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happy-1 - Friday Jan 12, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

There are few things better in life than a warm blanket and a big furry dog to share it with on a cold morning. Woke up to find mine in prime massage position... butt in armpit, across width of bed, ears right under my fingers... so I gave her a thorough massage. I'm always in a good mood when I beat my alarm awake.

Plan for today is to go to Starbucks before The Circus wakes up, then on to the coworking space. Have call with online shrink, then later in the afternoon I have a meeting with my virtual assistant to get me rolling again.

So yes I ate a ton of pizza yesterday, way more than was good for me. Yes I missed my bootcamp workout last night ( was posting Pete's stuff, then when I put on my kneepads my dog lost her furry mind and we left late.., i need to sneak into my workout clothes where she can't see from now on... so we left late, then I was blocked in) but today I am up on time and it is a beautiful day. ---- Got into a kerfuffle with my mom because I discovered she ate the lunches I packed for today and this weekend (and left me all the dishes and trash to clean up). All I said was hey, can you please leave the ones in my lunchbag alone, the ones on the shelf above it are the same just not packed for my cooler and I am really watching my cash so I meed to not eat out... if I have to repack or go shopping, i end up canceling or buying something more expensive on the road. World War 3. I think she felt bad and was overcompensating.

Bearcountry's post on hidden eating and snacks makes me think I semi-created this by hiding the stuff I know they can't resist, but then putting little baggies of it in my packed lunchbag. So yes, the little cup of yogurt is the same as the big costco one above it, but there is a 1/4 cup of paleo granola in with it... so probably that tempted her. Even though it is just granola... and the mini hummus cup packed for snack is the same as what is in the bowl I made to go with falaffel tonight, but the packet of sunflower seeds and jerky with it were from my last camping trip and not hidden, but I had them in the bear barrels and they can't get those open. Plus if you are old and your back hurts it's just so nice to open something delicious without finding everything yourself. I'd do up trays for my mom but she hates when I do that.

I would feel really bad putting a bear barrel in my parents fridge though.

----- Coworking space screwed up conference room booking. Ugh. Should have double checked yesterday. So freaking tired. Regrouping.

----- Up: 6:30am S: skipped B: 8:30 - ham and cheese sandwich, half n half, coffee S: coffee, half and half L: 1:30 - chicken thigh, potato, butter. S: 2:30 greek yogurt, Paleo granola, blueberries D: S:

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/12/2018:
Funny how both of our posts today are about sneaking....

happy-1 on 01/12/2018:
Yeah. My sneaking backfired today though.

BearCountryGG on 01/12/2018:
In a previous post you mentioned having trouble sleeping...I have always found that a evening schedule that leads to bedtime works well....with kids it was 1 hour before bed was bath, pjs and teeth...then 30 min before bed was a sheet on the floor and making collages with magazines, catalogs, string...glue, scissors, etc...then a 5 min bedtime warning..and no problems with them going to bed or sleep....for me...it can be a bath, pjs, teeth, reading for half an hour and going to bed at a specific time...that time is so important for me...I usually drop off immediately...if not I have a little trick I do...and that is to alphabetically name ( in my head)...family members( every one I have ever heard of)...I rarely get past the letter C.

happy-1 on 01/12/2018:
Yeah, I have a strict bedtime routine... An actual checklist in a 8x11 frame that I check off with an erasable pen. And alarms for when I need to start. The thing about ADHD is that 10pm is when your brain naturally wants to wake up. Plus I am one of those people whose circadian rhythm is 26-28 hours long... that means night 1, I fall asleep at 10, then night 2, I fall asleep at 12 or 1, then next night 2 or 3am... I basically cycle through till I have one night I don't sleep at all and then it is back to night 1 with 10pm asleep.

It really screws with me. When I am working I have to be up at 6am every day. When I'm not working if I am not up at 6am every day I slip into depression and fall apart.

BearCountryGG on 01/12/2018:
How old are your parents if you don't mind me asking.

happy-1 on 01/14/2018:
68, 73 or so

happy-1 on 01/14/2018:
Add about 20 years to that for biological age because they are 300 and 400 lbs, plus neither of them have done any kind of physical exercise aince they were in their 30s

happy-1 - Thursday Jan 11, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Didn't weigh in... forgot. Kind of snuck out this morning to avoid The Circus and find coffee. My dad had piled a bunch of cardboard outside his door... fire hazard... so I took it out to the recycling bin. Somewhere in there was a thing he had ordered off the Internet for his car. I got it back out again but he freaked out, my mom is having anxiety attacks, and I am out of eggs so I have nothing to feed them... They have lots of frozen breakfast so don't worry about them... just nothing yummy enough to satisfy and head off The Circus. I'll just hang at Starbucks, get my **** together, and then double back to stealthily change clothes, grab my dog, and go to bootcamp. I'll hit Costco on the way back so I can feed The Circus tomorrow. Sucks I woke up so late. I took a sleep aid and went to bed at 7:30 but I don't think I fell asleep till 3am.


