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happy-1 - Wednesday Mar 30, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Wed Mar 30, 2022 5:24 am:

OMG. Inch by inch, pebble by pebble I am turning it around. Actually managed to not eat after dinner last night and fall asleep by 8pm. My Body Battery charged slightly higher... 78. I feel human. This is a major turnaround. A streak I need to keep going. Clearly Mama Cat was right and I needed the rest. She sat on my chest purring away until neither of us could take it any more. This is not usually her MO, she's more of a quick visit on top of me then settle directly next to me cat. I think it was on purpose.

Waiting for Garmin to process and post sleep stats at 6:30 am so I can plan my day. Waiting to eat breakfast at 7AM. 14h fast. That's a lot better than waiting till 10:30 am like I did yesterday. I was so tired I couldn't make the tofu scramble I'd been craving.

For Jacky... Mama Cat ordering me to stay still and stop poking her.

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
Inch by inch.

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
6:10am started feeling tired.

6:45 am checked sleep stats found out why, not enough REM. Probably the walk I did yesterday on top of being above the 7 day load line already. Just went for a walk at first light so tonight won’t be much better. F me.

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
8am. Cat is back. I wish I could go to sleep. I’m going to crawl through today like I am brain dead. Still setup the desk and paperwork for coworking today. I’m just so tired I dunno what I can do

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
9am. Exhausted. Just exhausted.


Donkey on 03/30/2022:
Great photo!! I can picture her telling her kittens to knock it off and get to sleep.

78 is a pretty good score!!!

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
Right? She’s such a good mama cat.

It’s getting better! Inch by inch. I think it’s the slightly lower sugar.


Jacky82020 on 03/30/2022:
Thanks! I love this cat! Great shot!

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
We’re still working on the cheesecake photos. Mostly all I see is her butt.


Jacky82020 on 03/30/2022:
I have to admit that pic scared my 4 boy kitties a little. They are mounting a tuna and salmon bribe campaign to get her on the friendly side.

happy-1 on 03/30/2022:
She’s more of a deli turkey kind of girl


legcramps on 03/30/2022:
I hope you managed to get in a good breakfast this morning! Especially if you started feeling tired so early. 78 is a great score from what i've read from the Garmin site, since they don't dole out 100's hardly at all it seems. Set yourself up girl!

happy-1 on 03/31/2022:
I got another today! Inch by inch!


horn_of_plenty on 03/31/2022:
i love when pets are captured yawning! love it when my gp's yawn, never caught them for a photo!



happy-1 - Tuesday Mar 29, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Tues 3-29-22 8:30 AM

Day 2 of tea instead of coffee to cut caffeine. I also plan to make a tofu scramble instead of eggs to cut cholesterol.

Some success on the sleep front in that I wfell asleep by midnight and woke up in my wakeup window at 5:30am. My phone alarm wakes up Mama Cat, who hates it. She wakes me up. She also peed my bed. Not sure if it's that or she couldn't get past the bag to her box. Augh.

7 day training load is still too high. Recovery bank is at zero. I charged to 70 today because sugar was high overnight and I am a couple hours short on sleep. Still, it's the best I've felt since Thursday. Not sure if I should do a walk, pt and cardio today. Doing that with the line above green on Thursday is what gave me the 4 day crash. I don't understand how it stayed the same yesterday and today if I didn't do anything and rested for 2 days.

Dad's laptop is headed for repair. He's going to be impossible to live with. Might be time for a cheap chrome book. 

Ok. Time to face a walk and meal prepping breakfast for the week.
 

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
Inch by inch

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
8:30 showered. Used clarifying shampoo, which felt amazing. Even dried my hair. 10:30 ate. 14h fast was over then. Tried Birdseye veggie mac n cheese which was still high in carbs, but better than the real thing and it’s been a monkey on my back craving 11:30 15 min walk. Felt so good to be outside after rain. 11:45 resting. I can do PT. I know I can.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
Banked 12 h recovery.

12:10, dad conflict over something I legitimately f’d up. Except I’m so tired I don’t have the emotional energy to maintain the conversation and had to lie down.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
12:30 - 1:45 caregiver support group. The ladies on there talk forever. I didn’t get to ask questions I had prepared… bummed.

2pm - ate. Chicken Caesar salad. Primal kitchen dressing. Biena chickpeas as croutons. I’m trying so hard.

2:30pm - Talked to my aunt. Not sure why she called. I tried to get her to explain to my dad that I’m just tired from PT. She’s trying to tell me to do a lighter routine. It doesn’t get lighter than a 15 minute walk and 15 minutes of exercise. Dead is the only thing that is lighter.

