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happy-1 - Wednesday Dec 11, 2019
(60D: Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 13 of 60  

Feeling better enough that I think I will be back on the bike tomorrow and in yoga by friday. Had a dermatology appointment today. Apparenly he does not re-pierce ears.

Pro-organizer helped me get through the last of mom's "recent" boxes yesterday. I am so glad it was her going through the boxes instead of me... I had one that must have been repacked into a newer box... and found a few copies of dad's porn from the 60's and 70's. Horrifying on so many levels... and some were Playboys possibly worth selling... I had her stuff it in another box and refused to look at it or deal with it. She tried to get me to deal with it or toss it. I just wanted it buried again...

Like if you opened a box of Cheerios and found a thumb, screamed, closed it, and put it back on the shelf in front of someone else.

Trying to stay on track with eating today. So far

  1. Daily coffee: Laird's creamer, nonfat milk powder, coffee
  2. Greenlight PBJ: No sugar peanut butter, reduced sugar raspberry jam, whole wheat bread
  3. Deli counter best pick: Baked chicken, kale slaw, plain iced tea
  4. 1/2 caffeine-free diet coke, part of a 1 pot pasta meal: Tomato sauce, white pasta, mushrooms, frozen spinach, shredded cheese
  5. 4 breaded cod fillets, ketchup and tartar sauce
  6. Seltzer
  7. Greenlight PBJ: No sugar peanut butter, reduced sugar raspberry jam, whole wheat bread

---

Cat is suddenly pulling out his fur all over my bed. a) gross, b) scary, c) worried he's sick again. 

---

Ex wants to hang out again. I said how about a real date, any saturday night? Like archery or something holiday.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Donkey on 12/12/2019:
Oh my, how shocking that must have been for you!

Good for you for requesting a real date. Proud of you!

happy-1 on 12/12/2019:
The horror... the horror... Nobody wants to know what makes mom and dad tick on that level.

happy-1 on 12/12/2019:
LOL I put it out there, but he didn't say "Great, let's go!"


BearCountryGG on 12/12/2019:
Going through other peoples possessions can be unnerving....Poor cat sounds like he is very nervous. If starting over with ex is in the picture it is a good time to change some rules. Good job!

happy-1 on 12/12/2019:
It's weird what I am finding, but it's an unbelievable amount of junk. I can't believed they prioritized hanging onto all this junk over having fun, friends, and family in their lives.

I think the cat got stressed because I was out of the house for a while yesterday.

I adore my ex, missed him terribly, but if I want to be happy to see him all the time, I need a few tweaks.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/12/2019:
I also was at the dermatologist yesterday, what a coincidence!

PB&J is always tasty, nice you can make it a little bit lighter. i'd like it with a seltzer or something on the side to fill me up, like coffee or tea.

happy-1 on 12/12/2019:
Skin and teeth are what really show age, right?

PBJs are divine nectar of the gods... they can only be topped by... peanut butter and honey sandwiches!



happy-1 - Tuesday Dec 10, 2019
(60D: Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 12 of 60 

Second day of antiboitics. Supposed to feel better tomorrow or the day after.

Feeling better enough that I don't want to keep spiraling in the downward trend of enslavement of taking care of dad, who has always confused parenting with child labor.His definition of what I should be doing is whatever he wants me to do whenever he wants me to do it. My definition of what I should be doing is making sure he has 3 hots and a cot, meds, medical/dental needs taken care of, and one excursion a week if there are no doctor visits.

Pro organizer is coming today. Diverting her time today from digging out that spare room to work on my papers. Unfinished paperwork is partly what is keeping me in slavery and poor self/health care. 

So let's get that knocked out. If I can't ride my bike with a UTI, I need to make today count a different way.

 

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/10/2019:
How did today go?

You def have a good plan in store. My apt is def cluttered. I feel like i want to throw 50% of my stuff out LOL. I will def have to work on cleaning up, myself :)

happy-1 on 12/11/2019:
Space feels amazing.