Do I know how bad half and half is for me? Yes. Can I stand my coffee any other way? I find that Via instant coffee mixed into rice or coconut milk is tolerable. Do they have that option at Starbucks? No.


2am, couldn't sleep - 2 paleo muffins with butter

Woke: 10

S: missed

B: missed

S: missed

L: 12- coffee, half and half, mini pepperoni pizza

S: 1:30, but kind of taking little bits at a time while I chill at starbucks and post Pete's stuff. A brownie and coffee with half and half. I seriously needed the chocolate pick me up.

D: 7:45 - slice of Costco pizza. Light lemonade, part of a chocolate frozen yogurt

s: rest of my frozen yogurt

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/11/2018:
Wow...awake for 7 or 8 hours after a sleep aid!!! That must have been difficult. Hope you sleep better tonight.

happy-1 on 01/11/2018:
Yeah, the anxiety that comes from just laying there is worse. Too much time to think is a bad thing for me. I just spin out and go hopeless.

happy-1 - Wednesday Jan 10, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4


Woke up: 10. Actually woke up at 7:30 but it was really cold so I went back to bed to warm up and ended up falling asleep again.

Really frustrated this morning and irritable/cranky. Journaling here to pull it back together and make sense of what I need to do today to pull it together. 

  1. Too much distraction/clutter/noise in my environment. I am in adhd overwhelm and wearing earplugs to block out noise.
  2. I need to streamline my mornings. 
    - Thermostat on a timer
    - AM radio on better sounding sound system / better way to get news.
    - No mess where I can see it when I wake up
    - Coffee on a timer
    - Bathroom picked up
    - Kitchen picked up
    - Breakfast ready to stick in oven
    - Place settings down for breakfast night before
    - Dog walking clothes by front door
    - Car organized and vacuumed
    - To do list for day
  3. Annoyed that the house is a mess. And I am the one that did it. Pulled stuff apart and didn't put it back plus my closet bar fell down again. I need a bar holder to keep the tension rod in place. I keep avoiding all the work that goes into putting the wood furniture onto foam blocks so I can clean the carpets.
  4. And LONELY. SO LONELY. Church group last night kind of sucked. It was 40+ singles and all women. Not exactly a fun crowd. I do dig the 2 guys leading it. They seem like a fun hang.
  5. Could use some TLC. Ex is all the way in SD. 2.5 hours away. Driving that far is expensive, puts miles on my car, makes my neck hurt. I really wish I had a guy in the local area to do fun stuff with. Not even a serious thing, just some company.
  6. I crave pizza every day and every hour of my life.


3:19pm - Have tackled making my bed, cleaning out the front door area after the storm, hosing off my cooler and taken the rug cleaner to a couple of mystery spots on the rug in the living room not by the wood furniture.

There's a new episode of Kevin Saves the World. That show always puts me in a better mood!


S: Skipped

B: Skipped

S: Skipped

L: 12pm - egg bake, overnight oats, coffee, half and half.

S: 3pm - Chicken thigh, baked potato

D: 6pm - 3 mini pizzas, 7 chicken wings, 2 stevia cokes


Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

Donkey on 01/10/2018:
I completely agree that if you plan ahead the night before, I can almost guarantee that your day will start off better than had you not.

Loneliness sucks. I applaud you for trying. A church group is a good idea...just not balanced in genders. Keep trying (((hugs)))

happy-1 on 01/10/2018:
Yeah, I figure I will church hop a few weeks see if anything fits. I don't need dudes I want to date, just a gender balance to reduce the crazy factor of a bunch of women. Like just some company for bowling would be awesome.

happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 09, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

235. Down from 240. Poof! Magic. Only a few ounces from my plateay weight. Need to stop skipping meals, setup coffee the night before, and wake up on time, get a jump on The Circus. Give them breakfast before they can start bumbling around trying to feed themselves. Need to get a period tracker app that tracks moods and gives you an alert when you are going to bite peoples heads off.

--- S: skipped B: 9:45 greek yogurt with 3 servings fruit/seed granola ... how is 2tbsp a serving???? S: 1pm coffee, half and half, 2 zucchini muffins with smart balance, orange L: skipped S: skipped D: 5pm 2 crispy roasted chicken thighs, rabe, mixed peas and carrots. S: 10pm apple and peanut butter

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/09/2018:
Yes planning and routine is the way to get thru a plateau indeed !

horn_of_plenty on 01/09/2018:
lol keep up the good work with your 'rents...you are doing GREAT! :)

happy-1 on 01/09/2018:
If prepared meals doesn't work there's always a cattle prod.

graindart on 01/09/2018:
Don't you love the "serving size" that some of these products list? Years ago I was on a diet and decided I really wanted a small bag of chips while at the grocery store. Looked at the label and in big print it noted 170 calories. That was in my budget, so I got in line with a smile on my face. Then I remembered I forgot to check the serving size. It was one of the small bags that you hold in one hand, so I figured it obviously was 1 serving. Couldn't believe it when I looked at the label and it stated there were 3 servings in that small bag. Like anyone buying that small of a bag is going to stop after eating 1/3 of it.