3-3:30 - In bed, cat across my chest. This cat has been really determined to sleep on me today. She is my personal weighted blanket. 12lbs maybe? Clearly her opinion is that I need to take another rest day.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
5pm - Ate a chicken quesadilla, greek yogurt, frozen cherries. Called aunt back.

6pm - Fed dad meatloaf. Ate Brussel sprouts.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
7 pm in bed. Watching Netflix. Yawning


Maria7 on 03/29/2022:
I am using an Acer Chromebook 15...have had it couple years, I think and it is good (if you don't use dvds, cds, etc. Only costed couple hundred bucks...

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
Yeah… that’s what I’m thinking. I see them at Sams club.


bearcountrygg on 03/29/2022:
Computer withdrawal...no fun for anyone, I guess.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
He literally lives on it 24x7


Jacky82020 on 03/29/2022:
Is that 7 day training load from the Garmin?

Have you ever tried Egg Beaters? Zero cholesterol. Easy to scramble in the microwave. I use the Walmart generic, Egg Maker. Have quart box in fridge now. Will mix in 2 bags of defrosted spinach & garlic powder and bake. Comes out all brown & fluffy. Great low fat protein source. Sometimes add grated cheese. Yum!

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
Yes. The ones with performance stats have them. Now that I have cracked my sleep, I am trying to crack fatigue.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
I will have to look at the egg beaters. My kneejerk reaction is no processed foods, but I could use a recipe that is less work than an organic tofu scramble.


Donkey on 03/30/2022:
I think that the switch to tea might be helpful. Husband and I were just talking about this last night. Since everything happened, we've been drinking way too much coffee. We were talking about how chai tea is a nice alternative, and doesn't require artificially flavored, sugary creamers. It's very nice with just a bit of real milk or cream.

My son used to drink tea at night, a lot, while he did his writing or playing computer games. When I have tea at night, I am reminded of him...



happy-1 - Monday Mar 28, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Mon 3-28-22 12:15pm

Gathering my thoughts together. Still fasting. I had awful insomnia last night, not helped by neighbors setting off fireworks at 2:30am. BB is up to 75 today, but Garmin says I still need more rest to be back up on my feet and productive. About 2 days. So unfair. 4hrs in the recovery bank. Almost enough REM. EPOC above the green zone. I worked in a cat photo for J's boys.

    

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
Inch by inch

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
12:45 - Got a call from my aunt. It was less exhausting than normal. Recovering, then facing eating. I just don’t feel like I have the energy to eat today.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
2pm. Oh great… dad’s favorite grocery chain is going to have a strike. Super fun. He’ll be a party to live with. https://abc7.com/amp/southern-california-grocery-workers-strike-vote-supermarkets-unions/11643649/

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
2:30 PT says that this is the reason she started me out with very light exercises and that it is more important to do light daily than push hard. Augh.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
5pm - Instacart order in. I bought all of dads favorite kroger brand items so he doesn’t have to break the strike and I survive his drama. I’m too tired to read up on the strike and decide how I feel about it. He feels strongly about it. I’m too tired to care. I ate an entire keto pizza, my big treat for the week. My other treat is frozen cherries to mix with greek yogurt. We each get 2 treats a week. His are keto ice cream bars.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
Not doing pt today. So tired I never made it out of my pajamas. I will try to run errands tomorrow.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
7pm took melatonin. Going to bed. All I managed to do today was laundry, cleaning dad’s room, and groceries. That used to be like 2h of my day. Inch by inch.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
I missed two telehealth appts today because I’m just that tired

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
11:29. Still up. Had a giant spider crawl down my arm as I was drifting off about an hour ago. Wide awake now.


Donkey on 03/29/2022:
Fireworks? In March? In the middle of the week? WTF!

Interesting graphs. I"m going to have to try to find the 7-day Training Level graph. Where would I find that? I'd like to see if Garmin thinks I'm training too hard.

My Garmin says that my stress level when I sleep is "poor". There are a couple of other parameters that are "fair" to "poor" lately. I get enough sleep, it's just not quality sleep. I feel your pain.

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
I don’t know if the venu has it. If you do, it’s under More>Performance stats>Training status>7 day training load

happy-1 on 03/29/2022:
My guess is that if you took 14 days and did 2 hours complete downtime before bed with headspace meditaions everytime you got anxious, upset, or started grieving, you’d see blue stress before you fell asleep and more restorative sleep. You might be in the same boat as me with zero room for stress or activity in that window. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/physical-health/thyroid-issues-and-sleep



happy-1 - Sunday Mar 27, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Sun mar 27, 2022 8:34 am:

Day 3 of crash, fasting sugar too high, hydration good, body battery 30, enough rem to function, BP high. 

