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horn_of_plenty - Monday Feb 15, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

Current weight is still stable at 118. having trouble getting it lower, but overall feeling slimmer. I am proud to be able to maintain but must admit that maintaining even 118 takes dedication....I now have to decide if, after this wedding, that maintaining my weight, lower weight, is important enough to me to stay dedicated. Honestly, I think yes - I've gone so far, learned so much since September in this process from being sick to getting healthy again emotionally - that I think I do have the drive, dedication, and resolve to continue.

....but after this wedding and winter, I also resolve to reach down deep inside myself & make sure I love myself first & foremost at where I am at that moment...because I also want to find a suitable companion and/or move forward the semi-relationship I have going on now...whatever it is, i'll be focusing on myself (not my best friend or family) and resolving to COMPLETE myself. because this is most important.

1799/3day avg. pretty good., it's def not a bad average! and Sunday with the gym, I am quite sure I burned close to 2200 with my type of hard-core workouts.

_________________________________________________

My muscles pop more at the gym. still a ways to go from what I really want to look like, but I can't say I look bad. many times at the gym, my muscles in my arms are more visible than many guys.

1st Main Goal for 2016: 100 pushups in a row (goal without time limit other than to get it done this year!) Right now, I'm up to around 60 at most in a row.

Monday Madness? Off from work for President's Day.

It's 11:15am I have already got a lot done, much more than expected today: laundry, organized & paid my bills including the annual dreaded Co-Op AllState Insurance, organized Tax info again (for some reason, I have AT LEAST like 7 tax documents to give my accountant, vacuumed carpet areas, vacuumed the dust out of my heater filters so that I can feel better that the air that is circulating is not having to seep its way thru dusty filters!....and now gonna read. Happy about this day off. It's both relaxing & productive. Also making a few phone calls and appointments including therapy schedule (I go usually 1x a month) so i'd like to schedule it for at least the next 6 months over the phone today!

_________________________________________________

Food: 

7:30-8:30am indulged in some partially fried / partially heavily sautéed in oil Indian style  okra, big portion 400.. kombucha 70. more kombucha 50 520 total & hopfeully not more.  Not the smartest move to indulge but i'm off from work & gave into the craving. 

11am: protein bar 200

1pm: okra "bhindhi" Indian dish I bought and had some of 150 at least, and then a little of the spinach dish (saag) 150: 300 at least.

total so far: 1020 or so. fine.

2pm fruit (plum) 50

1070 / maybe more like 1100. good.

snack: couple fruit chews 50

Early dinner (later I will have 1 protein bar): more Indian spinach (saag). a bit too much of it - up to 3 cups, not sure 600 or so.

1950...yeah up-day I guess!....and then a bar. not low calories, but not bad calories. I guess you can say I gave myself a huge break this weekend with calories, but didn't splurge. maybe this is what I need more. With the short week, i'll keep doing what I think is best...

no exercise. did a few errands. glad to be home, it's snowing again...if I lose my appetite, i'll go to bed without the protein bar.

Just need to pick up a few things at the supermarket - fruit, eggs, rotisserie chicken...that may be it, actually! I may save the supermarket for Wednesday or contemplate skipping fully this week. I think today I may just go to the appointment & come back home. Really not in the mood for any extra errands....really!

________________________________________________

Last night, I called my best friend coming back from my appointment at 5pm & spoke to her while I drove to get my dinner and then  even talked while I ate dinner (which I specifically did NOT want to do bc it makes me eat more I have noticed, I wanted to have dinner without interruption especially the phone call...) and then even continued talking to her after dinner. TWO HOURS.

I do not like these long phone calls anymore. I think I overindulged on dinner last night because I was distracted on the phone and didn't plan out what I was eating well.

Dinner Calories could have been much lower. Also, today, even though I indulged early on, I am going to make a point to have a healthy, low calorie day. I am not impressed with my calories for this weekend. I am trying & the weight will stay on if I do not make changes. Only 1.5 months to go before wedding! wahoo!

Never wished him a Happy Valentines and obviously same for him to me...but we did text. and that's enough. He is going thru some things worse than me I think. I think he has anxiety in even thinking about dating. I just keep showing him my softer side though. I cannot imagine ignoring or stopping our texting. I can't do it to him or myself. We have a thing going & I want to let it continue. I have too many feelings for him to let it go.

Last night, after midnight and closer to 1am, I sent him a text thanking him for texting me first on Sunday. I had requested he do it (he's only ever - IN TWO & A HALF YEARS - TEXTED ME FIRST 1X..NOW 2X WITH VALENTINES DAY INCLUDED)  for some reason, I needed him to text first. and he did. he didn't wish me a happy valentines, but he texted me. he is struggling.

I am supportive of the poor guy...I don't usually think of him this way, I like to think of him as successful and strong.  anyways, I thanked him for texting me even though he was probably not so pleased to have to do it...and what he sent me was a photo of chocolate but it was very risqué and not something I can tell was authentically from him (his friend must have influenced him big time...)...and I said to him that I was forgetting about it, since I knew it wasn't fully him...and that's it.

I know he regretted sending me the chocolate photo (trust me, I don't think it'd be appropriate to give any more details now)...I know he regretted sending it because when I commented early yesterday morning he did text back trying to cover himself and reasons for sending it...I don't want any bad feelings between him & myself and that's why last night I told him that I am forgetting about it.