The only serving size that has ever surprised me the opposite way was a 2 lb bag of asparagus that I bought a week ago. It actually listed serving size as 1 lb. And I did eat close to half of the bag of asparagus myself during dinner......

happy-1 on 01/09/2018:
I can easily down a pound of asparagus if I grill it with lemon and salt

Donkey on 01/09/2018:
Setting up the coffee pot for the next day is *essential* to my well-being :-) Ain't nothing happening until that coffee is made.

happy-1 on 01/09/2018:
Yeah. I am thinking about a programmable one that I put next to my bed so it wakes me up...

happy-1 - Tuesday Jan 09, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Catch-up post for Tuesday. --- 235.6

3am couldn't sleep - bolero roll with butter S: 11am - orange, coffee, half and half B: 12pm - 2 eggs with a little sausage, veg, milk, cheese, oil. 1 paleo pancake muffin S: skipped L: skipped - should have eaten but got too hungry. Spaced and couldn't organize it. S: 4pm - chicken thigh, small potato, margarine D: 6pm - cornbread, pea soup, spinach salad S:

I think i need to put all my meals in a basket in the fridge so I can just pull them out when it is time to eat and not think about it

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Monday Jan 08, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

So today was the second hike for the WTC. At least I showed up for this one... I got about a quarter in and my heart rate was just pounding so hard, possibly due to adhd meds and ventolin. I was going to slow the sweep down so much they wouldn't get back before 9pm. So I signed out and headed back down the trail. Better to know I can't do it than to never have tried at all. I am in better shape than I used to be but not good enough to keep up yet.

Since I drove a kid here and I was his ride home... I couldn't just bail... Also I had given him my spare key and an extra pair of hat and gloves. Good kid. ---- Spent my waiting time today on a sorely needed task... cleaning out my iPhone. I keep running out of space and can't really use any apps so it was great to clean it out. I went through all my old photos and deleted anything I didn't want.

I found a bunch of my ex... broke my heart. He was a really terrible person hidden behind a lot of charm and I fell for it. I look so happy and I have so much hope before I met him and in the time I dated him and for a year after I look really sad. It's been a year and a month now and I only started looking happy again in December.

I also found a lot of photos of old friends who aren't in my life anymore. I miss them. I miss my old life. I need to work at being happy again. I didn't know I was happy when I was.


Plan for tonight is to just keep waiting till this kid gets back and keep working on deleting stuff. When I get home I will splurge on pizza since everything is raw and I need comfort food.

And post Pete's stuff. Tomorrow is another day.

---- B: coconut milk, coffee, zucchini muffin and a half S: turkey, tomatoes, hummus, tortilla, 1 aussie bite, carrot chips L: turkey, tomatoes, hummus, tortilla, 1 aussie bite, carrot chips S: turkey, tomatoes, hummus, 2 aussie bites D: edamame pasta, jack cheese, kale, marinara sauce, fake meatballs, fake meat crumbles... kale, wilted in. Stevia coke S: feel like I kept eating, but I think all I had were some lara bar bites and greek yogurt

I have to total up the calories but I think I ate entirely on-plan today without any simple carbs and 8 cups of veggies.

I WILL be in the WTC class next year.

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/08/2018:
Nice try on the hike the solution is time You need to get better and I am Sure you will be better next year !

I also am improving my cardio for Next year :-)

happy-1 on 01/10/2018:
One step at a time

happy-1 - Saturday Jan 06, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Appparently my cooking experiment has caused my mom to gain 4 lbs. How???? I said it is probably portion control. 


There is no greater pleasure in the world than getting out of the shower, wrapping yourself in a big fuzzy robe on the couch and sticking your feet under a big fluffy warm dog and running her fur through your toes.


Goal for today is to clean out iphone. Why can't I get my head around that task?


Found a caloric needs calculator that takes into account your bodyfat for more accurate caloric needs. http://scoobysworkshop.com/accurate-calorie-calculator/

At 5'10", age 40, 237lbs, 28% bodyfat and 1-3 hours of intense cardio (not just fat burning activity) I need 2515 calories a day to maintain weight and 2263 calories a day to lose 10% (.5 lbs) a week.

