1850 cal.
exercise: PT. was fun, I really like my physical therapist (in terms of his skills and personality). he's single. 43 or so - around 10-11 years older than me but he looks young and acts young. I have a bit of a crush on him...but have known him for actually around a year and a half. Even when I took a break from him (I only came back bc I have tendinitis in my ankle...) but...even when I took a break from him, we stayed in touch. I am pretty open with him. he is very easy to talk to. and definitely I have told him personal things, that usually I only tell my friends. I do consider him at least a friend. more than an acquaintance. I probably sound so dramatic sometimes with my stories to you all...but...this really is my life.
I actually grew up in the same town as where my PT grew up. So we have some things in common regarding upbringing and activities we both did in that town. Otherwise, he's a nice guy. I wouldn't say we are a perfect match, no. But, I would say that I like him for all the good qualities I see in him. He gives excellent patient care and always makes everyone feel at home that goes to his office. He is also very, very experienced as a physical therapist and goes above and beyond that of others I have gone to in the past, a long time ago. I guess part of the reason I like him is for his success, but in general I like his personality, I like the way he jokes, I like his playful side that he does have around everyone (all the patients)....it's very "adult humor" and just not typical boring PT. anyways, i'm lucky for this because it's a huge change from my day at work, sitting at my desk, alone at my computer, not talking. I realized this tonight - that I can have a good time there (not that I always want to be in PT!), but I can have a good time - since I have to be there anyways. And even though i'm on the younger side...and many clients are older, I can still talk a little and be social. it's better that way. :)
Tonight was nice. And I got there earlier after work because I left at 5pm and didn't work overtime. Tomorrow i'm supposed to go to a union meeting after work. It will be skipped by me. Why? Because I go to most of them. And enough is enough. I told my boss previously that Tuesdays and Thursdays I am going to PT (I really go Mon / Wed) so that I can go to the gym early (bc the gym is usually longer than the time I spend at PT). Therefore, i'm getting out of work at 4:30...and i'd be at the union at 5...too early for a 6pm meeting. So, I will go to the gym. Sometimes, you need to put yourself first. And until I am more relaxed and my health is better - aka my ankle is healed - it's time for me to care about my own well-being...and not the well-being of everyone else that I may see at a meeting. This week is busy and it's about me. I have a dr apt on Thursday after work before I go to the gym to get new orthotics since I haven't gotten them in over a year (they are covered completely by insurance and so is the doctor visit - free of charge). So, with PT tonight, gym tomorrow, PT Wednesday, and doctor / gym Thursday, i'm booked and I would say it's ok to miss this meeting. Trust me, so many people skip. And my health is my priority. and my sleep...I don't need a late, stressful night tomorrow, especially when I am able to leave work early for the gym.
I don't feel bad, at all, like I am breaking any rules or taking an easy way out. It riles me up just thinking about all the OT I used to give - 11, 12, and 13-hour days at my job. NO breaks except for lunch which used to be a half hour during those long shifts and later turned into an hour lunch but that's it, no other breaks. Now it's both 30 min and hour, depending what time I leave. It beat me down...all those hours, i'm not physically capable of it and now i'm getting over the consequences and regaining my health. That's my priority - not attending another meeting or sitting at my desk extra when it's not necessary. This year or however more i'm at this company, needs to include self care so that I can heal. Then, I can be happy at my sister's wedding when I walk in heels...maybe...
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHEN I AM HEALED COMPLETE, AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF KNOWING IT FOR SURE, I'LL BE LEAVING MY JOB AND ENTERING THE NYPD.
so even if I wasn't entering the nypd, my health should have been my priority all along.
and if anyone questions me or thinks that I am joking, I will tell them flat out, try dealing with the pain I was in for so long. and putting your life on hold because of it. still not able to walk at the beach yet. or go on long walks or do activities that involve lots of cardio (walking!). so for anyone that gives me any sh*t about my choices right now, I will NOT stand for it. I mean people at work and my own parents. Anyone that thinks i'm taking it easy can go to H*LL. and that is because they do not experience TWO YEARS of terrible shin splints / leg tendinitis. or the mental strength it took to overcome it finally this winter. They didn't experience then, after healing, another similar injury all because I was so out of shape. And now i'm in PT during the summer when most people want to be outside walking around and exercising to be nice and toned at the beach. doing cardio! now my life is on hold again, not theirs. So for ANYONE who thinks it's all a big joke, who doesn't understand my choices, understand why I want control of my life, for anyone at work who doesn't know how I used to work those horribly long hours, I will say it to their face. I will not stand for anyone getting in my way or thinking that I have an easy way out. Because I also had my own health struggles that they probably don't know about. And they don't need to know...but they do need to stay out of my way.
