chores are still in my 7 day cumulative load... so in order not to pop above the green zone and cause a multi-day crash... No PT today?
Lord grant me serenity and calmness to not eat foods I shouldn't eat, keep moving even though I am tired, and be kind to my dad even though I am upset.
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only 95 lbs to go!
I hope you had a good day Tuesday (((hugs)))
Mon 4-25-22 6:30am
Well... sleeping with the power off may have been a success. I do have random good nights of sleep every once in a while... BUT... The room just felt calmer, like a cabin in a lake RV park. Not as calm as backpacking, but better. I listened to headspace on Netflix then passed out immediately after, right on the nose at 9pm and slept a solid 8h straight through till 5am. My sleep window on the nose, even though I forgot to take melatonin. Woke up feeling well-rested. Had weird dream about staging a high school musical with my drama teacher about Falstaff. I just stopped by to visit and she made me the director. When stats posted this morning, I had a solid 8 hours with the exact right distribution of REM and deep sleep.
I tidied my room, got setup to host coworking...
9AM Hosted coworking, worked on my planner pages.
Went strong all the way through to 11 AM. Plenty of energy, just hungry. I only ate half my breakfast. !2 lunch. Chicken squash veg cheese
2:50 pm apple. Rolling the dice on blood sugar. But I have zero energy and I’m still hungry. Dad wants to go to the store. I don’t want to waste my energy.
I felt so great this morning… Now I’m exhausted again. I don’t understand. I didn’t even do PT yet.
Ordered Instacart again. Everytime I do that it makes me feel like a failure. All that money.
I dumped out paperwork this morning and didn’t get it sorted. Now there’s no space to do PT. Might as well put it all away.
Clear the space. Reset. Try again tomorrow.
Sun 4-24-22 6pm
EMF meter came
| Measurement | Normal | Cell phone in another room | Breaker off |
| Standard MAG max1 | 1.5 | 1.4 | 1.1 |
| Standard ELEC max 10 | 28 | 37???? | 0 |
| RF max 1 | 0.06-0.214 | 0.093 | 0.006 |
They all jump around if I shift.
So new experiment, in addition to no microwave, I will turn off the circuit breaker to my bedroom. Just use an extension cord for my alarm clock and cpap until I can figure out what to do about the location of my bed.
And move my phone to another room.
OMG. What will I do without my phone and tv to fall asleep?
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only 95 lbs to go!
Unless I buy a tent (and struggle with the cat) there’s nothing I can do about the 3 5g networks and 9 wifi networks… ah well. Let’s see where my body battery is this week. In theory I should charge in the 80s or 90s consistently.
8:00 PM flipped off the circuit breaker. May be psycho somatic but bedroom does feel calmer.
Hopefully no tinfoil hats in my future.
For Donkey.... My instant pot hack. Needs a cover for the dish so the food doean't get soggy, but the foil is in the kitchen.
Sun 4-24-22 5:28am:
Pebble by pebble.
Woke up at 3:45am. This is a little unfair because I fell asleep at 9:45. That's only 6 hours of sleep. Waiting for 6:30 am to see what my sleep quality is. With the chocolate bar and working past quitting time, I'll bet it's not good.
Oh well.
Today I tackle cleaning up the front steps, living room, vacuuming, and my dad's bedroom. I'd rather deep clean the fridge, but that isn't on the direct path to nurse-ready. I used Garmin to record my chores yesterday, and was surprised at how many EPOC points it was worth.
How does that even work????
----
I should make up any food that needs to be made up. Keto zuchhini bread is definitely on that list. The thing is that we are out of a bunch of ingredients... and I need to do groceries, but I also need to deep clean the fridge before the next grocery run. Not like major ingredients... a jar of salsa, monkfruit sweetener for tea in the morning... stuff I haven't felt like buying on instacart because I've only been buying essentials to avoid markup. Friday was the first day in months I felt up to going to the store. The Dollar Tree foods are poison so I didn't food shop there. I just bought some Comet.
Actually, now that I think about it, I could just throw tomatoes and peppers and an onion in the toaster and make some salsa. It would be lower sodium. Yes. Now I remember why I don't buy salsa in bulk.
---
How did I just write all of that and forget that I need to do PT as my first priority today?
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only 95 lbs to go!
10:55 cat is still on me. She twitches her tail to indicate displeasure when I move.
How long can a cat sit on a human? Is an hour a lot?
Steamed lunch, meal prep I set up yesterday. Chicken alfredo w veg.
Called one of my mom’s friends just to say hi.
Ate.
12:20 resting in a chair
2 bites of dad’s keto ice cream.
1pm. Still haven’t done anything solid with my day. I need to do stuff to build up sleep drive. Probably a walk later. Brain just not coming together.