Spent yesterday alternating PT, lying in bed, kitchen tasks, lying in bed, PT, etc. Eventually I made it through 2 sinks of dishes, making pot roast and chicken, and the whole PT routine. Except to do that, I ended up doing the last chunk of PT right before bed. Gave myself insomnia and ate a bunch of extra snacks. I probably triggered a 4th crash day tomorrow.

  
I barely moved. So unfair. I knew I might trigger insomnia but my sugar was trending up and I wanted it to go down again. So much for that experiment.




  The craziest part is I feel like I have energy because I've had enough REM for the last couple of days but I know it's going to hit me as soon as I start my day, so I'm just taking today as a whole rest day. I'll inflate my wobble board tomorrow and start over fresh.

 

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Inch by inch

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Mama cat was probably right… I should have just stayed in bed yesterday for extra cuddles. Always listen to the mamas.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
9:43am. I poked my head out to check on dad and take out the trash. Got crosswise with him over grocery store trips. Same BS. He thinks I’m denying him the grocery store Am as far as making my bed, putting on chore clothes, coffee, checking on dad, and taking out trash.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Also I resent him saying I never make time for him. I made dinner for us to eat together last night, and he turned me down.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
10:45am Just got out the camp cot so I can at least do computer work if I feel up to it later. Cat is not happy about it. She’d prefer if I was in bed, but I just can’t do any more of that right now. Was in a pretty positive mindset before dad dumped on me. So toxic.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
OneStep PT says, “With any amount of exercise your body starts to increase hormone production in anticipation that you may do more. It wants to be ready. As you increase your physical and cardiovascular fitness it should impact you less.”

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
3:30pm Got through making a google form to track my daily experiments and making a “charge your body battery to 100% everyday” challenge on vimify, then got hit with a blackout. Phooey. I don’t have any energy to do anything else than sit here on my butt.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
4:30 still no power

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
If I give up my 1 cup of coffee a day I might conserve body battery. Will start with instant iced tea as a chai latte instead. 1/4 the caffeine, work my way down.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Interesting comment on Reddit… Eat one meal a day to hack BB… you start with 60 points on body battery, fast till dinner and then just do dinner and eventually you will have enough energy to do more exercise because it didn’t go to digestion.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Another hack to try is ashwagandah before bed to lower stress and increase charge… interesting

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Keep bedding extra clean. Avoid elevation changes. Track weather changes. Avoid switching models. Some Garmins have an old version of body battery.

5:30 - Power came back on

6pm shower. On time!

7pm fed dad in bed. Sleep aid

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
11pm still up

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
1:15 am still up. I think i have reached the point where all day bed rest no longer helps. Just part day bed rest. Insomnia is an opportunity for the mind to torture itself.

Got up and cleared space to do PT tomorrow and took melatonin.


bearcountrygg on 03/27/2022:
Have you and your Dad ever exchanged lists of what you expect from each other?

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Can you give me an example of what that list would look like?

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
We were supposed to go to therapy but he refused.


bearcountrygg on 03/27/2022:
What I would do is to tell him that you would like to see him be happier and that you would also like to be happier and you would like him to list some things that he would like...I suspect that his first may be to go to the grocery store....another may to watch a program or movie with you.......yours may be that everyday between lets say 10 A.M. and noon you would like to be able to go for a walk by yourself ...or some uninterrupted alone time........and just for a kick...I would add something like play a game of checkers or poker or any board game with him....promise a snack that contains something simple ( small that he likes and one you like)....can he "TEACH" you a card game? Does he have a talent that you would like to learn? Is there a way you could allow him to feel like a leader...( that would help his self esteem)....is there a common ground where he could remain calm? You could ask about his childhood....the work he used to do...listen to his stories.....you might hear some tales you never knew....and he could feel important and heard.....and he would have your companionship which he may be missing. I think that a small investment in letting him feel heard and maybe even win a game or two could possibly go a long way in him settling down. I know taking him to the store has to be hard from what you have said......could you sit together and make out a shopping list...let him pick a couple of things that you would rather he not have but buy a small quantity so he can't overdo it. If he thinks you are hiding from him then it is probably making him mad....but if you have a pre planned time that is "YOURS" it will be easier for him to not feel neglected...especially if he will get some time with you doing something he likes.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
I will chew on this. The problem is that I have to energy to have the conversation or do any of that.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
That was why I started doing that table of stats and how I feel in the AM and what to do that day. I need a way to figure out how many spoons I have in a day.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
I read a bunch of articles on spoon theory, but I can’t figure out how many spoons I actually have in a day.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
I’m pretty limp. Exish tried to take me to a french restaurant last week and I couldn’t do it. Just trying to get dressed wore me out.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
10:30pm. Still up