Oh, in case you ARE wondering what the photo was: a man's you know what, in dark chocolate, with white chocolate you know what at the tip....yes (so not exactly a photo of the real thing, but just as detailed in chocolate)....my guy NEVER suggests or talks about this kinda stuff. It's very off for him to send me anything like this. He obviously drank....and made a decision that wasn't fully his...his friend must have really influenced him...and I am feeling horrible that my guy feels even more HORRIBLE for sending it to me! :( 

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

puddles on 02/15/2016:
Have you ever read the book "co-dependent no more" it is a life changing read. I really don't remember the name of the author. Have a great day J.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/15/2016:
Thanks Puddy...I will look into the book & get it from the library I think :)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/15/2016:
Also, are you suggesting the book regarding my best friend or the guy or both?


Duaa123. on 02/15/2016:
All of us may eat wrong but keep going and drink green tea ... and for your man, you said at the end you don't want bad feeling between you and him . Think again about this sentence ... hope you has great days always.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/15/2016:
Can you explain what you mean about not wanting bad feelings & to think again about it Duaa? I am not sure what you mean.


Duaa123. on 02/15/2016:
I mean I think you should face him and talk to him kindly about answers that you hope to know from him .

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/15/2016:
Oh, I understand you now. I agree with your advice, good advice & thank you. Him & I are in need of a few good talks :-D

Also, I know your man didn't mean any harm when he said that you are Muslim and that Valentine's is not a muslim holiday. Hmmm, maybe you can tell him it may not be a muslim holiday, but that YOU CELEBRATE IT :-) I hope you did have a nice Valentine's Day too.


puddles on 02/15/2016:
I think it would help in both situations but most of all it will teach you how to put yourself first in situations. It is a great book on assessing what you do and why you do it and what are you getting out of these situations. Sometime we are not even aware of thing we do but when you see it written down you realize the red flags that we allow into our lives. When you do read it your first impression will probably be wow this sounds like really being selfish but it really is not selfish to put ourselves first.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/15/2016:
Thank you again Fran. I'm going to request the book from my library & will read it in the next couple months...after I finish the two books I have at home. I may even read it first, before my next book. I do realize I am in need of more outside advice and support (from this book for instance) in helping me reach my goals and grow as a woman. Thank you Fran.



horn_of_plenty - Sunday Feb 14, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

Sunny Sunday.

Sunday Plans: mostly gym and also a facial later at 4pm which is good. better to get facials in the evening bc they put a special serum on your face at the place I go to that is for overnight. So the next time I would wash my face is the next morning. More healing time & better for results when I get facials in the late afternoon / evenings.

Took another sleeping pill last night. Slept a ton, but did wake up with a dry mouth a few times and cough during the night. Overall, getting lots of sleep & feeling good about this. I'll be over this cold by next weekend for my sister's Bridal Shower :-)

It's starting off pretty well on Valentine's Day. I got a text after midnight from "my man." Of course nothing is typical with us. We have a lot of opening up still to do with each other. Right now, things are definitely taking many turns it seems. All is...good I guess.  So, we've texted. I just tried to call him, I think he's afraid to answer. Darn him. I just want to say "happy valentine's day!" not as lovers or in a dating relationship...by the end of today, i'll say it to him on the phone. no worries...

10:30-11:30  Breakfast: some seltzer and stevia, new brand of Kombucha 50 that seems "not strong enough" in terms of probiotics....we shall see.  More kombucha 60 and a plum 50. Total here: 160.

bar 130, energy drink 20.

1pm lunch before gym (very late start before gym...will be a faster gym session, feeling very tired today...sleeping pill still hasn't worn off and it's 1:20pm!): oatmeal - but a special mix with coconut flakes and extra protein 160, almond milk 30, chocolate peanut butter 100, egg whites 30, big banana 150: 470. VERY FILLING...hopefully I can do this workout before the facial....gonna be a very FAST workout today.

after gym: bar 150

dinner: at least 750???

total today: gonna say 1750. good.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Duaa123. on 02/14/2016:
Very good total calories for your day.. I am so happy to listen about ur sister , I hope she be happy forever.. For this valentine's day, ooh my heart is broken today because today in the morning I sent to my fiance a massage (you will be my love forever ,happy valentine's day) then he sent to me (and do you belive with that!! I love you everyday in hole the year and will always love , This day for non Muslim and you are Muslim !! ).. I shocked although he was kind but I felt SADLY ..

Hope you enjoy in facial. .


OhioRaven on 02/14/2016:
Happy Valentine's Day, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Thank you OR... Happy Valentine'S Day to you :)


puddles on 02/14/2016:
Glad to hear you got your rest and Happy valentine's day.


biscottibody59 on 02/14/2016:
Hi HoP!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/15/2016:
Helloooooooooo BB!



horn_of_plenty - Friday Feb 12, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

Super Saturday: 1700 cals. SUCCESS. When you want something bad enough, nothing can stop you from achieving it...

No exercise beyond doing a few errands. on Saturday. Rest day.

7:30pm Evening edit:

Got a lot done today. Around noon, I finally left my apt. I got gas, picked up books & movies at the library, went to Rite Aid drugstore and restocked on everything I will be needing for awhile, refilled a prescription, did some food shopping at a health food store (picked up more cooked food/veggies than normal bc of the cold and bc I will be home quite a bit this weekend & want to reach for healthy items!), tried a new kombucha there that was being sampled off by the maker who came into Queens for the day from Vermont & bought some bottles because it was good...and now finishing up some laundry since the room was empty and now i'll have little laundry to do Monday. & an easier time next weekend (which will be busier because of my sister's bridal shower!).