Started laundry.
3:30 lying down again
i have a coworker that likes to get 6hours sleep. some people don't need as many as 7/8 hours. for me, i do prefer long sleeps. but many people claim they don't like them!
keto zucchini bread sounds AMAZING! :)
Sat 4-23-22 5:40 am
Cracked a mason jar this morning by steaming it in the Instant Pot. UGH. Maybe I don't need another flat of glass jars and two more packs of divided glass containers. Maybe I need stainless steel ones. Ugh.
Have also been debating buying 5 pairs of joggers and sports bras so I can just get up and go for a walk without changing out of my pajamas. I have been slacking on walking first thing because I hate changing out of my pajamas before I am fully started for the day and I don't wear outside or chore clothes in bed, even if they aren't dirty... I have 3 pairs of pajama pants but I feel self conscious walking around outside in them. They are striped and tight right now. Also 2 aren't cotton.
Sleep schedule improved... 9:45pm to 4:15am... Waiting for 6:30 am to see how my sleep quality was. Probably not good. I feel like crap. Body Battery only charged to 53. Feels like it. Probably the 25 hours of recovery I banked with that walk to the store yesterday. At least it built up enough sleep drive to sleep relatively on time today. It felt good to be out and not looking at the numbers, but it's a price to pay. Still it was better than sitting around brooding about the text from Bobcat Boyfriend... I said I was trying no microwave for 30 days, he said "How many weeks does this “experiment” have to go before I’m an option? I’m just waiting for a computer to tell you you can hang out with me again.“ Fair enough, but in the moment my feelings got really hurt.
Stats yesterday were disappointing. My "hug the bottom" strategy led to a decline in VO2 Max.
Found an article today that matches my experience with the Moderna last year. I'm still struggling. Feeling less nuts and angrier at my doctors.
Hit me on my walk yesterday... Overall, I am doing better...
7:30 - Ate keto hot breakfast. Got up and tided again.
8:05 took a break
Washed dishes. Cleaned counters, took out trash.
9:30 resting. Battery down to 42.
12:21 steaming lunch (paf meal extra veg no rice) and taking a break
Ate salted almonds. Super munchy and there are no goodies or cheat meals in the house. I’d like a Boatload of chinese food. Just the whole takeout menu.
1:24 taking a break.
Trying to get it together to clean the bathroom. I hate it. A senior’s bathroom is gross.
3:55 took a break
I know better, I need to quit, but I am restless. I still have cognitive energy, even if I am getting tired. Glad I said I would see Bobcat next week. I am going to need that long to get myself in order.
Started my laundry. Defrosted the ice machine in the freezer. Told dad I’m not cooking tonight.
4:45 taking another break
Ugh just ugh.
I still need to vacuum and do dad’s bedroom tomorrow. Tidy the living room… Clean up out front… that gets me to “home health ready”…
What they don’t see is what I need to do to be comfortable… deep clean the fridge and make up anything in there I can. Scrub the shower and replace the caulk. Clean and plant the patio. These can wait for the rest of the week.
5:15 resting. I should be eating dinner, but too mentally tired to put that together.
A tiny bit of grandmotherly advise..( I know it was not asked for but...)..Boyfriends are boyfriends because they want to spend time with you......I think his message is he wants to be with you......and have a good time in your presence.....I think he would like to feel like you are putting him first some of the time. I think that is true for most relationships.......when that closeness leaves...the relationship likely won't last.....
I too have been struggling a bit with getting out of my pajamas in the morning, to exercise. I haven't done it (yet), but if you can find comfortable, suitable clothes to sleep in that you can also exercise in, I'd go to bed with the workout clothes for the next day. I know that other people do this, too.
Also she said a tent would create discomfort and affect sleep. So better to start with an EMF meter. I found a used meter on Amazon that comes on Sunday. We have power lines behind us and I get 9 wifi signals where my bed is so there may not be much I can do.
I’m using an Instant pot with a steamer rack and a steamer lid. As convenient as a microwave, just takes a few more minutes. I’ll post photos tomorrow. I dunno about the airfryers… I haven’t bought one because they are plastic and I don’t heat plastic.
Pulse ox even when lying down shouldn’t be lower than 92%. Did you have COVID? If so, it may be the reason your weight is creeping up. I’d say call your doc, but they pay zero attention to fitness trackers. If you have a finger oximeter, double check it with that.
“A normal level of oxygen is usually 95% or higher. Some people with chronic lung disease or sleep apnea can have normal levels around 90%. The “SpO2” reading on a pulse oximeter shows the percentage of oxygen in someone’s blood.
