6am B - Missed
9am S1 - Missed
12pm L - Vanilla shake
3pm S2 - Burger, sweet potato fries
6pm D - Raw snap peas
9pm S3 - Turkey sandwich with cheese and mayo on rye
Lost another 1.2 lbs... Wild! Must have been water weight that finally came off this week.
Up at 9:30am, better than yesterday. Got up, took a shower, and washed my poor stinky dog. She now smells like a pine forest.
Plans for the day... Homework, followed by more homework and then some homework. Farmer Boys, here I come.
---
Dad had a bad fall in the clutter in his room. Homework delayed.
---
Stressful day full of delays.
Was loading the car to go to storage and my dog got out... NO IDEA how she opened both the front door and the screen door... but I did. Normally she will make me chase her 20 blocks (under the peril of gangs, creepy guys, traffic, cops writing tickets, and animal control on the hunt for stray pit bulls but really any dog).... So cleverly I acted like I was super excited she wanted to come, hadn't even thought she would want to go to storage, but if she wanted to come she should just jump in! She took a long look at me... Like I had grown a second head and was pulling her paw... but decided to believe me and jumped in the car. I was now committed to a doggie outing. We went to storage then got a burger. She was not a fan of the location. She shivered, cried and pawed at me the whole time... I think because she was cold from sume wet underfur (despite the space insulator pad and microplush blanket I had for her) and there were too many noises from the parking lot. She wouldn't eat her special $4.25 plain hamburger. We attracted a lot of attention from the next table... Very nice family, but you could tell they were having hard lives and were out for a big day and I just felt for them and wished I could make everything better... but I can't. I finished my food and we went home. She clearly would have like to have finished up with a walk but I was so mentally exhausted. I just showered, napped... pulled myself back together and walked her so I would feel like less of a grinch. Not a long walk, but at least a walk in daytime. And we saw several cats, a bunny, and a chicken... which she enjoyed very much.
I wonder how many good life decisions I have to make and pounds I have to lose to be the kind of person who finds it easy to just get up and go for a dog walk every day without fail. I dated a guy a couple of summers ago who had some issues, but the one thing that was really nice was that he was that kind of person and we just got up and walked my dog a couple of times a day. It was so nice to not feel guilty all the time for not doing enough for my dog and too guilty to just get up and do it.
---
My dog had literally exploded in a cloud of fur all over my car so I went to the car wash and vacuumed it all out.
Then I went to the El Segundo Farmer Boys which was a far cry from the other chains. Bad wifi, no outlets, generally an unhappy vibe. They gave me some abandoned salad that had been sitting around instead of my order... so I asked for a refund and the manager was really rude. She would give me a refund for the salad, but not the drink, and when I said I wanted the refund so I could get a drink at the Farmer Boys a couple of miles away in Gardena when I got my meal there without trying to sneak in a cup to get refills, she lost it on me and told me to get out and that she hoped I had better luck there. I don't know why she lost it on me... I wasn't being rude or raising my voice.
I was upset, so on the way to the other location I had to pull over. There was a grocery store so I picked up some stuff while I detoxed, and ended up just going home after.
----
Not a ton of luck getting homework done. My dad keeps trying to have deep meaningful conversations with me (before he dies). My dog keeps freaking out about the firecrackers and either bugging me or my mom... and if she bugs my mom, my mom comes and yells at me to do something about the dog. So I crated my dog. Then my mom freaked out that my dog was crated. I don't know why. I don't normally have it set up (no floor space, it has to be on my bed) but when I do my dog tends to sleep in there and will sometimes use the rawhide handle I made her to pull the door closed behind her (so she can hide). I wish the crate was big enough for me right now!
My poor dog. She will be so appreciative of my new bed. I'll move her big foam bed under it and she can have a little burrow nest all her own.
---
Uplift! One of the free backpacking classes at REI opened up a spot so I signed up. Super, super looking forward to it.
---
Super, super want but am not buying this camp lounger that looks great for a nap studying while camping.
http://www.backcountry.com/travelchair-big-bubba-chair
---
Seeing my ex tomorrow. *** Deleted for posterity ***
I have this awful desire to just no show so I can do homework. No text that I can't make it. Just not go.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
B - 2 Love egg sandwiches, coke zero
S1 - 2 packets of potato chips, 2 packets of ritz crackers, 1 packet of apple slices
L - coffee with milk, Cooked sliced beef from Costco. Kind of gross, not buying it again.
S2 - orange, brownie packet
D - whole wheat spaghetti with olive oil and parmesan.
S3 -
I'm down another pound!
