1960 5-day average = pretty good for sure, getting lower if I keep some low days. tomorrow I will NOT be at the gym. Planning on going Friday after work. And then sunday night. I took only 1 day off this week, but got a lot of rest days in a row since Sunday which is really good. my shoulder is starting to feel better a little bit. the more I can rest it, the better.
So far thru morning & 120 yogurt later, kombucha 70, banana 130, bar 220, coffee 40, grapes 80
Lunch 450 (microwaved spinach mixed with with a Smart Ones microwave meal of Macaroni & Cheese).
Left work at 4pm (half hour early) to go to dermatologist. Glad I left early, because with the small shopping (buying food at specialty store near the derm.) and with derm. apt, I finally was home at 6:30pm. So, glad I did leave work at 4pm! Everyone else leaves when they want to, and i'm literally exhausted / sick...so....yeah, I put myself first today, thank god. As soon as I woke up this morning, felt like I needed to leave work at 4pm since I knew I had a dermatologist appt. Glad I did...less traffic getting there as well.
Snack on way to derm: blueberries around 100 and bought a flavored sparkling water.
Huge dinner, but pretty much healthy stuff (bought it all tonight near my Dermatologist - it's in a HUGE shopping center with awesome food of course!) pickles 50, lots of roasted brussel sprouts 100 at most i'd say?, seaweed salad 100?, beef jerky that I already had (wanted lots of salt) 200, chips 150. total: 600. good. could be more, but i'll just say 600!
total today: around 1700, good...much better. and tomorrow, I will keep it low as well as Friday & Saturday. I should - my dress fitting is on sunday! It's my next to last fitting i'd say!
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Worry-free Wednesday. I’ll think positive, why not. It’s my only option I do know….because being so negative isn’t helping me feel better sooner. So there. I’m trying today.
2,025 4-day average
6am: kombucha 70
8:30am: banana bigger 150, bar 150
Snack: yogurt 120
Total Before lunch: 500.
Lunch: popcorn 160, tofu 50, spinach up to 100, and other veggies sautéed 200? around 500plum 50
snack before short walk: strawberries 100 (had a lot of them)
Dinner: lean cuisine noodles in ricotta sauce 300 mixed into in an entire microwaved package of shredded cabbage100. also had some saag on the cabbage prob around 100 and chips 150 higher carb / higher salt. total for dinner is: 600-650
total cals: 1800, good. exercise: I actually did a 20 min walk while on phone with my coworker and friend Jen.
We planned to spend a night in AC & BOOKED it! :) yay. It's for the weekend DIRECTLY after the wedding weekend! LOL LOL LOL. I figured this: why not! it's one night, Friday night. So, i'll take off work then. New vaca days start in April. And I don't feel bad about taking a day. Not at all...even with my week off before the wedding. I DON'T care and people WILL understand since I never take days off. (in 5 months, I've taken 1 sick day).
whatever. April cannot come soon enough.
Sick again. Been feeling sicky since Sunday night. Nothing major. Just slight nasal drip down my throat and mostly dry coughing. From exhaustion. I don't do well without days off.
Thinking about taking tomorrow off to make up for skipping gym today or i'll just go to the gym after work. Yes, this sounds better. I was going to go to the dermatologist after work tomorrow, but i'd rather go to the gym & make up for today!
I hope to be back at the gym by Thursday this week. Skipping it today and Thursday if i'm still sick. Run down and pissed off. Final decision.
Listening to the strangest news topic on tv this morning. It's not something that I have heard before on tv for here in Queens. I've heard it for 3rd world countries where they have nothing, but not for the city here. It's very times forward, very pro-women. It's about high schools putting free pads and tampons in their bathrooms in certain schools in Queens so that women who get their periods during the school day do not have to leave school or go home or something - they can go to the bathroom at school & get what they need (free). Makes sense. Just weird to hear it on tv & hear high school girls speaking so matter-of-factly about themselves and support for this new system on public tv. Those girls and the program are doing a great job for the rest of us. Those high school girls should be proud of themselves to be able to discuss in such a healthy manner their own feelings. I could never have spoken so eloquently on such a topic when I was back in high school! Ummmm, sorry OR.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
2100 3-day avg. I am run down. I need some time off. I'll have to think better the remainder of this month while at work.
