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happy-1 - Tuesday Jun 14, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - taco chips, guac, grilled cheese sandwich

s1 - peanut butter cups, kombucha

L 11am, early - grilled cheese, water

s2, late 3:50pm: vegan protein burrito, cranberry juice

D - salad, lentil soup, croutons, 2 juice boxes, potato chips

S3 - Protein shake, vitamin gummies

Got home from work last night, sat down, and slept where I was sitting for 13 hours.  I barely woke up for my conference call. I was supposed to go down to E3 today, but I am so wiped just from the driving to my parents and going into the office, I can barely move. Working from home today.


Has anyone else noticed that the ambiance at Starbucks has changed?  There is something about it that makes it difficult to be in there for more than 20 minutes in the last couple of months. Like maybe it is in the soundtrack.


I really, really want Starbucks.


Took my friend's sister shopping because her car broke down. 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

supercheeseSara on 06/14/2016:
We have a starbucks at work and its been super super hard to not go in for more than once a day. Usually its just in the morning, but lately we have been wanting to go more and more.

happy-1 on 06/14/2016:
Yeah... like suddenly it is more addictive and yet once I'm there I just want to leave right away.

happy-1 - Monday Jun 13, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - egg muffin, protein shake, coffee w half and half.

S1 - egg muffin, apple slices

S2 - Bagel and cream cheese.

L -  Bagel and cream cheese. protein shake


Manager says they were just happy to hear I wasn't dead on Friday and stuff happens. Yay!


Put together new bed yesterday.  It is awesome. Then I fell over and slept.


Did not text or email my guy yesterday. Day 1. 


I really, really want a great big carne asada burrito. With enchillada sauce. I do not want to pay $14.99 for it downstairs though!


I'm feeling the urge. The urge to buy unnecessary camping equipment. I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.  I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.  I do not need a screen room or a king size air mattress that turns into a couch.


Aw. My guy emailed me to see if I am" feeling better today".

I have $5 that the next question will be: "Are you driving an hour and a half in traffic tonight for a microwaved dinner and to get lucky on my boat where nobody can use the bathroom yet and you have to choose between holding it and sneaking to the public murder bathroom in the middle of the night, then get woken up with 5 min to walk to the harbor showers at 5am to give me back my parking pass, shower, get a kiss goodbye, and leave directly without the coffee I promised I'd make you because you woke me up at 2am and I claimed I couldn't get to sleep for two hours even though I went back to snoring 5 minutes later????"

Must be love.

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Hey Happy....it's so hard not to text! I almost just gave in. thank gosh i didn't. He will only appreciate me more if he sees that I DO HAVE CONTROL and i CAN hold back and I AM IN CONTROL of my own actions.

He's a man that's TOO in control of his actions...part of why i like him so very much actually...i LOVE his personality & character.

anyways, let's help each other out with this Happy. Let's do this together! PLEASE girl! Because I will probably have a much harder time than you i think!

I have a very addictive / compulsive / obsessive side to me. Nothing diagnosed, no. But, i know myself. I get hooked easily. I'm hooked on him. But i like him. I could like him forever....I hope one day to have the opportunity.

But the opportunity is NOT now...so...let's help each other. I have to wait, till after Father's Day Weekend until trying again. I hope he'll text me before then. :-( Probably not. He doesn't text first.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
OMG. I know. All I want is his attention but it will be unsatisfying if I call or text him because he'll just be annoyed and want to get off the phone right away. UGH.

I think I'll just go camping this weekend. Maybe find a funner trip than the one I originally picked. With loads of cute guys. And not tell him... so if he pulls that "sneak into your tent" thing he was talking about last time it will be a stranger with pepper spray, lol.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
Oh geez, looked at the trip... there are lots of fun people but it is 3.5 hours south. Yikes! Might not get into the campsite till 11 pm.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Oh, I am on Day #5. And I'm looking to have at least 12 days of nothing on my end to him. :-) Unless he texts first, which he will NOT. sadly.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
What do you do to deal? I used to Tinder, but clearly not going to do that right now.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Yes, kombucha certainly is an expensive habit....glad you do like it. It sure does work well. I like to drink in mornings like i've written. Lately, i'm even extra addicted to the kombucha which is bad $$$. Also, it's just a bad habit - for me - i'm going to try to take a break from the kombucha soon...and go back to the cheaper habit of hot water with lemon in mornings. maybe with some apple cider vinegar which i do have in my cuppord too...so may as well use...yeah.

will type more...i like the break during the workday...and yes, your bed sounds EXCELLENT for studying!!!!!!!!!!! i love the couch.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
You should start making your own Kombucha! It sounds easy enough. I think I made it by accident whenever I tried to make sun tea and then forgot it on the patio. All that fermentation wasted.


