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happy-1 - Tuesday Jul 20, 2021
(BP1,4ns,14fs,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,9bed)
Weight: 229.6

Tues July 20, 2021:

Despite letting the cat sleep with me last night, I slept solid. 8:35 total, 2:18 REM rebound sleep last night. Like a flash flood in a desert. Worn out. Spent too much time on Shein today... but after 4pm, I was a vegetable I was so tired. Micro interactions with dad were so negative and toxic that I just went to bed early... at 4:30. But if I am so tired everything he says makes me want to chuck it all... better off hiding in my room, holding onto my fast, dreaming of lovely things and outfits to wear there.

I do legitimately need a few things but I want o make sure I have cleared out all the clothes, shoes, bags, etc here before i buy more. There is a perfect bucket bag on shein I am drooling over... but nothing else i really want to get free shipping. Bah.

  1. BP1, yes, high
  2. 4ns, no
  3. 14fs, yes
  4. 2do, no
  5. 30pln, no
  6. 2.5k@5, yes
  7. 10cr, no, exhausted
  8. 10Kstp, no exhausted
  9. 7w, no 4?
  10. 9bed, yes

Progress as of today: 87.4 lbs lost so far, only 69.6 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/20/2021:
Also, I figure foggy / tired was better but not gone today because ironically too much REM makes you foggy/tired.


KathyBlue on 07/21/2021:
that's a good sleeping time tbh, I sleep less and less and I feel my body still needs 8 hours of sleep. Not 10 anymore, but at least 8. The puppy keeps waking me up around 6 AM and I rarely fall asleep before 10 PM so... meh! Shein, I never tried but I hear it's making competition to Zara! I will have to look into it, but I'm already afraid , ahahah... I've been spending waaaaay too much on exercise clothes... Under Armour is a passion to me, and it's so expensive. I call it "Under Armour OverPriced".

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Look on Sierra Trading Post for cheap UA stuff. Shein is crap quality... but I wasn't looking for the good stuff... We have tar on the beach here.

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Goodwill would have done better, probably, but I just don't have the time and energy for hit/miss.


Donkey on 07/21/2021:
I've heard that about REM, that too much can backfire. I'm pleasantly surprised to hear, though, that you were able to get good sleep with kitty with you. I wish I could say the same. The only cat (Old Kitty) that sleeps with me occasionally, sleeps ON me, usually between my legs or up against my thighs -- I'm a tosser and a turner, and I can't do that with her blocking me. You'd think she'd learn I'm not a good person to sleep on...

I'm sorry to hear that it's been so difficult with dad, but I think you're doing the best thing by cutting all of that off right at the start and doing your best to preserve your own energies.

I love to shop for gym shoes - that's my thing. :-)

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
LOL!!!! That would be impossible!!! Banned for life. I can barely handle that she wants to sleep by my feet instead of in the bed next to my head. Maybe I should flip my head, but I'd have to buy a headboard.


Maria7 on 07/21/2021:
Glad you got caught up on some needed sleep.

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Rain in a desert


bearcountrygg on 07/21/2021:
I had a good nights sleep last night too.....never even got out of bed for a bathroom break...

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Oh the joy!!!!


horn_of_plenty on 07/21/2021:
it's gotta be a challenge to ALWAYS self-motivate at home.

what i mean is, at work even if i'm tired, i cannot totally just take a nap or totally go home....work helps to force the motivation and i assume it's much more challenging to do work at home like you do.

happy-1 on 07/22/2021:
Probably... sigh...



happy-1 - Monday Jul 19, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

Monday July 19, 2021

What a kicker of a day. Enough sleep but higher overnight sugar values kept my body battery from charging. Tired but pushed through, planned my week, did some tasks, then got crosswise with my dad at 3pm and tanked the last of my energy. When I went to do live online yoga, my first down dog told me that not doing neck stretches the last couple of days was going to be an issue... so a causal link... my first one in my habit chain found. Yay, sort of. I used the time to do my neck stretches. Tomorrow is another day.