bearcountrygg on 03/27/2022:
What happens when he doesn't go to PT? Is there someone there waiting for him like a scheduled time? How do they act when you just don't show up? Do they cahrge you anyway ...is it a group thing? Maybe there needs to be some rules...like if someone has an appointment then they go to that appointment... of course illness or something like that may cause a cancellation.......but...an appointment is an appointment and should be kept.....maybe there just needs to be some house rules...literally posted on the wall.........like..1. In this house we go to our appointments....2. In this house we are kind to everyone 3. In this house we keep our promises 4. In this house we will have a simple daily routine for mealtimes, hygiene, time spent together ( game, tv,storytelling, housework etc)...and keep it simple and make it daily.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
He has PT available to him but won’t do the routines or go. I dropped this fight a while ago.


bearcountrygg on 03/27/2022:
He may be acting like a child....but even children need things that they can count on...rules.....daily expectations...meals... , literally everything .etc....it makes people relax knowing that there are some things they can count on....they also need to feel loved and needed....and that they have something to contribute.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Yeah, my health has failed so fast since my mom passed, every time we made rules I couldn’t do them the next week. I just stopped doing it. If I can nail down the body battery charge thing and the sleep thing, I have a shot at predicting how much energy I have and can make rules.


Jacky82020 on 03/27/2022:
I wanna see some more pics of Mama Cat! My four males are dying to see her too!

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
I’ll try to snap some cheesecake pics for them.


Maria7 on 03/27/2022:
Pot roast and chicken...Yum!

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
Yup. Pot roast for him, chicken with everything bagel seasoning for the week for me.


Jacky82020 on 03/27/2022:
Now you got the boys all excited

MEOW!


horn_of_plenty on 03/27/2022:
i hope you feel better soon....i don't think i could do a body battery, at least not yet, it would stress me out too much ! (but that is me, not you xo)

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
It’s really helping me a lot. You have good interoceptive awareness and probably don’t need it.


Donkey on 03/28/2022:
I LOVE the idea of a list of expectations, but maybe you'd just be setting yourself up for more disappointment? Sounds like it might be a helpful tool, though, to give it a try?

I'll reply to your comment on my own entry from Sunday, but I definitely think you're spot on with your observation/comment about the body batter, sleep, and evening exercise.

happy-1 on 03/28/2022:
Yeah, did you see the link to the challenge I put up? I sent it to a few people on Reddit who are using body battery to count their spoons. I don’t know that they will join it.



happy-1 - Saturday Mar 26, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

 Sat Mar 26, 2022 8:40am: 

Waking state: OK but tired

AM BB:70, recovery bank 36h, fasting sugar: 145 (too high), rem: good, 7 day sleep: recovering. Almost there. Hunger: ok, totally able to wait for breakfast till 9am for fasting window.

What I did yesterday to get here:

I did PT but no cardio or walk. I didn't do anything else constructive except clean out the fridge, take out trash, and buy a used wobble board for the next PT course. I won't need it this week so it has plenty of time to arrive. I ate all my normal meals. I didn't try to cut calories because I ate the pizza the day before. I figure it's better to keep circadian triggers consistent and hopefully prevent another unplanned eating day this upcoming week. Took Trazadone and slept 10 hours. It's a lot easier to fast if I am asleep, lol. The extra sleep is probably due to lower pulse ox early in the night than high sugars. They were mostly ok overnight although they spiked right before I woke up. Weird graph from CGM.

Plan for today:

Mama cat seems to think I should just stay in bed and cuddle today. I wish. There will be time for that tonight.

Walk, PT, and cardio take priority over everything. I also need to make up food in the fridge or freeze it. Possibly both. Energy is mostly around tidying up and removing obstacles. Hopefully I will last longer if I use the new lazy readers I bought. They are glasses that let you keep your head up while performing tasks on a counter by using mirrors. They need some nose bridge pads though... They are huge and super heavy. They might even need a strap. 
 

My brain does not want to work though. I don't feel aharp. Probably the sleep aid.

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/26/2022:
Inch by inch.

happy-1 on 03/26/2022:
Almost forgot. I added an apple at bedtime last night because @legcramps suggested more carbs. Have been craving fruit so it was a nice treat.

happy-1 on 03/26/2022:
Almost forgot. I added an apple at bedtime last night because @legcramps suggested more carbs. Have been craving fruit so it was a nice treat.


bearcountrygg on 03/26/2022:
Glasses sound interesting......will the extra weight of them make you tilt your head? I think sleep aids do have that kind of side effect unfortunately.


