Fasting most of the day for the Yom Kippur day of fast here. No temple but will actually watch a live service on tv with my parents. It's of central synagogue in NYC. We watched last night as well. I had a plum this morning to take a small pill the psych gave me that I have been taking at breakfast everyday for anxiety. My dad argued that I shouldn't wait till dinner to take it - he is right lol. I was ready to take it at dinner so I could fast all day. So fasting still now, just had that plum :)
Thanks for all of your support.
Legs still bothering me - burning. I think I have shin splints but luckily pain is not too crazy and I will try not to hound on it - hopefully the pain will subside and not last.
Avg calories Saturday thru Tuesday (4 days) are 2000/day. Good.
Prob around 1000 calories today.
Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
9am: Bigger breakfast all natural,mostly carbs. Fruit 150, banana in oatmeal with fat free milk 350...and later some peanut butter 100?. Total 600. Surprisingly having small cravings today. Legs burning from last night's walk with my mom. I hope they feel better in a couple days from now.
11:30 Snacking plum 50, popcorn 360 still craving carbs more than anything else
2:30: full fat small yogurt 120
3:45 plum 70 and pretzels 100?
1300.
Even though I said I wasn't going to walk yesterday, I went with my mom when she came home from work Monday. I hope it wasn't a mistake as my lower legs are bothering me and burning on the lateral outside part on both legs. I have done very little Cardio over the past 5 months and before that not much for two whole years. So...I am not sure I needed 2 days in a row of higher intensity walking (Sunday def over 4 miles) and Monday def I would say around 4 miles. Sunday was good but Monday wasn't necessary. Gonna lay off everything today and tomorrow - being that it's the Jewish holiday my folks won't be eager to walk outside anyways, at least not during the daytime. We will all be home together again as I am still staying at my parents house.
Last night I woke up panicky but now that I know what's going on, I was able to control it somewhat and go back to sleep. Thankful for being able to sleep in these days off and fix this.
Progress as of today: 3 lbs lost so far, only 3 lbs to go!
Hang in there!
Edit: I did go walking with my mom In the early evening after she got home from work from around 5:45-6:45. I am not sure it was the best idea. My muscles in my butt and legs were sore still and during the walk my left ankle was hurting quite a bit and now I feel as though I may have slight shin splints bc I have some burning on the outside of my lower legs. Whatever - I am taking these two days now to relax. No exercise till Thursday or Friday. I have stayed away from weights since I don't feel the urge to do it in my parents house, I am not going to the gym, and I just want to relax right now anyways. Total calories for Monday were around 2050 I think.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
Anxiety in morning but feeling better as the day has gone on. Still very low energy though. Feeling s bit of soreness from an at least 4 mi walk with my mom yesterday after not waking that much since April and before that for around 2 years. Looking to improve on all of this and move on to live a meaningful life. Taking it one hour at a time right now and not really pushing anything. No exercise today. Last time I did weights was last Tuesday. Good to have gotten some cardio in with my mom on Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Right now sorta content with no cardio today bc like I said I am def a bit sore. And weights will happen when I am feeling better.
Was hanging onto my mom during some of the walk yesterday and hanging ontoy father as we walked around Costco in the afternoon. I am looking towards a full recovery and beginning to feel better today.
Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
550 throughout morning. 550 or so lunch
Prob around 1800-1850 today. Nothing fake. Pretty balanced. Still have anxiety but feeling a bit better. Still sorta weird appetite but in some ways a good thing at least I am eating more balanced but really that's about it...
Actually had some kinda build-up of anxiety over the past month and it caused me to slowly but as I look back there were signs throughout the month - slowly building up until I actually woke up in a panic at 11:30pm Wednesday night. I felt totally out of control and couldn't stand being alone. I was very dizzy and panicing. I called my parents and father drove the half hour to pick me up and bring me home to my parent's house. The next day my mom drove me to see a psychiatrist and I had my parents come in with me because I wanted them to witness it all going down instead of them waiting outside the room.
I am not yet feeling like myself and the past few days I could hardly even get the motivation or rather desire to go on here or even Facebook as much. I can write more but this is enough for now. I am not driving and last night I was even dizzy walking with my mom. So I am doing things to get better and this is something I have never experienced before.
The things that usually I find to be comforting I don't have as much energy to do - calorie counting, going on Facebook, coming here to at least track calories. Everything seems an extra chore or too obsessive or I am just uninterested..
I am still sorta anxious with a heavy head and dizziness but doing a bit better today. Past three nights I did wake up in a panic...doing better today than I have all other days since Tuesday / Wednesday.
And also my appetite has been noticeably less and different especially since Tuesday. It's almost a chore to eat and especially when eating alone, all I want are bland foods. No veggies. Mostly carbs and some fat - potato chips, roll with butter, bananas, luckily I am staying with my parents and am still eating pretty balanced despite it all because I am at least having dinner with them each night and also lunch today. I do feel anxiety even when eating.
