forums directory search about DD
or Join for Free!
Recent Diary Entries
Jacky82020 13 hrs
SomeFineDayToo 14 hrs
SomeFineDay 15 hrs
Donkey 18 hrs
Maisy! 19 hrs
Horn_Of_Plenty 20 hrs
happy-1 22 hrs
DDwebmasterKids 1 days
Rainbow! 1 days
InnerPeace 3 days
legcramps 5 days
Brett 5 days
Salamander 5 days
KathyBlue 5 days
Coffee&Calories 16 days
test1 8/24
DDwebmaster 8/20
caystown 8/17
Becca27 1/26
little_one 1/02
Supercheese 9/08
mulli 7/21
StarStickers 4/25
thinkpositive 2/28
Cassie2020 2/11

Recent Forum Topics
DD maintenance - 6:31A 22-Aug

Measurements and weights - 11:14A 28-Oct

Certificate Expiration - DD webmaster :) - 7:51A 7-Oct

New spammer - 4:36A 21-Jul

Virtual Challenges - 6:56A 11-Jul

Spam removed - 9:07P 23-Mar

view happy-1 bio page
happy-1 - Tuesday May 22, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Starting my post over today. A little under the weather today. In a bit of conflict because I vacumed my moms room. Also I am a little low becaus eI have to back out of helping a friend get to an MRI. She booked an appointment for the weekend I am dog sitting and I can't get back to drive her because I can't get the dogs covered that Sunday.


Attacked the middle bedroom today and cleared that closet (mostly). Made a big mess of the dining room and living room, but first step in getting out of the living room has been taken. I figure I'll just keep pulling stuff out everytime they leave the house and putting my stuff in until there's just a big pile of stuff in the living room and my bed is in the bedroom. Fingers crossed.

Found a black suit size 16 from when I graduated college in 2000. I will try it on after a shower and see if it fits. So exciting.


I have a real closet now and I celebrated with an epsom salt bath for aches and pains. I also set out my breakfast and packed my bag for tomorrow. I deserve a fabulous breakfast out and a spot to attack paperwork.


B: oatmeal, coffee

S: bag of chicken wings from trader joes

L: half a pizza

S: frozen yogurt

S: 1/4 of a pizza

S: 2 corn tortilla quesedilla, stevia lemonade

(Lots of stress eating here... and because I haven't meal prepped for a couple of weeks... glad I moved the tv to the kitchen so I am less tempted to sit and space out... this way I only get to watch tv if I am cooking or standing up and eating. Mom is not happy about this. Also not working out. Thinking about a 24hour fitness membership. Space and a place to go to work out.)

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/22/2018:
Hope you feel better.

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:

Donkey on 05/22/2018:
Tough day.... hang in there :-(

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
Ty. Crazy hoarder ****. At least I found a couple of clothing items I can wear and my friend says she'll help me sell other stuff on poshmark. And now I have a closet and don't have to get dressed in the bathroom, lol!

graindart on 05/23/2018:
Gym membership might be a good idea, but only if you'll actually use it.

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
I hate 24h fitness but it is the one closest to my house. Working out at home hasn't worked because it is too much motion in the house and starts conflicts over other unrelated things. It basically wakes my parents up out of whatever dream-like state they are in and reminds them that there was something they wanted me to do I haven't done yet. A gym membership would be better

horn_of_plenty on 05/23/2018:
sorry you can't help your friend get there...maybe she can take public transportation??

your work should usually come first, in my opinion...unless the friend is so close that it's truly worth losing a paycheck for...i've gone to an MRI myself...they don't put you to sleep or anything..

i forgot how close in age we are, i graduated college in 2004 :)

the one thing good about 24hr fitness is it's convenient if it is really open 24/7!

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
They sedate her because she has panic attacks. So she could uber there but it is risky going home.

Its not the paycheck... i only charge her $20 a night. It's that I made that commitment first. It's like prom, if you say yes to one person you don't ditch that commitment to do something or go with someone else.

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
They sedate her because she has panic attacks. So she could uber there but it is risky going home.