I am serious. I am adamant that I heal and get out of this industry. Nothing is going to stop me. It's my life. It's what I want. And i'm going to reach my dream of the NYPD. Nobody is going to prevent me.
With my job, and the hours it used to be, it was holding me back. And now my health is ultra important and I do NOT need to work anymore long hours. Not when everyone else gets away with murder.
More importantly, it's my life and I will NOT be used and have my health affected. NO MORE.
I will start speaking up for myself at work if I need to...or I will ask to be transferred out if I have to...I will make sure my health is back. and nothing, like I said nothing, is going to prevent me from reaching that goal. It's not only my life that's at stake, but my career, along with financial independence. Right now, i'm just cutting out. Hardly any savings. Nothing extra. If I were to get that NYPD spot, it would only be for the better. On all levels.
So if you think I sound all emotional and desperate, it's because I am about this. This is right at my heart. Very important to me. I want this goal for myself. Both my health (first) and the NYPD. I cannot have one without the other. And it's very upsetting that I got into this state and now I am working to get out of it.
And extra hours at work - just doesn't cut it. or help me. at all.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Chips and kombucha 350....
Beans 100, salad 50, 1/2 bagel 200, cream cheese 50, fish 250? 650 father's day lunch.
1000...
fruit - 200
frozen yogurt 400?
1600 or so......
and chips 100.
1700, good.
exercise: weights
So, about yesterday's massage, not gonna say too much. Just will say I have been using this massage therapist for around 8 years. He is my favorite, always. Anyways, he knows I now need to drive much farther to see him. He gave me his card...saying that he could come to me. I have known him a long time, and this is what I will do next time. Yes, I am damn lucky and yes I am not worried in the least about him coming over to my place to give me a massage. And, he said it would be the same rate. Good deal. To repeat, I have nothing to worry about and am lucky for this opportunity. :) He actually lives much closer to me than he does to his workplace, anyways.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
exercise: none.
gave blood at doctor in late morning. got a nice massage in afternoon.
Frozen yogurt with toppings 400?
iced coffee 50
veggies 50 :)
chips 200
avocado on a bun 300
1000
peppers 50
1050...
will have a protein bar later.
Total 1250 cals. No exercise.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Decent day so far.
5-10 min walk at lunch.
Healthy breakfast of 2 eggs on a roll with a little butter., green teas, some of a bar as a snack. just a nut bar. some sugar. 550 cal in moring till lunch.
Healthy lunch: baked chicken and salad and cooked red onions. not really more than 500. we had diet coke in the office, I took some - like a cup.
snack on way home: strawberries 100.
Dinner: huge and filling :) thai vegetable soup around 100-150, celery 50?, tomatoes with some salt (feeling like I need it) 50, vegetables in basil sauce 200 at least..., kombucha 50, and a natural collagen protein vanilla flavored bar by bulletproof (actually good if you have shin splints / tendency to get tendinitis)...I think that's my whole dinner. 700-750. good.
total: 1850-1900 good.
exercise - the walk 5 min at lunch. REST DAY. need to continue to rest ankle. tomorrow I have a dr apt, but will prob drive. I may change my mind...but...if I rest my ankle, it'll get better faster. the dr apt is around 10-15 min away, walking. it's a little uphill, just slight. but with the tendinitis, it may be better I drive.
Ended the night with 2300 cals.
Saturday I have a fasting blood test and I am planning a fast until 3:30-4 or actually even later. I am planning a down day. And actually will try to keep calories extremely low and have frozen yogurt later today...
