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happy-1 - Sunday Aug 01, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 223.0

Still massively off schedule... was up till 3 watching Netflix. Slept till 10:20. Day 2 of not being able to take any concerta and having to take adderall IR instead. But at least I took the blackout curtain down and woke up in a better mood today. Sleep has taken a hit though and REM is down again so I need to get back on habit and schedule. I'll just have to walk it back 1 or 2 hours a night till I am back. Same with fasting.

I want keto butternut pecan ice cream SO BAD... but not enough to order Instacart or go to the grocery store on a weekend and increase my risk of catching COVID. Dad is not happy about this... he had a hissy fit and told me not to buy him groceries on Wednesday, and now he has to wait for Wednesday this week. He can't seem to process the idea that the Delta variant is getting the folks who are vaccinated and that grocery stores are where we are most likely to get it.

For Saturday July 31, 2021: All 10 habits are a no across the board, but I started cleaning out my closet and getting clothes together to go back to work, even just a temp agency job, and finally convinced my cat that the window perch is a nice place to hang out. She only bit me twice yesterday. Once a random one on my toe, possibly because I needed to go to bed, then once when I was in bed while she was tucking me in for the night. I stuck her in the bathroom to discourage biting and avoid getting bitten in my sleep.  It did not improve my REM.

 

Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 08/01/2021:
And I should clarify that she didn’t break skin.


bearcountrygg on 08/01/2021:
She doesn't really want to hurt you.....BUT she is sending you a message...something ticks her off.....and it might only be that she does or does not want to be touched......she may just be a temperamental cat...we had one for many years.....when she wanted attention she came to us...otherwise....don't bother touching because she would either swipe us with a foot or bite.......and she never did get over that....but when Sampson has hissed, bit or growled at me...i tell him very firmly NO...and he stops.

happy-1 on 08/02/2021:
I don’t understand why she keeps walking over and biting my feet.


Jacky82020 on 08/01/2021:
Can you do grocery pickup? We’ve been doing it over a year at Walmart. Almost Always have to enter for something, but spend much less time inside.

happy-1 on 08/02/2021:
It’s more about putting my foot down on going to the grocery store more than 1x a week. He and my mom went every other day. He only likes specific items from different stores and that is a pain to manage and always jacks up our grocery bill. I set a $100 cap for each of us for all groceries and shopping, making a meal plan and only buying what’s on it and not takig him with me. He has a nutritionist appointment tomorrow. I’m still struggling to pull myself back together after this round of congestive heart failure / sodium issues. The week that happened, I did 6 yoga classes. I’m struggling to get back on track

happy-1 on 08/02/2021:
And also, I just don’t want to deal with grocery stores on the weekends, even parking lots. I don’t want to waste my scheduled rest days on store pickups where I might have to go in and resolve an order error… plus we can’t get the sale prices he wants to take advantage of with store pickup… .99 eggs, 1.99 cranberry juice.


Donkey on 08/01/2021:
Some cats are more mouthy than others. Every once in a while, Baby Kitty will give me a "love nip" on my chin. OUCH! Which is completely different than the mouth action that Boy Cat will give my hand when he's had enough of nail trimming. It's like I have a limited time, and if I don't get them done in that time, he's done.

Maybe see it as the cosmic forces of the universe preventing you from keto butternut pecan ice cream for the time being... It's just not meant to be, at this time. But wait until Wednesday (LOL)...

Preparing yourself to go back to work -- that is a positive step :-)

happy-1 on 08/02/2021:
My last cat never bit me once… this one is just a little pirhanna… possibly why she got kicked out to the street.

happy-1 on 08/02/2021:
Yes! Wednesday I will devour my ice cream!!!!



happy-1 - Saturday Jul 31, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 223.0

For Friday July 30, 2021

Pushed myself to do a lot of paperwork and computer work this week. Gave myself a good bit of insomnia. Doesn't help that I fell off habit completely yesterday and today. I also tanked my sugar and sleep. Ah well. Tomorrow is another day. I will get back up. I might even go to church on Sunday... in the park... rejoin the world.

Dropped 8lbs. No idea why.