And then make the world's best bbq sauce.


Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
Never tried Tinder...I guess you aren't bc you are sick right?...talk about how i deal more in my next comment, tonight..!!!

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
Tinder is a dating app. When I wasn't "committed" I'd just logon to Tinder and find someone new to talk to while whoever was misbehaving straightened themselves out... or didn't. Now that probably isn't worth the time since I wouldn't go out with anyone I met there unless my guy and I break up. But that leaves me with 0 male attention... rough way to spend a month.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/13/2016:
so yeah, truth is, i am not usually in a major need for "male attention" that often. I think that's maybe why i have a sorta binge-eating problem. I probably do eat to fill some of the void, always and for life since i was 17.

anyhow, yes, i've def heard of tinder. YOu will so laugh who i heard of it from - the guy i like! he joked about it to me.

anyways, i ended my days off tonight & totally texted him. short text. doesn't even need an answer. I didn't ask him any questions. Just said i took a walk. You see, it's summer here. where you are too duh! and summer's short. I'm sorry, but although it may show a sense of lack of strength on my part by texting him, it also shows the persistence that he knows me so well for...ugh. we'll see what he has to say to me if anything, tonight. I hope he's over his crap and i do hope he has missed my messages. of course i can't ask him that. sux.

anyways, back to it...i don't have a strong desire for male attention or "action" haha. i can go a long period without...

longest i went was this year bc i had a lot of stress, got very sick, and then was prepping for my sister's wedding...so had no time even for my own friends let alone seeing any men! so the longest i went, since the age of 25, was this year, 11 months! ugh. of no men. cured since then. lol

anyways, i am very independent and enjoy my own time, that's why i am usually looking for a man who is a bit similar in that way to myself....they're VERY hard to find.

other times, i have had a friend of benefits that lasted years. we'd see each other once a month, at MOST.

usually, at most, it's once a month, but for me ...it's usually only several times a year.......!

unless i were to finally enter some kinda of relatinoship where it's a hair more than that.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
You have not gone a year without male attention if you have been texting him on and off! Attention is just attention... not action... Having a fun flirt, the extra phone calls, the occasional coffee, the gu you always grab the treadmill next to for the happy convo at the gym. The friendship that gives you that little extra spring in your step... Action is... Action.

happy-1 - Sunday Jun 12, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

10:00 AM B - The perfect grilled cheese sandwich. I have achieved mastery. Kombucha.

S1 - 

L - 

S2 -

D - 

S3 - 

Feeling better! I actually heard my alarm this morning, even though I hit snooze a couple of times. How have I not been hearing it for 3 days? It is super loud.

I took a shower, blew out my hair and put on real clothes. I feel human today. I might even put on some makeup. Still coughing, but definitely ok to drive. I can't tell if the coughing is asthma or I actually have a chest cold too.  I might need a fresh inhaler. Ugh. Another doctor visit. I should have asked for one Thursday. I think the kombucha helped with the antibiotics though.

My guy said he'd like to see me Monday when I cancelled Sunday, but probably not going to follow up on that one with all the coughing and hacking. Plus I feel like I've been chasing him for two years and I'm tired. I could really use a couple of mid-week texts to feel special. Maybe some Trader Joe's flowers. It's just so weird... He has a really different approach to the world. He never puts out one extra ounce of effort than what is needed for anything (not just me).  I end up feeling a little undesired and like I just don't matter. I hate game-playing but I wonder what he would do if I didn't text or email this week. How long would it take for him to drop a line?  Would I get a real date to a movie or the art walk instead of "come to my boat"? Might take a while since he knows I'm sick and probably won't put me on his mental calendar for a couple of weeks. A little romance isn't too much to ask for.

Trying to decide whether monitor and laptop stands would make me more productive with homework in the trailer. Maybe a monitor arm.  The thing is, the purchases I have planned for this paycheck is more emergency canned protein to stash for my parents (nothing crazy, just the FEMA-prescribed 30 days worth of canned tuna/chicken etc. for 4 people.) 


Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

puddles on 06/12/2016:
Glad you are feeling better. Let the boyfriend wait. lol

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
IDK but cheese and kombucha really does sound GREAT! you give me ideas! I love the Trilogy kombucha, ever tried it? super low in sugars. you may have it at Target also. It's by Synergy / GT's.

I agree with Fran above. Make him wait girl! See what comes of it.

I'm also knocking my desires down many notches these days for my guy. I am promising MYSELF not to text him for AT LEAST one straight week (started Thursday & might as well go thru this weekend too I realize...if not even MORE time than that). Why? because i know i will not be seeing him anyways. so why give him any texts. why give him any attention!

These men need to do work.

Also, I cannot risk damaging my own self esteem any more than i have. Him ignoring me was enough to test me. I've learned my lesson that with a 45yr old man, i'm going to have to seem a little less eager / less youthful? / less high energy??

idk. (i don't know!) anymore.

Men are just as frustrating as they claim us women to be.

Concentrate on your own health right now. Do the things for your own body. THEN, AFTER, go see him when you are as 100% as can be for you.

Let him wait, because trust me, if anything, he'll miss you attention. particularly texts. i say lay totally low with any contact to him. try to wait..

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/13/2016:
some of my best studying was done in bed / on couch LOL.

happy-1 on 06/13/2016:
OMG... My new adjustable bed will be awesome for studying! LOL. you are in the right position but not tempted to sleep.

happy-1 - Saturday Jun 11, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

Woke up at 1pm. Being sick is over as of 7pm. Just coughing a lot now. Called off seeing my guy tomorrow... Not feeling so great and a little mad that his "cat allergies" turned out to be contagious. I don't exactly have that loving feeling at the moment.

Today I think I ate:

  • protein shake, 2 pieces of toast
  • mini pizza, kombucha
  • green tea, peanut butter cups
  • 2 grilled cheese sandwiches
  • chicken pot pie, water

Definitey a lot of emotional eating


Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/12/2016:
Sorry about the emotional eating. it's been a struggle for me throughout my entire adult life beginning when i was 17. I've gotten much better though, at working through it, by eating more vegetables and things that are filling but less calories. so i do still eat for fullness and overly full, but the calories add up to far less :-) I also don't buy lots of food that is terribly bad - so that when i'm home, it's not possible to reach for too many high cal options!

are you enjoying the kombucha? sounds like it! I think it would taste good after a mini-pizza! good idea! i've laid off the kombucha for the weekend, and i am happy to get back to it Monday morning! My fave brand is Kevita, seems to also be the strongest one in my opinion. This one seriously works. for awhile, i've been trying a new brand, i think it's revive?, anyways, it doesn't work as well...

yeah, i'd be more than pissed at a guy who gets me sick. I'm having a fellow friend over from Canada the weekend after July 4th...July 8th weekend...and he's had to get an xray recently because of being sick! if he get's me sick when he comes in a month...he's dead! lol....i told him he can postpone the trip if he needs to...that i'm free to get together all summer...and September, instead of July....i'll kill him if he's sick!

happy-1 on 06/12/2016:
I'd look up something cool in your area for september and ask if he can change his plans for then. You are such a hot number, no way is he going to reschedule.

I stock some high calorie foods because I am deliberately trying to lose weight slowly. I really don't want extra skin (or surgery to take it off). I am deliberately slowing it down to half a pound or less a week.

The kombucha that was on sale at target is kevita! It is yummy.

I am saving the bottles to organize my fridge. I will peel the labels off and then pour all the dressings and condiments in them so the bottles are uniform and there is less clutter. The bottles are just great!

Still looking for a solution for my camp pantry though. A lot of condiments come in plastic bottles and that's not so great in the sun. I need smaller bottles like half the size of the kombucha bottles to pour stuff into. I keep thinking A1 steak sauce bottles but that is a lot of steak sauce to eat! I need like 15.

happy-1 - Friday Jun 10, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

2:30pm - breakfast muffin, protein shake

Lost power in the trailer and no alarms went off. Because I am sick I slept straight through the day. Accidentally no called/no showed this morning.  

I feel like I am almost over it now and can rejoin the world, except that I am still super snotty and have a splitting headache. 

