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view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Wednesday Nov 07, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

223.3. Still up but I think it is sodium and the 2/3 of a small frozen pizza that is sitting like a rock in my tummy.

Feeling a billion times better today. Not sure if I am more productive... but I feel more together.

This took 5.5h:

  1. Wake up. 
  2. Take meds.
  3. Make and eat meal 1... espresso protein shake... wait for fog to lift.
  4. Make bed.
  5. Gave dog pain meds and vitamins. Changed her bedding. Hormone balancing stuff may be starting to work. She didn't pee last night. 
  6. Showered.
  7. Make meal 2... oatmeal. Realize it won't work because it is steel cut oats and I didn't set them up the night before and they will take time to soften up. Make everyone breakfast instead. Pancakes, sausage, apple cranberry compote. 
  8. Deal with dad's tantrum over me not paying enough attention while I am cooking. Deal with dad's second tantrum because the dining room isn't back together yet... that part of the rug was extra wet and is still drying. Deal with dog's tantrum because I am making pancakes and sausage and it smells good.
  9. Serve parents.
  10. Eat.
  11. Put away 4 sinks of dry dishes.
  12. Wash all the new dishes.
  13. Wipe down all the counters.
  14. Take a 30min break to rest my neck because Legcramps says I'm not being lazy if  do that. Set Bearcountry's timer because I am taking a limited break.
  15. Get inspired to use a no code app platform to "think out loud" about my pricebooking app idea... that I just can't get out of my head to think about other things. Did a little lite research.
  16. Get inspired to install updates to my computer... which will take an hour. Time to get up.
  17. Clean the microwave. (Cleaning the rugs made me realize the kitchen and bathroom need a deep clean too.)
  18. Made lunch... turkey burgers, kale slaw with cranberries and sunflower seeds, sweet potato oven fries.
  19. While lunch cooked in the convection oven... Cleaned the toaster (horrifying).
  20. Packed 6 kale and coleslaw salads (Which is realy only 1 day of veggies if I was eating enough veggies... I don't know if I can actually eat that much kale... But Graindart says if I am only 2.x lbs from the 100lb mark I should power through and achieve it. Which means a whole bag of kale salad, down the hatch.)
  21. Ate lunch.
  22. Washed all the dishes
  23. Put on real clothes.
  24. Wrote DD entry.

Is that a good use of 5.5h?

In other news... no texts from OOMLG. Because he's Out of My League Guy... and not really interested, just lonely. Super fun reminder that I'm not good enough for someone I really liked. As DDP says in his Motivational Monday... Discontent is the foundational block for change.

New candidate popped up yesterday on JustOkCupid. Tall tattooed skinny 40yo who manages a small apartment building, teaches kickboxing, and doesn't drink (a little AA he says, good for him). Seemed to think he'd get rejected because he's not drinking and was in AA. My take on it is that everyone at 40 has something they are trying to reset after... no matter what. Besides... It's not like I have a lot more to offer than he does right now. 

But you know... After I woman up and pay my bills this week, face my GP appt next Thursday, unlock the key to losing 60lbs, am as hot as Jennifer Anniston at 41ish because of my new yoga obsession and dedication to clean eating, release my fabulous pricebooking/nutrition app with the inspiring story of a woman tech CEO who after a neck injury and various health issues used her struggle to come up with an awesome app to help other people in the same chicken/egg battle bust through and achieve inspiring results... And make a billion dollars... and become a foster/adoptive mom... and run tough mudders...

I'll be totally out of OOMLG's league. And tell him... I don't know... you live an hour south of me... You're not a billionaire... Plenty of fish in the sea.

