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happy-1 - Thursday May 26, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 249.4

B - Smoothie + the few extra blips at the bottom of the blender so they wouldn't go to "waste". Terrible mistake. 

S1 - Skipped. Asleep

L - Skipped. Asleep.

S2 - Skipped. Asleep.

D - Breakfast muffin, guacamole packet, water

S3 - water, Farmer boys southwest salad

Extra snack - Svelte vanilla protein shake I sneaked into Farmer boys since they don't have any side options that aren't terrible for you.

Home today. I made smoothies at home this morning for everyone and then stepped out to take my 8am call. While I was out, one of the girls must have thought it was "missing something" and stuck in a bananna. I didn't know came back in and poured myself some of what was left when I went to clean it...  I had a bad allergic reaction. I'm not as bad as when I was a kid and I only had a little bit so I didn't have to use an epi pen but I can't take benadryl or any allergy/cold stuff because of medication interactions. I could only take alka seltzer and just hope for the best. Would have been better if I had thought to eat an orange for the vitamin c. As it was all I could do was sit there and just got so tired I called in sick to work and slept the whole day.


Kept my hair appointment tonight and went to Farmer boys after to do homework. She does great cuts but the color always does something funny. Last time it didn't dye the hairline in front so I had roots on the left side of my face... and the protein treatment turned my hair to glue. it stuck together in the back of my head no matter how many times I washed it. It still felt gummy when I went today. This time the hairline was fine but the front part took better than the rest... Not that just stepped out of the salon feeling. For $136+$30 tip... shouldn't I be camera-ready? Her cuts are fantastic though.

Went to Farmer Boys after. Didn't get much homework done but I did get a homework plan together for the weekend. I have two weekends to make miracles happen before my freeze ends on the 5th and I need to make the most of them.

I did check my credit card statements. I am on track for my budget this month. Only over by $40 overall. I think next month I might dye my hair at home. I wish work wasn't so unstable... I am on course... credit score improving, paying down debt... But the company might fold at any minute and I think that's how I eneded up eating that burger last night.


Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/26/2016:
awww, feel better Happy. sorry to hear about the allergic reaction.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/27/2016:
i notice very few grays still in my hair...and i am nervous for when i'll also be spending the $ to dye my hair! it's such a money waster but something we all have to do....it seems.

happy-1 on 05/27/2016:
Nah. Just do a clear gloss so it looks lush and grey. Maybe some purple shampoo so it is silver.

happy-1 - Wednesday May 25, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 249.4

B - breakfast muffin, coffee, 6 creamers, 1/2 scoop of chai mix, twix bar

S1 - Skipped

L - 1 flat bread, 2 tbsp hummus, 1 slice of cheese, a little ham

S2 - 2 greek yogurt mini muffins

D - Farmer burger, fries diet coke.

S3 - 4 chicken strips


Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/25/2016:
you love creamer??? jaja do you want tips for healthier coffee or prefer to do it your way? i don't want to frustrate you! :) because i like having you here!! :)

happy-1 on 05/25/2016:
Sure. My coffee preference is half and half with salt and cardamon, but I pretty much drink whatever is in front of me.

happy-1 on 05/25/2016:
How do you take yours? Guessing coconut is involved somehow

Horn_of_plenty on 05/26/2016:
i love coconut flavor. i used to drink coconut water and recently ordered coconut protein bars. but no coconut in my coffee, haha...

half and half is very heavy & lots of calories (did you want the tips?). so if you can use 2% milk or even whole milk first, instead of half and half, you will save a TON of calories. I'd switch from half and half to whole milk first, or just switch to 2%. I also do NOT like skim milk, which i do agree is really watered down. I think you mentioned that once before - that you tried coffee with skim milk and it was gross? agreed!

salt and cardamom...cool, never tried. why the salt? interesting! and how'd you get hooked on cardamom!? so different!

you're a cool lady, i can tell i'd get along with you, i think if we worked together! jaja

happy-1 on 05/26/2016:
I don't think I ever thought skim milk was gross. I like the half and half over fake creamer and skim or low fat milk because it is fewer sugar grams and turns off the "munchie" cravings. I try to save my carbs for a snack. Plus the fat in it binds with the caffeine and smooths out the bitterness so I don't add sugar and keeps teeth whiter.

I never ever drink instant or decaf coffee. They add tons of chemicals that will kill your kidneys. As bad or worse than soda.