Progress as of today: 94 lbs lost so far, only 63 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/31/2021:
Start anew... Every day can be a fresh start. (((hugs)))

happy-1 on 07/31/2021:
Yeah, just tracking the ups and downs from ineffective tradeoffs. Trying to find the right chain of habits to never break to heal and get back to work. This journal is turning out to be super helpful.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/31/2021:
i can relate on the paperwork issue. i have some things to do, little ones, this weekend :)

you were just improving quite well in the last entry so i know you can pick up steam! (body battery will charge more!)

church in the park sounds good!

i like donkey's positivity above.

happy-1 on 08/01/2021:
I overslept again today and missed church in the park. Next week.



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 28, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 229.6

For Wednesday, July 28, 2021:

Cat is branching out from deli turkey to chicken strips. She was going to bite me a couple of times today and stopped herself. Better and better everyday. I can't believe how much better my outlook is with a cat around. I was never that into them, but she is pretty good company.

Shein order came today. I am "almost" happy with all of it. Only really happy with the skirt. I'll look at it again tomorrow.

Sleep and a higher body battery today!!!!


 

  1. Hc - Skipped chocolate yesterday, was able to hang onto fast, better sugar.
  2. Ps - Doc appt, grocery run (have to go but I hate doing it so it's a stressor
  3. Ns - Tried to do a grocery list with dad... turned into world war 3
  4. Prd -
  5. ----
  6. Bp - yes and normal
  7. Ns - no
  8. 14h - yes!!!!
  9. 2do - yes... only one thing on my to do list today, but I did it so yes.
  10. Pln - yes
  11. 2.5k5 - I really need to nail this down better... but yes I had eaten at least this much by 5
  12. 10cr - no
  13. 10Kstp yes!!!!!!
  14. 7w no 3
  15. 9bed yes

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/29/2021:
Oh a recharged battery!!!! Victory!!!! And you checked off a lot of items on your daily goals list!!!

It warms my heart to hear that kitty is doing so well. My boy cat loves... well, he loves all foods, but chicken and turkey are his favorites! Yes, even more than fish!

happy-1 on 07/29/2021:
Yeah, she only recognizes cat food as food, but I give her a little bit of whatever I have as a treat. I made my own pet food for my dog and my mom’s cat, but I can wait to start doing that again.


bearcountrygg on 07/29/2021:
I wonder why cats are so eager to nip...when we are the ones to feed them. Apparently they have never heard the phrase "don't bite the hand that feeds you!" LOL

happy-1 on 07/29/2021:
“I love you, but I also want to bite you.”

At least she’s stopped breaking skin. Nowhere near where we need to be for her to be free range in the house with Dad.


horn_of_plenty on 07/29/2021:
no no; guinea pig cuddles are LONG! except my younger one; which it is just a few minutes.

the other two can each last about an hour now! one will not even poop during the whole hour. the other might. and the baby one can only do a few minutes like i mentioned...diff personalities/ages.

happy-1 on 07/29/2021:
LoL… “I love you, but I also want to poop on you.”


horn_of_plenty on 07/29/2021:
that's nice that your cat eats whatever you eat lol ;)

happy-1 on 07/29/2021:
Not there yet… I’m trying to keep it to little bits for treats.


horn_of_plenty on 07/29/2021:
been reading your sleep is a struggle; well, i can relate. this week i haven't slept as soundly. i wake up either from some thigh pain or loud thunder. i'm sure it will improve over the weekend for me....and your sleep seems to be getting better; too.

happy-1 on 07/29/2021:
You’ll be right as rain in no time.



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 28, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 229.6

For Tuesday July 27, 2021:

Sleep went to crap again. No chocolate today to see if that helps... Tomorrow by hook or crook I make a cheesecake, damnit.

  1. Hc - Headache on wakeup, not enough sleep, blood pressure in range before meds and even after a second cup of coffee. Fatigue... couldn't make it through my day
  2. Ps - Dad checkin. Pushing back to keep it within the time limit. I asked him to have a list. He did!!!!!
  3. Ns - Dad had a 2 page list for a 15 min checkin... FML.
  4. Prd - Low. Brain dead and low energy. Easily distracted. Nothing critical done.
  5. Bp - yes, in range, 2x
  6. Ns - yes, but on the foam roller not the pt assignment. Too tired for the pt assignment
  7. 14h - no. I had a snack after my walk last night. Set it up today though.
  8. 2do - sort of. Not all of it
  9. Pln - yes
  10. 2.5k5 - not sure. Was so tired i jotted down what I ate but I didn't log the calories
  11. 10cr - no. I vacuumed for yoga, but that wore me out and I just gave up for the night at that point.
  12. 10Kstp - no, and I didn't go for a walk
  13. 7w - no but I set it up for tomorrow.
  14. 9bed - yes, on the nose. Fighting the cat for prime foot real estate. I never planned to sleep with a cat. My 55lb dog took up less space and didn't bite me.