Originally I posted an ASCII art of a middle finger. But I'm trying not to swear and class up my act. So I took it down, gave myself a hug, and replaced it with my birthday bikini pic for Horn of Plenty:

 

 

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/07/2018:
Love you suit......Nice picture!

happy-1 on 11/07/2018:
TY! I think this is the first pic of me in a swimsuit I've been happy with since I was 5.


horn_of_plenty on 11/08/2018:
wowwwwwwwwwwwww you look AWESOME girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! looking GREAT.

the suit fits your body perfectly to the T!

also, your list is VERY detailed ! lol, good job keeping track of EVERYTHING you did!

i tend to want to list everything here i do in a day, never have, ....you beat me to it!

happy-1 on 11/08/2018:
Thanks. Trying to figure out where my time is going and why I'm falling off track... as Graindart pointed out... only 2.1 lbs from a milestone.



happy-1 - Tuesday Nov 06, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

 219.7 yesterday but 223.1 today. Aaargh. But it is probably sodium because my mom took me out for pho last night to say thank you for cleaning the carpets.

Missed GP appt this morning. Wasn’t ready to go first thing AM and just fell off track. As OOMLG says, give yourself a hug and help yourself get back on track. So I am. Rebooked for next thursday. Washed 2 more sinkfuls of dishes. Took a shower, blow dried my hair, put on a nice outfit. and worked on reassembling the house from carpet cleaning.

Breathe. Relax. Unclench. Om. All things can be managed and put back together. 

I should get out of the house for 2h, per OT instructions. Unclog my brain. Proprioceptive input to help my brain focus. Auto-reflex desire is to go to the 99cent store and get a burger but I shouldn’t drive... neck is stiff from carpet cleaning. Bike maybe.

—-

Ended up spending the day reassembling the house from carpet cleaning. Part of it is that I just can’t think when there is clutter... And it was way worse than normal because I moved everything around to flip the rooms and get beds and furniture away from windows so there is just a lot to put in place... But mostly it wS to distract myself from kicking myself for missing the GP appointment. 

Eventually went with my mom to Aldi’s to get out of the house. She drove. I was a good passenger and just kept my eyes closed the whole time. Came home and brain kicked “on”. I think the OT is right. Out of the house first thing AM whether it is productive or on task or not.

 

Also... What is the big deal about Aldi’s? It’s all packaged foods?

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/06/2018:
Nice of your Mom to reward you for all of your hard work!


horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2018:
One thing at a time Ms. Happy...and try not to overdo too much !keep up the great work on your part to living with your parents and helping clean the home!


legcramps on 11/06/2018:
Nice that you cleaned the carpet, and nice that Mom took you out for dinner to say thanks! Good bonding time! Make sure you get enough rest from all that cleaning.

happy-1 on 11/06/2018:
I thought cleaning was active rest?


legcramps on 11/06/2018:
Ah, herein lies the eternal debate. Doesn't matter to me if you're cleaning the floors, doing yoga, or doing some kind of high-intensity exercise. Active is active, and we work all kinds of muscles when we are active, muscles that need time to recover after being worked. If I haven't played ball all winter and then I go out and play two back-to-back games, even though it's not "high-intensity", my legs, my back, my arms - they're gonna be sore the next day because i'm using muscles and movement patterns I haven't used for awhile. In the end, if you're sore, rest! And if you're not - well, then keep on keeping on! :)

happy-1 on 11/06/2018:
Thanks, that makes sense. I feel like if I don’t move or do anything I am wasting minutes I cannot get back... Like if I am not tired enough to sleep, I should be doing something positive.

happy-1 on 11/07/2018:
Thought about it more. I think you're right. And I have to consider anything that works my neck as active right now. Including sitting up.


Horn_of_plenty on 11/07/2018:
I totally agree about active being active :) meaning, cleaning my apt is soooo not a "fun" active, but it's active :)


Donkey on 11/07/2018:
I love Aldi for packaged foods. Some of their fresh produce is good too. Great place to pick up dairy.

happy-1 on 11/07/2018:
Yeah... I wandered through that store and literally thought to myself... wow... I would get a red flag on all of this from the nutritionist on Rise... It''s all inflammatory foods that cause tension headaches. I don't eat any of this stuff any more.