Donkey on 12/11/2019:
You're making progress with the organizer!

happy-1 on 12/11/2019:
Trying.



happy-1 - Monday Dec 09, 2019
(60D: Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 11 of 60

Stayed up till 4am last night for no particular reason other than I wasn't feeling well, didn't look at the clock, kept watching tv, and didn't do the things I needed to do to go to bed. Cat was trying to tell me I was up too late but I wasn't paying enough attention. Woke up just in time to get stuff done for the day that absolutely had to get done. Resetting. Cleaning a little, took a shower, making a to do list.

----

Got my antibiotics and a restock of groceries from Sams Club.

Felt bad about short shifting dad the last few days whle I was sick (again). Caved on the heart-healthy diet options and got dad the Dominos pizza he has been going on and on about, but it wasn't hot, and he thinks he had better pizza when he picked up there with my mom. Not even anything I could do anything about... He had a meltdown and I went to bed early... like 6:30pm.

Am I being trained to not do anything he wants? Or trained to slavishly give in to whatever he wants?

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/09/2019:
Our cat also is a creature of habit...he does definately sense when our routines change...he will race back and fourth up and down the hallway and up and down the stairs...then ends up in a scratching post frenzy. This is the first cat that we have ever had that was so tuned in...he also appears to be the smartest cat we have ever had...

happy-1 on 12/10/2019:
Aaaaaaaaaaw love that.

This cat is definitely also smart. And I think he understands what you say to him perfectly.


Horn_of_plenty on 12/10/2019:
are you taking naps during the day since you are up so late these couple nights?

sounds like you are sleeping in ;)

happy-1 on 12/10/2019:
No. I don't ever nap unless I have a fever. I'm just not wired that way. Just try to go to bed earlier that night and keep doing it till I am back on routine. Last night I went to bed at 6:30pm and slept till 8am. I'll be back at 4am this week or next.


Donkey on 12/11/2019:
Wait, are you talking about being trained by your dad or your cat?

happy-1 on 12/12/2019:
My dad... But you know, it also describes the cat.



happy-1 - Sunday Dec 08, 2019
(60D: Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 10 of 60

Stayed up too late last night because I was tired????  Makes no sense.

Also was just mentally overwhelmed by all the unfinished projects in my room and the visual chaos that keeps pulling my attention. I need everything to be "out of sight, out of mind" or at least "in the spot it belongs" for a space to be productive.

I'm not getting the things done I need to get done, so I might as well tackle the attention glitches.

---

All I accomplished today was parts of little crafts... I don't know that it was an effective use of my time... 

  1. Bleached/vinegared part of a wall
  2. Fixed a towel rod
  3. Started making a ceiling light shade out of paper
  4. Changed the cat blanket to match my bedding

Also made dad dinner and did a small run to get supplies from the dollar store.

A little tired/sad today. Hopefully it is just a UTI and not full scale depression. 

Bottomless pit lonely today. I miss my ex + can't see a second round working out. Had two invites out, but not feeling well enough to go anywhere.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/08/2019:
Mirrored screens with earth quake straps for yoga......never heard of those.

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
They are big room divider screens with mirrors on one side. My parents used them to hide boxes in the living room when I was a kid and they only had a 50 or so boxes, lol. I am putting them kiddie corner to each other so that I can put up a camera for online yoga instructors to check my positioning so that I do it right. There's only so much they can do if they can't see you or you can't see yourself.

Earthquake straps hold things up against the wall so they don't fall over. Since the screens will be flat they have no way to stand up.


BearCountryGG on 12/08/2019:
Okay...I think I get it now. Thanks for explaining that!

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
I will post photos when it is finished! Right now it is a pile of junk.


BearCountryGG on 12/08/2019:
I didn't know that there are online yoga instructors that did that.

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
They are actually pretty good. At least they create the momentum to do things at home. Inertia is my biggest battle.