  1. BP1, yes. Elevated by 1 point
  2. 4ns, yes, but not full pt routine
  3. 2do, yes, but it was light
  4. 30pln, yes, for the week
  5. 2.5k@5, yes on the nose setting up my 14h fast
  6. 10cr, attempted, but no
  7. 10Kstp, no. Not on my list today
  8. 7w, tbd. Half gallon so far
  9. 14fs, no
  10. 9bed, tbd only 6:36 right now

Kitty gave me a chest cuddle AND a lap cuddle and OVERTLY demonstrated that she knows how to do soft paws, just hadn't bothered to until today... that little..

 

 

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

Donkey on 07/20/2021:
That looks like a pretty good day up above, according to your list. I thought of you this morning when I woke up - I actually felt OK/good when I woke up, and not completely trashed or depleted. I'm curious to see what my sleep score is. I've been getting in the low 90% the past 2 days but not feeling it. Feeling more like a C+ than an A-, but this morning, I'd say I felt like a solid A.

"...that little..." --- ha ha ha ha! RIGHT??? Yep, that's a tortie :-)

happy-1 on 07/20/2021:
What did it say?


Jacky82020 on 07/20/2021:
That kitty loves her mommy.

I really need to do some warm stretches. The husband does them, but I get lazy.

happy-1 on 07/21/2021:
She is turning into a delightful little house cat and my constant companion. Only ever about 1 foot away from me. I step on her a lot!


horn_of_plenty on 07/20/2021:
sounds like you made a good decision to do the better of the two: yoga vs neck stretches and neck stretches won!!!

happy-1 on 07/20/2021:
Here here



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 18, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

 For Sunday, july 18, 2021:

"Almost enough sleep" today. Cat swatted my ankles and bit me on my way to bed and landed herself in the bathroom for the night. Sleep comes first.

Dad's birthday has been celebrated. Check.

  1. No:BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,
  2. Yes: 9bed

Back on track tomorrow. Inch by inch. Pebble by pebble. One foot in front of the other. One step at a time.

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

horn_of_plenty on 07/19/2021:
Def sleep comes first! i would do the same if i had a cat! glad you are almost getting enough sleep, good progress!

Reading about your cat today has me missing my guinea pigs while i'm at work!


Donkey on 07/19/2021:
You did the right thing with your cat. Try to kill me? Off to the bathroom you go... Sleep comes first!

PS I think I mentioned this before somewhere, but I find that if the supper dish gets too low in food overnight - there tend to be problems. They don't EVER like to see the bottom of a food dish, even if there's still sufficient food in the bowl!



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 18, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

 This morning I woke up to discover the cat is a gleeful sadist. Her kibble bowl was low, and that was unacceptable. I was deep asleep, finally getting "enough sleep" when I felt tiny, deliberate pin pricks on the bridges of my feet. I was asleep enough to kick at her, which I am not proud of, but she just kept doing it again and again until I was up. Well, she got me up, and annoyed enough that I grabbed the nail clippers and a towel and took the tiniest little tips off. (I don't like trimming claws, I am trying to teach her "soft paws" but I couldn't take it anymore.) She didn't break skin, but it will be a bit before I can wear shoes. I'd say her skill level on that was "expert". 

But now I am on her **** list for the day. Oh well. This is why I haven't introduced her to my dad and the rest of the house yet.... she's starting to feel comfortable and "at home"... so she's starting to test boundaries. Now I get to see who she really is... Apparently a dominatrix.

Here is a photo of her yesterday passed out on my bed.

I still need to get a cat tree up. I have a 17" wide space for it next to my bed... It needs to be 45" at the top. not much that is freestanding fits the bill that doesn't have to be secured to the wall. The wood ladder I was going to use needs to be cut down to fit that spot and would have to be attached to the wall. All things I can do with more sleep.

For Saturday, July 17, 2021:

I went to bed on time but had a hard time falling asleep on Friday. I woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. After several days of not enough sleep, I was just trashed. We were supposed to have my friend over for dinner, but I was trashed and cancelled. I still got the house mostly cleaned up... kitchen/bathroom scrubbed. Vacuumed, clutter cleared. I ended up eating way too much and watching Netflix. Till 10:30pm... just inhaled food. I am sure I raised my sugar and blood pressure....

It's a "no" across the board on all 10. BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed


 

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/18/2021:
That’s a beautiful kitty! Is she some kind of calico?

I tried to trim my pug/Frenchie’s nails & it was a disaster. Gave up after a few. Will try later. Squirmy little thing!


