Day 2 of 60 - Ride trainer for at least 20 min a day
I think I need to simplify the goal for this push to just riding the bike on the trainer for 20 minutes a day. I am so out of condition and physically uncomfortable, that alone is the biggest push I can manage right now.
This time last year I had put my neck back together and toned and trimmed my body to be 2 sizes smaller. I've gained back 13lbs and everything just feels like I am encased in an outer layer of "flubber".
Back was feeling better yesterday... then I picked up the cat from the floor to give him a cuddle and put it out again. Then I slept and when I woke up my whole spine hurt like crazy. Then I twisted around a bit, took an Alleve, and it was better. Then I pulled a bunch of veggies from the bottom drawer of the fridge and it went out again.
Ow. Looing forward to doc visit, see if I herniated a disc.
Dad has been nice to me since Sunday. The cat pooped in his box again... I'm so relaxed and in such a good mood... I don't know what to do with myself... I've just been sitting in my bed all day like a big lump of buttter looking for chalet socks in size sasquatch. Spoiler alert: they don't make them.
We've been dairy-free for a week now. Left everything dairy off the Sams Club order... Let's see what another week of no dairy looks and feels like.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Day 1 of 60 of riding bike 20 min in AM and 5 min before PM snacks
Stopped coughing enough to get out for Thanksgiving yesterday. Overslept till about 12 and found I've stopped coughing and back is stiff but not killing me, so I shrugged off conflict with dad. inertia and depression, and got on the bike for 20 min. The treadmill desk is perfect. I stuck my laptop on top and watched "Eat Yourself Sexy Australia" on Amazon Prime for motivation. Good job me.
Slight hiccup is that the trainer is really loud and I can't hear the laptop over it. I used headphones but still no go. Think I need noise cancelling ones.
Next step today is to get out and walk my dog to build up sleep drive.
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Ate too many cookies and tortilla chips, but did make dad a healthy dinner and I can do it again tomorrow... So one step forward, two steps back.
Now that the house is clean, I am more grateful to be here.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
glad you are using the standing desk/treadmill desk. i will be needing to walk more / move more myself. last two days have been slow or maybe that's just how i feel.
when i was walking to and from the bus to work, i think it added up easily despite all the sitting i was doing at work, it seemed to work for me. we don't know what's good for us until we stop huh!?
why did you need to hear the laptop over the trainer? i'm confused with this one...?
I love how resilient you are and always get back on track even when you stray.
So if you can manage it, I *would* get the better headphones - I think you'll find it necessary to keep up this habit.
I've never heard of this TV show, but I'm intrigued. I MUST get someone to set up the Amazon Prime account on our TV... Someone is having problems remembering his password.
You are resilient too and you are motivating all of us with your recent successes at home and with your dad and all the hard work you've put in has paid off :)
Dad is being nice to me and it is making me eat emorionally. Ate too many carbs last night and too many cookies today. Next I will have a piece of carrot cake.
This morning he politely asked me to make him some coffee, like I'm a human being. Then he gave me everything I needed to do a task on our to do list... and I did it. Then I got home and said I did it and he said that's great.
Also, the cat pooped in his box again today. Multiple times, and only in his box.
What alternate dimension am I in?
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Hugs.
Kitty is a stuffed animal... He had plain chicken and rice with probiotic powder and a little pumpkin.
Day 14 of days on hold...
Still coughing. A lot.
Dad was actually nice and cooperative today. Maybe somehow I got through to him that despite him being a royal pain in the ass... nonstop... I'm not looking to force him to go out onto an ice flow. We woke up, had coffee, and treated each other like human beings all day.
The most shocking part of it all was that when he got the delivery slip from the oxygen company, I saw him put it in the correct file tray all on his own, unprompted. Considering that I have excavated 6 rooms of paper piled to the ceiling, this one small improvement was staggering. It made me feel a little happier and I watched Stephen Colbert's monologue with him. Like human beings.
Also shocking... The cat has steadily pooped in his box (and only in his box) multiple days in a row. I'm so proud of him, my dog gets jealous.
A couple of days ago, I diverted some pro organizer time to the kitchen and took everything apart to keep/toss old pots, pans and dishes. I also put some work into my space and put up pretty contact paper over the old, torn bathroom wall paper, put up real curtains in my bedroom, and got the treadmill desk together.
I woke up this morning to pretty sunlight, a warm puppy on my butt, and a purring kitty. Today when I came home there were clear counters to put things down on and it was easy to feed dad and the pets. I did a ton of work today (laundry, cooking, sams club run, dishes, tidying, etc...) but none of it was as exhausting or burnout-inducing as previous days. I had a little bit of energy leftover tonight to put my feet in an epsom salt bucket and relax a little with a cupcake. That "aaaaah" moment was finally achieved.