Ok, logging back in now at 9:30am at work - just realized something awesome...in 9 days, just NINE days, I'll be off from work. I don't have much longer till some much needed rest. Oh thank you lord! It'll be just around the 6month mark of no vaca and it'll be so nice to be able to rest at home & feel good at the wedding. Oh thank you lord for giving me the strength to plug thru and feel better. Just realizing that - looking at my calendar and realizing that I don't have even 2 full weeks to go - is helping me so much - I feel so good about that. Under two weeks & I am thru!
total before lunch: around 560, good. feeling wiped. just chilling. could have used another day to do nothing...but...that doesn't pay bills right? so like I said, just chilling...and trying to use as little energy as humanly possible today at work.
Lunch: doubt it's more than 550.
on way home: orange. 90
HUGE dinner: half a chicken breast with skin around 200?, then spinach 50, and tons of different assortments of oily / marinated veggies of different types in my fridge all fabulous 500 at most for those. total here: around 750.
total today: 1950 or so. worth it. need to eat better right now. don't want to feel sick. oh crap...and chips. 100 or so more.
total today: 2050. or so. hopefully not more.
I do feel tired, I do feel emotional, I do feel like I want to be home & in bed. I will try to relax here at work, and move at a slower pace. It's all I can do right now to help myself. I don't feel great. Last night I did have a sore throat again this winter for which I luckily had some medicine at home which did in fact help me sleep through the night & wish that I could sleep even longer. I'll be ok. No plans after work tonight & I have a lot of food at home. I may pick up some cabbage or something to eat with what I have bc the lettuce expired and I have to throw it out. but that's all I need. maybe pick up a rotisserie chicken too and eat some for dinner. Been eating too much beef jerky. Need some healthy nutrition in me. Chicken is better than beef jerky for sure. and it'll taste good all nice and warm from supermarket.
I really am not feeling that great. I'm working on changing my mental attitude for today. Just need to realize that i'm at a difficult place right now and it's meant to be a challenge and I am able to get through it.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
thank you for the kind advice.
Sunday around 2200 cal. Did go to gym but tried to be extra careful not to further injure my shoulder. I think i'll be ok. It's not hurting bad at all & range of motion is 100%. Praying it gets better soon so I can keep up my workouts till the wedding & take the break when wedding is over 4/2. I do plan on most of April off from gym.
Happy Sunday. Just chilling. Weight was back around 116-117 this morning. I have an old-school scale, not digital. Having an increase in calories this week did not raise my weight at all.
Shoulder is sore. Yesterday, I paid for a massage for my upper back & shoulder which is probably why it's more sore today. It doesn't have any loss of range of motion though. This is why I'm not skipping the gym today. I don't have much time till the wedding...and i'm happy with not missing any days this month. Come April, I may just take the ENTIRE month off the gym depending how I feel at that point!!!
8am: Tart Cherry Kevita kombucha 70
9am: HUGE protein pancake: egg whites 100, peanut butter 100, peanut butter protein powder 110, stevia, oats 100, and little bit of coconut water 20 all in blender and then cooked. was really cool consistency like a cake. peanut butter was spread on top actually along with some sugar free jelly 30. Total here: 460
10:45: decided to snack on a little of the Indian Bhindi (okra) and caffeine drink around 170 at most.
total so far: around 700, good.
1:30pm: more okra 100, saag 150?, beef jerky 110, and some basmati rice yes really ! 150 at most for the rice. total around 500. hungry I guess.
3:15 entire lb strawberries 150
4pm before gym: raw revolution organic / natural bar 230 calories of chocolate goodness. totally let myself eat at my own free will today. But, I do want to get back on track tomorrow. it's been overall a nice week of indulging throughout...must try the Chinese tonight which i'll order while i'm at the gym. i'm still craving fats / carbs / salt.
1580 before dinner, good.
...not killing myself this weekend with low calories. at first, I thought I would, but now that i'm home and chilling, it just seems better this way. I honestly might skip the gym. hoping I turn my thinking around. lol. trying out a new Chinese place later, it's takout - 3 dishes for $30 - should last me the week.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
Happy Saturday.
Evening Edit: spent all afternoon from 1pm-6pm today running errands. Very productive & happy at home now!
I was thinking about my own weight & how successful as of late I am at managing it. When I was first hired at my job, last day of January 2011, I weighed around 135 (maybe a few lbs under but in the 130's)...and since then, I am close to losing 20lbs! So...this is my results with a desk job. It's my intrinsic, self-motivation that made it happen. So i'm proof - anything is possible if you want it badly enough.
I am still around 118 many days although I think I was really close to 116 one morning this week. I really want to be 115 by the wedding & will be. the week of the wedding i'm going on a diet similar to what a body builder would do, although i'm not researching it yet. Not sure on specifics bc i'm not interested in giving it further thought or research right now.