Donkey on 07/18/2021:
She looks so cute and innocent - ha ha she's got everyone fooled. Except now you know. As i read this entry this morning, my own tortie cat decided that it was a good idea to attack my hand and arm as I was petting her on my lap.

Love those tortie cats!!!

happy-1 on 07/18/2021:
Apparently "tortie personality" is an actual thing and polite way of saying that the cat will chase things and whack you. "Cats with a tortoiseshell coat pattern had increased scores for cat aggression and prey interest."

https://consciouscat.net/2016/10/27/connection-cat-breed-coat-color-behavior/

UGH. If I think about it, the cat my mom had when I was a little kid that she looks like also did jacked up stuff. I figured it was just her. Apparently, it's tortie cats.


Horn_of_plenty on 07/18/2021:
very smart to take your time introducing her to your dad. hope your feet feel better soon.

beautiful pic of your adorable cat!



happy-1 - Friday Jul 16, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

For Friday, July 16, 2021 (I keep wanting to say star date like in Star Trek):

  1. BP1, yes. In range. Sugar also good last night. For no apparent reason and defying all logic, habits, and other things that make sense. Aaaargh.
  2. 4ns, No... exhaustion
  3. 2do, no.... epic fail. So tired I completely forgot about my mammogram.
  4. 30pln, no exhausted
  5. 2.5k@5, no idea, I logged all my food but was too tired to count calories
  6. 10cr, no... I cleaned dad's bathroom during my yoga time slot because we have people coming.
  7. 10Kstp, no. Cleaned the living room during my walk time slot.
  8. 7w, no 4ish
  9. 14fs, yes, actually. And almost 10h of sleep, but not enough REM.
  10. 9bed, yes... already here. I have filled my aromatherapy diffuser with lavender and then I gave the cat a rub down. She says the lavender annointing was delightful and very relaxing.

Wins... still here. Still kicking 

Obstacles... all of them. But now I have 4 bottles of nut butter and 8 cans of turkey chili from Trader Joes. I really should have bought a few cases, but nobody is supposed to stockpile right now.

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
And when I say cases… that’s like a month’s worth… I’m not really cooking right now.


bearcountrygg on 07/17/2021:
got some things done.....very good!!!


Donkey on 07/17/2021:
^I echo Bear's sentiments! And it's nice to see #1 accomplished.... even though you mention it defies logic. That kind of echoes what I was saying about eating ice cream and losing weight the next day. But take it as a win - I would!

My husband uses aromatherapy for his midday naps. I hadn't considered trying that for my own bedtime hour -- especially since I've mentioned several days lately that I'm having trouble turning off the lights on time (too late). I think I'm going to move my diffuser from the family room to the bedroom, and see if that helps. Thank you!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/17/2021:
oh no! will you have to reschedule the mammogram!?

yum to the nut butter. i am not buying any of my fave spreadable type because i have this choc nut mix that isn't the best and the only way to finish it is to not buy anything i like that is better! :)

not supposed to stock pile bc of forest fires? sorry to hear about those all around cali.



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 15, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

 For today, July 15, 2021:

Wins: A little more sleep today. Managed to send in my corrections to the exit sleep study survey... Hopefully they can tell me why I only sleep that well once a month. Ugh.

Obstacles: Fatigue, not enough groceries in the house I can eat. Too tired to focus and put in an Instacart order. Messy house. Can't get enough time in the kitchen without drama.

(Note: Dad is unaffected... I got dad all stocked up but not me. I just couldn't pull off one more grocery trip this week. I know there must be some way to plan it out so that I can do it off one grocery store trip without blowing my budget... but the prices and what is carried at different stores is all over the place.)

  1. BP1, no. Woke up late and took dad to the doctor right away. Forgot to check today.
  2. 4ns, no. Fatigue. I was a vegetable as soon as we got home.
  3. 2do, no
  4. 30pln, no
  5. 2.5k@5, possibly. I actually did ok on this today somehow.
  6. 10cr, no
  7. 10Kstp, no but I did go for a walk while dad got his labs done and glasses fixed. not much, but 1000 more than I would have if I hadn't. 
  8. 7w, no. Half a gallon.
  9. 14fs, no
  10. 9bed, yes. It's 8pm and kitty and I are tucked in, no alarms set, alexa unplugged.