Salt (just a sprinkle) in coffee grounds when it is brewing counteracts bitterness. You put it in the basket with the grounds. This usually cuts out the need for sugar or fake sweetners.

You can also add some crushed eggshell to your grounds if it is handy to clarify the brew.

If you have cardamom pods you can crack them open and stick them in with the grounds. You can also add some cinnamon bark.

If I want to go fancy, I add some chai tea mix which has those in it already with a ton of other stuff as well. It does have sugar and powdered milk, so when I remember and I am home next I'll just make up some tea masala or pick some up at an Indian grocery. The spices have tons of health benefits and turn off hunger. If you were making a proper chai, you'd have the spices in the pot brewing with the tea and then heat the milk on top in a double boil kettle... a bit too fancy for the office and I like it better mixed with coffee anyway.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/26/2016:
also, do you want diet tips based on your foods you list? or do you prefer not? do you want my advice or do you prefer for me to wait till you tell me or ask me?

happy-1 on 05/26/2016:
LOL. Um... I know I eat the wrong things. I am not trying to push hard on that. More on why I eat them. I could have had a cobb salad instead of a burger last night. I had stevia lemonade and protein shakes and a whole cooler of healthy food in the car and could have had that instead of diet soda and chicken strips.

I have been yo-yoing all my life... It started in jr high when I thought I was hideous and enormous and too ugly for anyone to look at (It breaks my heart to look at my photos from then... I thought I was a monster but I was a beautiful, tall, tan, California blonde with flawless skin and big grey eyes). We got a Costco membership and moved to a bad neighborhood and I stopped walking to and from school and I ballooned. I was skinny in college when I had to bike everywhere and had no money for food and lots of friends and beach trips and I have photos of myself from those times and I see this gorgeous leggy girl and I wonder how it was that she could never get a date or anyone interested... so it had to be what's in my head. What's in your head doesn't change unless you work on that... so that's my war to be healthy. Not what I am eating... What is eating me.

My storage unit is chock full of sports and fitness equipment that I have purchased and maybe used twice. My healthy weight for my height is 180. I know how to make super healthy high-protein meals, whether they are meat-based or vegan... never eat an extra calorie or fat gram and really watch it like a hawk. I know how to weigh myself every day and wear a fit bit and hack my body's bio patterns with scientific precision until I get exactly the result I want out of my "rubber bag" (https://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/rubberbag.html). I have done countless gyms, personal trainers, fitness camps, and programs all desperately in search of better health so I can avoid the future my parents are living... where they didn't take care of their bodies and are trapped in these miserable vessels and fighting with each other all the time. They made and continue to make choices everyday that create that situation. Every day above ground is an opportunity to have a positive outlook and make better choices.

In the past, I would make a push to get super healthy and then something would happen (a guy, job, fight with a friend) and I would fall off the wagon and then gain it back with a few extra pounds to boot till I ballooned up to 308. Something would happen and I'd fall into a pit of feeling like the monster and just stop taking care of this horrible troll that nobody loves and kick it while it was down. It is a terrible way to be, terrible to be around, and not a path to a great future.

I am trying to be conscious of what I eat and my general life decisions including how I manage my resources (time, money, relationships, etc.). I feel like up to this point I have been a black hole of consumption just eating everything up around me literally and figuratively till nothing is left and everyone around me is burned out. I am trying to be more mindful about everything... and it seems like when I am more mindful and make a better decision, I am rewarded with weight loss. Like I decided not to go to my ex's at night this past weekend and magically off came 12 ounces. Almost a full pound. Or I decided to not flake out on volunteering for foster care mentoring and stuck by going camping with H and lost 4 and 2 ounces respectively. Or I decided not to buy another gym membership and decided to stock up on camping equipment and try to go camping regularly so that I am outdoors more, less stressed and more mentally healthy overall and maybe see the pretty girl from jr high and college again who was lean, tan and happy.

So maybe asking me what was eating me when I ate something that I shouldn't be eating would be more helpful? What can I do to help you in turn?

happy-1 - Tuesday May 24, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 249.4

B - 3 breakfasts today. Crazy hungry this morning. 1. 3 eggs, 3 turkey sausages. 2. An oatmega bar and an energy drink. 3. A $9!!!!!! cup of hot breakfast from Whole Paycheck breakfast bar, coffee and half and half.