Yesterday both parents were at work the whole day. The entire morning I felt like I was in a panic and struggled a lot just laying on the couch listening to a cd I bought for anxiety. Noon I forced myself to burn the other cd with the actual exercises on it and I brough it upstairs and went back to the couch, listening to the cd for the rest of the afternoon until around 4:45 when my friend texted me. I called her and asked if she was ok hearing what I went thru and I didn't want to upset her...she then told me all about her job afterwards and I felt my anxiety creeping up and up. My mom came in the door around 5:45 and I was glad bc I had no more energy to be on the phone or give advice. I had enough. I went walking with my mom - finally leaving the house and when we got to the school track I did walk 2 laps but felt unsteady during them and also took major breaks sitting and saying the slogans and breathing techniques from the cd. They seemed to help somewhat but I still felt dizzy and unconnected to what was going on around me.
Sunday: 400 cal thru morning fruit, later a natural protein bar (first packaged bar since Tuesday or Wednesday last week), lunch: 700 - big sandwich with whitefish salad, lox, butter, some leftover vegetables in butter, and an apple for dessert. Total cal Sunday prob around 1900-2000. Pretty healthy. More walking than I've done in months. Sorta had to hang onto my mom during some of it but felt better near the end. Then went shopping with parents very high anxiety at beginning fully hanging onto my dad but better at the end.
Monday: breakfast is cereal with fruit. Still craving easy food and carbs. Snack: fruit but I may reach for something else soon...just feeling a lot of ups and downs still in appetite. Def different Fromm typical...I would say I like not always being hungry of course and that I am satisfied after meals but also I know it would be better if I were feeling better overall and that I will admit I am still obsessing over food and calories or I wouldn't be on here? Calories so far today are 550. I am happy not to feel bloated lately or extremely full. That's a benefit to eating more normal portions but still not feeling myself when eating and the rest of the time. Working on it and def better than last Friday when I was home while parents went to work. Today I am still at their house. Def no driving right now. Still working to feel back to my old self even waking.
Lunch: toast 250 with butter 50, lox 50, cheese 100, marinated vegetables in a lot of oil 150 600.
Around 1150 after early lunch.
Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
7:30am: fruit & kombucha
10:30am: KIND fruit & nut bar...dark chocolate and nuts, only 5g sugar, it had a lot of fiber from inulin...like 7grams...feeling like I don't even want so much fiber & vegetables.
11:45: banana, leftover calamari & veggies in hot thai sauce and around 1/2 cup brown rice, another banana total around 600.
total: 900.
total around 1750, good.
exercise: weights routine
did laundry in AM. then relaxed on couch basically till afternoon. went to gym around 2, then got mani/padi as a treat, went to supermarket. and had a good evening.
Progress as of today: 2 lbs lost so far, only 4 lbs to go!
Happy Monday. Today is relaxed. Not going to temple, but relaxing at home for the New Year. Dinner with family was nice last night, I left my parents house around 10pm, later than I was planning on. And as typical with me for the past month, I got very anxious driving on the highway coming home, especially in the dark. I had to actually pull over to the shoulder of the road because I felt out of control of my car. I don't know what's wrong lately. I get anxious on the highways - day and night - maybe because I don't drive on them that frequently anymore? I'll have to get over this. Today is a nice day to just relax.
I do have physical therapy in the afternoon and later my friend who has the day off is stopping by for a quick visit & we'll share some dinner together.
Lately, anxiety pops up for me when driving and also while exercising. Truth is, I also should lay off all caffeine. Because caffeine sure doesn't help with it. I know the anxiety is all in my head and I am working to calm down a bit..
Thankful for these 2 days off :)
8am Breakfast: 2 plums 100, egg whites 60, avocado 80, banana 120, stevia, cinnamon, spray 20, oat bran 20: 400.
12pm Lunch: plum and chips 200, wrap 100, with some leftover brisket my mom cooked 200 at most...
900, good.
1200 after snack of pb on a wrap...
Dinner Thai food with best friend. Brown rice with vegetables and squid in a sauce. Total around 450 maybe.
1650, good.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
Happy Sunday. Just got up 1x and only for a bathroom break last night. Otherwise, I def slept soundly through the night. Left leg is a hair tight still, still recovering from the tendonitis....but realizing I am not going to lay off all fitness. These next few days, with far less to do since i'll be off work, are the perfect days to help me do what I do enjoy and that's it. Like I have said recently, this month will help me get back on track & hopefully feeling far better :)
at 1pm i'll leave to drive to my parents. Spending the afternoon and evening with them to celebrate the holiday - Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year). Should be nice. We'll also be celebrating my bday again and my sister will be there also this time. Her fiancé I don't think will be there because i think he traveled to Hungary for work and to visit his mom & grandma who still live there. He's from Hungary and moved to NYC when he was 17yrs old - 21 years ago.