This cat loves on me like the star of a pet food commercial and I'm covered in tuna fish. Here she is in her bed next to my pillow instead of by my feet.... which I deeply appreciate. So chill. Miles from where we started.

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/16/2021:
Mama Cat is finally feeling like she is home.....nice breakthrough! When ever I get overwhelmed by bad things...and remind myself of bad things...I force myself to think of a good thing...and it really helps lighten the load.

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
I'm not thinking in terms of good things or bad things. Everything is a variable.

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
Like... I have access to a kitchen with food in it. That's a good thing. I can't get time in it without drama. Obstacle. How do I either a) Not need to be in the kitchen to prepare food, or b) Lower the drama level to be able to use the kitchen?


Donkey on 07/16/2021:
Awww, that's so cute to hear about your cat. Melts my heart!!

I hope that you get some answers from your sleep study.

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
Yeah!!! I don't know why my pics keep turning sideways when I upload them to DD... but still worth sharing.

Me too!

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
Yeah!!! I don't know why my pics keep turning sideways when I upload them to DD... but still worth sharing.

Me too!

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
I can't believe how little time it took for her to remember how to be someone's cat again!


bearcountrygg on 07/16/2021:
I see it as there is another option...don't react to the drama...don't get pulled in by it.....if whomever is causing the drama doesn't get a reaction then they can't feed off it..... When they discover that it gets no reaction then they will eventually stop it. I'm guessing it is your dad that is looking for a debate.....one person can't debate alone...it takes another to oppose their point. Suddenly a debate between 2...becomes just a statement from 1. It reminds me of a toddler throwing a tantrum on the floor......they are trying to change your mind by being a mess......well.....if the parent reacts to their mess...it teaches them that it gets them what they want........if the parents walks away and doesn't react.....they discover that it doesn't work and they stop throwing tantrums......one son would throw fits in public.....I stopped taking him.....he quickly learned that he didn't get to go anywhere....and he learned how to behave. I would do the same thing with an adult....either they acted like an adult...or they wouldn't get to go anywhere. I don't banter with people who are acting inappropriate especially in public....ignoring them lets them know that i won't tolerate that in my life and if they want to act like that anywhere they can do it without me. Silence really does speak louder than words and gets the point across quicker and cleaner......but this is just me.......I'm embarrassed for adults who act like children.....because they didn't learn to behave way back when.

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
I'm working on option 3 "don't react to the drama...don't get pulled in by it". I am struggling because I am so tired. The little bit of energy I have is gone the minute he notices I am out of my room and it is completely gone when he starts in on me. All I can do is put in ear plugs and noise canceling headphones to ignore him and walk out of the kitchen if he walks into it.


bearcountrygg on 07/16/2021:
What would happen if you hung around him constantly??? I know it would be difficult...but maybe he would settle down a bit....you would really need to be non responsive..or only respond when he was behaving well...just close by. It would be a kind of conditioning. Once he got his fair share of your presence...maybe he would find out that he likes some alone time....Maybe right now he lays in wait for you to make an appearance and then pounces.....It would be nice if he could relax his drama a bit for both of you.

happy-1 on 07/16/2021:
I am down to try that after whatever they say from my sleep study comes to fruition.


bearcountrygg on 07/16/2021:
There is a trick that helps children be heard...but with no immediate reaction...( I'm suspecting he acts childish)......When he makes a demand on you.....you could say...lets see...we will put a list up on the fridge of things dad wants to do...he will feel like he is being heard and then when he brings it up again...or something different...add it to the list......it makes then feel like you have heard them....they can read it any time they want to......and you can always tell him it is on the list......( it works for kids wants...as in a toy, etc)


Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2021:
nice job on getting in more steps. i have come to the realization i'm really, really weak in terms of my ability to last on my feet and walk for a long period. i have lost all my strength gained while i was not working. so, like you, i'll be trying to improve my standing/walking stamina (improve upon my steps..)

so glad kitty and you have bonded well!