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Calories till end of workday: 1300
Snack before gym: 2 plums adding up to around 100 and a banana 120. i'll say 250. i am sorta liking this idea of having a lot of fruit before gym. i also had two vitamin water zeros. This is what works for me. The fruit is filling...and this makes sense to me as a way to keep calories down, way down, instead of eating granola bars...we shall see...as long as i have some fruit, and keep varying it, this can work at least for a few days lol.
after gym: slight splurge. getting sick of the sugary bars lately! i had a cliff bar 250 followed by some popcorn with some oil 150 or so. 400.
total today: 1950, quite good. i do better NOT keeping calories crazy low.
i may not have lost weight like i wanted to...but at least i'm staying active with the weights and getting more active doing PT at least for my ankle. things always work out. just need more patience.
i had a GREAT weights routine.
I can now do 50 pushups in a set. for sure. i tried it out again tonight. and, i'm slowly getting better at clapping pushups - getting there. i an do around 5 in a row.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Glad you got to the gym!
Calories up to lunch: 600 and pretty heathy. A little extra sugary mints. Healthy lunch: decided to sorta splurge but honestly it's healthy. Avocado 100, crackers 150, spinach with added sea salt 50, white meat chicken with some skin 300? Blackberries 100. 700. 1300, good. Going to PT tonight even though my regular guy is on vaca. I feel better going and making the lower body part of my regular routine forever. So this is my start, even though it's not hardcore in the least - I still have pain in my ankle. Otherwise, it's been a good week.
Calories after work before PT: one banana 120, 2 plums 130 or so. 250.
1550, excellent...good choice to be more prepared with more fruit...
after workout: a Cliff Energy Bar, not the best. 250, but sugar tends to personally help ME sleep. in just the right amount....but now sorta hungry. but I realize it's just mental. since I had the bar not too long ago. I like having the bigger, healthy lunch...although it sorta got me too tired, I think. or it could be I didn't sleep enough last night, lol...
1800. I should DEF not go back for any seconds. this is a fabulous calorie count. Being active after work helps me keep calories down, since i'm not home to eat huge meals.
anyways, tomorrow is the gym. I am planning for a successful day. But I think I may have to have something small now...yes, sorta had to...well, didn't have to, but did anyways. small serving chips. 70 cal.
total between 1850-1900. still good.
exercise: PT (which included 10 minutes of bike). ankle hurts. maybe i'll take an anti-inflammatory. yep. I took one. too much pain and I need to be able to sleep tonight.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Early Drinks: hot water with one lemon, around 2 cups...and then two servings (one bottle) of kombucha. 100 cals. Should help digestion along this AM. Lately, there are less kombucha options at the store. I've been drinking Reeds. I think it doesn't work as well as other brands like Synergy when it comes to digestion. I would like to pick up more tonight since I ran out, but, will probably just stick with hot water and lemon the next few days as these are expensive and not worth me getting to the gym late just bc I want to pick up more haha.
Breakfast at work: one fried egg 100, on a flatbread 100, with avocado 100, some sea salt, black pepper, turmeric. 300. tea in morning.
Snack at work: coffee flavored greek yogurt. Has some sugar...but I think I need it right now (mentally, anyways!) 160
560, good.
Lunch: leftover chicken from my friend's fried rice on Saturday lol def needs to be eaten by today! 250-300, leftover vegetable soup (hope it's ok, had it since Friday I think) 150, extra greens (kale and spinach mix) that I will microwave with the chicken at lunch. 50. avocado 80, and probably crackers (leftover matzah haha) around 100. I will say around 650...sorta high, but also healthy (and worth it if it's the healthiest meal I eat all day, besides luckily some health at breakfast as well.)
1200 or so, that's good....let me figure out after work...
banana 120, and nature valley granola bars before gym 200: 320.
1520.
150 extra cals before gym - so around 1650...
After gym: will be another bar. (is small, compact, helps me fall asleep and doesn't bloat me eating late and getting up early for work). 220
around 1850-1900, perfect for today.
I did get some veggies in and it was healthy breakfast and lunch. that's a start.
no cardio except for moving around at the gym doing my weights, back and abs routine.
my workout was superb.
I can once again do 50 pushups in one set....and actually, I think I got in a couple after 50.
I am reinstating my pushup goal. I will reach 100 one day! haha.
and by end of summer, probably 75 at least. fast ones.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
So glad the Sarno info has helped you--sounds like it made a real difference.