Jacky82020 on 03/26/2022:
Never heard of lazy readers! Will have to google that one.

I tried trazadone years ago for sleep. Useless for me. Nothing really does for very long or very well in my case. Did zolpidem for like 10 years, gradually became useless. Currently take .5 mg Xanax around 10 or 11 PM. Helps a little bit a little bit of the time. Often get only a few hours of sleep, sucks the big one. But I see no viable remedy. Only consolation is a godawful night is generally followed by a better one. But not always.


horn_of_plenty on 03/26/2022:
i also cannot do heavy activity everyday...tires me too much. i wish i could, but i also enjoy my relax time :)


Donkey on 03/27/2022:
I thought of you last night, when I had a banana before bed :-)

I love hearing about your kitty. She's a real keeper.

happy-1 on 03/27/2022:
She’s so smart, I have these weird moments with her where the communication is completely clear and I can tell what she wants or what her opinion is. Definitely at least a 3yo IQ in there.



happy-1 - Friday Mar 25, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

@legcramps... Regarding your question about nutrition for energy...  Here was where I was at before I hit my pizza binge last night... I could really use some direction as to what kind of professional to work with (ideally on Cronometer) to avoid the pizza binges... I have the activity and emotion part identified... If I hadn't worn myself out for the day with PT and cardio at 12:30PM, I'd have had enough Body Battery left to maintain willpower and not eat crappy, leftover, bad-for-me pizza and "not support my health goals". It wasn't a binge... It met my negative calorie deficit for the last week exactly. I define binge eating as anything that would contribute to weight gain, not staying at the same weight. It's more useful in terms of analyzing stats if I only look at not being able to maintain a negative calorie deficit in terms of overall stress tolerance.

Here is what I ate and when:

Here is my nutrient summary. At some point they did an update and wrecked my nutrition settings... I have no idea how long it has been that way. The cholesterol is scary:

 

These are the nutrient targets I am watching... I haven't been looking at vitamins and minerals... They are way off because the settings were wrong and I only caught it now while writing this post. UGH.

 Any feedback and direction is welcome!!!

 

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

legcramps on 03/25/2022:
Those are some pretty awesome numbers! If I could get that much protein in one day I'd be a happy camper.

There might be some good suggestions from others here too, so I'll keep it short. It looks like you spread your protein out well through the day, but maybe it would be more beneficial to "use" it before you think hunger will strike, since protein does curb appetite. Think about the time of day where you feel most hungry, and plan to take in some protein prior to that time. I'd also concentrate on getting in some protein earlier in the morning rather than waiting 4 hours for your first meal.

The other thing is carbs. You are short on carbs, and I see that is the plan so I know you have your reasons. But eating carbs is what gives us fast energy, helps to preserve muscle, and might help with tackling the to-do list or the PT more easily. If your body isn't getting enough carbs, it will use amino acids from your muscles for energy, and breakdown your muscle. Muscle increases metabolic rate.

Lastly, can you chuck one of those yolks and stick with the egg white only? That's probably what's contributing in large part to the cholesterol read.

And to end off, I'm not an expert in nutrition. There are likely others on this site that have far more valuable knowledge than I do. I know what works for me, but I also know that everyone is different. Especially if you're struggling with chronic illness! So please, take my input with a grain of salt. Everything is trial and error!

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Totally! Good feedback! I’m looking for a specic type of nutritionist that might help. Any ideas? This is as far as I have gotten with the 3 I have worked with.

cronometer says you are right. Cut the egg yolk. Feels wasteful… maybe some alternate breakfast choices.


legcramps on 03/25/2022:
Best professional to work with would be a dietician, or if you have a local college nutrition department - maybe connecting with them will help both you and them.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
I thought the nutritionist who specialized in cancer prevention was the best I worked with but she retired.


Jacky82020 on 03/25/2022:
Where are you getting that 3273 burned number from? A person running a 25 mile marathon would burn 2500 cal, average. Gets down to 100 cal per mile.

I’ve yet to meet an activity tracker that isn’t a joke when it comes to cal burned numbers. I wish I were expending the calories my Fitbit says, same for friends who use Garmin & other devices.