 

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/28/2021:
I threw my sleep cycle into the bin last night, with a change in routine. I don't think it's worth it. It will be interesting to see how quickly I can re-establish the good cycle I had. Will one day ruin it all?

I like how you've written that you have some of your goals set up for the next day (to succeed) - now that's a plan! :-)

happy-1 on 07/28/2021:
Most people make up 1 bad night of sleep over the course of a couple of weeks or so. You can see the pattern if you export the sleep data from fitbit under settings. The issue is your acute sleep debt in 1 day and then 14 days and 3 month intervals for cognitive function.


bearcountrygg on 07/28/2021:
Oh boy...a 2 page list!!!

happy-1 on 07/29/2021:
<:-}

And it will take me a couple of years to complete.



happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 27, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 229.6

Getting a little frustrated. I've been trying to get real sleep for so long... now that I finally have it... I don't understand why with all this sleep under my belt I didn't just start rocking it like a racehorse released from the gate. It's like some of my get up and go got up and went. Partially... I don't magically have the ability to do all the things I want to do because I'm so out of shape. Also Sunday and Monday I couldn't hold onto my fast after 5pm. Sunday I had snacks at 1 in the morning, last night at about 9. Sleep wavered yesterday and fell apart last night. I'm waiting for 9am to eat, back to skipping chocolate today, and starting my fast again at 5pm to see if that puts me back on track. Blood pressure was normal again this morning at least. 

Inch by inch, step by step, one foot in front of the other, pebble by pebble, the ability to keep going when there is no light at the end of the tunnel is a skilll. There are still great things ahead of me, friends to be made, fun to be had. I can do this.

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/27/2021:
Great attitude. Keep on truckin’

Hate when I wake up and eat in the still of the night.


happy-1 on 07/27/2021:
Ugh… hit submit too fast… For Monday July 26, 2021: Hc - not enough sleep, headache on wakeup, couldn’t stick to fast again Ps - Therapy appt, finishing stats and revising them Ns - Guilt over taking time for myself after shorting dad last week when I should be more on it Prd - 2 walks, appt, stats, laundry, dishes, packed meds, cleaned bathroom Bp yes Ns no 14h no 2do no. Didn’t even look Pln, no and it’s an issue because I didn’t make one for the week 2.5k5 yes, but way over 10cr, no tired, lazy 10Kstp, almost. 250 short 7w, no 6 9bed, no walking back again from sunday night insomnia


bearcountrygg on 07/27/2021:
You are keeping track of a lot of things...that takes a lot of organization.



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 25, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 229.6

Sunday July 25, 2021:

I finished my stats and notes entries for my OT tomorrow. I am glad to get it out of the way. I don't know that it was worth skipping an opportunity to spend time with the Ex-ish. He finally got a decent haircut and is now a dead ringer for Jason Statham but with a better 6 pack and more hair. He wouldn't have gone to the beach or the farmer's market though, so meh. Critical work is done. Onwards and upwards. 

The cat has been very supportive of my efforts the entire time. I got SO MANY CUDDLES today. Dad was relatively chill.

Can't be a slug all week this week. One week to recover from a solid month of dad drama is OK. Two weeks is not. Tomorrow I will start with getting out and about.

  • Hc - Normal blood pressure before and after meds, more stable sugar
  • Ps - Working on the stats against a deadline
  • Ns - Don't want to be inside. I want to go to the beach
  • Prd - Finished the stats

Habits

  1. Bp - Yes
  2. Ns - No
  3. 14h - Yes
  4. 2do - No, but I did do the critical thing
  5. Pln - No
  6. 2.5k5 - No
  7. 10cr - No
  8. 10Kstp - No
  9. 7w - No
  10. 9bed - No. Will work to get back on schedule tomorrow.