Horn_of_plenty on 07/16/2021:
dentist suggested i take my anxiety meds in AM rather than PM to see if it will help me wake up feeling more rested...i will try that.



happy-1 - Thursday Jul 15, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

Stayed up way too late last night, made this morning hard. Had to go straight to taking my dad to the doctor without time for myself. This is on me for staying up too late watching Netflix and having extra snacks because I was bummed. Took dad to the park and he had the fall I was dreading and the drama afterwards wore me out to the point where I turned on the AC and pulled out the camp cot and just vegetized... and didn't do any of the things I needed to do for the next several days. I did at least get decent sleep out of it and do not want to crawl into a hole and die.

Skipped coffee today, so I just want to crawl into a hole and veg.

For yesterday, Wednesday July 14, 2021:

Not enough sleep after sleeping so great in the sleep study the night before. Ugh.

  1. BP1, yes, too high. Probably due to sodium. Ate too many nuts and pepitas.
  2. 4ns, no, exhausted.
  3. 2do, no, exhausted. I feel like I need a subcategory for whether I at least did the critical thing. I did that at least.
  4. 30pln, no. I'm vegetative.
  5. 2.5k@5, No idea. Just ate the best I could in the midst of drama. I need a bigger mini fridge. I ended up having extra snacks I was too tired to track.
  6. 10cr, no, and no yoga. I was too tired to sit in a chair. Forget yoga.
  7. 10Kstp, no
  8. 7w, possibly 6
  9. 14fs, no
  10. 9bed, no

 

 

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 07/15/2021:
Ps. I put up a blackout curtain yesterday to make my room more like the sleep study.

happy-1 on 07/15/2021:
Ps:

Wins: Getting dad to the park for mom’s memorial. Getting a nurse to check dad out after he fell. Knowing when to give up and just hibernating. Letting go of everything that didn’t need to get done. This morning might not have been smooth for my dad, but he still got to the doctor for his feet the next AM.

Obstacles: Missing my mom, messy house, high sugar, high blood pressure, not enough sleep, heat, dad demands, not being able to really get to the kitchen and make food without drama.


bearcountrygg on 07/15/2021:
I'm sorry to hear about all of the troubles.......And yes to the black out curtains...they are amazing....never had them until the neighbors put a spot light on their barn that shines directly into our bedroom window....problem solved.

happy-1 on 07/15/2021:
Lol. Does the spotlight signal aliens?


Donkey on 07/15/2021:
Blackout curtains are the best.

I'm sorry that you didn't get great sleep, but it sounds too me like you handle a stressful day very well.

That's really scary about your dad's fall. Is he OK?


bearcountrygg on 07/16/2021:
The neighbors are aware...they asked.."Is our new light shining in your window?" They knew it was.......We had already gotten the black out curtains so we just shrugged it off......They didn't offer to change it's direction and we didn't want to fight about it so we handled it......maybe it does signal aliens...LOL.....apparently it sends them to our house...LOL


bearcountrygg on 07/16/2021:
On the bright side...we never would have discovered black out curtains...so i guess we should thank them...LOL



happy-1 - Wednesday Jul 14, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

Trying to psych myself up to open my bedroom door and face my dad. Procrastinating just about everything because I just don't want to face taking him to the park today. Not the park trip... the endless button pushing, rage fits, inevitable demands for fast food or to go to the grocery store. So I'm dragging myself around, forcing myself to get dressed, eat, start my day.

BP is high. Still on 1/2 adhd meds. I did drink a whole cup of coffee. Sigh.

I can do this. I can open the door. I can take my dad to the park. I can say no to everything that will speed up the need for dialysis. I can do yoga tonight and then go for a walk. I can do this. It is all within my power. I can pull myself back one pebble at a time. I can do this!!!

For yesterday, Tues 7/13/21:

WINS:

  • successfully completing sleep study (slept in their window exactly from 10 pm to 5:15 am, despite all the wires and an unfamiliar environment)
  • feeling like my old self again for a day. Last one of those was in march or april.
  • getting through paperwork (accounts, bills)
  • doing a yoga move I couldn't do the first class I took. Yogi squat with my hands in prayer and elbows inside my knees. First class I had to pull over my little red travel cooler and sit on that.
  • energy to do my hair. I just ran a flat iron over it, but I never have the positive mood and energy to do that

OBSTACLES:

  • ongoing environmental stress with my dad just wore me down. Every time I went in and out of my room I had to put him off to not engage and save my energy. I called him from the grocery store twice and he hung up on me both times.
  • flatulence
  • wrench for Exish's bike I sent doesn't fit.