I might manage to pull it all together.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
also the epsom salts i havent done in awhile....need to do this also :) thanks for the idea.!!!
Epsom salts are pure joy. Old lady sexy.
Day 13 of days on hold...
Almost over this head cold. I still cough.
In the ER with my dad right now. He's got a nosebleed from stuffing kleenex up his nose that won't stop so we had to come in... and it stopped while we were here. When I brought my mom I was fully engaged and desperate for information. Bringing my dad... I'm just annoyed. One more inconvenience as he dithers around doing everything but what he needs to be doing. We had a huge fight this morning and I am just burned out. I don't feel appreciated or respected.
I want to be home in bed.
I want my mom.
At least I made the effort to eat healthy today and work on my home workout space. Self care. I can pull it all back.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
yes, guinea pigs are quite large compared to a hamster that i own already! i cannot wait!!!!! that's my black friday shopping! :)
There's nothing like an exciting new furbaby to fall in love with.
We're making pretty good progress though. She keeps the energy bright and happy and we don't dissolve into fights when she is here. I'm learning a lot.
I would actually consider staying with him and having a caregiver if we had a plan in place for handling aging issues. It's the "no plan, no destination" thing that is eating me up. It makes everything scarier.
"I am not forgetting your comment a few days ago about being homeless yourself if he has to move somewhere for care" - If he moves somewhere for care it will be really difficult to find somewhere for a 24 year old incontinent dog and an 8+ year old cat with thyroid issues and some potty behaviors to come with me. I have couches I can crash on worst case scenario, but I can't take my pets. I can't put my dog down early... The cat is really awesome and is connecting me emotionally to something good I did for her.
Putting him somewhere else... I don't think I'd like that much. I am looking at http://www.canhr.org/ and it looks like due to weight and health issues, he'd be at a lot of risk for abuse. So I would have to be there every day.
ON HOLD: 60 Day Push: Must ride bike 20 min in AM and for 5 min before eating after dinner.
Day 9 of days delayed on starting this push...
Cough cough. Hack hack. All the coughing scares the pets. It's 1:30 AM and the pets have not settled in yet. Everytime they lay down, I cough and scare them. Then the cat wants more dinner. Maybe this cat needs to go to OA.
I am just getting to bed because today has been a circus with dad. However, this morning when he started in as soon as he heard me moving, I bailed out and got coffee. I had a lovely, productive day of going through mail, handling business, getting a walk in, grabbing groceries, picking up Del Taco for dad, coming home to be in bed at 8pm... then another world war. I would hate to be our neighbors.
There was no getting to bed at that point... so I just had the fight. When a break presented itself, I cleaned up the front porch and the patio, walked my dog, came back in and had the next fight. In between fights I went through more of his papers and sorted them by company till I was burned out. Then I entertained the pets with some training. Dog actually does remember "sit"... I think I've been letting too much slide with her hips and dementia. She did it a couple of times till the cat got the idea, then went to "down" and stayed there and was happy to get a treat whenever the cat did "sit". My dog is all for getting treats when the cat earns them for her. The cat learned sit very quickly so the two of them dispatched a dixie cup of low sodium deli turkey in short order. Once it was gone, the cat would sit, expect the treat, and yowl his disappointment in my face. My big success was setting up a table and a placemat for him to work on... It was much easier to work with him when I didn't strain my back or neck, communicaton was easier when I could tell where his attention was going, and he enjoyed looking me directly in the eye to get his point across.
I think tomorrow night I can add the clicker.
Obstacle 6: Location of Cooler
Trying to manage blood sugar in the AM for exercise seems to require 100 calories of protein and fiber before, and then carbs and fiber after to keep level. The mini electric cooler is awesome, low power draw, and a good solution... but if the cord gets nudged it loses power and food spoils. I can see why it was on deep discount... if it is supposed to go in a car it wouldn't stay cold. I moved the cooler onto the desk hutch positioned next to the bike where I can easily see if the power light is on from anywhere in the room.
Also did a Costco run today so I was able to stock it with seltzer, hard boiled eggs, hummus cups, string cheese, and apple slices. Simple fare, but I'm not making gourmet meals these days... Just survival cooking.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
ahhh, bed by 8pm! lately, all i do is want more and more sleep omg!
and of course tacos are tasty. lol. sorry it's hard lately with your dad. maybe it will pass and get a bit better soon.
my parents buy cases of seltzer at costco too. it helps to get a big container since they are always drank up so quickly.
ON HOLD: 60 Day Push: Must ride bike 20 min in AM and for 5 min before eating after dinner.
Day 8 of days delayed on starting this push...
Conting days delayed instead because yesterday I was coughing too much to eat during the day while I was up moving around and then I was up till 5AM coughing my lungs out last night and too hungry to not eat. Thought I was ready but false start.
