For 8/9/21- Monday in the can. I think the Glipizide is making me weirdly tired. I'll have to run experiments. Not enough REM so I missed a lot of stuff on my list. I also unexpectedly spent too much time on ADHD book club because there was a lot of interest in it and the calendar was out of date.Then I couldn't resist working on the notes for Saturday so that they will be up by Wednesday. The irony is the topic for Saturday is time management. HA!!!!
Therapist gave me 5 stars for how I dealt with Ex-ish crankiness yesterday (tired, hungry, needed a nap). Too complicated to go into it here. Just felt good to get 5 stars.
So tired. I'll do habits tomorrow. I did get 10k steps.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
For Saturday 8:8/21...
Glad today is over. The things I am proud of myself for today are that I stuck to my guns and got my steps in. I ate on plan which included a cheat meal. I weathered another drama day with the ex-ish. (He may dump me.) I came straight home and set myself up for Monday. I actually got a refund on something I didn't expect to.
Progress as of today: 83 lbs lost so far, only 74 lbs to go!
Nice on the refund. I ordered a bench for the enclosed catio that was way too big from Walmart.com. Never returned anything to them, nice policy. You can take the item into any Walmart. Done. Also ordered 2 blue LED lights from Amazon for a fish tank lid. The blue makes the colors stunning. Only one bulb worked, tried multiple sockets. They said to keep it & they’ll send 2 more. Cost was $9. In the past, they’ve told me to keep items <$10 & return others. The bulbs came overnight & the replacements are due today.
A refund is always nice :-)
nice job on meeting your goals. def an improvement in your energy!
exish is exish anyways....
For Saturday Aug 8, 2021:
Back to my old tricks. Ran ADHD book club. Actually went out and had some fun today. Met an old friend for a walk in Playa Vista. 10k steps.
Rolled the dice on Shein again for a= cotton shirt for an interview and a rashguard. I have a two piece that fits but I am not toned and uh.... no. I'll end up on a "people of Walmart" Buzzfeed post. I mostly want to go bodyboarding so this appeals. Hopefully a plus size leaves more room for a long torso. If not... it was only $20. Not a returnable item.
Habits
i sorta need to dye my hair too, but i'm waiting. it's just a few grays that come thru, just the roots. this time i'm going to wait a week or two extra...
don't worry about what people think if you wear a two-piece...all bodies wear them on the beach! :)
Rashguards are super hot, that's why you have to keep them wet.Just pull it down and pull a tshirt down over.
Another second post for the same day... forgive me... I needed a post this morning to get my head together. If I go back and edit the previous post, dates change on mu;tiple posts... so making a second habit post. I'll stick to one post again a day soon. Just a little low on energy. Need that intangible boost.
I miss eating pizza, having laughs with friends, and doing stupid stuff.
For Friday 8/6/21:
Try again for the beach tomorrow after ADHD Book Club. I don't know if I am up for the hassle of going for a swim. Maybe just a walk down there in the AM
Habits:
It seems to me that you accomplished quite a bit yesterday, even with the "distractions" which I think accomplished quite a bit. I can't wait to read your reviews on the hDrop.
I'm always proud of you when you mention that you didn't meet your step goal but took a walk - YES!!!!
going to a garden with exish sounds sooo good. wish i could go to the garden with you!
So far my beach goal isn't really going very well. Largely due to not enough quality sleep on top of a sleep quality deficiency. I've gotten as fas as putting on the suit and coverup I put out last night, packing a bag, and putting on sunscreen... and then I was just too tired. About 25 is where people want to go to bed. I'm at 16. Just sitting here and hoping I will feel better in a bit, but probably won't. I still need to go to the grocery store. Just tired. If I put another sensor on today, I won't be able to go to the beach for two weeks. I'll just test, I guess. So tired.
Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!
My medical insurance has limitations. They have zero copay fo the PCPs in their group. But $30 for specialists, again in their group. Don’t think they do anything online. They pass you off to certain online docs if requested, but think it costs a lot.
I've seen commercials for Forward. A very interesting concept in healthcare. That might work for you. The commercial I see is $149 a month for unlimited visits - that is, I'm sure, within the agreement terms. I don't know if that would work for someone as sick as my Husband, but I think if I had a long-term issue, like diabetes, maybe insomnia, that I would use this to get me on track and staying on track. So it might not be forever, but for a while (like a year+).
For Thursday, August 6, 2021...
Extra post for today, but I want to log my habits. I do feel a little better today, although I could really use a couple of days before I try and see the Exish (and not do anything fun and get cranked at, but at least it would be social).
Habits:
I'm glad you posted your habits update; I think that's a good sign of feeling better... And if it helps keep you organized, even the better.
I'll respond to your comments on my diary from yesterday (Thursday, August 5th). :-)
I think it's a chicken egg thing... Do I post habits because I am feeling better or am I feeling better because I am posting habits?
you remind me, i have cheesecake in the freezer tiny portions.
Completely off track Tuesday and Wednesday.. Blood pressure down soI took my fulll Concerta dose to be able to get on track today and maybe go to the beach tomorrow.
Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!
So deeply upset. Saw my GP in person this morning. Went pretty much the way I expected it to… they won’t look at the sleep data I have from my watch for the week before, which would indicate that the one good night of sleep I get a month is REM Rebound, which is my bad luck that it happened on the night of the sleep study. No CPAP prescription. She did refer me to a sleep specialist.
No relief in sight.
Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!
So not at all surprising they’d disregard your numbers. Sucks!
I was wondering if getting a good night's sleep on the night of the sleep study had more to do with being out of your natural environment, which seems to be quite stressful.