HABITS

  1. BP1, no was at sleep study, didn't bring it
  2. 4ns, no and no pt
  3. 2do, no... I deliberately skipped to focus on paperwork
  4. 30pln, no... no energy left at end of day
  5. 2.5k@5, Not sure. Went way-way over most likely. Was so focused on getting stuff done, I didn't track calories as I went
  6. 10cr, yes, yoga
  7. 10Kstp, no, I did an errand after yoga instead... 99 cent store and pet store to look at cat trees in person. Also bought some sensotive systems wet cat food, which went mostly uneaten
  8. 7w, no. 4?
  9. 14fs, YES. The sleep study helped with that.
  10. 9bed, no... I was on track with my fasting starting at 5pm and then I had some kind of screw it impulse at 9pm, turned off Freedom app blocker that blocks Netflix at bedtime, and then ate hard boiled eggs, pepitas, a piece of keto bread with nut butter, and a keto fudge cup. Dad stress, dread of tomorrow, and misery at flatulence. These are the days that make me feel disappointed in myself because I got a boost (sleep study helped with fasting) and I could have done it 2 days in a row, but I did not have the mental fortitude and just caved and had a snack and stayed up too late.

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/14/2021:
Amazing you could sleep for the study, but great. My insomnia is so bad I couldn’t. A friend did one & managed to sleep. They said sleep apnea, but she never adjusted to the breathing machine & she’s fine without it.

I have a garage full of 32 can cases of Frisky Canned food. Buy $3 off coupons on ebay. They love it!

You have a terrific attitude! One day or step at a time.

happy-1 on 07/15/2021:
Thank you!!! She loves Friskies, but it upsets her stomach and then it’s extra cleanup for me.

Thank you for saying I have a terrific attitude. Sometimes I wonder about that. Our attitudes form our habits. Our habits shape our outcomes. Our outcomes determine our opportunities. Our opportunities shape our fulfillment in life.


bearcountrygg on 07/14/2021:
I see you slept well for the sleep study....that's great!!

happy-1 on 07/15/2021:
Ha, not if they can’t tell me why I only sleep that way once a month.


Donkey on 07/15/2021:
Very trying circumstances. I can't even imagine...

Getting the sleep study done is a very bright spot though! I hope the analysis is helpful to you.

Also, I liked how you identified obstacles and successes, along with your healthy habit list. I think I might try something like that.

happy-1 on 07/15/2021:
It’s a mindset changer.



happy-1 - Monday Jul 12, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

For Monday, July 12, 2021:

Woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep. I crawled through my day on all 4s, practically.

  1. BP1, no... too tired and spacey
  2. 4ns, no
  3. 2do, no
  4. 30pln, no
  5. 2.5k@5, probably not... way over
  6. 10cr, no... i tried to do yoga but my brain was mush
  7. 10Kstp, ha ha ha no
  8. 7w, no
  9. 14fs, no
  10. 9bed, yes

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

Jacky82020 on 07/13/2021:
I always wake up around 3 AM. Usually I get back to sleep. But often not. Worse part is I get hungry & eat. Bad habit! Keep telling myself to sip a protein drink, but don’t. Sad!

happy-1 on 07/14/2021:
Have that protein drink powder in the bottle out on the counter so it is the first thing you see when you get up too early?


Donkey on 07/13/2021:
UGHHHHH --- I hate it when that happens, although for me, it's usually 2am, and then I can't get back to sleep until after 4am, and then the alarm goes off at 5:15am.... Soooo painful. I try to keep in mind that perhaps this means I'll sleep better the next night. That's all I got. These kinds of days are REALLY hard.

happy-1 on 07/14/2021:
I feel you.


horn_of_plenty on 07/13/2021:
sorry i have fallen behind on your entries!

Regarding below, is it true that peas will affect him that much? Really, at least they aren't rice, right? i'm sure peas are a bit better than noodles or rice :) but yes, squash is def better than those in terms of carb numbers :) gotta say, i'd just give him the peas? if you can....they are hardly a real indulgence...i am just thinking how they are better than chips and bread and the other really big no-nos! :)

you are becoming like your cat if you are crawling on all 4's now.

btw, nice job on yoga yesterday. getting exercise in no matter what type, even chair yoga, is great.

happy-1 on 07/14/2021:
I’m behind on everyone’s entries!!!! I’m kind of crawling around these days. Also craving a laptop for easier reading. Like a cheap chrome book.