S1 - Skipped

L - Part of fries and a large chilli and a diet coke at Wendy's. I couldn't choke it down when I got his email.

S2 - Packed lunch - beef/sweet potato/green beans, water, part of a donut.

D - Whole bag of spinach salad from costco. Was super hungry.

S3 - 2am snack - breakfast sandwich

 BROKE MY PLATEAU TODAY!!!!! Lost 12 ounces. That was my reward for not going over to my ex's any of the times he has booty called me or planned a date and swapped it for "let's just hang out on my boat" or "let's go for a picnic down by the homeless encampment then go back to my boat."  I haven't heard from him since I told him how angry the booty calls make me because they make me feel like he doesn't value me and he should do something to show appreciation for the woman who  <rant> a laundry list I will not bore you with and just makes me look like an idiot </rant> . Post accident, my fuse is short.


Aaaand he dumped me. Ouch. Final heartbreak.  I guess asking him to show he values me by going kayaking or to see a movie, some kind of bonding activity counts as "really set me off" and we won't ever see eye to eye.

Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 05/24/2016:
He sounds like a Jerk.

happy-1 on 05/24/2016:
I figured it was PTSD because he wasn't like that before he left for Afghanistan, but you and everyone else I know might be right. Need a rebound stat :P. 2 years of loyalty got me nowhere.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/25/2016:
awww, i am so sorry Happy. Men can be very difficult, way more than women, especially with commitment. I am really sorry how difficult it's been with him and i completely understand what you must be going through...

i would have probably had a rant too if i felt your way..

i did rant a little on my sorta-man for not going along with my request to finally hang out on the weekend (after texting THREE years!). he was my physical therapist for around 2 yrs of texting, so, i give him that.

happy-1 on 05/26/2016:
He must be something special for you to be willing to play the long game like that! What's the appeal?

happy-1 - Monday May 23, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 250.2

B - Protein shake

S1 - Bean and cheese burrito with hot sauce

L - 3 eggs, 3 turkey sausages, Honest kids juice box

S2 - 4 cookies

D - Package of Mac n Cheese.

S3 - 

I am a pile of stress and nerves today after seeing the estimator this morning. Decided to go back to my parents place and am working from home and being very productive. I had to deal with insurance company calls so I think I mad the best possible choice. I am pretty sure that I was the target of a scam, so every time I have to talk about it I get super mad.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

cybermom4 on 05/24/2016:
That is very nice you can work from home. :)

happy-1 on 05/24/2016:
Yeah, can't do it too much, but every once in a while it is OK.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/24/2016:
yes, working from home seems to be more of an option these days. my sister did it the week before her wedding.

i can not work from home though - and luckily - because i get VERY distracted :)

happy-1 on 05/25/2016:
I have a hard time with it too. I can't get my brain to settle when I am at home. I always end up cleaning instead.

happy-1 - Sunday May 22, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 250.2

B - 2 blueberry greek muffins, coffee, 4 creamers

S1 - Frozen egg muffin, diet soda

L - 2 cranberry chicken salad cups with crackers, water

S2 - 2 oranges, water

D - Farmer boys cobb salad, diet soda

S3 - 

Ex - None

Slept till 10, then farted around feeling sorry myself due to a fender bender and ex only wanting to get together at 8 on sunday at his place for a date which turned out to be a "picnic on the beach".  I declined, largely because of the car accident and not wanting to drive 1 hr 40 minutes south till I get my car looked at by the insurance adjuster... partially because it was a sunday night at 8pm. And also because it was a "picnic on the beach" which sounds nice but at 8pm in Long Beach in May on a Sunday night means freezing our butts off and tangling with the homeless encampment that migrates down at dusk. So we'd pretty much down a sandwich and have to rush back to his boat. Trouble. I just get so down when he offers up only booty call scenarios. I feel so worthless when that happens it takes me hours to pull myself back together again. 

I digress. The point is it is a time thief and sucks away time I should be spending doing homework. It took me till 4:30 to put on my big girl pants and go out and repack my car to go to Farmer Boys... it as really loaded down with camping equipment I can't take into the house till I spray it down with bug spray, groceries I didn't unload on Friday and stuff I need to return or donate. On the way I did stop of at REI and get a price adjustment on my boots. Very exciting. Now I can go hiking this week and try them out!!!! With any luck this will help with my hip and knee pain on the left side.