My Aldi purchases were chicken breasts, a pound of raw ginger, a bag of kale salad, and some celery. Also 2 frozen pizza.



happy-1 - Monday Nov 05, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

 I did it. I can’t believe I did it. I cleaned the rugs inthe living room/dining room, hall, and my dad’s office. And I got the rental back on time. And I remembered the receipt for the extra cleaner I bought so I could return it. I did it. OMG I did it. And I am not going to die of exhaustion. And I do not feel a headache coming on. 

I did collapse on a Big Lots couch for about 30 min till I could drive again. OMG.

They have my favorite frozen pizza. I am not buying it. I deserve a reward, but I deserve better than frozen pizza. I deserve bottomless steak. I deserve whiskey. I deserve... A hot boy toy.

Oh look, OOMLG texted me from Houston. I adore him.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/05/2018:
That's a good job to get behind you!........Cleaning carpets has never been a favorite of mine.


Donkey on 11/06/2018:
PROUD OF YOU!!!


horn_of_plenty on 11/06/2018:
nice job cleaning the rugs..sounds like some extra workout on your part :)



happy-1 - Sunday Nov 04, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

Went to storage yesterday to find my filing supplies and also whatever old, smaller clothes will fit me... possibly stuff for my friend’s daughter. I was rewarded with lots of size L clothes! even stuff for interviews! Also a sexy pirate halloween costume I had totally forgotten about and is entirely too cougar for me now. Mostly I was thrilled to find sweats I can wear around the house that aren’t going to fall off. I was so inspired this morning I went to yoga at 9AM and then because I need to stay up for 24h anyway to reset my body clock, I rented a rug doctor. I will either wear myself out and go to bed on time or clean up this awful hoarder parent / my dog peed the carpet while I was a zombie from a neck injury once and for all. I’m also getting the couch away from the window (finally) for earthquake safety. Stupid proud of myself right now.

Also... I found enough furniture sliders at the 99 cent store that I can leave them under the furniture permanently so I can just slide stuff around to vacum.

Dog is exiled to the patio for today. It will be siapers for her from now on. Not sure how that will go.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/05/2018:
Just like Christmas!!!!!


graindart on 11/05/2018:
After reading your entry today, I saw your progress stats. My first thought was to comment here about how close you are to the 100 lb lost mark, only being 2.1 lbs away. In my mind, I was thinking that being that close should be motivation to get serious and drop that next 2.1 lbs quickly to reach that milestone. After that initial thought popped into my head, I realized that I was in the almost same exact spot, only 2.7 lbs away from the 100 lb lost mark. And I really don't feel any extra motivation because of it. I wish I did, but I don't.

Funny how blind we can be at times to our own situation, but think we clearly see what someone else needs to do.

Hope the yoga works out good for you today.

happy-1 on 11/05/2018:
I can’t think about that. If I think about that I will make myself crazy. All I can think about is hitting 218. 1 lb at a time. 100x. Well, 160x... but... I can do that. Every minute of every day is a chance to turn it all around.


horn_of_plenty on 11/05/2018:
sounding very organized, happy!

lately i vaccuum more but still need to wash my bathroom....! badly!


legcramps on 11/05/2018:
Nice! Just like BearCountry said, Christmas!



happy-1 - Sunday Nov 04, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

 Can’t sleep... 2:30 am. BUT it isn’t 3:30am... and that’s a start. 9 am yoga class. I can do this.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 11/04/2018:
Posture works well for neck problems...I have to keep reminding myself to not hang my head...….good luck at yoga!

happy-1 on 11/04/2018:
Super tempted to buy a couple of posture monitors but they are like $120 each.


Donkey on 11/04/2018:
I hate it when I can't sleep. I hope you were able to drift off eventually, and that you have a good day today, whatever it may bring.


horn_of_plenty on 11/05/2018:
i had a "can't sleep" night also, but i just had a banana bc bananas help with sleep (as do some carbs) and sleep came upon me soon after again!



happy-1 - Saturday Nov 03, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

Feeling tons better today. No headaches, pain, food poisoning, or anything. Slept a looooong time though and didn’t wake up till 10. Putting my brain together like a jigsaw puzzle. Waking up late always makes me kind of jumbled and disoriented. Glad I have DD for thinking out loud... and reading posts from others to “catch energy”.