Awful cramps today. No homework happened. I basically dragged myself out of bed to the couch and watched Hulu all day. Plus my company may be shutting down on Tuesday and I am a ball of anxiety.
Supposed to see my ex for lunch on Monday. All I can think is about that.
I shut off my hulu and netflix subscriptions... just too distracting for me right now. I need to be doing homework, not watching tv.
Bought a bed frame for my bed at my parent's house... super excited about it... It has 13" of underbed storage so I can get all my gear under it and out of the living room, and it is adjustable so you can set it up to be a situp in bed / elevate your feet thing. If my dad likes it I will get two twins for my parents... they need adjustable beds for their health but won't buy one for themselves.
Spent my night cleaning my parent's kitchen and washing all their dishes by hand. We don't have a dishwasher. Before I joined the Children of Hoarders support group I'd have been angry and cursing them the whole time for being grown adults who are too lazy to do anything for themselves. Now I get that it is mental illness and am super grateful that the guy running the medical weightloss program made their continued participtaion conditional on couples counseling... Maybe they can learn to work together late in life.
Progress as of today: 60.8 lbs lost so far, only 67.2 lbs to go!
Excellent idea for storage under the bed, great idea btw. I totally forgot that that is a good storage area! I used to do that at my bed at my parent's as well. i needed the extra room for sure...
actually, i'd say it's ok to watch a movie and not do homework all day :) i will also be doing homework again :) i'll be going into the police academy probably next summer & for 6 months there'll be tons of work!
let us know how lunch turned out with your ex.
and what is the "love egg sandwiches" is that a typo?
http://www.evolfoods.com/our-food/breakfast/breakfast-sandwiches/lean-fit-chicken-apple-sausage-egg-white-cheddar-breakfast-sandwich
I think I had cramps due to all the caffeine I've been drinking and not enough water. I get stressed and drink more caffeine for the headaches and then forget that means I need to drink two glasses of water with it.
The bed looks super cool. I am getting it in a full size, which is two mini benches put together, skinnier than a twin.
http://www.walmart.com/ip/Pragma-Wooden-Slat-Adjustable-Bed-Frame-Head-and-Foot-Multiple-Sizes/26603151
I am going to use it for now with an old pull out mattress from their couch I recently replaced. I am hoping that it is something I can jerryrig for my glamper van to be a bench sofa with a table behind it that converts back to a bed for sleeping, or adjusts for sitting up and working on my laptop on a lap desk.
I saw the perfect van listed on Craigslist today but it is out of my reach this summer... A 1985 Ford Pathfinder E350 4x4 Van - $12500. It is somebody's old camper conversion. So fantastic. I can hopefully buy something like that for next summer.
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/cto/5607612698.html
B - Vanilla shake, coffee, 4 creamers
S1 - Deli ham, 2 slices cheese, 1/2 a slice of spinach lavash bread, mayo, toasted, fresh baby peppers. vitamin water
L - Deli roast beef, mayo, 1/2 a slice of spinach lavash bread, mayo, toasted, 2 oranges
S2 -
D -
S3 -
Had the hardest time to get to sleep last night. 4amish... Barely pulled it together to get to work. Have to work late to offset time.
The buzz is we will get paid on Tuesday... But how long the company will be around... Uncertain.
The super WWCOG guy I struck out with on the camping trip says I should check out The Power of Habit, so I am listening to it on Audible.
http://www.audible.com/pd/Science-Technology/The-Power-of-Habit-Audiobook/B007C64916?gclid=CPegmJGS-8wCFUVsfgodj3YEJA&pcrid=79148494089&mkwid=sVCW6FIix_dc&pmt=e&source_code=GO1GB907ESH060513&pkw=audible+the+power+of+habit
Maybe it will explain why he is still texting me if I am not devout enough to marry!!!!!
Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!
B - Smoothie + the few extra blips at the bottom of the blender so they wouldn't go to "waste". Terrible mistake.
S1 - Skipped. Asleep
L - Skipped. Asleep.
S2 - Skipped. Asleep.
D - Breakfast muffin, guacamole packet, water
S3 - water, Farmer boys southwest salad
Extra snack - Svelte vanilla protein shake I sneaked into Farmer boys since they don't have any side options that aren't terrible for you.
Home today. I made smoothies at home this morning for everyone and then stepped out to take my 8am call. While I was out, one of the girls must have thought it was "missing something" and stuck in a bananna. I didn't know came back in and poured myself some of what was left when I went to clean it... I had a bad allergic reaction. I'm not as bad as when I was a kid and I only had a little bit so I didn't have to use an epi pen but I can't take benadryl or any allergy/cold stuff because of medication interactions. I could only take alka seltzer and just hope for the best. Would have been better if I had thought to eat an orange for the vitamin c. As it was all I could do was sit there and just got so tired I called in sick to work and slept the whole day.