Its not the paycheck... i only charge her $20 a night. It's that I made that commitment first. It's like prom, if you say yes to one person you don't ditch that commitment to do something or go with someone else.

happy-1 on 05/23/2018:
Yeah, have been thinking about the more expensive all-sport membership because the sport ones have pools and I like to swim a lot.

happy-1 - Monday May 21, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

So interview test is done and sent out. I did the best I could. They wanted to see old work and that wasn't possible because I just don't hang on to past work anymore. I did a writeup on thejoin flow to happy first experience for one of their brands and then included a template for figuring out what the ROI for revenue would be. It's all I could do and it ran almost 50 pages... but I followed the format they gave us at the product management class I took and I hope it was enough to move to the next round at least.

And most importantly I remembered to tell the recruiter this morning that I was on track to deliver at the scheduled time or shortly before it. And even more importantly I sent it out an hour before I said I would so it had time to be there on time for the recruiter to send it out.

In order to accomplish this, I had to ignore my dad's ranting and raging last night till 3am and his fuming and attempt to start again this morning. It's so mean I know but Starbucks wasn't going to work I got up too late to shower and dress and still make the cutoff. And you can't say Dad I have to finish this test... I need a job and have him table it... he won't stop and take a step back. He just says I don't care, you ruin everything and make everyone miserable and I want ________ to happen so do it now. With the microwave he was after me to help him or fix it. With my old tea kettle it was constant "This isn't turning off by itself anymore, why isn't it turning off" 3-4 times a day. And replacing both so I could try to get my work done on time... worked??? It was hell but I got it done.

They went out, I think to buy a microwave my dad likes better. Mazeltov. I'm dying my roots and taking a shower and finding something to eat. Then I will walk my dog and if they aren't home yet I will see if I can move that file cabinet out to the living room.

One foot forward. Dog responsibilities. Hair, nails, teeth bleach, pedicure. Gym, tan, laundry. Mail, budget, spending, legal. One foot in front of the other.

Mantra: I will be consistent even when I am tired.


B: oatmeal, coffee, half and half.

L: black bean/brown rice/cheese/sour cream burrito bowl

Skipped all meals till 4:30. Just nose to grindstone.

A ridiculous amount of frozen yogurt.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 05/21/2018:
Sounds all productive - watch yourself while tanning !

Mantra seems ok - try to get sleep though so being tired doesn't cause you to make bad choices - at least for me if I don't get sleep dieting becomes much harder !!!!

Good job on your interview - 50 pages is a ton of prep!

bearcountrygg on 05/22/2018:
You got your work done...I'm sure it wasn't easy but you did it. Meals look good too!

happy-1 - Sunday May 20, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

225.5. Normal weight fluctuation. Scale moving in the right direction though...

Woke up at 7, skipped church to clean the kitchen so I don't have any accidental $30 food days this week and then got to lunch with friends at 1. Then I headed out to Costco to replace the microwave (I have lost 12 hours in 3 days to the stupid broken microwave drama and this morning was a nightmare. Both my parents were complaining and barking at me while I was cleaning up for 4h... AAAAAUGH SERENITY NOW). It's 4:30 and I am chilling at Starbuks and working on my interview test.

Today I risked the weight loss speed vs how soon I need it game and bought a paddle suit in a size L (think a one piece swimsuit to wear over your two piece with long sleeves as a rashguard that won't ride up). Not totally sold on it because there's no hood and it's not a bright color (safety)... but it was $40 and you have to just grab it when you see something at Costco and return it later. 


Crazy lady at starbucks ended my time at that workspace. They were open till 12 but I had to bail at 7:30. Aaargh


Ruined my purchase of the new bathroom faucet microwave and electric kettle by saying when my mom asked me "Why did you buy that? It's a waste of money!" that "Dad keeps complaining that they don't work and I don't know how or have rhe bandwidth to fix them and I can't listen to it anymore." My dad got really upset and said that I steal all good feeling and just make him miserable. Got yelled at for a good 30 min by my dad. UGH.


Yep, it's war. Dad is going to make me absolutely miserable until something major happens and he switches back to my mom. I am feeling that cbd oil for people i saw online. I'm running away and never coming home again.


Dad kept me up till 3 am hounding me about the microwave. I finally had to wake up my mom and ask her to run interference for me so I could sleep and wake up to finish the interview test.