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 07/26/2021:
Glad you got some rest this past week. Your kitty that you rescued sure does love you!

happy-1 on 07/26/2021:
She says "Yes I do, purr purr purr... CHOMP!"


Donkey on 07/26/2021:
I hope that you have a good OT appointment!!!! You've worked hard, up to it.

I love reading about your kitty -- she's really coming around :-)

happy-1 on 07/26/2021:
Right??? She's a professor, so she must just be better than other OT's out there but she's really helping me untangle a difficult puzzle. Without the stats, I wouldn't know what to change next.

I'm still amazed that she's coming along so fast. Stray to ideal house cat in 60 days. Just need to figure out why she goes from purr to chomp without warning. At least she's stopped breaking skin. I just stick her (or chase her) into the bathroom when she bites me.


bearcountrygg on 07/26/2021:
Pets are so special like that....when people can be so difficult......a pet is there to appreciate you......( always be the one to feed them)...LOL

happy-1 on 07/26/2021:
She woke me up with purrs and cuddles this morning when my Alexa routine started. She's a total Momma Cat. "Hey sweetie, time to wake up and start your day. You need to get it together to go back to work and earn for cat food. We can do this."

Then she flipped the psycho switch and chomped me. Working on it.


horn_of_plenty on 07/26/2021:
lol, i'm right behind you! i'll be 39 in september, not even 5 years younger! we can be "pre-middle aged" haha.

lol to ex-ish...that's nice he's rather good looking...

love pet cuddles, yes! even guinea pigs are great cuddlers or i'd never have bought them!

wishing you less dad drama!

happy-1 on 07/26/2021:
38 was a fine year.

He was bound to get a haircut and a makeover someday… he’ll be scooped up by some cougar in no time.

I picture guinea pig cuddles as being very short and vibratey!



happy-1 - Saturday Jul 24, 2021
(BP1,4ns,14fs,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,9bed)
Weight: 229.6

 Still going through my entries here and doing my stats. It's really helpful. 

7 nights in a row of quality sleep. Like answered prayers. I'm just normal fat and out of shape middle-aged lady tired, not omfg I'm losing my **** tired.

Resisting Shein shopping to finish.

For Friday, July 23, 2021:

  1. BP1, Yes, not sure it recorded. Elevated
  2. 4ns, No
  3. 14fs, Yes
  4. 2do, No
  5. 30pln, No
  6. 2.5k@5, Yes?
  7. 10cr, No
  8. 10Kstp, No but I went for a walk for the first time this week.
  9. 7w, No, about 4
  10. 9bed, No, stayed up till I yawned. I don't want to set alarms till I catch up on my sleep debt now that I am getting quality sleep.

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/24/2021:
Did you get the results of your sleep study?Is that why you are sleeping better?

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
No... It's either the blackout curtain and no chocolate experiment this week, or that I hit the 90-day mark on the Trazadone detox last Sunday. I ate a little chocolate tonight so I can figure it out.


Jacky82020 on 07/24/2021:
Great you’re getting good sleep!

I got an email from Fitbit re a new tracker. Does all kinds of stuff including an ECG. Geez! What next!

Plus it tells you what your mood is. Not sure how. Guess it’s BP & skin moisture, maybe sleep too. I should Google it

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
Fitbit is ****. Garmin is better.

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
Is it the Sense? If it is, they basically added a mood tracking feature you have to manually input. "Easily log your mood, from very stressed to very calm, on Sense after an EDA Scan session or in the Fitbit app to help you reflect on what makes you feel your best."

Then they are doing body stress using HRV. Not the same as emotional stress and autodetecting mood.

The body temperature thing is a nice upgrade... that will tell you if you are getting sick. Smart Wake would be a nice upgrade. If Garmin offered that I'd buy a new one.


bearcountrygg on 07/24/2021:
I used to have amood ring back in the 60's.....LOL

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
With bell bottoms and a knit bikini top?


Donkey on 07/24/2021:
That's really wonderful to hear about your sleep.

In your entry for July 19th, you had asked what my FitBit sleep score was from a certain night this week (that we just finished), and I realized this morning that I didn't answer you. My sleep score for Monday night into Tuesday was a 92, with 7 hours and 53 minutes. The next night, my score was down to 84 -- that was the lowest for all week.