---
Kept my hair appointment tonight and went to Farmer boys after to do homework. She does great cuts but the color always does something funny. Last time it didn't dye the hairline in front so I had roots on the left side of my face... and the protein treatment turned my hair to glue. it stuck together in the back of my head no matter how many times I washed it. It still felt gummy when I went today. This time the hairline was fine but the front part took better than the rest... Not that just stepped out of the salon feeling. For $136+$30 tip... shouldn't I be camera-ready? Her cuts are fantastic though.
Went to Farmer Boys after. Didn't get much homework done but I did get a homework plan together for the weekend. I have two weekends to make miracles happen before my freeze ends on the 5th and I need to make the most of them.
I did check my credit card statements. I am on track for my budget this month. Only over by $40 overall. I think next month I might dye my hair at home. I wish work wasn't so unstable... I am on course... credit score improving, paying down debt... But the company might fold at any minute and I think that's how I eneded up eating that burger last night.
Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!
B - breakfast muffin, coffee, 6 creamers, 1/2 scoop of chai mix, twix bar
S1 - Skipped
L - 1 flat bread, 2 tbsp hummus, 1 slice of cheese, a little ham
S2 - 2 greek yogurt mini muffins
D - Farmer burger, fries diet coke.
S3 - 4 chicken strips
Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!
half and half is very heavy & lots of calories (did you want the tips?). so if you can use 2% milk or even whole milk first, instead of half and half, you will save a TON of calories. I'd switch from half and half to whole milk first, or just switch to 2%. I also do NOT like skim milk, which i do agree is really watered down. I think you mentioned that once before - that you tried coffee with skim milk and it was gross? agreed!
salt and cardamom...cool, never tried. why the salt? interesting! and how'd you get hooked on cardamom!? so different!
you're a cool lady, i can tell i'd get along with you, i think if we worked together! jaja
I never ever drink instant or decaf coffee. They add tons of chemicals that will kill your kidneys. As bad or worse than soda.
Salt (just a sprinkle) in coffee grounds when it is brewing counteracts bitterness. You put it in the basket with the grounds. This usually cuts out the need for sugar or fake sweetners.
You can also add some crushed eggshell to your grounds if it is handy to clarify the brew.
If you have cardamom pods you can crack them open and stick them in with the grounds. You can also add some cinnamon bark.
If I want to go fancy, I add some chai tea mix which has those in it already with a ton of other stuff as well. It does have sugar and powdered milk, so when I remember and I am home next I'll just make up some tea masala or pick some up at an Indian grocery. The spices have tons of health benefits and turn off hunger. If you were making a proper chai, you'd have the spices in the pot brewing with the tea and then heat the milk on top in a double boil kettle... a bit too fancy for the office and I like it better mixed with coffee anyway.
I have been yo-yoing all my life... It started in jr high when I thought I was hideous and enormous and too ugly for anyone to look at (It breaks my heart to look at my photos from then... I thought I was a monster but I was a beautiful, tall, tan, California blonde with flawless skin and big grey eyes). We got a Costco membership and moved to a bad neighborhood and I stopped walking to and from school and I ballooned. I was skinny in college when I had to bike everywhere and had no money for food and lots of friends and beach trips and I have photos of myself from those times and I see this gorgeous leggy girl and I wonder how it was that she could never get a date or anyone interested... so it had to be what's in my head. What's in your head doesn't change unless you work on that... so that's my war to be healthy. Not what I am eating... What is eating me.
My storage unit is chock full of sports and fitness equipment that I have purchased and maybe used twice. My healthy weight for my height is 180. I know how to make super healthy high-protein meals, whether they are meat-based or vegan... never eat an extra calorie or fat gram and really watch it like a hawk. I know how to weigh myself every day and wear a fit bit and hack my body's bio patterns with scientific precision until I get exactly the result I want out of my "rubber bag" (https://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/rubberbag.html). I have done countless gyms, personal trainers, fitness camps, and programs all desperately in search of better health so I can avoid the future my parents are living... where they didn't take care of their bodies and are trapped in these miserable vessels and fighting with each other all the time. They made and continue to make choices everyday that create that situation. Every day above ground is an opportunity to have a positive outlook and make better choices.
In the past, I would make a push to get super healthy and then something would happen (a guy, job, fight with a friend) and I would fall off the wagon and then gain it back with a few extra pounds to boot till I ballooned up to 308. Something would happen and I'd fall into a pit of feeling like the monster and just stop taking care of this horrible troll that nobody loves and kick it while it was down. It is a terrible way to be, terrible to be around, and not a path to a great future.
