Early drink: kombucha 100
Morning at work: banana, tea, coffee, peanut butter & sf jelly on wheat bread (sticking with easy to digest carbs, very bloated in AM)
Lunch: kale, white rice, leftover sea bass
snack: sucking candy, tiny apple
Till end of workday, all healthy, higher on the carbs: 1200.
Dinner: was going to be low, ended up having 300 cal in chips. so, 600 cal for dinner, not healthy - it was a protein bar, some veggies, and chips. probably bc I binged yesterday, i can't keep the carbs too low bc i'm still coming off a big spike from yesterday. I feel good now though. ..
Exercise: I may walk for 10 minutes, but i'm thinking I may as well go to bed early tonight & just relax at home...maybe 10 minutes stairclimbing. i'm sorta cold, that should warm me up!
total cal today: decent, 1800.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
2600 total calories today.
Saturday & Sunday 2-day average: 2400/day = sh*tty. Moving on from it though. Hopefully my stomach will be ok tomorrow because I ate way too much this afternoon & i'm really, really full & bloated.
Seems it's been an emotional roller coaster (probably in a good way overall) since returning to work around 1 month ago. I've had very high ups and sorta very low lows. Working on this. Tomorrow I will go to my therapist & discuss everything with him after work...and also the dr to discuss medicine i'm on and if anything needs adjusting.
Any advice regarding my best friend in yesterday's entry is appreciated...
Calories thru morning: 700
12pm frozen yogurt 200
2:30-3:15pm Huge lunch: cooked artichokes (a ton) 350?, cooked spinach 150, cooked carrot/cauliflower/broccoli 100, roasted turkey 100?,chips 400 (pretty sure it was 3 servings, not 2.) and a really tasty coffee drink 120 (this meal = 1220 cals)
4:45pm: dried fruit 80
today was a binge from 2:30pm-3:15pm....it's ok, moving forward...I think the binge was caused mostly emotionally...but also had some caffeine in AM, maybe not enough carbs before workout..chips are my go-to it seems for carbs / fat. I'm ok with this increase in calories and I may not eat again till tomorrow morning.
6pm: bar 200, protein Quest chocolate brownie (eating only protein as I had a ton of carbs earlier & I was only eating so I wasn't fasting & wasn't intentionally starving myself - just to get thru the rest of the night...
7:50: same kind of bar - Quest chocolate brownie protein 200 (for purpose of being satisfied thru the night & that's it)
2600 total.
also in the AM, a weights / upper body workout at gym...it was sorta weak, lacking energy...maybe bc I haven't done a morning workout in a long time.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Overall 2200 cal and one hour walking.
Happy birthday to my mom! She's 62 today. My dad is at a conference in Hawaii (it's never in a great location like that...he got so lucky because usually the conventions are in places like Ohio or Michigan or Canada..without the lovely weather and beaches...haha) anyways, it's a work convention, but my mom went of course! After the week of the convention, they're staying there an extra week as a vacation. Duh! They deserve it. They both work hard and don't go away often. so, happy bday to my mom in Hawaii! I think they now have one more week there & then they come home next Friday or Saturday...right before Thanksgiving :-)
Excited about time off work for the Thanksgiving holiday in a couple weeks & time with my family. I am beginning to really enjoy seeing them when the holidays come...I used to be all uptight about the food and nervous about having to deal with all the richer foods, but now, I don't care as much. I am beginning to relax more...
8:30m Big breakfast: Oatbran with almond milk 150, 3/4 cup egg whites 90, small banana 100, peanut butter 150, stevia and cinnamon, kombucha 70, more kombucha. Total: 600, good.
close to noon, early lunch - chips 230, white potato w/ some curry 100?, asparagus 20, and white meat chicken, some skin, little sauce around 250. total: 600, good.
around 2:30pm: coffee drink 120
5pm: Fage 0% greek yogurt 100
total before dinner: 1420, decent. allowing myself up to 2200 today...and will get rice with dinner, not only veggies.
dinner out tonight...nervous about saving calories, but I shouldn't worry so much & just enjoy the time out...
Tonight i'm finally getting together with my coworker. Happy for this. I'll drive to her & then we are driving to a mall I haven't been to! It's another mall in Queens and they have Hibachi (like Japanese bbq where they cook in front of you). should be great. change of pace. Just the two of us girls and not my best friend or anyone else. Needed this change of pace, glad my coworker was available (her bf works nights on the weekends...so she is pretty available to go out even though she's in a 5year relationship with him..). I haven't had Hibachi in years...and excited for those veggies...lol...and more excited for time with her than with anyone else right now.