Burning calories is difficult. I have to slave away to use up 500 per day, but it does add up to one pound less per day. The husband can do 800, running fast and lifting heavy weights. But not everyday. Too hard.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
I’m 250lbs, 5’11, and on stimulant meds. The increased heart rate shows up as calories burned. If I look at my total net calorie deficit over 30 days, my weight change matches the calories burned from Garmin.


legcramps on 03/25/2022:
Your body burns a certain amount of calories based on your metabolic rate just by living and breathing, I assume that's part of the total cals burned number.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Yeah. It’s super accurate the longer the timeline you look at weight change vs deficit. At 30 days ~ 1lb accuracy. 90 days ~ 0.3 lb accuracy.


legcramps on 03/25/2022:
OMG I just checked out the Fenix. It would cost me $960 Canadian! AHHH!

...

I just bought a mountain bike.

I cannot think of a good enough reason to also purchase this watch.

But it's very pretty.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Your last post is enough reason to at least buy a Forerunner 245. $250 us


Maria7 on 03/25/2022:
I hope you have a good weekend! Please tell kitty hello and give her a hug from Maria.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Hugs. She says ty and purrr to Snowball.


Jacky82020 on 03/25/2022:
Gotcha! Always wished I was taller. They were all really tall on the ex’s side, both men & women. Like guys 6’10”.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Vikings!


Jacky82020 on 03/25/2022:
LOL! Some have red hair!


Donkey on 03/26/2022:
This is a fascinating post w comments - thank you for sharing this.

happy-1 on 03/26/2022:
Hugs.



happy-1 - Friday Mar 25, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Fri March 25, 2022 7:40 am:

I create my own drama. I knew better, but I ate some leftover pizza from seeinhg the Ex-ish. It was in a bag in my cooler so he could take it home with him.Instead, burning through my energy too fast and being short 600 calories at bedtime made me overeat and eat the wrong things. My sugar spiked overnight and my Battery only charged to 35 on top of the 72 hours recovery time I banked doing 45 min PT and 45 min cardio. I did not support any of my health goals. Its going to be a long day. I did it to myself. Why didn't I throw it out??? I told myself 20 times to throw it out. And didn't.

At least I got REM.

On a brighter note... OneStep is just great. They didn't have the exercises for my neck so they did a quick patch to their app and the PT was able to upload custom exercises for that. I was so impressed, I left a glowing review in the app store. I finished my first 10 day course yesterday. It's incredibly hard for a team to pivot that way... I was just awed.
 

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Inch by inch.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
If I think about it, I pushed myself a little too hard to try and hang onto my relationship, then ate pizza because it’s hopeless?

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
And also I dimly remember craving Kraft Mac and Cheese before going for the pizza.

4:30pm. Have been resting the last hour or so commenting on DD. Not ready to get up and face dinner. So tired.


bearcountrygg on 03/25/2022:
Glad to hear that the PT was able to make things work better for you.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Small miracles. Inch by inch.



happy-1 - Thursday Mar 24, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Thursday Mar 24, 2022 8am:

Kept it chill yesterday. Saved my energy according to plan. I walked 15 minutes, did a portion of my PT assignment, counted calories, watched my sugar, hosted caregiver coworking (researched how to make it easier to clean out my voicemail), hosted body doubling lab, did not start any new projects while tired but did tidy my bedroom, and went to bed on time with my CPAP on. Got 10.5 hours of sleep... BUT because I tried Trazadone as a sleep aid for insomnia, only got normal REM sleep instead of 25%. my sleep puse ox within the first 6 hours was lower than it should have been. I took it at 6ish and then it improved at the 6 hour mark. MyAir says I had more sleep apnea events last night... up from 0.9 or less to 2.4... Might be the walk and asthma from pollen. Might be the sleep aid. Either way, it's a no go.

  

BUT I woke up feeling good this morning. A little out of it, but got right up (after extended cat cuddles... because who can resist a big, sassy, no-bones-on-me-I'm-fat-and-happy mama cat who is determined to heal you with her love, and incidentally is cuddled up to me right now as I write this, purring away like an aquarium pump) made my coffee and went for a walk. 

Today I must still manage my energy. Only charged to 66. Probably the Trazadone because it wasn't my sugar.

In order:

  1. PT routine
  2. Breakfast
  3. Cardio
  4. Coworking (paperwork)
  5. Telehealth appt
  6. Make dad salisbury steak
  7. Well, maybe breakfast first.

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
Inch by inch

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
9:30am. Body Battery down to 50… and I feel “done” for the day. All I have accomplished is coffee, walk, DD entry, breakfast. Resting again and then I will do PT. I set up a Garmin 5K plan to walk/run by 7/15/22. Even if all I can do is walk, at least I will walk more incrementally. Can’t do anything to save my relationship but diligently follow my plan… more diligently.