At home though, I came back around 3pm, I haven't been very productive. I think my body just wants to relax.  Getting over being sick & all.  I still need to do a little more food shopping, probably tomorrow I will go again, not Monday. Need the basics now like eggs & chicken...and some fruit and maybe yogurt. Basic things that I do not usually buy at the health food store because the prices are higher there so I go to the regular supermarket...

I want to finish the romance novel that i'm in the middle of reading for a couple weeks now (I keep putting it off bc it's not really that good, but not so bad so I want to still finish it.) The book is titled "Full Blast" by Janet Evanovich but I don't recommend it because it really is far from the best book I have read. I am disappointed by it as usually I find things that are better written! But still, I want to finish the story :)

11:00am Morning Entry:

May not leave my apartment. But if I do, it's only to buy some veggies and seltzer oh...and stop to pick up my requested books at library and drop a shirt at the dry cleaners! lol (maybe i will not do all of those things, we'll see - i can easily just stay home but I want the books...) gonna do my laundry later...and relax. I have a book here to finish for now. I'd like to pick up the books from the library I requested. They are fictional novels and not from my favorite "romantic" genre, but they do have romance in them. They are good books, NY Times bestselling author. They have more substance than romance novels. That's why I want to continue reading them...

9am Breakfast: kombucha 70

10:30am big oatmeal with some pumpkin seeds 160, almond milk 20, 3/4 cup egg whites 90, 2 tablespoons whipped peanut butter 160, stevia: 430, tasty.

total so far: 500, good!

Snacking 12:30-2pm: coffee, bar 200

3pm meal: turkey patty 250, salad with dressing 100, cooked Chinese cabbage 50?.  400, good. and gonna take 2 omega pills. 420.

4:30 also beans, fruit

5:30pm: another protein bar 130, cooked cabbage 50-70

8pm: small package beef jerky 110, couple fish oil pills 20, rest of the steamed cabbage 50. 200.

total today: 1700....beyond successful - just excellent for a day mostly spent at home. even did most of my laundry last night finishing around 8:30pm. nice.

_____________________________________________________

7:30: still nothing more than I had before, lots of seltzer. another day down, eating just fine. it's all about being prepared...having the food available to make good choices. lately, I do not buy chips anymore which is the reason I haven't been eating them. I guess I do NOT need them as much as I thought I did. having extra fat tends to help with feeling satisfied. I do this a lot by eating half a small or medium avocado with my lunches...perhaps I am learning more about the lower carb lifestyle...

 

Plan for today's calories: pick up veggies, yes, so I can eat & be full...and relax home...will pick up extra so I have a lot for the whole weekend I am thinking. and calories for today: plan is to keep them around 1600-1800.

__________________________________________________

Friendly Friday:

Average 7-day calories are fantastic:  1593 daily average!!! oh yes! Haven't done a weekly average this low like this probably in years! This is dedication. This is sticking to my goal.  This is what a person does when they want something and have faith in themselves to reach it.  This is what proves I will reach my goals & be true to myself. This is great.  I cannot be prouder of myself for making the right decisions.

1600 cals / day...well, on at least the 3 days that I exercise I could estimate I am at least burning 2,000 cal. and I am sure I burn over 1600 per day on rest days. maybe around 1800 on rest days? so, I'd estimate I burn a total of 1200 cals on my 3 exercise days and at least 800 cals on my rest days...so, total is AT LEAST (if hopefully more!) 2,000 cals burned this week. That's over a half pound in terms of weight. GREAT weightloss this week...at least half a pound I think.! Even if scale doesn't show it right away, I know it's happening!

The way I am lowering calories is pretty simple - eating breakfast later in the morning at work instead of having it at 8am I just stick with coffee & milk. Then, around 10, I eat breakfast instead of having my snack. I am able to save around 200 calories by doing this at work by having no snack and breakfast at snacktime. And by having a nice breakfast later in morning, I feel that lunch is always satisfying and right on time. It works very well...I like this. I feel healthier this way, actually, then eating right when I get to work is simply not the best!!! It's too rushed right after the drive to work anyways to eat right away...better to do it later in moring. And this process really works in weight management.

6am: Aminos & Kombucha 100

9am: coffee with milk 50, half bagel with substantial amount cream cheese 300 at most I think?
450..ohhh, and some melon 50 cal more.
 
If snack needed before lunch around 11am or so: Quest chocolate protein bar 200.
 
Total before lunch: 700 (otherwise, 450). Good…enjoyed the taste of a half a sesame bagel with cream cheese but I admit – it’s not filling or anything. Honestly, what a waste….i don’t miss it really and to have the other half…why? just to spike my blood sugar more? I honestly feel so good to just have half and throw the rest away in the women’s bathroom garbage can. Sorry, I know, I’m really writing a lot about such an insignificant topic. But that’s the mind of someone who thinks about food a lot, right?, and hasn’t had a bagel in who knows when.
 
Lunch: half avocado 150, heavily oiled sautéed onion and peppers 250 that I ordered from a deli since friend was ordering food at work and i wanted to try them...sooo good!!! i will def order again!, sardines 180, lots of veggies: radish type cooked, cooked mushrooms, and cooked kale 100 approx: 550 cal or so is my guess. healthy & satisfying!
 
lately, as long as I have adequate fat with my lunch, I am satisfied and don't want to reach for carbs. something is changing with my appetite and digestion & it's for the better!!!!! I actually am not as interested in having high carbs anymore unless is more around my workouts or in the morning....something is actually changing within my body!!! Really, I am conquering my fears and becoming healthier in learning what my body requires to look and feel good...i'm not there yet, but I have reached a new level I think.
 
