Super tired so a short post. Day 4 of 60. 4 solid days in a row on track. Have to do a grocery run tomorrow. Might limit it to chicken, sweet potatoes and eggs to keep life aimple.
Progress as of today: 80 lbs lost so far, only 48 lbs to go!
OMG... That bootcamp class was intense. I did push myself to make sure I broke a sweat and maxed out my muscles to the point where they don't hold anymore, and I was appropriately rewarded... with horrible muscle soreness about 2h later that was soooo bad I was up till 2:30 AM just ready to break... even though I took glucosamine after... I held it together by doing the photo collage and looking at the photos so I could be happy with myself for being on track and stay in that mindset and not suddenly start eating. It worked well! I didn't break and go for the chicken top ramen in my bear barrel or eat an extra meal. All I had when I got home was my 6th meal for the day which I planned as yogurt but it seemed like too much to eat so I just had a protein shake from that new Musclemilk probiotic vanilla mix I got at Costco... and I was really surprised at how good it is! I read online today that I should have had more carbs afterwards, like an apple or other fruit. (https://www.healthline.com/health/fitness-exercise/what-to-eat-after-cardio#5)
I did sleep really late though... If I was working I would have worked from home... I was so sore I really thought I had pulled a ligament but after coffee and oatmeal I feel a lot better.
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So far I have drowned 3 mice. I know I have to do it, that I have to put out sticky traps to fight back, and once they are in a sticky trap, they are struggling and it is the fastest way to end the cruelty... but at one point in my life I was vegan and went out of my way for animals. Now I eat meat and dairy multiple times daily. I keep thinking about The Good Place... an awesome TV show. Ellen in her enlightenment becomes a vegan and saves bugs.
Sigh.
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Just realized this is my 7th time through the challenge... And I'm just now starting to catch up to all the habits I had to build to do it.
Progress as of today: 80 lbs lost so far, only 48 lbs to go!
So... total on-track % for health plan for last week is 70%... A great baseline to start from considering it was my first week tracking habits that way and we all need to ramp up. I thought I'd come in at 40% but that just goes to show cognitive bias... I always feel like I am doing a terrible job but the numbers are usually better than I expected. Just saying to myself I need to stop the negative tapes in my head and negative thinking doesn't really help. I need to be able to scientifically prove to myself that something I keep thinking isn't true. Grrr... get after it. Ignore the quit signals and keep going. The only way to get through something is to keep going.
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Invited 3 of the folks from church to join the 60 day challenge. I hope they do it. All have significant health issues aggravated by weight. 2 of the 3 are morbidly obese and look like they are about to die at any minute. Plus, I could really use the support.
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Day 1 in the bag. It's 1 am but I pulled it all off. Took a break tonight from all the horrors of the day to assemble all my food photos for the day into a collage for the 60 day challenge. I made it to the church bootcamp tonight, so I added that in. It was kind of fun so I put it on Facebook. Kind of regretting it. We shall see what happens.
Progress as of today: 80 lbs lost so far, only 48 lbs to go!
Weight loss! 1.8lbs!!!!!! Man every pound is a battle, but it's a war and I'm winning. I've been more "on plan" this week than any other before and I think overall I dropped 5lbs or so to get that 1.9 below my plateau. I even got to bed on time last night... All I need to do next is find my blood pressure cuff and measure it for the new 60 day challenge that starts tomorrow.
Happy Easter everyone!
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I lost 4 lbs total this challenge. Progress as of today: 80 lbs lost so far, only 48 lbs to go!
I think my dog is worried about how skinny I am getting. I just watched her chase a mouse into a sticky trap and turn around and alert me to the catch. I think she expects me to eat them...
And my dog is smart enough to pre-meditate a mousey death in a sticky trap????
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
Grrr... get after it. Up at 6:30 today... in stages... plan was an 8am bootcamp, but it wasn't going according to the posted schedule and is a 10am Zumba class instead. Arrgh. At least I am up on time!