Couldn't focus at Farmer Boys. Sunday night crowd is crying babies and annoying students. Heading down to parents.



Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/23/2016:
...i always had fights especially while living with my parents, write more later...how old are you if i may ask??? I am only trying to relate, i'm 33 btw...write more later! i'm so distracted this AM not working well here at work...back to work!!!!!! have a HAPPY day!

happy-1 on 05/23/2016:
I'm 38 :) Not too much older... And I know the feeling.

happy-1 - Friday May 20, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 250.2

Ex1 - Chores, 2 hours

B - 2 peanut butter cups, coffee, half and half

S1 -

L -

S2 -

D -

Ex2 -  

S3 -

Going to start logging physical activity along with my food. I eat a lot because I do a lot, but I think I eat exactly as much as I burn.

Super spacey this morning. Felt ok till I did chores. Then everything just hurt. Listened to 10 am call on the drive and got to work at 10:20.


Came home fri night to a giant fight between my parents. Turned around and went back up to the trailer. Exhausting. 

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/22/2016:
hi Happy! Breakfast sounds very tasty! I would enjoy that as a late breakfast while at work!...close to lunch like 2.5 hours before ...yum!

that's a nice short drive, 20 min! lately, i'm leaving too late for work...and getting there just in the nick of time. feels horrible to always rush. tomorrow i will be getting to work a half hour early because i'm leaving 1hr early....and i worked half hour extra friday....i know i cannot totally take advantage as it's not in my nature...so i'll do the right thing tomorrow! :)

anyways, too much about me...

i hope you feel better, take a rest!

was you it that asked why i have work stress? i think so....

because at my company a lot has changed over the past year (and more so the past 6 months). the previous owner of my company was FIRED! yes, the millionaire was fired and the billionaire who bought his company fired him! and even before firing him, he fired all the top executives who worked closely with him.. so basically all of the original senior managment was fired. and that left all the folks in the company confused you know!? and even confused on WHO exactly was senior management after all this took place! my company is huge, so it just took some shifting of things, and there's still plenty of senior folks - but hardly anyone from the original days of the company if any of this makes sense.

it's weird. and then, around 2 months ago or so (maybe 1 month only?), the original owner's daughters had their last day. so, what was once a sorta family company is pure business oriented now. with lots of changes...

my work stress has decreased though since you asked me about it. because, i was given a raise. so, even though my paycheck will be the same each way, i can now contribute 17% to my 401k instead of 2%. I made it so i won't see a change in my paycheck but my contributions are now good....that's good for my future. it makes me happy to at least have that. I'll be contributing well for at least one more year before i move on hopefully out of the company as my fitness permits, which it should as i'm working hard for my goals to join the NYPD (police!). that's my situation - work stress due to lots of change and the unknown.

OhioRaven on 05/23/2016:
Sorry to hear about your parents.

happy-1 on 05/29/2016:
They won't get a divorce. They just like to grouch at each other endlessly.

happy-1 - Thursday May 19, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Breakfast sausage sandwich, peanut butter cups

S1 - Second breakfast sausage sandwich, coffee, half and half, yogurt tube

L - 2 hot dogs, beans, sauerkraut, diet soda

S2 - Skipped

D - 2 hot dogs, beans, sauerkraut, diet soda, orange

S3 -

I woke up this morning and just wished I could stay in bed... On my way to my car, I stepped off the curb wrong and rolled my right ankle with a big crunch. So I guess I get my wish. I've got a heating pad for my shoulder and ice on my ankle. I do wish I had stocked the fridge here this week. Aaargh. I really need a workspace in the trailer. Should I limp out to my car for coffee from my camping box? Hmmm... 


Made a meal plan and a shopping list today based on my past diary entries. I will save the receipts so I can do a budget from it. A lot of prepared foods, but that's kind of what I need to do right now.


Just heard that one of the contractors at my work who was yanked (and got stiffed on his last paycheck) got one of the jobs I referred him for. I am so glad! He is sole breadwinner and his wife hasn't been feeling well. But being able to do something for somebody who is awesome is the best feeling in the world.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
YES get the coffee~!!!!!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
You were so right. Plus, I discovered I still have organic polish hot dogs, beans and sauerkrut. AND ICE IN THE COOLER. I can't believe the 5 day ice chest really is 5 days for $40.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
glad it was all still fresh! awesome for a day at home, especially the coffee & sauerkraut!!!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
Ok, you inspired me. I put together a starter meal plan based on my normal, non-camping weekend schedule:


I also built a shopping list:


Aaaaand I splurged a little on some Oatmega bars and sampler of your favorite mighty muffins.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/20/2016:
i will take a look at all your links later...also, be careful with the mighty muffins, they are excellent, but they might make you POOP! just be home & have them first..i think.

these muffins are really good. I wouldn't have more than 1 at a time :) enjoy.