4:30pm snack: large navel orange 100 :) healthy. and water.
 
5:30pm-7pm: on and off sipping it, while getting my hair done (1.5hr process at salon)... decaf coffee 50. (wanting something warm and satisfying while waiting & getting the hair process done)...lots of waiting and sitting at salon...so I got the decaf coffee as I was to relax myself...it actually bloated me a little after the orange...but was what I needed to get rid of my hunger.
 
Close to 8pm Light dinner, smart dinner: seltzer and a white chocolate protein cookie. perfect. 360. GOOD. Balance of fat, carbs and proteins that helps me sleep.
 
Total cals Friday: Approx. 1760...EXCELLENT. Very proud of myself this week. It was absolutely fantastic on my part. I am sticking with my goals. And the rewards of doing this will certainly follow.  I am learning to be more moderate. This is going to help me for life!!!
 
Exercise: not much, just a stroll around my building (stroll around 1 block in a circle) at 3pm since I couldn't sit anymore at my desk. And then also a very short walk from car parking spot (2 blocks or so away) to hair salon and back. Better than no exercise at all though. Gonna rest up this weekend and relax. Not gonna push any cardio. and will do a nice weights workout Sunday... :)
 
Protein cookie is small but definitely large enough to be satisfying...it's actually two servings and has a nice amount of healthy fiber ( I think 3-4g per serving so total of around 6-8g fiber which is good when I drink the selzter with it...fills me up) It's Better than a big meal of vegetables and stuff because it was already around 8pm and I was planning on sleeping early. and then I did take Nyquil and was able to sleep a bit better, but still waking up a little to use bathroom and also coughing. Feeling much better though and looking towards a good week next week as well! Sister's bridal shower is NEXT weekend! yay!!
 
Spoke to my favorite guy on the phone last night around 8pm.  He was headed out in the car with his guy best friend. and I was on speaker phone. First 15 min or so convo was excellent, but then last 5 minutes when he had to call me back...I was getting tired...and asking slightly personal questions which was totally ok and not weird really, but I knew I should hang up soon, so I did...glad I was able to talk to my man even if on speaker phone with his best friend around. Glad I am more in his life these days...we have a long ways to go, but this is a good start.
____________________________________________________________
 
We had bagels for breakfast this Friday and that has been the highlight of the day / morning.
I am really exhausted. Wanting to reach out to my “man” but know I can’t because I just did last night. If he doesn’t wish me a Happy Valetine’s on Sunday I’m going to be upset. He and I are very honest with each other and there’s no reason to play games because of holidays. We text everyday & keep each other updated with what we are each up to. There’s no reason to stop communicating because it’s Valentine’s Day & we aren’t in any “official” relationship. 
 
Lately, everything with him is all peaches. He’s slowly but surely opening up more & more with me. Still, I am way more open than him. He is trying & at least he’s working on it. I am pushing him a little bit. He doesn’t seem to mind. It’s moving forward. He seems to have my back. He seems to not want to hurt me emotionally again. I trust him to make good decisions & to continue open up and communicate better with me…
 
I am very exhausted today. I haven’t been sleeping great bc I am waking up often with a dry cough. This weekend, my goal is to get a lot of sleep, rest, read, relax. My dad called me & asked if I wanted to come over my parent’s house on the weekend. I declined the offer because I have been seeing them most weekends for the past couple months now. I need a lot of alone time, time to do errands, time to relax, gym, and other personal things like getting my hair done. I must relax this weekend. I am putting emphasis on relaxing. It’s the only 3-day weekend until I take days off before sister’s wedding 4/2/16. It’s a lot of time. I may take one more day in March so that I have another 3-day weekend, I think. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first & care about your own health. Because nobody else at work or in the world is going to care for you better than you care for yourself. And in my attempts to become healthier and be able to move from this job to the police academy, I’ll take days here & there when I need to.

 

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 02/12/2016:
I know what you mean...after not having had bread for about a week, and having lost 4 pounds in a week, I decided it was time for a 'TREAT' this morning and allowed myself to have one plain piece of dry regular toast (what a joy it was, too!) :-D Have a good day!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Sometimes, it helps for me to have a little of something like toast after I am already full and eaten a lot of vegetables...then, I am satisfied and just eating it for the taste.


grannyannie on 02/12/2016:
Love bread!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Me too. in general, i'm like an addict when it comes to breads and sweets.

Lately, I just think they affect me too much (blood sugars & insulin & increased sugar spike and cravings later...) & that's why I hardly eat them.


puddles on 02/12/2016:
Hard to put good food in the garbage but congrats on doing it. Have a great day.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Agreed. What helps is that I didn't buy it and bagels are so cheap!


liza36 on 02/12/2016:
Enjoy your relaxing weekend!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
TY :)


Donkey on 02/13/2016:
I've been using your breakfast/snack approach lately, and I think it's helped, too!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Yes, this has been a huge calorie buster for me! works so well, but I think needing to make slight changes so I don't get bored of what i'm eating...going to have to bring something besides oatmeal soon!


cybermom4 on 02/14/2016:
Happy Valentine's Day HOP!!! I hope all works out with your friend :-)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Thanks Mom. all is well with him for now...we've already texted on Valentine's but of course not typical and neither of us wished each other a happy valentine's day..

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
hopefully later on phone.



horn_of_plenty - Thursday Feb 11, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

1566 6-day average. Well, if I continue to do this well, I will lose the weight surely. Extremely proud of myself this week.

Thrilling Thursday!