Switched my Fitbit food plan to "Low" intensity and it now says 2038 daily instead of 1798 daily. Apparently Fitbit doesn't take bodyfat percentage into account and so the calorie calculations are all off.


Meal planning challenge: Make a list of 5 healthy meals you can make in just 30 minutes or less with items that you almost always have on hand in the freezer and pantry: spaghetti and meatballs with frozen veggies, quesedillas, soups. Next, make sure you have the ingredients for those meals in your master grocery list, to make sure you keep them stocked up.

  • Turkey burgers, sweet potato fries, coleslaw
  • Spaghetti and meatballs (protein pasta, veggie meatballs)
  • Turkey chilli and brown rice
  • Baked veggie eggs and paleo pancakes
  • Salmon cakes and frozen veggies or coleslaw


Augh.... so I went out tonight to get more out there and active in the community (new years resolutions) and went to a 5pm Saturday church service. It was actually a decent philosophical and mentally engaging sermon... and they planned for all the New Years people showing up with a 6 week program for new attendees to try a group. Then they had $5 tacos!!!! I was like genius! And the congregation was mostly Asian so I knew they would be good.
So while I was eating my tacos happily in a corner, I was approached by one of the ladies who came and sat at my table. She sells herbal supplements and picked me out as a fat chick who needed to be saved... from her weight. I have never wanted to punch another human being so hard in my life.


6AM - Meds and Vitamins 8:40 AM - No vitamins, spaced
6AM: Coffee + Power Pastry (Caffeine + Healthy Fat + 1 Protein + 1 Complex Carb + Superfood Boost) 8:40 AM - 2 paleo zucchini muffins, forgot to add the superfood boost when I was cooking. Was only supposed to have 1.
8AM: Breakfast (3 Proteins + 1 Complex Carb + 1 Cup Greens) Spaced and skipped
1 Focus for Day  
11AM: Snack (1 Protein + 1 Healthy Fat + 1 Cup Greens + 1 Cup Veg) Spaced and skipped
1PM Lunch (1 Protein + 1 Complex Carb + 1 Healthy Fat + 1 Cup Greens + 1 Cup Veg) 12:20pm - Orange, 3 chicken meatballs, frozen veggies, pasta sauce, edamame protein pasta
3PM - Meds and Vitamins  
3PM Snack (2 Cups Veg + Healthy Fat + Complex Carb)  
6PM Dinner (1 Protein + 1 Healthy Fat + 1 Cup Greens + 1 Cup Veg)  
8PM: Dessert (1/3 Cup Fruit + 1/4 Cup Nuts + Healthy Fat)  
9PM - Sleep aid  


Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/06/2018:
How do you make the baked veggie eggs,In muffin pans?

happy-1 on 01/06/2018:
Silicone muffin cups, no oil needed

graindart on 01/06/2018:
Mmmmmm tacos. I used to eat a lot of tacos and a lot of pizza. We had taco night usually once per week and I'd normally eat 5 or 6 of them for dinner. The amount of pizza that I'd eat was worse. Portion control has always been a huge problem for me and it still is. I can go most of the day without eating and feel fine. However when I start eating, I don't want to stop. I've been able to curb my portions with tacos and now just eat 1 or 2, but have pretty much had to give up normal pizza because who seriously only wants to eat 1 or 2 small slices?

happy-1 on 01/08/2018:
It's probably because you go without eating most of the day that you eat more at night. I frequently space and skip meals and then I eat too much and make bad choices.

Donkey on 01/07/2018:
Wow, too bad the church experience ended on a sour note. What nerve!

happy-1 on 01/08/2018:
Yeah church was fine. The church lady was human spam. The whole conversation was off to a wrong note. She seemed offended when in response to her question about what brought me in... I said I rent a storage unit next door and they always seem to have some kind of trip post disaster they are funding so I figured I'd check it out as a New Years resolution... she was like what resolution would that be? I said to get out in the community more and participate. Be the change I want to see in the world. I don't speak crazy midwestern church lady... should I have told her my New Years resolution was to stop whoring for crack or something?

happy-1 - Friday Jan 05, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

241... Probably more weight fluctuation. I should start a graph. See if there's a trend.

My brain has felt so much better this week and last week. It's like a cloud has lifted and the little neurons are working better. I haven't taken the bait when either of my parents has ftried to start a fight with me for three weeks. I still have the ADHD "butterflies for a brain" that start flying in roughly the same direction when I take amphetamines, but if they were flying through a heavy, thick ground fog that you cold maybe see a foot in front of you in... that fog is a lot lighter. I wonder if it is the reduction in bodyfat. When I was skinny post college and 190lbs when I dumped thousands of dollars into personal training, the lowest my bodyfat was ever in range of was 33%... at 28% I'm in "acceptable range" and maybe that is the difference. I remember an article about obesity and the brain and looked it up today.