Donkey on 12/09/2019:
I understand the mirrored screens better. For some reason, I was picturing mirrors on a canvas, rather than a screen. Screen = window? Not sure what I was thinking, because I have a screen that I use to block off the litter box area in the basement. (It's not mirrored.)

I completely get staying awake because you are too tired. Been there.

You're doing a LOT every day, just taking care of your dad, even if it feels that you are doing nothing. Perhaps you did not go out because you were too tired. Caregiving is an exhausting endeavor.

happy-1 on 12/14/2019:
I just need to attach them to the wall. Need to find my stud finder... Then figure out how to use it. Oh for a boyfriend that knows how to do this stuff... but I can learn to do this stuff.

Just spaced completely.

I have no idea where my time goes. It just is an endless energy suck.


Horn_of_plenty on 12/10/2019:
the yoga i used to do, like 10 yrs ago, was very time consuming and energy expending. i think if i did any, i could do it at home with my smart tv that Ricky got me! :)

Those are VERY interesting crafts that you started on! do you have to be careful to bleach the wall like that?

happy-1 on 12/14/2019:
You can probably do live online yoga classes with a smart tv.

I was shocked how well the bleach actually worked. It really took the mildew stains off.

It seems a little odd to work on crafts with so many more important things to do... but it is a huge stress reliever.



happy-1 - Saturday Dec 07, 2019
(Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 9 of 60

Got up at 5 (dog woke me up and then pooped on her bed while she was trying to wake me up).

Got to yoga at 8. Amazing class. I might be 2" taller.

Did errands.

Made dad lunch.

Tired in my bones. Super sore. Extra coffee not helping. So much to do. No bike ride today. Pushing sand.

Having an attack of the lonelies. I enjoyed seeing my ex, but I think I mostly just missed getting out of the house.

Making dad dinner.

Try again tomorrow.

More yoga?

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/08/2019:
Sounds like yoga is a positive thing!

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
Yoga is awesome. I felt so much better and more part of the world afterwards.


Donkey on 12/08/2019:
"Pushing sand" - some days are like that. Like Bear said, at least there was yoga. I hope you can make it to class again soon...

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
Mondays and Saturdays for sure!!! Working on figuring out more.


Horn_of_plenty on 12/08/2019:
yes, those yoga classes are def amazing in terms of posture and how your body feels. i used to do yoga and still do a few stretches, they always make me feel taller and more upright!

yea, i agree about the ex.

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
Yoga is awesome. This instructor is particularly awesome. I felt one whole side of my spine snap, crackle and pop... I don't have a weird tilted feeling anymore. Why don't you go to yoga anymore?

He's awesome... I miss him a lot... there's just a lot that would have to change and I'd have to set and enforce a lot of boundaries... and it's just not where I want my energy to go to right now... I need to dig myself out and get back to work... But also it is hard to be totally isolated and not have anyone.



happy-1 - Friday Dec 06, 2019
(Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 8 of 60 

Missed bike ride yesterday. Just couldn't get my brain together. Did get out to take stuff to Goodwill, pick up groceries, even be social. Late cup of coffee with ex. It was fun and good company. Bury the hatchet. No current plans to meet up again, but it was nice to just put things back on a happier note.

No bike ride today. Just couldn't get my brain together and didn't feel too great. A little UTI-y but won't worry about it unless it goes a couple of days. Did manage to suck it up about 2pm once stuff was in order and tackle two important tasks for today and make dad a hot meal. Chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and spinach. 

So far 3 missed days in my 60 days of bike riding. Back to the pre-bedtime checklist.

This morning I got a soft paw and big loving wakeup from my cat. Then he sat on my lap until I was ready to wake up. Maybe I should move the coffeemaker to my nightstand so I really don't hhave to get out of bed!!!!! I made the pets a fresh meal tonight and he came over and purred at me and told me how happy he was that he had a fancy dinner. Left an awesome coupon for a free cup of coffee on my desk and kitty peed on it. SOOOOOOOO GROSS. He has been returned to the bathroom. This is the first peeing on important papers thing... making me rethink the whole cat on desk option.,. A little frustrating because it was starting out as a good night.