Did not make it to yoga this morning. Slept straight through.

Can’t tell if this is my lizard brain trying to dictate what I should do... Debating canceling my PT session for Tuesday. I am dreading a three day headache after because I am really behind. I have been back on my feet for a month and between a head cold, post-pt 3 day headaches, food poisoning, and my birthday I have gotten absolutely NOTHING done. I also want to cancel the GP appointment and rebook for next week. I should just suck it up and go to both. I can fill the muscle relaxer prescription today and take that as soon as I get home on Tuesday. I should just suck it up and go to the GP appointment and do the labs my insurance gives me free 1x a year so I can tackle anything that is blocking me from being job ready, and have a full set of labs before I see a neurologist to rule out migraines. I am scared of finding out something like I am diabetic or have some weird parasite eating my spine or something. It is irrational but it’s there and makes me want to stay home and go to yoga instead.

Glad I have DD to put it out there and then come back and reread my insanity later, possibly with feedback from objective 3rd parties.

—-

Pulled two bags of clothes out of my “current” stuff in my closet. I feel like I have nothing to wear and that usually means I have too much clutter. 

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/03/2018:
I sure didn't want one...I had already had 2 saddle blocks for childbirth and about 20 years ago a dr told me a vertabre was crumbling...and as it turns out...it is at the exact spot that they had done the saddle blocks...I have a neck brace but haven't used it in years....those too can cause weak neck muscles...but you need to do what you think is best for you......


horn_of_plenty on 11/05/2018:
idk why but long sleep has me feeling so happy, i just feel so strange that so many others don't do htis!?

i had trouble staying asleep last night because i was sleeping so well on the weekend, but then i woke up around 2am, had a banana, relaxed and eventually just went back to sleep anyways!

same here, i have tons of clothes - just need to find them! def clutter on my end too!



happy-1 - Friday Nov 02, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 219.1

219.1 and down a pound... courtesy of food poisoning. Day 3 of anti-inflamatory diet and yoga. Have been out of yoga for 3 days. Feeling a lot better though. Trying a close class tomorrow.

---

Got up and out today. Did errands and veggie run. Also stopped off at Ross and scored the perfect yoga coverup for $15. I am really happy about this because it isn't too hot, is nice and loose, and looks right over a black tank and leggings. Plus it is a nice bright/reflective color for a night walk with my dog. It will also be great for camping or the beach. I would probably like a different color better, but that would be $60.

Speedo Women's Coverup Hoodie Dress, Very Fuchsia, Medium

This really picked me up because I was having a hard day and feeling kind of down. It was definitely a self hug. I miss talking to OOMLG.

Progress as of today: 97.9 lbs lost so far, only 13.1 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/02/2018:
Awww...Feel better.

happy-1 on 11/02/2018:
TY! You are so encouraging!


pinklatte on 11/03/2018:
Hope you're feeling better.

Hot pink and black are a great color combo.

happy-1 on 11/03/2018:
I’m starting to migrate over to that unintentionally. I bought a ton of tall size yoga stuff in black at Old Navy... Then a hot pink athletic long sleeve top... a hot pink columbia sports bra that is God’s gift to women every time I put it on... A hot pink running shirt... But I have bright primary blue sneakers... in women’s size 13 because I have Norwegian feet (good for packing snow for huskies? good bride price?) So I feel cute and then my enormous bright blue feet make me feel self-conscious


Donkey on 11/03/2018:
Love the pink coverup!

Apparently, yoga is quite dangerous. Did you hear about that shooting at a yoga studio in Tallahassee? WTH?

I have friends who warn me about getting the flu or that I should throw away perfectly good lettuce because it *might* be contaminated. Why would I ever do that? An opportunity to drop 10 pounds and miss a week of work is how I look at it. I'll take my chances: Flu, food poisoning, whatever.

happy-1 on 11/03/2018:
Yeah... The yoga shooting is extra scary because there’s no apparent reason the guy picked that as a target. It’s extra random and crazy.