I am trying to be conscious of what I eat and my general life decisions including how I manage my resources (time, money, relationships, etc.). I feel like up to this point I have been a black hole of consumption just eating everything up around me literally and figuratively till nothing is left and everyone around me is burned out. I am trying to be more mindful about everything... and it seems like when I am more mindful and make a better decision, I am rewarded with weight loss. Like I decided not to go to my ex's at night this past weekend and magically off came 12 ounces. Almost a full pound. Or I decided to not flake out on volunteering for foster care mentoring and stuck by going camping with H and lost 4 and 2 ounces respectively. Or I decided not to buy another gym membership and decided to stock up on camping equipment and try to go camping regularly so that I am outdoors more, less stressed and more mentally healthy overall and maybe see the pretty girl from jr high and college again who was lean, tan and happy.
So maybe asking me what was eating me when I ate something that I shouldn't be eating would be more helpful? What can I do to help you in turn?
B - 3 breakfasts today. Crazy hungry this morning. 1. 3 eggs, 3 turkey sausages. 2. An oatmega bar and an energy drink. 3. A $9!!!!!! cup of hot breakfast from Whole Paycheck breakfast bar, coffee and half and half.
S1 - Skipped
L - Part of fries and a large chilli and a diet coke at Wendy's. I couldn't choke it down when I got his email.
S2 - Packed lunch - beef/sweet potato/green beans, water, part of a donut.
D - Whole bag of spinach salad from costco. Was super hungry.
S3 - 2am snack - breakfast sandwich
BROKE MY PLATEAU TODAY!!!!! Lost 12 ounces. That was my reward for not going over to my ex's any of the times he has booty called me or planned a date and swapped it for "let's just hang out on my boat" or "let's go for a picnic down by the homeless encampment then go back to my boat." I haven't heard from him since I told him how angry the booty calls make me because they make me feel like he doesn't value me and he should do something to show appreciation for the woman who <rant> a laundry list I will not bore you with and just makes me look like an idiot </rant> . Post accident, my fuse is short.
---
Aaaand he dumped me. Ouch. Final heartbreak. I guess asking him to show he values me by going kayaking or to see a movie, some kind of bonding activity counts as "really set me off" and we won't ever see eye to eye.
Progress as of today: 58.6 lbs lost so far, only 69.4 lbs to go!
i would have probably had a rant too if i felt your way..
i did rant a little on my sorta-man for not going along with my request to finally hang out on the weekend (after texting THREE years!). he was my physical therapist for around 2 yrs of texting, so, i give him that.
B - Protein shake
S1 - Bean and cheese burrito with hot sauce
L - 3 eggs, 3 turkey sausages, Honest kids juice box
S2 - 4 cookies
D - Package of Mac n Cheese.
S3 -
I am a pile of stress and nerves today after seeing the estimator this morning. Decided to go back to my parents place and am working from home and being very productive. I had to deal with insurance company calls so I think I mad the best possible choice. I am pretty sure that I was the target of a scam, so every time I have to talk about it I get super mad.
Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!
i can not work from home though - and luckily - because i get VERY distracted :)
B - 2 blueberry greek muffins, coffee, 4 creamers
S1 - Frozen egg muffin, diet soda
L - 2 cranberry chicken salad cups with crackers, water
S2 - 2 oranges, water
D - Farmer boys cobb salad, diet soda
S3 -
Ex - None
Slept till 10, then farted around feeling sorry myself due to a fender bender and ex only wanting to get together at 8 on sunday at his place for a date which turned out to be a "picnic on the beach". I declined, largely because of the car accident and not wanting to drive 1 hr 40 minutes south till I get my car looked at by the insurance adjuster... partially because it was a sunday night at 8pm. And also because it was a "picnic on the beach" which sounds nice but at 8pm in Long Beach in May on a Sunday night means freezing our butts off and tangling with the homeless encampment that migrates down at dusk. So we'd pretty much down a sandwich and have to rush back to his boat. Trouble. I just get so down when he offers up only booty call scenarios. I feel so worthless when that happens it takes me hours to pull myself back together again.
I digress. The point is it is a time thief and sucks away time I should be spending doing homework. It took me till 4:30 to put on my big girl pants and go out and repack my car to go to Farmer Boys... it as really loaded down with camping equipment I can't take into the house till I spray it down with bug spray, groceries I didn't unload on Friday and stuff I need to return or donate. On the way I did stop of at REI and get a price adjustment on my boots. Very exciting. Now I can go hiking this week and try them out!!!! With any luck this will help with my hip and knee pain on the left side.