All papers have been put away. Talk about motivation to be tidy.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/07/2019:
What the cat did to the coupon is familiar to me...I had a dog do that while I sat on the floor sorting things from the file cabinet ( all important stuff)....I don't know if I missed her cue to let her out...or if she had been paper trained in a previous life....but she ruined a whole lot of important paperwork.....tossed it because it was too gross of a thought to keep it...and amazingly...life went on....and if I ever need any of that stuff I will have to make moves to get it replaced or do without......but as devastating as it was to me at the time......I lived through it and it's that kind of thing that lessons are made of.....sounds like a lot of other good things happened for you too .

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
I emailed them and asked for a replacement coupon in the name of public health and promised not to bring the cat with me. Let's see if they replace it!

My dog will swipe my phone and keys and hide them on the patio because I pay too much attention to them. My cat is starting to feel that way about my laptop... I hope he doesn't pee on them!!!

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
Actually now that I think about it, his pee looked weird. If it happens again I will take him to the vet.


Horn_of_plenty on 12/07/2019:
OMG how i feel you with the UTI symptoms. I get it time to time, especially in the hot summer when i am sweating/walking more. i hope it goes away. maybe some cranberry juice and extra shower? feel better!!

Your kitty is why i cannot get a kitty lol. i'm not ready for that at all! for pee and mess, etc...you do a great job as a kitty mom though!

happy-1 on 12/08/2019:
I think it is all the irritation from bike riding while that area toughens up again. Oops. Cranberry pills though... I have those here. Just need to pop some out.

You are a sage and wise woman for keeping pets small and manageable. As to the kitty mess... I'm working on the behavior modification and dietary changes... I can do this!



happy-1 - Wednesday Dec 04, 2019
(Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 6 of 60

10:30 AM and I am on my bike with no procrastination. I am getting the hang of this. I have had coffee. Dog must be evicted while I am on it, my desk was setup "enough" the night before, the fans are on and in place.  Butt is starting to toughen up. Garmin app is open to show me my heart rate while I ride. Old earphones (not noise cancelling but at least noise blocking) are on. News podcast to be played shortly. I even have an aroma therapy lamp going. Peppermint was my choice this morning.

Partially this success is due to my kitty, who woke me up on time for a 9am call. How he knew what time I absolutely had to be up by after a long night (dad tantrums) I do not know, but I am very glad he gently nudged me with his "soft claw" paws and got me going. I had slept through 3 alarms and would have missed the call. It was a little weird. Human behavior from a cat.

Good kitty! He is worth sticking out an "inappropriate elimination" phase. Go team!

Side note: I bought a stainless steel protein shaker and mixed my coffee with it this morning because the Lairds creamer clumps. It is wonderful. Like an Aussie flat white.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/04/2019:
Sounds like a very successful day so far.....the kitty with the soft claw pat......I wish mine had that...he insists on having his foot in my mouth on my nose,cheek, etc repeatedly...but while he attempt the soft paw...it ALWAYS involves sharp claws...he has put holes in most of my clothes....every other cat has had the soft paw thing going on...this one NOPE!!!

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
LOL... You need those little rubber claw tips you super glue onto their claws! They run around with fancy feet! https://www.chewy.com/purrdy-paws-soft-cat-nail-caps-40/dp/153904


Donkey on 12/05/2019:
I love a soft paw wake-up. It's been so long since I've had one of those.

I'll comment on your previous entry as well. It sounds like Wednesday was a much better day than Tuesday...

happy-1 on 12/06/2019:
Aaaaaaw. It's the best right? This morning he came and woke me up at 8am again, then sat on my lap and purred.


Maria7 on 12/05/2019:
Hope you have a good day. Your cat sounds very intelligent!

happy-1 on 12/06/2019:
Possibly smarter than me... He's trying to train me with rewards and penalties.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/05/2019:
Your coffee idea in the shaker sounds tasty....

and you are getting so many things done, go you! so efficient in the AM! i don't get nearly that much done in terms of electronics! :)

happy-1 on 12/06/2019:
You have no idea how much it revolutionized my cup of coffee. Delicious.


legcramps on 12/05/2019:
i love the smell of peppermint

happy-1 on 12/06/2019:
Really perked me up... Peppermint tea is also good.