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Morning Entry:
I do have a few errands that I do need to do today including getting a dress hemmed up a little bit. It's the dress for the rehearsal dinner & i'm happy this is a more low-key weekend so that I can get it done. Then, I'll have enough time till before the wedding still & not be rushing to do this last moment! And laundry today. I think anything else can really wait till tomorrow - at Ieast that's what I am thinking now - things may change a hair :)
Finally also starting to use my at-home tooth bleaching kit that I bought from the dentist for $100 for 10 at-home treatments this past Monday. I wanted to try it this weekend to start instead of during the week with everything going on. I am starting one 20 minute treatment right now. And also I will do one before bed. I'll try to use 4 this weekend (morning & evening on Sat & Sun). It's easier to use when i'm more relaxed and have the time to sit with it in my mouth, you know? Maybe I'll just use them weekends right now, actually...we'll see what the results are after 1 use to determine.
Dentist said I can continue & purchase another 10-use package if I want to when i'm done with this one - so we will see. And yes, I'm doing this for the wedding mostly. But, my teeth were getting a little too stained anyways, so this is good anyways. I am a coffee drinker as well as drinking the kombucha which is acidic. So, yeah. This at home tooth bleaching system is great right now.
8am: kombucha 120
10am: popcorn 160
11am: cheese puffs 150
11:30 lunch: salad with some olives and other veggies mixed with cooked kale 100, some balsamic vinegrette 100, chicken and some tofu 250 most and chips around 180. Total around 650 with a drink too 30. 1100.
While running errands: granola bar 100, chips 150
Snack plum 50
1400 before dinner
6pm: salad 50 at most, tons of cooked kale around 150? with some Indian saag around 100? and okra around 150?, beef jerky 110, and chips 100. total: around 650.
Total today: Healthy 2050. Perfect. I am happy I did my own thing, all day. everything worked out really well.
On a side note, even though we haven't dated, texting / phone calls have reached a new level of intimacy with "my man." he's not really my man, but he's my guy I text and i'm his girl as well. I know for a fact that there is NOBODY else in his life besides me. That we have a semi-emotional relationship going on, without the physical intimacy. But things are not stagnant, and he's letting me open up more and more & he's not running away. thankful for this.
On another side note, this same man - the first day I ever saw him, I was hooked. And the first time I saw him, i'll never forget, I only saw the back of him in at first...and then, when I saw his face, I was done for! :) Turns out, his personality is out of the world. I'd never have guessed it then that i'd actually be compatible with him. it's nice. I hope it works out in the end with him....he knows I have the wedding of course & that i'm very busy this month. he knows I don't even want to think of getting together this month. it's not a subject we are talking about this month ! lol.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
Fab Friday
8120 per day average this week = excellent work :) and got to indulge a bit too!
I do have to do one errand tomorrow: get my dress i'm wearing to the rehearsal dinner taken up a hair. It's a strange length and I am taking it up a little so it doesn't rest so close to my knees....so that it looks more fun and less professional / formal. I need to get it done so that I'm not doing it last moment at the end of March. :)
So...eating a lot of salt last night at dinner....and then the chips 2 servings = I actually got very tired after dinner & slept thru the night. It must have strangely been what I needed.
Anyways, no gym tonight. I'm going to try to go Friday night but I have a feeling that I may be skipping 1 workout this month so that I don't overdo / injure / or stress myself out within reason. I do hope to be feeling better on Friday after work. If I am, it means I can work out & not skip any workouts this month. Going to try. I can tell based on how I felt this morning (like a hangover) that I need my rest tonight. No gym today. I know it's the right choice for today. Starting to feel run down.
Early Morning at home: kombucha 4 servings. (4 cups / 2 bottles) 130
Work: green tea with equal...and also Dunkin Donuts croissant with egg and bacon. I am seriously craving salt. I know why - I am getting really tired. I know this....this is what happened last time. I am not going to the gym tonight. I need to rest. And last night was amazing, no sleeping pill & I slept straight thru the night - first time in such a long time. My body needs extra rest right now. I may skip the gym tomorrow as well so that I only go 2x this week instead of 3x to prevent further feeling exhausted and/or injury. Too much is no good. I am also canceling plans on coworker this weekend because I do not want to go out to eat. I want to be home & rest up (as well as do all errands / chores / gym). that's enough.