Need your advice:
My best friend last week when we met up in the city for the brunch made it difficult for me a tad bit in that I realize that it's not a good time or usually good ending when she does come out with my other friends. For some reason or another, it almost always ends badly at the end. Because she's in such a panic to leave / go home at the end, things get messy - every time. As I look back, it's been this way since she started coming out with this other group of friends of mine - for several years now. So, it gets messy as we're all leaving, and then i'm left with a sour ending of my whole time with my friends - and also i'm left with a negative perception of the ending of the night and also of my best friend. It makes me not want to contact her - to even speak to her on the phone or even hang out with her for awhile...
This time it was because she was going home on a different subway station & train from me. I know she was anxious about it. And it just turned bad when everyone was leaving. I told her she could always get a snack before her 40 min train ride (after the subway) back to Westchester. But, instead of answering anything normal back, in front of the whole group of folks (around 8), she answered "thanks, Mom, I can take care of myself, thank you..." It's unlike her to speak to me this way & it embarrassed me completely. I had no answer back.
I am sick of her embarrassing me. Sometimes, a friend will ask her something and she will actually just put it on me somehow - i'm just sick of her bouncing things off of me and putting me in a bad position because she's anxious about just about everything. I was only looking out for her, which she usually loves that I do because she practically asks me to - anyways, sick of her nonsense right now.
Been thinking about this on and off during the week. She is always getting stressed over the small stuff - like any different plans out of the normal or hanging out with my other friends and not just me. She takes offense to basically everything people say to her, taking it personally.
I decided that for now on, I just won't invite her to meet up anymore with me when I am meeting up with them too. Or, if they invite her, i'm not going to suggest she go because i'm going. I'm not going to push her to go because i'm going. I'll tell her it doesn't matter to me one bit - that it's her personal decision to go if she wants to & it's not going to affect anything with me.
I just don't need to deal with the extra stress of wanting her to have a good time, partially looking out for her at times, feeling anxious that she can get there ok (be able to meet me in the city at a subway platform or anything out of the normal from meeting me at my apartment which is what we usually do)...it's just not worth me getting stressed bc she decides to make everything stressful.
We all have different friends (more than 1 friend) for different reasons. so, knowing this, i'm not pushing my best friend ANYMORE to do ANYTHING with my other friends. Sucks, yes. But it saves me stress of worrying about her. I need to worry about myself first, not the health of my best friend. she's making my plans stressful. I'd rather just go out & meet them and not deal with her complaints / worries when i'm with them. I go out with them for a change of pace, not an extra stressor. I'm not mad - just realizing the facts.
Once again, i'm not angry at my best friend, just need a break from her behavior and her this entire week after the brunch in the city. when she bombards me with extra stressors, it makes me not want to deal with her for longer periods of time.
So, excited for a change of pace tonight with a fun coworker for dinner. And next weekend, I may meet up with my guy friend (different guy friend, usual guy friend that I do meet up with time to time for dinner).
Have a good day everyone!
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Have a great evening!
1835 cal per day past 7 days. Around 700 total calories lower than last week. That's a ton!
Success more than the last couple weeks. Proud of myself for sticking with this and aiming to really decrease my calories. I did great.
Today was a success for a Friday. (or rather for any day!) I did great.
Early: kombucha 70
Breakfast: banana, oatmeal with almond milk, fresh cinnamon, stevia, peanut butter 400
snacking: coffee with milk (skipped having a bar) 50 at most
Lunch: some squash 50, potato 50, greens 50, vegetarian chicken 100 at most (very small amount) ...feel like i'm skipping something, i'll add another 50 in to be safe..300? not sure...no wonder I was still hungry. then I had 1/2 cup of decaf coffee and boy did my stomach hurt after that..
Snack: small apple 80 at most
Big dinner: tons of sautéed vegetables with a bit of sauce- like at least 4 cups - 350, 5 shrimp 100?, chips 200 - wanted the carbs...good idea, but maybe should have had white rice instead of veggie chips lol. around 650
total: pretty great. can't complain - 1550 total calories, very good.
no exercise at all & I don't need it. just gonna relax tonight, bed early I think.