If peas were the only carb in the meals, that would work, but it would be peas with rice, breadcrumbs, polenta, noodles, or potatoes… that would throw off the carb balance of the meals. They come prepackaged, so I try to just swap the veggies he doesn’t like.


bearcountrygg on 07/13/2021:
3 a.m. is a common wake up time...happens around here too.....and i have heard of so many people saying the same thing.

happy-1 on 07/14/2021:
Right??? Good luck bad luck… at least I slept in the sleep study.



happy-1 - Sunday Jul 11, 2021
(BP1,4ns,2do,30pln,2.5k@5,10cr,10Kstp,7w,14fs,9bed)
Weight: 216.0

For Sunday, July 11:

  1. BP1, Yes, and it was in range! Yeah! Let's get a couple more of those going!
  2. 4ns, no and no pt
  3. 2do, no. I had a list. It went out the window. I woke up on time, did 8am yoga, ate. Then my dad started complaining because I had put squash in his meal prep instead of peas. I told him peas are a carb, squash is a vegetable. You can't have peas instead of squash if you want your sugar to stay stable and keep your vision. He started yelling so I went to help the Exish with his flat bike tire. The Exish was utterly impossible and reminded me of why he is "the Exish" and not some other moniker. He wanted to take me to a nice Sunday brunch, but I wanted it over quickly so we went to Jack in the Box, where I emotionally ate two tacos. I took him home and discovered he had bought me the Tik Tok butt-lifting pants in XL. I want to die. Then I came home and emotionally ate a bag of keto cookies. I also tried to meal prep crack chicken (ranch, cream cheese, bacon bits) but my dad wouldn't stop coming into the kitchen and grouching at me while I was cooking, so it is disgusting. It is also bad for my cholesterol so I should really just throw it out, but I hate wasting food. If I buy replacement dinners at a meal prep store, it would be $65-85... but only $20 worth of ingredients. I'm so tired. I didn't get anything else done today. It was a struggle just to get through putting the crack chicken away... Dad just would not let up. I cut him off completely at 8pm and went to my bedroom and detoxed... I can't take it. 
  4. 30pln, no
  5. 2.5k@5, I had enough calories by 5 before fasting but everything was such a trainwreck today, I ate a keto peanut butter cup and some nuts after my walk. I pretty much just want to bury myself in food.
  6. 10cr, yes, yoga
  7. 10Kstp, no but I went for a walk.
  8. 7w, no, 6?.
  9. 14fs, no
  10. 9bed, on my way there now.

At least my lotto ticket today won... another ticket.

Progress as of today: 101 lbs lost so far, only 56 lbs to go!

bearcountrygg on 07/12/2021:
Happy...you are tough...you are strong...you can do this!!! I believe in you!


Donkey on 07/12/2021:
I agree with Bear - you are really strong to endure 2 difficult men. Well, maybe Ex's was just a temporary mood.

I haven't heard of the tik tok pants so I had to do a Google. I'm not sure they look comfortable, but they definitely do complement a behind. Perhaps in a clumsy way, Ex was giving you an immense complement. I never understood the whole bootie thing, although my husband sometimes gives me "clumsy" complements too ;-) I'll take it!


bearcountrygg on 07/12/2021:
I don't get the booty thing either...I've spent too much time working on getting rid of a big butt!!.....I also will be looking up the tik tok pants.....maybe he likes big butts...I think there is a song coming on...LOL...


bearcountrygg on 07/12/2021:
Yup...men and clumsy compliments...mine tells me I "LOOK GOOD IN CLOTHES"...LOL apparently not out of clothes though!! LOL..... Like Donk...I'll take it as a compliment!! Men are funny...mine calls aprons dresses... and wonders how come my low rise socks that don't show in shoes are even an option...like how do those tiny things even stay on your feet....He walks around in high top work boots and looks at my shoes and thinks they are "TOO DANGEROUS" to wear........he's a guy....they are basically clueless about womens clothes...my guess is you ex likes big butts!!!



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