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
Did it show you what your REM was? Fitbit sleep tracking is super misleading. I can't use any of the data from it before I switched to Garmin.


Jacky82020 on 07/25/2021:
Yes! It’s the Sense! I’ve heard several ppl say Garmin is better than Fitbit, I really do like my Fitbit scale though.

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
:-)


bearcountrygg on 07/25/2021:
Bell bottoms YES!!! Bikini top no...I wore halter tops...LOL

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
Classier. I should have expected that!


Donkey on 07/25/2021:
I will mention my FitBit sleep stats in your current entry -- easier for you, hopefully, to reference and respond :-)

Oh, and I agree 100% about Garmin versus FitBit. I started with a FitBit when my co-workers got them. Then, my Daughter bought me an upgrade when my first one died. The upgrade has the hourly reminders and sleep stats. That is what I have now, and will use it until it too dies.

My real-life lady inspiration uses Garmin. She is (or has been) a serious athlete (Boston Marathon, Ironman, etc.), so I completely understand why she uses a Garmin.

I don't know about Garmins, but the life of a FitBit is 2-3 years, so the one I have now may die soon. I have no indication that it's starting to die - just sayin' this as something to keep in mind. I will do research into the Garmins.

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
I think that's how long I've had my Garmin watch. My gps with in reach is like 9? People have had Fenix's that long.


Donkey on 07/25/2021:
^ I guess I'm confused. I posted my Fitbit sleep stats on your other entry for July 24th...


Horn_of_plenty on 07/25/2021:
I'm so glad your sleep has improved a bit. now you feel like me, i think!? lol, but you aren't really so "middle aged!" quit thinking like that ;)

also, nice job staying in line and continuously improving!

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
I'm 43... Anything after 80 is spent in diapers... meh.

Even if there is no light at the end of the tunnel, you have to keep going. It's a skill. The stats tracking helps though... Even a tiny lift helps me keep going and not just chuck it all. A bunch of tiny lifts and you get progress.



happy-1 - Saturday Jul 24, 2021
(HcPsNsPrd,BpNs14h2doPln2.5k510cr10Kstp7w9bed)
Weight: 229.6

Saturday 7-24-2021:

Completely sedentary today. I am getting my data together but my brain wants to be at the farmers market or the beach. It was uncooperative all day. Then it wanted a shower and a thourough leg shave. I made it be happy with that and get back to work. It also wants a teeth whitening, home facial, pedicure, and a closet clean out.

Ha. Brain we don't have time for that.

Realized this morning that last Sunday would be the 90 day mark off the Trazadone (that I was on to get me off the Lunesta). That could have been sitting in my fat cells and releasing slowly, wrecking my sleep still.. so I had a small amount of chocolate at 5pm to see if that was what was wrecking my sleep. I just can't go 30 days without chocolate and beating myself up for not thinking about food allergies all this time. Saturday night is a better night to experiment than Sunday or a weekday. My brain will be a cranky toddler all day tomorrow anyway.

It looks like I can get body temperature from my Garmin 245 if I install the data fields.... Well... that's complicated and fancy... why isn't this just part of Garmin?

Also... Cat update... Today she experimented with crawling up onto my chest for a cuddle all on her own. I did give her  butt a boost for better positioning. She'll figure it out. I feel chosen.

Hc (Health Changes): 14 day avg REM up to 1:27, just normal fat, old, sick, and out of shape tired, not omfg I want to die tired. Energy to shave, do nails/whiten teeth, and do skin. Haven't been able to do all that in one day in a long time.

Ps (Positive Stressors): Crunching stats for OT appointment on Monday. 

Ns (Negative stressors): Want to be at the beach or the farmer's market because I suddenly feel better not hiding in my bedroom on the computer watching amazon prime. Insomnia from not getting out and about. Feel bad about avoiding dad and not cooking today.