Billionaire owner of my company from CA is here in NY at our company today. I dressed up & wore makeup. Did my hair perfectly. Wish that I didn’t have the ONE HUGE UGLY pimple that is crusting over. I covered it with makeup but it still looks ugly. At least the rest of me….looks pretty perfect. J
 
Billionaire hardly ever comes here, so, I know I had to dress up. I actually thought he was coming yesterday, so I tried to dress up yesterday too lol, so now I had my second shot. I am wearing almost the same outfit but instead of a pink turtleneck, it’s a gray one. More professional today & it stands out less.
 
5:45am: 4 cups Kombucha 130, and coffee 70. 200.
10am: will be banana and a Quest bar microwaved 330 or so
1pm Lunch: Sardines maybe the whole package not sure 180, veggie 100s, ½ small avocado 150, around 450.
 
Total so far:  980, excellent.
 
4:45pm Snack before gym: high carbs – orange, sunflower chocolate bar and caffeine 250
 
7:30 / 8pm After gym: recovery aminos and some kind of different energy bar that I haven’tried yet that I’ll get from 7-11…sick of all the ones I have tried already for now. and an extra Valentine's chocolate from someone at work :) 350.
 
Total today: 1580. wow. just doing so well this week. This whole month is so short and everything....I am just so happy to be feeling better & working out on the regular. Also, my guy situation lately is good...so...yeah.
 
 

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Maria7 on 02/11/2016:
Occasionally, I break out if I eat chocolate and nuts together...I'd rather do without the nuts and eat plain chocolate, which doesn't seem to bother me. Hope you have a good day, HOP. :-)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/11/2016:
wow, you'd think it was chocolate and not the nuts! funny.


Duaa123. on 02/11/2016:
Have a great day

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/11/2016:
You too :)


OhioRaven on 02/11/2016:
I've seen your picture. It would take a lot more than a pimple to make you look bad. Have a great day, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/11/2016:
Thank you for boosting my confidence this afternoon :)


innerpeace on 02/11/2016:
It probably doesn't look as bad as you say! My face breaks out regularly, I too old for this!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/11/2016:
same, it breaks out on the regular for me too. but I know part of the reasons why: stress, lack of sleep, too much caffeine.


grannyannie on 02/12/2016:
You're doing well! Nobody would notice a pimple!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/14/2016:
Thank you Annie :-) kind words always.



horn_of_plenty - Wednesday Feb 10, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

I work in a large office dominated more by males than females. They are noticing how strong my back is.  I get quick glances from some of them when they walk by!! hehehe. loving it.
 
1563 5-day average!
 
Doing exceedingly well this week after the long weekend. Taking care of myself. Eating healthy. Looking forward to another good day at work tomorrow, gym after, & moving thru Friday & getting my hair done after work! all good things. Saturday will be restful, at home, laundry...and not too much more!
 
Wednesday Food & Drinks:
Kombucha and later coffee 120
Oatmeal made with a mixed grains package, almond milk, 1 banana, and extra peanut butter 120.
Total before lunch: 540
Lunch: tofu 150, half small avocado 150, lots of cooked veggies 250? Total here: 550. Excellent.
 
Dinner: 2 eggs 150 & a ton of bok choy 150? & 2 fish oil pills 20 since I didn't have a ton of fat in this meal ...around 350.
 
total today: 1450. tired, ready for bed :) calories are nice & low how I want them!  Helps to just have a late breakfast at work! Works very nicely.
exercise: 20 min stroll after work since I was sitting all day.  good for blood flow! ankle not even bothering me now. it was a little weak during the walk but nothing major. honestly, I am happy.
 
 
It’s Wednesday & I’m still sick but feeling positive. I am so glad I am back on my positive outlook. I have a really bad pimple, huge, that I tried to cover up but still looks so bad…oh well. At least I feel happy with life!! Even my typical guy drama has me actually happy about the spin of the drama rather than anxious or frustrated over it (same guy as usual, the over 2-year person that is very wishy washy but I cannot blame him since I can’t change him or make up his mind for him!)
 
Everyone tells me to forget about him, but I just can’t. Honestly, I am being patient this time. I will wait for him to actually contact me back since I was the one who last did the contacting. 
 
I realize I have time since I am not interested in actually getting together with him till after the winter as my time is full of commitments right now anyways. Truth is, I would have been free Sunday (Valentine’s) to get together with him because I have Monday off for President’s Day.
 
But obviously he would not be happy about getting together Valentine’s. He knows I have a question to ask him, not about getting together, no, but I think he’s anxious even to call me back bc he probably thinks I want to get together then!
 
Lol…If I wasn’t sick, I may have tried harder to see him. But, then again, I don’t really care about getting together with folks right now as my eyes are laser-vision set on my fitness, losing this cold / virus, and weight loss. Especially these two weeks I am more determined because my sister’s bridal shower in February 20th right around the corner. Also I am very determined because this month I am closer to the wedding than I was last month. I am refocusing & in general being more strategic. I am learning what works & doesn’t in order to reach 115 lbs.
 
My weight is still steady around 118. It’s a bit of a plateau, but also it’s because calories aren’t being lowered enough. I’ve done a good job so far this week though. Definitely a nice dent in calories this week compared to the previous ones. I am on a roll. I know what I need to do. The motivation & determination are there. I’m exercising even though I am not feeling my best, but also watching & taking the steps to make sure I don’t get worse. I’m doing what I have to do. Being independent & single is helping me right now. 
 
It’s easier to reach difficult goals like this weight loss one when less things are preventing me from reaching it. Relationships and anything outside my personal realm will act as a preventer in this situation. Of course, I am still reaching out & contacting my friends, yes, but actually seeing them I am not. I have been seeing family most weekends for now.
 