B: Too much fro yo, orange drink

S: piece of string cheese. apple slices

L;  burger lettuce wrap, sweet potato fries, coffee halfn half

S: Starbucks brownie, moral support :-)

S: 4 chicken tenders from food4less deli. Saved the rest for my pup.

D: Turkey bacon sandwich at starbucks. Earl grey rea w half n half, cake pop.

S: i kind of forget what I ate after I got home. I think it was two cheese sticks. Then after my dad woke me up I went and got frozen yogurt. Why is there so much peace of mind at the bottom of frozen yogurt?



Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/20/2018:
Costco is great...I really miss that store!!!

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Yeah... couldn't pass up some hummus cups, paleo granola, and hummus cups... or dog treats! Thou shalt not run out of dog treats!!!!

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
and blueberries

Donkey on 05/21/2018:
Looks like a good eating day. I'm sorry about the war at home. I've had them too. Our dinner table is a battlefield...

happy-1 - Saturday May 19, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Helping instructor get class back on track after throwing him to the wolves with his boss and the EDD. Forcing him to do a 5 hour class and also to take breaks... I am glad I packed double food. He is diabetic with an A1C of 7.5 that has been 9 and higher and his plan was to order a pizza for lunch. Sugar crash for sure. I packed a bunch of snacks for the class because I felt like an ****, then decided not to bring them in because I have nothing to apologize for... but am super glad I did because he just doesn't have the physical endurance to teach a class for 5 hours.

Poor guy. I'm going to make him do the job he is being paid for, but I'll help him do it as much as I can.


Oh the joys of having to force an instructor to do his ****ing job! He actually said he doesn't want this job! Asking for a different instructor to finish the class. I had to hand hold him the whole way through writing up a course outline, and then actually complete the lesson today and he bailed an hour and a half early. We only did a 20 min break for lunch and he thought that was too long and if I hadn't forced him to break by standing up and leaving to go to the bathroom, he wouldn't have done it.

And It was hearbreaking because I can tell he's got diabetic brain fog setting in.


B- oatmeal without the chia/hemp/ flax mix in because I am out, frozen yogurt with dark chocolate coconut chips. Holy **** that's good. Had two bowls.

S: mcdonalds sugar free coffee, egg white sausage bowl

S: hummus, carrots, 2 hard boiled eggs

S: hummus, carrots, water

L: baja salad bag, turkey, cheese stick

S: sugar free vanilla latte, strawberry rhubarb mini muffin from us foods

S: bag of honey roasted peanuts. Yum

Ms: 1/2 cup mac n cheese, 1 cheese stick, sweet potato crackers

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
Well...you took the bull by the horns didn't you?

happy-1 on 05/19/2018:
I tripped the edd by asking my caseworker how to represent a class that's supposed to be 85h (40 in class) as a 1.5h class without triggering an audit and it all just went haywire.

Donkey on 05/20/2018:
Great eating day - well done! Good for you for calling them out on this!

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Yeah... this is painful.

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Yeah... this is painful.

Horn_of_plenty on 05/20/2018:
a 5 hour class does need at least one break if not more! that's a long class.

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Right? But he resents taking breaks.

happy-1 - Friday May 18, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Today was sooo fubar. Ack. So tired... and the microwave not working stole 2h of my time because my dad keeps bugging my mom about going out for a hamburger so she keeps bugging me and I should go out but I just can't because I'm sleep deprived and crampy. And my dad is mad at me because I ate the last of the frozen yogurt I BOUGHT.



B: Coffee, half and half

S: denver omlete, cheese, diet coke

S: piece of toast w cottage cheese

L: Beans/Rice/potatoes/cheese/sour cream, avocado, diet coke

S: frozen yogurt

D: Mac n cheese, broccoli, tomato, turkey burger

Emotional and hormonal after dinner eating... Huge amounts of frozen yogurt. But at least shark week has come and I feel better. Omg. I have to have a serious discussion w God on the unfairness of hormones.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

graindart on 05/19/2018:
Haven't had frozen yogurt in quite awhile. Used to love TCBY's blackberry cheesecake froyo. But I think TCBY closed about 10 years ago here......

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
It's probiotic so it's legal on my nutrition plan once a week. I don't think I was supposed to buy 4 gallons because I had to buy 4 to get yhe discount but omg I just want froyo every minute of every day.