The coverup is awesome. This is my third attempt at a coverup. The oversized blue shirt from H and M is good for summer but wrinkles in my bag. The grey and black Fabletics Wrap skirt is good but makes me feel awkward about my tummy. This is perfect weight, no wrinkles, plenty of coverage, and good for all sports. It is a flattering color even if it wasn’t one I would normally pick.

No thanks on the food poisoning. You can wash suspicious veggies with that wash from Trader Joes or vinegar. Dry them with a salad spinner. Why are there no salad spinner machines?

I have no idea why my coleslaw with yogurt dressing I made went bad overnight in the fridge.


bearcountrygg on 11/03/2018:
DONKEY!!!! HAHA

happy-1 on 11/03/2018:
Yoga is dangerous and food poisoning is a vacation??? I think I’d rather take a vacation.


horn_of_plenty on 11/05/2018:
THAT COVERUP IS CUTE!



happy-1 - Thursday Nov 01, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

224.1... Back to where I was in May except I was able to run around in a bikini without any tummy overhang in the jacuzzi for my birthday! Loved the photos. That's a milestone. To like what I look like in photos.

Hopefully the 4.1lbs will go away just as fast as it arrived (and take a pound or two with it). I am also eating too much and not moving because I have a headache (not like "ooh I don't feel quite right"... like "I was hit in the neck with a cricket bat, then had a bag shoved over my head and twisted till my brain compresses in on itself".) I have to get up and out no matter what I feel like at the moment. It is all about consistency.

Day 3 of current headache. Thinking about changing PTs. I'll give it one more shot on Tuesday. I can't be out of commission for 3 days right now. GP is going to call in a muscle relaxer. She also offered me migraine stuff... but I don't think it's migraines. There's no sound or light sensitivity beyond that I already don't like sound and light. She recommended adding 400mg of riboflavin and another 400mg of magnesium. I'm going to add the Osteo-Biflex for the glucosamine choidrotan (and the alluring 7-day promise of effectivness).

I have my annual physical scheduled for Tuesday and I am super nervous about it. What if I have a bunch of physical problems and I could correct them with more diet and exercise but I get put on some meds and that never happens? It's this weird fear of being "caught and tracked"... that makes absolutely no logical sense whatsoever.. but there it is. Sitting in my lizard brain at the bottom of my skull, all coiled up and making emotional decisions that have nothing whatsoever to do with reality.

It's not feeling well + lizard brain thinking + detoxing from eating off plan + not setting clear goals that impacted my productivity this week. Might try to use the free PDF download from Panda Planner to put myself in order for the week. 

I sent my bikini photo to UDG, so he is all happy to talk to me again. I said if he really wants to help me, keep me udated with current events... I am ashamed to say I haven't read the news for 2 years and I am playing catch up to the rest of the world.

 

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 11/01/2018:
Hope you had a happy birthday.......birthdays usually put pounds on...the one good thing is any weight that goes on fast can go off fast....hope your headache improves tonight.

happy-1 on 11/03/2018:
You are right! Came off fast lol! Catching up on posts and comments this morning! Love your food pics.


horn_of_plenty on 11/02/2018:
Congrats on getting down to a HAPPY WEIGHT, Ms. HAPPY!

I hope this headache leaves you soon!

I wanna see your bikini photo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy-1 on 11/02/2018:
I will post it as soon as I figure out why my phone is freaking out.


Donkey on 11/02/2018:
Happy birthday!!!

I take glucosamine choidrotan (whatever) too, to help me with my back -- as a preventative measure. I have to say, since doing this, I don't have nearly as much hip and knee pain either!

PS I found that it takes more like 4-6 weeks for noticeable improvement, but then again, I buy CVS generic. Just sayin', so that if you don't see instant relief or improvement, that you don't necessarily give up. I still think glucosamine is a very good thing.

happy-1 on 11/03/2018:
Good to know and will do. I make up vitamin pill packs for like 3 mos at a time... so I get to open each one up and shove in the new ones... sigh. But it’s automatic consistency.



happy-1 - Wednesday Oct 31, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Gained 5 lbs in one weekend celebrating my birthday. Picking up the pieces the last 2 days. overnight is too long to be away from my healthy habits... but I had fun. Molly knocked cooking out of the park. There are no restaurants as good as her kitchen. It was also nice to just hang out and have some company. Aw, good friends!