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
6pm in bed. I burned through my body battery for the day by 12:30 pm doing pt and 45 min cardio. I was brain dead after that but still did my telehealth appt and got a prescription for a new sleeping pill that works better with asthma. Why did it take 9 years and a year of stats crunching for that to happen?

Watching Requiem on Netflix. Still hungry. 600 calories short for today.


Maria7 on 03/24/2022:
Your kitty is so sweet!

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Pure love. Cuddle bug.


Donkey on 03/25/2022:
More than once have I sat down at my work desk at 9-9:30a-ish to find that my body battery is at 47. I often wonder how I am going to make it through the day when I start half-empty.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Sounds like over-training on top of thyroid issues. You could do what I did and give yourself as much bed rest as possible for a month and see what your trends are. I’m putting together a challenge for looking at Garmin body battery everyday as a group and figuring out how to charge to 100 everyday if you want to do it with me.


legcramps on 03/25/2022:
Have you delved into nutrition for energy - does what you eat change your body battery? Just curious, as we know that food can greatly affect energy levels, mood, etc. This body battery thing is so interesting! The more you post about it, the more I want to try it out.

Re: your comment yesterday. I read the article, I think it's mind blowing. Has he read the article? Have you had any of these types of conversations with him? I wonder how he feels about it, if he is adaptable REGARDLESS of the fact that you are both in different places right now, and REGARDLESS of the effort you feel might be required on his part.

And waiting for a time when you are both in the same place may never come, you know? Life may never allow that. BUT if there are two of you working towards a common goal, isn't that better than one of you? Can you find joy just in today? And work from there?

You've been through so much. You deserve to participate/lead/indulge in a life that brings you peace and happiness. It's a full time job trying to manage chronic illnesses, figuring out what will get you into your best form, and then working and maybe re-working it every single day. You're putting in the work, and you should be partaking in that success.

That's a whole lot of words from me, so I'll stop there LOL. But I'm super passionate about the fact that you deserve a full, complete life, no matter the situation.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Nutrition for energy… not yet… I’ve been doing nutrition for blood sugar and inflammation. I use Cronometer.

If you are really into buying a Garmin, look at this comparison. The Fenix has the best union of data. I’m trying to figure out if I can afford one right now. https://buy.garmin.com/en-US/US/catalog/product/compareResult.ep?compareProduct=698632&compareProduct=735542&compareProduct=707538&compareProduct=641501

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Re the article, I only found it yesterday. I only recently realized that “chronic illness” is a topic written about separately from T2DB, so now I get more appropriate articles in my Pinterest feed. They aren’t all appropriate because a lot of my issues are reversible and so far moth of the health advice from doctors has been exactly the opposite of what Garmin says works for me… guess which one makes me feel better? He also only started pushing for long term plans last week.

happy-1 on 03/25/2022:
Joy in today is the issue… I adore him but fundamentally… the only things he likes to do is go to the movies and disneyland… which I am not big on… I love being outdoors and going camping… even a day out at an archery range is great. He hates being outside.



happy-1 - Wednesday Mar 23, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

Wed March 3-23-22 850 am

Wrote a post for today and deleted it. I think it was just the weong approach to my day today.

Long bad day yesterday. Experimented with Lunesta to avoid insomnia. I think it got me to sleep on time but decreased pulse ox and sleep quality. I should have gotten a ton of REM last night and didn't. 

Worried that Exi-sh will dump me. I was really getting to fully appreciate him the last couple of times I saw him. That would be ironic.

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/23/2022:
Inch by inch. Key for today is managing energy carefully and getting to bed early.


bearcountrygg on 03/23/2022:
Relationships do take time and work. Maybe he would make a better friend if you don't see each other too often.

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
Maybe. But he’s at the point where he needs and is ready for something real.


legcramps on 03/23/2022:
Why are you worried? Has his behavior towards you changed?

You know how when you have to get rid of something it suddenly seems so useful? It's a terrible analogy to an entire relationship, but maybe the thought of losing this person is making him seem a lot more desirable right now?

I'm probably wrong, so just disregard. I just remember when my ex and I broke up, and how hard it was because I really thought I was losing such a fantastic person. And it's not that he wasn't a fantastic person, but I definitely put him on a pedestal and couldn't see what I was doing until much later when I finally realized that I was better off not being in a toxic relationship with someone where I constantly felt I had to question whether he was still interested. I just see a lot of me in your situation, and it makes my heart hurt for you.