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Unpleasant discovery... one of my insurance accounts was cancelled and may not be reinstated. I am still sifting through my chaos and am not quite on too of things yet... crap. When will I have basic organization and life management happen? I'm 40.
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Got to Zumba!
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Next unpleasant discovery... Mice.
God, grant me the strength to figure everything out and then follow through on it.
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Speaking of planning... I do have to say that the worksheets really are helping. There is something about paper and pencil that accesses a different part of my brain and allows me to think more realistically about what I can do in a day. I am going to update my profile and change my diet to reflect this.
Bullet journals kind of work this way... It's kind of one of those. Just done up in Google and printed out once a week.
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From my planning, I see that I run out of prepared meals on Thursday this upcoming week. That means I need to check the sales on Tuesday when they change, go food shopping on Wednesday before my track workout... stick it all in the cooler and then take it home to prep meals right away! Oi!
But I couldn't have told you that last week!!!!
I think writing out what I am going to have ahead of time is really, really helpful and might help me stay on plan for eating and working out.
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One mouse down.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
The issue of my parents is kind of nebulous... It's a toss up as to whether they are helpless and I need to be here or they are taking advantage of the fact that I am here and not doing for themselves. I am dog sitting for a couple of weeks and planning on camping in between, so I will be gone 16 days with my dog. I'll see what I come home to.
All you can do is set traps. If I've learned nothing else from my job it's that exterminators DO NOT fume/smoke out mice.
Slept 9h, had vyvanse and a cup of coffee and some excedrin... but I am still sluggish and my jaw hurts. Working on my "cocktail" to get me started (vyvanse, coffee, advil, excedrin) and I am wondering if I should add some pre-workout mix to my stack prior to cardio. Maybe even a recovery drink. L-glutamine helps with soreness but there's a wall of hopelessness and sadness I hit after... I've been tracking my energy levels throughout the day.
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Fell asleep too fast to do my bedtime meditation last night. Neil Gaiman's Stardust just knocked me out. That man is the best bedtime story teller. I wonder if his SO's suffer from narcolepsy... his voice just knocks them out. Bedtime meditation:
3 grats - 1) my parents for sheltering me while I straighten out my life at 40. 2) the money to pay for a crown after the root canal, 3) my friend for being open and receiving to reconnecting when I thought all would be lost if I tried reaching out to people again. 4) That even though I did not work out yesterday today is a new day and I can try again.
Things I did today that I can take pride in for improving my fitness: 1) Ate on-plan all day except for bedtime snack that was two tortillas and some cheese because that was all that sounded edible, 2) Got work on my crown started so that I will be whole and able to resume fitness activities and eat healthy food, 3) went to bed on time, 4) Made sure my dog ate and went on 2 walks. I take better care of myself when I take care of her. 5) kept my objectives for the day realistic. 6) worked on my tracking sheets.
Selfless act: Filled out customs forms for any soldier care packages. Let other people in line in front of me.
Obstacles: Money, time management, pain, loneliness, overwhelm
Vision of what life will be like when I am fit: There is a guy on OKcupid that I am chatting with who seems almost too perfect to be into me. When I have achieved my fitness level that will be one less thing I think about that makes me "not good enough" for someone... or worry that I need to find someone who also is not physically fit because they will accept me as I am.
My intention for today: Close out the week on a high note.
How I will work heroically today: I will take the care packages to the post office. I will fill out the EDD benefits form and apply for at least 3 jobs today. I will go to the church potluck tonight and make new friends. I will come home early and go to bed on time so I can be up at 7 to go to the church workout at 8am. I will clear more space in the living room so I can do the whole simplyfit board exercise video... or I will find a rug remnant so I can do it outside.
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Poked the EDD again on job retraining. Trying to do Software QA this time. 6 week job retraining program with placement assistance.