My family & I have had to do a lot of work in preparations and shopping leading up to the wedding. This coming weekend, 3-day, I’m looking forward to relaxation at home. I think I’ll fully get over being sick by taking it easy. I am also getting my hair cut & keratin treatment Friday night after work. Massage on Monday for the day off. Gym Sunday. It’s enough…I plan to call my best friend & chat with her on the phone this weekend. But I’m keeping this weekend to relax by myself at home. It’ll be the last of long weekends for awhile.
 
At this moment, my eyes are on the prize and no man, person, or thing is going to prevent me from reaching my goals. Ever.  I can be very strong-headed, independent & motivated when I want something badly enough. And this is that time. But I am human, and I still want to reach out to the ones that support me. And this man is one of those people. He’s always supported me. This is another reason why I adore him.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

innerpeace on 02/10/2016:
Great job! I hope you feel better soon.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/11/2016:
Starting to feel better for sure. Just want to rid myself of the dry cough that sometimes happens at work and in middle of the night. But i'm lucky. I was able to rest last week on Friday by staying home. It helped me a lot...

...and trying to get extra sleep is helping too.


grannyannie on 02/10/2016:
I won't say it's only 3 more pounds as I know exactly how you feel! You're not gaining and that's good. Relax!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/11/2016:
Yes, so true Annie. I am very happy about the maintenance part. It's showing me that I really was eating a lot before, compared to now in terms of calories. It's a big difference how much LESS i have to eat in order to weigh even 5 lbs less. Major difference. It's been a challenge but i'm starting to get used to it.


grannyannie on 02/11/2016:
Just 200 or 300 calories can make a big difference. It can be so frustrating at times.



horn_of_plenty - Tuesday Feb 09, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

Wednesday Morning Edit:

My life mantra is this: "You can accomplish anything you desire as long as you desire it strongly enough."  I will never change my opinion or beliefs regarding that statement. Trust yourself, put faith in yourself, and you will achieve your dreams.

(Still sick with mostly dry cough but getting better...working out so I may be slower my progress with the cold but I've only been sick for 1 week. Seems to take me usually around 2 weeks to get over things)

____________________________________________________

Terrific Tuesday !

6am: Kombucha 70
8am-10am: coffee with milk 60
10am: Oatmeal mix with almond milk, banana, peanut butter: 400
 
Total before lunch:  530 cal.
 
Lunch: half small avocado 150, cooked greens 100 at least, tempeh mix with tomato / tomato sauce (mock meat sauce for pasta that I bought last week and will not eat after today since I’m nervous to get myself sick off it, but it was good…) 200. Total here:  450-500 depending.
 
Total before end of workday: 1030 ! very good.
 
This week I am sticking with my goals very nicely. Feeling happy with myself. I am “adulting” well  (acting maturely & managing my weight loss goals well)…
 
 

Y Before gym: around 300 with caffeine big apple and small granola bar After gym: carb filled protein cookie 360 1690 at most. Quite excellent. Going to make this week a strong one with calories in gym. I am already over halfway there. Wednesday is day #5 of my average. Wow. Did good. 1592 4-day average. Very very good.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

OhioRaven on 02/09/2016:
Don't get all "Adult" on us too fast. Believe me. I've been there. Its No Fun. Have a great day, HP.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/10/2016:
Yes, you're right OR.


grannyannie on 02/09/2016:
Well done, but I agree with OR. Being a grownup isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/10/2016:
So right he is !!



horn_of_plenty - Monday Feb 08, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

Tuesday Morning Edit:

Lately, i'm taking sleeping pills on the regular. I'm taking the strong ones (Sleepinal) relatively early in the night so that I don't wake up drowsy. It's working very well. I'm getting more sleep. I'm going to probably continue this process for most of this week maybe. It's helping me feel better. I take the pill as early as 7:30pm or latest 8pm. I get tired now later on, like an hour or so later. And it helps me sleep in till after 5am. It's more sleep, needed sleep. I am feeling good this morning because of the good sleep. 

_________________________________________________

4:10pm on Mindfull Monday
Hi Everyone. Today is a good day back at work. My boss has been so very understanding. I am so lucky on this account that he likes me around so much! He gave me steady work & the time passed very quickly today.
 
Healthy eating today so far until the end of the workday:
 
6am: Kombucha 70
8am-10:00am: coffee 50
10am: oatmeal made with nuts and peanut butter and a banana 400
1:10pm Lunch: cooked kale 100 a sorta old mix of tempeh and tomato sauce / tomato that I bought last weekend that I will throw out after tomorrow lol 200 , and ½ avocado 160 460.
 
5pm: On drive home: orange 100

6:30pm: Dinner: first some Cooked veggies 100, then a protein pancake made with lil bit squash 40, oats 40, chocolate protein powder 90, 1 egg and 1 egg white 100, stevia, peanut butter and jelly on top 100 470. Total 1570, good!

1560 3-day average. I am doing extremely well. I realize I need the lower calories to lower my weight a little bit more. It's never been so clear to me (what I need to do to reach my goal) as it is now. I have tunnel vision to look a certain way at this wedding. I am so happy & proud of myself.