I am thinking if I can do around this amount a few times a week, i'm golden. I'll lose the weight.
I am actually not too concerned with getting to 115 before my sister's wedding.
It can definitely be done, without a doubt in my mind.
I am back to 120lbs.
5lbs is no big deal to lose, actually. My mind is clear & focused.
I am happy.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Early - 2 bottles kombucha...sorta still needing the extra probiotics 130...later tea at work
Breakfast: trying to have it late, stop with the snack for awhile...helps to keep calories low on working days in the AM...it works...as long as I can have ample tea...lol...its low caffeine, cocoa maya or something...
860 before end of workday...yeah...gym tonight.
380 before gym
170 after gym
proves I can do this weight loss thing, even while working :-D Seems I am getting a handle on lowering my calories so I can lose these 5-6 lbs. nice...may have a little more carbs though now...yeah, leftover squash soup
total around 1550
exercise: full weights
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
1950/day avg past 5 days
Breakfast - 7am I am going to start the day off with some oatbran 120, banana 120, almond milk 30, stevia, fresh cinnamon, peanut butter 100...and added a greek yogurt 120 for something even more filling. 490. tasty!
9:45am: herbal tea w. stevia (having things extra sweet lately....). Planning on a nice, relaxing day. No binging of course. just a nice, peaceful day off...turkey jerky. 160 & chips 200
Noon: lunch - chips 200, beans 100, squash 150, chocolate bar 150, dried fruit 100
total so far: 1550.
coffee with milk 100
Dinner: roasted veggies, lots of artichoke, few bites potato, warmed up chocolate quest bar 450-500
total: around 2150, good job to me!!
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Today my plan is to do any laundry that has built up since Saturday. DONE.
Then I also will pick up some food for the rest of the week. Those are my big plans haha. Just need some more veggies...and also kombucha :-D
I am getting a massage and facial at massage envy later today at 3:45pm bc I have a lot of monthly prepaids built up and now I can finally use a couple - excited for that. After that, dinner :-)
A little sick but not contagious and thinking that I will finally relax and enjoy the massage & facial. Last massage, I was very anxious (before I was sick in September) and for the first time in my life, I couldn't relax during the massage. I know this won't be an issue this time around!
Also do some reading. No exercise planned at all.
I do want low calories but yesterday was very low so I don't want to push today too or I think it will backfire.
Going to skip the kombucha today also.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
1900 cals per day avg past 4 days (since Saturday)
Pretty much exactly what I do:
Early: Sparkling Probiotic drinks (1.5 drinks) 20 cals.
Breakfast: oatmeal with almond milk, small banana 300, peanut butter 100.
450 at most Lunch: all healthy chicken 200 some rice 100, veggies 100 850
Snacks before gym 200, energy drink 1050...
Late dinner / snack: Quest Pumpkin Pie Bar (have a box at home) 220
1270. perfectly perfect. wonderfully wonderful!
WENT TO GYM, GREAT WORKOUT. had some energy drink & was highly angry after work - I was fueled well for my workout :-D
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Overall, I am feeling good despite being sick. Mentally / emotionally things are alright. things are still making me too angry which isn't good, at all - but i'm catching myself, working on it, gym was really good, gotta say.... good.
Weight is up by a pound or so.
I AM skipping the gym tonight - need my rest & to get fully better.
When I went to the dr after work (worked a half hour overtime which I regret not standing up for myself and leaving at 4:30pm). So went to the dr, waited around an hour for him. He gave me a prescription nasal spray and also told me to take Sudafed as well as an anti-inflammatory. I'm glad I went to the dr, a walk-in place that I usually go to when I need to see a doctor. It's a good place, in a good neighborhood. He said it's sinus related virus, but no infection. No strep. Got home on the late side, around 7pm. I was originally planning on an EARLY night. Overtime should not have been a factor.
So off to work I go. Leaving at 4:30 today. What I want to do is pick up more vegetables, come home, change, and go to the gym. I am not contagious - I've had this for over a week, almost 1.5 weeks. basically just a sore throat. Last week I also skipped the gym - on Tuesday.
ugh.!
So I ended the whole thing - finally - with my PT guy. He's not available to date. He's too free and single & would never change is life in any way. And basically, he must not be too into me. I tried - too hard. It must be miserable - a real breakup - when you are in a real, physical and emotional relationship. This was hard enough - and we weren't even dating yet.