Just had breakfast and looking to go out to the gym soon after a quick shower.
7:45am Kombucha and fruit - not more than 100.
8:30am Breakfast: Pancake 1/2 cup egg whites 60, 1/4 avocado 80, banana 120, oat bran 20, stevia, cinnamon & sf raspberry jelly 20: 300. good...followed up with caffeinated Bai Blueberry drink.
10am before gym: natural granola bar 150
Lunch: subway sandwich 350 at most. 900 :)
around 2250 for Sunday. good. and mostly healthy.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
I was eating most of the morning - snacking around - must be due to cravings since I was pretty exhausted feeling this morning...but I ended up feeling better as the day went on and ate pretty healthy foods throughout.
7:45am-8:30 snacking / breakfast: 2 plums 100, beef jerky 150, chips (veggie chips and I like them bc they have a good mix of carbs and fat...and it's satisfying to me) 150. total: 400. good.
did most of laundry besides bedding this AM...nice...nobody else in the laundry room and got it done so easily :) yes...perfect start to weekend...
9:30 fruit 50
10am: hot wheat bran & almond milk 70,
11am 200 cal snack. (fruit and a small 130cal protein bar) And fell asleep after from around 11am-noon Probably taking the full day off exercise and just going to the gym tomorrow (Sunday) morning.
Noon: lunch. Pancake 240 - stevia, cinnamon... 1/4 avocado 80, banana 120, egg whites 30, stevia, sf raspberry jelly 10 :) , plum 60, wrap 100. 400 1050 :)
2pm I left to do errands: get gas, library, grocery shopping at two shops, rite aid for some bday cards and other items. got home around 4.
4:30pm snack (actually didn't get crazy hungry for awhile this afternoon...nice for a change!) decaf iced coffee from DD 50 and a coconut bar (higher fat, some sugar, no protein) 200.
total so far today: 1300, good. still debating gym, it's now 5pm.
5:45 early dinner leftovers at home: started out with just having some cooked Chinese cabbage 50 and still debating the gym...decided to be healthier tonight and eat more balanced...I had leftover cooked salmon that would have been thrown out if I didn't eat tonight 300? cal, and then some Spanish yellow rice around 150-200.total 600...needed the carbs and needed the healthy fat and protein from the fish. I'm looking to have a great workout tomorrow at the gym, but tonight it's about relaxing. I may even have a snack if I get the urge later tonight. def a rest day from the gym today!
total cal after dinner: 1900.
2050 total. Bed early and gym tomorrow.
Okay grand total 2250. Ended with a granola bar at 9:30. I want to sleep thru the night :)
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
1200 after lunch, all healthy...but overeating veggies a bit too much...but all's good.
Planning on PT after work :) early to bed and easy day tomorrow...and gym tomorrow night because i'll be with family Sunday for the Jewish New Year.
I hope you are all relaxing tonight just like I am!
Tonight I did go to PT, got home at 8pm and had some dinner. Decided on lots of leftover veggies in sauces and some tofu. def not more than 500 cal.
total cals today not more than 2,000.
very tired day. I actually called to cancel PT...but then called back to keep the appointment. I did the right thing - because lately i'm too lazy and i'm ready to get back into the swing of things....and stick to the schedule of going 2x a week and making a full recovery this month. full recovery.
and I can't believe I actually lost weight and weighed below 125 last night. amazing!
I am totally going to reach my goals for this wedding (sister's wedding) in the spring. I forgot how much I AM CAPABLE of. Just takes determination. and a positive mindset.
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
1100 after lunch :)
1450 before gym.
1650 after gym, goodnight!
And weight....I am at 124.5!!!!!!!
Gonna continue with this awesome weight loss!!!! Gonna look great for my sister's wedding 1/2 year from now!
Progress as of today: 1.5 lbs lost so far, only 4.5 lbs to go!
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My grandchildren watched that service. Such a good idea. Hoping the pain in your legs goes away. Do you ever get massages?
I do get massages...all of them usually pretty good - but last one, I was already a bit anxious and wiry and for the first time I couldn't relax the whole time lol! but that's not like me & I love them, whenever I find the time to get them in. thank you for the suggestion...
and that service was good. I watched 2x yesterday, morning & evening. and the cantor (singer) was the same one, the whole day! I give her so much credit. to be such an AMAZING singer, beautiful voice, and do it without food, whole day, and without even water. she is amazing. I could picture her beautiful soprano voice on Broadway or in the opera. I haven't heard many singers as talented as her, and I have a music background. I felt her voice was as beautiful as some of Mariah Carey's songs. just outstanding!