  • Weight affects cognitive function: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201306/obesity-and-the-brain
  • Your fat cells control your brain. Body fat is really a hormone organ that screws with your mood and appetite https://www.huffingtonpost.com/stephen-barrie-nd/your-fat-cells-control-yo_b_732201.html

I'm just in such a better mood. I double checked with my shrink and counselor Wednesday to make sure I'm not having a weird last-straw breakdown and they both said I sound fine... that it's very likely this is just the cumulative effect of healthy eating and cleaning up my environment (one hoarder box at a time).

I even... Shocker... Took all the gardening stuff I bought this past year and set up the kitchen for regrowing veggies from scraps and starting an herb garden. I have a big black plastic watertight bin of seed starting mix and a little bit of surestart under the kitchen sink. On my doorstep I have 3 pots of dirt and seeds (Parsley, thai basil, thyme) with actual plant markers that I misted with water... Hopefully they will start! I have a few celery scraps that grew new leaves to pot tonight. 

And although I should have been doing things for personal stuff and working on Pete's site... I detailed the front seat area of my car. I never noticed how funky my car was getting... All the fur creeping into crevices... Makeup smears on the plastic. I went to the dollar store and bought some cheap stuff to detail it with. Feels better in there, massively.

Every day you are above ground is an opportunity to change and improve for sure.


Even my dog feels better. She ate two big meals yesterday and all her treats this morning.


I had a great morning of personal satisfaction. My mom had to go in for jury duty today. She got dressed in the outfit I bought her a couple of months ago for Thanksgiving and looked very nice (and normal) in a grey and white marbled top, houndstooth grey pants, black loafers, and comfy canvas black purse. A little too much grey but she really liked the top and the patterns work together. I just happened to get up at the same time she was headed out the door (8! Yay! So much better than 11ish and depressed) and I had doubled the breakfast I made yesterday and separated them out into single servings so I just popped one in the microwave for her and made her some coffee. She headed off to jury duty in peace and tranquility... then my dad bumbled in and was trying to get his brain together to make breakfast so I popped another one in the microwave for him and sat him down at the table to make his coffee and eat. Curtailed all his morning yelling and blustering. No war today.


Got feedback on the interview I had zero sleep for. Unfortunately they decided to pass. They did not provide specific feedback, but instead are looking for the following:

Experience pros:

people who have worked for successful start-ups (I haven't)

people who have a track record of being at more than 1 company for more than 2 years (I haven't... keep getting to almost 2 years then they fold)

people who have had the title of product manager (or equivalent) for minimum 3 years (I have that)

people who have worked on customer-facing products (I have)

Experience cons:

multiple instances of <1 year experience at a given company (not me)

people who only work as consultants (not me)


So continuing my meal planning from yesterday... I'm trying to figure out an optimized flow for this using google spreadsheets. All the meal planning apps fall apart for me because they start from recipes, not from sales. 

Today's meal planning challenge from the bootcamp is to make a list of 7 favorite family veggie sides and different ways to prepare them with cooking times.

They will always eat the starchy roots, but the healthier veggies are harder to get into my dad

  1. Zucchini - Cut and steamed, cut lengthwise stuffed and baked, shredded and fried in patties, marinated in italian dressing and grilled
  2. Green beans - cut and steamed, baked in a casserole, blanched and raw in a salad or crudite
  3. Cauliflower - Mashed, whole, baked in a pie crust, blended with hominy
  4. Tomatoes - Fresh, stewed, stuffed, pasta sauce
  5. Spinach - Wilted and buttered, added to soup, creamed, hidden in meat 
  6. Squash - Steamed and buttered, used in place of pasta, baked and sliced
  7. Asparagus - Grilled, baked, blached and chopped into a salad or crudite
  8. Cabbage - Coleslaw, sauerkraut, soup, egg rolls

Might try this if I get ambitious for a breakfast dish: http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/recipes/laura-calder/vegetable-terrine-2119358


Getting a little stressed and anxious over the rejection. Flashing back to a coworker who said I was just a seat filler till they could get someone better. He was a jerk, but probably true.

Plus my dog is haunting my every move because I got up and got dressed. Makes me feel bad because I can't take her with me and she's bored anxious and lonely too.
Mom came home from jury duty and took me out for pizza and I feel so much better. I wonder if that anxious spinning feeling is hunger on an appetite suppressant medication?
Took the stress and anxiety and made pot roast in the slow cooker. Should be done around 8pm.

I have defintiely had food turn out better. Apparently I bought chuck steak and it should have only cooked for 2 hours and I cooked it for 8. The caulitatoes should have been mashed, not mixe in the food processor. Zuchinni bread turned out soggy. It was still a decent meal but... let's just say my parents were mostly good sports.