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Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
A little off track today. Was up at 7:30... Went to the dentist and it is a long drive there and back with a lot of traffic in between. Waiting for 7pm to drive back... and I!ve been on the road home since 3!!! I'm going to ask for an earlier appointment than 1:30 next time. Bleh. Have everything to work out with me but super wiped. All the driving? At least I have a big bag of broccoli and another of sweet potatoes in the cooler. Grrr get after it.
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Have a potluck tomorrow and I am not sure what to bring. Has to be a cold or room temperature dish because I don't want to have to stick around at home to make anything or clean anything up.
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Made a first stab at rebuilding friendships by calling Kelly tonight. I haven't talked to her for a year? More? It occurred to me that this idea that I have no friends anymore might be because I made it that way. We had a nice chat for about half an hour and it made me feel a little less lonely.
Also fixed my icloud account. Maybe my calendar will synch now.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
Today is definitely an exercise in mindset and psychology over patterns and phobias. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night after another round from The Circus. Doesn't matter what it was, I did not do my bedtime habits or get to bed on time. I had a hard time waking up (either I can't function on less than 7 hours or that's how long it takes my prescription sleep aid to wear off) and didn't get my eyes open / stop hitting snooze till 7:30. This meant I was already 2h late for my day. It also meant that I hit the edd office an hour after I meant to. It didn't really matter but I wasn't meeting standards I had set for myself and so I woke up berating myself and that made me start to spiral. It was definitely a process to tell myself to knock it off, put my big girl pants on and get over it. I am safe and secure for the time being. I have a plan and a program and I just need to stick to it and be within 80% or better the whole week. That I managed to get up an hour earlier than I did yesterday and I need to cut myself some slack because I am recovering from a really, really big abcess and accompanying infection and that is going to take some time. That I am working hard to take my supplements and eat on program and that in a week or two I will feel so much better and the weird dragginess is probably from all the ramen, bread, pizza, rice, mashed potatoes and other crap I ate when I couldn't swallow or chew. That I ate on track yesterday, and even made my parents a nice dinner of tri tip and broccoli. That today I have done 3 of my 10 daily actions right so far... 2 meals (power oatmeal + coffee, eggs + broccoli + sweet potato) and supplement stack. That last night was Tuesday and I made it to the DA meeting and I started my share with saying thank you to the people running the meeting and that I appreciate them being there and making the effort to have all the literature and that the other meeting I went to didn't have it and that made ot easier to tackle some of the prework, and I really appreciate all the work they do to keep the doors open and because they were there I was able to make a better health decision and I went to a real dentist and it was too far gone for a dental school and could have been so much worse and I feel somuch better and I didn't realize how sick I was... like a frog in a pot. Then I paid cash to order the books and it perked up the organizer and made him feel better. That today is Wednesday and there is a free track workout down at the high school and it is the perfect opportunity to time myself running a mile. That I feel emotionally out of sorts because I forgot to take my vyvanse this morning and this spinny scary feeling is partially withdrawl because I am chemically dependent. That if I go home and take it right now I will feel better. Then I can restart the day. So I did. Iwent home, ignored The Circus, took my meds and ate my meal prep, and had a hot shower and a good cry. I then leashed my dog to my ankle so she couldn't do her door rattling routine, took some advil and excedrin to see if I could make it through today without codeine and laid down for an hour to let everything kick in and my blood sugar come back up... and you know what??? It worked and I feel so much better. I can go out today and tear it up.
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Bedtime meditation for yesterday because i was too tired.
3 grats - 1) the people at the da meeting for beating the drum and keeping the doors open. 2) my friend pat for wanting to see a movie with me. Morale boost that helped me get my edd application in. Doesn't matter that she had car troubles and had to cancel. 3) that i feel better and can do more. I put together perfect tri tip and cleaned up after like it was zero effort.