I have a million obstacles to all the things I want to do in my life but right now I am just focused on what is between me and the bike tomorrow morning (besides this !@#$%^&* cough).
Obstacle 3 to AM bike ride: Burning too much energy too late at night
I was also up too late till 1am cleaning... Which made me hungrier because of the late night energy burn... Then mental fatigue kept me from setting up the bike to ride it before a snack. I had taken it all apart to move the desk hutch next to the bike and hadn't put it back together yet. We have clocks in the kitchen but not in spots that are easy to see. So I bought 2 waterproof stickup clocks for $1.62 each with shipping on Ebay I can put over the kitchen sink and my bathroom sink. I'm sure I have kitchen timers (not waterproof) I can put there while they are on the slow boat from China.
If you are a fan of "The Good Place", my count has just dropped -1,000,000 and I have contributed to the Earth being rebooted.
Obstacle 4: Dog Guilt
I'm not walking my dog even for short walks and feel too guilty to get on the bike and take care of business in the am or pm. I have so little time left with my dog. How can I not use it to make her life full? I end up not getting on the bike or taking her for a walk. We both lose.
I need to do the same thing with the bike desk here... Remove all obstacles. I have a hook set I can put by the door and hang the leashes and dog walk clothes/hat/shoes... I just need to do it.
Clearing a corner of the yoga table to put it there in the meantime.
Obstacle 5: Random Cat Poop Stresses Me Out
See any earlier post on any and all cat drama. Had the watershed moment last night after the rug was clean that I am perfectly capable of changing this cat's behavior. I got this dog to ride on the handlebars of my mom's wheelchair in the rain for multiple blocks. I can handle some pooping.
Logic... The cat does whatever the dog does as long as my pack leader energy level and behavior is consistent. If I fall off routine, the dog defaults to being a dog, but the cat defaults to being... not a dog. I can't handle non-dog behavior. The cat must be trained to do dog behavior autonomously.
Stop laughing... Here are all the things this cat and dog have learned to do:
So, building on strengths and reinforcing pack behavior. Tonight, the cat is going to learn to sit and roll over. The dog will be very much entertained. It will be easier if my dog remembers. It's a toss up. She might do it a couple of times for a high value treat... like hamburger patty. Poor dementia doggie. All that stuff dissapeared around 15... 9 or so years ago.
Random memory flashback... I used to put packs of peanuts and beer in my dog's backpack and send her around the campsite to deliver goodies.
What should I do for my dog's birthday?
I wonder if the cat would like to go camping?
Do do they make cold weather gear and boots for cats?
Would I have to have a litterbox in the tent?
I miss my mom. I wish she was here to yell at me not to take her cat camping.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Love the cat/dog stories!
I agree with Donkey, take your time with the biking and when it's time to start, you'll know. Be gentle with yourself.
also, lots of food for thought in your entry. you have a lot you have been thinking about..
60 Day Push: Must ride bike 20 min in AM and for 5 min before eating after dinner. Day 1
Woke up nearly human today. I credit all the zinc lozenges, mucinex, a round with my nebulizer yesterday, and evicting the cat and dog from my bedroom while I sleep so they can have heat. I am hiding in my room before I walk out to all the demanding animals and pets to read and comment here.
Restarting my 60 day challenge today.
I am better enough that I feel ok as long as I don't eat, move, talk, or breathe... So that leaves me with small tasks for getting more organized and removing obstacles.
Obstacle 1: Afraid to go on real walks with dog in case I can't get her home.
Found this on Ebay for $15... So I can get my old dog to starbucks and the park again... I have a blue ikea shopping bag to stick her in if things do not go as planned, but it is hard to carry her any distance on just my shoulder so it makes me not want to go all the way to the park anymore.
Obstacle 2: Need a desk to set everything up on so I can do morning routine on the bike.
How lazy am I???? SO LAZY. My theory is if I put everything that is on my nightstand on a table in front of the bike, it will be the path of least resistance from when the alarm goes off to actually waking up. If it isn't easier to stay in bed, maybe I will get off my ass and onto the bike.
I will move the following items to this desk:
I will also move my dad's old desk hutch by the trainer so that I can put the other items I might possibly need while on the bike, but within arm's reach so there are no excuses!!!!!
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Update: Cat pooped the dining room again. He's not yowling to get out of the bathroom. I think he knows he's better off in there right now.
Caught myself spinnng negative after I ran the spot bot. Just put the leash on him and we are a leash with supervision or bathroom kitty again.