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
No, it’s just that we started out when we met in about the same place 3+ years ago. He pulled his **** together and got awesome, which I always saw the potential for in him. We never made a solid plan for the future because I’m not working… I can’t contribute my half of the expenses unless I work. Also it’s cheaper in AZ, WA, OR, NV, etc than CA. On top of that, I went the other direction. When I met him I was ready to go back to work but 3 months later, got sidelined by my parents diagnoses with terminal illnesses within a month of each other. He stuck with me for 3+ years as the hits just kept coming… mom died, dad ran me into the ground, I got COVID and my sleep fell apart but it got misdiagnosed, I had to battle my way back through an unhelpful medical system and create my own method to get to the root of it all, didn’t do it fast enough and my cgm got infected which was like a car accident in my bed, then I had the Moderna dose in April last year which was the nail in my coffin. It knocked 12 points off my passive all day VO2 Max in one month, made me weak as a kitten and barely able to leave the house or do anything. In a year, it has only come back up two points and I gained 25lbs. No doctor can tell me why or what to do about it. I was running until my arch collapsed in November and my knee started hurting too much to do anything. I cracked the whole pattern about a month ago and am now working on optimizing to get back up. I’ve done PT semi-consistently for 2 weeks. I have a referral to a sports medicine doctor… But he’s back up and on his feet NOW. It’s been 3+ years. How long should he put his life on hold to wait for me to get my **** together, get back to work, and be a real partner in a life together?

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
He coaches fighters and is in peak physical shape in his 40’s. Would you sign up for this road? Even a chronically ill partner who works through each excruciating issue inch by inch and does the best they can is still chronically ill. https://www.graceissufficient.com/spouses-interview-about-life-with-a-chronically-ill-partner/


horn_of_plenty on 03/23/2022:
If he is exish, do you think you could do better anyways....either way, i am sorry xo

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
He’s changed a lot and become the person I saw inside him 3+ years ago. No longer the case.


Donkey on 03/24/2022:
(((hugs))) I'm sorry.

happy-1 on 03/24/2022:
Hugs. Ty.



happy-1 - Monday Mar 21, 2022
(FlrBkfstFdAgYlog,BpNs14h2doPln-25010cr10Kstp1G9bed)
Weight: 251.0

 Monday 3/21/22 7:58 am

I don't know how, but I gained 11lbs in a month after losing that many. I'm hoping it's that the battery in the scale was dying... but no wonder I feel ginormous. 

So it's relentless, calorie, weight, and blood pressure tracking again. I fell off for a bit... I cracked the sleep thing... focused on that and everything else slid.

 

Progress as of today: 66 lbs lost so far, only 91 lbs to go!

happy-1 on 03/21/2022:
Inch by inch

happy-1 on 03/21/2022:
Also OneStep doesn’t have a database of neck exercises. Or a custom entry feature. So I may not be able to meet my goals on the very fancy app they put a ton of money into.


Jacky82020 on 03/21/2022:
Sure you could find neck stretches etc all over the Net FREE Or buy an ebook or get something from the library. LA has a terrific library system. I almost went with them for my out of state library card, but wound up with the Brooklyn Library. Best $50 a year I ever spent!

happy-1 on 03/22/2022:
Yeah, it’s a matter of getting them into a format that I can easily follow when I’m tired.


horn_of_plenty on 03/21/2022:
have you been eating something very rich that has many calories or is like a calorie trap!? anyways, keep on going, at least you have improved overall with your sleep!

happy-1 on 03/22/2022:
Almond butter? I think it might be that plus moving less to isolate what was going on with my sleep. I didn’t cut calories when I cut down on walks.


Donkey on 03/22/2022:
Sometimes we have to focus on one thing, even if it means the rest of everything else slides. It's OK, it's a process. And I completely get that sleep is the higher priority.

I usually find that clothes start to not fit with every 10 pound gain. And I think that will hold true this year, for the summer wardrobe. I'm afraid to try on some of the capris that I have, to be honest. Believe me when I say I am in absolutely NO MOOD to go clothes shopping right now. I hate doing it anyways, and right now, with all the stuff I have to deal with - NO WAY.

happy-1 on 03/26/2022:
Clothes also stop fitting when bodyfat / muscle ratio changes. I have clothes that are the right size but I can’t wear because omg I look like a troll.


Donkey on 03/22/2022:
PS Thought of you last night. After a stressful day at work, coming home to clean up cat poop galore, my body batter was down to 17 (or maybe even 14 - I can't remember exactly). I think that's the lowest I've ever seen it.


Jacky82020 on 03/22/2022:
Go to YouTube! Tried to cut & paste good examples for you but failed. Looks like all kinds of simple to follow free stuff available



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