Having a hard time getting the whole room to smell though!



happy-1 - Tuesday Dec 03, 2019
(Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 5 of 60

9:49pm and I am on the bike as I write this. I know this means it is not cardio... I just need to toughen up my butt for actual bke cardio and build the habit. I like the idea of writing here, which is my release at the same time I ride the bike to build a positive mental association.

I kind of want aero bars to support my arms as I type but that is dumb on a cheap mountain bike.

Yesterday was a marathon and it just kept going when I got home because dad was feisty.

Today I woke up about 8am, and started pre-cleaning for the organizer. Patio scrub and general pickup/dishes. She and I worked on part of the third bedroom and the linen closet. I don't know that we got much done but I do feel better. She comes back tomorrow so we can do the last 6 boxes of mom's papers. 

For dinner I made stuffed peppers, a favorite of dad's... I made 4... That's a little over a pound of ground beef, plus breadcrumbs, rice, and tomato sauce. Probably somewhere between $7-8.50 for the ingredients for 4 servings. There were also mashed potatoes. Fed dad before I left about 6:50... Left the other two in a container on the counter to cool before putting them in the fridge.Went to OA... Came home a little after 9 with bread and dessert... only to find he had eaten the 2 peppers that were for lunch tomorrow. I was pretty horrified... That was more than a day's worth of sodium with the sodas and the mayo in the potatoes... plus that much beef is bad for his heart. He had already eaten a huge tub of homemade chicken soup that had salt in the broth... My shock and horror started a big fight because he was humiliated.

So I am happy to be hiding on the bike and writing here.

OA was awful. I don't understand how these meetings help anyone. It is just people beating themselves up for every little thing they do wrong. My share is that I am taking care of my dad and I can't not buy him treats and bring them home because that is deprivation and abuse... but I can't stay out of his treats and they aren't anything I even like. I got stressed out when it was time to talk to people after... This one lady was trying to sell me on participating and being open... I just got stressed and said straight out this conversation is asking me really uncomfortable. I feel pressured I want out of this conversation now and left. It was rude... but I was just so happy to be gone.

So home, on my bike. Alone. So much for trying to be social and part of the community. Augh.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 12/04/2019:
With OA, sorry it didn't work out how you wanted it to - but, it could just be the people's personalities there - oh well!

Sorry your daddy ate all your food! - better luck next time, huh!? i'd be upset to as i like to know my food is available and not eaten by someone else when i go looking for it!

sometimes the best thing is to be alone a little, on a bike. I do love my bike :)

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
It wasn't the food, it was the scary levels of sodium and cholesterol. We were in the emergency room last sunday... He is impossible to get to go for urgent medical attention, so I will have to watch him and either have to a) beg/wheedle/whine/threaten/yell, b) do nothing and just silently watch hm suffer, or c) call 911 and invoke his wrath.

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
The OA meeting... Yeah personalities, but also how it is setup. There's no way to "incubate" and learn... It's run by volunteers and they only feel right if everyone is doing the exact thing they are.

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
Ditto on the best place to be s alone on a bike... even if it is on a trainer indoors it is still pretty good.


BearCountryGG on 12/04/2019:
YEAH...PEOPLE!!! Nuff said.

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!


Donkey on 12/05/2019:
While it was a negative experience for you, I did find your recap of the OA meeting to be very interesting. Could you find a different OA group?

I really applaud you for saying you weren't comfortable with the conversation and left. Good for you!!!

happy-1 on 12/06/2019:
I dunno if OA is for me. I don't get why they obsess over every bite and thing they ate on a holiday. That's why it's a holiday. There's no concept there of fuel.. like I need to do xyz today so I need more carbs... It's like all eating is bad eating.

happy-1 on 12/06/2019:
"I really applaud you for saying you weren't comfortable with the conversation and left. Good for you!!!"