Maria7 on 05/19/2018:
The serenity prayer goes a long, long way for me, too. Glad you reminded me of it today cause I really needed it today, too. :-)

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Yeah especially when you yell it super loud and punch something!

bearcountrygg on 05/19/2018:
Denver omlette sounds good...

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Omg soooooooo good. It was the perfect diner omlette... heart attack on a plate and yum.

Donkey on 05/19/2018:
I hope today is a better day. Today is a new day. (At least that's what I had to remind myself of this morning.)

happy-1 on 05/20/2018:
Yes. Every morning just get up and embrace the suck, eat the frog, do the hardest thing you have to do and conquer.

happy-1 - Thursday May 17, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

228.4, but that's still normal weight fluctuation. I tried on my new underwear this morning and was shocked that it fit... Only a size L. It has been so long since I have put on anything that wasn't the size of a car cover, I almost fell over in shock. I'm in "normal range" physically.

Getting today off on the right foot. Was up at 7, did my hair, drank my coffee (with half n half, but I'll work my way back to coconut creamer once my habits are on track), ate my power overnight oats, and fixed all my alarm settings.

Gave my dog one 4mg CBD oil treat first thing and was thrilled she ate her vitamin supplements straight away without any complaint. My dog kind of restlessly moves from place to place when I am trying to focus so I gave her a second CBD oil treat and she is snoozing at my feet on her dog bed. I hope this lasts a few hours.

It's almost 9am. Gathering my thoughts here.

  1. Interview is at 12 so my next 3h are researching the company
  2. Then I will sort out the EDD
  3. Afterwards, I will scratch the itch of reorganizing the freezer and fridge, put my last tray of frozen chicken thighs on to broil, and setup meal preps
  4. Not happening: Then I will put coolers in my car and hit the cigar bar to do homework... maybe checkout a dog-friendly brewery to see what the vibe is on a Thursday night vs a Friday night to figure out if I want to do a meetup there. There is also a burgher place nearby to look in on
  5. Instead: I will sit at home and do homework.
  6. I will go to bed on time tonight so I can be up on time to get K and take her to her MRI
  7. On my way home I will go food shopping. Friday is good for this because all the sales have switched over for the week

Things I will not think about right now:

  • My evil monster ex who I am supposed to see tomorrow.
  • All the personal paperwork I haven't done that is waiting to explode in my face like a bomb.

Grrr. Get after it.  Forgive me, but I'm staying on track by posting here.




Phone screen down. They want a case study. Aaack. Haven't saved anything old.


Disqualified on interview yesterday. Experience not a match. Which is true. Ah, well.


Attacked the fridge and made lunch at the same time... Threw out/recycled anything that was a little iffy or just dregs... the last few drops. I figure it is cheaper to be able to find stuff than have another $30 food day. Between extra plasticware recycling last night and stuff from the fridge, that's like 3 laundry hampers of plastic containers into the recycling bin. Augh.

Took 2 hours!!!!! Only partway through meal prep. Had to stop, shove what I hadn't gone through yet in a box and sit down and take a break. I swear I did this recently, but it was completely disgusting. It took forever to do very little.


Asked EDD caseworker how to fill out the UI form and opened up a hornets nest with the school. Instead of doing homework, I get to do a writeup of the class instruction issues and explain why I only have 6-7 hours of instruction completed when I should have 38.

So now I get to spend my evening writing up the issue, which is fine because the instructor didn't send the files I needed to do my homework anyway.


B - 7.30 - Power oatmeal, coffee, half n half

S - Kellogs crustless quiche, 2 cups spinach, 1/2 a small yam, butter I think. might have been margerine.

L - Chicken,1/2 a small yam, butter, 2 cups spinach.

S - 3pm and fridge cleanout was a mess. grabbed a frozen cheese pizza and split it with my dad.

D - (Botched dinner, fixing and serving tomorrow) 2 corn tortillas and some cheddar cheese. 2 cups of spinach and butter. That was then joined by my magically cured cuban black beans and brown salsa rice. And some cheese, avocado, sour cream, and a veggie burger. I don't want to think about the calories

S - A LOT of fudge vanilla swirl froyo. Topped with... Packet of butter finger bites, frozen!

MS - I don't know how many more corn tortilla quesedillas. 8 tortillas, olive oil, and cheese. I have to count how many are left.



Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2018:
Well...that's a full day...should make for a good activity level.

horn_of_plenty on 05/17/2018:
yes, agreed, a very productive day indeed! good luck at your interview and good meals and great cleaning!

keep up the productivity!

Donkey on 05/17/2018:
"Took forever to do very little" -- Isn't that kind of what losing weight is like?

I'm proud of you - you're out there doing what needs to get done.

happy-1 - Wednesday May 16, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

No weigh in. Too off track to pull that together. Went out to a meetup w a friend yesterday and had fun. Then I stayed up till 1 am watching tv w my mom. I need to put that outdoor timer back. I took it off while dog sitting but time to put it back. Sleep meds keep me down for exactly 9h and so I didn't wake up till 10, meds kicked in at 11 then it took me 1.5 h to get my things in order ao I can start my day. Starting my journal here helps keep me on track...

The meetup was fun and K said I needed new jeans... apparently that pound I just lost was all butt fat because my jeans were hanging in the back like I had been wearing enormous butt enhancers and taken them out. Almost comical. We went to H&M and I found 2 interview outfits (2 black pants, vibrant blue shirt, vibrant green button down shirt) and a presentable dress. No jeans though. I will have to keep looking. H&M sizing is really weird. I was a 14 on top and an 18 on the bottom. I hope those aren't real 18s that are going to start expanding as I wear them. Kind of alarming and at $127 way more than I can spend on anything iffy. I am sad to see my jeans go into the "too big" bag because I always felt sexy in them and the destroyed styling made them really comfy.

Today I need to respond to my job interview from yesterday and tackle personal paperwork and get ready for a job interview tomorrow at 12.


Brain refuses to get in like today. Kitchen is in too much chaos to cook in... it needs a third full day of sorting out to be able to get actual meals prepped in there. Aaaaargh. Ran out and bought lunch today.


Got the interview question response together. At least my brain worked that much. Other than that though I am just too hungry to think straight when I am at home. I have a phone screen tomorrow I am not prepared for but I just need to get up early to take care of it.

I literally couldn't think all day today because I was so hungry and the kitchen was so daunting. I ended up spending roughly $30 on food today because I ate one meal out and then had mostly prepared foods. After my mom went to bed, I attacked it. I put a bunch of extra / odd size / not tight sealing plastic containers in the recycling bin... praying my mom doesn't catch me. I also cleaned the kitchen, washed 3 sinkfuls of dishes, started meal prep for memorial day weekend, cleaned the shared bathroom, did a load of laundry, and changed the couch cover.

Tomorrow I need to get up and out early to focus on interview prep, then reorganize the freezer and fridge and set up meal prep for the week. Even if I don't have everything I need to do it I can at least get started by breaking what I do have into single servings so it is more accessible, sort recipe ingredients into aluminum trays, and make a shopping list.

No more $30 food days that are bad but quasi healthy. Augh. I could have seen a movie or had a night out.


B: protein cookie, pack of roasted peanuts, water

L: double cheeseburger lettuce wrap, sweet potato fries, water

S: protein ice cream... 20g of protein for 330 cal!

S: another protein ice cream, cheaper than another meal out.

D: jacks frozen pizza

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/16/2018:
I hate it when I wear out or out grow favorite clothes too......I can have a closet full....but that one special thing is just so hard to let go of.

happy-1 on 05/16/2018:
Yeah... I put a bunch of stuff in the bag along with the jeans today, made me sad. I blew $40 on new underwear to go with it... can't have them escaping anymore!

happy-1 on 05/16/2018:
But my actual dress size measurements haven't changed that much. I must be losing in between the bust/hips/waist right now.... deflating them.

Donkey on 05/16/2018:
Good luck on tomorrow's interview!!