S: Coffee + half and half

B: Baked egg omlette, paleo pumpkin bread/pudding

S: skipped

L: apple, peanut butter cup

S: 1:45pm 1/2 a garden salad, 1/2 a small pepperoni pizza, diet coke, water

extra snack - crazy hungry: big bowl of minestrone soup leftover from last week

D: Pot roast, caulitatoes

S: Zuchinni bread muffin 

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 01/05/2018:
hello! lol, there is a graph...but i guess you want one that's more detailed than the graph to your right...

i'm glad everything went smoothly this morning for you at your house!

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
No I just mean something that tracks it like a line over time... calories in, calories out, weight

horn_of_plenty on 01/05/2018:
nice veggies you listed up there! :)

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
Yeah I like all of them but my dad doesn't. The challenge says everyone in your household. That's what I came up with.

horn_of_plenty on 01/05/2018:
I love your chart idea

horn_of_plenty on 01/05/2018:
But either way we know the cold truth - more calories than we burn is weight gain !

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
Yeah but the bouncing scale is weird. It doesn't make sense on the amount I am eating.

BearCountryGG on 01/05/2018:
When you eat too little your body thinks you are starving it and your metabolism slows down.....technically you should never go below 1,200 a day...and 1,500 is healthier...I'm thinking maybe you are gaining muscle which weighs more ( but losing fat)

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
Maybe. I'll just do a google sheet for it, see if it helps. Makes the numbers make sense. X lbs of muscle, x lbs of fat, x active minutes... which days the scale is up vs down... is it a weekly fluctuation that goes up and down on a cycle or is it too much sodium and water retention? Science might break the heartache cycle of the scale

Donkey on 01/06/2018:
THANK YOU for the book recommendation -- that sounds like something I definitely need to check into. I've also got to work on changing my mindset or point of reference with respect to what my work and co-workers mean to me. Ya know, at the end of the day, it's just a job, and I can be replaced in the wink of an eye.

WTG on the vegetables!!!

happy-1 on 01/06/2018:
Yeah, in all of my work struggles, I have pretty much realized that knowing how to deal with other people's crap is a skill and if you leave and don't deal with it, you will just encounter it again except then you will have less time on staff, fewer allies, and a riskier position. It's right up there with knowing how to deal with a bully. I don't get why there are all these articles about kids not being allowed to be bullies and fewer articles about teaching kids how to take out a bully.

Maria7 on 01/06/2018:
Your pot roast in the slow cooker sounds yummy. What all do you put in your recipe?

happy-1 on 01/06/2018:
Just garlic, carrot, onion, celery, thyme, salt, pepper, beef bouillon, chuck roast or round.

happy-1 - Thursday Jan 04, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

240+... just bouncing up and down across the same 5 lbs. I'd be bummed if I hadn't compared a couple of pictures and seen how much thinner my face is. Did you know that when you lose fat you literally exhale it? I'm wondering if it is the adhd meds. I don't get the appetite suppressant effect. I'm continuously hungry but it does raise my heart rate a tick whenever I get up and do stuff so I bet my chores and endless sorting of my parents house is fat burning. I think I need to wear my Fitbit more, get a more accurate calorie count. I keep totaling my end of day calories and they are way way higher but if my fat is changing and my weight is staying the same... what does that mean?


Flaked on going to the workout tonight... I haven't done what I need to do to get his site together and I am ashamed to show my face.


Made another meal planning dish tonight. I bought a bunch of chicken thighs at $.79 a lb... Pulled out half and decided to go with chinese food for variety. I basically took a set of kitchen shears and cut off the fat, skin, and bones and chucked them in the slow cooker to cook up for my dog with 3 of the remaining thighs so she gets some meat. Then I took the thigh meat and discovered that a ton of freezer space was going to a bag of asian veggies that had sauce packets. I tossed the sauce packet on the chicken and stuck it in my cast iron braising pan under the broiler, turning it a couple of times. Once it was done I moved the chicken to a serving bowl and did the veggies in the remaining sauce on the stovetop. I thought the sauce was super weak but my dad really liked it. My mom and I dressed it up in our bowls with green onions, cilantro, jalapenos, siracha, hoisin, and ginger garlic paste... made it waaaay better. These are all things my dad hates. The whole thing definitely could have used some peanuts or cashews but overall a successful meal for 3 people for under $10. A 4th serving could have been saved for later, but it was easier to just finish it off.

Parents are very full and quiet and pretty much tucked away at 8:30!!!!! Not rambling around looking for food or fighting and nagging till 3AM. I attribute the peace in the house to full bellies especially since I also made some chocolate pudding for dessert and topped it with dark chocolate brownie crumbs from the stash in the freezer. I am not a big sweets person, but my parents are... and they just have to have dessert. 