Home: 150 at most Kombucha
10am Dunkin Donuts at work: yummy croissant 300 with 1 piece or so of bacon 50, and egg 100. Total around 450
need a break this week I want tastier breakfasts right now and no more bars or oatmeal. It’s going to be a deal for tomorrow. Happy I’m not working out tonight. Too beat. And my shoulder hurts slightly (hardly, but enough to get me to realize I need to rest.)
Lunch: Chips 160, egg white wrap 400. Total around 550. 1150.
Drive home: orange, got a ticket of $160 for talking on my cell phone...yup.
dinner: prob not more than 550 (lots of veggies, popcorn 150, mock chicken 300 or so?).
total today: good - 1800.
1840 6-day avg. good.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
1850 5-day average.
I have to say, i'm seriously sick of being disrespected by older folks as of late. I'll talk more about this later if I have time.
I have a neighbor who has a high up positition in my overall industry (not my company but people know of him here). And he's my apt neighbor right across when I open my door his door faces me. He always comes home and slams the darn door. so hard. I always wonder how anyone can be so busy that they can't shut the door with some care so that all the other neighbors don't have to be bothered. It's so annoying I can hear his door slam in my bedroom which isn't even close to the hallway...
Also, same neighbor, treats me like I WORK FOR HIM! I don't like being spoken down to. And no longer am I. Because I'm giving him the same crap he gives me. No more. He's my neighbor. I don't work for him. I'm not his daughter. He's not my boss. This has me so angry. I am about to ask him why he slams his door because it's starting to really anger me.
I have 4 apts on my floor and my other two neighbors / families NEVER slam their doors. I don't get how anyone is too busy to treat people with respect and also to close the door to their homes / apt with care and not slam it....
Same with work. I'm sick of one boss in particular ignoring me. so rude. i'll give him the same attitude he gives me straight back.
Same with my gym. The owner is in his late 30's and I pay him $600 a year (now leaving in May for a gym half that price!). but he is rude to people who pay big money to go there. It's sad it took me this long to quit my current gym. I should have stayed there only 1 year tops. It's because I wasn't feeling good / had a bad injury that everything was difficult. So happy to get outta there. If I am paying you $600...don't yell in my face....never again will I go to that gym, no matter how convenient. I can't wait to continue to tell him off (the owner of the gym - not a chain - just his gym - and he has no common courtesy or class.)
Usually I don't get so fed up with folks - but I think it's helping me move on, out of this job, and take better control over the direction my life and future is going. I am glad I am starting to not take everyone's crap. My neighbor, i'll probably do something so that he stops slamming the door. maybe i'll talk to management to hang a sign, not sure. he's so stupid. I can't even slam mine, it's just so rude. i'll probably do nothing. but it's really something, I tell you.
Wednesday
1am: Beef Jerky 150. Couldn't sleep, caffeine and on purpose I skipped a sleeping pill. needed to be off them bc I was getting too tired during day at work.
5:45am: kombucha. 70. total 220, good. aminos 30
At work: will be oatmeal 160 made with 1/2 cup almond milk 20, and a small banana 120. 300.
Snack will be a granola bar I think 100. Too hungry, had a warmed up Quest Chocolate Brownie Protein Bar 170
720.
Lunch: healthy - mostly cabbage and some other veggies 100, little bit of leftover avocado 50, fried okra 250, tofu 50. around 500-550 is my estimate.
around 1250, good.
snack: strawberries 50. and seltzer.
1300.
dinner: thinking more beef jerky. craving salt...
snack before dinner because I was at dermatologist still at 6pm granola bar 100 and came home late after 7pm.
dinner: gave in again. had chips. had too many veggies, some sauce & beef jerky.
will have to say at most 2200 today. I am going to skip the gym tomorrow because I am not feeling good...I am starting to feel exhausted. Instead, i'll come home & chill. Yup. Going to skip the gym tomorrow. also, I slightly pulled something I think in my shoulder. I need to rest. NOT going to gym tomorrow. too tired out. body is telling me to rest.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
Turbulent Tuesday!...In a good way, like I’m weathering the most torrential storm.
Progress as of today: 10 lbs lost so far, only 1 lbs to go!
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Ah, sweetheart phone conversations - I remember those now - my husband and I talk on the phone mostly to decide who's picking up dinner!! LOL
I really hope it works with me & him. He's actually starting to turn around in a good way. he's starting to open up & the conversations are just very sweet. and when we say goodbye, he sounds so sweet. I already am missing his voice tonight! He's 44, never married, and not used to dating anymore. I think he's wonderful.