PS "Enormous butt enhancers" -- LOL!!!

happy-1 on 05/17/2018:
I could always save my pants for smuggling a couple of hams...

bearcountrygg on 05/17/2018:
LOL :>)

happy-1 on 05/17/2018:
Nooo it was bad... I can understand why K made me skip the movie and go shopping.

happy-1 - Tuesday May 15, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

No weigh in. Can't take it today... Date last night was soul-killing on a meta level. I don't think guys really check out profiles. I could tell as soon as I walked up that he was startled by my height, or maybe my pictures from a couple of months ago aren't current anymore.... but I am only 5lbs lighter and my hair is the same so go figure... I went along to be polite, but knew he wanted out. He was shocked when I asked for separate checks... I guess women don't do that... I said I thought it's just a hello, I'm sorry I didn't realize it was a date... I don't expect anything from a first meetup.... Like if you have a decent conversation maybe then you go on a date. I guess I just get really nervous meeting new people and I need some time to warm up and I try not to put any extra pressure on myself. We had a nice enough conversation. He's in his 40s, skinny, withdrawn. He said he used to be an alcoholic and weighed 200lbs, but fixed that by switching to caffeine-free diet coke. Apparently he also used to hang out at the drag-racing circuit. There's something about the sobered up party boys that just isn't any fun. They are kind of flat somehow.

Anyway this morning I sent "Hey! It was good to meet you. It kind of seemed like you didn't think I matched my profile. So that I can do better, would you mind giving me a couple of tips on what either didn't match or what I could do better?"

No answer. Crickets.




After I got home from my date last night, I tried to wash mybig 5 day cooler out in the tub. It slipped and knocked me on the bridge of my nose. My eyes are puffy but no black bruises. I got lucky with my lucky shot. Killer headache though. All I can think about is how bad I wish I had a gel eye mask. I have ice packs but something I can just tie on and hold in place...




Up: ? I had a hard time getting out of bed.

? - coffee w vanilla coffeemate creamer. Need to hit grocer. Prepped oatmeal but can't get head around eating it.

? - 2 cheese quesedillas, water.

1:20ish - Burrito bowl (homemade) before 1:30pm phone screen.


Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/15/2018:
That's too bad that the meet up didn't workout....there is a lot of pressure on everyone in the online dating world...My oldest son tried eharmony...and a friend did also...and they were both relieved when their 10 dates were over...neither one met anyone there that worked out.

Hope you don't get black eyes...that would be the pits.

Donkey on 05/15/2018:
I'm sorry the "date" was a bust. I do like your approach of just a meet-up and THEN a date if the guy makes the cut. Nothing wrong with that!

Along with Bear, I hope you don't get a black eye :-( That would be rather depressing... on top of depressing. :-(

horn_of_plenty on 05/16/2018:
that's kind you asked for separate checks so he didn't have to pay if you say he just wanted out?

sorry you had to sit thru the date...this is why i don't really date or even make time for it. it's not fun for me!

however, if i were dating a lot, i wouldn't mind the guy paying???? why don't you just save your cash if you date a lot!?

happy-1 on 05/16/2018:
I don't want to feel like I owe a guy anything. I feel like if they pay I'm obligated... It's not the same after 40... They really expect something out of you.

happy-1 - Monday May 14, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Back up to 226. Normal weight fluctuation after weight loss, but it still made me sad. Still, I ate more or less on track yesterday and made a point to start my day off well, and last night I set myself up for success today with overnight oats and coffee all set up to go. I also made dog food for the week and washed most of the dishes.

Today I will do my hair and makeup and otherwise get date-ready then head down to my favorite Corner Bakery to do homework before I go meet a guy off JustOKcupid. He picked a beach bar and grill at 7 which sounds fun. Might go a little early to catch sunset.


I liked the meu daily challenge... would love to know how you would answer it... "Name 1 healthy activity that you do to help manage stress.. List one healthy activity that you do to minimize or manage stress in your life. Here are a few to get you started: take a walk, knit, jog, play with a pet, soak in a bubble bath, clean, or hug a friend. For most people, there's no way around having at least some stress. But having healthy ways to counteract it can make all the difference! When we take part in activities that we like, it helps to boost our endorphins, feel-good chemicals that our bodies make naturally. When you're distracted and doing something you like, it's also harder to worry about things that might be stressing you out, another bonus. Celebrities who have publicly proclaimed their love for knitting include Meryl Streep, Cameron Diaz, and Russell Crowe."

My answer was: "This is easy, dog walks. Sometimes I am too stressed to go, and I forget that it actually helps... but I go and I enjoy the walk by watching my dog enjoy the walk and all my stress slides off and I am free to tackle the things that make me stressed. I also journal daily in an online journal."