I've never heard of Oatmega!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/20/2016:
also, mixed the muffins extra with your fork....needs extra mixing...don't leave any dry parts. let me know how you like them!

happy-1 on 05/20/2016:
I will! I bought them on Jet. A little cheaper than Amazon. Always double-check prices on Jet though! Some items are much higher than they are at other retailers.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/20/2016:
never heard of Jet, thank you!

happy-1 - Wednesday May 18, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Mc Donalds. Don't hate. Egg white mc muffin, hash brown, iced coffee

S1 - 2 oranges, 1 piece of chocolate. 

L - Chicken deli wrap with cheese and mayo, cup of noodles, diet soda

S2 - pretzels, 1 piece of chocolate

D - Farmer boys cobb salad

S3 - Chilli cheese fries. Needed carbs to get my brain to work.

Going back and forth with my mom about buying a new bed frame that might help my dad. Such a chore and extra stress. pragmatic adjustable bed. Finally got her to look at it and get my dad to look at it.  They both agree that it is a good solution for him and are now looking at deals between sellers and warranties.  The end to my neck pain is imminent.

Completely ovewhelmed today and tired. Today is the kind of day that makes me wish I was going home to my guy for dinner and a cuddle. Instead I will be at Farmer Boys till midnight after work doing homework.

Noticed that the hiking boots I bought at REI are on sale this week. Hoping I can get a price adjustment. 

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/18/2016:
yum!? then!?

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
Reasonable eating that my friend H would say is excessive, LOL!

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
I am however looking for something along the lines of "Bodybuilding meal prep for the week at Costco 2016"... If it is in plastic trays and ready to be devoured, I can eat on a schedule

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
Kind of like this maybe... lol. http://bodyspartan.com/bodybuilding-diet-on-a-budget/

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
no...i'm not gonna judge like that!!!!! ;)

I like what you are looking into and i'm going to take a look later on today...i like how it mentions "diet on a budget." Lately, if i do want to save money, i mix a lean cuisine or "Smart Ones" (when they are on sale) with cooked cabbage shredded type they sell in bags (when they are on sale, they can be around $1.25 per bag)...for a filling meal.

anyways, i don't always look for sales...so, i spend FAR TOO MUCH!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
I will have to try that!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
when you talk about wishing & guy stuff, i can relate to all of it because i have a similar situation where what i want and what i get is two different things still...i want him so badly!

happy-1 on 05/19/2016:
I know that one. It's gotten better since I started thinking of him as my "oxytocin dealer" instead of my guy. The biological attachments associated with the bonding hormone oxytocin are right up there with heroin. Apparently you can generate as much or more dopamine from the oxytocin you create as you would from a shot of heroin... So the dopamine fall off is what gets you to want to keep going back for another hit, despite destabilizing effects in your life.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/19/2016:
Good points, Happy...it's def why i do it too...has to be one of the main reasons i reach out in general...and do things my way....when i need the boost...yeah, good point!

happy-1 - Tuesday May 17, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - Bean and cheese burrito, Costco

S1 - En route to work from parents... CVS - Iced coffee dink. Bel Taco - Diet coke and cheese quesedilla. 

L - Ate late to get work out. Made a deli wrap out of the camping leftovers in the new cooler in my car. So worth the $40. Also had a vitamin water, some baked chips and part of a brownie.

S2 - 2 fun size choclates and 2 leftover peanut butter crackers. Plantain chips

D - Farmer Boys for homework. Cheesburger, fries, diet coke

S3 - Midnight pastrami sandwich. Emotional eating.

So much stress today. Got to see what the commute would be like if I gave up the trailer and lived with parents full time... Hell on earth. Too much traffic. Had to pull over twice. Was also crazy hungry so I stopped for second breakfast.  I hadn't made dog food on Sunday so I had to stop homework early last night, drive home an hour, set up the slow cooker, go to bed right away, get up at 2, turn off the slow cooker, get up at 6, setup meal portions of dog food, walk the dog, drive 2.5 hours to work.