I have another suggestion on the same subject. I saw an interview with this dr. He is Howard Schubiner MD and his website/book is:
www.unlearnyourpain.com
Just wanted to say in the interview he of course emphasized that people do need to find out if their pain is structural/medical, and to address that if necessary. Then to go on to the techniques of "unlearning" your pain.
I just had a very strange sciatica episode last week that I didn't attribute to anything injury-wise. Your comment (reminder of Sarno) made me search my brain and sure enough, I traced it to a phone call the very day it hit me.
So Thanks!
Overall extra calories in last couple weeks: at least 1,000.
My goal to be thinner by summer didn't work out, unfortunately. Basically I will FULLY blame it on my ankle. I have tendinitis and it didn't heal at all yet. Therefore, basically all cardio was put on hold these past two months and every time I try to go for it again, my ankle just hurt again nonstop the next couple days. Therefore, I gotta deal with what I got myself into, stop doing cardio, until I am better. sucks...but this is my own fault for overdoing it one Sunday back at the end of April. Thinking I should jog (under a mile or just about a mile) and then walk for 4-5 more miles after. I did myself in and now I'm paying with the consequences.
It's very upsetting at this time of year, when I DO want to be much more active. When I do want to achieve weightloss (weightloss is not fun when it's only watching what you eat). I do want to be OUT of my apartment, AWAY from food. I want to be outdoors. I'm telling you, the ankle tendinitis is messing with my lifestyle for sure.
I can only hope that it will not be giving me any pain by mid-July! I really, really hope so.
Another downer, my legs were great for definitely around 3 months before all of this. They had healed....I was looking forward to enjoying a summer walking a bit on the beach shore....and now!? well....THIRD SUMMER IN A ROW with an injury to my lower half that prevents cardio and doesn't allow for walking at the beach. Definite downer.
I first got Tendinitis around February 2013...and finally got rid of the problems around January 2015-February 2015...and now I have this crap since end of April 2015. I am working on being positive but it's a real kicker when I tried so hard to overcome one thing and now i'm down with another.
Also, I went to get my haircut Saturday. I told him not to cut much, just a trim, I'm trying to grow it out....well...IT GOT FULLY LOST IN TRANSLATION. I now have hair up to my chin. He will never cut my hair again. He used to be good, now, I don't think so anymore. I cannot believe that my laughing that he was cutting so much and my joking meant that I was enjoying it. I never said to cut it so short that I couldn't wear it up. I was laughing and joking because I was horrified. when I saw him do it. Oh well. Now I can't ever when it fully up. That has me quite annoyed as well. Only 2x in my life did I get a bad haircut like this one. And with tips, it cost $75 - NOT WORTH IT.
1650 cals till late evening...
Total cals are 1850. But not a very healthy day. Too many bars. It's ok, tomorrow I plan to make great choices by being prepared and packing healthy options in the morning :)
Exercise: PT. No cardio.
Feels good to do PT after work.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
def gained a lb or two...grrrr....
too much sitting. I can't take this. and then when I do walk, like I did yesterday for around 30-45 min, my ankle hurts. oh well.
I was going to fast, but of course it's so hard to stick with that...
Breakfast: oat bran 120 with apricot 30 and full fat greek yogurt 200: 350...with a roll 150 with peanut butter 150 = 650.
snack: another apricot 30 and natural bar (only natural things, higher in sugar, some fat, small amount protein) 170 200
total: 850 - great...just need to keep calories lower for the afternoon / dinner. I CAN do this. :/
In order for me to lean out, I will have to lean out my calories. I hate it! If I could at least walk now, it would be easy to keep my weight lower. lack of exercise (cardio) is the most frustrating thing!
Frozen yogurt around 300 1150.
shake after gym around 250
1400.
big dinner: around 1050-1150.
2500 or so.
Being dumb and eating more than I can burn = weight gain.
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
Kombucha Fermented Tea -Brand Reviews by Jackie!....