I plan to not attach myself to unavailable men anymore. It's rough. and it hurts too much emotionally when the "relationship" ends. I've done this many times in my life. And now i'm moving on. Fully single, but fully open to dating the right person. A person who has time for me, who tells me he wants to see me & acts upon it. I'm ready.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Texting isn't (IMO) a great way to communicate on a personal level. Of course I still don't engage in it AT ALL, so I'm clearly biased--haha! I hate seeing people waste time and the health of their necks and thumbs on it.
Take care of yourself--this sounds like a healthy move for you:-)
I am sure he loved getting all my texts and that it made him feel really, really good.
He never gave me that kind of feeling back, but still gave me something to feel eager to continue.
What a waste. But honestly, I've learned a lot. I don't want to do this to myself again. I am done with even sleeping around...sorry...not that I've done that in a very long time, and very infrequent.
I don't think i'll get enjoyment anymore from half-relationships and lack of folks being fully honest.
Not a fabulous experience, but I think I needed it.
Just ready to stop thinking about it & forget.
Def still have a cold / sore throat. Now nose is running...
picked up 2 individual packet servings of dayquill from local deli before work...after work need to go to doctor to make sure I don't have strep or anything else..
Early: kombucha 70
Breakfast: oatmeal with almond milk 180 & banana 120 (300) and sunflower seeds 1/4 cup 160. 460. and stevia.
snack: a bar and tea i think. 200
and coffee with milk.
800.
lunch: lots of cooked kale with some Spanish rice 250, some tofu-chicken around 200 at most. 440.
total - 1250.....good...
snack: apple 100
1350...
dinner: an omelette would be good because it's light...egg 100, toast with avocado 320, some salas with a little dressing 100: 520
1870, good.
no exercise planned & early to bed...
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
7am: Kombucha and an airborne in water with stevia 70
8am Breakfast: oatbran with almond milk 150, tons of fresh ground cinnamon, banana 120, sprinkle of sunflower seeds 20, peanut butter 100: 390, excellent.
Total so far: 480 - fantastic.
Looking forward to brunch with friends - I am sure there will be some healthy things there, i'll prob also have some coffee.
Jolly ranchers 70 550... Brunch: salmon 400?, potatoes 250 at most, buttered broccoli 150, cauliflower 50, and ....I keep 850...forgetting the name...corned beef 350-400? So around 1250... 1800...maybe just a bar and veggies, we shall see for dinner. On bus from subway heading home :)
dinner: around 500 at most?
2200-2300. indulgent weekend!
exercise: some walking in city, nothing major. maybe 3 miles, tops.
avg cals sat/sun are 2225 per day.
My plan is good eating Monday.
Gym day after work Tuesday.
Wednesday cut calories that day.
Thursday gym day
Friday good eating.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Sunday morning early recap about how I feel about my Saturday Success :-D.
My weekends are improving, i'm starting to feel better and let myself be successful overall more often. Not derailing on weekends anymore it seems. I'm proud of these accomplishments. No binging and just being more prepared for when I do feel the need to eat a bigger portion, having veggies on hand...
It's been a successful weekend. And i'm excited to make today a big success. I'll be trying a new route to the city. Different trains and a different stops than i'm used to. I want it to work out...Not get lost or get off at wrong stops! I planned it. Went over it several times. Printed out the directions! I could have just written them as a note in my phone...but...free printing at work and easy to read on paper.
It's a new route for me, so i'm a tad nervous but actually excited about the change of pace. This is what makes us grow and advance...what makes us stronger...what makes us adults - what makes us human...change is good, growth is good....good for the body & soul!
Even though I live in Queens, I don't go to NYC (Manhattan) often. You know - my life is in Queens lol! Only to meet friends who usually live there & that's why I go. Sometimes for other activities. But that's why this is good that i'm going today - i'm enjoying the journey & doing more active, different, things with friends. Today is looking to be great...and it's sunny out too!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Saturday Eats:
7am early Kombucha drink 70 :-D
9am bigger breakfast: oatmeal 150 w/ egg whites 20, stevia, tons of fresh ground cinnamon (it's called Cinnamon Mill if you look it up on Amazon) & almond milk 30 (200), banana 120, peanut butter 100, and a pumpkin pie flavored Siggi's yogurt 130 (350). Very filling when the yogurt was added. Needed something extra this AM. Feeling good!
