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happy-1 - Thursday May 05, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

B - 2 pinwheel sandwich slices, protein shake

S1 - Coffee, 2 scoops of chai mix, half and half

L - Salad, part of a diet snapple

S2 - Peanut butter crackers

D - skipped

S3 - Taco bell binge/meltdown.... Steak cantina burrito, nachos supreme, part of a taco.



Stayed crazy late at the office tonight and skipped my hike.  I just wanted to pull my weight and get stuff done, plus I picked up a project last minute at like 5pm that I have really wanted to do (redo the getting started guide... it is ridiculous) and wanted to get a jump on it. Did that and claend up loose ends last minute till 9:30.

Cute guy from camping dissed me on even being friends

Seeing BFF M on Friday. We've got girls night plans!

Saturday morning is a coding meetup, followed by foster kids, followed by seeing my ex for a movie. I miss him like I'd miss chocolate, music, good books and sunshine if they were taken away.

Sunday is mother's day. Taking mom to a movie then... Passing out?

Should have gone on the hike. Ended up doing taco bell drive thru while on the phone w/ M. Not constructive behavior and I am going to feel like crap tomorrow. M was surprisingly neutral upon hearing that I am seeing my ex saturday. Usually she calls him a narcississtic douchewad and that she hates his quaker oats face. I say it isn't that simple. We had really bad timing... And I didn't exactly force him to be on his best behavior. I think he has a lot to offer but I need to stand up for myself more and never ever cut him an inch of slack. I always made allowances and made an effort to be nice. Clearly that got me nowhere good.


Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/06/2016:
Your days sounds so exciting! oh man.

I have the same guy problem. I can't cut it off completely with him...so terrible...I keep crawling back for more...because I miss him toooooo much!

anyways, what was in your salad at lunch? veggies only?

enjoy the movie.

I live in NYC and my dad is treating me, my sister, my mom and of course himself to a Broadway show Saturday for Mother's Day. and wow - I haven't seen one in YEARS! so excited.

happy-1 - Wednesday May 04, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

 B - Protein shake, bean and cheese burrito, 5 dak chocolate peanut butter cups

S1 - coffee, half and half

L - 2 chicken burrito tray from trader joes

S2 - 4 chocolate squares, for morale

D - spinach and blue cheese salad from Trader Joes

S3 - Costco sandwich rounds, 7 fake chicken nuggets, apple juice

Got up early to go into the office. traffic was terrible due to freeway exit closure. took me 2.5 hours to go 8 miles. totally scattered. borrowing an empty office so I can get work done.

Lots of work drama today. Hope everything is going to be OK. Having a weird day. People are suddenly realizing that a bunch of projects I proposed need to happen to save on costs at work. So now I need to get a bunch of stuff done yesterday. At the same time, the company might not be around after this week. Or maybe it will go another 3 months.Or maybe it will be wildly successful. Ah, startups. I will be so frustrated if just as I am starting to get it all together and get the hang of it... the company closes. UGH!

Dinner was disappointing. Went to Costco for gas and was too spacey to drive or think so I went into get some sndwich pinwheels. Cheap, and good for the hike tomorrow, but not really a satifying dinner. Woke up with a headache today that kept me in bed an hour and now it is back.

Friend E flaked on camping next weekend. That was the one I needed the stuff for the primitive campsite... Guess I get to return the cooler and water barrel.  Turns out I can't get all my gear to fit in the back with them in it... so I needed to return them anyway for something smaller.

Picked up a coffee press and a cup at Starbucks today for my mom for mother's day... EEEK!  I don't know how but I spent $90. Many happy returns I guess. 

Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/04/2016:
that traffic sounds crazy...sorry to hear! your food though - sounds tasty!

happy-1 on 05/05/2016:
Yours does too! Feel better!

grannyannie on 05/05/2016:
Sounds frustrating! I can't have any chocolate in the house or I eat it!

happy-1 on 05/05/2016:
Dark chocolate is good for your cholesterol and a bunch of other things.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/06/2016:
I am beginning to feel much better this AM thank you!!

happy-1 - Tuesday May 03, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

B - 2 eggs, olive oil, 2 slices of fancy white bread, margerine, stevia lemonade

S1 - Skipped, upset tummy. 1 chocolate kiss

L - Butternut squash risotto

S2 - Vitamin water. Trader Joe's italian wrap pre-hike. Really good! Maybe grilled next time.

D - The majority of a bag of snap peas post hike. I was going for the bulky munch and carbs post hike as a satisfying alternative to face down in something. Actually skipped the bag of chocolate chip cookies in the car.