Aaack. H is right. I need to give up something. I have:

  • Work stress - Is the company going under?
  • School stress - I'm so behind, I can't ever catch up. This is my last non-medical extension and it ends 6/5
  • Health stress - I need to eat a certaine way and take meds on a schedule... and I am doing better but can't quite seem to nail it.
  • Exercise stress - I need to exercise more but can't quite make the time.
  • Personal business stress - I have a stack of paperwork a mile high I am not getting to.
  • Guy stress - I miss my ex and all he wants to do is booty call me. Guys on eharmony aren't responding really.
  • Friend stress - H&E are in a snarky cat fight and I am in the middle. Listened to it all last week and this weekend and I just cannot hear it one more time.
  • Environmental stress - 2 hoarder houses, no privacy, no real place to get away from it all.


Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2016:
with the health - if you plan your meals more, you can plan when to take meds...

i have a similiar work stress, but it's calmed down completely thankfully!

School - take it class by class, you can do it...it may take longer, but, if you keep working at it, you'll get there!

sorry for Guy stress. I deal with not similar, but still frustrating man problems...

i hope you can get your trailer soon...

<3 iced coffee and coffee drinks!

happy-1 on 05/18/2016:
LOL. Glad to know I am not alone!

What's your work stress? Do you work for a startup too?

With meal-planning it is tough due to lack of fridge space, but the new cooler may help. I need to sit down and make a spreadsheet of meals based on my habits and calc what my weekly food shopping list should be. It takes a lot of organization that I just don't have.

I know what keeps me going back to my ex.. He's *cough* talented and good on paper even if he isn't good to me... What keeps you going back to yours?

I rent the trailer from my friend. Like a really crappy guest house. I want but do not need a camper van.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/18/2016:
with the health - if you plan your meals more, you can plan when to take meds...

i have a similiar work stress, but it's calmed down completely thankfully!

School - take it class by class, you can do it...it may take longer, but, if you keep working at it, you'll get there!

sorry for Guy stress. I deal with not similar, but still frustrating man problems...

i hope you can get your trailer soon...

<3 iced coffee and coffee drinks!

happy-1 - Monday May 16, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.2

B - 3 eggs, oil, margerine, 2 sices toast, coffee, creamer

S1 - Skipped

L - Restaraunt. Too hungry. Yellow curry

S2 - 2 oranges

Dinner - Starbucks at web study, breakfast sandwich, chai latte.

S3 -  Farmer boys, 4 zucchini pieces with ranch

Massive anxiety about work situation. They paid us friday. They have the money to pay us next pay period. We have such good stats, I can't imagine them not pushing.

Camping this weekend was fun. Can't even begin to think about those missing days and what I ate. H my camping buddy says I eat too much and that I am not being realistic about my calories in vs out. All I can think about is whether my company will go under. And a camper van.  I obsessively think about a camper van. There's one on Craigslist for $9k that looks awesome, but I am not there yet. Need to not feel anxious about job situation before I do something like that.

Need a place to study. I need to catch up on my homework.

Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/17/2016:
You are in school also? I always get confused between members here at times...so you live at home with your parents right? and work and go to school? Sounds cheap for $9k!

I am also waiting on the money thing. once I get a raise, if I do, i'll be putting that money straight into my retirement savings.

happy-1 on 05/17/2016:
Make sure you are making your max pretax 401k savings before anything else. I love Suze Orman.

Yeah I work 60 hours a week at a startup and take a portfolio class online. It is how I manage my perfectionism. I pick one class a year and try to stuff all my perfectionism into that so I don't drive my coworkers crazy... but this UX class is for some reason in a big fat mental block I only busted this week. I get these weird mental blocks around certain things and can't think my way through them.

$9k is cheap if you have your 6 months of emergency savings already in place. I have had a lot of work ups and downs the past few years and periods of unemployment. I really like my current job though and I feel like I add value to the team. I hope the company doesn't go under.

puddles on 05/17/2016:
Busy schedule - camping/cottage is the best thing to de-stress.

happy-1 on 05/17/2016:
Right? Super tempted to go alone this weekend.

OhioRaven on 05/17/2016:
Sounds like a good time to start your own business. Find something you like, start small, and improve your situation.

happy-1 on 05/17/2016:
LOL. I am in this mess because I started my own business and it went horribly wrong.

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