If your home SpO2 reading is lower than 95%, call your health care provider.”
https://www.health.state.mn.us/diseases/coronavirus/pulseoximeter.html
if the new joggers & sports bras will help you get out; i would totally get them. the price to pay for convenience is usually worth it, especially in terms of getting exercise/health benefits out of things (IN MY OPINION!). i'm big on this strategy.
it's nice to hear you are cooking more and doing dishes more regularly. i have a HUGE desire to cook more, especially healthy meats - and to cook them in the slow cooker for ease of meal prep with veggies as soups. it's also pretty easy cleanup.
i plan to do this pretty regularly - the soups and cooking way more meat, that is. the meat would be a benefit to my diet, even fish may work out in the slow cooker, actually! though, i don't think i want that - i don't need a whole meal coming out with a fishy taste...
Fri 4-22-22 12pm
So yesterday, shockingly, I met almost all minimum goals.
I messed up when it came to eating. I didn't binge but I ate way too many calories too late at night and drove up my sugar. Consequently I am exhausted today.
Moving forward is key. Today is my first day of not using the microwave. According to Reddit, next step is blocking EMF fields while sleeping. That means a tent, I guess. I trifield emf reader is $169. A tent is a couple bucks more. I can't move my bed away from the wall with the outlet or do anything about the power lines and wifi... I'd just buy the meter, see I'm f'd, and not be able to do anything about it... so tent experiment it is. Not sure how it will hold up to a determined cat...
Apparently EMF is the only part of sleep hygeine I haven't addressed.
Bought ground instant tea. Apparently Nestea is high in flouride and bad for bone health. Ugh. Is there anything that won't make me sicker???
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00U31XAF8?psc=1&smid=AM8E6BPT7U4YE&ref_=chk_typ_quicklook_imgToDp
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only 95 lbs to go!
5:20 resting
6:50 resting.
Thurs 4-21-22 3:30am
Ok, I give up. I fell asleep at 4/5ish yesterday, which I never do. I woke up at 9pm. Have been in bed since trying to rest even if I can't get back to sleep... which I couldn't. Might as well get up and eat because... what else do I do?
At least staying in bed charged my battery even if I didn't get more sleep. Deepok Chopra was right.
Today is a dad doctor day. I am just going to have to hump it out.
45 min walk yesterday somehow decreased my fitness level???? I can't figure this out!!!!
If I had unlimited resources, I'd hire a 24x7 live in caregiver, a swat team of personal assistants to do all the paperwork and pack up the house, stick dad in a home, and put myself in a wellness/weight loss retreat for 6 months. Then I'd do a stint in Americorps for a couple of years.
Maybe I'll buy some more $1 scratchers to motivate myself to do PT. Have a bunch to redeem for more tickets anyway.
Progress as of today: 62 lbs lost so far, only 95 lbs to go!
9:30 up, diy chai latte
10am - Reading DD
Ate two hot dogs and ketchup. Not as good as I remember.
Wed 4-20-22 12:30pm
Light on REM, but that would correspond with higher overnight sugar. Headache is mostly gone, but blood pressure is still a litle high, 144/83. On meds. Weight loss will help, regular exercise will help... so after lunch I walk.
Trying to get back on track with diet. Tofu scramble is actually still pretty good the second day. I had it with keto hot breakfast. Very satisfying. Lunch is some turkey with squash and tomato sauce. Dinner is a chicken cesar salad. Hoping to cut my calories with real meals. My weight is up to 255.
Told dad I would do photos after dinner with him. Making him a burger.
Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!
10:30pm - hungry. Need to eat something. Not enough calories today
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Inch by inch.
Giving myself a buffer day because I am a little tired and tomorrow is a dad doctor day.
Lord, thank you for my dad, shelter, and space to heal. Thank you for Bobcat. Please help me get restorative sleep tonight.
Fell asleep quickly, but woke up at 10 from a nightmare about how I am not ever getting better and it is time to just give up. Augh.
Lord, thank you for putting me to sleep quickly. Please help me fall back asleep.
1am still up. Had raisin bread. Scared of what happens if I can’t drive my dad to the doctor today. Please lord, help me sleep.
Jacky82020 on 04/28/2022:
Yeah, rest up and conserve your energy. Medical appointments can be so stressful all around.
Ty. If you say I made the right choice, I feel a lot less guilty about taking it easy for a day.
Donkey on 04/29/2022:
Good luck at Dad's doctor's appointment. (((hugs)))
Raisin bread - I haven't had that in AGES. It's such a comforting food, though. Not real sweet, but just enough. And the cinnamon is like hug in toast.
Ty. Dad ended up canceling. Phew!
It sounded good but… it wasn’t as good as I remembered.