Screwed up my shoulder in yoga, and now one of the studios I was going to on Classpass isn’t fun anymore. My shoulder will heal, mostly I did not enjoy being stared at by the instructor or the receptionist while putting on my shoes (painfully) then having a long drive home to my foam roller... or getting charged an extra $20 because they said I could switch classes but classpass doesn’t work that way.

Starting my streak over due to modifications from PT to do an anti-inflammatory diet. So far it just sounds like more fish and no pasta/bread except once a week.

Setting my Bearcountry timer for 30 minutes and taking a break while I wait for Alleve to kick in, then I am getting up and out there, owning it.

Yoga for me tonight. Happy Halloween to everyone else!

---

Update: Sucked it up and asked for a headache prescription because this one is not as bad as the last one but if each time I go to PT I get a 2-3 day headache I'm going to lose my mind.

—-

Didn’t make it to yoga tonight. Headache was bad enough I couldn’t drive... and thought about having my mom take me to the emergency room..

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

graindart on 10/31/2018:
My birthday was my last slip-up too. Back on track....

happy-1 on 10/31/2018:
Ha ha... Happy birthday! Here's 5lbs...


legcramps on 10/31/2018:
I'm sorry you're not having fun at one of the yoga studios you go to. Good thing there are others around and you don't have to keep going to a place where you are made to feel uncomfortable! Have an awesome yoga session today!

happy-1 on 10/31/2018:
TY! I don't think it is unreasonable for a yoga studio to have a basket of tennis balls and a foam roller somewhere.


Donkey on 11/01/2018:
Setting a Bearcountry timer is a good idea -- I should have done that several times yesterday at work.

happy-1 on 11/01/2018:
I got a bunch of them at the dollar store. Took some nail polish remover and took off the paint, so now I can use a dry erase marker for the task I need to do and what it is counting down... Avoids the "Is that the timer for the chicken or paying bills that just went off" puzzle.


BearCountryGG on 11/01/2018:
Happy Belated Birthday!!!


horn_of_plenty on 11/01/2018:
so i guess your bday was a tasty one, 5 lbs later :)

i agree if you don't like a studio / teachers / environment, it's best to find you you do like!



happy-1 - Thursday Oct 25, 2018
(Change everything every minute. All things thru C)
Weight: 220.0

Streak day 5. Doing my best. PT was not what I expected. He basically rubbed a few spots on my back and then had me do some exercises on a foam roller. I got the distinct feeling that my injury is not exciting enough for him??? Maybe I’m just another fat chick? Or he doesn’t really think he can do anything for me? I dunno. Will do my best in the very perverse way that I absolutely do my best in front of someone I don’t jive well with so they can’t say anything bad about me. I also have a MASSIVE headache. Ugh. All I can think about is how badly I want to go to yoga.

Made parents dinner tonight. Greek chicken with babaghanoush, brown rice, veggies. A lot of dishes... Why do I seem to use so many dishes when I cook?

Also, meal prepped a bunch of oatmeal packets. Starting everyday

At least I can say I ate healthy, accomplished... something. A little hazy right now.

A little sad/bummed tonight and can’t shake it. Best thing to do is to go to bed and then get up early tomorrow. Try again and just keep trying.

Progress as of today: 97 lbs lost so far, only 14 lbs to go!

Donkey on 10/26/2018:
I agree that the best way to handle a sadness is to go to bed and start anew the next day. I hope you have a better day today.


horn_of_plenty on 10/26/2018:
Was this the first PT session.? he doesn't sound like he'll help you if that's how it went on the first round.

yummy babaghanoush ! i'm soooo jealous!

Sorry you are sad, but really nice job cooking a good meal!



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