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happy-1 - Friday Apr 29, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - Healthy breakfast burrito

S1 - Coffee. Half and half. 1 strip of bacon.

L - Turkey chili, brown rice, 2 pieces of cheese, 2 small guacamole packets, vitamin water

S2 - 7 fake chicken nuggets, bbq sauce, raisin bran, milk

D - 2 chicken legs and part of a breast, apple juice

S3 - 2 slices of fancy white bread from Costco with margerine. Water.

Was super sore this morning... Super tired... and it showed... was walking around at work this morning and had problems standing up fast. People were like... "What's wrong?" I'm like "I went hiking with the Sierra Club and the old people beat me."  I very nearly called in sick this morning. But I got out of bed and went anyway. Need to sleep more before I can drive to the campsite though. Going tomorrow morning. Driving tired is a recipe for trouble. Mom offered to go to Costco for me, but I will go Monday when my paycheck clears. I'm looking forward to next week. Trying to get more coworkers to join me for the Griffith park night hikes.

Looking forward to weighing myself in the morning. I feel lighter/skinnier. Like maybe I broke my 250lb plateau and I will magically be below it... despite how much I ate this week!

... and maybe magically my ex will fall madly in love with me and straighten out and treat me better.

Yeah, right. Good thing he didn't answer his phone today. Why are Friday nights so lonely?


Another day of packing and unpacking the car ritual. All ready to go for my doggie tomorrow. I still need to pack my pack and some dog food for camping in the morning. I got multiple calls from the campers that are already there to bring more beer. They must be having fun. I think I am going to have like a $200 liqour bill in the morning from all the requests.


So my mom went to Costco and I asked her to bring back some cookies I could take to the camping potluck tomorrow... and her medical weightloss diet must be getting to her because she brought back this ENORMOUS $16 tray of cookies from Costco that would have fed 50 people at a church gathering. I immediately made her give me a lift back to Costco (too crampy to drive) to return it... They didn't want to let me because they had closed the membership registers.. but I made them take it back.  No way can I have an enormous tray of cookies around my dad... he would have gone straight through them and blown his weightloss plan.... and I and my mom would have followed.  A small box I could stick in my car of something that wasn't too tempting, sure... but an enormous tray of different kinds of chocolate cookies? OMG. 

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

feardfear on 04/30/2016:
Hey Happy. It's great you're going to your hikes. I love hiking as well.

let us know if you broke your plateau!! good luck!

happy-1 on 04/30/2016:
The Sierra Club conditioning hikes are great because the peer pressure to keep the pack together and keep up really gets you moving and everyone is social and likes other people so there are people to talk to get your mind off how you are going to die and fall over at any minute and before you know it you are all done and back at the bottom of the mountain again.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/30/2016:
good choice to return the cookies :)

I hope you are also feeling better now after a week from the last hike!

Night hikes sound awesome!

happy-1 on 05/01/2016:
Thank you!!! I felt so tacky... But I had to do it.

happy-1 - Thursday Apr 28, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - Healthy breakfast burrito, apple soda.

S1 - Coffee, Half and half

L - Big beef taco meal - MFF + guac packet and salsa packet

S2 - Yogurt raisins, 7 fake chicken nuggets, 2 ketchup packets, a packet of crumb cake mini muffins

D - veggie tray, orange, cheese, ritz bits

S3 - Everything in my fridge.


Feeling a lot better today, despite staying up till 2am last night to file all my overdue weekly progress reports. 3 months worth... (oy vey).  The horrors of ADHD. My mom sat on skype with me so I would focus and actually get it done. It also sounds like some of the work drama is lessening.  There is a ton of beer in the fridge here.  I think the guys blew off some steam last night.

Super cute guy I met on the hike Tues night texted so I gave him a call and we had a nice chat. It was nice to talk to someone who actually shares about their life unlike my ex, with whom everything is a state secret.

Need to figure out cooler situation for this weekend. My cooler is a piece of junk. it is ready to be turned into a swamp cooler compared to the new stuff that is out.... and a couple hundred bucks!!!!! Tired of having food go bad by sunday morning if I bring cold stuff, even if I freeze as much as I can... plus my plan was to get a cooler at costco when I bought food tomorrow, but work drama means I should conserve my cash. That also means that everything I froze to be ice up here will melt because my crap cooler is at my parents hours away.


Afternoon adhd med was missing from pill packet on desk. I hope nobody swiped it and I just forgot. Massive cramps and super hungry all day. Plus I overslept because I was up late and I didn't get a shower.

Griffith park hike tonight. 