Really???? That wasn't super mean and cruel?



happy-1 - Monday Dec 02, 2019
(Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 4/60

Again I write from the trainer. The stopwatch is running. 20 min minimum. Getting on it today was easy because I had already been to an 8am yoga class and I am mentally warmed up.

Dad was polite to me yesterday and this morning.It scares me because I've often thought it wouldn't kill him to be nice to me, he has aterminal condition, and maybe he's being polite because he is dying dying.

Also, no unexpected presents from the cat this morning. He might be a little backed up.

I picked up a measuring tape this morning so I can check my measurements. If they are anything like my weigh in yesterday (233.4), I am going to be horrified. I was so frustrated at not being able to find my measuring tape from my mom's ancient sewing box, I got a little upset and had "I want my mom" grief bursts all afternoon and evening.

Today is a doctor's appointment and groceries.

Yesterday I didn't cheat or binge eat although I did have a bowl of soup late night, followed by non caff tea.

56 more days. I can do this.

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/02/2019:
Maybe a good thing that you didn't find the tape.......You will lose it again....it isn't that much in the whole scheme of things.....i still miss my parents too.....think of them every day.....one thing...it's easier to remember the good times after they are gone.....((Hugs))

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
I found the tape!!!

On some level, I just can't believe my mom is really gone. And now that I am dealing with my dad, I am so sorry I thought all the things I thought. I had no idea what she had to do every day of her life.


legcramps on 12/02/2019:
Well done on the trainer!

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
Thank you!!!! so glad you approve!!!! That is big coming from you!!!


Horn_of_plenty on 12/02/2019:
Happy, things keep getting better for you! You did yoga AND the bike...and back on track without a binge. Sounds about right to me :)

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
Riiiiiiight? So glad I have the positive influence of folks here. If you are most like the 5 people you spend the most time with, I am glad to spend my time with you.


Donkey on 12/03/2019:
I agree with all of the sentiments above- you did really well today!

happy-1 on 12/04/2019:
Thank you. Donkeys might be stubborn, clumsy, and all the other things you say... but they are also very hardy with a lot of endurance to carry a load through a tough trail. So I'll try to do more of that and this is a first step.



happy-1 - Sunday Dec 01, 2019
(Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day)
Weight: 216.3

Day 3 of riding trainer at least 20 min a day 

Used my bedtime checklist, did everything on it, colored all the little squares in green. Today I woke up at 7 with alarm today! Had coffee right away!

Then got sidetracked by cold velcro pets who wanted extra cuddles.You wouldn't have been able to resist either.

Also, there was a fly I couldn't catch. It had to be a superhero bionic fly. GMO?

So today, getting on the trainer only took me 6 hours of procrastination, but I am writing this from the trainer, on my laptop, on the new trainer desk. While I ride it in my jammies wearing water sandals. 

I know this is about discipline and mental toughness. Embracing the suck. Eating the frog. Consistency is key.

But waaaaaaah. 

More than I rode yesterday which was zero. But I thought about it all day. So I did nothing but beat myself for not getting up and doing it. 

So today is better.

----

Got dad out for an outing to the dollar store. Just to air our heads... because he's been polite to me for a week and I am less stressed... and I have more bandwidth.

---

The cat is in his bed purring and snoring at the same time. He hasn't pooped inappropriately in days. Joy!

Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 12/01/2019:
Isn't it funny how we ( me too) can spend so much time thinking about, avoiding, finding reasons to not do something when if we had just gone and gotten it done we wouldn't have to think about it again....I do it all of the time and it frustrates me that I am willing to put myself through that.....good job getting that done today!!!

happy-1 on 12/01/2019:
Thanks! I don't know why that was so hard to make myself do.


Donkey on 12/02/2019:
Oh my do I ever hear you on procrastination...

happy-1 on 12/02/2019:
Gaaaaaaah



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