But also, I can feel my heart race as I right how proud of myself I am....I have to remember that i'm not anxious but excited. That I am proud, fully capable & that I should never, EVER, think my goals are out of my reach or that i'm not deserving of them. I can do this.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

Awesome50 on 02/08/2016:
Glad to read you are feeling better! Sounds like you were successful shopping for dresses as well. Wonderful!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/09/2016:
yes. I am SO HAPPY that I have the dresses & everything is much more under control now! It's always a good feeling when you know you have accomplished something important to get done!


grannyannie on 02/08/2016:
Good eats! Well done. Have a great week.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/09/2016:
Thanks Annie :) Wishing you a wonderful week as well :)


cybermom4 on 02/09/2016:
Love how you always remind me to count calories. I skipped about a week and need to get back on track. Tuesday Feb 9 a new day!! :-)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/09/2016:
Yes, today is a new day :) It's actually my coworker's bday! yay.

Counting calories is the best way for me to be successful. It never disappoints. I can rely on counting to prove why or why not I am losing weight. :) happy to remind you. have a wonderful day Mom!


cybermom4 on 02/09/2016:
I never thought about that - I feel like I really have to reprogram my brain. I was doing real well with counting calories but I didn't 'own it' like you do. I know I am just starting out - and I have adopted your advice along the way and I have a new appreciation of veggies :-) and now calorie counting. I guess it is one little step at a time. And I must skip the scale as a guide and trust the little program we are building here. Have you ever done weight watchers or any other program that helped? You have so much experience.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/10/2016:
i'll write more to you when I have a little time to put all my thoughts down on here...

...needing to get ready this AM for work so now is not the time but I def wanted to acknowledge that I saw your comments!


Maria7 on 02/09/2016:
Yes, you can! :-D

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/09/2016:
thank you Lady M!



horn_of_plenty - Sunday Feb 07, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

2-day avg total: 1555. EXCELLENT, REALLY.

On facebook today, one of the fitness models wrote "You can achieve anything you want if you want it bad enough." Well, that's my motto. I am beginning to feel MUCH better. Still a bit congested but the sore throat is going away. I will definitely reach my weight goals for the wedding, because I know I can do it. I know what I am capable of. And this is within that range.

Go me!  So glad to feel better & less stressed right now. Feeling so much better than I did last week when I went home sick Thursday. I needed a day off & taking one was the best decision in the world. I feel so much better. If I need to take one more day in early March, I will.

Proud of myself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In February, I'd like to make a dent in the scale & my weight. I want to lose around 2 lbs, getting me very close to 115. I'd like to see the scale start to say 117/116.

Hi All.

It's 2pm Sunday. All errands and laundry as been completed this weekend. Yesterday, I spent SIX hours in one huge clothing store with my mom. I found a dress for my sister's bridal shower as well as one for the rehearsal dinner the night before her wedding.

We also had a late lunch there at the store as well as bought some other things. I ended up opening a credit card with the store so that we could save an extra 15% on top of the 25% we received by using the Lord & Taylor card that day since there was already the 25% off sale for cardholders on most items in the store.

Also, my dresses were buy 1, get 1 50% off! Good deals. My mom treated herself to REALLY nice diamond earrings marked down to $388 from $1,500 because of additional deals and using my card. My mom will reimburse me for a lot of the items we got yesterday (including my dresses). I wish I could afford more for myself. I'm lucky my mom is helping me out so much!

I slept over my parents last night.  In the morning, I slept in a bit since I couldn't sleep all night & ended up reaching for a light sleeping pill around 5:30am and slept till around 9am.

Came home around noon and picked up some food for the week. I will not need to buy any food this week besides a rotisserie chicken.

Prepared for this week.

Still sick, but going to the gym for a workout soon.

9:30am: kombucha 60, later a chocolate 40. 100.

12:30pm: Miso soup with tofu maybe like 200?, cooked veggies & light sauce maybe like 200? 400

2:30pm-3pm before gym around 3:30pm: Large Navel Orange 100, Quest S'mores bar 200. and later energy drink and banana 120

total so far: 920 - I need to work on keeping calories lower...my weight is not going down at all because i'm not lowering my calories enough.

After gym: wanted something without volume. Not in mood for any veggies at all. Or anything really. More in the mood for fast carbs and protein so I had this "Peanut butter protein cookie." It's pretty high calorie but not really if you think of it as a meal. 420. and then I also had aminos in water with stevia bc they taste HORRIBLE. 20. total here 440.

total today: 1360, i'd like to keep it at this amount and go to bed early tonight. I will probably take a sleeping pill on the early side so I can continue to get some extra rest to get rid of the remaining congestion and sore throat.

I am beginning to have more energy again and not feel weak like I was. After the gym, I am surprisingly feeling BETTER. It was the right decision.

 

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

grannyannie on 02/08/2016:
Well done. Feel better soon! Good calories.



horn_of_plenty - Saturday Feb 06, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

Morning :)

Extra sleep due to a much needed sleeping pill. I may take it a little often thru this weekend. Needing the extra rest right now.

7:30am: kombucha 80

9:45am Breakfast: oatmeal with coconut flakes and coconut water 190, 1/2 cup egg whites for added protein 60, peanut butter 120 & stevia. total 370 :)

total so far: 450.

Noon Granola bar 150

3pm Toasted roll with hair butter 200 at most, salad with some dressing 150-200, lots of roasted veggies 150 550 at most. While out shopping with mom.

Big, healthy dinner: 3/4 small avocado 300 at most, chicken prob 200 at most I hope, and salad with some vinegar and few olives and 3 shrimp 100 at least ... Total 600 maybe more.

1750 and walking around shopping all day. Fine :) maybe 1800. Still fine because today I ate healthy everything!!!

going home to go shopping with mom. bringing my laundry and also some food so I have more vegetables and don't have to worry about if my parents do.