S3 - Macaroni and cheese with broccoli, fake chicken nuggets, more water.

Back at work today.  It was a rough start this morning!!! Almost called in sick again because I just felt emotionally overwhelmed and unprepared for my workday.

Still doing the Griffith Park night hike tonight. Just doing level 1 though no extra hills or a pack. Just a bottle of water and bug spray. I brought a fancy flashlight for my coworker with poor night vision. Super excited that one of the project managers here is coming on the night hike... We'll be three intrepid souls!

Getting ready for my next camping trip is daunting.  This one is a primitive campsite that you have to bring your own water for (no natural sources) and is in bear country, which means I might need to buy a bear barrel and a water jug/hauler and bring in your own wood... No buying from the camp host. Plus the guy wants us all to do a potluck with spaghetti dinner.

Dad is getting off track on his weight loss plan. Mom read an article about how the Biggest Loser contestants gain weight back and is going off track. http://www.people.com/article/biggest-loser-contestants-regain-weight

Went on the hike. I did level 1, they did level 3. It was awesome. Overwhelm might have been dehydration. As soon as I drank a bunch of water I felt better.

After the hike I went to Walmart and picked up a 4 day ice chest that I will return if it isn't really 4 days and a water barrel.  The ice chest is enormous. It is big enough for me and my dog's food and a camp kitchen, it rolls and it can have firewood lashed to it if I have to go a ways to a primitive campsite.

To sleep and up early to get work done.

Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/03/2016:
i don't think i could ever do camping...too much off diet and too many things out of the ordinary for me to be comfortable with!?

happy-1 on 05/03/2016:
I like it because it seems to reset my body to go to bed on time, lowers my anxiety levels, and makes me feel less hungry. A cabin or RV weekend doesn't seem to do the same thing for me. You can still follow a whole 30 diet on a camping trip if you meal prep. I don't really have that option because I don't have sufficient refrigeration or kitchen setup to do that kind of work.

happy-1 on 05/03/2016:
And FYI... the food poisioning probably came from Carl's jr on the way home, not the trip itself.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/04/2016:
Vitamin waters are tasty :) I used to drink them all the time, but sick of them now! I drank them too much!

I love snap pea chips! they are very tasty!

happy-1 on 05/04/2016:
Yum! Still fried though. Eat fresh ones!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/04/2016:
good ideas, happy!...i can see how traveling can also help you stay on track, regarding the camping - i know it could be good to get out of the house at least!

happy-1 - Monday May 02, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

B - raisin bran and rice milk, a poor life choice I regretted immediately.

S1 - 3ish Late afternoon... two pieces of cheese and some crackers, sunny d juice. Doing a little better. Craving gingerale.

L - Waiting an hour, but will have a lean cuisine chicken parm meal if the cheese and crackers stay put.

S2 - skipped

D -  3 meatballs and parmesan

S3 - a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

Called in sick today. Seems horribly wrong that I have food poisoning but didn't lose any weight.

Made a bunch of meatballs and sauce up because I had some pork sausage leftover from the camping trip to go up up to T's family. They were really good but a little salty. I think that might mellow overnight.


Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 05/03/2016:
awww, feel better! I have had several stomach viruses in the past and they are the WORST!

happy-1 - Sunday May 01, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

There is no shower like the one you take when you get home from camping.

Lost 1 lb this week but did not break the plateau. Somehow gained 3lbs back overnight even though I ate normal and did a lot of walking.

Really need a new cooler. The ice didn't even last 20 hours.

Super cute guy I invited campng turned out to be ultra ultra religous. 

I think I have food poisoning.


B - steak and eggs, 2 sunny d juices

S1 - 2 mini cranberry cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.

L - 2 slices squaw bread, 2 poached eggs, tomato slices, iced coffee

S2 - lean cuisine pasta meal, 3 chicken strips

D - Skipping

S3 - Skipping... Coconut water, 2x

Just called in sick to work tomorrow. Pretty sure I have food poisoning.

A new cooler is sounding less expensive every hour.

Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 05/02/2016:
Food poisoning? Oh no!

happy-1 on 05/02/2016:
Yeah... Not sure how. I'm the only one with it. I think it might have been the chicken sandwich my dog turned her nose up at or the squaw bread and poached eggs.

innerpeace on 05/02/2016:
Hope you feel better. i tried coconut water this weekend, not my favorite. Will stick to flavored taa.

happy-1 on 05/02/2016:
I didn't like it the first time I had it either, but it is great when you are sick. It makes you feel better.

puddles on 05/02/2016:
Sorry your feeling a little under the weather.

happy-1 on 05/02/2016:
Aw thank you! The camping trip was awesome though! It feels great to be outside!

happy-1 - Saturday Apr 30, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 250.8

Left for camping trip. Had a really hard time getting packed and putting everything together. I was a mess. Took forever to pack and unpack. And then repack. So tired of packing and unpacking my car ALL the time.