Did a real level 2 hike with Sierra club tonight. OMG. I may die. Everything hurts and I cannot stand. My legs are jello. 


Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 04/28/2016:
Good job!

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
Trying!!! Thank you

cybermom4 on 04/29/2016:
Happy 1 that is great!! Don't let the work get you down. It 's just work. Your real life is hiking and exploring life!!

happy-1 on 04/29/2016:
Yes! I will be like Reese Witherspoon in Wild, except I will do Adirondacks, instead of Pacific Crest. I will drop my 72lbs and move like a deer through the woods instead of a whiney water buffalo.

You should have seen the senior citizens just go straight up the mountain goat trail to take the shortcut to the path to the helipad... What was that movie where the aliens live in the pool of a nursing home and all the old people are young again?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/29/2016:
1. what is the apple soda? sounds cool...

2. what's in your breakfast burrito sounds nice by the name of it!

3. salsa's always a nice side!

4. did you enjoy the fake nuggests? sounds not good by the way you say it LOL! i'd call them veggie nuggets? what are they made from! it's so crazy, I've seen things made from both mushroom and even eggplant (some not so tasty! - as I try a lot of things!)

5. veggie tray = AWESOME!

6. I have ADHD too. I once needed to pack for a trip & my best friend actually stayed at my house when I was still living with my parents & she HELPED ME PACK! how nice is that! oh my. my ADHD is not diagnosed, but I know I have it. I get distracted SO EASILY. at least i'm blessed with some brains, which is GREAT! this means that even though i'm constantly distracted, I am able to focus just long enough to meet deadlines and not get into any real troubles basically ever.

7. Right now, I'm procrastinating while at work.

8. I started taking anxiety meds just this year (i'm 33 - and I started the meds around mid September - never before in my life.) anyways, coincidentally, I lost my pills that I was supposed to take for yesterday - but luckily I still have the rest of the bottle...lol.

good luck with the cooler situation!

happy-1 on 04/29/2016:
1. Dry sodas are the best... I hate super sweet stuff and fake sugar substitutes even though I drink them. Sometimes I see the apple dry sodas at the 99 cent store. http://www.drinkhacker.com/2013/09/13/review-dry-sodas/

2. I like the sweet earth burritos. Lots of flax seed. http://www.target.com/p/sweet-earth-protein-lovers-breakfast-burrito-3pk-15oz/-/A-23974695#prodSlot=medium_1_29&term=burritos

3. Yes... but I need to find salsa cups for lunches that don't have corn syrup hiding inside!

4. Yes, I worry about chicken nuggets being full of gross stuff so I buy the fake kind that taste more like chicken than actual chicken... why are they more expensive if they don't have chicken??? http://www.target.com/p/quorn-chik-n-nuggets-10-6-oz/-/A-14793175#prodSlot=medium_1_3&term=quorn

5. Yum! the little cup of ranch dressing doesn't hurt either ;)

6. I know what you mean. I have a terrible time with packing. I want to take everything. I try to keep "sets" pre-packed so I can just assemble and go.

7. Me too. It's been a stressful day.

8. ADHD/anxiety is a wicked combo, I hear. How are you feeling since you started? I started back again around May of last year I think. I have had radical life improvements.

9. Thanks for the good wishes! I am going to see what I can find on craigslist maybe.

happy-1 - Wednesday Apr 27, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

Logging an entry for yesterday... which was kind of a mess.  Lots of drama... Work is having a bit of drama... makes me nervous about job stability although folks who have been here a long time say this happens a couple of times a year. I was uber-pms, which brought fuzzy-headedness and a hard time driving. Took my car to the dealer to ask about paint issues and extended warranties and apparently extended warranty is junk. I need to wash my car... I haven't for like a year. It is just sitting in my brain as this unwashed thing.

Not sure what I ate yesterday. It was mostly ok, whatever it was except that I also went to Wendy's and had a small diet coke (no refills), 4 chicken nuggets, and a jr bacon cheeseburger.

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Tuesday Apr 26, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - 1/2 a pack of veggie nuggets, protein shake

S1 - Coffee, half and half.

L - MFF chicken enchiladas

S2 - fancy organic choc chip cookie packet. not worth the $

D - 1/2 turkey wrap, bag of chips pre-hike. Protein shake post sierra club hike.

S3 - mystery MFF meal... Lost the label.


New mix of ADHD meds is interesting... I feel so much less foggy... but I have no idea where my time goes... I just look up and it's an hour or two gone. Last night when the study group didn't happen at 6pm I did a few things with plans to do work later and then got no work done. Or barely any. Here's what I did last night, based on credit card, text history, and RescueTime

5pm - Hard stop at work. Drove to user group.