Today a recruiter asked "What have you done since the layoff at ****** company?" I said a stupid answer.... "Since ****** closed their North American office and did the layoff, I have done a contract at **** (BA/QA Analyst) and I am currently in a QA class at *******. I also have taken up hiking/HITT workouts and lost 92lbs... Not sure if that's relevant to their question, but it's what I have been doing while looking for work. I go to a bootcamp up in ****** and do the online challenge."

No answer. Crickets.


Bouncing back from the bad answer I sent the recruiter by booking spots on two group car  camping trips... Idywild and Death Valley. Get me out of here and out in nature before I explode!

Both are in September... But mentally I am already there.


6am - oatmeal, coffee

Spaced out and missed 2 meals

3pm - burrito bowl w chicken thigh, beans, brown rice, cheese, avocado

4pm - protein cookie

5:50 - Rotisserie chicken mom brought home... snuck some to my dog and she is rewarding me by sleeping on my feet. Aaaaaaah.... warm doggie fur.

8:30pm - cheeseburger lettuce wrap, a couple of sweet potato fries, but I brought most of them home to eat later today

10:30pm - post-nightmare-date-binge: 2 cheese quesedillas, caramel trail mix, dark chocolate cherries, a mint smart-ice-cream pop. My emotions: A lot of self-pity, bottomless-pit-loneliness, hopelessness, rejection, desperation, and self-hatred.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
Some times it takes up to 4 days to see a scale change.......you ate salt....it is probably just water.

I vote for a Epsom salt bath......

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
Yes... with lavender oil. Or just a ton of water!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
I mean drink a ton of water

Donkey on 05/14/2018:
My healthy activity to reduce stress is to walk.

Your weigh-in really spoke to me. That's EXACTLY how I feel. I know it's normal, but when the numbers go up, it's so disheartening.

I hope you have a nice date tonight.

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
TY! Wearing a nice handkerchief dress I got at a yard sale. Good to put it into use!

Donkey on 05/14/2018:
PS I love your answer to the recruiter!!!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
Yeah I had all these plans for my time off but I made fitness a priority... and that's all I am accomplishing and that is even a daily fight. I am pretty stoked to be looking at size 14/16s at Ann Taylor and Banana Republic, even though I am on a NY&Co budget!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2018:
speaking of packing your bike for next time, Queens sucks. I already have a flat tire and used my bike approx 3-4 times total :-( i think there are special tire tubes that cannot be punctured as easily by nails...

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
Or you can just put green slime from the auto store in them so they self seal as you roll. Slows you down a little but easy fix.

horn_of_plenty on 05/15/2018:
so frustrating, my breaks are also way too noisy like an 18 wheeler, so going back to the repairman this weekend.

happy-1 on 05/15/2018:
Augh, find a bicycle repair workshop where you learn how to do your own repairs. What part of NY are you in.

happy-1 - Sunday May 13, 2018
(Complete 80% or better of 16 health acts a day)
Weight: 224.3

Weight loss!!!! About a pound? How is that possible since this past week I ate 4 pizzas, tons of protein ice cream, bag of tortillas, milk chocolate, and otherwise went to hell with myself?

I guess it's the puppy diet.


Fitbit says I did an average 7 miles a day last week... just in the living room


My dog is soo happy to be home. So much less shedding and so chill. She started rattling my dad's dog gate this morning and I gave her a cbd oil treat and she chilled out and is flopped over at my feet. Oh I hope I have a solution to the crazy ocd gate rattling... omg.


I liked the daily challenge on meu today.... write down 5 things that make you happy. "Whether browsing the bookstore's new arrivals or planting your favorite flowers, no activity is too small to be on your happiness list. List five favorite activities, and if you like, you can make a date with yourself to do one of them this week. Research shows that you can learn to be happier and more satisfied with your life, even if you're not someone who usually looks on the bright side. By writing a list of things that make you happy, you bring attention to the positive aspects of your life."

Mine are: 1. Dog sitting. Love the challenge of combining my dog with another dog and the mental challenge of figuring out that dog.

2. Trying a new recipe. Mental challenge of making something new.

3. Filling out my habit tracking worksheets. Feeling "on track".

4. Snorkeling, bodyboarding, paddleboarding.

5. Bicycling.


After the hassle of 6 different stores to find my mom a good lounge dress, I am glad I picked the navy blue one with flamingos from Pennys. My mom loves it, she looks great, I should have gotten two... And most importantly it is long enough so I never have to see where I came from again!