  1. BP1, yes. Wifi didn't record. UGH
  2. 4ns, no
  3. 14fs,yes! 6 in a row!!!
  4. 2do, no
  5. 30pln, no
  6. 2.5k@5, yes to having probably done that... maybe
  7. 10cr, no
  8. 10Kstp, no. I was a sedentary lazy slug today. 
  9. 7w, no, 4?
  10. 9bed, no... I'm still not doing alarms and schedules. Monday maybe. Just finish out this week of letting my body rest and recover. In going through my journal entries and correlating them to my habits and stats, I saw that the dad heart fluid buildup drama has been going on for a month and I have been so tired I just would cry if I wasn't doing this little summary at the end of the day to put myself at peace.... I'm ok with a week of rest.

 

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/25/2021:
I think we need sedentary days...it lets us regroup.....too much activity day after day without letup is exhausting.....we need that break and I don't think we should feel bad about it.

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
Days... not a whole week, lol


Donkey on 07/25/2021:
I agree about the sedentary days. I think you're younger than I am, but as you get older, you will appreciate that rest time. I promise you that :-)

And I can understand being called to the market or beach at the same time... That might be hard to resist, but in the long run, the rest and stats for OT will serve you better, I hope.

My FitBit sleep stats:

Monday night into Tuesday: Awake 25 min, REM 1hr 40 min, Light 5 hr, 12min, Deep 1hr, 1min. Sleep score 92%

Tuesday night into Wednesday: Awake 38min, REM 1 hr 2 min, Light 4 hr 32 min, Deep 1 hr 12 min. Sleep score 84%

Perhaps percentages would be easier to understand? I need to learn how to do screenshots on an Android.

Last night, my sleep score was 89%, with 7 hours of sleep. Spent too much time in light sleep, and did not meet the "benchmarks" for Awake, REM, and Deep sleep.

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
Fitbit puts their stats together REALLY weird and hides the f'd up sleep issues... That's how I got where I am... The Fitbit data I was looking at while I was working with the OT.

It definitely looks like you don't get enough REM sleep. Fog, anxiety, increased hunger, despair, difficulty planning/taking action, everything seems really hard, irritable. Yeah that's depression, but that's also Z's.

Try to export 90 days. If there's a way to send me your export file I'll look at it for you.



happy-1 - Friday Jul 23, 2021
(BP1,4ns,14fs,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,9bed)
Weight: 229.6

 For Thursday, July 22, 2021:

  1. BP1, I don't think so
  2. 4ns, no
  3. 14fs, yes
  4. 2do, no
  5. 30pln, no
  6. 2.5k@5, yes
  7. No to the rest: 10cr,10Kstp,7w,9bed

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/23/2021:
two entries of yours that i'll be catching up on!

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
I have all your entries to catch up on.


Donkey on 07/23/2021:
Well, I give you a LOT of credit for achieving a 14-hour fast. That is not easy to do. #6 is impressive too. That's 80-90% of weight loss (perhaps I should say optimal nutritional intake).

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
Thanks! It's actually that I checked my calories at 5pm and made sure I ate at least 2500 calories before my fasting window starts... and that I won't be way under... It's a little wonky because I still need to figure out how many calories I will burn after that... My plan is to stop eating at 5, do a yoga class, go for a walk after that, then go to bed. I still need to figure out how many calories that will burn and eat just enough to be -250 that day.


Maria7 on 07/23/2021:
Hope you have a good day. Your cat sounds so adorable!

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
She's such a sweet little thing!

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
And I think if mom can see me, at least she is enjoying watching the cat. She really liked cats.

happy-1 on 07/25/2021:
And honestly, I am super surprised that I just picked a random cat off the street, brought it inside my house, and in about 60 days she figured out how to be an excellent house cat... better-behaved than other cats I have experienced. I was totally prepared to have to wait out a year or more on that.



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 22, 2021
(BP1,4ns,14fs,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,9bed)
Weight: 229.6

Shocker this morning. My 14 day Deep and REM sleep deficit is finally starting to close... And I just feel SO MUCH BETTER.

I seriously hope it's the blackout curtain and running the AC at night, not giving up chocolate. How could I ever give up chocolate? And how much will it suck to donate my protein shakes and keto chocoloate treats to a food bank? So expensive.