Brands in order of my favorite preferene (in order of my favorite, which is Kevita Master Brew, #1):
1. Kevita Master Brew Kombucha: Calorie-wise, the BEST option. Whereas all the brands below has around 80 cals per bottle, these guys only have 40 cals per bottle (20 cals per serving of the drink!). These are ridiculously a good bang for your calorie-buck. Also, the flavors are nice and sweet, they use stevia. Less sugar in this brand compared to all brands below. I think this brand came out this year or so. Never saw these bottles in stores by me before this year or so. Flavors are all tasty. Tart cherry is good, grapefruit, lavender melon, even a pineapple peach flavor! They are all good, in my opinion, and I love that they are only 40 cals per bottle. But interestingly, I haven't been able to find them in stores for at least the past two months. For some reason, the health food stores stopped selling them...
2. GT's Kombucha: this was the original brand I tried that got me hooked. For years, this was the only brand every available to me at the health food store i'd go to way back around 2005-2006. I used to just go by calories, and only buy the ones with 30 cal per serving (60 cal per bottle). I really like the Trilogy flavor and when it's out I still get it. Problem with this brand is that I've had it so much, it's not new to me. Otherwise, calorie-wise, i'd definitely recommend this brand as one of the healthiest and with the lowest calories. There's a Citrus flavor that is awesome here too. As well as Cosmic Cranberry, a Strawberry Flavor (70 cals, still pretty low!) as well as many other flavors that range from 60-80 cals per bottle. This is one of the lowest cal brands. They now also offer drinks with chia seeds, but I don't buy them as they are also higher calories.
3. Reed's Kombucha: most unique flavors. Many contain ginger and sometimes I'm not NOT in the mood for ginger. Calories are more like 70 per bottle. Sometimes the store only has this brand so I do buy these when it's all the store is selling...Flavors are all tasty. Not too gingery or tart. Flavors are on the sweet side.
4. Health Aid Kombucha: found this recently in stores as a good alternative to try new flavors. Flavors are exotic. Usually around 80 cals per bottle so I usually am not interested in trying these...because I know that the brands above have lower cals. However, I tried a couple interesting flavors. Beet wasn't that good but I did love the apple flavor.
5. LIVE Kombucha Soda; I don't really like these, the flavors are sorta wacky. Like Orange Soda, Ginger, Root bear. Not for me...And even the packaging of these, in my opinion, makes it look fake, not healthy, and unappealing. Just not a fan of this brand and flavor options. I've tried root bear and orange and didn't love them.
****************************************************************
Banana 120
Kombucha 80
Fiber one 180 with almond milk 30..210.
410.
healthy natural bar, fruit, 270
700..
lunch: veggies and tofu 300, wheat thins
And a chocolate bar. 300. 1600....sorta high.
calories before dinner: 1650.
dinner: too much. probably around 1000.
total today: 2650, i'm sure.yuck...pms-ing and gave into temptation because ordered thai with my best friend....and ate extra rice of mine with curry and ate some of hers too - fried rice and 2 small fried vegetable spring rolls. too much today. it's ok. I sorted needed the extra fat / carbs / food. I think i'll feel better tomorrow. Also, I sorta have enough meat to last me thru Wednesday, sorta. Lots of extra salmon and chicken from what we ordered.
tomorrow's plan: fasting...YES, i'm going to do it this time. enough is enough. Tomorrow I want to fast till sometime early afternoon before I go to the gym. Then, I may just stay away from bulky foods tomorrow...and have lighter things like frozen yogurt. Yeah, I had enough lately of veggies. I know I sound weird. I may even just have frozen yogurt before the gym, who knows!
Progress as of today: 0 lbs lost so far, only 2 lbs to go!
I just wish my ankle didn't bother me so I could walk, walk, walk, walk. oh well, it takes time. :/ just wanted to feel lean by summer and constantly needing to cut my food intake doesn't really cut it for me - I prefer exercise to help me lean out....it's just so much easier for me, personally. except facing the facts, it seems it's not the easy way if I can't do the cardio.
really I should look at my diet and fix it up...but...it's really not that my diet is so terrible, it's that i'm not exercising enough.
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Work can be so demanding and will take advantage of a good employee. I like that you choose to put your health first. You have some great goals and you sound so positive about them. What I see is your enthusiasm and I'm excited for you.
biscottibody59 on 06/22/2015:
Just wanted to make sure you saw my comment about the website unlearnyourpain.com below in a previous entry of yours.
I read only one of the Sarno books--it had quite a few "case study" scenarios. I kept renewing it from the library and came close to dropping it in the bathtub a few times--haha!
I hope you have a good week, despite your predicament.