---
Couldn't focus at Farmer Boys. Sunday night crowd is crying babies and annoying students. Heading down to parents.
Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!
Ex1 - Chores, 2 hours
B - 2 peanut butter cups, coffee, half and half
S1 -
L -
S2 -
D -
Ex2 -
S3 -
Going to start logging physical activity along with my food. I eat a lot because I do a lot, but I think I eat exactly as much as I burn.
Super spacey this morning. Felt ok till I did chores. Then everything just hurt. Listened to 10 am call on the drive and got to work at 10:20.
--
Came home fri night to a giant fight between my parents. Turned around and went back up to the trailer. Exhausting.
Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!
that's a nice short drive, 20 min! lately, i'm leaving too late for work...and getting there just in the nick of time. feels horrible to always rush. tomorrow i will be getting to work a half hour early because i'm leaving 1hr early....and i worked half hour extra friday....i know i cannot totally take advantage as it's not in my nature...so i'll do the right thing tomorrow! :)
anyways, too much about me...
i hope you feel better, take a rest!
was you it that asked why i have work stress? i think so....
because at my company a lot has changed over the past year (and more so the past 6 months). the previous owner of my company was FIRED! yes, the millionaire was fired and the billionaire who bought his company fired him! and even before firing him, he fired all the top executives who worked closely with him.. so basically all of the original senior managment was fired. and that left all the folks in the company confused you know!? and even confused on WHO exactly was senior management after all this took place! my company is huge, so it just took some shifting of things, and there's still plenty of senior folks - but hardly anyone from the original days of the company if any of this makes sense.
it's weird. and then, around 2 months ago or so (maybe 1 month only?), the original owner's daughters had their last day. so, what was once a sorta family company is pure business oriented now. with lots of changes...
my work stress has decreased though since you asked me about it. because, i was given a raise. so, even though my paycheck will be the same each way, i can now contribute 17% to my 401k instead of 2%. I made it so i won't see a change in my paycheck but my contributions are now good....that's good for my future. it makes me happy to at least have that. I'll be contributing well for at least one more year before i move on hopefully out of the company as my fitness permits, which it should as i'm working hard for my goals to join the NYPD (police!). that's my situation - work stress due to lots of change and the unknown.
B - Breakfast sausage sandwich, peanut butter cups
S1 - Second breakfast sausage sandwich, coffee, half and half, yogurt tube
L - 2 hot dogs, beans, sauerkraut, diet soda
S2 - Skipped
D - 2 hot dogs, beans, sauerkraut, diet soda, orange
S3 -
I woke up this morning and just wished I could stay in bed... On my way to my car, I stepped off the curb wrong and rolled my right ankle with a big crunch. So I guess I get my wish. I've got a heating pad for my shoulder and ice on my ankle. I do wish I had stocked the fridge here this week. Aaargh. I really need a workspace in the trailer. Should I limp out to my car for coffee from my camping box? Hmmm...
---
Made a meal plan and a shopping list today based on my past diary entries. I will save the receipts so I can do a budget from it. A lot of prepared foods, but that's kind of what I need to do right now.
----
Just heard that one of the contractors at my work who was yanked (and got stiffed on his last paycheck) got one of the jobs I referred him for. I am so glad! He is sole breadwinner and his wife hasn't been feeling well. But being able to do something for somebody who is awesome is the best feeling in the world.
Progress as of today: 57.8 lbs lost so far, only 70.2 lbs to go!
https://gyazo.com/166db108f044685a5942a4bb2b35108c
I also built a shopping list:
https://gyazo.com/17af8f464af758a62b6de6d5ba756743
Aaaaand I splurged a little on some Oatmega bars and sampler of your favorite mighty muffins.
these muffins are really good. I wouldn't have more than 1 at a time :) enjoy.
I've never heard of Oatmega!
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Congrats on your weight loss progress! How nice! And i'm glad you are enjoying a nice smelling dog! I am guessing the dog doesn't care either way!?
I hope your dad is alright.
Dogs are always offended when they have gone to great lengths to eradicate our nasty human stench and we hose it all off and add insult to injury with awful chemical smells that any cat, possum, rat, bunny, or squirrel can smell a mile away.
Dad is bruised and we have to watch him in case he clots, but will probably survive. This has in no way encouraged him to let me throw any of his old books and newspapers in the recycle bin.
Horn_of_plenty on 05/30/2016:
I'm glad your dad is ok & yeah....that's what i thought about dogs :) i never grew up with more than a hamster...would be nice to have a companion i'd say...maybe down the road!