Ok. maybe not ready to rejoin the world.


I know I'm sick when my guy wants to see me and I have to say no maybe in a couple of days.


Did a target run for a monitor so I can get stuff done.I also hit the frozen foods section. Was super surprised that they have all sorts of super healthy stuff there now. They even had kombucha! I also finally found a lunch bag for my mess kit that lets me have the plate lay flat at the bottom and isn't huge. Yay.

Coming home after I realized I have a huge fever going. I feel like I ran a marathon. I'm also coughing up a storm. Glad I didn't try to drive all the way home if just 4 blocks to Target did me in.


Is is jut me or is there absolutely nothing on Hulu worth watching right now?

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/10/2016:
Does your work care if you don't call in sick? Where i am, they absolutely won't take it...and it could get you in deep doo-doo!

happy-1 on 06/10/2016:
I don't know. Will find out Monday. They knew I was sick yesterday. I hope I am not in too much trouble. We all make mistakes. It's not like I woke up this morning and was like "screw it". I just didn't wake up at all.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/10/2016:
ohhh, and feel better!

maybe you can text that you lost power?

happy-1 on 06/10/2016:
I did already. The trailer is plugged into the house line (legally) but if the switch for the main house turns off, all the switches for outside need to be reset. The batteries in my clocks must have died. I dropped a pillow and muffled my cell phone. I just didn't hear my alarm and was sick and slept through it.

happy-1 on 06/10/2016:
Normally I wake up on my own about 4:30, do my chores, take a shower and go back to bed till my call at 8am. I slept straight through. On and off, I'd say I slept 36 of the last 48 hours.

Horn_of_plenty on 06/11/2016:
wow! your body must have needed the rest!!!

Horn_of_plenty on 06/11/2016:
I am not joining the world today either. staying home. all day. and maybe most of tomorrow also.

happy-1 - Thursday Jun 09, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - Skipped
S1 - Cup of noodles
L - Skipped
S2 - Pastrami on rye with 1 slice of cheese and sauerkraut. juice box.  
D - Potato chips. Peanut butter cups. 2 juice boxes
S3 - Protein shake. last orange. water. ice
S4 - Chips, Salsa

Taking the morning off to lurch around like a zombie. Not strep, but definitely a sucky head cold. I tried to talk in the staff meeting this morning and all that came out was croaks. I don't think it is strep. Maybe laryngitis. My guy had allergies? My butt. He had a cold and gave it to me. 

I re-joined betterhelp.com last night with the Groupon.  First counselor wasn't appropriate. second counselor sounds ok. 

This is all I accomplished today. I am a snot zombie. I can't even take cold medicine because of the drug interactiions.


Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/10/2016:
Dang girlfriend! I hope you feel better soon. OMG...i have a guy coming to stay with me in one month and right now he has some kinda bronchial issues where he was asked to actually get X-rays. I swear, i will not kiss him if he's sick and i may even force him to change his flight to a later date.

It would be totally inappropriate for him to come here & get me sick!!!!!!!!!

so betterhelp, it's online counseling!? sounds interesting...

Were you craving salt today? i see a lot of salty things listed...sometimes i actually crave salt. Sauerkraut is good! Or do you like these foods because you can freeze them / have them on hand and they don't spoil easily?

happy-1 on 06/10/2016:
OMG. Have him reschedule now. Snotty makeout sessions are gross.

Basically that's what survived the cooler this week. I bought a bunch of salads at Trader Joes but they spoiled overnight the first night and am just kind of stuck with what's here yesterday and today. Not feeling well enough to drive.

I bought healthy pastrami because I had sauerkraut already :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/10/2016:
oh, are you enjoying the kombucha?

happy-1 on 06/10/2016:
The kombucha was REALLY good. I drink but don't like soda because I like the bubbles and some flavor but it is too sweet. Kombucha is only slightly sweet and yummy. I think I have a new expensive habit!

happy-1 - Wednesday Jun 08, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - 2 scoops  chai latte mix with coffee concentrate, frozen egg muffin

S1 -  Skipped

L - Kombucha, last of the chicken and rice casserole

S2 -  4 thumbprint cookies, for morale 

D - Chicken soup

S3 - coleslaw, cheese quesedilla with 2 cheese slices

Working from home today. Had a slight sore throat last night. Today I have a fever and a sore throat. Super hoping I didn't catch strep throat from my friend and her kid this weekend :(. I'm ok to work but I don't want to give it to the whole office if I have it and make myself super popular.