He seems to be fine with this. He's on the pillow next to my head on a blanket.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
Next, i hear you in feeling lazy. I am sure you aren't always lazy. I want to say i can empathize with you on feeling that kind of way but i also understand all your obstacles a bit (though i haven't experienced all of them - especially with your dad), but i can understand how it can wear you down. I hope you feel better and can take a breather soon. You aren't lazy all the time at all. So try to see yourself in a better light :)
That bike trainer / wheel holder is awesome. I ended up getting the indoor bike, as you know ;)
interesting idea with the clear envelopes so you can see the papers...
lots of good brainstormed ideas in your entry today :)
Day 6 of bottomless pit of despair
Having a seriously hard time getting motivated to do anything about anything. I just have a whole lot of "give up" in me. Partially it is because I guy I was talking to on JustOKcupid tried to cheer me up with an inappropriate holiday animated gif. If I knew him better... I would have found it funny. Instead it was just creepy and declared him untouchable... Popped my hope bubble.
Spent the day in bed coughing and eating junk food for the 6th day in a row. I'm afraid to step on the scales on Monday. I tried putting on yoga shorts and my middle ballooned out over the top of them like a Macy's Day float.
Slapped myself in the face and put contact paper in one drawer of the kitchen. Changed my sheets and washed all the blanets. Vacuumed the kitchen floor. Made my dad clean up his dishes. Washing my dad's sheets.
Thankfully, even though my dad has the heat in the house cranked up to 80, none of it reaches my bedroom.
Setting my alarm tomorrow. If I'm coughing too much to be in public I will get drive through coffee but I need to leave the house for 2 hours tomorrow and see daylight.
How did I miss that they made a season 5 of "Bosch"?
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
My phone keeps subbing "duck" for "sick". Yes, I hate being a duck, too...
I will have to reset my "push" after this head cold passes. I could be a Nyquil ad.
Cat is unhappy with the disruption in service from his human and let me know by pooping in the bed next to me. He has been exiled to the bathroom where he is yowling and scratching at the door. Why did I get a cat?
Canceled doc appt today. Can't do the drive.
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Cold turned into a cough and I napped for a little bit. I had a dream about my mom. I was little, we were on the couch and she gave me a cuddle. I tried very hard to stay in the dream but as soon as I was aware I was awake and it dissipated.
That makes two hugs and a cuddle from the great beyond. Maybe she saw me having a hard time with her cat.
Progress as of today: 100.7 lbs lost so far, only 56.3 lbs to go!
I do believe that loved ones reach out to us in dreams. This has happened to me with 2 people I've lost, with an occasional revisit.
You have a good cat. He's just a little out of sorts right now.
Try to take one moment at a time - maybe next time do not cancel dr until a little later in the day so maybe you will feel better and not cancel it by that time :) just a suggestion bc I feel you wake up and decide right away it’s not a good day but maybe it can improve as the day and moments continue :)
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Why don't you do less than 20min so it doesn't seem as "all consuming" for you??? there's no rule that is HAS to be 20 min. I find 20 min to be a good length, but you could always make your way up to it starting lower. just a suggestion :)
Even though you have gained 13 lbs, you have still done well and not gone up to your highest. look how far you have come, from your weight chart! THAT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
you are doing great...why'd you decide on dairy free??
20 felt like a good compromise... It leaves room for "oops I forgot that" and "oops this is wrong" so I at least get 5 actual minutes.
Accidental selection on dairy free... Dad had to take multiple antibiotics and they said no dairy for him which meant no dairy for me and it wasn't hard because I hadn't gone to the market in a bit... and dad has been considerably easier to live with (I will not offend your fine sensibilities with a detailed description of why) but I also feel better so I see no reason not to try another week.
Donkey on 12/01/2019:
I would say, pare down your biking goal to 5 minutes -- and that is ONLY IF your back permits this. If your back is hurting, you may want to wait. I'm just saying that when my back is kinked up, getting it unkinked becomes priority #1 in my world. Everything and everyone in this earthly life comes 2nd.
But anyway, 5 minutes is a doable goal. You can do anything for 5 minutes. You can still reap benefits from just those 5 minutes. And I wouldn't worry about building on that goal for a while. That is to say, you can go longer if you want, but the goal is reached after 5 minutes.
I applaud you for dairy free. I'm so conflicted about what to eat lately. I was driving to the store to get wet food for my poor sick kitty and just about threw an internal fit about it all - meat, dairy, bread. I guess carrot sticks are allowed guilt-free.
It's not kinked... it feels... ripped? Like overnight little cells reconnect and then they get torn apart during the day? Like I was ok today till I made dinner. It wasn't that heavy but all the bending and reaching and it hurts again.
I'm tired of sitting on my butt and slacking off. I just want to hit my daily checklist and keep going. Get to the other side of feeling flabby and bloated to being energetic and tight. Get to the other side of not working and be part of the world again. Get to the other side of lonely to being included.