Ex didn't check in after 3 days so I called the harbormaster... I felt like the crazy ex calling, but I just had this flash that I might be the only person who knew that he was still taking his boat out alone Thursday when the advisory was to stay in and his kid might not think to check on him, and nobody at work would miss him till Monday. Apparently he had a distress call due to choppy seas/strong currents/not enough gas. He's ok now though. He had just pulled in an hour or two before I called the harbormaster.

I know that what I feel for him isn't what he feels for me and I should move on since he doesn't want more kids anymore and deep down I want a happy little family. I'm weirdly angry at him for making me worry about him and not have anyone to call and see if he is OK. Having him not check in was the most awful feeling.  A cold snake coiled around my gut squeezing tight. Piled on top of work drama... Oh what a recipe for a sleepless night.

A smelly dog sharing my tent fighting me for my sleeping pad didn't help either! My dog definitely does not like the idea of camping... Or being cold. At 102, I guess I cannot blame her.


B - Sausage muffin

S1 - Del taco combo meal

L - 1/2 a Carls Jr combo meal that I shared with my dog.

S2 - A handful of potato chps

D - Spaghetti potluck dinner

S3 - Rice milk and sweetner

Progress as of today: 57.2 lbs lost so far, only 70.8 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Friday Apr 29, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - Healthy breakfast burrito

S1 - Coffee. Half and half. 1 strip of bacon.

L - Turkey chili, brown rice, 2 pieces of cheese, 2 small guacamole packets, vitamin water

S2 - 7 fake chicken nuggets, bbq sauce, raisin bran, milk

D - 2 chicken legs and part of a breast, apple juice

S3 - 2 slices of fancy white bread from Costco with margerine. Water.

Was super sore this morning... Super tired... and it showed... was walking around at work this morning and had problems standing up fast. People were like... "What's wrong?" I'm like "I went hiking with the Sierra Club and the old people beat me."  I very nearly called in sick this morning. But I got out of bed and went anyway. Need to sleep more before I can drive to the campsite though. Going tomorrow morning. Driving tired is a recipe for trouble. Mom offered to go to Costco for me, but I will go Monday when my paycheck clears. I'm looking forward to next week. Trying to get more coworkers to join me for the Griffith park night hikes.

Looking forward to weighing myself in the morning. I feel lighter/skinnier. Like maybe I broke my 250lb plateau and I will magically be below it... despite how much I ate this week!

... and maybe magically my ex will fall madly in love with me and straighten out and treat me better.

Yeah, right. Good thing he didn't answer his phone today. Why are Friday nights so lonely?


Another day of packing and unpacking the car ritual. All ready to go for my doggie tomorrow. I still need to pack my pack and some dog food for camping in the morning. I got multiple calls from the campers that are already there to bring more beer. They must be having fun. I think I am going to have like a $200 liqour bill in the morning from all the requests.


So my mom went to Costco and I asked her to bring back some cookies I could take to the camping potluck tomorrow... and her medical weightloss diet must be getting to her because she brought back this ENORMOUS $16 tray of cookies from Costco that would have fed 50 people at a church gathering. I immediately made her give me a lift back to Costco (too crampy to drive) to return it... They didn't want to let me because they had closed the membership registers.. but I made them take it back.  No way can I have an enormous tray of cookies around my dad... he would have gone straight through them and blown his weightloss plan.... and I and my mom would have followed.  A small box I could stick in my car of something that wasn't too tempting, sure... but an enormous tray of different kinds of chocolate cookies? OMG. 

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

feardfear on 04/30/2016:
Hey Happy. It's great you're going to your hikes. I love hiking as well.

let us know if you broke your plateau!! good luck!

happy-1 on 04/30/2016:
The Sierra Club conditioning hikes are great because the peer pressure to keep the pack together and keep up really gets you moving and everyone is social and likes other people so there are people to talk to get your mind off how you are going to die and fall over at any minute and before you know it you are all done and back at the bottom of the mountain again.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/30/2016:
good choice to return the cookies :)

I hope you are also feeling better now after a week from the last hike!

Night hikes sound awesome!

happy-1 on 05/01/2016:
Thank you!!! I felt so tacky... But I had to do it.

happy-1 - Thursday Apr 28, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - Healthy breakfast burrito, apple soda.