For Monday August 2, 20/1
Sleep study results came back. I'll do a longer writeup later, but in a nutshell, mild sleep apnea even though I don't snore. Shocker: Garmin data recorded that night was only a couple of minutes off the sleep study result. With all my apps combined I pretty much had the same data but no expert opinion. GP wants me in her office tomorrow at 8am.
HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed...
ugh.. um
The only one I can say I did was the 10k steps.
Oh and I finally made that keto cheesecake last night. Yum.
Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!
Like I said they prescribed a CPAC (?) for apnea after my friend did that test. She couldn’t adjust to it.
If a CPAP showed a lift in stats, I would force myself to adjust to it.
(It's all about the priorities... and cheesecake can be a huge sanity-saver.)
also, that's interesting your data is the same as the expensive sleep study....
at least you know now it's sleep apnea...that's important to fix / get a breaking machine to help you....
Up with alarms this morning. Crawling back on track. Sleep took a nose dive lst week and I am back to being sleep deprived and sluggish. Coffee. Need coffee. I spent too much time on Sunday going through capsule wardrobes on Pinterest and trying to figure out why I have nothing to wear and feel dumpy all the time. I think It comes down to that I blew through XL and L sizes betweeen 1x and Medium in 2018 and never bought anything in the size I am now. I probably need to buy pants for an interview and work in a size 14/L, Maybe a sweater. Not sure. Or I can focus on losing 10lbs and doing a bunch of yoga to get back into my 12s/mediums. I could swear I bought a couple of jersey blazers for work in 2018 and I can't find them.
Sigh.
Cat was experimenting with jumping up on my lap yesterday while I was in my chair. Surprise!!!! She has a new trick. I shut her in the bathroom last night so I could sleep so I am on her **** list this morning. It didn't improve my REM.
I need to kick myself in the butt, eat, and get out for a walk,
For Sunday 8/1/21 all 10 are a No. But I got to bed an hour earlier.
Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!
The enclosed catio is up and running outside the new upstairs cat room. Built on an elevated deck to reach the window. The cats are climbing onto a table by the window and going outside, but one just took a mighty leap from the floor and jumped out. So cute! He’s the formal feral I worked with 2+ years before bringing inside. He took an instant liking to another male & they play, cuddle & groom each other.
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So is it the lack of REM that makes me feel so tired? Or is it the imbalance between REM and deep sleep?
Five stars on an interpersonal experience - very very good! I think I average around 2.5 on a good day...
At this point I have as many words for tired as eskimos have for snow.
It seems to work out like this...
Enough Total, REM, Deep all the same night the first night... Weirdly tired and overwhelmed at how much of a mess everything is. If I get a second day or more in a row, I feel totally human and in a great mood.
Too much REM (over 1:30-1:40) will make anyone tired and headachey... This is an actual chemical hangover from the body forcing a longer REM cycle in the brain after a period of REM deprivation to keep you from losing your **** and having a breakdown.
Not enough REM is like being in a tunnel with a lot of traffic and noise. Every increment of 10 below 1:20-1:30 is a smaller, tighter, darker, noisier, longer, deeper into the earth tunnel. So 1:20 is like sitting under a freeway overpass too long but it's all day. 0:40, the tunnel under a river in NY to Manhattan during rush hour in summer. 0:10, buried alive. Depending on what my average is over 14 days... This may or may not be as severe. With a minimum average of 1:10-1:15 going between 1:30, 0:40, 1:20 in a 3 day span just feels like "Ok", "Man I could have used another hour of sleep... Why is everything so hard? Why is everyone so aggravating?", "I slept enough, why am I so tired?" It's the combination of 14 days and that day.
Not enough Deep... every 10 minutes of not enough Deep must mean that something in the body didn't get repaired overnight. My count of how many things hurt or if I get headaches, heartburn, think I'm getting sick is higher with every 10 minute increment.
Too much deep seems to coincide with not enough REM. If the body needs a lot of repair, it will force a lot of deep, which displaces the onset of REM. So to get enough REM when the body needs repair, I need a full 8+ hours.
Apps use weighting on averages on different increments, but this is close enough for teasing out if I can drive, do accounting, handle being out in the main area with my dad, see the Exish, go for walks, and be aware of surroundings to be safe (urban environment).
The Garmin Body Battery overall is the best indicator of how I feel on any given day. It uses oxygenation, movement, and HRV along with trends and averages. The messages are easily on track. The trend line is misleading... It doesn't show minor changes as a graphic... It just isn't coded to redraw drop-offs under 15% under an hour... that's super expensive to deliver in a UI and they have huge user base. Whenever I feel suddenly tired, I have to scroll over it with my finger to see the point at which drama started and how much it dropped. If I was burning 2%/hour working, 5% an hour doing chores, then dad got difficult and I dropped 13% in 30 minutes, I'm going to be suddenly wiped no matter how much sleep I got and how much I have left. If the amount didn't drop below 25, I still have enough in the tank to finish my day. What I can do in a day is still determined by the amount of REM, however. I need at least 0:40 to do chores and an hour to do much of anything cognitive. 1:30 and I can plan.
I really want to upgrade to the Garmin with temperature but it is $749. Not yet. Besides, I don't want to throw off my stats by changing devices.
bearcountrygg on 08/10/2021:
Nice that the therapist appreciated how you dealt with things.
horn_of_plenty on 08/10/2021:
Nice job, seems you got a lot done despite not the best sleep. the good thing is it wasn't a wasted day! :)
to empathize with you and donks, i have been oddly extremely tired too, i think it's due just to not sleeping well and some boredom / slow work (at work). i should have brought notes to study...but i'm getting energized to do some things at home, now with work so slow...i leave work wanting to do some things.