Pride in fitness efforts - i did 9/10 on mon and 8/10 on Tuesday
Selfless act - got the treats for the any soldier care packages into ziplock bags and also pulled together hot sauce and other condiments. Now I just need to mail them today. I also picked up trash off the ground where I went to eat my lunch and left it better than I found it.
Success for today: get the care packages in the mail, write my personal statement for the application, fix the screen door (can't get my head around that task). Time myself running a mile.
What Life will be like when i am fit: i will be up at 5 and drinking coffee while it is still cool out. I will have bandwidth to joke and play. I will have the rigor of discipline over my emotions and not spin out but be cool to take action.
Mantra: 10 fitness actions today, every day.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
Used my simplyfit knockoff board to do their 21day challenge video last night. It didn't feel like much of a workout but I got really sore and had a hard time getting to sleep after. Still sore this morning and up later than I would like... 8:30. Fitbit says I got 7+ hours but it feels like 4. Took a hot shower but starting slow out of the gate today.
Too tired to do bedtime meditation last night.
My intention for today is balance.
My fitness pride yesterday was that I did 8 of 10 key fitness activities (meals, supplements, workouts, meditation) despite challenges from The Circus, and that I did 3 of 5 personal business items that were critical.
My obstacles were: pain, recovery from tooth infection that made me woozy, adhd sensory overwhelm (everything too loud, too bright, too distracting to focus).
My heroic vision for today: Get critical things done for the edd, then meet my friend for $5 movies, and hopefully still make the DA meeting tonight.
My selfless act was going to the post office to get boxes for the any soldier care packages and giving my mom my chicken cesar salad from Costco for dinner and my dad a rotisserie chicken meal I had prepped. Both were already accounted for in my calorie plan for this week but I will make it up later. It wasn't my night to make dinner but they wore themselves out doing The Circus today and weren't up to figuring out dinner. I wasn't well enough to cook.
My 3 things I am thankful for 1) I found my checkbook, 2) I didn't actually lose my wallet, 3) my mom helped me not lose a key domain registration after I thought I lost my wallet and cancelled my credit cards by letting me use hers to do a 1 year renewal for $13.95 on her card... my whole life would have been toast and the deadline was today and it wouldn't take my emergency gift card!!! Only registered cards. 4) my dog ate most of her dinner last night, ending a hunger strike.
My vision for what life will be like when I am fit: I will have better focus and attention. I will recover faster emotionally. I will have more energy, take fewer breaks and be more effective with my day. I will be able to fit in fun and get to sleep faster. I will have more capacity for friendships, relationships and kin keeping. I will have more will power and be more in alignment with God/primary values.
Progress as of today: 78.2 lbs lost so far, only 49.8 lbs to go!
nice of you and so thoughtful for the soldier care packages.
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Sounds like a plan!!!
:-) Love how on-target you always are. Reminds me to be.
horn_of_plenty on 04/06/2018:
Keep it Simple Stupid is the name of the game! The simpler, usually the easier it is to remain on track!!!
But, you will not buy any veggies!?
I was crazy hungry the other day and the only thing I needed was spinach... so I bought an ENORMOUS bag... A normal bag is only like 2 servings and I'm eating 2 cups of spinach or broccoli at every meal, 6 meals a day... that's 84 cups a week. But it doesn't last long once you open the bag so I figure that I'll just get the veggies next trip.
Donkey on 04/06/2018:
Go get 'em!!! Donkey is cheering you ON!
TY!
graindart on 04/06/2018:
The more successful days in a row you can get, the more addicting it can become. A few weeks ago I was at a point where I was wavering. (I still have certain days that I question whether it's worth it or not.) But today I'm on a successful 24th day in a row for food intake & exercise. Seeing the number go up daily helps keep me motivated because I really don't want to go back to zero again.
Nice! That's the Seinfeld theory of productivity... Don't break the chain.
bearcountrygg on 04/06/2018:
OKAY...a Granny warning here...did you know that eating spinach daily can cause kidney stones??????
Ok. Will break it up with broccoli, kale, and arugula