S1 - Coffee, Half and half

L - Big beef taco meal - MFF + guac packet and salsa packet

S2 - Yogurt raisins, 7 fake chicken nuggets, 2 ketchup packets, a packet of crumb cake mini muffins

D - veggie tray, orange, cheese, ritz bits

S3 - Everything in my fridge.


Feeling a lot better today, despite staying up till 2am last night to file all my overdue weekly progress reports. 3 months worth... (oy vey).  The horrors of ADHD. My mom sat on skype with me so I would focus and actually get it done. It also sounds like some of the work drama is lessening.  There is a ton of beer in the fridge here.  I think the guys blew off some steam last night.

Super cute guy I met on the hike Tues night texted so I gave him a call and we had a nice chat. It was nice to talk to someone who actually shares about their life unlike my ex, with whom everything is a state secret.

Need to figure out cooler situation for this weekend. My cooler is a piece of junk. it is ready to be turned into a swamp cooler compared to the new stuff that is out.... and a couple hundred bucks!!!!! Tired of having food go bad by sunday morning if I bring cold stuff, even if I freeze as much as I can... plus my plan was to get a cooler at costco when I bought food tomorrow, but work drama means I should conserve my cash. That also means that everything I froze to be ice up here will melt because my crap cooler is at my parents hours away.


Afternoon adhd med was missing from pill packet on desk. I hope nobody swiped it and I just forgot. Massive cramps and super hungry all day. Plus I overslept because I was up late and I didn't get a shower.

Griffith park hike tonight. 

Did a real level 2 hike with Sierra club tonight. OMG. I may die. Everything hurts and I cannot stand. My legs are jello. 


Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 04/28/2016:
Good job!

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
Trying!!! Thank you

cybermom4 on 04/29/2016:
Happy 1 that is great!! Don't let the work get you down. It 's just work. Your real life is hiking and exploring life!!

happy-1 on 04/29/2016:
Yes! I will be like Reese Witherspoon in Wild, except I will do Adirondacks, instead of Pacific Crest. I will drop my 72lbs and move like a deer through the woods instead of a whiney water buffalo.

You should have seen the senior citizens just go straight up the mountain goat trail to take the shortcut to the path to the helipad... What was that movie where the aliens live in the pool of a nursing home and all the old people are young again?

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/29/2016:
1. what is the apple soda? sounds cool...

2. what's in your breakfast burrito sounds nice by the name of it!

3. salsa's always a nice side!

4. did you enjoy the fake nuggests? sounds not good by the way you say it LOL! i'd call them veggie nuggets? what are they made from! it's so crazy, I've seen things made from both mushroom and even eggplant (some not so tasty! - as I try a lot of things!)

5. veggie tray = AWESOME!

6. I have ADHD too. I once needed to pack for a trip & my best friend actually stayed at my house when I was still living with my parents & she HELPED ME PACK! how nice is that! oh my. my ADHD is not diagnosed, but I know I have it. I get distracted SO EASILY. at least i'm blessed with some brains, which is GREAT! this means that even though i'm constantly distracted, I am able to focus just long enough to meet deadlines and not get into any real troubles basically ever.

7. Right now, I'm procrastinating while at work.

8. I started taking anxiety meds just this year (i'm 33 - and I started the meds around mid September - never before in my life.) anyways, coincidentally, I lost my pills that I was supposed to take for yesterday - but luckily I still have the rest of the bottle...lol.

good luck with the cooler situation!

happy-1 on 04/29/2016:
1. Dry sodas are the best... I hate super sweet stuff and fake sugar substitutes even though I drink them. Sometimes I see the apple dry sodas at the 99 cent store. http://www.drinkhacker.com/2013/09/13/review-dry-sodas/

2. I like the sweet earth burritos. Lots of flax seed. http://www.target.com/p/sweet-earth-protein-lovers-breakfast-burrito-3pk-15oz/-/A-23974695#prodSlot=medium_1_29&term=burritos

3. Yes... but I need to find salsa cups for lunches that don't have corn syrup hiding inside!

4. Yes, I worry about chicken nuggets being full of gross stuff so I buy the fake kind that taste more like chicken than actual chicken... why are they more expensive if they don't have chicken??? http://www.target.com/p/quorn-chik-n-nuggets-10-6-oz/-/A-14793175#prodSlot=medium_1_3&term=quorn

5. Yum! the little cup of ranch dressing doesn't hurt either ;)

6. I know what you mean. I have a terrible time with packing. I want to take everything. I try to keep "sets" pre-packed so I can just assemble and go.