Aw, the two guys with newborns I work with both sent me notes to thank me for working from home today. 


Ran out to get throat lozenges and a few other essentials and splurged on chicken soup from el pollo loco. Gotta get rid of this sore throat! Chicken soup cures everything.


Was inspired by MyGiftedLife to sign up again for online therapy. Hopefully the counselor can help me get my homework done.

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Tuesday Jun 07, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

B - 4 sausages, 2 pancakes, a couple of sips of coffee and creamer. Can't seem to make a good cup today.

S1 - Skipped

L - Chicken casserole (round 4, still yummy), Orange, Vitamin Water

S2 - Fun size almond joy, mini cup of cottage cheese, a 1/4 cup of leftover apple crisp. I definietly need to make that again. Vitamin Water

D - In and out Double Double with firies, ketchup, light lemonade

S3 - Kombucha, 1/2 a pastrami sandwich with a slice of cheese

Voted today. Feel the Bern. My guy said "Oh really?  I didn't know you were a communist." Whatever. I hope he fights on.


Having a case f the blahs today. Not hungry, but I feel like eating. Not tired, but I feel like sleeping. Mostly want to get a bunch of movie tickets and tune out for a few hours. 


Went to Walmart and Petco to do errands. Took me 4 hours!!!!!! So much for homework. Starving and kind of out of it so I went to In and Out. Yum. 


Super sore throat starting. How do I not have throat/cough drops when I'm actually sick but I always have them when other people are sick?

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 06/07/2016:
Do you make your breakfast or you buy it?

happy-1 on 06/07/2016:
Made it! Leftovers though... yum! :)

Haven't responded to all your wonderful comments yet... Will dig in soon!

MyGiftedLife on 06/07/2016:
Hi!!! Sounds like you ate very well today!! Good job!! Keep up the work!! I'm tired too -- sleep is important..Let's all try to get enough zzz's tonight.. I'd love to go to the movies too.. Maybe this weekend.. Have a good night, and be good to yourself!! :)

happy-1 - Monday Jun 06, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

Making up a post from yesterday (Monday).

Can't remember what I ate exactly but everything was more or less on track, except for a cake pop and some extra potato c

Did a grocery run so that I have lots of healthy non-restaraunt food in my cooler and returned stuff to pep boys. Was delighted to discover that for $20 you can get a device that pulls the codes from your car before you go to the mechanic. So doing that.


Returned a phone call from a guy in my camping group. He was all flirty and I got the feeling he wanted to more about me than the camping trip next week. Nice guy so I just straight out said, "I find you attractive and your personality appealing too and would have given it a shot a couple of weeks ago, but I just got back together with my ex and I think I should give that till August at least to see what's there. Can we pick this back up after Catalina in September?" Silence. Then he just said "Ok" and hung up. I think I got it horribly wrong... Awkward. Crap. I liked him too. He is a construction manager from Idaho with great backcountry skills and likes to read a lot and explains various economic, political, and historical happenings with a simplicity and detail on a par with NPR. Looks like a degenerate tough guy biker and sounds like he went to Harvard even if he never finished high school. 


Awesome campervan on craigslist in my price range, but the base vehicle isn't a tall one so you can't stand up straight in it. I want a Ford Transit with a tall top for my base vehicle and his is a Chevy Astro. I'm amazed he only marked it up by $800. Incognito http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/cto/5621339090.html


Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Sunday Jun 05, 2016
(Planned meal plan with only 3 meals out a week)
Weight: 247.2

Making up a post from Sunday.

Can't remember what I ate, but it was more or less on track. May have been a couple of extra meals in there, but more or less OK.

Saw my guy on Sunday. Fun discovery that he was a competitive spicy eater and an amateur competitive bodybuilder in his youth. I want to see photos of him when he was young. I bet he was trouble. All those twinkly eyes, muscles, and a uniform. Still has the eyes. He wants to come camping... or at least come to my tent at night. I was like well... we'll see.

Did a little homework. Tried to take dog to vet but we waited 4 hours and they still had 5 people ahead of us, and my dog was getting too upset so I bailed. Will try again on Wednesday. 

Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!

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