6pm - User group was cancelled at 5:30. Had ENORMOUS BURGER.

6:30 - Then I went to 99 cent store for basics. Attracted attention of the homeless lady who is normally outside the store bcause I towed my portable office roller behind me and she wanted to know what I had in there. Had to bail without making a purchase.  Grrr. 

7pm - Went to REI to return extra pack and camel bak for a dry bag that doubles as a bucket and a mini emergency kit and some more cord. Trying out my backpacking setup.

8pm - Repacked car to drive carpool to Griffith park tonight! 

8:30pm - Went to starbucks to work on stuff. Ended up texting my ex that I miss him. I made him a mix tape while he was in Afghanistan and they were playing all the best songs on it. Did manage to figure out minor tech glitch for work.

10 - They kicked us out. Went to Vons to get everything I didn't get at the 99 cent store... WHERE IT COST ME $80!!!!!!!!

11:00pm - Got to mid week crashpad at T's house. Unloaded car. (4 bags... cooler, Linens/laundry, work clothes, portable office). Unpacked. Meant to only take a couple of minutes to throw some band aids in a bag for the hike today but instead was up till 1am assembling a first aid kit.

1:30ish went to bed.

5:30 AM. Hit snooze.

7:30 Woke up... No shower for me today. Also no 2 hours of me time at starbucks for homework and personal business that I desperately need to pull life together. 

8am: Standup meeting with offshore team. I was on mute while I ate breakfast and got dressed.  Had to tell T's parents about work drama so that they know what's going on with me and why I am stressed out on way out door then run off.

8:25am: Left for work.

9:15 - Finished getting dressed in parking lot.

9:30 - Started work

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 04/26/2016:
Wow you do more in one night than I do in an entire week. Gracious! Hope you can pull things together like you want.

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Hugs! Thank you. I feel like I get nothing done and I am constantly falling apart. Trying to get my mtm together... Meals, time, money.

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Or rather I get a lot of busywork done but nothing that is a high priority with actual value that will help me progress towards my goals.

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Or rather I get a lot of busywork done but nothing that is a high priority with actual value that will help me progress towards my goals.

feardfear on 04/27/2016:
Vons is the worst. Talk about overpricing everything.

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
OMG.... I was stunned. I almost went and returned everything. Cash is a little tight right now.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/27/2016:
yeah, I'd never want to buy a "fancy" sugary treat. Only fancy I buy includes protein...like protein cookies & bars. but not regular candy or cookies...

...easy to be tempted though :)

sorry to hear your group was cancelled....you can do this :)

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
I can! I will! I will conquer.

happy-1 - Monday Apr 25, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

That awkward moment when the response from Eharmony customer support to your email that there has to be something wrong with the guys you were matched with because they can't all be that good-looking and successful, and they respond that the system matches you with peers... So that's what success-driven, educated, and family-oriented looks like, but if I want lousy matches I should try Tinder.

I'm framing that.

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/26/2016:
REALLY !? was this really in an email!?


Have a wonderful day, Happy!!

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Yes. It was much more politely written... but there is some support rep out there with a wicked sense of humor and a talent for user retention.

happy-1 - Monday Apr 25, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

That awkward moment when you splurge and decide to down an ENORMOUS bacon avocado cheeseburger at Farmer Boys, and it comes and you realize that Seal and Jay-z's love child is sitting in the next booth so you pace yourself and eat really politely... Then he leaves so you just down it... And top it off with helping yourself with some creamers and jelly packets into your purse... Then you turn to leave and see that an even hotter Adam Levine was sitting at the table on the left and saw THE WHOLE THING.


(What would Fat Amy do?)

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Monday Apr 25, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - 5:30 AM - 2 eggs, olive oil, 2 pc wheat toast, margerine, svelte protein shake on the dive up

S1 - 9:30 AM - Starbucks latte packet 

L -  12:00PM - My Fit Foods chicken nuggets. 3 reeses peanut butter cups, vitamin water.

S2 - 1 packet peanut butter crackers

D - 6pm - 2 packets of chips on the drive over to my study group. Upon finding study group canceled, consumed an enormous bacon and guac farmer boy burger. I rarely indulge, but having a super hot guy staring at me disapprovingly while I consumed it was awkward.

S3 - 

Up at 5AM on my own and in the shower by 5:30. Monday AM ritual of re-packing the car. Only managed to get daypack together for Griffith park and it is super heavy (not sure how heavy... forgot luggage scale at home). A little nervous today because I forgot to put my earthquake supplies back in my car this morning. I also gypped my dog on her walk... ran out of poop pickup bags and had to go back home after the first block.