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

collegestudent on 02/06/2016:
Hi! I'm new to diatdiaries and really excited to be in the community:)

I have a question: when you eat oatmeal for braekfast do you get hungry/carb craving later? Usually I find myself hungry soon after oatmeal, or not hungry but just craving carbs in general...

Thanks!!!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/07/2016:
Actually, yes, I fully agree with you and usually YES oatmeal will just spark hunger like an hour or two after I eat it.

That's why I never eat it usually early in the morning. If I have it, I'll have it once at work or for late morning meal. BUT, I don't have plain oatmeal. Lately, the types I have include some nuts and unsweetened almond milk along with a tablespoon of peanut butter. For me, there MUST be fat in with the oatmeal (like nuts or nut butter or even butter) along with a little protein for me to be satisfied for like 3 hours after eating.

yes, I cannot eat just carbs and feel satisfied. it does get me hungry. But once in awhile, I want more carbs, especially a morning after working out, so i'll bring the oatmeal to work and maybe try to have it later in the morning so that when I do get hungry, it's lunchtime. :)


grannyannie on 02/07/2016:
Well done, HOP!

College, I eat porridge/oatmeal every morning and I find it keeps me fuller for longer than anything else.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/07/2016:
thanks Annie! You are so good with your porridge...I always have to add things to it, in order for it to fully satisfy me!



horn_of_plenty - Friday Feb 05, 2016
(counting calories/walking/elliptical/weights/bike)
Weight: 118.0

9:30am: kombucha 110 like 3.5 servings

10:30am oatmeal made with coconut water 190, egg whites 60, peanut butter 100, and dried fruit 80, stevia. total here: 430, good.

12pm: chips 120, cabbage 80, lots of sautéed snow pea leaves with garlic 250 450 whoa.

Lunch and snacking: big orange 120, salad with a little dressing and chicken and olives 450. 570.

Actually a 10 min walk to put money on laundry card but relaxing on couch throughout the day all day. Office is only open weekdays while i'm at work and I needed to fill the card.

4:30pm protein bar 180

Bean chips, 1 1/2 servings. 170 cal.

1920 cal. - not sure what I will have later but it's a higher-calorie day. taking a break for now on calories. I would have liked my calorie average to stay within the 1700's but I just cannot deal with keeping low calories today.

Total today is 2040. 1827/day 7-day average. Decent. proud of myself for not eating more than necessary :)

____________________________________

Run down, sick, staying home today.

Had to skip a workout last night & was thinking to make it up today. But based on how I am feeling, I doubt I will get to the gym this afternoon. But, if I do feel better, i'll go. Partially the reason I feel so tired right now is from a sleeping pill that I took around 5:30am. It's a light kind of pill that only helps me get around 3 more hours of sleep which was very nice.  I am run down because I wasn't sleeping well for at least 2 weeks including not sleeping right even on the weekends.

I had no more days left, so I will NOT be paid for taking today off. I am so GLAD I am not at work. Believe me, I will NOT be missing this money. With tax season around the corner, I plan not to have to use ANY of my savings for any payments that I may need to make (need to have car light components repaired on Saturday and it will cost around $400 including service! around $250 for the parts & 150 SERVICE! crazy!). but like I said, if I wind up going up a little too much in spending using my credit card, i'll use some of my tax return when I get it to pay it off. NOT WORRIED. yes, it would be nice not to have to spend the tax return, but also, if I have to - so be it!

I have savings, but i'd rather not touch that account as it's important I continue to save and not use it. so when I get the tax return, i'll use some of it if I need to. If I am able to pay off the credit card slowly, i'll just do that. I may not need to touch my tax return & just move it all towards savings.

Sorry to go on a $ rant. It's what goes on in my head which is stressful. It's another reason i'm looking to leave this industry and enter NYPD. Salary would be same at first if I were to enter NYPD, but, it goes up substantially each year. Where I am now, it'll never go up unless I had much more education & training in the field that I am not very knowlegable or interested in. That's why I am looking to leave so badly from this job I have now.

Any days I take off thru April 1 will also be for NO PAY. New days begin April 1. and to boot, without my permission, when I was very sick in October, my boss decided to use THREE of these new days that start in MAY 2016 to pay me then. so, i'm already 3 days down out of 10 vacation days for 2016 and 5 sick days. all which start in April.

Blech. Nauseating to talk about any more than I did.

 

Progress as of today: 8 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!

puddles on 02/05/2016:
Get some rest today.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/05/2016:
Thank you :)


grannyannie on 02/06/2016:
Hope you feel better. Rest up. Hope your weekend is good.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/07/2016:
:) Starting to feel better but having to let the bug I have run its course.


cybermom4 on 02/06/2016:
Sending you Well wishes!! Hoping the bug doesn't get you and that maybe some tea with honey will calm things down. I'm sorry about your sick day situation. I know that is tough. Companies can be very tough when figuring out what is fair. Sometimes the rules change all b/c 1 or 2 people abuse the system.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 02/07/2016:
It's not too bad a bug. But with such a busy weekend with my mom approaching (yesterday was very busy shopping for outfits for my sister's bridal shower & dinner the night before the wedding)...so, I was getting anxious throughout the week, feeling so run down...and then sick...and realizing I couldn't exercise. I was ready to do it on Friday but felt just so tired and weak.

So...I took the day off because I was just not feeling like myself. It was for being physically sick as well as feeling emotionally / mentally drained.

I do think that it's very difficult in the advanced world we live in today to care for your health and work...I just think life is too busy.



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