7. Me too. It's been a stressful day.

8. ADHD/anxiety is a wicked combo, I hear. How are you feeling since you started? I started back again around May of last year I think. I have had radical life improvements.

9. Thanks for the good wishes! I am going to see what I can find on craigslist maybe.

happy-1 - Wednesday Apr 27, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

Logging an entry for yesterday... which was kind of a mess.  Lots of drama... Work is having a bit of drama... makes me nervous about job stability although folks who have been here a long time say this happens a couple of times a year. I was uber-pms, which brought fuzzy-headedness and a hard time driving. Took my car to the dealer to ask about paint issues and extended warranties and apparently extended warranty is junk. I need to wash my car... I haven't for like a year. It is just sitting in my brain as this unwashed thing.

Not sure what I ate yesterday. It was mostly ok, whatever it was except that I also went to Wendy's and had a small diet coke (no refills), 4 chicken nuggets, and a jr bacon cheeseburger.

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

happy-1 - Tuesday Apr 26, 2016
(Just staying out of restaurants for 90 days)
Weight: 251.8

B - 1/2 a pack of veggie nuggets, protein shake

S1 - Coffee, half and half.

L - MFF chicken enchiladas

S2 - fancy organic choc chip cookie packet. not worth the $

D - 1/2 turkey wrap, bag of chips pre-hike. Protein shake post sierra club hike.

S3 - mystery MFF meal... Lost the label.


New mix of ADHD meds is interesting... I feel so much less foggy... but I have no idea where my time goes... I just look up and it's an hour or two gone. Last night when the study group didn't happen at 6pm I did a few things with plans to do work later and then got no work done. Or barely any. Here's what I did last night, based on credit card, text history, and RescueTime

5pm - Hard stop at work. Drove to user group.

6pm - User group was cancelled at 5:30. Had ENORMOUS BURGER.

6:30 - Then I went to 99 cent store for basics. Attracted attention of the homeless lady who is normally outside the store bcause I towed my portable office roller behind me and she wanted to know what I had in there. Had to bail without making a purchase.  Grrr. 

7pm - Went to REI to return extra pack and camel bak for a dry bag that doubles as a bucket and a mini emergency kit and some more cord. Trying out my backpacking setup.

8pm - Repacked car to drive carpool to Griffith park tonight! 

8:30pm - Went to starbucks to work on stuff. Ended up texting my ex that I miss him. I made him a mix tape while he was in Afghanistan and they were playing all the best songs on it. Did manage to figure out minor tech glitch for work.

10 - They kicked us out. Went to Vons to get everything I didn't get at the 99 cent store... WHERE IT COST ME $80!!!!!!!!

11:00pm - Got to mid week crashpad at T's house. Unloaded car. (4 bags... cooler, Linens/laundry, work clothes, portable office). Unpacked. Meant to only take a couple of minutes to throw some band aids in a bag for the hike today but instead was up till 1am assembling a first aid kit.

1:30ish went to bed.

5:30 AM. Hit snooze.

7:30 Woke up... No shower for me today. Also no 2 hours of me time at starbucks for homework and personal business that I desperately need to pull life together. 

8am: Standup meeting with offshore team. I was on mute while I ate breakfast and got dressed.  Had to tell T's parents about work drama so that they know what's going on with me and why I am stressed out on way out door then run off.

8:25am: Left for work.

9:15 - Finished getting dressed in parking lot.

9:30 - Started work

Progress as of today: 56.2 lbs lost so far, only 71.8 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 04/26/2016:
Wow you do more in one night than I do in an entire week. Gracious! Hope you can pull things together like you want.

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Hugs! Thank you. I feel like I get nothing done and I am constantly falling apart. Trying to get my mtm together... Meals, time, money.

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Or rather I get a lot of busywork done but nothing that is a high priority with actual value that will help me progress towards my goals.

happy-1 on 04/26/2016:
Or rather I get a lot of busywork done but nothing that is a high priority with actual value that will help me progress towards my goals.

feardfear on 04/27/2016:
Vons is the worst. Talk about overpricing everything.

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
OMG.... I was stunned. I almost went and returned everything. Cash is a little tight right now.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 04/27/2016:
yeah, I'd never want to buy a "fancy" sugary treat. Only fancy I buy includes protein...like protein cookies & bars. but not regular candy or cookies...

...easy to be tempted though :)

sorry to hear your group was cancelled....you can do this :)

happy-1 on 04/28/2016:
I can! I will! I will conquer.

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