Last night I had delightful discovery that I managed to store my camelbak resevoir correctly for once and it didn't mildew while in storage. $30 saved!  The next one I buy will be insulated. 

Realized when I was packing last night that I don't have an interview outfit that fits... Everything is enormous and what would fit is in my storage unit somewhere. Augh. I saw perfect interview shoes on clearance at Nordstroms rack, but I have spent too much on outdoor supplies this month ($300) and work clothes for my capsule wardrobe ($120 but not interview appropriate for an accounting company as I am happily employed at a gaming startup) and I need to reign it in. I overbuy when I go to stores... Not like TVs and things I can't afford... but like extra shampoo or cleaning products that really add up.  I end up with big piles of returns that suck away my weekend. 

Stopped off at My Fit Foods this morning to pick up lunches and dinners for 2 days... $40!!!! Seeing if I eat less if I go back to eat those.  I'd cook like that for myself over the weekend but it starts drama with my dad because they are on a medical weightloss program. Still it is better to be at home on the weekends. There is nobody else to change lightbulbs or clean the bathroom.

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/25/2016:
You sound cool and collected. Lots of things on the go for you! whoa.

There's earthquakes often by you???

happy-1 on 04/25/2016:
I'm in Los Angeles, but more often on the road to see my friends in San Jose, Riverside or San Diego. If an earthquake hits I'm probably not going to be home for it. We're earthquake central out here! Best to be prepared.

puddles on 04/25/2016:
You are organized something I lack at times. Have a great day.

happy-1 on 04/25/2016:
Ha on the organization. My ex was super organized. His RV, car, and boat are neat as a pin Navy-style. I am not organized at all. It is a constant feeling of chaos. I split time between two hoarder houses and feel the chaos constantly creeping in. I don't think I am a hoarder, but visiting my storage unit this weekend... a case could be made! Time to clean that action out!

What are your big organizational challenges?

happy-1 - Sunday Apr 24, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

Slept in on purpose. Lost .8 of a pound. Scale is moving in the right direction. I will break my plateau. I will I will I will.

Meds 8am

B 9:30AM - 3 eggs, olive oil, toast, margerine, stevia lemonade

S1 12:00PM - chicken/pasta veg thing from freezer

L - orange, 2 cheese wheels, bag of apple slices

S2 - 2 mini bags of chips, breakfast muffin, seltzer, brownie bite, apple juice

D - pasta, 2 cheese wheels, frozen dinner, margerine, slice of wheat toast, snap peas

DS - stevia lemonade

Sunday funday!  Dog puked up the Comfortis. Guess it is going to be a lot of fleas this year!

Today is my first day on the new mix. I feel less foggy, but it took me a while to get breakfast together. I tried to do 5 different things at once... Clean the bathroom, make breakfast, vacuum, get my mom to come out and keep me company... Figure out what hadn't died in the fridge that I could make breakfast out of... Need to focus! One thing at a time!  All got completed by 10AM though.

Yesterday and today I was supposed to go to fun things off meetup... a coding meetup, emergency preparedness thing, and a hike, but didn't do any of it.  I am feeling really anxious about my job situation... so I decided to just do personal paperwork and put things together at my parents place to take to storage... Things to make me feel more together and poised for flight if my startup does go under. I hope not. If the rule for user retention on a site is 90-9-1, we have 90-38-?. (I should look up that last one to complete the rule. Note to self.)

My litle at home projects: 

  1. Go through papers and sort them out so I can do them at starbucks from 7am to 9am every mornng. That is supposed to be my "me" time for personal business or homework.
  2. Go through my clothes and pull out what is too big for me now (I have lost 60lbs... everything shows my underwear). Of what fits me:
    - Create a capsule wardrobe for work that does not take up more than 1 suitcase. 
    - Create a capsule wardrobe for weekend/camping that does not take up more than 1 bag
    - Find 1 good daytime and 1 nightime dress
  3. Create a portable kitchen for camping / going to a friends house with spices, oils and other minis of pantry essentials.
  4. Repack camping stuff for next weekend. 
  5. Repack hiking bag for Sierra club conditioning hikes.
  6. Make a list of what I need to get out of storage.
  7. Actually get to storage by 7pm...
  8. Catchup on work work
  9. Homework for my UX class (So behind)

Why is it so freaking hard to pack for a camping trip???? I spend more time packing to go camping than actually camping.


Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/25/2016:
sorry to hear about your pup! good idea on the stevia lemonade! I like to add stevia to my flavored seltzer for extra sweetness :)

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
Yum! I will try that.

OhioRaven on 04/25/2016:
Have a good trip, Hap.

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
Thank you!

happy-1 - Saturday Apr 23, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 252.5

Still crazy hungry all day long.

Breakfast: 6:30 Sausage egg muffin, 2 yogurt tubes, 1 orange, coffee + creamer

Snack: Pizza slice at sams club, coke zero

Lunch: burrito bowl at taco place.

Snack: plantain chips, apple slices, 2 cheese wheels

snack: chips, salsa 

Dinner: chicken thighs


Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only 72.5 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 04/24/2016:
Have a good day, Hap.

happy-1 on 04/24/2016:
Thank you! Knock em dead tiger!

Donkey on 04/24/2016:
Dropping by to welcome you, albeit rather late.

happy-1 on 04/24/2016:
Aaaaw! Thank you! Glad to be here. This kind of journal and community gets me gradually more on track.

happy-1 - Friday Apr 22, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 252.5

Woke up at 6am on time and then kept hitting the snooze button. It is the worst habit. If I got up at 5:30 every day I could have the life I want. Instead I always want two more hours and get up at 7:30. Years are slipping away. I need an electrostim alarm. Or a boyfriend. My ex got up at 4. That was too early.  

I hate that I do everything last minute. I pulled together trash, laundry, and my cooler to go home. Discovered all my clean underwear was in the car, so I did makeup on the drive, got dressed in the parking lot at work, and did hair in the bathroom at work before going to my desk. I never feel totally put together. Like I am unfinished and not ready to face the day.

B - Sausage egg muffin, Cranberry juice, 2 oranges

S1 - 2 baby bel cheese wheels, instant latte mix

L - Coke Zero, frozen shepherds pie from trader joes, yogurt tube

Ex texted that he has to go drink beer this weekend and can't see me saturday. He wanted me to come to his floating love shack on Sunday. Imight have an event with the foster kids, and he isn't committed so I'm not getting within a mile of his floating love shack. There we have it. I feel munchy.

S2 - Cheese wheel, apple baggie.  Need to buy more of those. 

When did I eat two mini reeses cups???

s3 - chicken burrito, protein shake

D- bbq ranch chopped salad, pork roast

Progress as of today: 55.5 lbs lost so far, only 72.5 lbs to go!

puddles on 04/22/2016:
I use to do the same thing with my alarm clock and never got out of the habit now that I do not work I am up at 5 or 6 in the morning.... does that make any sense with no alarm clock.... lol Having a boyfriend will not change things it did not for me.... lol Have a great evening.

happy-1 on 04/22/2016:
Clearly he was slacking off!

OhioRaven on 04/22/2016:
Where'd you get the McMuffin this morning ?

happy-1 on 04/22/2016:
My freezer! I bought a big box of the lowfat Jimmy Dean ones last week. I wanted a fast, easy substitute for McDonalds for my "No restaurants for 90 days" efforts. Will work on no processed or prepackaged foods after that.

Link to my breakfast: http://www.samsclub.com/sams/jimmy-dean-delights-turkey-sausage-muffin-sandwiches-12-ct/133451.ip

grannyannie on 04/22/2016:
I'm married to a morning person and slowly I've (sort of) become one as well.

happy-1 on 04/22/2016:
Ah ha! Proof that my plan could work... Especially if he makes coffee.

OhioRaven on 04/22/2016:
Puddy, if I was your boyfriend you'd be up at 4:30.

happy-1 on 04/22/2016:
slightly better than 4. but not by much.

OhioRaven on 04/22/2016:
Wow ! Great job on the substitution.

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
Yeah... I used to go through McDonalds drive thru for breakfast every morning for an egg mcmuffin combo with a sugar free iced coffee and a parfait (no kitchen right now). Now I get Svelte Capuccino protein shakes, the low fat egg and sausage muffins from Jimmy Dean, and the tubes of yogurt at Sam's Club. It is $3.25 cheaper per meal. Probably slightly more protein. Definitely less sugar.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/23/2016:
hey...if there's things you want to change - YOU have the POWER to change them! :) My advice is to only make one small change a time. Sometimes I start to really RUSH in my driving to work, that's when it clicks in my head that I have to go back to waking up earlier...

I binged last night due to emotional reasons. so not worth it...I hadn't done it that badly in probably a half year at least. you can do it too.

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
Hugs. You are allowed to eat a little extra. "Makes you strong like bull!" like my mom would say.

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