Still have a bag of 12 chicken thighs, a flat of chuck roast, and the other half of the pork spareribs to make up. I think tomorrow I will setup the beef in the pressure cooker as pot roast or beef stew. I tossed a bunch of potatoes in the slow cooker tonight on top of the chicken thighs and I can pull half of those out for mashed potatoes lightened with cauliflower.


Did the grocery lists and meal planning that I didn't do last night and stayed up an hour past my bedtime.

Overbought on the three meats I stocked up on... Glad I didn't buy more. Remaining dinners this week are:

Beef Stew, Caulitato mash Cabbage and sparerib soup Chicken Chili Verde

Proteins on sale this week are:

1 lb for $3.99 Beef Roast, Bottom Round (1 lb)
Family Pack
Ends 01/09/18
1 lb for $0.99 Pork, Sirloin Chops (1 lb)
End, Family Pack, Boneless
Ends 01/09/18
$6.99 Laura's Lean Beef Ground Beef, 96% Lean, Round (1 lb)
Loyalty Card Required
Ends 01/09/18
$0.79 Chicken, Thighs (1 lb)
Limit of 4 per customer, First Street
Ends 01/09/18
$0.99 Chicken Breast, Boneless, Skinless (1 lb)
Loyalty Card Required, Limit of 10 per customer
Ends Sunday
$1.77 Jennie-O Ground Turkey, 93 % Lean (16 oz)
Loyalty Card Required, Limit of 2 per customer
Ends 01/09/18

Dinners planned are:

  • Turkey Meatloaf
  • Pot Roast
  • Breaded pork chops
  • White Turkey Chilli and Cornbread or Paleo Biscuits
  • Chicken parm
  • Shepherds pie
  • Doggie dinner - Chicken thighs and potatoes


S: Coffee + half n half

B: 2 eggs (spinach, kale), pumpkin bread pudding

S: Stevia punch

L: 1 cup of minestrone soups a little parmesan, 2 cups of milk

S: Skipped

D: Broiled chicken thighs in an asian sauce with stirfried veggies and brown rice

S: Chocolate yogurt

Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/04/2018:
You are burning it better...your body is probably getting more efficient.

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
I wonder! I updated my dating profile pic. I have cheekbones! No double chin or if I do it is very slight.

Donkey on 01/04/2018:
Wow, that's really interesting! Bear might be right. Is it just in your face or all over or other body parts that are thinning down?

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
My saddlebags and hips are thinner and my thighs are thinner/not rubbing together to make a campfire.

I can wear stretch jeans in size 14 from Forever21 that I couldn't wear because they muffin topped and stretched to show white down the side.

Yesterday I was able to get on a pair of size 14 Lucky Brand jeans I bought on clearance for like $8 that I couldn't zip up a few months ago at the same weight. I can't wear them out of the house yet because they muffin top my belly fat... but it was awesome to get them on, zipped up and wear them all day!!! One step at a time. One meal at a time. One workout at a time.

BearCountryGG on 01/05/2018:
Someone else said it the other day...and I agree....I think you need to consider being a chef...you are so animated when you talk about cooking and meal planning.......I think that is your passion.....

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
Yeah, I wanted to do that as a kid and then I read "A woman's place is in the kitchen" and got scared off because kitchen's employ a lot of ex cons and people who have drug problems. I am a big fluffy cupcake / naive idiot and would be chewed up and spit out in minutes. Not that that isn't happening to me in software.

horn_of_plenty on 01/05/2018:
Hiiiiii Happyyyyy!!!!

Yes, isn’t that cool that most fat is just exhaled!? Yes, I’ve read that also, I think it’s amazing that most is lost that way…or through I think our excretions I believe and maybe sweat. But most is thru the air – yep I think it’s really cool! As far as the up and down 5 lbs bouncing and no real loss like you want – keep on. Don’t let your frustrations make you give up…the weight comes off after more time sometimes, just don’t give in to the temptation of giving up! It means you must be gaining muscle if you visibly look thinner but weigh the same!

I’ve been flaking on MANY workouts. But it’s due mostly to having a cold. Today I’m flaking bc we had a BAD snowstorm and I’d rather rest after work than try to navigate the snowy roads. I’m making a plan for my 1st priority tomorrow, early in the day, to be exercise. Sometimes (although try to eliminate excuses), skipping exercise is the better decision especially if it’s better for your safety / health….but I can’t wait to get back to regularly scheduled routines myself! Skipping workouts makes me lose strength! And I hate having to regain the strength I lost constantly instead of improving. But like you, we get back on schedule as soon as we can. That’s what’s good about the pros….the professionals are better at picking themselves up quicker after a fall. It’s not the fall that matters but how fast you recover. Professionals are good at the recovery. So in the gym, that’s how I like to try to make it for myself – whenever I get off track, I try very hard to recover as soon as I can afterwards…that’s all we can do!