11 - B - protein cookie, the kitchen was too messy for making food

Didn't eat... was digging things out, trying to put things right. Got too hungry, ran out for a burger.

3pm - L - double cheeseburger lettuce wrap, sweet potato fries, ranch dressing

6:30pm - two whole wheat quesedillas, stevia punch

7:30 pm - salad, yam, chicken thighs, water.

10pm - 3 cups broccoli with too much irish butter but it was yum

All day - tons of frozen yogurt because... um... hungry... and probiotic.

Progress as of today: 92.7 lbs lost so far, only 18.3 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 05/13/2018:
Congrats on the loss....!!!! No matter how surprised you were...those kinds of losses are even more fun!!! Happiness can come in all size packages....

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
Ty! A pound of fat would be a big package though!

Donkey on 05/13/2018:
That's a good idea, listing 5 things that make me happy. Now you've got me thinking...

WTG on the lost pound :-)

happy-1 on 05/13/2018:
What's your list of 5 things?

bearcountrygg on 05/14/2018:
Great gift choice!!!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
She wants another one for her birthday, lol. Sometimes I get it right!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
And she knew I had bought her one a week ago and was after me for a week to return it!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
But also super proud of myself for having an entire solved and ready before I left on vacation for a week. I bought dinner ingredients for Mothers day on sale a whole week ahead and just had to pull them out while I cleaned up!

Horn_of_plenty on 05/14/2018:
Nice job on the loss...maybe it was a lot of exercise when you went walking with the dogs???

Also, what made you go off plan to eating pizzas and stuff? Did you not have enough food where you were staying or just eating for comfort since you were a little homesick? Maybe next time bring seltzers with sweetener or some other low cal option that'll keep you from bingeing! That's what i did this weekend, lots of low cal drinks to keep my mouth busy. but accidentally still overate on one of the days because not enough veggies there and it was buffet style but with servers so it was hard to limit what i ate...also so much good food, it was hard to turn to everything!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
The dog walks are factored into that stat, but we didn't go that far... He has long legs for a bull dog but he's pretty fat and out of shape. It was mostly chasing after that puppy because he wanted attention, or he was hassling my dog, or he wanted something lost under the couch, or he thought his mom and dad were hiding in the bedroom, or my dog said he was going to pee, or he did pee on something and I had to clean up, or he peed on me, or he wanted out but wouldn't go unless I went with him... or he wanted a treat so I made him do treats. All those steps to chase after him added up. Fitbit says I was active almost every hour he wasn't crated... I had to crate him a couple of times because I was going to lose my mind... but by Friday he was this calm dog and I could pull my brain together. But I am so glad it was that I was actually just super active and not that I am old, fat, sick, and nearly dead. I was freaking out that I am really out of shape or kidney issues are cropping up if just sitting in a new living room makes me that tired. I should have thought to synch my fitbit while I was there.

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
Oops, i mean he wanted treats so I made him do tricks

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
I went off plan even though I had the right foods because I was trying to conserve cooler space for extra ice and didn't pack individual meals... I packed them closely as ingredients. I was just so tired and hungry all the time I couldn't organize my brain cells to make food and when I did I made such a mess it was overwhelming. Plus having two dogs freak out everytime I ate made me dread eating... and I was homesick... so I just had to have pizza.

I go back for memorial day so I will make a meal plan/active plan and start setting meals up ahead of time for that weekend... like veggie pho with shiritaki noodles will be easier if I make recipe starter ice cubes up with ginger, garlic, and scallion whites ahead of time. I saw a "just crack an egg" product for making omlettes I can totally rip off and stash omlette ingredients as single servings to dump in a bowl and heat with an egg. I can make turkey chilli ahead and freeze. I already make up morning oatmeal packets ahead once a month. I do need time away so I will look online and make a list of places to try for burgers instead of hitting the same junky place each time.

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
And I will definitely try your seltzer trick! I like that idea!

happy-1 on 05/14/2018:
I might also call a fitness place I spotted and ask if I can buy a 3 day pass. I might also pack my bike.

[ Previous Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 Next Page ]