My task for today is to go through past logs and crunch them for the timeline of stuff that happened (changes, positive stressors, negative stressors, productivity). I find it kind of depressing to look at past entries... I'm trying so hard and making so little progress... But seeing that change is such a morale boost. Maybe I will pull it off. Goal is be to figure out why/how all of a sudden my habit scores go from 0 to 9, then fall off again, and have a more complete narrative for the endocrinologist next week. This is at the expense of stuff I need to process and summarize for my dad, but the stats get me out and back to work and the stuff for my dad just feeds his endless demands and doesn't change anything.

For Wednesday July 22, 2021:

Cat started experimenting with being a lap cat on her own, a few minutes at a time. She thinks she might like that... This house cat gig isn't so bad she says. I still don't have a cat tree for her. I flipped around my bike desk so that she can sit at the window and peek out, but she isn't interested in that yet. The view outside isn't much... I need to hang some plants and a bird feeder or something.

I was up and on track, moving a little slow and foggy but pulling off my day when I got major cramps a few days early. UGH!!!!! I ended up rescheduling my eye appointment that afternoon and PT in the morning because I just couldn't do anything. I tried to get stats done but just couldn't pull it together. UGH. I ended up pulling out my camp cot and watching Netflix till all hours, unplugged my alarm, and slept in.

  1. BP1, Yes, elevated. Rescheduled PT appt tomorrow so I don't get scolded in public again.
  2. 4ns, Probably not. 
  3. 14fs, Yes. Doing well with this on enough REM sleep.
  4. 2do, No. It was blown up 100%.
  5. 30pln, No. I was a vegetable
  6. 2.5k@5, I think I blew past this with extra snacks, but I did stop eating at 5pm.
  7. 10cr, No. I was sedentary. Felt like poop.
  8. 10Kstp, Nope. Barely moved.
  9. 7w, 4 waters
  10. 9bed, no 1:30 AM

 

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Almost forgot... 4 rounds of intermittent dad stress yesterday because he wants thing from me and I need this week to myself to recover from all the extra trips to kaiser, not sleeping well, and I had massive cramps. I dealt with it, but it didn't help.


Jacky82020 on 07/22/2021:
I have used blackout curtains in the bedroom for ages. Love them!

Why do you have to donate that pricey stuff? Won’t it keep for a while in case you change your mind?

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Because if it is in the house, it will end up in me. I will get sick, tired, or stressed and eat it... It has to be gone for the same reason I have a separate mini-kitchen in my bedroom to keep me out of my dad's food. My sanctuary cannot have anything bad for me in it.

I'll stay off it 30 days... Then try re-introducing it, see if it is actually what messes me up.


bearcountrygg on 07/22/2021:
Blackout curtains are life changing!!!

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Yeah... I bought them last year and ended up taking them down... Waking up in darkness bums me out. I prefer a sleep mask that I shift off while sleeping and a shade tarp outside to keep heat off the wall and window... cie la vie.


Jacky82020 on 07/22/2021:
Gotcha. I’ve thrown away candy and cookies etc.

Thanks for mentioning (I think it was you) how how easy ginger is to grow, It is from what I’m reading, but I’d have to grow it indoors in pots here. Unfortunately I froze what I bought from Amazon & am fairly certain that I killed the little bud thingies. The ginger is all soggy now. I’m leaving it on the counter to see if it grows, but highly doubt it. There’s a little upscale supermarket nearby that probably has ginger root. So I’ll get there soon.Try to avoid that store because it’s always crowded, but don’t need a full pound from Amazon.

happy-1 on 07/23/2021:
Yeah it’s actually invasive, so keep it in pots. Turmeric and garlic will also grow prolifically.


Jacky82020 on 07/23/2021:
Wonder if they’d grow here where it snows & freezes. The ginger won’t, hence the pots. They have a lovely tropical red flower when they thrive

Thanks again for the suggestion! Gonna buy & plant some today.

happy-1 on 07/24/2021:
Turmeric has to be inside also. Garlic makes a decent houseplant too. I like the garlic greens when I make Chinese fakeout.


Donkey on 07/23/2021:
I'm enjoying reading about your sleep journey/goals. I've learned so much.

That's very interesting to read about your habit scores oscillating like that. I think it would be very difficult to stay on course or establish any habits when the demands of caregiving keep throwing you curveballs. IDK, kind of reminds me of PTSD symptoms in that you're moving along and then something happens and there's a sudden stop, like a paralysis (physical, mental, both?). IDK... (((hugs)))



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