11:30am: dark chocolate with almonds bar 140 (thought i'd wait till 1pm for lunch...but not...)
12pm lunch: chips 200, extremely small apple 40, toast with butter 200, sardines 100. total: 540.
total: 1350, good. was gonna keep cals low, but right now I just need to eat healthy for today. glad I got some good carbs and protein in at lunch because i'll have a good workout later.
2:30- caffeine free energy supplement & an airborne 50.
3pm: dried fruit and nut bar 130 ...time for gym soon...around 4pm..
7:30pm dinner: it's big, but that's ok. lots of servings of leftover broccoli, cauliflower, and tons of kale. all of this around 150 at least. then, some rice 100?, and a cooked drumstick with most of the skin (200 or so). oh, and extra sautéed veggies around 100. total around 600. It was a lot of food.
big, late dinner. I did the RIGHT thing. Instead of a protein bar which I kept contemplating after the gym since it was late and that's a way to keep calories down, I actually ate a healthy dinner. I sometimes have to push myself extra to be healthier and make the better decision. for so long, I've always just cared about calories, and not about health. i'm trying to make better decisions for more than just one meal per day!
Total Calories are not super-high: around 2150.
No, not below 2,000. But still within range. I did do a great weights workout. Just wish my throat would get better faster. It's now been a week with a sore throat. It was getting better, but usually weights workouts and anything that I push a little bit slows down my healing progress when i'm on the verge of getting better. So, yeah. Making it work. Overall, I'm happy.
Exercise: Full upper body weights workout, back, abs.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Very happy about this weekend. Today is errands & relaxation. Tomorrow i'm going to the city all day for a friend's bday party brunch. the commute will take awhile because it's at the very bottom tip (South Street Seaport) of NYC. I'll leave my place before 10am or so & be back home probably around 6-7pm depending. So, today is a good day to get things done for the week to come. I have Wednesday off for Veteran's Day this coming week. So I don't feel stressed about having such a busy Sunday since it's not a full week this coming week!
I ordered new mesh delicates laundry bags from amazon as well as a new doormat. I am going to fill out the bday card for my friend & wrap her gift. My best friend & I are both giving her this gift jointly...it's cute. Got it also on amazon - it'a a 7-piece Disney Princess Collection of Christmas tree ornaments (7 ornaments of Disney Princesses!).
...Sounds dumb, I know, but the bday girl - who's turning 33 - LOVES Disney and she & her husband LOVE holiday Christmas tree ornaments. They even have a tree for Halloween, actually! And they decorate their apt in the city fully for many holidays, including Halloween & Valentines, Christmas, Chanukah, and others!. I know for a fact she's going to love this gift. It cost $40...but since my best friend & I are splitting it, i'd say it's a pretty good price - $20 each and we are getting separate cards. So, around $25 for her gift from me. Nothing too expensive or elaborate, just right & unique!
Plan for today:
Already finished up my laundry already at 9:45am...
...reading in morning, also web-surfing...and any other relaxing things - maybe some drawing
Not gym yet - I am thinking afternoon for gym
Get my nails done later after gym if I feel like it...because i'm going to a bday party tomorrow back in the city, again at the South Street Seaport area because that's where my friends live & where she planned her party :)
No real food shopping this weekend because I am off Wednesday so i'm not worried about groceries since I can get anything I am short of on Wednesday. I picked up extra food Friday night, so i'm good till Wednesday.
Was hungry last night, late dinner...and I didn't want a protein bar or anything I had at home. So I did go to the supermarket (it's less than a 5 minute drive from my apt - prob more like 2 minutes..more food lol...now i'm set till Wednesday FOR SURE.
I also picked up some oat bran and oatmeal at the food store since I was running low. The oatmeal was on sale which was great. also - peanut butter, some sautéed veggies, Spanish rice, a cooked chicken. now i'm fully stocked lol.
Progress as of today: 7 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
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Sounds like a nice normal kind of day for you. Now get the candy out of your mouth.
yes, it was a good day overall, OR :-D
grannyannie on 11/17/2015:
Good plans for today. Don't stress about the chips.
yeah, seems lately they hit the spot, now I've finished the big bag! time NOT to buy more for awhile, and eat more normal carbs like bread, potatoes, rice instead!