It’s cool to read about all your fabulous cooking. Very smart to cook with the food you find on sale. I’m doing this more and more also. Actually, you just reminded me to do this with all my food – sometimes I find myself not buying the fruit or veg or meat that’s on sale…for now on, I’m going to work more to purchase the on sale food each week. I’m working on money savings too..like you…I’m trying to save a few thousand actually this year into my regular savings! My goal is to save $2,000 this year in my savings account instead of breaking out even as I usually do! And with a tax return of hopefully like $2,000…that’s $4,000 savings I hope at least! I’m sick of just breaking even year after year….but due to fun causes mostly like trips the last couple years!

I finally cooked the cauliflower rice that everyone raves about on the internet. But i didn’t add the fun peas and carrots…will have to attempt it again to include all ingredients and make it perfectly on my next attempt. Good to add cauliflower to the potato to lighten it up! GREAT job. Can you tell the difference?????

GREAT idea for a healthier, TURKEY meatloaf!

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
". But like you, we get back on schedule as soon as we can. That’s what’s good about the pros….the professionals are better at picking themselves up quicker after a fall. It’s not the fall that matters but how fast you recover. Professionals are good at the recovery. " Thank you so much for reminding me about this. I feel like I have been trying to pick myself up again for the last 10 years and not getting all the way there.

"I’m going to work more to purchase the on sale food each week. I’m working on money savings too..like you…" See if Mygrocerydeals.com works for your neighborhood. You can pick the best looking sale items at your favorite stores and add them to a shopping list. The printable view of your list copies and pastes well into a google spreadsheet for further refinement. Hard to meal plan for one person but I wish I had done it sooner.

BearCountryGG on 01/05/2018:
OMG.....Are we inhaling other peoples fat???????

happy-1 on 01/05/2018:
Yuck what a thought.

happy-1 - Wednesday Jan 03, 2018
(Paleo + beans + oatmeal + bootcamp + fitbit)
Weight: 234.4

Interview yesterday was OK. I May have f'd up... I got zero sleep and was in a super weirdly happy mood because dd is back online... Why is that such a mood booster? Really wasn't myself...

Add to my top 10 bad ideas that made my inner teenager wake up and says YES THAT! I WANT THAT!!!! I WANT THAT NOW!!! is a dude that emailed me on OKCupid... He posted shirtless photos of himself front and back... yes he is ripped... yes his torso is tattooed front and back with part that says "Long Beach" across his 6 pack. And he has a teaser butt shot up. He's 37 and says he's looking for hookups... but when I asked about it said "short term dating that leads to long term dating". How many ways is he a terrible, terrible idea? SO MANY WAYS.


S: Cranberry juice

B: 1 pumpkin pancake

S: Skipped

L: Diet pepsi, hot dog / no bun, choc frozen yogurt

S: Chicken cesar salad, no croutons, 1/2 cesar dressing.

D: Spare ribs in pea soup (my meal planned dinner turned out really well and was crazy cheap and easy... 10 min active time.... bubbled away in the instant pot while I walked my dog... delicious and my dad ate all of what was on his plate)

S: Protein pumpkin pudding


Didn't get everything on my list yesterday... Realized that I only have space in the fridge for breakfast and 3 dinners... Not 7. I just got chicken thighs, chuck roast, and pork spareribs.  One of the meal planning bootcamp tips is to stock up on sale meats, but there's no space in the fridge and one package makes 2 meals... so 3 dinners for now. Guess I am still doin a new meal plan tonight anyway for next week :-)


Make that tomorrow... Time to go to bed... on time!


Progress as of today: 73.6 lbs lost so far, only 54.4 lbs to go!

BearCountryGG on 01/04/2018:
Spare ribs in pea soup sounds interesting, do you precook the ribs? Is the instant pot the same thing as a slow cooker ( or crockpot?)

happy-1 on 01/04/2018:
The instant pot is a pressure cooker that can also be a slow cooker. It is fantastic and if you don't have one, buy the biggest one. The stainless steel insert can go on the stove for browning then you stick it in the pressure cooker to finish off. If I'd thought about it I could have cut up the ribs to brown them, stuck the pot in for 15 minutes to defat, then poured off the fat annd tossed in the broth, veg and peas for 20-30... but I was tired and just did the easy way and used all the fat in the soup. It tasted fine and wasn't fatty but probably not healthy.

innerpeace on 01/04/2018:
Maybe you did better than you think. I once thought I bombed an interview and then was offered the job, so you never know what employers are looking for. I think my DH is becoming a career interviewer though! I never had much luck on dating sites, I admire your fearlessness in doing it. I even had no that didn't want to continue corresponding and just put "i'd rather not say"! So good luck, be careful, stay safe but have fun.

happy-1 on 01/04/2018:
Yeah, it's not the best way to meet someone but I need some kind of hope.

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